WEBVTT - Joan Baez 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:12.440 Welcome, Welcome, Welcome back to the Bob Left Sets podcast. 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:18.760 My guest today is the one and only legendary Joan Bias. Joan, 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:22.720 the new movie is out. I am a noise. Now 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:24.920 that it's out, how do you feel about it? 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:32.559 Well, the response has been absolutely extraordinary and wonderful. But 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:37.560 even before that, I recognize it as a superb work 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:40.080 of art. And that doesn't even have that much to 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:43.200 do with me. It's the filmmaking. I mean, I'm glad 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:47.600 they were making it about me, but it is really 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:53.120 a work of art, and it was meant to be 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.880 an honest legacy, and it did turn out to be that. 0:00:57.400 --> 0:01:00.400 Well, it's one thing to have private conversations, is another 0:01:00.400 --> 0:01:03.440 thing to hear your see your story depicted on the 0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:06.560 big screen for everybody. You talk about a lot of 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:13.280 personal elements, depression, relationships. Do you squirm a little bit 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:15.959 seeing that up there? Or do you say, no, that's me, 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:16.800 that's fine. 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.080 The funny thing is what I squirm about is something 0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:23.880 like a vocal lesson the other You know, it's me, 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:27.160 It's fine. I didn't know how i'd feel. Plus I 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:29.679 wasn't there when I made it. I had nothing to 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:33.520 say about it at the very very end, they do. 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:35.240 You want to have a look, but it's too mad 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:39.600 to do anything about it. So I didn't know what 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:44.040 extent of it would be cringe worthy, But the little 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:47.640 parts that are now just make me laugh. And I 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:51.280 know that as a whole, whatever is in there is 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:53.840 in there for a reason. And you know, I mean, 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:58.560 I've got nothing to lose now, really, Famili's gone. I'm 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:03.920 eighty two, and if I want to be honest, let's 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:06.880 just let it all hang out. So that's what we did. 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:10.840 So you talk a lot about depression in the movie. 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.639 When did you first feel that you were different from 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:15.560 other people that you felt depressed? 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:19.600 Well, it's funny about depression. My mother was depressed her 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:21.840 whole life, but didn't know it until she took any 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:26.440 depression when she was in her eighties. So you don't know, 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:28.560 you just know, I mean, for me, speaking for me, 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:31.959 I didn't know that word. I didn't know. I just 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:36.840 knew I was different. I knew other kids didn't feel 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:40.840 sick in the morning, didn't you know? Those are the 0:02:40.880 --> 0:02:43.560 things that made me feel different, you know, in another 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:46.000 world from my classmates. 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:49.800 So do you take medication now? 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:54.120 Yes, I do for the deep work that I did 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:58.359 to really go through the tunnel and come out what 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:01.240 I considered to be healthy human being. We had to 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:06.320 find the appropriate medication that would allow me to work. 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:11.640 If I was working from a place of depression and 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:15.200 I didn't have really didn't have my faculties available to me, 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:17.560 I don't think it could have worked, or it would 0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:23.720 have been really really painful. So to find that takes 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:27.280 some experimenting, you know. And then we came up and 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:31.000 I still it's different now because it internally one changes 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:36.560 and periodically something will go off and I'll review the 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:40.480 medication see what Maybe you know I need less of 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:44.040 or more of, et cetera. But I know I'm still 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:46.680 on it. It's a steady I'm joking about it in 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:49.960 the film, you know. I say I'm taking sea sick 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:55.520 pills and nausea pills, up and down pills, and then 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:58.400 on top of that, I take my own stuff, So 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:00.000 my own stuff is what's concerned. 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:06.000 Yeah, So how is your outlook and feeling differently different 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:07.320 now that you're on medication. 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:11.960 I don't think that's the question. I think the question 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:16.800 is how is it different from the work that I did? 0:04:18.520 --> 0:04:20.560 I think, well, okay, do this way. If I stopped 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:24.320 all on medication, I think I would be in pretty 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:27.599 big trouble. But that isn't the issue because I'm I 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:31.320 found what's appropriate to keep the highest from being too 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:34.960 high and the lows from being too low. And then 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:38.240 it's more about the work that I have done and 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:40.320 to some degree still do. But I don't see a 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:46.800 therapist anymore. No, I'm really free of that. So no, 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:49.560 it is it's about the work. It's about having done 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:50.040 the work. 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:53.919 Okay. In the film, you say that you ultimately do 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:59.200 this deep work at a relatively advanced age, inspired by 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:02.120 your system. Me me, can you tell us a little 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:03.520 bit more how that comes to be? 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:08.279 Well, she was She and I always knew there was 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:11.080 something wrong. I mean, there's something wrong with our relationship, 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:16.000 but we never understood why. And then but she was 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:18.480 the first one to think, whoopsie, you know, maybe it 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:21.640 was something that we really that was really buried and 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:24.679 did I was I understood in going investigating that with her, 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:29.760 and so we both embarked on this journey and came 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:34.400 up with very similar stories and supported each other through 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:37.920 it in spite of our difficulties. Together, You know, we 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:43.560 really were there to support each other on their mutual journeys. 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:49.880 Well, in the movie, there's issues of abuse, which your 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:56.560 father denies and the two of you believe happened. Uh, 0:05:57.279 --> 0:06:02.120 how did you reconcile your father's deniy was what you felt? 0:06:02.760 --> 0:06:05.080 You know? I read him. I was reading a book 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:07.719 of a famous actor who I willed that name, but 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:13.080 he he discovered that he was abused by a priest 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:17.719 when he was eight, and he struggled with that for 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:22.159 his entire lifetime, and at one point decided he was 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:24.400 going to call this old man you know who had 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:28.799 abused him and other kids. And he called him, ready 0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:30.920 to just say, you know, you sort of a bitch, 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:34.400 you whatever, and he realized he couldn't say anything. This 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:39.600 old guy was a pleasant old man who was living 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.920 probably a fairly decent life, having passed the stage where 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:45.599 he had to do all the shenanigans, and he didn't. 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:49.800 And he realized I didn't remember. I mean, he buried it. 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.360 And I don't know how that happens, but obviously it 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:57.640 happened to me. So I the reason I could forgive 0:06:57.800 --> 0:07:02.960 my parents is that I I knew they didn't remember anything, 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:05.520 and that that's one of the hardest things for people 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:09.960 to understand, because I mean, just the expression on your face, 0:07:10.000 --> 0:07:13.400 for instance, on the zoom is what what what the 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:14.440 fuck is that about? 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:19.840 Okay, So, how do you find a box to put 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:21.440 that in? All these years later? 0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:32.160 I guess the process of discovering who did what to 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:34.960 whom is a long process and a deep process, and 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:39.720 I guess the best answer to that is putting in 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:43.000 my little multiple helpers, and that's what they're there for, 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:49.200 and just somebody helps take the take the load off 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:54.320 each You know, each time there's a fresh realization, there 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:57.000 are different ways, there are different places to put it in, 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:59.920 different ways to deal with it. And it's ongoing, No, 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:03.680 it's it's constant through that time period of discovery. 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:07.040 In the movie, you say a number of times you're 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:10.400 not good at relationships. Do you think that's as a 0:08:10.440 --> 0:08:11.560 result of the abuse? 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:15.760 I think that from when I talk to people, everybody 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.400 goes ha ha ha ha, yam too, So I don't. 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:21.400 I think one to one, one on one relationships are 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:25.679 probably the hardest things for us, the human beings, to tackle. 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:32.720 I think that it's exacerbated by the fact that we 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:38.880 once trusted and that trust was taken away, you know, 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:46.640 so who do you trust? You don't to be intimate 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:48.560 means you have to trust the other person to open 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:50.800 yourself up to the other person. So I'm kind of 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:53.000 joking when I say I'm I mean, I'm really good 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:57.319 one on two thousand, because I am, and I never 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:01.000 I mean. Towards the end of the time period that 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.920 I was really working on this stuff, I reached a 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:09.839 level of wholeness that I couldn't have imagined before. And 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:13.640 my therapis said he started hinting around about, well, you know, 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:16.640 maybe the next step is to try and find somebody, 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:22.560 to find a partner, and I didn't know. I'm happy here. 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:24.760 I don't want to take on that load, which you'd 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:28.679 take another ten years. So that was just a decision 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:32.240 I made because I know that I don't have the 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:39.000 patients to disrupt my life again when it's reached this really, 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:40.880 really happy level. 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:44.360 Now we've had COVID the last handful of years really 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:47.839 been crazy. But what does your everyday life look like? 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:50.120 Are you more of a homebody? Do you go out? 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:56.240 I am homebody. I would say those two choices very much. 0:09:56.280 --> 0:09:59.800 Your homebody, I guess I've been out enough for sixty 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:03.120 years traveling around, and I thought, oh, you know, when 0:10:03.160 --> 0:10:05.120 I'm through with that, and I can go visit these 0:10:05.120 --> 0:10:09.480 places and just hang out and see stuff, all things 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:11.440 I didn't do while I was traveling. But I haven't 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:14.559 really had any interest in getting back on a plane. 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:17.440 The only thing I've been doing is hopping around the 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:21.640 country talking about this film. And you know, at some 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:26.280 point that might change, because because right now it's I 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:29.600 don't have a what's a normal day for Joan? You know, 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:33.560 when I'm not working on something. A normal day for 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:37.439 Joan is more time on the property. There's a creek 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:39.760 on this property where I spend a lot of time. 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:44.120 It's my one of my happy places. I collect rocks, 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:49.080 I mean I do. I talk to trees. I live 0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:51.840 a life full of nature, as much as a much 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:53.520 nature as I can fit in there. 0:10:55.320 --> 0:11:02.000 Okay, you're someone who is attractive, outspoken, in legendary famous. 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:05.080 I have to believe when you're out and about to 0:11:05.200 --> 0:11:07.480 use the vernacular, men are hitting on you. 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:13.880 But a nice thought, I mean son thought, because at 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:21.080 this age it's a question of sensuality, sexuality. Where is that? 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:24.319 When I was talking to Jane fondo. She said, oh, 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:27.520 I closed up shop a couple of years ago, and 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:31.600 I said, well, I don't know what's what is here 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:38.000 at this point to be hit upon. I feel very 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:44.280 vibrant and I would be delighteders. No men were hitting 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:47.440 on me as long as I don't have to hit back. 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:54.479 So if a man is warm and congenial, you basically 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:57.360 send a vibe. At best, we're on the friend level. 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:02.440 Probably probably yeah. 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:05.120 And when we were young, person, what vibe did you send? 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:13.000 Oh? I think really confused messages. I mean really, I 0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:18.720 look back at myself and my schoolmates. They couldn't understand me. 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:21.760 I mean I didn't understand me, but it was very 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:26.640 confusing message that I sent out. And I'm thinking also 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.840 when we moved to Baghdad, for we were there for 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:33.599 a year, my family and I would write my classmates 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:38.000 and they never responded. And I was telling them all 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:43.120 about Baghdad. Well, they had no point of reference. It 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:45.760 wasn't interesting to them that or not I was talking about. 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:49.800 So it was just one more I guess what I'm 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:52.560 saying is that when we moved a lot and so 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:57.880 I never really did have time to hang out and 0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.560 get friends. So I don't know whether I really was 0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:03.920 capable of doing that or not, but the messages a 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:07.600 girlfriend from those days, there were a few people who 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:12.480 were really kind to me, and this girl was so 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:14.920 sweet and would go through the when I was having 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:17.920 a panic attack. She'd be helpful and she would be there. 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:21.559 Then years and years later, decades later, I got a 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:24.559 letter of her from her saying, oh, now I get it. 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:28.000 She had developed a phobia of bridges, going over a 0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:30.600 bridge and that, you know, all of a sudden, Oh, 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:34.199 is that's what my strange friend Joan was going through. 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:37.920 When did you have your first panic attack? 0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:42.800 Oh, Jesus, I don't know. I mean depends probably on 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:48.760 how you define it. When you're really little, pretty little, And. 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:51.360 If you told your mother you were feeling this way, 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:52.360 what would she say? 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:57.640 Oh? She I wanted to be with my mom because 0:13:57.640 --> 0:13:59.360 she would say, oh, let's have a cup of tea. 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:03.040 I mean, I've run home from school in kindergarten. That 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:06.520 my first day of kindergarten, I remember, and I found 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:10.000 my way back home because I couldn't. I was too 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:13.640 scared to be there. And instead of saying, well, we're 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.360 going to take your back and talk to the teacher. 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:17.400 She said, oh, let's have a cup of tea. You know, 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:20.920 so that did two things. It was my comfort zone 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:25.280 but also helped keep me from dealing with the reality 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:28.600 out there. I'm still glad she did it. 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:36.440 Okay, so you live this tenoran lifestyle and you talk 0:14:36.520 --> 0:14:39.680 about not being able to make friends. How much of 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:42.560 that was situational and how much of that was you. 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:45.440 Well, yeah, that's what I was trying to say just 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:50.480 now that because we traveled like that, and I don't 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:53.600 know if we'd ended up somewhere for ten years, would 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:58.000 I have developed, you know, relationships, would they have been healthy? 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:02.080 Would they have been healthy relationship? I mean this first 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:04.640 time I thought of it in those terms. But if 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:07.560 I had stayed somewhere, I really don't know. I can't 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:10.960 imagine that I would really develop, you know, a healthy 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:14.720 bunch of friends around me that I wanted to hang 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:18.360 out with and you do whatever normal kids do. 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:24.400 So at this late date, how integrated? How mean you 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:26.160 talk to other people on the phone? Do you hear 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:28.920 from email or you're more of an ice, You're more 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:31.120 of an isolated person with your team. 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:36.280 No, No, I have the emails and the text coming 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:40.720 and going, and yeah, no, I'm not isolated in that sense. Really, 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:44.600 it's just not I just really don't want to go anywhere. 0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:48.520 I don't want to. I don't go to many concerts. 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.480 It's just like, you know, I'm stay home and I 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:54.960 have lots of friends. Now I have good friends. 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:56.520 Okay, I move. 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.400 We have movie night and there are six women who 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:02.720 watch it. This happened when my mom was still alive 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:05.760 for ten years in her little house, we'd have movie 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:09.040 Night the first Tuesday of every month. Well I'm still 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:11.560 doing that. And then I have another group of friends. 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:14.320 We dance together. We used to dance in the city 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:17.600 and now we just dance on Zoom once a week 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.320 and that's and then I have a group I call 0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:24.360 the Gang of Eight. And there are people I refer 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:28.520 to for anything political, to discuss with them and ask 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:32.280 their suggestions and their thoughts. So some of those overlap. 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:33.640 But I have a lot of friends. 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:36.480 So how do you pick the movies? And what are 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:37.880 some good movies you've seen? 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:42.000 How do you pick the movies? Oh, usually it's somebody 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:45.120 has a plan and then we start talking about it 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:47.320 and the planet switches and then we just turn on 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.440 TV and see whatever comes up. We turn on the 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:54.880 Prime one night and on the Waterfront was on, and 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:58.800 it was it was an old brainer. It was so wonderful, 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:02.960 especially compared to so much of the trashism that's out now, 0:17:03.360 --> 0:17:06.120 to see, you know, really good. Sometimes you just want 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.560 to be silly. I think the next one I have 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.240 in my mind for us to watch is TUTSI. I 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:13.520 haven't seen it for years, you know, it would make 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:18.200 us laugh. And then their serious nights, in their nights 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:20.840 when there's political stuff going on, and we'll brave it, 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:23.520 you know, I'll watch something it's hard to watch. 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.119 And this group of eight that you check in with 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:30.840 political stuff on what kind of topics have you been 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:31.920 broaching recently? 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:37.840 Well, you know, obviously the most recent is the Middle East, 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:42.160 where we all pretty much decide the exception of few things, 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:43.640 I wish they had them in front of me, because 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:46.040 there are a few things that you can do and 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:51.879 go and be with. It's such an agonizing situation. And 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:56.760 we're all, you know, and have been non violent activists 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:59.880 for most of our lives, and there comes a point 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:06.720 when things aren't such full flow. There's very little room 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:09.600 for non violent action, although there is some and you know, 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:13.240 it's non violent action. There's those wonderful women who are 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:18.960 thanking their captors and getting hell for it because they're 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:25.439 supposed to be resentful and shabby. And this woman, I 0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:30.400 guess shaking hands with her abductor, with her kidnapper as 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:34.760 he treated her well, she's saying thank you. That is 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:38.520 an act of strength, and real strength. 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:44.440 You're a cent in your career coincided with the advent 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:50.160 of the sixties, youth quake blowing up. Politics was everything. 0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:54.600 The younger generation was a great percentage of the population. 0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:58.679 There was the Vietnam War in nineteen seventy, there was 0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:04.240 Kent State, there was a so called returned to the land, 0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:07.560 people looking their wounds, and then we had the Iran 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:10.720 crisis in the next decade, and people were talking about 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:17.119 bombing Iran. With the perspective you have, it's like, is 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:19.879 there any hope can we you know? Or is this 0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:21.760 just endemic to society. 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:28.359 I don't really know. I know that, you know, people 0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:31.200 would assume that I'm an optimist. I never have been. 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:35.879 I struggle to not be a pessimist. Somebody suggested it 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:38.159 was a waste of time, and I think that's true. 0:19:39.240 --> 0:19:44.879 I struggle with hope. Somebody said, hope is a discipline, 0:19:46.240 --> 0:19:49.520 and it's like a muscle. It has to be exercised 0:19:49.640 --> 0:19:53.840 for me, for somebody who's glass half empty and sometimes 0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:57.240 all the way empty. I think the trick is that 0:19:57.640 --> 0:20:00.680 I've always done what I've done anyway, whether I was 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:05.800 optimistic about it or not. The moral compass would just 0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:08.159 dictate what I did next. 0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:18.320 In the movie, it hints at the fact that you 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:23.080 always knew you were different, you were charismatic, you were 0:20:23.119 --> 0:20:27.800 going to be successful. When did you internally recognize that. 0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:32.639 I don't know about being successful. I don't think that 0:20:32.680 --> 0:20:36.320 word was in my vocabulary. I had total faith in 0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:40.200 my voice. I might have been, you know, had squeamish 0:20:40.240 --> 0:20:42.879 about everything else, or thought I wasn't good enough, or 0:20:43.280 --> 0:20:46.800 thought I was a dumb Mexican whatever, But once that 0:20:46.920 --> 0:20:52.080 voice started to I'd say by sixteen, I was sure 0:20:52.119 --> 0:20:54.400 that it was special. By the time I was twenty, 0:20:54.720 --> 0:21:00.439 and there was nothing could have could have inter feared 0:21:00.560 --> 0:21:04.320 with my feelings about my own voice. So I don't 0:21:04.320 --> 0:21:05.199 know what your question was. 0:21:05.240 --> 0:21:08.960 Now, Well, okay, well you felt that voice to be successful. 0:21:09.000 --> 0:21:13.080 In the world of entertainment, talent, is it most fifty percent. 0:21:13.840 --> 0:21:20.040 The other fifty percent is dry and need, etc. So 0:21:20.240 --> 0:21:24.960 where did that drive and need come from? 0:21:25.119 --> 0:21:30.119 I think I don't seize myself as ambitious, and I 0:21:30.160 --> 0:21:33.040 think it's probably because I didn't have to be. I 0:21:33.119 --> 0:21:37.040 had to get ambitious enough to keep going when the 0:21:37.280 --> 0:21:40.399 career fell apart. And that's all in the film is 0:21:40.480 --> 0:21:45.320 pretty clear. But at the beginning, my idea of the 0:21:45.359 --> 0:21:49.840 future was the following Wednesday. You know I didn't have 0:21:50.000 --> 0:21:52.760 Some kid asked me once I was about seventeen, I 0:21:52.800 --> 0:21:55.600 thought I was going to be famous, and I hadn't 0:21:55.600 --> 0:21:58.359 even thought about it. It seemed like a fun idea. 0:21:58.440 --> 0:22:00.679 Once he said it, I didn't me. I thought that 0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:05.480 would be kind of cool. And once I was seeing 0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:09.239 any chiatrist when I was twenty, and I told him 0:22:09.240 --> 0:22:11.080 I'd had a dream that I was singing with Harry 0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:14.119 Bellafai and he said, don't you think you're having delusions 0:22:14.200 --> 0:22:14.879 in grandeur? 0:22:15.280 --> 0:22:19.760 And I said, no, that begs the question. Did you 0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:21.359 ever sing with Harry Bellefanie? 0:22:21.480 --> 0:22:25.320 Yes? I did, Yeah, I did on Marches. Yeah, what 0:22:25.520 --> 0:22:26.360 a wonderful guy. 0:22:27.680 --> 0:22:31.520 Okay, so your family moves to Boston. How do you 0:22:31.680 --> 0:22:33.560 end up playing at club forty seven. 0:22:34.680 --> 0:22:37.720 Well, I have to say, good old Dad took his 0:22:38.520 --> 0:22:42.080 three daughters and his wife into Cambridge because he'd seen 0:22:43.440 --> 0:22:48.720 with his own eyes these coffee shops and he knew that, 0:22:49.000 --> 0:22:51.520 you know, I was starting to play guitar and starting 0:22:51.560 --> 0:22:54.240 to learn folk music. And he took us into Cambridge, 0:22:54.520 --> 0:22:57.320 and he took us into the Harbor Square. He walked around. 0:22:57.760 --> 0:22:59.919 I remember looking in the door of one of these 0:23:00.040 --> 0:23:05.280 coffee shops sing a guy playing guitar, singing, sitting under 0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:09.159 his yellow light. Everybody's smoking, and all these students, you know, 0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:14.720 discussing whatever, and that kind of was. It was a bingo, 0:23:15.240 --> 0:23:19.840 you know. That's what I wanted to do. I wanted 0:23:19.880 --> 0:23:22.080 to go and beg every song off of him and 0:23:22.200 --> 0:23:26.960 everybody I knew, everybody I met, and have them teach me, 0:23:27.760 --> 0:23:28.639 teach me the guitar. 0:23:30.000 --> 0:23:33.960 Okay, So what happened first the learning process? Did you 0:23:34.080 --> 0:23:36.359 would shed for a while or at what point did 0:23:36.440 --> 0:23:38.840 you get up on stage and then perform for others? 0:23:39.760 --> 0:23:46.080 Oh? Very fast, Because I was eighteen or nineteen at Newport, 0:23:47.760 --> 0:23:53.080 I had already sung. I sang this thing for the Shriners. 0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:55.639 I mean I would go where somebody said, hey, I 0:23:55.720 --> 0:23:58.000 was sixteen. I'm in high school. So and so wanted 0:23:58.000 --> 0:23:59.720 you to come and sing for their class. Okay, I 0:23:59.880 --> 0:24:02.359 go singing to their class. Some of his dad was 0:24:02.440 --> 0:24:04.600 with the Shriners. They wanted me to come and sing 0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:09.040 with the Shriners. And I went and I sang in 0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:12.879 his drunken old shriner came over and he said, honey, 0:24:13.800 --> 0:24:14.920 don't sign cheap. 0:24:17.160 --> 0:24:19.640 It's that great phenomenal. 0:24:20.920 --> 0:24:21.960 That was really funny. 0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:26.880 Yeah, okay, was your first public outing club forty seven 0:24:26.960 --> 0:24:28.560 or did you play another clubs before that? 0:24:29.640 --> 0:24:32.320 No, that was the first one and almost the only one. 0:24:32.440 --> 0:24:35.400 I mean it was became home and I started off 0:24:35.600 --> 0:24:38.159 on every two I think it was every Tuesday, and 0:24:38.240 --> 0:24:40.879 had ten dollars. That was a big deal. Then they 0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:44.280 added a probably it was Tuesdays and Fridays. Then it 0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:47.600 went up to fifteen dollars, and I really felt he 0:24:47.720 --> 0:24:51.280 felt like a rich girl. And I had had two jobs. 0:24:51.359 --> 0:24:55.040 I had had one job at Boston Vespa company, where 0:24:55.080 --> 0:24:57.439 I taught people how to drive vestpro. 0:24:58.640 --> 0:25:00.879 So I had to if you're driving investment was did 0:25:00.960 --> 0:25:01.679 you ever crash? 0:25:02.359 --> 0:25:05.440 Yes? I did once, but it was on a motorcycle. 0:25:05.480 --> 0:25:07.840 It was on a little tiny, stupid motorcycle. But yes, 0:25:07.960 --> 0:25:10.359 I did fall over once as on my way to 0:25:10.440 --> 0:25:13.520 my psychiatrist, and I told what happened. He said, are 0:25:13.560 --> 0:25:19.480 you crazy? That's a stupid question. Anyway, where did I 0:25:19.800 --> 0:25:20.840