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Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I am Dramas And this is the Street

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Speaker 1: Stoic Podcast, your daily dose of timeless stoic philosophy remixed

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Speaker 1: for the hip hop generation. We're combining ancient philosophy with

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Speaker 1: lyrics and quotes from some of the greatest who ever

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Speaker 1: grace a microphone. Now, with that in mind, let's get

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Speaker 1: things started with your daily shot of inspiration. Now today

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Speaker 1: we're gonna be focusing around the stoic idea of the

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Speaker 1: stoic value of focusing on what you can control. And

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Speaker 1: I pulled a record from one of my favorite artists,

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Speaker 1: one of my all time favorite artists, Kid cut the

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Speaker 1: and this one just immediately came to mind when I

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Speaker 1: was thinking about this this concept for today's show, and

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Speaker 1: it's from the song Up Up in a Way, and

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Speaker 1: Cutty says, I'll never let a motherfucker break me. Dog

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Speaker 1: who gives a fuck? If a man don't like your tees,

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Speaker 1: tell them to buzz off your n U t s

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Speaker 1: we don't care what people say. And then in the

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Speaker 1: hook he goes on to say, because in the end

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Speaker 1: they'll judge me anyway, so whatever. So I think that

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Speaker 1: this is is very obvious when it comes to the

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Speaker 1: idea of not allowing others opinion to dictate how you

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Speaker 1: choose to live your life or how you show up

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Speaker 1: in in everyday life. Right, And we've all heard that

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Speaker 1: a million in one times, right to not allow other

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Speaker 1: people to bother us, not allow others opinion to bother us.

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Speaker 1: But when it comes to the stoic idea of focusing

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Speaker 1: on what you can control, the reality is we cannot

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Speaker 1: control the opinions of other people, right. The only thing

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Speaker 1: we're in control of is how how they affect us.

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Speaker 1: And when you think about life and you think about

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Speaker 1: some of the most influential figures in whatever you know

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Speaker 1: aspect of life or whatever industry, whatever time period, when

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Speaker 1: you think about the people that ended up changing the world,

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Speaker 1: or at least ended up changing their world, more often

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Speaker 1: than not, they were ostracized first for being different and

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Speaker 1: then celebrated later on down the road once people caught up.

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Speaker 1: And I think, unfortunately society is sort of set up

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Speaker 1: in that way, right. It wants all of us to

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Speaker 1: kind of fit into this particular box, and it makes

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Speaker 1: us a waste a lot of time striving to be liked,

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Speaker 1: and we end up kind of holding onto the idea

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Speaker 1: of of being liked as something that is more important

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Speaker 1: than than our own happiness, right, we we oftentimes sacrifice

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Speaker 1: our own happiness for the sake of the approval of others,

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Speaker 1: or you know, trying to fit in with a particular group.

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Speaker 1: And you know, this obviously happens as as kids, but

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Speaker 1: I think it's it's far more present in our adult

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Speaker 1: life than many of us would even care to admit. Now,

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Speaker 1: this idea of focusing on what you can control, and

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Speaker 1: this quote from Cutting about not allowing the opinions of

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Speaker 1: others to bother you, this lends itself into a quote

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Speaker 1: from Marcus Aurelius, and he says, quote, if you are

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Speaker 1: distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to

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Speaker 1: the thing itself, but to your estimate of it. And

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Speaker 1: this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

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Speaker 1: He's saying that you have the ability to decide if

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Speaker 1: whatever somebody's opinion of you is, whatever you know, nasty

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Speaker 1: thing they've said about you, You have the ability to

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Speaker 1: decide whether or not this disturbs your inner peace. Right,

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Speaker 1: and I think beyond that, you have a duty to

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Speaker 1: yourself to be able to show up authentically, because that's

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Speaker 1: what real life and real fulfillment come from you know,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of the outside opinions are are just noise, right,

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Speaker 1: They're just people pushing their own limitations or their own

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Speaker 1: skewed view of the world onto you, and unfortunately, myself included,

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Speaker 1: we oftentimes allow that to dictate how we live our life.

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Speaker 1: You Know, this is a concept that I relate to

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Speaker 1: on an incredibly deep level because it kind of speaks

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Speaker 1: to a breakthrough that I've been been kind of having

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Speaker 1: over these last couple of months. And for me, it

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Speaker 1: took a long time for me to walk proudly in

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Speaker 1: my authenticity. And I've mentioned on the show before how

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Speaker 1: when I began to do that is when doors opened

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Speaker 1: up for me and and why I get to sit

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Speaker 1: here today doing a show like this one. Right, But

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Speaker 1: I was reflecting on my life growing up and the

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Speaker 1: friend group that I had growing up, and some of

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Speaker 1: them are good people, but I also recognized the fact

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Speaker 1: that as a kid, I didn't have the confidence to

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Speaker 1: fully show up as myself. Right. I was always kind

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Speaker 1: of changing and doing things or saying things or acting

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Speaker 1: a certain way to appeal to a particular group of

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Speaker 1: people to make them accept me. To to have them

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Speaker 1: welcome me into their group. And I held parts of

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Speaker 1: myself back for a very long time, and I realized

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Speaker 1: how much that was a hindrance on my early adult

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Speaker 1: life because I kept doing that, I kept sort of

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Speaker 1: creating that same exact cycle and that same dynamic with

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Speaker 1: different groups of people that I would meet. You know,

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Speaker 1: I kept just trying to be liked, right, and and

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Speaker 1: it didn't allow me to stick out from the crowd

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Speaker 1: in the way that I would have, you know, professionally,

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Speaker 1: had I have just had the the you know, confidence

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Speaker 1: in myself to to show up unapologetically as myself, authentically right.

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Speaker 1: And it's interesting to me thinking back on that, and

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Speaker 1: not thinking back with regret, but more so looking at

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Speaker 1: it as a lesson that had I have sort of

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Speaker 1: said to myself, well, if this group of friends doesn't

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Speaker 1: accept me, you know how I am right now as

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Speaker 1: I am, maybe I should go on to find another

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Speaker 1: group that would embrace me. Right. And for me, it

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Speaker 1: was I guess, being in our this and a creative

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Speaker 1: and the people around me not understanding that and not

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Speaker 1: valuing that, and again not with you know, regret, but

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Speaker 1: with a bit of wanting to learn a lesson. I

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Speaker 1: think to myself, how much further I'd be along in

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Speaker 1: my journey right now as far as getting in touch

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Speaker 1: with the authentic version of myself, had I had that

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Speaker 1: sort of confidence to say, you know what, I want

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Speaker 1: to go where I'm celebrated not tolerated, right, And that's

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Speaker 1: something that I've really tried to stick into my mind

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Speaker 1: going forward in my adult life, and it's something that

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Speaker 1: I try to check myself on now and make sure

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Speaker 1: that I'm showing up authentically and and understanding that I'm

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Speaker 1: at my best when I'm not holding any parts of

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Speaker 1: myself back. My internal greatness, my happiness all come from me,

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Speaker 1: you know, showing up in the way that comes most

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Speaker 1: natural to me. And there are gonna be some people

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Speaker 1: who love it. They're gonna be others who hate it,

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Speaker 1: and I can't be concerned with either, you know. I

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Speaker 1: just have to do what makes me happy and feels

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Speaker 1: the most like myself. And I've said this many times.

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Speaker 1: That's when doors begin and to really open for me,

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Speaker 1: both in my my personal life, you know, finding friends

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Speaker 1: that I had really deep relationships with, finding the romantic

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Speaker 1: relationship that I've always been searching for as well, as

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Speaker 1: my career and and doors opening in ways that allowed

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Speaker 1: me to create the type of content that I felt

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Speaker 1: passionate about, right to speak to people and hopefully inspire

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Speaker 1: people in the way that that I want to authentically

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Speaker 1: Right again, it all starts with having that confidence in

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Speaker 1: not allowing yourself to change based upon the opinions of others.

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Speaker 1: Now we've heard from from Kid Cutty, We've heard from

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Speaker 1: Marcus Aurelius. I've talked about how this whole concept has

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Speaker 1: been wildly influential on my life and both good and

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Speaker 1: bad ways. Now let's talk about how you can make

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Speaker 1: it your mantra for today. But first let's take a

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Speaker 1: quick break and then we'll be right back. All right,

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Speaker 1: So you've heard the words from one of my favorites,

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Speaker 1: Kid Cutty. You have heard the words from one of

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Speaker 1: these stoics, Mark is there really is. I've also shared

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Speaker 1: with you a bit of my story and the journey

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Speaker 1: that I've been on over these last few years, these

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Speaker 1: last few months. Right now, I want to talk about

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Speaker 1: how you can adapt this concept of focusing on what

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Speaker 1: you can control, but in regards to not allowing the

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Speaker 1: opinions of others to affect how you show up in

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Speaker 1: this world, right? And I think if first and foremost

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Speaker 1: starts with as many things do taking inventory of your life, right,

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Speaker 1: what parts of your life are you not able to

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Speaker 1: show up as your full self? And this also goes

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Speaker 1: for relationships, right, Like what relationships do you have in

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Speaker 1: your life that you're not able to show up as

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Speaker 1: your full self in? And I think that it's it's

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Speaker 1: easy to to sort of get caught up, especially when

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Speaker 1: you have a lot of those older relationships, right. You

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Speaker 1: have those friends that you've known since high school that

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Speaker 1: you sort of just hang out out of habit at

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Speaker 1: this point, or you stay in contact because it just

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Speaker 1: feels like the right thing to do, even though you

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Speaker 1: know those people don't necessarily bring out the best in you,

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Speaker 1: and you don't necessarily feel like they have maybe own

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Speaker 1: on the same path as you. You know, we we

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Speaker 1: oftentimes just feel like we owe them something. And I

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Speaker 1: think what we have to recognize is boundaries are incredibly important, right,

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Speaker 1: Saying no is incredibly important, and making sure that you're

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Speaker 1: going somewhere that you're celebrated is of course incredibly important.

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Speaker 1: All of this is a matter of self love. All

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Speaker 1: of this is a matter of self respect. You have

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Speaker 1: to really get down and ask yourself, like, do you

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Speaker 1: love having this person in your life more than you

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Speaker 1: love yourself? Right? And that that's It might sound dramatic,

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Speaker 1: but that's really what it is. What it comes down to,

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Speaker 1: any space, any person where you're not able to show

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Speaker 1: up fully as yourself is an act essentially of of

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Speaker 1: men treason against the the beautiful human being that's inside

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Speaker 1: of you. And you have to understand that. And I

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Speaker 1: know it might, you know, sort of sound overly serious

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Speaker 1: to some people, and they might think it's not that deep,

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Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, it is right

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Speaker 1: because our our time here on this earth goes by

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Speaker 1: incredibly fast, and you don't want to waste any of

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Speaker 1: it unnecessarily. The reality is that you'll never be too

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Speaker 1: much for the right person or the right people right,

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Speaker 1: So so why are you trying to dim yourself down

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Speaker 1: to fit into somebody else's box or to make somebody

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Speaker 1: else comfortable, or to make a particular situation work. Right.

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Speaker 1: If there's one thing that you adapt from this idea,

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Speaker 1: you know, recognize that taking inventory of parts of your

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Speaker 1: life or relationships where you're not able to show up fully.

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Speaker 1: This is all a form of self love and self respect,

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Speaker 1: and you have to make a choice. Are you going

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Speaker 1: to allow yourself to love the opinion of someone else

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Speaker 1: over your own happiness? And ask yourself that today as

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Speaker 1: you think about these concepts that we've discussed. Now, with

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Speaker 1: that said, thank you all so much for checking out

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Speaker 1: the Streets Stoic podcast. Do your best to apply these

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Speaker 1: concepts to your daily life and I'll catch you all

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Speaker 1: next time. The Street Stoke Podcast is a production of

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Speaker 1: Iheart's Michael Dura Podcast Networks