1 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to j dot IM, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:14,160 Speaker 1: What's Up, Everybody? It is the lady Jill Scott, your girl, 3 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,640 Speaker 1: Jil's got the woman, Jill Scott, Queen Joel's got all 4 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:21,319 Speaker 1: of Jill Scott. Leave me. I don't know what you 5 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,760 Speaker 1: all we're doing. I'm not even sure what I'm doing 6 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: right now. I've had a series of tears and laughter 7 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: and staring off in the space. Baby, it has been. 8 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: It has been a whoa. I mean when somebody hit 9 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:45,920 Speaker 1: you with the he he you know what hit he? 10 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 1: Man is something. I'm sitting here with my my beautiful 11 00:00:52,440 --> 00:01:08,320 Speaker 1: sister friends Lah sat Clair. Oh that's what I'm sorry, 12 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,759 Speaker 1: Hey y'all, Sorry, my bad, I'm stuck bad. Hey y'all. 13 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 1: What she said? So this one if everything? I want 14 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 1: to know her whole name. Okay, you're going to know 15 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,760 Speaker 1: her whole name, and you're gonna know same Claire. Okay, 16 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: because I say it, You're gonna do mytys it. Honey, 17 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: who's your great danceler? Send a text message? Listen that 18 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: we boys, we were quite ready for it. We were ready. 19 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 1: We weren't ready to talk about it. I had to 20 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: read the message. A couple of times, and then I 21 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: was trying to text back but it wasn't good enough. 22 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: It just it just wasn't good enough. And I called her. 23 00:01:55,520 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: M I'm called her. I'm about to say I ain't 24 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: even text back. I'm about to say Jill Right. It 25 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,360 Speaker 1: was like that that meme, you know, so that guy 26 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: says I still love you and the father goes, what 27 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 1: that's what happened. I just burst into tears. She did, 28 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: I did. I was crying. Hall was crying. I wasn't 29 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,519 Speaker 1: because it was so much all at once. Yes, Yeah, 30 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: that was a lot, all at once. Yeah, it was 31 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: a lot. You're gonna a lot? Would yall like to 32 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: know what the what the news is? Yeah? Dropping on 33 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: him as confidently and as sure as you dropped it 34 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: on us, because she dropped it like listen, I'm just 35 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: gonna tell you well, ladies and gentlemen, I Ada graydon Danceler, 36 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: your girl. It's going to be a nana, anana, a grandma. 37 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 1: I'm my mom a yeah, y'ah me mother of six, 38 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: grandmother of one. It's about to be on and do 39 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: you understand me? But it's not at this point. You 40 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: cannot play with me. At this point all things have 41 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: to go through me. At this point, I'm no longer 42 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 1: a mother, but a matriarch. Please address me, address my 43 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: ship properly. Thank you. Listen, listen. If they need to 44 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: call me my dear, they need to call me my dear. Whatever. 45 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: The excitement in my soul and in my bosom is 46 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 1: that of a person who understands and recognizes the power 47 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: of legacy. And this child is going to be the 48 00:03:54,160 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: first great grandchild on um on my out of the family, 49 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: and it's the first grandchild on both his mother and 50 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: father's side, and he is the child of the oldest 51 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: girl child on in my family, on my with my 52 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 1: husband and my side. I mean, this is there's a 53 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:20,679 Speaker 1: lot of first with this baby, I feel. I mean, listen, 54 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: let me just tell you to like the force is 55 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: strong with this one. I just want you all to know. 56 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: This is just where I'm at with you. So I'm 57 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: feeling I'm feeling really really good. I'm feeling good good. 58 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:43,159 Speaker 1: But yeah, like, so you know, my oldest daughter is 59 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,279 Speaker 1: twenty years old. I was twenty when I had my 60 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: oldest child. I was the same age as my daughter. 61 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,919 Speaker 1: And I recognize that I don't I mean, I don't know. 62 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 1: For some people. I guess for a handful of people 63 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,040 Speaker 1: out there, they're gonna look at as being a young 64 00:04:54,080 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: mother what she is. But for me, I I'm just 65 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: like mm hmm, my mom just rose so hard. For me. 66 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,719 Speaker 1: It's like it's saddle up beach, It's time. That's just 67 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: the way. That's where I'm at. I got my bags, 68 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 1: I got my I got my my saddle, my horse, 69 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:21,720 Speaker 1: I got all my ship. I'm ready ready. You know, 70 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:28,239 Speaker 1: we raw dog around shine already. It was a pretty 71 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: raw dog around here. So you know, I remember a 72 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 1: friend called me and congratulations. By the way, this is 73 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. Yes, friend of mine called me and 74 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: told me that his daughter was pregnant, and we just cried. 75 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: We just we just cried. But it wasn't exactly a 76 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: happy cry. It wasn't a happy cry because there was 77 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 1: you know, this, these are the thoughts I'm just much 78 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:04,040 Speaker 1: to say it, like, she she's young, they're not together, 79 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 1: you know, um, not that that means everything, but you know, 80 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:12,239 Speaker 1: she really hadn't had she got a scholarship for school, 81 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 1: and now that's kind of she played sports, so that 82 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,279 Speaker 1: meant that that was out of the window and we 83 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: just we cried because the there was so much, so 84 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:31,480 Speaker 1: much writing I think on her um having this awesome future. 85 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: And and please don't get me wrong, please anybody that's 86 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 1: listening here, don't get me wrong. Um, because people have 87 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: children and thrive beautifully. Sometimes a child is the exact 88 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: thing that the person needs in order to flourish, gives 89 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:52,360 Speaker 1: them a sense of purpose and the grounding that can 90 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 1: absolutely leap over mountains. And that's that's that's no cat 91 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: at all. How did you how did you? How did 92 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:03,359 Speaker 1: you see this? I mean, you know, I want to 93 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,240 Speaker 1: be like really transparent and without what also respecting my 94 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 1: daughter's privacy in the sense that you know, my daughter 95 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: is not married, you know, so that but I need 96 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 1: y'all to understand that that fact is not at at 97 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 1: any point like an issue for for me, you know. 98 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 1: But I recognized that that's an issue for a lot 99 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: of people, you know, it isn't for me. I mean, 100 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: as far as I'm concerned, it's like we are, We're 101 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: a group of human beings, and we're all doing what 102 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: human beings do. They connect with each other, sometimes they 103 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: have sex, and sometimes that sex produces a baby. I 104 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 1: was having those same types of relations with her father, 105 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: and we were not married, So at any point during 106 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 1: that time period, I could have become a mother and 107 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: not been married, you know, and not been asked to 108 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 1: get married, you know. And so the way I look 109 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 1: at it is just kind of like, you know, I 110 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: don't want to I want to be careful in this moment. 111 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: Also because I recognized that there are a lot of 112 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 1: that being a single mother, for being a mother period 113 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: is a is a is a huge challenge. But being 114 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 1: a single mother is um deeply challenging. And all of 115 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 1: the women I've ever discussed this with, whether they had 116 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: active families or active fathers or whatever, have all expressed 117 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 1: that this is a challenge. But I always look at 118 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: it like this. You know, being a woman is a challenge, 119 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 1: being a mother is a challenge. All of these things 120 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: will have you waken up one day saying why the 121 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 1: fuck did I do this? Why am I? I don't 122 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: even want to be a mother today? And I know 123 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: that that and I we have to normalize these feelings 124 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: because as women, we put so much pressure on ourselves 125 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 1: to be a thing, to be associated with a thing, 126 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,439 Speaker 1: in order to get people's respect, in order to give 127 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 1: people's love and people's reverence. Here's the bottom line. Every body, 128 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: and when I say body, I mean the physical body. 129 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: Every single body is not capable of holding a baby. 130 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: And if your body does that and a baby becomes 131 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 1: a part of your body, that is a sacred act, 132 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: a beautiful act to which we all have to celebrate, 133 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:21,199 Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, life is a celebration. 134 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:25,080 Speaker 1: The purpose is not always in just the mother. The 135 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 1: purposes in that person who came to be, because that 136 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 1: person didn't have to come to be. That person could 137 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: have just not came. Many of us have had plenty 138 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: sex in our lives that a baby did not come from. 139 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: So that wasn't a thing that was a given and 140 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: so once that comes into play, I just for me, 141 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 1: it's not even about politics around if you with somebody 142 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,480 Speaker 1: or if y'all y'all have married or whatever. Somebody can 143 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,960 Speaker 1: really be a trash boyfriend or a trash husband and 144 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: still be a good father. Those things are not Those 145 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: things don't always go together, and sometimes you can be 146 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 1: a trash mother. I mean, listen, life, I don't know 147 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,559 Speaker 1: if I'm talking in circles or what. Because my heart 148 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 1: is my heart. Life is just fucking messy. And it's like, 149 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: and if we keep on throwing this stuff in women's 150 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 1: laps when they have to focus on making a person, 151 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,559 Speaker 1: then all they're gonna doubly gonna do is continue to 152 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: stress people out. I really don't care about whether or 153 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,959 Speaker 1: not she's married. I don't care about whether your kid 154 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 1: is married. I don't care about none of that, ship, 155 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 1: none of that. I want healthy human beings around me. 156 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 1: So that means that I want my child to be 157 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 1: a healthy, happy person. I want her child to be 158 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: a healthy, happy person. I want the child's father to 159 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,920 Speaker 1: be a healthy and happy person. And everything that I 160 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 1: can do to facilitate that health and that happiness amongst 161 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 1: those three people, I will do. And I will do 162 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,439 Speaker 1: that because I know that I, in my life, am 163 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 1: invested in the health and happiness of these people because 164 00:10:56,559 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 1: they're responsible for the continuation of my bloodline. So I'm 165 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: not worried about what the world has to say, or 166 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,080 Speaker 1: what society has to say or whatever. All of that 167 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: stuff is trash to me. What is gold to me 168 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 1: is what are your needs? How can we meet them? 169 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 1: How can we produce and help to build a family 170 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:22,199 Speaker 1: that is strong, that is spiritually strong, that is self aware, 171 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: who knows who they are, who is grateful, who is proud. 172 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 1: That is what I'm concerned about. This is the that's 173 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 1: this is the building that I'm trying to build, or 174 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: that I would like to assist in building. She's very lucky, 175 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: you know. You know that very exceptionally blessed, because family 176 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: can definitely turn on you when they think that you're 177 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 1: going in the direction that they don't want. They come 178 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 1: around eventually, but it can be very hard for a 179 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: pregnant woman. You know. I think you know, if anybody 180 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:58,560 Speaker 1: is like for pregnant women like YO, take it easy, baby, 181 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,079 Speaker 1: a little more gentle. You might have your thoughts. I'm 182 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,839 Speaker 1: pretty sure you know there there are dark thoughts at 183 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 1: times for some other people, not you age a grade 184 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:11,560 Speaker 1: and Dancler, but for other people, you know, and they 185 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:15,400 Speaker 1: take it out on the young woman. I've seen that actually, 186 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,479 Speaker 1: and I've seen that in my family as well. Um. 187 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 1: You know, someone dear to me um got pregnant before 188 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 1: she left high school and the turn was just it 189 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 1: was just really uncomfortable and and very harsh, you know. Um, 190 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 1: The words were ugly and a that definitely can make 191 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 1: for a not so healthy pregnancy, and this year is 192 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,120 Speaker 1: the goal. You know, we're talking about making sure that 193 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 1: she's happy and and you know, filled with joy as 194 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 1: much as possible. You know, Luckily this body is so young. 195 00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:59,840 Speaker 1: I was like, damn, man, wow, my body is strong. Strong. 196 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:04,679 Speaker 1: You can I say something real quick? Please? Even I 197 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 1: think in this conversation imperiod, you gotta be careful with 198 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,680 Speaker 1: speaking about what do they call it at you young 199 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 1: pregnant young pregnancies or are women who get pregnant at 200 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:18,320 Speaker 1: a young age versus the celebration that Asia is experiencing. 201 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 1: I mean, it's interesting because when we talked about it 202 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 1: and you kind of we talked about it with my 203 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,440 Speaker 1: mom and these different different generations of people, and I 204 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:30,839 Speaker 1: think that it has to be said that Asia's way 205 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 1: of thought is I always thought it's evolutionary, it's revolutionary. 206 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 1: It's beautiful, even in the way where you told us, 207 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: you know, how you got the news and which you 208 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 1: were surrounded by with when you got the news, Like 209 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 1: everything about this situation, I feel and based on all 210 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,280 Speaker 1: these situations, I know when there's been similar you know, 211 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,440 Speaker 1: like Jill said, we all know situations where it doesn't 212 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 1: it doesn't land like this. But that being said, there's 213 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,200 Speaker 1: been a lot of work that has been put in 214 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:06,199 Speaker 1: on agents behalf her family and such to create this environment. 215 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 1: So I just think that we need to kind of 216 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 1: highlight that in a way and make sure that we 217 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,079 Speaker 1: know this too is special. I just I want to 218 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,959 Speaker 1: say special. I don't want to stay different because it 219 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,960 Speaker 1: should be maybe we should. This is a this is 220 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 1: the way we should continue to think more real talk 221 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 1: after the break, I want to tell you a story. 222 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 1: I talked to my aunt Jackie, and um, y'all hear 223 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: me talk about my cousin Yoda. This is Yoda's mama. 224 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 1: Oh okay, So I talked to I talked to my 225 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,480 Speaker 1: aunt Jackie, and I'm like, yeah, you know what I'm 226 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 1: telling her. I'm like, guess what you know? And she's like, oh, God, 227 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 1: bless no, God, bless y'all. D And then she said, 228 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: she said, you know what's so funny. She said, I 229 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 1: love the way you responded to that. She said, you 230 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: know when I got pregnant with d D she said, 231 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 1: I was sixteen. So I was sixteen years old, and 232 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:13,480 Speaker 1: she said, and Nana, my nana um called everybody into 233 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 1: the living room and said nobody has to say anything 234 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 1: negative to her. Nobody is to say a single nasty 235 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: thing to her. No one. She made it clear, and 236 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: so my and Jackie went on to graduate from night school. 237 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 1: Then she went to um U DC and she finished 238 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: up her degree at Howard University, and she became the 239 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:42,720 Speaker 1: first black woman to be appointed to be Assistant Secretary 240 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 1: of the Department of Energy under the first Georgia Bush 241 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 1: while she was mind you pregnant with her second child. 242 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,640 Speaker 1: So I just need people to understand that when you 243 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 1: invest your energy in a mother, any mother, and I 244 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 1: don't care how old that mother is. See, I heard 245 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: a whole lot of things, and I want to be 246 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,720 Speaker 1: clear my daughters a grown woman. But one of the 247 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 1: things I want to be clear about is that my 248 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: my thoughts don't change even if she was a team mother. 249 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,760 Speaker 1: I want everyone to be clear on that my thoughts 250 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 1: would not be different. And the reason why that is 251 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 1: is because the investment in mothers is the investment in children, period. 252 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:28,200 Speaker 1: It is. It's really no difference when you divest from 253 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: a mother because of shame, you are You're killing You're 254 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,040 Speaker 1: killing a part of the world. You're you're putting a 255 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 1: menace into the world a person who is low, who 256 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:42,040 Speaker 1: is who is depressed, who could be violent, who could 257 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:45,239 Speaker 1: be who could fall into the depths of of mental illness. 258 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,560 Speaker 1: These are the things their body could not work properly. 259 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 1: You're you're you're doing a great disservice by doing that. 260 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 1: You're not punishing them for some behavior that you think 261 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 1: is not in line with a social standard, something that 262 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 1: you didn't do. So I always you know, there was 263 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,679 Speaker 1: a thing on the Internet some years ago or social 264 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 1: media where it was like, people shouldn't be celebrating and 265 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:13,640 Speaker 1: throwing baby showers for team mothers. Why not? Why not? 266 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 1: It's interested because some people think it borders on that 267 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 1: team mom culture. One of their most successful shows on TV, 268 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 1: maybe at least Middle America for those the white girls 269 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:27,280 Speaker 1: out there, that this show became popular and more girls 270 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: wanted to be stars like that and start that they 271 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: could do that, and so so once again, once again, 272 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 1: once again, a capitalist social anomaly is not something that 273 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,200 Speaker 1: we need to always base on. What is the situation 274 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,400 Speaker 1: for the larger population. That's number one, and number two, 275 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 1: the issue that a lot of people are having a 276 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 1: problem with is that is whatever was existing prior to 277 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:54,360 Speaker 1: a baby coming. If you feel like a child has 278 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:59,159 Speaker 1: not been taught or protected or nurtured in a certain 279 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:03,879 Speaker 1: way or given a certain amount of information, or that's 280 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 1: the issue, not a baby that's coming. Once a baby 281 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:11,160 Speaker 1: is coming, there's a different kind of you know, responsibility 282 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: to what that actually means. And it doesn't mean to 283 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: punish the mother. It never means punish the mother. It 284 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:24,960 Speaker 1: never means that. It never means it happened never, but 285 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 1: it happens, and it happens a lot. So there's a 286 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:37,679 Speaker 1: showering of shame, a showering of shame. I mean, honey, 287 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: I got it, and I was grown and married. Girl. Listen, 288 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: nobody wanted me to get married. I got married super fast, 289 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,880 Speaker 1: and when I got pregnant, everybody took a deep breath 290 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,399 Speaker 1: like they felt bad for me. I had stopped doing music, 291 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,439 Speaker 1: so it was like, oh, you gave up music and 292 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 1: now you're just gonna be a mother, and blah blah 293 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 1: blah blah blah. I went through the whole YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA, 294 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 1: I went through all of that stuff. I experienced that 295 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,960 Speaker 1: shame on some level. Now that I've been married twenty 296 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,680 Speaker 1: four years, we're in a position where we could see 297 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:16,640 Speaker 1: what's unhealthy and we can change. That's why I called 298 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 1: a revolutionary. That's why I was like and and especially 299 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,639 Speaker 1: revolutionary again because of the work that y'all put in. 300 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 1: Like what she told the Asia said, she said, like 301 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,159 Speaker 1: this baby will be loved, like this baby will be 302 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 1: taken care of. This But it's not even from the jump. 303 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,119 Speaker 1: There was never a moment. I feel like unless Asia, 304 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 1: you had it when you were with your support your girlfriends, 305 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,400 Speaker 1: because I know you had a support system, but when 306 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,880 Speaker 1: you really like had any doubt, like you said, because 307 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: you had that foundation. Girl, Once I was able to 308 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 1: come from my child, I went to the beach by exactly, 309 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,200 Speaker 1: I went to the beach. I went to the beach 310 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,399 Speaker 1: to go get in that ocean and commune with my 311 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,119 Speaker 1: Lord and say thank you. Like that's all it really 312 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,159 Speaker 1: was about. At the end of the day, God is 313 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 1: amazing in the ways and which my family has been blessed, 314 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,679 Speaker 1: and so I'm open to all the possibilities. And I 315 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,359 Speaker 1: know that this doesn't happen for any reason. And I 316 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 1: lost my mother four years ago and now I'm having 317 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 1: new life come into my life. New life girl, Come 318 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,720 Speaker 1: on now, y'all been with me since y'all been with talk. 319 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,399 Speaker 1: We've been having these talks now for months. Y'all have 320 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,959 Speaker 1: been through this last few months with me. Y'all know 321 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:29,720 Speaker 1: what this means to me, that this past June redefining 322 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,119 Speaker 1: my mother's memory in a time when I lost my 323 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:36,120 Speaker 1: mother and redefining that time with my daughter, and then 324 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: to find out pretty much right after that that I 325 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 1: was going to be a grandmother, y'all. I mean to 326 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,919 Speaker 1: have to be out of the country, in in a 327 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 1: space with my sisterhood and my friends and my family, 328 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,000 Speaker 1: and then find this out in the comfort of my sisterhood. Girl, 329 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,159 Speaker 1: it was beautiful. It was like meant to It was 330 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,479 Speaker 1: meant to be the way it was right. And I 331 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,200 Speaker 1: want to say this because I want to be really, 332 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: really really careful about this my daughter, and again with 333 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,119 Speaker 1: full respect to her privacy, but I do feel like 334 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:12,160 Speaker 1: I want to mention it. My daughter is still experiencing 335 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:19,399 Speaker 1: a myriad of emotions. Mm hmm. There's joy, there is fear, 336 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 1: there's regret. There's a whole lot of different things going 337 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:29,120 Speaker 1: on in her as a woman, and she has the 338 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 1: right to feel the full breadth of her emotions. She 339 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,120 Speaker 1: has a right to do that, and this is how 340 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,440 Speaker 1: she will learn and grow into being an amazing mother 341 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,640 Speaker 1: by allowing herself the room to be a human. And 342 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,960 Speaker 1: I will do everything that I can to create a 343 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 1: space where she can do that, because that is the 344 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,359 Speaker 1: woman I want her to be, and that is the 345 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:54,919 Speaker 1: mother that I want her to be, and I'm praying 346 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,880 Speaker 1: that she will be. But I know that even I 347 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: can't control that. Even I can I create, you know, 348 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 1: or try to create this perfect environment. What I know 349 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: is that all I can do is show up as 350 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:10,719 Speaker 1: the person that I say I'm showing up as, so 351 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 1: that one day when I'm not here, someone can tell 352 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 1: the story about how my great grandmother or my grandmother, 353 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:20,439 Speaker 1: when my mother or my grandmother was going to have 354 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 1: a baby, my my grandmother or my great grandmother says, 355 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,960 Speaker 1: what do you need or how can I be of 356 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:32,240 Speaker 1: service to you? That's that's how I want to show 357 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,639 Speaker 1: up as a person, and I'm going to and I 358 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 1: have and I will continue to. And I know that 359 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,920 Speaker 1: God will strengthen me. And I know that God was 360 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: strengthening me because I know He already has. Now He 361 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:51,879 Speaker 1: the entity that is God has already strengthened me, so 362 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 1: you know, I don't give a funk what nobody thinks 363 00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 1: about that. Now, now back to this name you're about 364 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:06,640 Speaker 1: to be called, though, Let's hold up. Let's get into 365 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:11,560 Speaker 1: these names. About the hashta let's go. The hashtag is sexy, y'all, y'all. 366 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,879 Speaker 1: Let's get into it, okay. And now my kids basically 367 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,199 Speaker 1: called me sexy, y'all, y'all. Now they actually put a 368 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: sexy on there, which I found. It's lovely for me. Actually, 369 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: I didn't intend for them to just call me sexy. Y'all, y'all, 370 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 1: but at this point, when I get dressed in the 371 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 1: morning and I come that day, okay, sexy ya yeah, yes, 372 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:34,680 Speaker 1: oh ship, oh ship, Oh your girlfriend's a passed aunt tache, y'all, y'all, 373 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,399 Speaker 1: solf fast, It's like, I'm definitely y'all. Y'all. Is the 374 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,199 Speaker 1: name of choice. I like, y'all, y'all. I wanted to 375 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,320 Speaker 1: be Nana because I wanted to be Nana because I've 376 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:47,919 Speaker 1: always loved my my Nana. But I was told your Nana. 377 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,639 Speaker 1: I wasn't quite ready for Nana, so I'll give that up. 378 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,080 Speaker 1: I love. Yes, it's y'all, y'all young enough for me. Well, 379 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 1: I like, yeah, you like like right, I'm just saying 380 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 1: she's like my like my third grandma friend. Let me 381 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 1: let me just slowly dip into this. Well, the thing 382 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:14,239 Speaker 1: is that my children have so many aunties that then 383 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: they like, well who are we So that that that 384 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:20,440 Speaker 1: turned into a whole conversation. I said, well, are y'all 385 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 1: like the grand t tease or y'all grand tees or 386 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 1: y'all what is your grunt? And then so my Nina, 387 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,399 Speaker 1: so my my daughter's like, well, I'm the t T. 388 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 1: So y'all can't be te te okay because I'm teeth okay. 389 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,119 Speaker 1: So then my homegirl said, we're just gonna be the tease. 390 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:42,320 Speaker 1: Then the tease, the tease, honey, so all the tea. 391 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,440 Speaker 1: I didn't want nothing grand in front of it. That's 392 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,800 Speaker 1: I know. So you could be T T Lie and 393 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:54,480 Speaker 1: t J T Lie. I'm like, I wanted a great 394 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 1: tea line. No, we're just gonna be T Jill. No, 395 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,120 Speaker 1: it's the whole thing. Great tea line. I like that 396 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:08,359 Speaker 1: great to that. I mean to be a great T 397 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,600 Speaker 1: jail j T great t J you'd be a great teach. 398 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:18,640 Speaker 1: Oh oh you're a great teamer, and I'm a great 399 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:24,560 Speaker 1: t J. Great tech. Yeah, great teach. So we're just 400 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: we're working through it. The thing is that I love 401 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 1: I love my village. I love my my villages. My 402 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:39,159 Speaker 1: village is tight. Come on, my college is tight. Come on. 403 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:44,800 Speaker 1: So I'm you know, I'm hoping to show my daughter 404 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,120 Speaker 1: and continue to show her this is what it looks 405 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,920 Speaker 1: like when you invest in in your own village, because 406 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,440 Speaker 1: then that spreads to the rest of your family as well. 407 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:58,479 Speaker 1: So I think it's really important to stress to our 408 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 1: young women who are list or if you have young 409 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,640 Speaker 1: women in your life, and even some women have told 410 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:08,679 Speaker 1: us that this this podcast has existed like their their village, 411 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:14,919 Speaker 1: their group. But having a really strong group of women people, 412 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 1: but definitely a group of women if you identify as 413 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 1: a woman, is an absolute, um essential thing to your 414 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,680 Speaker 1: health and growth. Yo, those uncles are fired too, Oh, 415 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:33,560 Speaker 1: uncles are the fire. The good uncles. Uncles are fired. Yes, 416 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:38,720 Speaker 1: riding to the store real quick and get a couple 417 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 1: of like the smell real nice walked by, you know. 418 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,600 Speaker 1: Oh yeah that he was a cousin or that's just 419 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 1: my cousin. Hey, braby, that's just my cousin. I used 420 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,440 Speaker 1: to love that. I thought that was so awesome. Yeah, 421 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,879 Speaker 1: I got good uncles. Uncles are great, they are, But 422 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 1: don't don't nobody take care of what women as good 423 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,160 Speaker 1: as a woman. That's what you'll learned from y'all. I'm 424 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,679 Speaker 1: saying nothing. It's a thing. But we don't do this 425 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,919 Speaker 1: to downplay the men. We just talk about what it 426 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 1: is to we don't. We don't. It's a way to 427 00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: do it. I'm trying to figure out the great language 428 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,399 Speaker 1: because I am learning that life. So I'm like, I 429 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:17,440 Speaker 1: appreciate the way you do it, learning that live. I'm 430 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:23,520 Speaker 1: learning that live. Wow, it's happening. It's not something that 431 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:29,720 Speaker 1: you know already done. It's happening. I'm learning live. Lessons 432 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:35,160 Speaker 1: always coming. I'm so grateful that your daughter has this 433 00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:43,439 Speaker 1: level of support around her. M h. It's just you know, 434 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to. I just have to 435 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,840 Speaker 1: talk about all of it for me, and it's it's 436 00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 1: that the other portion, you know, having the family members 437 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 1: and the friends that that make it seem like your 438 00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:00,399 Speaker 1: life is over because you're having a child. You know, 439 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:05,600 Speaker 1: at at twenty, that's a grown ass woman, ma'am. Now. 440 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:09,399 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, she can't have no liquor, but she 441 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,199 Speaker 1: don't want nothing right now, no way, you know right, 442 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 1: I mean she baby grown, but she grown that. At 443 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,440 Speaker 1: my twenty first birthday party, I was nursing my son 444 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,600 Speaker 1: who was five months old. So there's that. That's how 445 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 1: you get to be a sexy Yeah. Yeah, that is 446 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,159 Speaker 1: how you get to be sexy, y'all. Yeah, I mean 447 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,199 Speaker 1: there's some pluses and minestes to it, you know what. 448 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:33,480 Speaker 1: That part my ass, I'm like I would just thinking 449 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,880 Speaker 1: about the generations. It's just such an interesting generation where 450 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 1: we've had such a I feel like population of yet 451 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,320 Speaker 1: you know, young, but also when you go to the 452 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 1: elementary schools, she might be twenty years older than you. Two. 453 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 1: I was, yeah, because I've been the youngest mother in 454 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,760 Speaker 1: kindergarten and I've been the oldest mother in kindergarten. I've 455 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 1: had both experiences, you know, And so I get it. 456 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: Mothering is going to be mothering no matter when it happens. 457 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 1: And there will be some pluses to being a mother 458 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 1: when you are young, and there will be some downsides, 459 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,480 Speaker 1: and there will be some pluses to being a mother 460 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: when you are older, and there will be some downsides, 461 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 1: there are blessings either way. The point is that when 462 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:20,400 Speaker 1: you approach this, this task, this really monumental task, you 463 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,280 Speaker 1: can't do it alone. And you can't do it. You 464 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 1: just can't. And we've discussed this on this podcast, and 465 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,960 Speaker 1: can I say, accept this task for some of the 466 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 1: other ladies that are listening who choose not to accept 467 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,200 Speaker 1: this task, but our task with this task is not 468 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,360 Speaker 1: to accept it. That it's so fine too. But for 469 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 1: those who choose to accept this task, oh yeah, and 470 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 1: you and you ain't got to accept it, you know, 471 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,640 Speaker 1: everybody listening, everybody listening, that's fair. You know, as someone 472 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:50,240 Speaker 1: who was I guess based on one of the people say, 473 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,520 Speaker 1: I never felt like a single parent because I had 474 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,640 Speaker 1: my village. You know, I've definitely incorporated people in our 475 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 1: lives to help us out because it was a lot, 476 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,280 Speaker 1: you know, just touring and not having anybody, you know, 477 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 1: necessarily take care of the baby. And and I want 478 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,720 Speaker 1: to make sure that this is this is someone that 479 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:14,280 Speaker 1: loves us, you know, UM loves us. So having having 480 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,280 Speaker 1: someone in my family being nanny, UM shout out to 481 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 1: ms Lolo. She was our nanny for a while. She 482 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 1: showed up I prayed for her. She showed up exactly 483 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: as I prayed for, which was um wonderful, But she 484 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 1: left and quickly um uh in a way that I 485 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:36,160 Speaker 1: did not want. You know, that made things really challenging. UM. 486 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:42,200 Speaker 1: What I'm getting at is that I personally do not 487 00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: suggest anybody having kids, um when you don't have a 488 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: support system. I just I think it leads to a 489 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 1: lot of a lot of things. I definitely I said 490 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,080 Speaker 1: this before. There were moments when that baby was crying 491 00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 1: and I hadn't slept in a more than an hour 492 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 1: or two and in days, and I had walked into 493 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,360 Speaker 1: the door and blacked my eye. I'd stuffed my tolle. 494 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 1: I don't know how many times. I can't even tell you. 495 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 1: And I really wanted to throw that baby out the window, 496 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: like I really did. I thought about it. I was married, 497 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:24,200 Speaker 1: And that's what I'm saying. To do that by yourself 498 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 1: not possible right without support period. Yes, Yes, that's one 499 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 1: of the things that you have to we have to 500 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 1: have that. You've got to find some visits around you. 501 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,760 Speaker 1: You know that they actually genuinely care for you, and 502 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,200 Speaker 1: your daughter is blessed to have that in every direction, 503 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:46,240 Speaker 1: that she looks every direction she looks. And the fact 504 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 1: that Asian you for your story about your grandmother, that's 505 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:54,600 Speaker 1: that blew me away like powerful that I don't I'm 506 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:56,640 Speaker 1: trying to think, you know, not that I'm saying it 507 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:59,280 Speaker 1: was the opposite my direction. But maybe it was more 508 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:00,800 Speaker 1: in the middle. I don't know. If it was just 509 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:07,720 Speaker 1: that was as beautiful and that was listen, this is like, yes, 510 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:14,040 Speaker 1: this is the directive. M h. And again, we're not 511 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:17,960 Speaker 1: all gonna get everything right, okay, if there's such a 512 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:25,360 Speaker 1: thing as a right okay, all of us will will 513 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,000 Speaker 1: move through life and the different decisions that are young 514 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 1: people make, and we will see ourselves and those decisions, 515 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,920 Speaker 1: and we will see the things we've witnessed in those decisions, 516 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 1: and we'll respond according to our experiences and whatever way 517 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:45,240 Speaker 1: that we feel sometimes will process that is I'm out, 518 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,400 Speaker 1: I'm loving this person by telling them what I think 519 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 1: is the truth, right, And so I recognized that that 520 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,080 Speaker 1: is all a process, and that depend on where you are. 521 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,280 Speaker 1: You can project all kinds of different things on our 522 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,640 Speaker 1: young people. In particular, when I say young people, I 523 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,560 Speaker 1: mean those of us that are almost adults, those of 524 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 1: us that are young adults, you know all those things, 525 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:07,880 Speaker 1: So we can project a lot of that on our 526 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 1: young people and not even know that we're being harmful. 527 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,600 Speaker 1: We'll be thinking, all, I'm just loving you by telling you, 528 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,960 Speaker 1: you know, keeping it one undred with you, And I'm 529 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 1: saying that I recognize that we're all not going to 530 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:24,160 Speaker 1: pass that test. I have not passed that test multiple times, 531 00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:26,280 Speaker 1: and I've been trying to be as transparent as i 532 00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,280 Speaker 1: can be about my parents and journey on this podcast. 533 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 1: There have been times where I've responded in ways I 534 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:35,800 Speaker 1: had to reel that ship back. So I'm not expecting 535 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:40,280 Speaker 1: everybody to identify with the way I respond or respond 536 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 1: that way themselves, or see loving people in the same 537 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:45,480 Speaker 1: way that I see loving people. But what I do 538 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,920 Speaker 1: hope we all do, as it concerns our young people, 539 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:52,400 Speaker 1: is that we allow them to not have to earn 540 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 1: their value and love, that they can be loved and 541 00:33:56,280 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 1: value simply by existing, and that when they may their decisions, 542 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:05,080 Speaker 1: that we enter into conversation with them being led by 543 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 1: that fact. And that's that's really all I'm I'm asking 544 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:12,440 Speaker 1: of all of us, But all that I'm asking really 545 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,239 Speaker 1: of myself. And I talked to my son about this 546 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 1: earlier today, and I just was like, Son, just leave 547 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:23,759 Speaker 1: with your humanity and everything that you do. Lead with that, 548 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,360 Speaker 1: because if you see yourself as a human, if you 549 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,600 Speaker 1: respect your own value, if you know that by simply 550 00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,640 Speaker 1: showing up and being that you are valued, then you 551 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:37,760 Speaker 1: will do that to other people. But you gotta believe 552 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,719 Speaker 1: it about yourself. So honestly, when I see people be 553 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,920 Speaker 1: miserable to young people always, I know exactly what I'm 554 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:48,320 Speaker 1: looking at. Poor baby, you don't even have no grace 555 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,880 Speaker 1: for your own self. Why why would I expect you 556 00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:55,360 Speaker 1: to have some grace for me and mine? Right? And 557 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,919 Speaker 1: my heart hurts for people like that because they didn't 558 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,160 Speaker 1: have their foundation either. They didn't Tom didn't get them 559 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,799 Speaker 1: to grace or raise them somebody give them an yeah. 560 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 1: And so it's more of a thing that I'm sad 561 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,000 Speaker 1: about than I feel some type of way about. I 562 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,520 Speaker 1: feel like that's just sad. But we can we can 563 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:15,120 Speaker 1: stop it. We can decide to no longer participate. You 564 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 1: hear that. You hear that, everybody. We don't have to 565 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:21,480 Speaker 1: do the things that we're done. We don't have to 566 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,399 Speaker 1: be that way mm hmm. We don't have to fall 567 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:30,120 Speaker 1: fall the puritanical if that's the word ideas. You know, 568 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,520 Speaker 1: we don't have to to to fit into confines in 569 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:37,920 Speaker 1: that way. And if we're leading in love, leading in 570 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:43,880 Speaker 1: love and moving in love, there is really no way 571 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 1: to fall. You're literally flying. And it's gonna be some challenges, 572 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:54,520 Speaker 1: you know. You know, I'm definitely going to be some challenges. 573 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:58,640 Speaker 1: We all, we all have experienced those things. But when 574 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 1: you have a support this them, I encourage you again 575 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,080 Speaker 1: to please go out into the world. For all of 576 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,279 Speaker 1: you who are just like I don't want to go outside, 577 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,600 Speaker 1: you know, I get it. I don't want to go 578 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 1: outside all the time either, But you never know, you know, 579 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: speak to people you know, you never know, be specific 580 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 1: about who you want and what kind of person you 581 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,279 Speaker 1: want in your life. They show up, they really do, 582 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,440 Speaker 1: especially a little DC's little sisters out there. They're developing 583 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,600 Speaker 1: their own little sister circles and whatnot. I see you. 584 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break and then it will 585 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:50,319 Speaker 1: be right back. I wanna um read something, and I 586 00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:54,640 Speaker 1: do that. Of course, you can't shop. I want to 587 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:57,080 Speaker 1: read something that I wrote that I post every Mother's Day, 588 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,120 Speaker 1: and I feel like I want to read it here, 589 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 1: but I've been posting that every Mother's Day for about 590 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,560 Speaker 1: two years and I still give the ms from people 591 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,319 Speaker 1: about this. I want to share here. It's an essay 592 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:15,000 Speaker 1: that I wrote call on Mothering UM. Mothering is a 593 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:20,000 Speaker 1: master class and self awareness. On the difficult days, it 594 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,960 Speaker 1: is isolating and grow self loathing like mold under a 595 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 1: leaky sink. And on the good days, you feel like 596 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,920 Speaker 1: you're in alignment with an order of things, like the 597 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,800 Speaker 1: sound of chirping birds returning for spring or the taste 598 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:37,840 Speaker 1: of perfectly riping fruit. It's these good days that motivate 599 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,799 Speaker 1: you and haunt you, the days that create fantasy for 600 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,160 Speaker 1: those who desire to mother, and that seem a delusion 601 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,799 Speaker 1: for those who do not. Mostly it is a road 602 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,640 Speaker 1: you will travel alone. It's probably better that way. What 603 00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:54,719 Speaker 1: does it profit you to know anyone more than you 604 00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:58,759 Speaker 1: know yourself? Mothering will show you exactly who you are. 605 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,200 Speaker 1: It isn't the only pathway there, but it is a 606 00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:05,200 Speaker 1: guaranteed one. And when you're not in your own head, 607 00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 1: it's other mothers who will pull you out of isolation 608 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:12,560 Speaker 1: enough to validate your feelings, debunk your exaggerated critique of yourself, 609 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:17,360 Speaker 1: and remind you you are, in fact lonely not alone. 610 00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:22,160 Speaker 1: Sounds like a fucking blast, don't it. I mean it is, 611 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:27,719 Speaker 1: mostly though it's not. I think that's okay. Why do 612 00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,440 Speaker 1: we have to sell this narrative that the good outweighs 613 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:36,960 Speaker 1: the challenges Even if it doesn't. Mothering is still unnecessary, beautiful, ugly, 614 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 1: profound duty. Love is the surrender to that which keeps 615 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:46,560 Speaker 1: all matters in order. Love cares nothing about your perception 616 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:51,959 Speaker 1: of time, strength, or patience. It does what is necessary 617 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:56,560 Speaker 1: for contentment, and it sucks along the way this until 618 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,759 Speaker 1: you discover that you are worthy of it too. I 619 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,480 Speaker 1: think it can't happen until the first part does. It's 620 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 1: like leaves falling and ship getting cold and frigid because 621 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:08,160 Speaker 1: it's necessary to make way for flowers. I think the 622 00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:10,920 Speaker 1: discovery that you essentially need to love yourself with the 623 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,320 Speaker 1: same vigor you loved your kid comes later to shield 624 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,760 Speaker 1: you from another difficult truth. Your child is not indebted 625 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:21,440 Speaker 1: to you. Loving you will be as thankless and challenging 626 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 1: for them as it was for you to love them. 627 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,440 Speaker 1: They will also forge ahead in the world to create 628 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,600 Speaker 1: their own story, and you will have to have a 629 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,600 Speaker 1: good relationship with the person they leave behind. Having a 630 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:36,920 Speaker 1: made helps, it's not a shield. They have their own 631 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,479 Speaker 1: journey to walk their own boundaries, to impose their own 632 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:44,040 Speaker 1: love to budget and audit. I'm glad that my mothering 633 00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,439 Speaker 1: is my own insanity to possess. It is my great 634 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:53,120 Speaker 1: experiment and self study and selflessness, my personal dissertation, my 635 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:59,680 Speaker 1: own failure and triumph to contemplate, my reminder of my humanity. Order. 636 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:05,480 Speaker 1: That's it. What is the order? Order? In that order? 637 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,040 Speaker 1: Just meaning? Like in the very beginning, how I spoke 638 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,080 Speaker 1: about how when you're really in a good day, you 639 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:14,000 Speaker 1: feel like you're in alignment with the order of things. Yeah, 640 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,480 Speaker 1: but I feel like my journey as a motherhood is 641 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:20,200 Speaker 1: in alignment with the order of things. And the order 642 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:24,200 Speaker 1: of things is a lot of things, good, early, awesome, whatever, 643 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 1: But it's in order. It's my order, and my child 644 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,520 Speaker 1: will discover her own order and her own insanity to possess. 645 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 1: I pray everybody finds their own insanity to possess their 646 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:42,280 Speaker 1: own order, their own alignment. Who when you think about 647 00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:50,239 Speaker 1: it like that, what I feel? I just feel a warmth, 648 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:57,720 Speaker 1: like the overwhelming warmth. I'm trying not to cry God 649 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:03,319 Speaker 1: darn it, I'm exciting for you. I'm really excited for you. 650 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:11,120 Speaker 1: I'm excited for your daughter, but I'm really excited for you. Yeah, 651 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:14,759 Speaker 1: this whole, this whole, Yeah, y'all business. This is something 652 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:18,480 Speaker 1: you've never been. You've never been this before. This is 653 00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:26,120 Speaker 1: this is brand new, never deciding a new, come a bored. Yeah, 654 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,759 Speaker 1: you're too young to know what that is. Where it's 655 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:37,040 Speaker 1: infecting a lot of boa. Soon you'll be digging another. 656 00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:51,799 Speaker 1: This is business road love I know center in a 657 00:41:51,920 --> 00:42:01,040 Speaker 1: new road man. Road Man are made a reboot. It's 658 00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:06,160 Speaker 1: not at it's coming in the fall. It's like it's 659 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:12,799 Speaker 1: like it's called the love boat. Yeah m hm, and 660 00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:21,560 Speaker 1: it continues. I shall who see and continue. Y'all better 661 00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:27,080 Speaker 1: get these preferences. They got it. They got it. They 662 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:32,040 Speaker 1: if they're listening to us, they got it. Yeah, they listen. 663 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:34,920 Speaker 1: I love to call this, y'all, y'all. I love you 664 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:38,040 Speaker 1: called this y'all. Y'all business. Come on this, y'all. Come on, y'all, 665 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:44,879 Speaker 1: y'all be business. Yeah yeah, so baby gonna say yeah. Yeah. 666 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:48,239 Speaker 1: First probably all I want to do. I just want 667 00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,560 Speaker 1: to roll around in the grass and play hard and 668 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:59,080 Speaker 1: go seek and laugh and and just be asked a 669 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:05,319 Speaker 1: million questions ends and have somebody climb up in my 670 00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,440 Speaker 1: lab and just lay on my chest and just find 671 00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:14,359 Speaker 1: some comfort and no my smell and talk about things 672 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,279 Speaker 1: I cook or things that I don't cook, because who 673 00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,840 Speaker 1: knows what type of y'all, y'all, I'm gonna be m 674 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:23,440 Speaker 1: but I think I'm just excited to get to know 675 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:28,880 Speaker 1: my little person. I'm excited to get to know them. 676 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:34,960 Speaker 1: I want. I don't want mom. You know, I love 677 00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,880 Speaker 1: my blue baby. That was a sweet thing. She's a 678 00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:41,680 Speaker 1: good thing. She's funny. She's hard on me sometimes and 679 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:46,200 Speaker 1: I appreciate it, appreciate it so much. Child. She was hard, 680 00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:48,840 Speaker 1: Oh Margaret may As, she was hard child, But thank 681 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:52,080 Speaker 1: you guy for it. Thank you. Yeah, and you were awesome. 682 00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:55,960 Speaker 1: You're awesome granddaughter, Like yeah I am now I was 683 00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:05,320 Speaker 1: I did, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love My name was Turned, Yeah, 684 00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:12,960 Speaker 1: it was, she was Turned. She was such a bright, vibrant, fun, 685 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:21,800 Speaker 1: amazing little person. She just I miss her, but yeah, 686 00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:24,120 Speaker 1: that was that was That was my one, right there, 687 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,880 Speaker 1: that was my one. Here I go again. I was like, 688 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:36,840 Speaker 1: I'm just age. You get the opportunity to be what 689 00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:41,560 Speaker 1: your mother was. For your children. Yeah, you get that chip. 690 00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:45,200 Speaker 1: This is it, this is this is so exciting and 691 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,120 Speaker 1: not to get deep though, but wait, Jill, she gets 692 00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:51,680 Speaker 1: to be what her mother is to her children at 693 00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:54,400 Speaker 1: some point in life when the when the life continues 694 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:58,440 Speaker 1: in another form, I swear to God, the captain of 695 00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:01,400 Speaker 1: the ship that commands the way we I do my 696 00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:04,480 Speaker 1: every day is my grandmother. So that's why I'm like, 697 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,000 Speaker 1: And I know your mother is commanding this whole ship, 698 00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:11,400 Speaker 1: so I'm like in both on both levels. She old, 699 00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:15,600 Speaker 1: that's so dull, it's so dope. When I think about 700 00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:20,200 Speaker 1: this year, She's been preparing me this whole time. That 701 00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:25,840 Speaker 1: part she knew it was coming. No. Oh, I just 702 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,000 Speaker 1: want to say thank you so much for listening to 703 00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:37,600 Speaker 1: Jay dot Ilda podcast. This life will continue to blossom 704 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:41,839 Speaker 1: and bloom in ways that you just don't expect. Not always, 705 00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:47,319 Speaker 1: but when they do, please please pay attention to the 706 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:51,360 Speaker 1: fragrance of the flower. Please pay attention to the colors. 707 00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:55,360 Speaker 1: Life is the good friends, Thank you so much for listening. 708 00:45:55,800 --> 00:46:09,640 Speaker 1: Until next time. By yea, how do you eat an elephant? One? By? 709 00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:14,359 Speaker 1: It time, Hey listeners, It's Amber, the producer of Jada 710 00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:18,640 Speaker 1: Ile Here. I love how real our show is and 711 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,000 Speaker 1: other ladies get to share their special moments with all 712 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:24,320 Speaker 1: of you. Fun fact a yeah yeah is the Greek 713 00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:28,000 Speaker 1: word for grandmother. I also want to share with you 714 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,680 Speaker 1: an article about supporting the new moms in your life 715 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:34,839 Speaker 1: from Brown Mama's. They have an incredible list of organizations 716 00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:39,040 Speaker 1: around the country that have groups for everything from breastfeeding 717 00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:43,320 Speaker 1: to mother's support to wine and brunch clubs. Because mama's 718 00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:47,480 Speaker 1: deserve all that Mama's grandma's yeah yeah's aunties, all of 719 00:46:47,480 --> 00:47:02,719 Speaker 1: the people who are supporting birthing people. Hi, if you 720 00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:06,080 Speaker 1: have comments on something he said in this episode, call 721 00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,640 Speaker 1: eight six six Hey Jill if you want to add 722 00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:13,759 Speaker 1: to this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four 723 00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,719 Speaker 1: five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and 724 00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:20,319 Speaker 1: the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your 725 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:24,080 Speaker 1: message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to 726 00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:31,120 Speaker 1: Jill Scott presents Jay dot Ill. The podcast JA dot 727 00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:34,560 Speaker 1: Ill is a production of I Heart Radio. For more 728 00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:38,720 Speaker 1: podcast from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, 729 00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:43,160 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.