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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dim here. If you like this

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Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot

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Speaker 1: fm to get started.

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her space.

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Speaker 1: You know, and when times are rough, or stressful or

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Speaker 1: just unpleasant, this is one way that you can cope.

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Speaker 1: This is like a healthy coping strategy is to like

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Speaker 1: step back and take a trip down to the fun

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Speaker 1: parts of memory lane. We fully recognize and acknowledge that

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Speaker 1: some of us have all of us have parts of

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Speaker 1: our past that are unpleasant and that we're working to

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Speaker 1: heal from. But every now and then it is good

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Speaker 1: for our spirit to take a trip to the fun times.

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Speaker 2: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 2: or even a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA

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Speaker 2: moments or if you feel comforted throughout the episode, lady,

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Speaker 2: Please leave us a review and tell us what we're

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Speaker 2: doing right so we can stay on track. Also, we

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Speaker 2: release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe on

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Speaker 2: iTunes and visit her space podcast dot com and enter

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Speaker 2: your email address to get updates about our live events

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Speaker 2: and all the new beginnings that we have for this year.

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Speaker 1: Than Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 1: women like you. We're your hosts, Doctor Dominique Broussard, a

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Speaker 1: college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and a motivational speaker. In

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Speaker 2: a world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood,

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Speaker 2: please join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything

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Speaker 2: from fibroids to fake friends, and create a safe space

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Speaker 2: where black women can just be Hey girl. Hey, it's

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Speaker 2: Terry here from the Heirspace podcast. Every Wednesday, I release

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Speaker 2: a Wisdom Wednesday mini episode that'll give you the quick

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Speaker 2: boost you need to get you through hump day. Visit

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Speaker 2: herspacepodcast dot com and click the Wisdom Wednesday with terrylink

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Speaker 2: under start here to get your weekly gems. I hope

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Speaker 2: to see you there, Okay. Our quote of the day.

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Speaker 1: We're calling days of sadness memories haunt me, we're calling

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Speaker 1: days of happiness. I haunt my memories. Unknown, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I haunt my memories. See you haunt your memories.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I see what the person was trying to

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Speaker 2: do with that quote. I think it's worded in an

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Speaker 2: interesting way. But when I think, I don't know, I

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Speaker 2: don't know. That's an interesting one. That's an interesting quote.

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Speaker 2: But I think I get what it's saying, right, Like

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Speaker 2: when you think of your moments of sadness, what is

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Speaker 2: it again again?

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Speaker 1: When you have so recalling days of sadness, memories haunt me? Which, yes,

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Speaker 1: that part makes sense. That like when you think about

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Speaker 1: the things that are sad or traumatic or just unpleasant,

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Speaker 1: those things could haunt you. They just follow you, They

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Speaker 1: sit with you, and sit with you in an unpleasant,

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Speaker 1: unhappy way, recalling days of happiness. I haunt my memories.

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Speaker 1: So it's almost to me. I take that to mean

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Speaker 1: I'm like sitting in my memories. I'm dwelling in them,

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Speaker 1: like the good stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yes, like I'm the way I see it. When the

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Speaker 2: way that you said it, right, it makes me think

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Speaker 2: about you taking back your memory. So I'm choosing the

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Speaker 2: perspectives that I'm going to have. Maybe I'm not going

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Speaker 2: to focus on the sadness that I'm going to focus

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Speaker 2: on how I want to remember them and the good

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Speaker 2: times that I remember, right, Yeah, that's an interesting quote.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So today we're going down memory lane and we're

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Speaker 1: talking about what it means to be like an eighties,

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Speaker 1: nineties baby, kid, teenage or whatever, just growing up coming

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Speaker 1: of age in the eighties, nineties and two thousands.

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Speaker 2: And the two thousands. You can't forget about this. I

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Speaker 2: can't because here's the way I looking at now. We

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Speaker 2: have talked about so many topics in season five. We're

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Speaker 2: currently in season five and I feel like we kicked

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Speaker 2: off the year talking about creating a twenty twenty digital

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Speaker 2: We talked about so many topics that will have you

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Speaker 2: go within. So whether you are introspecting on your finances

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Speaker 2: or your vision for your life right, or receiving feedback

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Speaker 2: or any of those things, they could be heavy topics

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Speaker 2: that caused you to do some work on yourself. And

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Speaker 2: it's not always.

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Speaker 1: Easy, right, And we're going down because we're doing this introspections.

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Speaker 1: It for some of us it may be forcing us

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Speaker 1: to go down memory lane. Like I think about our

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Speaker 1: episode on toxicity and you and I kind of recall

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Speaker 1: some things from our past and maybe present. Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: that forced us to look at ourselves right and do

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Speaker 1: some hard work. But going down memory lane and doing

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Speaker 1: the hard looking at the hard stuff doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: be what we always do, right. We can go down

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Speaker 1: memory line and.

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Speaker 2: Look at the happy times. So today we're going.

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Speaker 1: To focus on a happy time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm excited about this topic because I feel

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Speaker 2: like I get so giddy when I think about the

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Speaker 2: past and certain good things about my upbringing and just

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Speaker 2: the memories. And I feel like the vibe in the eighties,

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Speaker 2: nineties and the two thousands, it was a special vibe.

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Speaker 2: Like I sometimes feel like I'm low key obsessed with

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Speaker 2: those memories in that time because there were just so

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Speaker 2: many good times. I think about my siblings and when

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Speaker 2: we get together today and we look back at old

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Speaker 2: family memories, we talk about the old times. I think

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Speaker 2: about my grandmother when she was here, she would always

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Speaker 2: reminisce on the old times. And so I don't know,

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Speaker 2: nostalgic is so nostalgic right when you think about all

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Speaker 2: those memories, the experiences, the things that made you who

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Speaker 2: you are. Special.

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Speaker 1: It really is, and I think you know, there's science

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Speaker 1: behind it that kind of speaks to how we look

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Speaker 1: at our memories, right, And there are some articles out

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Speaker 1: there that say that the things that we remember, some

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Speaker 1: of it is kind of not factual, right, And to

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Speaker 1: me that makes sense that Like when I think about

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Speaker 1: sensation and perception and I think about how we encode memories,

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Speaker 1: we're encoding memories from how we're taking it in, and

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Speaker 1: we're taking things in through our sight, through sound, through touch,

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Speaker 1: through taste, and through emotions. And so there may be

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Speaker 1: some things that we recall that in the moment made

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Speaker 1: us feel good, so our recollection of it. So first

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Speaker 1: of all, how it got stored in our memory may

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Speaker 1: look like A, and when we recall it it still

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Speaker 1: looks like A. But the reality of what happened in

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Speaker 1: that moment may look like THEE. And how someone else.

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Speaker 1: Because think about when you have sit down and you

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Speaker 1: reminisce about things with your siblings, you have recollection A

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Speaker 1: B is what really happened, and your sibling may have

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Speaker 1: recollection C. And so it doesn't all totally match up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I've heard that before. I've heard someone say

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Speaker 2: something like, every time you recall something from the past,

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Speaker 2: you change it slightly, and I get it. The thing is,

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Speaker 2: I'm not a scientist, but I will say part of

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Speaker 2: me is like, that's not true. I know what I remember,

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Speaker 2: and I feel like there are moments where I can't

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Speaker 2: remember certain details or the details will differ. Maybe my sibling.

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Speaker 1: Will say, well, wait, I remember it this way.

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Speaker 2: But there is usually a common ground about an experience.

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Speaker 2: But I think sometimes the minute details, we sort of

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Speaker 2: get them, you know, mixed up. But I say, let's

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Speaker 2: just go ahead and talk about the vibe because when

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Speaker 2: you think about that time, that was the time when

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Speaker 2: we didn't have social media. So although social media has

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Speaker 2: presented so many benefits to us, there was a time

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Speaker 2: when you had to engage with people. You had to

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Speaker 2: start conversation on your first day at school. You didn't

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Speaker 2: have a phone to dive into. You were looking at

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Speaker 2: people in the eyes. This is when we could play

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Speaker 2: outside all day until the street lights came on. Right.

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Speaker 2: This is when you could leave your door unlicked and

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Speaker 2: you didn't have to worry about anybody coming up into

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Speaker 2: your crib. Like you were just safe. It was good,

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Speaker 2: like it was just a different type of energy back then.

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Speaker 1: I feel myself being torn.

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Speaker 2: Why, right, what do you think? So?

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Speaker 1: I think because when you were talking about like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we could like leave our door open and no one

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Speaker 1: would like come in, Right, But then I also think

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Speaker 1: about and I know we want to focus on the

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Speaker 1: good stuff, but I think that's that's the real part

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Speaker 1: of memory sometimes is that I'm also aware that like

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Speaker 1: growing up in New Orleans, like the early nineties, New

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Speaker 1: Orleans was the murder capital, really, and so it wasn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily the safest place. But what I can recall from

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Speaker 1: my childhood isn't necessarily connected with more was not like

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Speaker 1: New Orleans being like one of the most dangerous cities

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Speaker 1: during that time period, right, And so I think that

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Speaker 1: for some of us, lady, as you're listening, depending on

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Speaker 1: where you grew up, if you think back to like

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Speaker 1: the eighties, nineties, and mostly eighties and nineties, if you

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Speaker 1: were growing up in the neighborhood that really wasn't safe, Like,

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Speaker 1: how did you still manage to find those pleasant memories?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Like how do you how are you or are you

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Speaker 1: able to look back and think about like the fun stuff, right,

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Speaker 1: because I could see where both exists, where you're like, well,

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Speaker 1: my neighborhood was probably one of the roughest neighborhoods in

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Speaker 1: the city, but I can recall those times where we

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Speaker 1: were outside playing hopscotch or playing double dutch.

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Speaker 2: Double dutch ain't my thing. Dutch real quick side little tangent.

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Speaker 2: I wonder if double dutch is connected to dancing, because

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Speaker 2: I know we both talk about how we dancing is

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Speaker 2: not our ministry even though we try, and I feel

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Speaker 2: like with double dutch, I always wanted to get it.

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Speaker 2: I probably hopped in a couple of times, just on

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Speaker 2: a fluke. But like I wonder, is that the coordination

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Speaker 2: is about coordinating okay, because I was like I can

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Speaker 2: never get goddamned double dutch. Okay, sorry, I can't either.

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Speaker 1: No, but that's one of the things too, Like that's

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Speaker 1: like thinking about like those fun things from childhood, Like

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Speaker 1: I double dutch was not my faith.

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Speaker 2: I have a theory down can we dive into, So

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Speaker 2: like what we're gonna do. We're gonna dive into different

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Speaker 2: aspects of childhood and different things that we remember as

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Speaker 2: far as like shows and experiences and music, and then

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Speaker 2: can we circle back on that question because I have

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Speaker 2: a theory, but I want to talk about these moments

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Speaker 2: first to see if it will like come full circle. Okay, yeah, yeah, Okay,

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Speaker 2: So we're gonna come back to that question, lady of

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Speaker 2: how do you remember the good times in the midst

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Speaker 2: of maybe a rough upbringing, or a bad neighborhood or

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Speaker 2: just unpleasant experiences? Okay, boom, okay, So let's talk about

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Speaker 2: just experiences in general. One thing I think about is,

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Speaker 2: I remember we were living in San Diego when I

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Speaker 2: was younger and I was in I had to be

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Speaker 2: in like middle school, and you remember how when you

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Speaker 2: wanted to talk to your friends and call your little

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Speaker 2: boyfriend or call your homegirls or whoever you were with

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Speaker 2: at that time, you had to use the house phone.

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Speaker 2: We had landlines, right and then if you were like

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Speaker 2: real old school, you didn't have the landline. That was

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Speaker 2: what was it wireless? You had that the cordless phone,

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Speaker 2: the cordless phone. You had that little curly wire. Am

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Speaker 2: I saying that?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: House? It was a wire. There's a cord, the curly cord.

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Speaker 2: That's a tongue tist. That's why the curly cord that

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Speaker 2: went along with it. But I remember when you used

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Speaker 2: to call your little boyfriend or girlfriend from school and

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Speaker 2: you'd be afraid that their parents might pick up. So

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Speaker 2: we used to my sister and I, we used to

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Speaker 2: call and sound like a boy to talk to the

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Speaker 2: little boy. And then we'd have this house like can

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Speaker 2: I talk to Terry like talking to girl boy?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: Wait, hold on, hold on. Did y'all not think that

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Speaker 2: your parents could tell the girl? They could? IM sure

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Speaker 2: they could tell, or maybe they could tell, Like, maybe

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Speaker 2: they could tell, and they would just letting y'all slide.

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Speaker 2: But here's the thing. One my family grew up in

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Speaker 2: the strict households that they were not about letting us slide.

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Speaker 2: But the other thing was we were at that age

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Speaker 2: where their voices weren't developed, so so they could have

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Speaker 2: probably talked in their regular voice and still got.

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Speaker 1: So this was before puberty, said it. Okay, I remember

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Speaker 1: speaking of telephone that I had to eventually get my

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Speaker 1: own phone line because I would be on the phone

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Speaker 1: so much I would tie up the phone line and

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Speaker 1: I had to get my own phone line because I

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Speaker 1: just was But that's how you knew we were like

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Speaker 1: slightly advanced. Yes, because I got my own phone line

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Speaker 1: in the house. And I say, my I'm sure if

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Speaker 1: you asked my siblings they would say, no, that was

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Speaker 1: for all of us. I know that.

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Speaker 2: So you had your own phone line. I'm trying to think,

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Speaker 2: like I know, me and my sister, we used to

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Speaker 2: we used to love being outside. Like we would be

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Speaker 2: outside all day. We would be outside on the corner,

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Speaker 2: you know, hanging out with our friends. We had a

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Speaker 2: friend named Michael who lived on the far corner. We

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Speaker 2: would go down there. We would be playing with like

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Speaker 2: Pokemon cards, we would play marbles like we were just

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Speaker 2: literally always outside doing stuff. We would always try to

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Speaker 2: save up money and go to the little Chinese corner

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Speaker 2: store and go get us some press on nails and

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Speaker 2: get our We had to press on nails. Girl. We

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Speaker 2: had that what is that goodie stuff called slime we say,

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Speaker 2: like the slime, and just always trying to go to

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Speaker 2: the store to get little random like knickknacks. You know.

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Speaker 1: See, y'all are kids. Y'all were kids that were like

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Speaker 1: maybe active. We would use our money to go to

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Speaker 1: the corner store to get junk food. We would go

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Speaker 1: and get now as an adult. I'm like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: can't believe what was I putting in my body. We

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Speaker 1: would go and get like pig feet, pick lips and

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Speaker 1: what now eat no parts of the pig.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's that south.

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Speaker 1: Or you'd get some like turkey necks, or then you

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Speaker 1: get candy and like so like you would go to

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Speaker 1: and that was a privilege at least for us to

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Speaker 1: be able to walk around, be allowed to leave the

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Speaker 1: block and walk around the corner to the corner store.

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Speaker 1: Or you would have to have your money with you

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Speaker 1: when you're coming home from the bus and you would

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Speaker 1: stop at the corner store on the way home. So

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Speaker 1: because you might not be allowed to go back around

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Speaker 1: that corner, but you made it inside.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. That

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Speaker 2: makes me think about when after church on Sundays we

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Speaker 2: would go to the corner store and get all kinds

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Speaker 2: of candy and snacks. So all the doritos, the funions,

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Speaker 2: never got the corner ships hot. The corner chips were

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Speaker 2: so nasty. The hot fry not the hot cheetos with

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Speaker 2: the hot fries. Yo, those hot fries were bomb. But

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Speaker 2: did you ever know about Lucas though you never tried Lucas.

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Speaker 2: I gotta go, you gotta. If you are not from

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know where else they so Lucas,

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Speaker 2: but I know for me, like it was a San

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Speaker 2: Diego thing. It's like a sweet and flour candy. It

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Speaker 2: comes and I'm going to show you a picture down.

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Speaker 2: I'm about to lady, google this really quick because if

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Speaker 2: you're not familiar, I want you to be able to

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Speaker 2: see what it is. So it was like these little things.

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Speaker 2: So there were packets of either like lollipops like the chili,

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Speaker 2: or they had this little Lucas. To me today as

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Speaker 2: an adult, it kind of reminds me of like a seasoning.

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Speaker 2: It was like this spicy seasoning, and girl, I used

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Speaker 2: to eat the whole freaking thing. That's not good that.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe that. Either that the spicy seasoning, or

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Speaker 2: there was like a liquid And you could also have

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Speaker 2: like a push up Lucas thing where you like push

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Speaker 2: the top up and all the just all that stuff

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Speaker 2: like ask kids.

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Speaker 1: We used to put some nest. Lady, if you have

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Speaker 1: googled this and you're looking this up, this looks gross

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Speaker 1: to me.

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Speaker 2: I can't even look like the big thing of seasoning

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Speaker 2: and it just does not look like something I would

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Speaker 2: want to eat.

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Speaker 1: But I guarantee you if I show this to my nieces,

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Speaker 1: they would.

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Speaker 2: Want byb be so they'd be down. So that was

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Speaker 2: one of the things we used to get. Of course

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Speaker 2: you got the Starburst, the Skittles all that. Yeah, those

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Speaker 2: are like classics. But yeah, girl, the candy that was

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Speaker 2: that was where it was at. That was.

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Speaker 1: Oh, now you're making me want to go and get

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Speaker 1: some Like in New Orleans we had Elmer's Chewie Oh,

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Speaker 1: and those chips came in different ways. I still when

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Speaker 1: I go home now, like, I still have to go

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Speaker 1: and get me a bag of Chewee's because those chips,

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Speaker 1: to me are just so good.

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Speaker 2: I've never even heard of that. Dim Okay, this is it. Yes,

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Speaker 2: New Orleans cheeee. I love that, lady.

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Speaker 1: If you're listening, as you're listening, google Elmer's chew Wie's like,

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Speaker 1: and actually I think you can like order them and

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Speaker 1: have them like ship tea. Really, but you know, really,

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Speaker 1: just take a trip to New Orleans and go and

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Speaker 1: enjoy it for yourself, you know.

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Speaker 2: But I'm sorry, but since you brought up New Orleans.

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Speaker 2: I got to talk about some of the Philly snacks

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Speaker 2: because Hilly is known for Oh my gosh, dom you

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Speaker 2: got me started. Philly is known for, at least in

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Speaker 2: the day, they.

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Speaker 1: Used to have bomb ass water ice, no water.

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Speaker 2: No Italian ice. No, you don't know this water you're

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Speaker 2: about to have. So this is just funny to me.

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Speaker 1: How how regional and how different names like we used to.

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Speaker 2: Have oh, water ices and cop yes, but in Philly

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Speaker 2: this is okay. So here's how it goes. You get

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Speaker 2: your water ice either from you can go to Rita's.

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Speaker 2: Oh I've heard you can either go to Ritas, or

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Speaker 2: you can go to the hoods about the hoods, it's

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Speaker 2: always better. So you get your water ice. But then

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Speaker 2: you got to get your pretzel with your water ice.

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Speaker 2: So the soft pretzel it goes with the water ice

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Speaker 2: like that's just you gotta have it together. Water ice.

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Speaker 2: That is a Philly thing right there.

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Speaker 1: Okay, see now you got me like water ice.

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Speaker 2: This is the kind of pretzel. So it's like a

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Speaker 2: braided pretzel. It's so soft, gots just salt, you're mustard

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Speaker 2: if you want, and then you could add on like

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Speaker 2: a Philly tasty cake, like a butterscotch crumpet, you know,

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Speaker 2: tasty cakes.

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Speaker 1: Need to make sure I could give me some tasty cakes.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, what in the world, Oh my gosh, but okay,

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Speaker 1: So then since you brought up water ice like in

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Speaker 1: New Orleans we had snowballs to me. Yeah yeah, so

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Speaker 1: then you depending on where you go, you could get

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Speaker 1: it like with condensed milk or like soft served ice

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Speaker 1: cream in the middle like and then you would go

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Speaker 1: if you go to the snowball stand. Then sometimes you

365
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Speaker 1: would go and you would get like nachos, or you

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Speaker 1: would get like a hot pickle, or like they would

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Speaker 1: just be they would just sell other stuff, but the

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Speaker 1: snowball was the thing to get. And again when I

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Speaker 1: still when I go home to visit, I still have

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Speaker 1: to get a snowball, like my list of I have

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Speaker 1: a list of foods that I get. Yeah, you almost

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Speaker 1: every time I go home, snowball if it's in season,

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Speaker 1: because they usually don't have it available in the winter time.

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Speaker 1: And then my chee wis and I usually have my

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Speaker 1: chewis with a poe boy and a dak or.

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Speaker 2: I love that. So you still get that even when

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Speaker 2: you go home. I feel like I usually get like

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00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,159
Speaker 2: the water ice and pretzel when I go home. I

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00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 2: used to get to the Philly cheese steaks. But I'm

380
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 2: not really into I'm not really eating meat right now,

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Speaker 2: but that was like that was my That was a

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Speaker 2: classic whenever I went home. It was like comfort food

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Speaker 2: for me because memory. Okay, so we don't talked about

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Speaker 2: the food. Yes, we didn't talked about the experiences. What

385
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,520
Speaker 2: are some of the shows and let's just go into

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Speaker 2: music that we listened to back then.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So now here is where even though you and

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Speaker 1: I were born in the same decade, yes, we have

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00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:42,919
Speaker 1: a difference in terms of because I was born at

390
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,800
Speaker 1: the beginning, you were born at the end. So we

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Speaker 1: have a difference in our like what is more nostalgic

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Speaker 1: force regarding music? I love nineties R and B. Okay,

393
00:20:56,119 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 1: so give me like in Bowld Tony Braxton, it's TLC

394
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 1: and so and even like Boys to Men, you know,

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Speaker 1: like Brian mcnight, Like my al time favorite is Maxwell,

396
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Speaker 1: but he came towards the ladder half and so. But

397
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:21,359
Speaker 1: nineties R and B early Mariah Carey, oh all like that,

398
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 1: Whitney Houston, like those are that's where on a random Saturday.

399
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Speaker 1: You know, if I'm just let me put on a

400
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 1: Pandora playlist is nineties R and B.

401
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Speaker 2: Okay, that is interesting too because I feel like my

402
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 2: younger years were in the nineties, right. I am more

403
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,440
Speaker 2: of a two thousands kid. So for me, my Pandora

404
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 2: playlist is like, yo, give me all the R and

405
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 2: B and hip hop from the two thousands. So you

406
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 2: got Neo, you got Nellie, you got Cisco, and then

407
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 2: of course I got to move to the gospel, right

408
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,479
Speaker 2: because you know, I was, y'all you gotta check out

409
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 2: in the past episodes, right, grew up in the church.

410
00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:00,159
Speaker 2: So I had Kirk Franklin, Fred Hammond, Hezekya Walker. You're

411
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 2: lyne to add them, like all the good gospel music.

412
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 2: Who else for the two thousands? So I'm trying to

413
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 2: think of who else I listened to. Obviously got Beyonce

414
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 2: and that's a new child. Now that's a new child.

415
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,360
Speaker 2: You have Black the Girl Group, Oh wow, Yeah, yeah,

416
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 2: you had three O W yes.

417
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Speaker 1: Seven O two seven O two.

418
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Speaker 2: Okay, you had like I'm thinking about Mario, just a

419
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 2: lot of different artists. The music was just so good

420
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 2: to me. Then it was just so good. Oh It's so.

421
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Speaker 1: Funny because I'm like, yeah, that music was good.

422
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got your ladies, damn. And the funny thing

423
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 2: is kids these days, I mean, well, now I see

424
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 2: why my grandmother used to always play old school because

425
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 2: even now I feel like such a like I feel

426
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 2: so outdated because I don't really listen to music these days.

427
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,440
Speaker 2: I don't listen to the music that's in. But on

428
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,880
Speaker 2: a Saturday when I'm cleaning, I'm going right to two thousands,

429
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 2: and it brings back those memories. And now I'm like, oh,

430
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 2: I see why my mom used to throw on her

431
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 2: old schools because it probably did the same thing for

432
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,119
Speaker 2: her exactly. So the kids these days, they'll be listening

433
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 2: to music from like twenty twenty. That's gonna seem so

434
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,399
Speaker 2: like odd to us, but it'll bring back memories to

435
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 2: them and where they were in their life, who they

436
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 2: were talking to, their friends, what they were up to. Right.

437
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, as you're saying that, like that makes sense to

438
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,640
Speaker 1: me because like I can think about like, like there's

439
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:19,120
Speaker 1: one Police has a song milkshake, Yes, And I remember

440
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 1: my niece breath shout out to breed, you know, listen

441
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,399
Speaker 1: and tell her friends when she was about to embarrass her.

442
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 2: Really, I'm sorry, Breing.

443
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:34,680
Speaker 1: Is she liked milkshake, and every time she got in

444
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 1: my car, and she was like three years old, and

445
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 1: every time she would get in the car, she would

446
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 1: ask to play milkshake. And it got to the point

447
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: where she knew how to like she figured out watching me,

448
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 1: you know, manipula like the CD player and stuff. She

449
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 1: knew to tell me what button to press to get

450
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 1: to her song. So it was like and so for me, like,

451
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: there's certain songs that I hear that will bring me

452
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 1: back to a particular moment, Like I can think about

453
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 1: like there was when Maxwell first came out. I remember,

454
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 1: like I was in this summer program and I would

455
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: have to go and wait for the bus, and my

456
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 1: mom would like sometimes she would like drive me around

457
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: the corner and we would sit in the car and

458
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 1: wait for the bus. And I remember Maxwell's song playing

459
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 1: a lot, and so like sometimes when I hear that song,

460
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 1: it takes me back to that particular moment of sitting

461
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,120
Speaker 1: in the car and waiting with my mom to get

462
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 1: on the bus to go to the summer program.

463
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 2: That is so funny too, because I feel like I

464
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 2: definitely experienced that as well, when like you hear certain

465
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 2: songs and it takes you right back to that moment.

466
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 2: So no matter where you are, there are certain songs

467
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,439
Speaker 2: I have to change the station because it brings back

468
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 2: a memory and I'm like, don't like that memory. No, Like,

469
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 2: like Aliyah, what's that one song? It's like a really

470
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 2: sad song. I don't think it's a Leah. Actually I

471
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 2: think I'll be missing you any But when I hear it,

472
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 2: it just makes me sack cause I think about I

473
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 2: think I was listening to that around the time that

474
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,879
Speaker 2: a Leah died and that just I was like, oh

475
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 2: my gosh, I can't do it. But the song that

476
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 2: I think about is Girl, You Got Me Bring back

477
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 2: all the memory. I don't think about lovers and Friends,

478
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 2: And I was listening to that ser little Jonathan in

479
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 2: high school. But the song that comes to mind now

480
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 2: is Shake that Monkey by Too Short. I remember being

481
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 2: a high school in the living room by myself when

482
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 2: we lived in Chester, Pennsylvania, and I was in the

483
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,640
Speaker 2: living room by myself. My mom and dad weren't there,

484
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 2: and I was in there trying to twork, listening to

485
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 2: that Shake That Monkey and me and my friends. We

486
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 2: would just dance together, make up different routines and stuff.

487
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 2: But that time I was like, all right, how do

488
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,440
Speaker 2: I move this little booty? I got like what I knew?

489
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 2: I shake that monkey? But you know what's crazy. A

490
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 2: lot of songs I listened to now I never knew

491
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,159
Speaker 2: what they were really about. And so I got older, Like,

492
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 2: there are songs I was like, why the hell did

493
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 2: I know all these words to remix to ignition? When

494
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 2: I was how old? And then you hear things about

495
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 2: r Kelly now and it's just like, yeah, I don't

496
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 2: want to listen to that anymore because of what's going

497
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:06,920
Speaker 2: on with him and where he's at it.

498
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 1: I mean, but there are a lot of songs that

499
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 1: like that we probably shouldn't have been listened to us

500
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 1: yet that we were like, I'm looking like, as you

501
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 1: just mentioned, too short. I remember I was in the

502
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 1: second grade and my mom, I think it was second grade,

503
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:24,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. My mom liked she liked too short,

504
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 1: and she was not really listening to a lot of

505
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 1: current artists like Prince was her faith and so then,

506
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,679
Speaker 1: but then she also liked a lot of like at

507
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,160
Speaker 1: that time old school artists like you know, like Al

508
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 1: Green Commodore's people like that, and so I remember she

509
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: liked too short, So then there would be this one.

510
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,439
Speaker 1: There was this one two short song called Freaky Tales.

511
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,679
Speaker 1: Google it, find it on Spotify.

512
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 2: Oh yes, oh my god.

513
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: It is not something that a child should be listening.

514
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 1: But I remember learning the worst to that, and I

515
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: should not have known the worst to that, but I

516
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,679
Speaker 1: can remember that my mom liked that song. And then

517
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 1: I remember that I was in the first grade. And

518
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 1: I think I've told this story before of the song Congratulations.

519
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:25,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it believe that you remember the song baby Down,

520
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 2: and you are so mature at that age you got

521
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 2: to tell the story.

522
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 1: So six years old, the song Congratulations by Vesta. Y'all

523
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: look it up and actually YouTube the video because the

524
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: video will like just get you. And I remember feeling

525
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 1: like just getting having the feelings that came up with

526
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 1: like whatever she was experiencing. And I remember I would

527
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 1: call a radio station every morning and request to hear

528
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: that song. Now granted I don't know I mean now

529
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: as an adult, like I recognize that most radio stations

530
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 1: have certain songs on a loop, right and so, and

531
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 1: I don't know all the technical stuff behind that. But

532
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: if you listen to the radio, like you know that

533
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:11,120
Speaker 1: there are certain songs that get played multiple times within

534
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 1: an hour or whatever. And but I just thought that

535
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 1: I could call and make my requests and that song

536
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 1: would get played. Six years old, loving a song about

537
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 1: a woman who lost a love and is watching him

538
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: marry someone else, like the heartbreak of it all. Six

539
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,640
Speaker 1: years old, just feeling all those feelings. Like I don't

540
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: even know if I could fully articulate at six what

541
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: those feelings were, but I felt them.

542
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 2: Did they ever say, little Mama, how old are you

543
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 2: calling up on the radio? That I wonder? That's so interesting? Yeah,

544
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 2: that just that gets me because I'm like, you're six

545
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 2: years old, you feel the song, You're so connected to

546
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 2: the song, and then you're you're like, I want to

547
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 2: call and hear my song. That's so adorable. Oh my gosh.

548
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 2: So now that makes me think about the TV shows,

549
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 2: because you know, we were like Saturday morning, you get

550
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 2: your cereal, right, you got your favorite cereal and your cartoons.

551
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 2: I'm thinking Recess, Oh my god, it was so good.

552
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 2: Recess was good. What was that other one Pepper ran

553
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 2: that was so good? What else? Oh? Saturday cartoons. I'm

554
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 2: thinking of Sailor Moon.

555
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: Oh, I forgot about Sailor Moon.

556
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 2: Moon was good.

557
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 1: Okay. Now, I remember being in kindergarten getting ready for

558
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: school and in the morning when I would get ready

559
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: for I lived with my grandparents when I was in kindergarten,

560
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 1: and I would get ready for school and it would

561
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:51,640
Speaker 1: be Jim. What was hot then? So it was Jim, Transformers, Smurfs, Yes,

562
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 1: my Little Pony like all of those cartoonss That's what.

563
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 2: I was like.

564
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: But I was real little clear like that, I know Jim.

565
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 2: What is Jim?

566
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: So Jim is It's kind of like Barbie Rock, like

567
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 1: a Barbie Rock group, Okay, like Jim and oh shoot,

568
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: I cannot think of what the Gemstones I think or

569
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 1: her backup group. But the dolls weren't made like so

570
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 1: they had dolls that went along with the cartoon, and

571
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 1: like the dolls weren't shaped like the regular Barbie dolls,

572
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 1: and they had like pink spiked hair, and it was

573
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:34,959
Speaker 1: kind of like that MTV generation right, yes, but for kids, yes, oh,

574
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 1: I love that. And every episode they were like having

575
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 1: to perform something. But then of course, you know, it

576
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: was like they had to like solve some mystery or

577
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: you know, there was some calamity that they had to

578
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 1: work their way through in that thirty minute cartoon, like.

579
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 2: A little girl power clunky. Okay, I'm liking that. I'm

580
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 2: liking that girl. I was a big Disney and Nickelodeon kid,

581
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 2: so my family is so weird. Like my family, my

582
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 2: parents were very strict, so I couldn't Marstern's show, so

583
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 2: I had to like sneak. I think I had to

584
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 2: sneak and watch all that because I think they were

585
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 2: like a little they called them like fresh. At some

586
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 2: point they did some little fresh kid stuff and they're like, oh,

587
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 2: we don't want you all watching that, But I was

588
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 2: sneaking watch all that. Remember do you remember cousin Skeeter

589
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 2: from The Cousin? I think Meghan could was on that show.

590
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 2: Oh wow, yeah, Megan Good. You gotta look up the cast.

591
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 2: Cousin Skeeter, who else? That's a Raven and Stevens on Disney.

592
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: Kim Possible, Possible, the famous jud Jackson.

593
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 2: That was my show. I know, I know, rest in

594
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 2: peace to him. Yes, that was my show. I was

595
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 2: very hurt to hear about his past and that was

596
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 2: my show. I used to have the biggest crush on

597
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 2: the famous Jedd Jackson all the Disney movies. I mean,

598
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 2: of course, like Lion pinging of the classic line, Oh.

599
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: But see, you gotta go back before line. You gotta think.

600
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 2: About a Latin Aladdin, oh a Latin and.

601
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella.

602
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 2: I probably watched those movies like thousands of times, Like

603
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 2: you know, as a kid, you just watch your favorite movie.

604
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 2: You never get tired of it, so you're like back

605
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 2: to back to back.

606
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 1: I remember my grandparents' house they had a VCR and

607
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: we so we didn't have a VCR at home until

608
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 1: later on, and so my grandparents had bought all they

609
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: would always stay up to date on the Disney VHS,

610
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 1: so they would or whatever kid movies. Because what would

611
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: happen is they would say, we go over there on

612
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: Sundays and it would be like all right, So all

613
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 1: the kids would go in the front room and we

614
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 1: would watch kids stuff. So the adults could be in

615
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: the den watching like something that was PG. Thirteen or whatever.

616
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 1: Something they didn't really want us watching. So they made

617
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 1: sure that they stayed stocked with like movies that we

618
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: could watch.

619
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 2: I loved that. That reminds me of when my aunt

620
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 2: used to be sent me and we used to have these,

621
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 2: you know, the little kid chairs and local chairs. I

622
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 2: remember sitting at our house. This is like the only

623
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 2: thing I remember from being baby, sad by her and

624
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 2: she would be watching stories and I grew to hate

625
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 2: Stories because I didn't get it, and I would just

626
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 2: have to sit there and watch it with her. And

627
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 2: that was just so mad, Like I want to watch

628
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 2: some cartoons. And we got to watch these stories, and

629
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 2: I always remember Stories being so gloomy and they had

630
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 2: this weird like you know what I mean when you

631
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 2: watch them, even the visual of the story. It just

632
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 2: had a very different look than like other TV shows.

633
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 2: And I remember just growing to hate them because I

634
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 2: was like, I don't understand this stuff. But I think

635
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 2: about girl Doug Clarissa explains it all. You remember that

636
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 2: that was so bond to bring them the teenage Witch.

637
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 2: I mean Family.

638
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 1: Matters TGIF on ABC, Like every Friday night you could

639
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 1: you watch Family Matters. It was full house. What were

640
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 1: the other There were a couple other like I think

641
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 1: more shows that would come on ABC and then Fresh

642
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 1: Prince would be on NBCC, and I remember I liked

643
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 1: watching that because on Monday nights, like it would be

644
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 1: like I would ask my mom this was in middle

645
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,840
Speaker 1: school because you would have fresh Prints that would come on,

646
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 1: and then it would be the NBC like Monday Night

647
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 1: movie and it was always some movie where like what

648
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 1: basically if you watch Lifetime or Hallmark Channel now like

649
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: those type of movies, but it would be on NBC

650
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 1: Monday Night, so it'd be like, oh, these teenagers, Like

651
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 1: this was pre Law and Order SVU, so it was

652
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 1: kind of like an SVU episode, a movie version of

653
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 1: an SVU episode.

654
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 2: Yes, oh my goodness, Law you Got Me started with

655
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 2: Law and Order, So I used to be those shows.

656
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,399
Speaker 2: And then I think about Galla Golla Islands. Oh yeah,

657
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 2: my shows you got and Call. I mean so many

658
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 2: good ones. Are you Afraid of the Dark? Yes? Are

659
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,239
Speaker 2: you gonna what are the first Prince? I think first season?

660
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 1: I think I need to but you know what, No,

661
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do one even better. But I'm gonna get

662
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 1: the first three seasons because that was the best on Bill.

663
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:14,399
Speaker 1: And I know people have arguments about who's the best

664
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:19,319
Speaker 1: on Bill, hands down, Really I like the.

665
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 2: First So we got to add a link to that

666
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 2: in the show notes. And then I would recommend, like,

667
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 2: if you have kids, you've got to get Gollagla Islands

668
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 2: because it's a nice black family and they are positive.

669
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 2: Your kids can learn watching it. I remember just being

670
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 2: in front of the TV all day watching island. It's

671
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 2: just so cool. They're all cheesy to like cheesy as

672
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 2: in like smiling. They just smile when they remember the

673
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 2: song when it comes on.

674
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 1: So exciting. You know what though, like as an adult now,

675
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 1: like as you're talking about it, like what that Why

676
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: that would be so good now is because if we

677
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,360
Speaker 1: think about Golagla Island, that's like that a small island

678
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 1: off the coast South Carolina. Like if we think about

679
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 1: the historical significance, I mean all Golagoa Island. Pull out

680
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: your phone and have some Google's lady and look up

681
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: Gola Gola Island off of the coast of South Carolina.

682
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 1: And to me, that is so genius that that was

683
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 1: a way to expose us, not just black kids, but

684
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:25,720
Speaker 1: it exposed us to a different aspect of black culture. Wow.

685
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 2: I didn't even know that dumb. I thought it was

686
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 2: just something made up, So I'm gonna do my own research.

687
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 2: You remember the song come and Let's play together and

688
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 2: that right sunny, let's all go to oh mg, I've

689
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 2: not seen that in years and still remember the song. Wow. Yeah,

690
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 2: but yeah, lady, think about all the good memories that

691
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:51,240
Speaker 2: you have and then things that like shape your upbringing

692
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 2: and just made you who you are today, because I

693
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 2: think we all can pull something from like some kind

694
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 2: of nostalgic memory that we have that we can think.

695
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: Of, right, yes, and you know, and when times are

696
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 1: rough or stressful or just unpleasant, this is one way

697
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 1: that you can cope. This is like a healthy coping

698
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,439
Speaker 1: strategy is to like step back and take a trip

699
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 1: down to the fun parts of memory lane. We fully

700
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 1: recognize and acknowledge that some of us have all of

701
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: us have parts of our past that are unpleasant and

702
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 1: that we're working to heal from. But every now and

703
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 1: then it is good for our spirit to take a

704
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: trip to the fun times.

705
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,839
Speaker 2: Yes, and girl, one of your I would say, one

706
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 2: of your action steps after listening to this episode is

707
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,479
Speaker 2: call up old friend and or call up a current

708
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 2: friend and just talk about some of those memories. The

709
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 2: way Dom and I just did, like, it really makes

710
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 2: you feel good. I even feel better considering it. We're

711
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,720
Speaker 2: in the world of the coronavirus and all the crazy

712
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,880
Speaker 2: shit just everything's going on. It's like, this feels so

713
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,440
Speaker 2: good and it's like food for the soul, And so

714
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 2: I think it would be a good time to revisit

715
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,320
Speaker 2: the question that you asked that kind of stumped me

716
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 2: when you first brought it up to me before we

717
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 2: started recording. And the question that Don post was, you know,

718
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 2: when we talk about these experiences and these memories that

719
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:16,760
Speaker 2: bring us so much joy, if you've had a rough upbringing,

720
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,479
Speaker 2: or if you've experienced some trauma, how are you able

721
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 2: to remember certain events with such fondness. Yeah, And for me,

722
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 2: I feel like that's a tough question to answer. I'm

723
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 2: kind of like I never looked at it that way.

724
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 2: I never really asked myself that question. And I think

725
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 2: and Don, we can kind of go back and forth

726
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 2: on this. I think that I, for the most part,

727
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 2: compartmentalized experiences. So even though there were like you know,

728
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 2: growing up in an abusive household, Yeah, there were a

729
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 2: lot of bad times, but there were also really good

730
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 2: times where you know, we did things as a family.

731
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 2: We did, you know, we did like family photo shoots,

732
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 2: and we you know, went to church together and there

733
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:53,880
Speaker 2: were so many good memories. And so for me, I

734
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 2: just think that I can pull from either of the experiences,

735
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 2: and I think that I can choose to, you know,

736
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 2: look at either one depending on how I feel. I

737
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 2: also think that when looking back on experiences, sometimes because

738
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 2: I'm here now because I survived, I feel like I

739
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 2: can look at things holistically, like even like who I

740
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,799
Speaker 2: am today, even when I look back on the bad

741
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 2: times or the abuse, I don't know, they're not as

742
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 2: bad as they were in the moment because I'm like, ohh,

743
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 2: I'm there. I made it. I survived. And because I've

744
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 2: been able to, you know, go to therapy and read

745
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 2: books and work on myself and go inside and just

746
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 2: do this internal work, I feel sometimes that I've come

747
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 2: out of it without the scars and the damage that

748
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 2: I could have had. So, you know, I obviously was

749
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,800
Speaker 2: damaged by it, but like I feel like I survived,

750
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: so it doesn't make it as bad. Does that make sense? Yeah?

751
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 1: And so I think part of or a large part

752
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: of what it is is you've done the work to

753
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 1: heal right, And I think that for someone who's listening

754
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 1: and they're like, well, my childhood was so traumatic enough

755
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 1: that I'm not in a space where I can think

756
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 1: about the good stuff, I think that is a signal

757
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 1: that maybe there's some more healing that needs to be done,

758
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 1: because my guess is that there may have been a point,

759
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 1: and there was probably a point in your life where

760
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,759
Speaker 1: if I asked you about going down memory lane and

761
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 1: thinking about a fun thing you did with your mom,

762
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 1: there's probably a point in your life where you weren't

763
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 1: able to do that where it would take some real

764
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 1: intention to think about like a fun time that you

765
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 1: had right yet.

766
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 2: To be honest, it's funny that you say that because

767
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 2: when I think about the conversations, so usually when me

768
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 2: and my best friend, like, we're so busy with life now,

769
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 2: but in years past, we would catch up and we

770
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 2: be on the phone for like three to five hours

771
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 2: and we talked about all the past, and I actually,

772
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,840
Speaker 2: from what I remember, like I remember being able to

773
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 2: talk about the good times with the bad times. My

774
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 2: sister Kwana, for example, shout out to you, Quantaya, she listens.

775
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 2: We will hop on the phone and this is years ago,

776
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 2: before I even really did the deep healing. We would

777
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,719
Speaker 2: talk on the phone and we would have like our

778
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:16,760
Speaker 2: hour to three hour conversations, and we would talk about

779
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 2: all of the fond memories, but we'd also talk about

780
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 2: the bad stuff too. So I feel like I've been

781
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 2: able to pretty much allow them to coexist.

782
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: Okay, I will say that there.

783
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 2: Are certain instances of life that I am now diving

784
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 2: into intentionally, and a lot of that stuff, I think

785
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 2: I may have to explore creative ways to dive into

786
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 2: it because I don't remember, and I think I may

787
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 2: have tried to protect myself, like my body biologically has

788
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 2: done it. I didn't do it intentionally, but my body

789
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 2: has tried to protect me from that incident. So I

790
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 2: may not remember what happened, but I know that it

791
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 2: was a bad feeling.

792
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 1: You know. And that is spot on in terms of

793
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:55,919
Speaker 1: what what most of us would do. Our bodies will

794
00:41:56,560 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 1: allow us to block out certain things that we aren't

795
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 1: taking in and encoding memories. Is that to protect us,

796
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:10,880
Speaker 1: we intentionally block it out and struggle with trying to

797
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 1: remember it. And you can decide whether or not you

798
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,360
Speaker 1: want to dive into it to pull it up and

799
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,319
Speaker 1: process it and work through it. Or you could say

800
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 1: I'm going to leave it where it is if it's

801
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,240
Speaker 1: not affecting me in an unhealthy way.

802
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 2: Right now, that's a good way to look at it.

803
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 2: And I will say shout out to our bodies for

804
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 2: working properly and just having that amazing capability to do that. So, yeah, lady,

805
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 2: we wanted to have this conversation. We invite you to

806
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 2: check out our instagram. Lady, go to our instagram. It's

807
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 2: going to be at her Space podcast. And what we've

808
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 2: done is we've added a few pictures that will probably

809
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 2: job your memory based on when you were raised or

810
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 2: really who you know and what you were into then,

811
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 2: So be sure to check out our instagram and let

812
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 2: us know what memories these different pictures that we posted

813
00:42:58,239 --> 00:42:58,800
Speaker 2: bring up for you.

814
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 1: Hey, lady, it's doctor Dom here from the Herspace Podcast.

815
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 1: Do you have a burning question you're dying to get

816
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 1: feedback on. Do you want an unbiased perspective on a

817
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 1: situation you're facing. If so, visit herspacepodcast dot com and

818
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:20,240
Speaker 1: click ask doctor Dom under the start here option. Every Tuesday,

819
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 1: I'll choose a few questions and answer them at random. Thanks.

820
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 1: For joining us today in her Space. Please note that

821
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 1: our show may contain conversations about self health, advice, self empowerment,

822
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 1: and mental health, but it is by no means meant

823
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: to be a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with

824
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 1: a trained mental health provider. If you are someone you

825
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,919
Speaker 1: know is in need of mental health care, please visit

826
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 1: the Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact

827
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:54,760
Speaker 1: your insurance provider.

828
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

829
00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook and stace

830
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 2: and Twitter at her Space podcast, or check out our

831
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,719
Speaker 2: website at herspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again,

832
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:13,800
Speaker 2: repeat after me, There's something inside of me that's bigger

833
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:17,359
Speaker 2: than any obstacle. We'll see you next week, Lady,