WEBVTT - Featuring Rachel Platten 0:00:04.160 --> 0:00:06.440 Hey guys, It's Sammy Jay and welcome back to this 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:09.399 week's episode of the Let's Be Real Podcast. You guys, 0:00:09.880 --> 0:00:12.400 do you know what's crazy? This is our season two finale. 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:15.000 I still can't believe that. I can't believe we've had 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:18.320 two seasons of Let's Be Real Podcast. It still feels 0:00:18.320 --> 0:00:20.800 like a dream to me. I'm so grateful that you're listening, 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:23.160 and I'm so glad that we get to end season 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:26.720 two with the amazing Rachel plattin Now. You might know 0:00:26.800 --> 0:00:30.160 her from her mega hit Byte song, but she is 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:33.479 one of the most inspiring and creative people I've talked to. 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:36.559 We talked about her new song Soldiers, which is out now, 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:38.879 which you should listen to. We talked about her children's 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:41.120 book How to Stay Creative, How to Get Out of 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:44.839 a Creative Red Meditation Manifestation. She may or may not 0:00:45.000 --> 0:00:50.800 walk us through a manifestation meditation exercise. That was the mouthful. Rachel, 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:52.880 Thank you so much for coming on my podcast again. 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:55.400 I love this episode so much. Don't forget to subscribe, 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:59.480 and I hope you enjoy it. I am so excited 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:01.520 to have you all my podcast, Rachel, but you're so 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:04.720 welcome I've loved your music for so many years, but 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:08.039 just beyond your music, you are one of the very 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:11.119 few people that are so honest and vulnerable and authentic. 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:14.240 And that's the thing that I've that was a catalyst 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:17.400 for me starting the podcast. And you have to wait 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:19.319 a long time for your first hit. What was it 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:24.040 over thirteen years? Yeah, you had to wait a minute. 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:25.759 And I feel like you be here in a time 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.160 where we very much have to practice patients for the 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:31.119 world to get back to normal, and you know patients 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:33.640 better than anybody. So what advice do you have for 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:36.280 just patients, because I think we all need it right now. 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:40.160 Oh it's such a good question, And I honestly I 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:44.120 probably need my own advice too, because I don't really 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:46.760 feel like I was that patient during the time. I 0:01:46.880 --> 0:01:51.760 just more, um, I was strong, like I could deal 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:54.640 with the failure and the setbacks and the rejection well. 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:57.120 And then I did. And I'm like a good comeback kid, 0:01:57.200 --> 0:02:00.160 Like I'm not all enlightened and know every thing I 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:03.800 figured out. But one thing I can do well is quickly, um, 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:07.440 realign myself and like figure out again how to pick 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:09.960 myself back up and get myself back on my feet. 0:02:10.400 --> 0:02:13.000 And it's so funny because I'm teaching my toddler right 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:18.360 now patients and yeah, we say the word all the time, 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:22.360 and watching it in so many different forms in the 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:25.600 way that we've had to be patient this year with um, 0:02:25.639 --> 0:02:29.280 you know, missing people and missing our normal lives and 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:32.320 the struggle that obviously you and I are going through, 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:35.800 but other people are affected even more. And there's just 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:39.560 so much that we're all missing, and I've had to 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.000 sacrifice and give up right now. And some of it's 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:44.919 for the better. I mean, I know that there's benefits 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:48.280 to it, but I think my advice right now, oh 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:52.880 my goodness, would just be And I'm doing it myself 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:57.360 every day A come up with a gratitude practice to 0:02:57.400 --> 0:03:01.560 be in the moment and appreciate little things and the 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:04.160 things that we do have rather than the stress of 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:06.960 what we don't have. Like yesterday, I was feeling really 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:09.320 lonely and missing my family there on the East Coast, 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:11.920 and I wanted a hug so badly from just a 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:15.880 girlfriend or family member. But I realized I did a 0:03:15.880 --> 0:03:18.760 little meditation, and I centered myself and I realized, you know, 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:21.000 I've done so much work. I can be that loving 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:23.640 presence for myself. I can put a hand on my 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:26.600 heart and give myself the nurturing that I need, and 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:28.960 even give myself a hug. It sounds silly, but you know, 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:32.160 we can do it. I can give myself the love 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:37.440 that I'm seeking. And I think maybe the lesson is 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:41.080 like finding, yeah, what we do have, not what we're lacking. 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:43.360 And in general, I think it's a beautiful lesson because 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:46.040 it reminds us that we have so much to give, 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:49.360 and often we're looking to receive and get, but we 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:51.720 forget all the power and love that we have to 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:54.240 give in our own hearts. I think that's so true. 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:58.000 And I feel like we're in a time where I've 0:03:58.000 --> 0:04:01.400 been trying to figure out a form of self care. 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:04.760 I'm not sure what that is at the moment um. 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:08.040 I've been applying to college the first semester, I've been 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:10.720 doing five classes. I'm still in high school. I've been 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:14.440 balancing the podcast with during a pandemic. It's been really 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:17.200 interesting and I think I'm very drained at this point 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:21.400 um And I can't imagine it's hard, but I've tried 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:25.279 um meditating and I can't focus for that long. What 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:27.320 advice do you have for that, because you seem very 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:30.479 into it. I am into it, but I don't know 0:04:30.520 --> 0:04:32.560 that I was into it at eighteen. I think I 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:35.880 think it's tough when you're younger and unless you've grown 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:38.080 up with being a common thing that you're taught. I'm 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:40.240 trying to teach my two year old now to take 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:42.839 deep breaths and like I'll like do a meditation and 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:45.160 I'll have her sit on my lap and just be 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:48.080 comfortable with the being still with yourself without doing anything. 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:51.000 And obviously she can last maybe like realistically a minute 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:52.840 and a half or two minutes. But that's impressive for 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:55.280 a two year old. Though. I think it's I mean, 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:58.159 it's pretty cool, um, but I think it's really hard 0:04:58.160 --> 0:04:59.680 if you having grown up with it. I think my 0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:02.480 mom introduced me to yoga when I was seventeen or eighteen, 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:04.719 maybe right around your age, and I was feeling so 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:09.159 much stress. I remember that age is really really confusing 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:12.360 and hard, harder than we give it credit for. It's 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:15.880 like it's so much pressure. So you're supposed to you 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:17.920 think you're supposed to figure out the whole entire rest 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.000 of your life, and you think these certain set of 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:23.360 decisions are going to dictate. But the truth is emmy 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:25.800 at least for me, I had no idea what path 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:27.360 of my life was going to take when I was eighteen. 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:29.640 I planned it in one way. I think there are 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:32.080 always open doors that come There's all these like these 0:05:32.120 --> 0:05:34.640 miraculous opportunities that show up, and I think you just 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:37.320 take the next best step and take the pressure off 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.040 a little bit and just say what feels good for 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:41.440 right now, not what's going to be like my you know, 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:44.760 life plan in ten years. So much stress. Okay, but anyway, 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:47.800 now me that advice meditating, No I do because I 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:50.159 feel like we're in this place. If you're a senior 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:53.000 right now, you probably understand where. You know, we're applying 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:55.640 to colleges that we've never even visited, and so we're 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:59.760 determining we're supposed to go. There are these virtual tours, 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:02.200 but you can only get so much out of that. 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:05.120 I have to decide by May first, like what I'm 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:07.800 going to be doing next year when I have no 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:11.200 idea what that is. Oh my god, that is I 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:14.479 didn't even think about that. For you guys, that is 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:17.080 really hard. There's so much you get from the energy 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:19.479 of feeling a place and feeling if you fit into it, 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:22.159 and like even just going into cafeteria or like a 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:24.400 library and seeing is this like my vibes, this feel. 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:27.800 I'm really sorry that you're having to go through that, 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:31.599 you know, but we compare. I'm so lucky that I 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.479 am able to have the opportunity to go through it 0:06:34.520 --> 0:06:36.240 and to have I'm lucky to be able to be 0:06:36.279 --> 0:06:38.919 stressed about it, you know what I mean, Because people 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:42.920 don't even get that opportunity. Um, But I have lived 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:44.200 in New York my whole life. I go to school 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:47.800 in New York, and it's doing school online at home 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:52.040 in an apartment. Is what's stressful? Where did you grow up? 0:06:52.360 --> 0:06:55.800 Oh my god, I really feel for you, guys. I 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:58.120 can't imagine what that feels like to have to do homeschool. 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:00.840 I've seen it my my friends where moms who are 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:02.880 trying to put their kids through home school. But I 0:07:02.920 --> 0:07:06.320 don't know that many um high school age kids who 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:09.760 are like having to deal with it. And honestly, I 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:12.920 am so sorry for all of you. It's sounds horrible, 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:14.800 but I love that you. I love that you shifted 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:19.120 yourself even that like shift from like oh, this is 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:21.440 a problem, and this is something that is hurting me 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:24.200 to how lucky you are. I really think that mindset 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:28.520 is so integral and important in how we're able to 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:33.280 have you keep our mental health, keep mentally healthy. UM. 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.640 I grew up in Boston, right outside of Boston, and 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:37.440 I actually moved to New York when I was um 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:41.480 one where in New York I lived all over I 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:43.800 lived um When I first moved there, I was in 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:45.600 the Upper East Side, and then I was down in 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:48.680 the village for years, for like seven years, so fun 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:53.600 would you ever move back? I don't know. I was 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:57.239 there for twelve years and it was a really beautiful time. 0:07:57.520 --> 0:07:59.520 I was just talking to my friends and the other 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:02.160 night about out the scene, the music scene in the 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:05.200 West Village. Did you guys ever check out shows? And like, 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:07.320 I don't know if it was around the Bitter End 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:10.080 or the Red Lion or we never. We didn't really 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:14.400 do that growing up. But it's as I've gotten older, 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:17.320 I've been to a few shows downtown and it's it's 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:20.720 the energy where it's in a little place, but it's 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:23.280 still electric and it's even more special than the big 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:26.600 arenas because you feel this connection. But I don't think 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:30.000 a lot of people realize, Oh, I'm so glad you do. Yeah, 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:32.480 that's exactly it. That was what I came up. That 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:34.680 was the scene that I came up in, and that 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:39.280 infused how I look at arena shows now, Like the 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:42.679 the smallness and the intimacy and the connection of those 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:46.080 tiny little clubs that were like candle it where you know, 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:48.280 maybe it was like five or ten people in them. 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:52.200 Sometimes I was playing um piano like covers for three 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:55.160 hours to try to make my rent, but it was 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:57.599 there'd be this like electric moments if I played a 0:08:57.720 --> 0:09:01.000 song that everyone loved, where every one singing along in 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:03.679 some stuffy, tiny little New York City bar, and it's 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:07.840 the most magical that I felt like. I saw Julia 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:10.040 Michael's um it was more than there was a couple 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:12.200 hundred people, but it was still in the small venue 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:16.040 in downtown New York, and it was she went into 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:19.400 the audience and it was she was singing her song Anxiety, 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:21.720 which I was like the first song. I was like, whoa, 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:25.680 I relate to this and everyone started screaming and it 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:27.560 was like the most Matt. I felt like it was 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:31.120 magic and I've never experienced that before, and I think 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:33.720 that's the power of music. Do you remember when you 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:41.400 first realize, you know, like music, I want to do this. Um. Yeah. 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:43.880 I was in Trinidad at the time. So I went 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:49.600 to school at Trinity College in Connecticut, and um, I 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:52.720 wasn't doing it, wasn't pursuing music. I didn't really grow 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:55.920 up with the belief that, like, I was that special 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:58.200 or talented. I grew up in outside of Boston and 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:02.600 it was really heavily on education, like go to graduate school, 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:05.240 be serious. I didn't really know a lot of artists 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:09.520 and so that that path didn't seem like very realistic 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:11.520 for me. And I also wasn't I wasn't like always 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:14.480 getting the solos. I wasn't like that I had a 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:19.880 good voice. It was fine, my parents liked it, but yeah, yeah, 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:22.880 it's really nice. Um. But I went to Trinidad when 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:25.840 I was a junior because there was some presentation in 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:28.360 one of my international relations classes. I was international relations 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:31.960 major by the way, in case you're curious, and I 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:34.720 was in one of my classes. They were they did 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:37.440 a presentation on carnival in Trinidad, and they were like, 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:41.720 music infuses all of Trinidad. In life, music is the 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:44.120 soul and the heartbeat and something in me. I mean, 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:47.160 I've always been inquires acapella groups and I played piano 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:49.000 since I was five, and so music was a part 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:51.320 of my life, but I'd never put it first. And 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:55.200 hearing this presentation and feeling the pulse of of a 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:58.800 country that was like kind of born on music and 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:02.320 spoken music and you know, I don't know, something lit 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:03.640 up in me and I was like, I need to 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:06.120 go there, and so I went to Trinidad for an 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:09.440 abroad program. I ended up staying throughout the summer and 0:11:09.480 --> 0:11:12.640 I joined a band when I was there, and it 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:17.079 was a SOACA band, which is soul meets calypso and um. 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:21.000 I ended up my first real concert concert was on 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:23.800 stage in front of eighty thousand people at the International 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:30.520 SACA Monarch Finals. Bananas. Okay. I did not feel intimidated. 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:32.040 So I got on the stage and all of a sudden, 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:34.120 I felt this. I don't know if you felt this 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:35.959 moment in your life. Actually you probably have because you're 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:38.520 doing it. But I felt this moment of true calling, 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:42.640 like I am exactly where I'm supposed to be, this 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.719 is who I am. I was not able to hear 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:48.840 it before because I was scared, But oh my goodness, 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:50.520 this is what I'm supposed to do with my life. 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:53.960 And like light lightbulbs went off everywhere and I was like, 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:55.480 I need that mic in the front of the stage. 0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:58.960 Obviously I didn't go grab it, but that the most 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:02.840 magical thing because I know exactly what you're talking about. 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:05.200 After I have like one of my first interviews, I 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:08.280 was like, WHOA, I don't know what this feeling is, 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:11.080 but this feels like I I feel like at home 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:14.400 in a weird way. Yes it's a weird feeling, but 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:17.360 it's great, Sammy. You know how lucky you are to 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:23.400 have that feeling so young. It's really a gift. It 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.280 just feels like I feel like I've always been a 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.880 lot older than my age, even when I was young, 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:31.559 and I feel like I was like a third year 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:34.840 old in a twelve year old body. Um and so 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:39.959 I never really I didn't like the middle school to 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:45.200 high school, just the priorities, the shenanigans, a gossip, it 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:49.720 was so um ridiculous to me getting swarmed up and 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:52.240 wondering about who's invited to this party? And I always 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:55.079 felt like there's something so much bigger going on. Um 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:58.120 and I just that's how I created my podcast. My 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:00.520 anxiety was an all time low of my sophomore and 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:02.920 if you have anxiety, probably know distraction can be your 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:07.600 best friend. Um And so I started listening to podcasts 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:10.040 and I couldn't find anything I related to. So then 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:14.160 I decided to create one just for fun, because again, distraction. 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:17.720 Here we are today. It's season two. Oh my god, 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:22.120 that's very incredible. Wow. I hope my daughter's like you. 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:24.720 I really do. And it's it's all that my husband 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:28.319 and I wish for her is that she um find 0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:30.480 something that she loves and we don't care what it is, 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.520 but that she pours her heart into it. And honestly, 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:35.280 I know it. It is hard. And I felt the 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:38.199 same way growing up, like I don't quite fit in 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:40.720 to the to the agenda here. I don't get it. 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:43.440 In middle school, I wasn't very popular. Um. I haven't 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:45.079 really told anyone this part before. I don't think I 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:48.600 was ever asked, but I wasn't bullied, But I just 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:52.800 no one. I wasn't like I just I just didn't 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:55.200 get it. But you know, the kids were like smoking 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:58.160 cigarettes under the bleachers before school because that was cool. 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:01.079 And see if for your work it was vaping in 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:04.880 the bathroom, that's what the equivalent was, don't kids, don't 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:06.719 don't do it and don't do any of it. It's 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.679 just like, or you can if that's your truth, We're 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:13.520 not judging for you. But if that's your truth, maybe 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.520 everyone has to take their own path to getting to 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:18.560 where they are. But you know, for me and I 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:20.360 would like I just didn't get it. I was like, 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:22.320 why are we doing this? Why can't we be kind? Like? 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:24.760 Why is it being nice cool? Why isn't there things 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:28.200 happened trying? Why isn't trying cool? Like I was. I 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:29.800 wanted to do well with my homework and do well 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:32.760 inquired and it was so dorky. And I was always 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:35.760 petrified of like authority. I was the one I couldn't 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:38.680 skip lunch if they counted. I was that okay back, 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:41.880 yeah me too. I was so afraid of I still 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:45.400 this way if anyone I'm so sensitive that if anyone 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:48.480 say sizes me, I will just burst into tears. It's 0:14:48.520 --> 0:14:52.360 like so ridiculous. I honestly this is like one of 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:54.880 my favorite things because when I started the podcast, I 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:57.200 just felt so alone. And I've realized people that I 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.800 look up to an artist like you, you know, where 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:03.640 so similar people don't realize that you're human. And I 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:06.920 feel like, if you have any type of social media following, 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:09.720 you're put on this pedestal as if you're not a human. 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:13.440 And it makes me so mad. So I how have 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:16.600 you dealt with that? The social media fakeness and all that. 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:19.160 I have a love hate relationship right now with social media. 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:21.440 I'm saying I'm not doing a great job with it. 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:24.240 I mean, thank you, I'm so glad that you feel 0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:26.960 like I am I And I get so many comments 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:28.640 like that, actually, like, thank you so much for keeping 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:30.960 it real. But the truth is I I've watched myself 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:35.320 like lose followers since not playing the right game, like 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:37.800 since not posting like the cute outfits and like the 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.840 perfect makeup and like the things that I was posting before. 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:43.480 And I've watched myself lose followers, and it hurts my 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:45.880 soul because I'm like, wait, I'm doing the wrong thing, 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:47.760 but I'm actually doing the right thing because I'm speaking 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:50.280 my truth and just like being like, hey today I 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.440 feel like shit or today I'm anxious or sorry for 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:57.960 this work today, I'm weaking curse on here. Okay, I 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:00.680 don't know, Like I I struggle with it because on 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.240 the one hand, sometimes I wake up and I'm like, oh, dang, 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:06.040 I have a platform. It's my responsibility to share how 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:10.080 I feel. But but you're too that wants privacy at 0:16:10.080 --> 0:16:12.560 the same time, I want privacy right now, especially because 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:16.240 I'm going through a lot and I'm making an album 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:18.160 and I really don't know how to do the same 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:20.320 to them at the same time, like I don't understand 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:23.840 the artists. More power to them that can continually create 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:27.520 content and fill their wells enough to create maybe the 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:32.040 kind of creating I do. Um. I don't hope. I 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:34.480 don't mean to sound I'm not special than more special 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:37.120 in other artists. But I go really, really deep. I 0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:39.400 like to have there like journal injuries. A lot of 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:42.040 artists do this. But for some reason for me, maybe 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:45.280 I don't know. At least this time I've been I've 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:47.400 had to excavate so much and almost go into this 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.280 cocoon to really like go through my dark knight of 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.560 the soul and and feel like I don't know, becoming 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:56.920 a mother all these changes, dealing with fame whatever, you know, 0:16:57.720 --> 0:17:00.280 the highs and lows of all of it. Um I 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.560 really had to go deep and it's been really hard 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:06.040 for me honestly to then share publicly at the same time. 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:10.440 So have a good day, friends, I'm doing great. I 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:12.800 don't know if I'm doing a job right now. I'm trying, 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.080 but it's fine that you're not doing your best. I'm 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:17.479 in a weird place to a social media where you know, 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:22.520 I'm trying to think of it more as um as 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:25.399 for my career then for like being a team. But 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:27.960 at the same time, I am eighteen years old and 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:30.320 then I do have that social media pressure of anxiety 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:33.440 and seeing having Polo and all that. So I'm trying 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:36.199 to find this balance where I need to grow in 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:40.199 order to technically have be more successful because you know, 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:43.480 companies look at your followers at the same time my 0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:46.440 much real health. I try not to look at it. 0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:49.240 I am the same way. It's really really tough. I 0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:52.359 wonder how many people listening feel the same way that 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:55.720 we do and wish there was a solution, because I mean, 0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:58.399 I feel like there's more of us than just you, 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:00.720 and I feel like it's a really talk. It's not 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:03.600 talked about. I know, I try to talk about it, 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:07.560 and then I feel like, oh, I guess I shouldn't 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:10.159 criticize social media. On social media, that's a little silly. 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:12.360 But I know what you mean. But you know what 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:15.480 I think that I've watched. Also, I've also watched friends 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:18.520 who are really have excellent mental health and excellent relationships 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:20.960 social media. I've tried to learn from them a little 0:18:20.960 --> 0:18:23.560 bit more. And and when I'm really when maybe i'm 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:27.320 not creating like an album, I'm better balanced and able 0:18:27.359 --> 0:18:29.040 to live able. I'm able to live my life and 0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:31.040 share my life at the same time. At the same time, 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:33.199 You've two year old and you're creating an album and 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:39.120 you're in a pandemic girl, thank you Sammy. People need 0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:42.560 to realize that it's this weird. You know, someone gave 0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:45.960 me advice. They said, um, the best thing to do 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:50.239 is share, and then observe, share observed, share observed. And 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:55.040 the observe is not observe what hurts you or what 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:56.960 makes you feel bad, but observe how it all makes 0:18:56.960 --> 0:19:00.359 you feel. So like, for instance, if I'm following and 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:03.520 I'm following a ton of fellow musicians, I'll feel fomo too. 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:05.880 You know, I'm I didn't grow out of it either. 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:08.200 I don't know that we ever truly do. And I'll 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:10.640 look and I'll be like, oh, dang, they're doing this, 0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:13.000 or they look how keep they look? Look at their 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:19.120 abste you know, just whatever, just the feeling that we're 0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:23.280 all we all have. UM. I use my meditation practice 0:19:23.320 --> 0:19:27.560 then to watch that feeling. And this is where I 0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:29.679 actually do want to share a little meditation thing with you. 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:33.000 This is what I think, um her meditation can be 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:35.960 really beautiful because it isn't necessarily about trying to quiet 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:39.080 your mind. For me, it's about watching my mind and 0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:42.600 being the observer because the waves of our minds are 0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:45.119 going to keep going. You know, they're not going to 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:49.919 ever stop that shatter that anxiety. That's just what a 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:52.920 mind does. It's natural. It's called monkey mind and Buddhism, 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:56.199 it's just what a mind does. I love that. It's okay, 0:19:56.280 --> 0:19:59.239 you don't need to stop it. But what meditation has 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:01.720 helped me do is realize that I am not the mind. 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:05.080 I am not those waves going up and down. I 0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:07.879 am actually part of the ocean. I am the ocean 0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:12.520 watching them. And so I think beneath the thoughts and meditation, 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:14.879 I just let them go on, but I just go 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:20.200 to a deeper place that's beautiful. Wow, thank you. Okay, 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:21.840 we have to take a quick break, but when we 0:20:21.880 --> 0:20:23.600 come back, I want to take you up on your 0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:27.120 offer to try some meditation during this conversation, I also 0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:29.080