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Speaker 1: All right, Another thing I want to talk about in

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Speaker 1: dating and relationships and marriage and even friendships, I guess money.

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Speaker 1: People will talk about sex, people will talk about the

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Speaker 1: most personal of topics, but they don't talk about money.

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Speaker 1: It's a taboo. Your life partner may not know how

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Speaker 1: much money you make. Certainly, someone you're dating and you've

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Speaker 1: said I love you too, might not know how much

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Speaker 1: money you have. And I think it's a very important

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Speaker 1: topic because people get together and don't know where the

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Speaker 1: comfort level lies, don't know what the other person is

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Speaker 1: comfortable spending what they're comfortable spending on. One person could

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Speaker 1: have no problem spending on stocks or phishing gear, and

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Speaker 1: another person really likes to spend on hotel rooms and restaurants.

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Speaker 1: Like money is a very big topic. Take someone like me,

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Speaker 1: for example, I've been with many different types of men.

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Speaker 1: I've supported men, I've dated men who I know are

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Speaker 1: not at my financial level, who I have to hesitate

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Speaker 1: before buying something at a counter at a drug store

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Speaker 1: because I'm spending a couple hundred dollars on something and

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Speaker 1: I feel like, wait, are they going to feel like

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Speaker 1: they have to pay for me now? And it can

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Speaker 1: be very awkward. And very uncomfortable. I've had a situation

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Speaker 1: where I'm going to go away with someone where I

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Speaker 1: don't know whether I'm supposed to pay for the hotel

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Speaker 1: or not, and they're supposed to pay for the incidentals,

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Speaker 1: or whether I'm going to go away with someone and

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Speaker 1: they're supposed to book the air travel or what they

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Speaker 1: think or who's supposed to pay for it? Or what

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Speaker 1: about if you bring someone out with a bunch of

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Speaker 1: your friends and the check comes. What if you bring

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Speaker 1: someone out with your parents, but you're a grown adult,

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Speaker 1: you're forty five, and the check comes, Like is your

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Speaker 1: part are supposed to pay? Like?

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Speaker 2: What are the rules of engagement?

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Speaker 1: And people just get in their head what it's supposed

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Speaker 1: to be and what it's not supposed to be. What

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Speaker 1: level of a gift is someone supposed to get? How

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Speaker 1: much is someone supposed to spend on you? And what

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Speaker 1: does that mean? Are they supposed to spend on flowers?

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Speaker 1: Are they supposed to buy jewelry? If it's a man,

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Speaker 1: what are you supposed to spend on them? Are you

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Speaker 1: supposed to go over your skis? Are you supposed to overextend?

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Speaker 1: Are you spending more on them? Because they've spent more

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Speaker 1: on you. What happens if you're thinking about possibly marrying

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Speaker 1: this person, Like, what would it look like?

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Speaker 2: What if the.

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Speaker 1: Person has been left a home from their parents, and

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Speaker 1: what if they want you to move in? But what

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Speaker 1: if you have a flare for design and you're going

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Speaker 1: to add a ton of value, but you don't own

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Speaker 1: any of that place? Like all of these things sound

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Speaker 1: like nothing, but they're not nothing because the number one

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Speaker 1: reason that relationships don't work is because of money. So

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Speaker 1: it has to be taken seriously and it's a real thing,

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Speaker 1: not unlike sex. Someone doesn't do enough for a place.

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Speaker 1: Someone does much for a place. Someone likes toys. Someone

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Speaker 1: can't get an orgasm unless they use a toy. Someone

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Speaker 1: can't have an orgasm during sex, but they can during

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Speaker 1: oral sex. Someone doesn't want oral sex at all. They

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Speaker 1: don't like it. Someone has liked I but doesn't like it.

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Speaker 1: With you, you need a compass. Don't talk about sex during sex.

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Speaker 1: Don't talk about sex in bed because nothing will kill

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Speaker 1: the mood like that, But talk about sex when you're

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Speaker 1: on a car ride.

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Speaker 2: Just like with kids.

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Speaker 1: You will talk about something to kids and you'll say,

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Speaker 1: how is school or how's it going with the boy,

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Speaker 1: And they won't say a word. Then you'll just be

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Speaker 1: in a random situation at a meal or during a

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Speaker 1: car ride or talking about something different or laying on

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Speaker 1: the couch, and then they'll just spill. They'll spill. That's

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Speaker 1: how it should be, too. Like you're talking to your

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Speaker 1: partner about something. It might come up in an unsuspected place.

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Speaker 1: It might be just on a beach walk. So if

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Speaker 1: it's something you're thinking about it, and if it's something that's

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Speaker 1: important to you, and if it matters at all to you,

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Speaker 1: then it matters and you need to talk about it

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Speaker 1: and not when you're wearing a ring like you're not

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Speaker 1: gonna like wish a problem away. You need to talk

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Speaker 1: about things that matter. You need to talk about you, geography,

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Speaker 1: You need to talk about religion. You need to talk

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Speaker 1: about therapy. You need to talk about money. You need

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Speaker 1: to talk about sex. You need to talk about parenting.

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Speaker 1: You need to talk about private school versus public school.

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Speaker 2: You need to talk.

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Speaker 1: About in laws and parents and how people are involved.

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Speaker 1: And our parents stop by your house parents or are

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Speaker 1: they formal and they feel like they need to call

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Speaker 1: you to stop by. If somebody got sick. Are your

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Speaker 1: parents moving in with you? If your parents just think

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Speaker 1: that at a certain age they should move in with you,

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Speaker 1: do you need to talk about child's care? Does your

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Speaker 1: partner not believe you should have a housekeeper ever? Do

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Speaker 1: they believe you should never have a baby nurse? Do

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Speaker 1: they want their mother to come move in with you

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Speaker 1: to take care of your kid? All this shit matters,

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Speaker 1: and people are so taboo about it. People will overshare

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Speaker 1: so many things, but they won't overshare in the things

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Speaker 1: that you need to overshare about. And it's not what,

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Speaker 1: it's how you must talk about it, but how to

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Speaker 1: couch it, how to frost it, how to dip it in.

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Speaker 1: You're going to find a way to talk about it

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Speaker 1: so it's real smooth and slides right into the conversation. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I want to talk again about this topic that keeps

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Speaker 1: coming up in different ways. It keeps presenting itself, and

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Speaker 1: it is men dating younger women. And now that I

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Speaker 1: have embarked on a very successful, proven dating concept, I

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Speaker 1: have institutional knowledge about this topic. I can speak with

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Speaker 1: great authority on this topic. And women just flippantly say

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Speaker 1: men they all want younger women, and they say that

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Speaker 1: for a couple of reasons.

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Speaker 2: One they believe it.

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Speaker 1: Two they sort of stuff it to the side so

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Speaker 1: they themselves don't have to deal with either looking better,

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Speaker 1: trying harder, actually dating. They get to sit on the

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Speaker 1: sidelines to just say, men are pieces of shit that

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Speaker 1: only want to date younger women, and they get to

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Speaker 1: like protect themselves from having to go out there and

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Speaker 1: do the work.

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Speaker 2: And it's hard work.

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Speaker 1: And I've met women who have said I don't want

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Speaker 1: to meet anyone. I love being alone. And while they

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Speaker 1: mean it in many cases, not in every case. In

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Speaker 1: some cases they're saying that because it means they don't.

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Speaker 2: Have to deal with it.

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Speaker 1: It means it's like a self preservation technique, Like they

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Speaker 1: don't have to be afraid of whether someone wants them

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Speaker 1: doesn't want them. They just don't even want to get

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Speaker 1: up to bed. So sorry to disappoint those women. But men, okay,

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Speaker 1: I have personally for examples of men, and I'm more

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Speaker 1: shocked than you would even be of men that I've

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Speaker 1: either met or dated or no one in my past

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Speaker 1: or I'm being very specific about how I describe this.

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Speaker 1: Who have money, are successful, all the cliches, okay, and

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Speaker 1: this is my personal experience. Not to mention all the

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Speaker 1: people in this dating pool, but in my personal experience,

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Speaker 1: four men. I'm thinking of one off the top of

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Speaker 1: my head who's in a relationship with someone significantly younger,

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Speaker 1: who said I should have ended up with you.

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Speaker 2: Actually five of them.

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Speaker 1: Another one was with someone twenty five years younger, the

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Speaker 1: hottest young woman, and he was like, I should have

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Speaker 1: taken you more seriously, like or people that are now

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Speaker 1: pursuing me. And I'm sitting there going I could be

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Speaker 1: this person's easily their mother.

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Speaker 2: Easily their mother.

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Speaker 1: And these guys are saying to me, now listen, I'm fun,

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Speaker 1: I'm successful, I'm interesting, I'm in good shape, whatever.

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Speaker 2: But I'm finding this in this dating concept.

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Speaker 1: Too, a lot of men going around in circles and

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Speaker 1: then coming back to the nest and being like the references,

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Speaker 1: the intelligence, the depth, the being interesting. Now, this doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean that if you you're not being somewhat superficial and

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Speaker 1: making an effort to look good and working on your

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Speaker 1: body and what you're where, like putting good perfume on.

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Speaker 1: Like I can lead a horse to water, I cannot

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Speaker 1: make a drink. I cannot tell you that a man

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Speaker 1: doesn't want a woman who's not only smart and funny

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Speaker 1: but attractive, Like I can't. I'm not gonna lie to you.

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Speaker 1: You better fucking come correct. If you're in your fifties

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Speaker 1: and you have three kids in your divorced and you

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Speaker 1: want to meet a man, and that man is wealthy

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Speaker 1: and can get a girl who's forty or thirty five, like.

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Speaker 2: Of course he's gonna go through that phase.

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Speaker 1: He's gonna want to try, he's gonna hope because what

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Speaker 1: happens is men and women who date younger people, they

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Speaker 1: think that that's what they look like. When a man

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Speaker 1: is dating a young, hot model, by looking at her

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Speaker 1: and by being with her, he thinks that that's what

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Speaker 1: he looks like. Now, if you take a tall you

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Speaker 1: take Shaquille O'Neill, and you take Snooky next to each other,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be more drastic, and he's going to

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Speaker 1: look even taller and she's going to look even smaller. Okay,

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Speaker 1: if you take a woman who's hot and young and

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Speaker 1: you put her next to an old, older man, he's

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Speaker 1: going to look older and she's going to look younger

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Speaker 1: in comparison. It just works in every way, and no

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Speaker 1: one thinks about this, and a man thinks he's going

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Speaker 1: to look younger by being with a younger woman. And

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Speaker 1: I always say, you pay the bill on the way

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Speaker 1: in or.

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Speaker 2: The way out.

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Speaker 1: You decide, okay, whether she's going to be spooning him

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Speaker 1: oatmeal later, whether it's the guy that I loved in

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Speaker 1: my twenties that is now going to be seventy, And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, ooh, I could have been married to him,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not judging anyone's age. I could have been

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Speaker 1: very happy with him, and he's seventy years old. But

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Speaker 1: still I don't know that right now I would date

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Speaker 1: a seventy year old.

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Speaker 2: So you pay on the way in or the way.

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Speaker 1: Out, and that has to be thought of the man

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Speaker 1: who I see, who's fifty six, who's with a thirty

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Speaker 1: two year old? To me, he looks older, he looks desperate,

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Speaker 1: he looks insecure, he looks tragic.

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Speaker 2: Now that's a blanket statement.

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Speaker 1: There are people with people younger, and it's fine, and

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Speaker 1: it does work sometimes, and I have data people younger.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking like drastic difference.

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Speaker 2: These men.

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Speaker 1: They then they go through the phase, the fuck around

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Speaker 1: and find out phase, and then they're like Wait, she

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Speaker 1: doesn't understand any of my references, or like the music

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Speaker 1: or the way I feel, or that my friends are dying,

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Speaker 1: or that people have body aches, or that people are

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Speaker 1: going through menopause or got a hysterectomy, or that my

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Speaker 1: balls are dropping, or I can't get it up as

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Speaker 1: much as I used to. Whatever these things are, These

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Speaker 1: are realistic things. Age is not a fucking number. It

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Speaker 1: is a fact, as I keep saying. But I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: dive deeper and deeper into this because I keep getting

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Speaker 1: more examples. I'm astounded by men coming after me. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you a fucking thirty five year old who's in love

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Speaker 1: with you and she's gorgeous, What.

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Speaker 2: Are you doing with me?

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Speaker 1: Like, I honestly don't even know, but I do actually

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Speaker 1: understand it. I would say, I don't understand it, but

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Speaker 1: I do understand it, because we're all just human.

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Speaker 2: You can't assign a brain, a life.

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Speaker 1: A purpose, an identity, and a value to a number

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Speaker 1: to an age like you can't just be like, you're

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Speaker 1: hot and you're young, and yes you may be smart.

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna assign a life of experiences to your body.

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Speaker 1: Have you traveled? Do you speak languages, what do you like?

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm saying? Do you know who

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Speaker 1: the fucking begs are? It's just it doesn't mean it's

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Speaker 1: right or wrong. It just means it's like your own pool,

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Speaker 1: your own essence. So don't get caught up in that shit.

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Speaker 1: But bring your fucking game correct, Okay, Because yeah, if

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Speaker 1: you're divorced with three kids and you want to go

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Speaker 1: out with a fifty five year old, good looking, wealthy man,

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Speaker 1: he's got the option, he's got the menu of a

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Speaker 1: younger man, and you do with younger men.

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Speaker 2: But it's not the same, and we all know it's

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Speaker 2: not the same.

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Speaker 1: So pull your shit together and come intellectually, emotionally, physically correct.

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Speaker 2: And be fun and be alive.

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Speaker 1: If you're miserable and bitter and you're coming into this

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Speaker 1: thinking that the world owes you something and that men

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Speaker 1: are just assholes because they choose to go out with

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Speaker 1: young women, then you're not the right person for this thing. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you're right if you come and you're like, I'm confident,

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Speaker 1: I'm fun, I'm alive, I'm sexy, I'm flirty, I'm smart,

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Speaker 1: I'm entertaining, i am caring, compassionate.

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Speaker 2: I'm a good parent.

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Speaker 1: If you're a parent, I'm a good person, and I

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Speaker 1: bring something to the fucking table. I have purpose. I

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Speaker 1: have something that I have to do somewhere that I

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Speaker 1: have to be. Something I add value to, something I'm

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Speaker 1: helping with. I volunteer. I'm good at sports. Going to Lululemon,

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Speaker 1: buying a workout outfit, getting a latte, exercising, and buying

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Speaker 1: a Chanelle bag is not a purpose or a skill set.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that is not it.

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Speaker 1: That can and also you could be hot and that

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Speaker 1: could last for six months to a year, to three

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Speaker 1: years to five years. You have the kid, you have

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Speaker 1: the next kid. Things move quickly and you can like

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Speaker 1: get away with a lot. But the minute the lights

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Speaker 1: go on and someone realizes that you've been hiding behind

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Speaker 1: purposes that aren't defined by just like you, not attached

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Speaker 1: to another being that you're taking care of, not attached

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Speaker 1: to an item that you're buying, attached to like what

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Speaker 1: you bring value to. That's what men are interested in.

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Speaker 1: And you better fucking believe it, because I'm not stuttering. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So j Lo has been alone for a minute that

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Speaker 1: we know of, and she's reflecting on her relationship with

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Speaker 1: Ben and all her relationships because she seemingly is doing

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Speaker 1: things differently and doesn't want it to be public as

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Speaker 1: much as it used to be. And she loves love,

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Speaker 1: so she couldn't help sharing the love, sharing the letters,

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Speaker 1: sharing the relationships, sharing all the information on the reality

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Speaker 1: show or the documentary, which I get. So now she's

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Speaker 1: on Howard Stern and he says, did she think any

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Speaker 1: of them truly loved her? About all of her men?

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Speaker 1: And I think she might have five rings. I think

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Speaker 1: she might have more rings than Tom Brady. And she said, no,

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Speaker 1: it's not that she's not lovable, it's that they weren't capable.

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Speaker 2: And I don't think she realized what she was saying.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think she did, but she kind of

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Speaker 1: thought like she was giving them a hall pass to

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Speaker 1: that they just couldn't do it because they didn't have

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Speaker 1: the emotional capacity. But they're amazing people and like almost

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Speaker 1: like you can't ask a.

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Speaker 2: Dog to be a cat.

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Speaker 1: So then she would be criticizing herself for the way

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Speaker 1: she chooses and her picker, which I also get, But

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Speaker 1: it would be very difficult to believe that all five

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Speaker 1: men that she chose like successful, wealthy men that she

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Speaker 1: chose all five are incapable of love. That just sounds preposterous,

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Speaker 1: Like that sounds far fat. I don't know how you

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Speaker 1: could say that all the men that were with you

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Speaker 1: were all incapable of love. It just doesn't even see

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Speaker 1: mathematically plausible or correct. And I just don't know if

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Speaker 1: that's not taking accountability on your own, even for just

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Speaker 1: like the choices or choosing the wrong combination, or the

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Speaker 1: lifestyle hundreds of hours of glam and travel and perfection

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Speaker 1: and paparazzi, and I have knowledge about this life. I

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Speaker 1: live in the corners, not even the far corners.

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Speaker 2: Of this life.

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Speaker 1: I don't roll as deep as like a Kim Kardashian

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Speaker 1: or j Lo as it pertains to the number of

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Speaker 1: forward facing things that I will agree to. Like just today,

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Speaker 1: I was offered some big TV opportunity, but it involved

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Speaker 1: me getting up at four o'clock in the morning, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I just love my health and my well

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Speaker 1: being more than that six figure number, because I don't

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Speaker 1: want to get up at three thirty in the morning

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Speaker 1: to do this thing on TV. I just don't because

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Speaker 1: I want to feel healthy and happy and there's no

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Speaker 1: number that can make me wake up in the morning

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Speaker 1: at three o'clock to do hair and makeup when it

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Speaker 1: will involve me being away from my daughter, when I've

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Speaker 1: been traveling a lot, when I want to feel healthy

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Speaker 1: and sane and happy and together and present and loving

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Speaker 1: so like. But if I was someone who took every

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Speaker 1: nickel and went to every amazing event that I'm invited to,

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Speaker 1: it would be not stop. And I just think that

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Speaker 1: that's a very hard relationship dynamic to be in, having

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Speaker 1: experienced it. Okay, so I started seeing someone from my past.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm dating, I'm open, I'm dating, and i have

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Speaker 1: a dynamic about myself that I've recognized that I don't

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Speaker 1: know how many of you do this, have done this,

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Speaker 1: have experienced this. I have a toxic trait, a pattern

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Speaker 1: or something that draws this to me where certain men

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Speaker 1: decide that I'm their person. They decide, and because of

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Speaker 1: how strongly they've decided this, I just sort of aimlessly

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Speaker 1: wander into it because it's an orbit that is intoxicating

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Speaker 1: and so flattering, and it feels like it's going to

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Speaker 1: save you and make all your dreams come true. So

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Speaker 1: I can say this because he passed away, and he's

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Speaker 1: one of many times as has happened. But Dennis, my

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Speaker 1: ex who passed away, loved me for years and years

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Speaker 1: and years without me really realizing it. Meaning the first

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Speaker 1: time I ever realized it for sure was I overheard

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Speaker 1: him talking to two people the first time we ever.

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Speaker 1: We didn't even really go out out, we just went

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Speaker 1: out as friends after all these years, and he used

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Speaker 1: to say all these things to me, and I heard

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Speaker 1: him in the other room when they asked him, how

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Speaker 1: do you know Bethany, And he said, I've been in

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Speaker 1: love with it for thirty years or thirty two years

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Speaker 1: or something, and I was like what.

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Speaker 2: I didn't believe him.

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Speaker 1: And over the years he had always reached out to

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Speaker 1: me and said such incredible things to me. He was

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Speaker 1: intrigued by me for years. He later said he felt

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Speaker 1: that he had thought of me for years, felt connected

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Speaker 1: to me for years, and at the time that we

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Speaker 1: got together and he pursued me, he basically professed his

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Speaker 1: undying love for me. And I was shocked because it

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Speaker 1: was so sudden for me because I had known him

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Speaker 1: for so long, but he had assigned everything he felt

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Speaker 1: about me onto me, as if I was going to

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Speaker 1: be at his pace, and this happens to me. This

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Speaker 1: is a recurring thing that happens to me. It's so

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Speaker 1: intoxicating how much someone loves me and how well someone

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Speaker 1: would treat me, does treat me, and how they feel

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Speaker 1: about me that I have a very difficult time ascertaining

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Speaker 1: what I feel about it, because part of what I

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Speaker 1: love about it is how much the person loves me

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Speaker 1: versus it being a baseline decision of okay, let me stop,

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Speaker 1: let me think about what I'm looking for and does

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Speaker 1: this person fit everything?

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Speaker 2: And you know, as.

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Speaker 1: We get older and as I guess, the options are fewer,

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Speaker 1: which I haven't really felt that because I've never had

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Speaker 1: a shortage, but it's still different, and there are people

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Speaker 1: that wouldn't go out with me because of my age.

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Speaker 1: I mean, these are facts. Age is not just a number.

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Speaker 1: Age is a fact. As I've gotten older, different things

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Speaker 1: have been attractive to me. And someone who does want

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Speaker 1: to love and take care of you and dote on

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Speaker 1: you is very attractive. And in fact, I did fall

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Speaker 1: in love with Dennis because of it, Like I don't

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Speaker 1: know that he was a great love of my life,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't know that I was madly in love

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Speaker 1: with him, but I loved him like I was connected

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Speaker 1: to him, and part of him loving me so much

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Speaker 1: was the reason. So it's a difficult thing to separate

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Speaker 1: the two. And you know, people always say you should

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Speaker 1: find someone who loves you more than you love them,

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Speaker 1: like it does hurt to be like grasping and clamoring

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Speaker 1: for someone who kind of doesn't have it for you

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Speaker 1: quite the same way. And some people want to be

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Speaker 1: the doter the lover. Some people are comfortable in that position.

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Speaker 1: Some people want to like shower the other person with

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Speaker 1: everything and women and men, and some people aren't comfortable

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Speaker 1: with receiving it. Some people want to give it. Some

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Speaker 1: people are more comfortable with receiving it. Some people don't

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Speaker 1: want to receive it. They don't love them selves enough,

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Speaker 1: they don't value themselves enough, they find it to be

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Speaker 1: a turn enough, they find it to be an ick.

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Speaker 1: So I'm navigating all of those things, you know. I

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Speaker 1: know I want things to be more easy to go around,

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Speaker 1: and I know I want to be loved and to

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Speaker 1: feel loved, and I don't have a family, and I

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Speaker 1: want family, but I want to make sure that I

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Speaker 1: get into a car that I fully want to get into,

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Speaker 1: not just because of how much someone is presenting the

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Speaker 1: car or telling me how great the car is for them,

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Speaker 1: or how much you know the person is in love

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Speaker 1: with me or positive that I'm their person. I have

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Speaker 1: to make my own decisions for myself. You can't love

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Speaker 1: someone just because of how much they love you want

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Speaker 1: to wat to the coasts turn