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Speaker 1: Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Don't

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Speaker 1: Want No Short Trend Show. I am Jack. You are

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Speaker 1: Don't Want No Short Trend Show. There it is. I've

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Speaker 1: never said my name in this episode, and there never

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Speaker 1: said your name in trend Yeah, you always introduced me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm Jack your miles cry. Thank god I couldn't. I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to break tradition. Trendition, trendition, trendition right now.

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Speaker 1: That's for our our bush themed series. There you go.

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Speaker 1: All right, well, let's tell the people what's trending. iPhone

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Speaker 1: fourteen is trending. I can't imagine why. I mean, there's

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Speaker 1: not even a third team, so what are what's going on?

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Speaker 1: They because, apparently, but the next week there's going to

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Speaker 1: be that big, you know, streaming event, and they say,

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Speaker 1: you know, that's probably we're going to see the iPhone

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Speaker 1: third team. But people already talking about the iPhone fourteen

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Speaker 1: because there's like rumors about its new design. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: This is just like one of those things too, where

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Speaker 1: like most of people were not like excited about it,

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Speaker 1: but you're like, why the fuck is this trending? When

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Speaker 1: I just bought the twelve twice fourteen training. We haven't

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Speaker 1: even seen thirteen. What are we doing here? My most

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Speaker 1: recent upgrade was from the last one with a button

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Speaker 1: eight eight to twelve, and you know that was a

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Speaker 1: pretty significant jump. But now they're talking, all right, guys,

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Speaker 1: I think we're going to get one that has no

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Speaker 1: notch and no camera bump. And at that point, I

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Speaker 1: don't give a funk. I don't even know what you're

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Speaker 1: talking about with the not truly. Yeah, they're like, well, Jack,

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Speaker 1: what would you say if I told you that this

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Speaker 1: would actually have more of a notch list design? Not,

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Speaker 1: in my mind would be fucking blown dude. It's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I have no idea because it's just this part, you

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Speaker 1: know how, Like the screen isn't complete and like that

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Speaker 1: part where you're the sound comes out for your ear,

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Speaker 1: that's that is now, Oh my god, it's not giving

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Speaker 1: me a full screen. That does make me very angry.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's true, that's actually very true. Funk is this

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Speaker 1: this frame isn't titanium like you're putting the case on

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Speaker 1: it anyway, But you know, we need we need things

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Speaker 1: to distract, so uh, like God, like, I honestly hope

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Speaker 1: at a certain point, like even the biggest Apple fans

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Speaker 1: have had enough, Like really, like, unless this thing is

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Speaker 1: gonna summon like a Tupac hologram at will, right, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know what else you could do

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Speaker 1: for me to give a fuck more because I couldn't

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Speaker 1: give a fuck less. What do I think a success sucks?

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Speaker 1: Too much? Stress? Um? But yeah, it's just the you know,

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Speaker 1: from the from the Master of the three one three.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know the good iPhone fourteen. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm finding it with the eleven I got. I was.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure we peaked with this motherfucker. I'm pretty

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Speaker 1: sure that that's been that's been it, and we're good.

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Speaker 1: But I mean four stops to lescence will lead to

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Speaker 1: us having to replace our phones every couple of years.

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Speaker 1: So right. That was the other dominating joke on Twitter

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Speaker 1: was just like iPhone fourteen, They're like my iPhone twelve

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Speaker 1: and to be like and it's just like all this

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Speaker 1: like weird glitch ship posting, weird videos and things sucking

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Speaker 1: up yep, um did joy is trending? Um, so Louis,

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Speaker 1: it's a weird trend because what happened is the Biden

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Speaker 1: administration they told, Okay, so there's a military Academy board that,

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Speaker 1: like the Trump administration had put people on. So that's

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Speaker 1: like people like Kelley and Conaway, Sean Spicer, uh fucking

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Speaker 1: hr McMaster And so what the Biden administration said, Look,

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Speaker 1: y'all need to resign or we're just going to remove you.

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Speaker 1: Either way, it's a wrap for y'all, um, so figure

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Speaker 1: out what you want to do. You can either clear

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Speaker 1: ship out or will clear clear the ship out for you.

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Speaker 1: And then so a lot of people like, uh, what

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Speaker 1: about Louis de Joy? What about the postmaster general who

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Speaker 1: was very transparently fucking up the postal service at a

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Speaker 1: very critical time and a lot of people are concerned

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Speaker 1: about you know, mail in ballots and ship Maybe what

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Speaker 1: about him? Why don't you give him the old pack

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Speaker 1: your ship or I'll pack it for you. But I

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Speaker 1: don't know that's I feel. Is he on the military

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Speaker 1: board or they're just saying that the postmaster general and

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Speaker 1: they're like, you couldn't replace him, So what's going on here?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Whatever, there's there's there's too much going on.

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Speaker 1: There's too much going on, I guess. But yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: a valid point I thought about Kelly and Conway and months, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I not glad that I just did. Yeah, don't look

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Speaker 1: up is trending the trailer for the new Adam McKay

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Speaker 1: movie UM, in which so scientists realized that a giant

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Speaker 1: comet is headed towards the Earth, they go contact Bruce Willis,

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Speaker 1: who's on an oil rig. He's one of the best

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Speaker 1: oil drillers. And then unfortunately Ben Affleck is Bruce Willis's

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Speaker 1: daughter's girlfriend. Uh. And then they arrive at the space

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Speaker 1: station and they say at the launching pad and they say,

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Speaker 1: talk about the wrong stuff. No, So don't look up.

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Speaker 1: As basically the plot of Armageddon kind of using what

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Speaker 1: we have learned about how humans deal with those sorts

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Speaker 1: of cataclysmic prospects, which is they're just like kind of

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Speaker 1: tired of being stressed out by stuff. So we're gonna

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Speaker 1: just kind of move move, move along. We're not not

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Speaker 1: intra not buying what you're selling because it's not gonna

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Speaker 1: test well with focus groups. So it's a long satire

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Speaker 1: on that. I was worried when I read the premise

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Speaker 1: that it would be a little bit one jokey, and

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Speaker 1: they seem to have combated that with, uh, just an

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Speaker 1: incredible cast and yeah, what the fun Ariana Grande, Leonardo DiCaprio,

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Speaker 1: Shallow May, Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Evans and Jennifer Lawrence playing

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Speaker 1: to like lead roles is like, Okay, that's a Tyler

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Speaker 1: Perry kid Cutty. I'm not film, Yeah, Gina Gershawn, I

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Speaker 1: mean it's got everything. It's got everything. Yeah, I don't okay,

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Speaker 1: I mean I hope it has a has an effect.

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Speaker 1: I mean that's that seems to be the excited me

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Speaker 1: the most. Is So it starts off, you know, showing

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Speaker 1: a some scenes from the movie, and then it's like

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Speaker 1: from the director of Vice and um, the Big Short,

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Speaker 1: and then it shows like kind of a silly scene

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Speaker 1: and then it's like and Stepbrothers and Anchorman and yeah,

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Speaker 1: bring some of that Stepbrothers flavor to our apocalyptic works

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Speaker 1: of satire. My favorite part of Stepbrothers. I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: It's like one of the most morbid parts is when

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Speaker 1: they're showing the house and they pretend that Will, like

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Speaker 1: Will wasn't it Will Ferrell who's dead. They're pretending he's

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Speaker 1: dead and John, Oh my god, I don't know why

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Speaker 1: of all the scenes. I'm like, ridiculous love of fake corpse,

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Speaker 1: the board a house showing in a real estate context. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that is a true classic. Adam McKay is a super smart,

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Speaker 1: interesting dude. I don't know if you've ever if you've

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Speaker 1: ever listened to him on podcasts, He's just he's kind

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Speaker 1: of an interesting gotta here talk so high hopes. Hey,

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Speaker 1: maybe we can get him on this one. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean he keeps asking a on and I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: we've got a fully booked schedule or like do a

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Speaker 1: Taco Bell movie and then we can talk. Asshole, Let's

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Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be right back. And

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Speaker 1: we're back. Uh. And speaking of people who keep trying

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Speaker 1: to get on Daily Zeist and we keep turning down.

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Speaker 1: Derek jet Jet Jet Jetter Jet from I think he's

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Speaker 1: a cricket player from Mozambia or something. No, he old

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Speaker 1: Jeter Jeter. He got fucking inducted the Sea Town Baby

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Speaker 1: Cooper down. He's in the Hall of Fame. Is that

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Speaker 1: so he got inducted like he? I thought he got

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Speaker 1: nominator voted in a long time ago, didn't he. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I think this is the ceremony, Like, what is

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Speaker 1: the timeline on that? Like is it? Um? Do they

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Speaker 1: just like go and do the induction whenever they are ready?

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Speaker 1: Because I feel like he got voted in a long

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Speaker 1: time ago. Yeah. Well, I think because it was at

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Speaker 1: the beginning of when he was elected to be in

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Speaker 1: the Hall of Fame, and then I think something happened

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Speaker 1: in yeah, and then that oh right, um and then

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Speaker 1: that uh that had delayed things. I'd imagine I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but maybe there was an induction in. But either way, Um, anyways,

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Speaker 1: Jeter is actually a really good guy. Uh. My wife

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Speaker 1: keeps showing up with gift baskets from him that like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, like so nice she's getting. Just keep

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Speaker 1: sending them to the house. I don't know. He must

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Speaker 1: really like our family or something. Yeah, they're great, and

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Speaker 1: he keeps and her she you know that he keeps

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Speaker 1: sending her on these cool trips she gets to go on.

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Speaker 1: I haven't seen her about three months, but she's a Uh.

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Speaker 1: John Mulaney is uh. He made an appearance on the

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Speaker 1: Seth Meyers Show last night, I believe uh and announced

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Speaker 1: that he and Olivia Munn are expecting a baby. You

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Speaker 1: know this is right after he announced that he was

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Speaker 1: getting a divorced from his wife, Like not right after,

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Speaker 1: but like people on TikTok and other social media sites

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Speaker 1: said that this was the case, like right after the

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Speaker 1: divorce was announced, and it seems like they kind of

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Speaker 1: kept a lid on it for a little while, uh,

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Speaker 1: for you know, purposes of propriety, um, like not making

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Speaker 1: his wife feel like shit or his ex wife feel

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Speaker 1: like ship. Um. But people said he was really funny

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Speaker 1: on the show. I have not watched yet. I will

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Speaker 1: watch it after we record this so useless to the listener, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but that's what was the other what he's with her,

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Speaker 1: he lived mind or having a baby, and then and

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Speaker 1: then but then I think he thanks Seth Meyers or

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Speaker 1: something that was like another dimension I think of it.

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Speaker 1: That was tweeting where he was like give you know,

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Speaker 1: expressing his gratitude to him for he was writing on

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Speaker 1: the Seth Meyers show for a little while right before

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Speaker 1: he went into rehab. Um. Well all right, yeah he

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Speaker 1: said he thinks he thanked him for saving his life.

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Speaker 1: Britney Spears is trending because yeah, it was like all right, fine, fine, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's a wrap. You think you can do this without

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Speaker 1: so I okay, okay, you're so you just want to

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Speaker 1: let Brittany decide what to have fucking agency over everything

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Speaker 1: in her life. I was trying to be a good dad.

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Speaker 1: So he's he's filed the paperwork to end the conservatorship. Um. Um, right,

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Speaker 1: that was the last thing that's happened, so meaning that

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Speaker 1: we are well and truly moving into a freer Brittany era. Um.

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Speaker 1: But like, yeah, his his tone around it was very

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Speaker 1: much like not copying too, that it was bad. I

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Speaker 1: was trying to do what I thought was right, not

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Speaker 1: this was a terrible legal quagmire and fucked up, you

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Speaker 1: know glass menagerie that I put my own child in, uh,

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Speaker 1: with no ability to think or decide things for herself.

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Speaker 1: It's more right, um, even as she was asking for

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Speaker 1: the right to think an act for herself. Yeah. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And he compared her to a racehorse. So all you know,

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Speaker 1: how broads are your honor, They're like, okay, sir, that's

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Speaker 1: not a he please at least file that in legal paperwork,

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Speaker 1: don't just screaming at me in the courtroom. And finally,

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Speaker 1: just to check in with that ongoing story that is

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Speaker 1: most famous for delaying Derek Jeter's induction into the Cooperstown

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Speaker 1: Hall of Fame. The COVID nineteen pandemic. I think it's

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Speaker 1: called that cases are currently three higher than this time

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Speaker 1: last year. Um and the Mew variant has been found

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Speaker 1: in every state. UM. So the Mew variant because I

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Speaker 1: I saw this and I was just like, okay, so

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be like another variant that's worse than delta,

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Speaker 1: like and we're just gonna keep getting worse and worse. Also,

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Speaker 1: how do you pronounce that it is Mew, not MA

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Speaker 1: or MoU variant? Um? But I don't take more variants.

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Speaker 1: It is currently not a variation of concern, it's a

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Speaker 1: variation of interest. They're still like figuring out how it

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Speaker 1: compares to other variations. But the delta variant was uh uh,

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Speaker 1: absolutely right, And it's twice as contagious as as previous variants.

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Speaker 1: So that's the yeah, right. And there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: number like aside from the the Mew variant, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of other things trending around COVID today because the

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Speaker 1: like they say, more children are making up more than

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Speaker 1: a quarter of the weekly COVID cases. UM. And on

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Speaker 1: top of that you have the the other thing with

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Speaker 1: the MEW variant. A lot of you know, the the

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Speaker 1: epidemiologists and doctors are like, yeah, here's the thing, Like,

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Speaker 1: it's a variant, but the guidance is going to be

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Speaker 1: the same no matter what. So rather than getting all

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Speaker 1: freaked out about the MEW variants, just know that we

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Speaker 1: have to continue doing the things we were doing, which

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Speaker 1: is to get people vaccinated because then it won't be

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Speaker 1: transmissed as transmissible and allow for more variants to emerge,

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Speaker 1: which is the real sticky problem there is if you

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Speaker 1: just let that fucking incubator run wild, eventually a fucking

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Speaker 1: mon start's going to come out. Um, and that's the

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Speaker 1: absolute nightmare scenario where we start from fucking scratch. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know that we have to just keep doing the

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Speaker 1: same things. Uh. Then there's still a lot of people

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Speaker 1: who don't want to. So this is gonna be a long,

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Speaker 1: long old thing. And a lot of experts are now like,

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Speaker 1: this is We're gonna have COVID forever, you know, Like,

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Speaker 1: but now it's going to be about how we figure

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Speaker 1: out like how we're able to maneuver it and have

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Speaker 1: like you know, shots like you would for the flu,

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Speaker 1: but this is being something more serious. It's yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we we'll see. It's just the sticky yeah, put

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Speaker 1: it in the air. I'm just waiting, not the cod

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Speaker 1: in the air. A sticky and I the most sticky

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Speaker 1: icky of them. Um. Yeah. Anyways, that is going to

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Speaker 1: do it for today is episode. We are back tomorrow

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Speaker 1: with the whole last episode of the show. Until then,

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Speaker 1: be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get

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Speaker 1: the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we

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Speaker 1: will talk to you all tomorrow. Bye bye,