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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now. It could be hold on tight,

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Speaker 1: we got it for you. Here. It is the Strawberry Letter,

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Speaker 1: all right. Subject My ex won't let me meet his boo.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, My ex husband and I are both

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Speaker 1: in our forties and we have three children under age twelve.

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Speaker 1: We divorced over two years ago, and recently he allowed

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Speaker 1: his girlfriend to move into my old house with him.

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Speaker 1: The kids mentioned it, so I asked my ex to

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Speaker 1: let me meet the woman that my kids are around.

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Speaker 1: He got upset and said it's none of my business.

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Speaker 1: I said I should know who my children are around,

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Speaker 1: and he said all I need to know is that

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Speaker 1: they're with him, and that's all that matters. Well, I

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Speaker 1: do happen to know the woman, and she's a whore

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Speaker 1: he messed with while we were married, and I'm sure

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Speaker 1: he's afraid for me to be Yeah, you heard it.

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Speaker 1: You don't even say that, but that's what it says

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Speaker 1: in the letter. Well, I do happen to know the woman,

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Speaker 1: and she's a whore he messed with while we were married,

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Speaker 1: and I'm sure he's afraid for me to be face

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Speaker 1: to face with her because I might snap. It's been

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Speaker 1: years since this happened, so I'm not tripping at all.

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Speaker 1: But even if it was another woman, I would want

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Speaker 1: to meet her. He is planning to take our children

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Speaker 1: and his girlfriend to Destin when the kids finished with school,

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Speaker 1: and I saw this on social media because he puts

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Speaker 1: all of his business out on there. He hasn't mentioned

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Speaker 1: anything to me and still hasn't set up a meeting

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Speaker 1: between me and this person he lives with. I still

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Speaker 1: let the children go visit him, but I think it's

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Speaker 1: very disrespectful that I don't know this woman. My family

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Speaker 1: says I need to read out to her, but that

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Speaker 1: is his job. I asked him, if the tables are

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Speaker 1: turned and I had a man living with me, would

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Speaker 1: he like to meet the man I have around his children?

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Speaker 1: He said he doesn't ever want to meet another n

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Speaker 1: word that's with me. He doesn't respect or drop off

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Speaker 1: and pickup times either, and it's a big ordeal because

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Speaker 1: he doesn't want me coming by the house. I've kept quiet,

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Speaker 1: but it hasn't been easy. Should I reach out to

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Speaker 1: this woman he lives with or let it be well?

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Speaker 1: I mean, this certainly is your business. Despite what he

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Speaker 1: said about it being none of your business, it is

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Speaker 1: your business. I mean, these are your kids, and you

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Speaker 1: have every right to know what's going on with them,

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Speaker 1: as long as your intentions are pure and you really

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Speaker 1: do want to meet this woman and you're not gonna

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Speaker 1: snap like you say you want to meet this woman

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Speaker 1: for the reasons you speak of, then okay, you're not wrong.

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Speaker 1: But the chances of this actually happened, it sounds like

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Speaker 1: are zero to none. Okay, your trifling ex husband is

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Speaker 1: just not about to let this happen. He knows he's wrong,

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Speaker 1: and he's too petty to care about that. I say

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Speaker 1: petty because it's not about him. It's not about you.

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Speaker 1: It's not even about the girlfriend. Really, it's about the kids.

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Speaker 1: That's all you're trying to find out, is that the

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Speaker 1: kids cool. You want to know what this person's character is,

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Speaker 1: what she's teaching them, Does she really care for them?

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Speaker 1: I mean, she's living in the home, so they're going

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Speaker 1: to be around her quite a bit. Does she discipline them?

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Speaker 1: If she does? How you want to know all those things,

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Speaker 1: all these questions you want answers to, Well, you do

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Speaker 1: sound like the adult in this situation. Your husband is

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Speaker 1: bitter and very disrespectful, as you said, and you're going

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Speaker 1: to get nowhere with him. So I don't think it'll

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Speaker 1: hurt anything to reach out to this woman. You can,

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Speaker 1: but I also say be watchful, listen to your children,

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Speaker 1: wait for any change in their behavior or anything they

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Speaker 1: might tell you. They're under twelve, which means you know

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Speaker 1: they can talk and everything. So if there's any kind

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Speaker 1: of change, and then you speak to your husband about it,

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Speaker 1: if you have to go over there. I don't think

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Speaker 1: there's a wrong answer here. I just don't. I don't

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Speaker 1: think there's a wrong answer. You you do it how

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Speaker 1: you feel you should do it, as their parents. Steve, Well,

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Speaker 1: we've got a few things going on in this letter.

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Speaker 1: At first, my ex won't let me meet his boo

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Speaker 1: was a little deceptive, But now that you have children involved,

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Speaker 1: that changes everything. I was a little confused as I

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Speaker 1: was reading the letter because it wasn't clear who the

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Speaker 1: children were with until later on in the letter. They

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Speaker 1: just go to visit him, so you have custody of

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Speaker 1: the kids. Now, let's start with a couple of things.

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Speaker 1: I pick up right away. My ex husband and I

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Speaker 1: both in their forties. Y'all got three children on the

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Speaker 1: age that we divorced over two years ago. Recently, he

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Speaker 1: allowed his girlfriend to move into my old house with him. See,

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Speaker 1: once you say that's my old house adds a little

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Speaker 1: extra to a sauce in the story. It's obviously not

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Speaker 1: your house or the kids told you about it. So

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Speaker 1: you ask your extra let him meet the woman that

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Speaker 1: my kids around. He got upset, said that ain't none

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Speaker 1: of your business. It would be none of your business

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Speaker 1: if the kids weren't around. But the kids are around,

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Speaker 1: especially if they talk about vacation together. But here's the

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Speaker 1: part that gets trouble. I need to know who they're

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Speaker 1: with with him, and that's all that mattered. And then

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Speaker 1: you said, well, I do happen to know the woman,

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Speaker 1: and she's a whore. Now when you say that lady,

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Speaker 1: now your old house and she's a whore. Now you

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Speaker 1: don't like this woman. And then you said he's afraid

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Speaker 1: for you to be face to face with her because

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Speaker 1: I might snap. Well, there with your old house, the whore,

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna snap. That's why you ain't meet no

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Speaker 1: damn right there? All right, we'll let part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter subject my ex won't let me meet

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Speaker 1: his boo. We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to show, all right, Come on, Steve, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry letter subject my X won't let me

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Speaker 1: meet his boo. Well, the subject is a little misleading

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Speaker 1: because we didn't know it was children involved. But children

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Speaker 1: are involved. I think you should meet him. But let

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Speaker 1: me tell you why you start to let off wrong.

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Speaker 1: Y'all divorce, You got three children under twelve. He recently

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Speaker 1: allowed his girlfriend to move into my old house. If

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Speaker 1: it was your house, you still be there, especially with

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Speaker 1: possession of the kids. So I guess you wanted out

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Speaker 1: of the house for some reason, or some reason you

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Speaker 1: won't awarded the house or something something to that effect.

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Speaker 1: But it's not your old house. It's his house, and

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Speaker 1: the kids told you about that, and you want to

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Speaker 1: meet the one, but he said that's none of your

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Speaker 1: buss since I disagree because their kids involved, and you

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Speaker 1: should know who's around my children. He said, all I

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Speaker 1: need to know is that she's with him there with them,

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Speaker 1: and that's all the matter. And then you said, well

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Speaker 1: I do happen to know the woman. She's a whore.

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Speaker 1: Well okay, now, naw, we're getting into some other stuff now,

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Speaker 1: because that's the case me, it's gonna get ugly. And

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Speaker 1: said that he's afraid you to meet a face face

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Speaker 1: because I might snap because this is the woman that

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Speaker 1: slept with your husband. Why y'all was mad. Now you say,

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Speaker 1: it's been years since it's happened, so I'm not tripping

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Speaker 1: at all, even if it was another woman I would

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Speaker 1: want to meet or which makes sense. He's planning to

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Speaker 1: take our children and his girlfriend to Destin when the

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Speaker 1: kids finished with school, and I saw this on social

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Speaker 1: media because he puts all his business on there. He

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Speaker 1: ain't mentioned nothing to you and still hasn't set up

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Speaker 1: the meeting between me and the person, and he lives

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Speaker 1: with him. I still let the children go visiting him,

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Speaker 1: but I think it's very disrespectful. I don't know who

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Speaker 1: this woman is. I agree with you. I think it

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Speaker 1: is disrespectful. My family says I need to reach out

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Speaker 1: to her, but that's his job. Well, it's supposed to

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Speaker 1: be his job, but he'd obviously don't do his jobs

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Speaker 1: real well, or else y'all would still be married. I

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Speaker 1: asked him, if the tables were turned, if I had

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Speaker 1: a man living with me, would he liked to meet

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Speaker 1: the man I have around his children? He said, he

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Speaker 1: don't never want to meet another end that's that's with me. Well,

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Speaker 1: that's stupid of him, because if it's a man raising

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Speaker 1: your kids, that's in it, and they under twelve, that

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Speaker 1: at an impressionable age. You know, we all got to meet.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't respect I drop off and pick up times either.

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Speaker 1: It's a big ordeal because he doesn't want me coming

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Speaker 1: by the house. I've kept quiet, but it hasn't been easy.

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Speaker 1: Should I reach out to this woman? He lives with

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Speaker 1: him at so let me take to co parenting is

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Speaker 1: hard work, especially when they're co parenting and they're divorced. Now,

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Speaker 1: the fact that you've mentioned she's a whore and in

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Speaker 1: y'all's old house, and she slept with her husband, and

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Speaker 1: you might snap. Is exactly why you haven't met this

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Speaker 1: woman yet, But you have to. I think your family's

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Speaker 1: up to someone when they said you should reach out

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Speaker 1: to them. I think you should call an inviter for

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Speaker 1: coffee or a place of her choosing and just meet

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Speaker 1: her and just say, woman and woman, I just want

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Speaker 1: to meet you. I love my children, I love them dearly.

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Speaker 1: I just want to make shoot that you're okay with

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Speaker 1: the kids. Are you having any problems with any one

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Speaker 1: of them? Maybe I can clear it up for you.

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Speaker 1: Teach you a little bit about my children because some

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Speaker 1: of them have All kids have different ways. You might

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Speaker 1: be struggling with the behavior over there, something as any

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Speaker 1: thing I can help you with. Blah blah blah blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah, so you can feel comfortable dropping your

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Speaker 1: kids off. That's what co parenting is. That's what you

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Speaker 1: have to do. That's the tough work. You think marriage

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Speaker 1: was tough, co parenting is tough too, So that's what

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Speaker 1: you have to do. Now let's talk about your attitude.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna say attitude. You're gonna have to quit calling

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Speaker 1: this woman a hord Okay, because that right there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: see that's gonna keep you in stink mode with this

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Speaker 1: heath for the whole time, and right see right there,

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Speaker 1: But it ain't your husband no more. So what you

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Speaker 1: gotta look at it from now on is she slept

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Speaker 1: with your ex husband, not your husband, because he's your

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Speaker 1: ex husband now. So the man he's the way he

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Speaker 1: was man she was sleeping with is actually your ex husband,

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Speaker 1: So fix that in your mind. The other thing you

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Speaker 1: need to do is you have to quit calling a

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Speaker 1: woman a whore, because a whore definition of a horse

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Speaker 1: different from she was just with your husband. She wasn't

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Speaker 1: with a lot of men. She was just with your husband.

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Speaker 1: And she could have been with your husband for some

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Speaker 1: other reasons. He could have lied, you know, and I

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Speaker 1: told her all the facts. Oh that you're saying this

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Speaker 1: woman that he was married at the time, could have said,

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Speaker 1: y'all was going through some things and separated. All is here,

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Speaker 1: So you gotta kind of feel to that he But

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Speaker 1: the key is so you can get comfortable with the

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Speaker 1: woman that's around your kids. And you want to do

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Speaker 1: a flex a little bit too, because you are the mother,

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Speaker 1: and mothers have every right to flex. I made these babies.

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Speaker 1: You can't just drag them off where you want, which

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Speaker 1: is true. And I don't know what you all visitation

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Speaker 1: rights is, but taking the babies out to state as

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Speaker 1: kids could. Aardey could go to deston Winter babies if

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Speaker 1: you could charge her we kidnapping and dance. Okay, thank you, Steve.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Drawberry Letters Steve Harvey FM

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast

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Speaker 1: on trying to help. Thank you. Coming up at forty

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Speaker 1: six minutes after the hours Sports Talk with Junior. Right

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Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show