WEBVTT - From Grief to Self-Inflicted Depression-The Harsh Reality 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.680 And so if you're still experiencing what you think is grief, 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:05.960 I'm here to tell you it's not grief anymore. Now 0:00:05.960 --> 0:00:11.160 it's self inflicting, self deprecating depression. And that is Oh, 0:00:11.200 --> 0:00:25.200 here comes the worst part about this. That is narcissism. 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:26.840 What's up, guys, Welcome to the podcast. 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:30.080 Thanks for being here, watching, listening wherever you're coming from 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:35.199 Episode to twenty seven. Thank you for everyone that has 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:37.680 taken this journey for so long with me. I believe 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:41.440 this podcast started in twenty seventeen, so we're looking at 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:44.400 as real time right now, we're looking at about seven 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:47.040 years of this. So man, I love you guys, and 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:51.960 I love the opportunity to just real talk. No edits, 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:56.200 no clicks, no notes, no quotes in front of me, 0:00:56.280 --> 0:01:00.520 no books that I'm discussing here, just answering your questions. 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:04.080 If you have one for me, email podcast at grangersmith 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:06.240 dot com. We'll walk through it like we're sitting around 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:09.760 a campfire. This first question comes from Morgan. It says, Hey, Granger, 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:12.520 I love listening to the podcast. I'm twenty one years old, 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:16.720 I'm from Tennessee, and I am starting to realize a 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:20.880 reoccurring thought of a guy that I no longer talk to. 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:24.640 In the beginning, I was relieved that the situation was 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:27.760 over and did not think much of it. It has 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:31.360 been at least five months now. However, the past month 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.400 or so he has come to mind often. I realize 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:36.560 it is something I need to take to God and 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:39.679 ask him about. As I do, I'd love to hear 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:43.000 your take on it. Normally, if someone comes to mind, 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:46.560 I'll pray for them and reach out to them if 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:49.360 i'm thinking about them. I have done both. He did 0:01:49.400 --> 0:01:53.720 not respond when I reached out. He is still a 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:56.080 thought in the back of my mind, and I'm so 0:01:56.200 --> 0:02:01.000 confused about it. There is such great vice, great advice 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:03.040 in each episode, and I hope to hear back on 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:06.960 this topic. Thank you all right kicking it off with Morgan, 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:11.800 I appreciate you, And look, I'm not always right on 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:16.200 this stuff. I'd just like to answer like we're two friends. 0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:18.160 Maybe we're sitting sitting in the cap of a truck 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:21.239 or sitting sitting around a campfire, and we talk through this, 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:23.960 and so I hear these questions for the first time, 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:26.600 and there's not always. 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:27.320 The right answer. 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:36.720 Except for you, except for this one. Morgan, you got 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:43.520 look the guy says, the guy is gone, right, and 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:48.200 you reach out to him and he doesn't respond. That 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:51.959 is enough. That is an answer in itself. He might 0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:56.200 not have responded with words, but he responded clearly with 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:59.320 no words. And it means I don't want to talk. 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:03.760 For whatever reason, I've moved on, I don't. I don't 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:05.440 want to talk or have anything to. 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:07.280 Do with you. 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:11.160 You're twenty one, You're from Tennessee, and you say all 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:12.640 you say, right, is there is a guy I no 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:16.160 longer talk to. I think that's all we know about 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:20.840 this guy. But look, Morgan, this is, first of all, 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:23.560 it's normal. Let's acknowledge this. This is a normal feeling 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:28.760 that you're having. And when he doesn't reply, it also 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:32.280 triggers something in your mind that it kind of thinks, 0:03:33.480 --> 0:03:34.760 what why is he not replying? 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:36.800 Is he hurt? Is he injured? 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:39.720 Did he get in a car accident? And he's he's 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:41.600 ran off a cliff and no one knows where he is. 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:44.040 And if I, if I find him, then you know 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:45.920 that maybe I'll be the one to be able to 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:51.160 rescue him. No, that's not what this is. He doesn't 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:51.720 want to talk to you. 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:52.160 Anymore. 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:58.360 And look, you say, I'll pray. I've been praying, and 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:03.720 I need to take this to God. Look you're getting 0:04:03.720 --> 0:04:06.440 in a clear answer from God and everyone else. 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:09.400 That the guy's moved on, so you should too. 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:14.040 Next question comes from Anonymous, and it says, hey, Granger, 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:17.440 I lost my twenty one year old son on December 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:21.560 fourteenth of last year. It was unexpected, and we put 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:23.919 him to bed and he never woke up. I have 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:26.719 two other children, a three year old daughter and a 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:29.839 seven month old baby. My fear is that I won't 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:32.760 ever be able to have joy with my other children 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:36.840 ever again. All I see is him not being there. 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:39.120 How do I balance the pain of losing my two 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:43.239 year old with making new memories with my other children? 0:04:44.800 --> 0:04:48.839 Also? Does this pain ever subside? Thank you all right, Anonymous. 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:55.640 I'm so sorry, and unfortunately I could I know this 0:04:56.960 --> 0:05:05.160 and I could relate. The first thing I would say 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:08.320 is we're going to answer kind of your question in 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:13.320 parts here. And your first question is how do I 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:19.039 balance losing my two year old with making new memories 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:24.960 with my other children? Well, that's the answer to that 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:29.279 question is. First of all, you don't you're not trying 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:33.640 to plan next year. You're not trying to plan five 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:35.160 years from now. You're not You're not trying to get 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.560 a ten year plan. You're not trying to figure out 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:39.840 when you're gonna go to Disney World when they're preteens. 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:47.680 All you have to do is work on today. And 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:50.600 the reason I say that is because pain comes in waves, 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:56.240 and sometimes you're going to feel okay. And on those days, 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:57.760 you have a three year old daughter and a seven 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:01.880 month old baby. On those days, you'd be as present 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:06.040 as you can with them, and when you get you 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:09.520 get down on the carpet, you know, in their room 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:11.760 and their bedroom, and you get lost with your three 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:14.480 year old and you start having conversations with her, and 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:18.800 sure you might break up and start crying a little bit, 0:06:19.640 --> 0:06:22.440 and it's okay for her to see you crying, and 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:26.560 you could say I miss your little brother, and that's okay. 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:28.599 And then other days you might not bring it up 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:31.440 at all because it doesn't it doesn't cross your mind 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:32.200 to tell her that. 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:36.680 And so my point is if you if you work. 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:39.920 Day by day instead of week by week or year 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:42.120 by year, you just work day by day and sometimes 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:46.680 just hour by hour, then I promise you the days 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:51.520 will go by and you'll start collecting good days along 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:54.920 with the bad ones. The problem is, what you'll realize 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:59.520 is that sometimes you'll be laughing with your kids and 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:01.840 there's a thought, an evil thought, that comes in your 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:06.599 head that says, how dare you laugh with these kids 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:11.280 when they lost a sibling and you lost a son. 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:13.960 And I want to tell you right now, Anonymous, that 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:20.480 that is that feeling is the enemy. It is a lie, 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:24.200 and it is here to steal your joy. And so 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:28.960 you reject that thought, and he say, no, no, I 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:34.760 me having joy and laughing with my kids does not 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:41.240 compete against the grief of losing my son. They can 0:07:41.640 --> 0:07:46.800 coexist at the same time. And listen, I don't have 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:49.560 to convince you that you could probably already think back 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:52.440 as you listen to this podcast of many times when 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:56.040 that's already happened, when you've you've felt joy and you 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:59.560 laugh genuine I mean, three year olds are kids you 0:07:59.600 --> 0:08:02.280 want to laugh all the time. They say funny things, 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:04.800 they do funny things. And I'm sure you have seen 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:07.880 your daughter say or do something funny and you've smiled, 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:12.400 and whether or not you felt guilty about it, I 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:16.840 want to tell you that that smile can coexist with 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:20.920 the grief of losing your son. They could both exist. 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:21.040 In your mind. 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:25.280 There's no reason why you should feel guilty about that. 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:28.880 And then the last question is for you, does the 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:34.760 pain ever subside? And the answer is absolutely yes. There 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:37.080 might be people that tell you no, I've heard those 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:40.000 people and I still hear those people. They say, losing 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:43.320 a child is a loss, it's a pain that never 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:49.240 goes away. Well to those people, I will say, there's 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:53.520 a problem. If you truly believe, and it has been 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:56.880 maybe decades and I've heard this, that the pain of 0:08:56.920 --> 0:09:01.600 losing a child never subsides, then there's something else wrong 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:06.240 because you're now past you're past the appropriate time to grieve, 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:11.200 and now you're in self deprecation mode and you're in 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:15.080 depression grief just like you know, you get. 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:17.920 The flu, right and you. 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:23.160 Cough, and you have this bacterial infection in your lungs 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:27.120 with the flu, and then that can turn into pneumonia. 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:31.400 Pneumonia is not the flu, but as the flu lingered 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:37.440 too long, it manifested into pneumonia. And grief and loss 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:42.520 can manifest into depression if it's not dealt with correctly 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:46.440 and So if you're still experiencing what you think is grief, 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:48.160 I'm here to tell you it's not grief anymore. 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:48.679 Now. 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:53.880 It's self inflicting, self deprecating depression. And that is oh, 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:58.959 here here comes the worst part about this. That is narcissism. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:04.120 And it's like, whoa hold, what do you say? Did 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:08.640 you say that my self deprecation and my depression from 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:14.800 losing a loved one is narcissism? I'm saying it could 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:19.200 become that yet, because it could become where all you 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:23.480 think about is yourself, not in a good way, but 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:25.800 in a bad way. All you think is poor me, 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:30.000 poor me, because of this. I don't have this because 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:34.240 of that, I have missing out on this. My life 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:36.360 is not the way it should have been because of this. 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:39.800 And what that is is just me, me, me, me me. 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:46.600 It's narcissism. That's what it becomes. So let me answer 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:50.080 the question. Finally, does the pain ever subside? Absolutely? 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:55.880 It does. The memory and. 0:10:55.800 --> 0:11:05.160 The love and this sting from the loss itself exist 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:09.720 as you move forward with it, and it becomes less 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:15.560 and less painful as you look back on it. That's 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:19.880 a healthy way of moving forward with that loved one. 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:20.320 Right. 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:24.120 So you don't do that by forgetting them. You don't 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:27.440 do that by wishing them away or carrying with them 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:30.120 like they're like they're an idol and a shrine. You 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:34.719 don't do it either of those ways. But if you 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:38.719 could work away where you're remaining present, playing with your 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:44.920 other kids, living moment to moment with those kids, finding 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:48.480 joy in those moments with those kids, then you'll notice 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:52.760 the seconds go by, the minutes go by, hours, the days, 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.480 the weeks, the months, and then the years. And you 0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:59.440 collect enough years and you look back and you go, 0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:04.240 I don't hurt as bad. I still remember, and I 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:08.000 still feel, and I still have moments, but it's not 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:11.240 all sad anymore. In fact, now when I look back 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:16.360 at my son, I'm talking to you, anonymous, you'll smile 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:21.720 more than you cry. You could do this, and that's 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:26.920 a healthy way to grieve, it is. Next question comes 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:30.360 from Elizabeth hey Gringer. My name is Elizabeth. I'm thirty five. 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:35.240 My husband and I recently found out that someone who 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:39.040 we have been close friends with was a registered sex offender. 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:43.400 Not only have we become friends with the person, but 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:47.320 our son has also become closer friends with this person's 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:51.240 son as well. This person has served their time and 0:12:51.280 --> 0:12:55.400 I'm told they no longer are on the registry. However, 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.880 it has changed the dynamic of our friendship. We are 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.480 believers and so this yes, and so is this person. 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:07.560 We completely believe in redemption and that God can change 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:12.160 hearts and can take people out of bondage. But are 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:15.080 we wrong for setting boundaries for our family based on 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:18.680 what we are comfortable with. We are praying for God's 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:22.320 wisdom as we move forward in our friends and in 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:25.040 our friends with this person and the rest of the family. 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:27.680 Thanks for your time. We love your music into preaching. 0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:32.320 Thanks Elizabeth. Yeah, that's a great question, Elizabeth. Thank you 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:35.160 for asking it and bringing up a you know, an 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:41.360 interesting topic. And we've said this before in this podcast, 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:47.000 but there we know that there's a difference between forgiveness 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:54.800 and love and how God changes hearts. There's a difference 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:59.600 between those things, and then there's a separation in trust, 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:05.840 right because we trust is earned and we have to 0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:09.679 be responsible with who we give it to. We can 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:13.360 give freely our forgiveness, and we can give freely our love, 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:18.880 but but trust we give limited amounts of as it's earned, 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:24.680 and that that would be my advice to you is 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:29.040 when you're if it was just you and you're you're 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:33.600 hanging out with this person, that's one thing maybe, but 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:40.080 with your children involved, it becomes it becomes difficult. And 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:46.040 now your obligation to protect your children and prepare them 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:50.480 for the world is now greater than the desire to 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:55.680 make friends and keep them. You're gonna have to You're 0:14:55.720 --> 0:15:00.240 gonna have to wrestle with that because those two priorities. 0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:03.960 Being friends with someone, being loving, being a good neighbor 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:09.720 is not equal to I need to also protect my 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:14.240 child from a registered sex offender or an unregistered sex offender, 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:20.360 even if they seem recovered. The protecting your child from 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:26.160 possible danger is greater than your trust of a neighbor. 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:28.920 Not your love, not your forgiveness, that's different, but your 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:32.360 trust of that neighbor. So you're gonna have to have 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:37.640 great discernment. And I think it's absolutely right that you're 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:40.640 setting boundaries. I think that's part of your question, and 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:45.160 I think you're absolutely right, and there would be no 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:49.240 objection from the Smith family if that was the situation 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:58.360 we saw. Next question comes from Kurt, and it says, 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:03.280 dear Granger, I sent this question for I sent in 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:07.960 this question good paying job versus ministry position that y'all 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:11.600 answered in episode two to two, and that got me really emotional. 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:17.360 I remember that was with Bernie, and Kert goes on 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:18.560 to say, I just want to say thank you for 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:21.800 all your advice and your insights, and I apologize for 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:25.360 getting Bernie choked up, but thank you for not cutting 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:28.680 and for that raw emotion and his heart. 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:29.920 It really moved me. 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.240 I truly believe that I'm I am an ambassador for 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:37.240 Christ and whatever area I work, So thank you for 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:42.480 that word, Granger. I walked away from the podcast feeling convicted, 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:46.520 as my prayer life has not been consistent and is 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:47.720 an area of my life that I. 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:48.320 Want to grow in. 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:52.480 So that's great getting a getting a follow up to 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:57.440 a question that was That was an impactful podcast episode 0:16:57.440 --> 0:17:01.120 two twenty two because Bernie, who's a regular guest on here, 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:04.760 got really emotional, so much so that he couldn't speak anymore. 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:08.320 And that's the first time I've seen it in all 0:17:08.400 --> 0:17:10.480 these episodes, the first time I've seen a guest or 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:12.840 me get so choked. 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:15.040 Up that they could not speak anymore. 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:19.960 So Kurt I'm glad you heard that, and I'm glad 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:22.200 that you reached back out that it means a lot 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:22.440 to me. 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:26.120 Let's hit another question here. 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:34.320 A question says, Hey, Granger, I emailed about a month 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:38.640 ago about me and this girl. We recently split our 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:46.520 separate ways, but this has taken me. Our relationship was 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:51.240 something else, so it's very rough to part ways with 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:54.080 someone I have found so special. I need some tips 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:55.640 on how to get out of this dark place. I'm 0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:58.400 trying to follow your email. This comes from Carter from 0:17:58.440 --> 0:17:59.480 the state of Wisconsin. 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:01.160 He says, so. 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:06.760 Recently split up with this girl and you said our 0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:11.600 relationship with something else, So it's very rough to part 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:13.399 ways with someone that I found so special, and I 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:15.280 need some tips on how to get out of this 0:18:15.359 --> 0:18:15.760 dark place. 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:17.240 Okay, first tip is. 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:20.000 Yeah, it feels like we haven't done this in a while, 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:24.880 but my first tip is block her on everything. Block 0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:28.520 her on Instagram and Facebook and anything else you're following 0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:30.320 her on and on your phone. 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:32.639 Block her on your phone. 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:36.000 If the relationship is truly done, which it's come on, 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:38.840 it sounds like it is. You don't want to see her, 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:41.200 You don't want to see her pop up on your 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:45.440 feed saying something or messaging you in a week time, 0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:48.240 knowing that it's just going to end up going back 0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:51.520 the way that it was, and to protect your heart 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:56.280 in this kind of situation, it's necessary. It might seem rude. 0:18:56.880 --> 0:19:00.240 If you feel better about it, probably wouldn't reckon in this. 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:02.960 But if you feel better about it, message her, text 0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:06.439 her and say just to let you know, I'm going 0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:09.120 to block you on everything and it's not personal. I 0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:12.520 just need to move on and not seeing you will 0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:15.719 help with that, and then blocker before she could reply blocker. 0:19:16.560 --> 0:19:18.600 If you feel convicted enough to do it. I probably 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:20.879 wouldn't even recommend that. I wouldn't even do it myself. 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:23.000 I would just go ahead and block her on everything 0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:28.399 and she'll know eventually it's not personal. But that's the 0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:30.359 first step in your healing. Is you don't want to 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:37.119 see her. I don't know your situation. I don't know 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:38.639 if you see her every day. I don't know if 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:42.560 you see I don't know if you work with her 0:19:42.680 --> 0:19:45.520 or see her in your small town. But I would 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:48.879 I would let that time go by and just know 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:50.879 that the time as. 0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:53.959 It rolls, as it ticks on, you'll get better. And 0:19:54.000 --> 0:19:54.680 you'll get better. 0:19:55.119 --> 0:20:00.000 I promise you, Carter, time will heal In this scenario. 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:02.200 You can't always say that, can't always just go yeah, 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:06.640 time heels. But in this situation, if you block her 0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:09.920 out of sight, out of mind, out of heart, time 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:10.640 goes by. 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:13.000 And you'll get better. I promise. 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:16.000 It was a long time ago that I started grangersmith 0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:19.359 dot com. Since that website launched into the world was 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:23.040 in two thousand and two, twenty two years. First of all, 0:20:23.080 --> 0:20:25.040 could we just think for a second how crazy it 0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:29.760 is that two thousand and two was twenty two years ago. Well, 0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:33.119 since then, that website has evolved so much. I remember 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:35.560 when we first started selling a T shirt that was 0:20:35.640 --> 0:20:39.600 probably two thousand and five. Music was probably four, and 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:42.240 things really didn't start picking up at all until maybe 0:20:42.240 --> 0:20:44.800 two thousand and six, and I was still just selling 0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:47.080 it right out of my house, coming out of the 0:20:47.080 --> 0:20:48.080 cabinets in my kitchen. 0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:49.600 My mom was helping me. 0:20:50.359 --> 0:20:53.479 It's crazy to think that back then I had no vision. 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:56.560 I hoped, I had expectation, but I had no vision 0:20:56.680 --> 0:20:59.159 for what that online store would become. 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:01.360 And it became ee dot com. 0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:04.760 Now, when you're creative and you're making creative things you 0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:08.080 don't think so much about the technology behind it. And 0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:11.840 that's where Shopify came in and really really helped our 0:21:11.840 --> 0:21:15.199 company grow from those early days in the kitchen to 0:21:15.320 --> 0:21:19.280 now having the ee farm. Shopify is the global commerce 0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:22.920 platform that helps you at every single stage of your business. 0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:24.920 And it doesn't matter what that business is, whether you're 0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:29.520 selling scented soap or outdoor apparel like EEE. Shopify helps 0:21:29.520 --> 0:21:32.400 you sell everywhere, from their all in one e commerce 0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:36.359 platform to their in person POS system. Wherever or whatever 0:21:36.400 --> 0:21:37.240 you're selling. 0:21:37.000 --> 0:21:38.320 Shopify has got you covered. 0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:40.440 They do all the behind the scenes stuff that take 0:21:40.440 --> 0:21:42.000 it all out of your hands so you could do 0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:44.080 what you do best and be creative and come up 0:21:44.119 --> 0:21:47.719 with the product. And meanwhile they're turning browsers into buyers. 0:21:47.720 --> 0:21:51.000 With the internet's best converting checkout thirty six percent better 0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:54.560 on average compared to other leading commerce platforms. You could 0:21:54.560 --> 0:21:57.680 sell more with less effort thanks to shopify Magic, your 0:21:57.720 --> 0:22:01.640 AI powered all star at all stages of growth, from 0:22:01.640 --> 0:22:05.880 the kitchen to the EEE farm, Shopify is there for you. 0:22:06.119 --> 0:22:09.280 Shopify powers ten percent of all e commerce in the 0:22:09.400 --> 0:22:13.520 US and Shopifies the global force behind all birds rothis Broke, 0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:17.240 lennen Eee, and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size 0:22:17.440 --> 0:22:20.240 across one hundred and seventy five countries plus Shopify as 0:22:20.280 --> 0:22:22.800 award winning help is there to support your success every 0:22:22.840 --> 0:22:25.800 step of the way, because businesses that grow grow as 0:22:25.800 --> 0:22:29.359 Shopify sign up for a one dollar per month trial 0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:32.960 period at shopify dot com slash granger all lowercase. Go 0:22:33.040 --> 0:22:36.720 to shopify dot com slash granger now to grow your 0:22:36.720 --> 0:22:40.120 business no matter what stage you're in shopify dot com 0:22:40.119 --> 0:22:43.320 slash granger. If you want to get a hold of me, 0:22:43.800 --> 0:22:45.920 maybe a video message. You know, you know I could 0:22:45.960 --> 0:22:47.359 do that. People all the time are like, hey, can 0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:49.639 you send me a video message? I'm like, I got 0:22:49.640 --> 0:22:52.040 an easy thing for you to do. Go to cameo 0:22:52.200 --> 0:22:56.680 dot com. That's cam Eo Cameo dot com slash granger 0:22:56.720 --> 0:22:58.960 Smith or just search for me on that website or 0:22:59.040 --> 0:23:02.080 the app, and I'll suit you a video message based 0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:05.040 on what you tell me to do. So it's like, hey, Granger, 0:23:05.480 --> 0:23:08.440 can you please tell my brother in law happy birthday. 0:23:08.520 --> 0:23:11.119 He's a fan of you, and make fun of him 0:23:11.200 --> 0:23:13.480 a little bit because he's a bad fisherman. 0:23:13.960 --> 0:23:15.080 And I read that and I'm. 0:23:14.960 --> 0:23:16.960 Like cool, I get off my phone, turn on the 0:23:17.000 --> 0:23:20.560 camera and it's like, Hey, John, your brother in law 0:23:20.600 --> 0:23:21.760 wanted me to give you a shout. 0:23:22.400 --> 0:23:23.440 I know it's your birthday. 0:23:23.920 --> 0:23:25.399 One of these days I need to give you a 0:23:25.400 --> 0:23:29.040 phishing lesson whatever it might be, Hey, any kind of occasion. 0:23:29.160 --> 0:23:31.640 The message could be you two, but I will send 0:23:31.680 --> 0:23:34.080 you that straight from my phone. Just go to cameo 0:23:34.400 --> 0:23:37.800 dot com slash Granger Smith. Next question comes from Justin. 0:23:37.840 --> 0:23:41.760 It says, Hey Granger, I'm justin IM from Athens, Alabama. 0:23:42.200 --> 0:23:45.480 I like a woman that is in jail a lot 0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:46.720 due to drugs. 0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:49.879 My friends tell me to leave her alone, and I 0:23:49.920 --> 0:23:52.200 want to, but my heart tells me that I need 0:23:52.240 --> 0:23:55.280 to stick around and help her because she obviously doesn't 0:23:55.320 --> 0:23:57.960 have the friends that she needs and I want to 0:23:57.960 --> 0:23:58.600 be there for her. 0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:00.880 Please give me some advice. 0:24:01.840 --> 0:24:04.560 And if I do read this, if you do read 0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:06.960 this email, I want to thank you for your time. 0:24:07.600 --> 0:24:10.159 Christ Is King and yee please come back to northern 0:24:10.200 --> 0:24:14.520