Speaker 1: Last Cultures. This is brought to you by the Forever
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Speaker 1: you all. My grandma and your grandma say I'm bad,
Speaker 1: but my grandma to the other grandma, I'm gonna say,
Speaker 1: it's fun I'm funny. You're talking about Dinna. Go on
Speaker 1: me jagomo and al nay jagomos. Listen. Kelly came, She came, helly,
Speaker 1: thank you, Kelly by She just laughed you guys. Mr
Speaker 1: Kelly Clarkson was here. Kelly was just here you guys.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, preached you one day. Big Dog Cultures
Speaker 1: is calling. Oh my god, this is so many people.
Speaker 1: My goodness. My name is Matt Rogers, my name is Bowen.
Speaker 1: Ye I knew you would do that. I knew. Wait,
Speaker 1: Matt knew I was going to do that. When I
Speaker 1: say my name, he jumps right in right what was
Speaker 1: his name? It is always as like clock work. You
Speaker 1: know what. We are completely insane. We are too too.
Speaker 1: Um you guys, who is here because they're a listener
Speaker 1: of the podcast, who listens like, yeah, who is here
Speaker 1: at their first Lost Cultures this live show? Welcome and
Speaker 1: who has literally no idea what the podcast even is?
Speaker 1: Okay to welcome you as well. It's a lot of this.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of squealing. Yeah, it's it's just a
Speaker 1: series of catchphrases sort of pastiche together. Yeah. Um, oh
Speaker 1: my god, we're just gonna talk a bit up top
Speaker 1: before we go into the show. Um, this is Lost Culture.
Speaker 1: Asta's live. I don't think so, honey. Um we're sponsored
Speaker 1: by Spoke. Everyone Spoke So Spoke is the social audio app. Um,
Speaker 1: they have editors on staff who curate, um, just these
Speaker 1: these story paths for you. So it's this beautiful discovery
Speaker 1: app you can Um, I mean, I love it. I've
Speaker 1: I've discovered a lot of great podcast through this, through
Speaker 1: any topic you can disguise. Just let me show for
Speaker 1: one second, Hill And it's so great. And um, they
Speaker 1: they they made this possible. So yeah, this is amazing.
Speaker 1: It's a way to find the favorite podcast you didn't
Speaker 1: even know you had. And actually it makes us really
Speaker 1: emotional because there's a lot of young days out there
Speaker 1: discovering last culture race. Who wouldn't even know who Amanda
Speaker 1: Pete was if it wasn't for spoke. Who else, bitch,
Speaker 1: who else would we say that? They would never know
Speaker 1: who they were? Francis mcdorman's mcdormand's you know the name,
Speaker 1: but the young days don't know the name? And look,
Speaker 1: so thank you spoke. And here's the most important thing.
Speaker 1: Amanda Pete and Francis McDorman were post stars. And something's
Speaker 1: got to give, Financy Myers that actually it's rule number
Speaker 1: six of culture. Culture is connected, Culture is connected. Connect.
Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna say, Amanda Pete and Francis
Speaker 1: McDorman coach starter and something's gotta give. That's rule number
Speaker 1: Um oh um, Matt, what's been going only? Oh man? Well,
Speaker 1: Last Coat us does have been to the cinema? Okay, yes,
Speaker 1: we've seen some flicks. Who here has seen Kidnap? Wow Nap?
Speaker 1: Not enough wow. Um. I gotta say it made me
Speaker 1: want to vomit at least five times, with good reasons
Speaker 1: from from sheer stress. But it's the best movie of
Speaker 1: the year, best movie of the year far, not in
Speaker 1: the year your dear, dear Hallieberry impression from God. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then she says oh my God five times. And
Speaker 1: also when she loses her phone, that's a real moment
Speaker 1: for her. She keeps feeling like, oh my phone. She
Speaker 1: keeps she's very upset about the phone for a part
Speaker 1: of the movie. But good for the movie though, for
Speaker 1: like working that as a plot device, working that in
Speaker 1: its a plot device. I mean, listen, halle Berry with
Speaker 1: her phone behaves differently than the Hallieberry that's in the movie.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Callieberry with the phone gets
Speaker 1: to call the police. You know what I mean, halle
Speaker 1: Berry without the phone. It's really a comment on phones. Kidnapped,
Speaker 1: halle Berry without the phone reverses on a freeway and
Speaker 1: kills people and actually kills people. She kills more people
Speaker 1: in the movie than the bad guys. Yeah, she kills
Speaker 1: well over a Baker's dozen of people. I'm gonna say, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the Baker's doesn't. The Baker's doesn't. There was a
Speaker 1: little bitch in my head that was like, it's sixteen.
Speaker 1: It's sixteen. Everyone has that little bitch in their head.
Speaker 1: That's wrong. Everyone does right. What else have we seen
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we've seen Girls Trip, Girls Trap. You
Speaker 1: guys have seen Girls Trip. Okay, we loved it. Um,
Speaker 1: I loved it. I could clock the budget allocations in
Speaker 1: that movie. You know, like most of that budget went
Speaker 1: towards Jada's salary, Jada's whatever. I think most of them
Speaker 1: money went to Jada and not to that one airport scene,
Speaker 1: which was obviously like an Arby's. It was an Arby's lobby.
Speaker 1: It was an Arby's lobby. You know how Arbies have lobbies. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, like the lobby to Arby. Yeah. When I'm
Speaker 1: in my Army's I need to be comfortable. I need
Speaker 1: to kick my feet up next to the soda stream.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah. Um. But a lot has been going
Speaker 1: on with news lately since it's been a weird week.
Speaker 1: It's been a really weird week politics, politics, and of
Speaker 1: course by politics, I mean Tylor Swift's trial testifying in court.
Speaker 1: It's I think she's she had great answers. She certainly
Speaker 1: had great answers. It's great to hear her come out
Speaker 1: for this issue. Wish it would have been November. Um,
Speaker 1: but you guys, but it's okay, it's great. You guys,
Speaker 1: cash in on your Taylor Swift goodwill now because in
Speaker 1: about three months she's gonna release Word on the Street
Speaker 1: is a hip hop album, and that's just gonna go
Speaker 1: all and you're not gonna be allowed to like her then,
Speaker 1: So like her now that it's cool. This is your
Speaker 1: small window to like her. Yes, yeah, um, Kesha's album
Speaker 1: today are great. She's definitely definitely Wait what I well,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Let me so. There's like there's like
Speaker 1: the singles which we've all heard, which are great, amazing,
Speaker 1: so great, so exciting, and then every other song was
Speaker 1: like we're like strouting with like a banjo. Yeah, it's fun.
Speaker 1: Do you like it? I like it? I like hunt
Speaker 1: you Down? Great? They know um but no, I mean
Speaker 1: cash is just the latest in this line of song
Speaker 1: stresses that are like lumineering out, like they're just getting
Speaker 1: really it's getting very country, is very country and acoustic
Speaker 1: and they're getting real tweet you guys. And I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's because it's like they want to they
Speaker 1: want to appeal to the maga folks, Like I don't know,
Speaker 1: you think Lady Goata's trying to appeal to the Trump No,
Speaker 1: I think I think she's covering her bases. She's wanting
Speaker 1: to sell albums. That's just that's why they're in the game. Um. Okay.
Speaker 1: And obviously North Korea, that's I mean, that's and like
Speaker 1: and yeah, like North Korea. Um. Here's here's one thing though,
Speaker 1: I will draw this. I will connect these dots just
Speaker 1: to bring us back to Taylor Swift. Here's what which
Speaker 1: we can do. Which we can do rule number of culture.
Speaker 1: It always can be traced back to Taylor Swift. All roads, Um,
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, Kim Jong Un, and Donald Trump have this
Speaker 1: all in common. Yes, do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1: They would all watch you die if it meant they
Speaker 1: made money. Yeah, that is true. Taylor Swift would watch
Speaker 1: the life leave your eyes, and like, I really don't
Speaker 1: want anyone to forget that. Kim Jong Un had his
Speaker 1: uncle fed to like dogs and like they they ripped
Speaker 1: the meat off his bones, And so would Donald and Taylor.
Speaker 1: I think I feel the same way about all of them.
Speaker 1: I think it's absolutely true. Oh my god. Okay, UM,
Speaker 1: let's let's say one more thing. Um, we've got a
Speaker 1: raffle going, I believe, yes, Um, if you've submitted to
Speaker 1: the raffle. Great, um uh, it's it's going to go
Speaker 1: to a great cause, trans Lifeline. Um. And then yeah,
Speaker 1: give it up for trans Lifeline. The raffle gets you
Speaker 1: a culture hat. That culture hat that's perched right there.
Speaker 1: If you win the raffle, that is not everyone is
Speaker 1: leaving this pride that's implied. That's implied. Um, it gets
Speaker 1: you and I don't think so, honey, sure value. And
Speaker 1: it also gets you one more thing, you guys, an
Speaker 1: opportunity to get up here and do and I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. And the last thing, um, the last
Speaker 1: thing it also gets you is maybe a DVD copy
Speaker 1: of from Justin to Kelly. Yeah maybe, and we might
Speaker 1: we might fulfill. We have someone working on it. They're
Speaker 1: really hard to track down. They're shocking shockingly hard to trackdown,
Speaker 1: so so shockingly hard. Yeah. Now, um, you guys who
Speaker 1: here was up the last I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: live So you guys kind of know how it works.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have fifty comics come up here and do
Speaker 1: and I don't think so, honey. Now what exactly is?
Speaker 1: And I don't think so, honey, Bowen And I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey is a lot of things. It's a phrase,
Speaker 1: it's a unit of measurement um for the purposes of
Speaker 1: this show. Yeah, so it's one minute to just rail
Speaker 1: on something in culture. That's just grinding your gears, that's
Speaker 1: pushing your buttons, that's really making you say, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, I don't think so, honey. Now, a lot
Speaker 1: of our comics backstage have come with prepared topics like
Speaker 1: they're really it's it's scary back there. They want to
Speaker 1: get up here and they want to scream. However, some
Speaker 1: of them are just a little bit more loosey goosey
Speaker 1: about it. They're going to do something a little crazy.
Speaker 1: They're gonna dive into the troll ball bow. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what shows the trouball troubal Wow, give it up for
Speaker 1: our straight producer Alex whose voice that is he said,
Speaker 1: trouble Henry. It's pretty good. And there's many different variations
Speaker 1: of that appropriation still to come. So um, yes, we've
Speaker 1: carved a bowl and and here are literally over a
Speaker 1: hundred items of culture meant to troll our comics if
Speaker 1: they are brave enough to dive into. The Now, most
Speaker 1: of these are our universally beloved things that our our
Speaker 1: comedians have to go negative on no matter what. For example,
Speaker 1: on our last show, UM, Chrissy Shackelford, are you here,
Speaker 1: what's up? Christie picked out hey girl, picked out Julie
Speaker 1: Andrews out of the bowl, and I believe she got
Speaker 1: red on some variation of why do you have short hair?
Speaker 1: So you know, things like that, and and what are
Speaker 1: you doing in Princess Diaries? Real questions, So hold that
Speaker 1: in your hearts as you watch. Um. But before we bring,
Speaker 1: before we go into this, we have a really special
Speaker 1: celebrity guest. We do we We have a celebrity guest
Speaker 1: and this is actually insane. We were able to get
Speaker 1: this town because she's in town, and we didn't know
Speaker 1: that she would be in town, and she was in
Speaker 1: town for our last one. This is crazy. She's an
Speaker 1: Academy Award nominated actress several times. She's been in the
Speaker 1: movie The Kids Are all Right, she's been in The Grifters. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're reaching for it. Don't let her see you not
Speaker 1: be able to name one? Now, twentieth century women, I mean,
Speaker 1: the list goes on. Everyone, Please welcome to the stage.
Speaker 1: A net Benning. That Benning is here. Pull over a chair,
Speaker 1: pull a chair over and oh my god, a Nette,
Speaker 1: I'm hugging you from over here. Hey babe, how are
Speaker 1: you so gred to see you? And that? And that?
Speaker 1: How are you pull the mic? Pull the mic, pull
Speaker 1: the mic and that? Yeah, so this is live radio,
Speaker 1: live radio, live radio is what this is? Att What
Speaker 1: are you doing in town? This is such a surprise.
Speaker 1: It's really kuld have amazing right that I'm here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's amazing again again. Well I'm here to see I
Speaker 1: just wanted to see some theater, of course, and I
Speaker 1: my main reasons. I was here last year seeing theater
Speaker 1: of course, a production of a Fella with really kind
Speaker 1: of amazing, amazing actors. Um and I had I went
Speaker 1: to it's in the corner of like twelve Hudson said,
Speaker 1: there's a market there, and I had an apple, had
Speaker 1: an apple and had an apple from you know, one
Speaker 1: of like a farm stand, right farming, and you know
Speaker 1: it was kind of like red calico like modeled and
Speaker 1: the skin was so paper thin. So we baked it
Speaker 1: into this crumball. We you was the best crumball ever had.
Speaker 1: So I've been on the hunt for that Apple did
Speaker 1: Warren Love? Okay, so you're back in New York kind
Speaker 1: of farmers market hopping, sort of trying to source she's
Speaker 1: on Apple. Um, which right with what you were talking
Speaker 1: about earlier, with what's going on with everything that's kind
Speaker 1: of you know going on and like what like what
Speaker 1: kind of things are there's right? You know there as
Speaker 1: you were talking about um theater. Yes, well you were
Speaker 1: talking about I did, I was, and then you were
Speaker 1: talking about Taylor Swift. What are your thoughts on Taylor? Well,
Speaker 1: I've never met her, so I can't really give him
Speaker 1: a opinion because I've never met the girl. But um,
Speaker 1: I do like the drawings of the courtroom. I was
Speaker 1: kind of love that. So they're sketching where it's someone
Speaker 1: in the corner kind of you know, that's gonna have
Speaker 1: an odd job, and I kind of appreciate that you're
Speaker 1: connected with the artist in the room. Yeah. Absolutely, just
Speaker 1: some kind of taking it in the observer and then
Speaker 1: filtering that through. Yeah, that's I need to bring this
Speaker 1: back to you because there's a lot of already a
Speaker 1: lot of buzz for you for Oscars. What is what's
Speaker 1: this new movie? It's called Film Stars Don't Die in
Speaker 1: Liverpool and it starts do Net Benning and it's coming
Speaker 1: up this year and they're saying this could be your
Speaker 1: year in Net to win an Academy Award. They said
Speaker 1: that last year they did. What do you know who
Speaker 1: won last year? Em A Stone? You know she's going
Speaker 1: to be in a movie at the end of the year,
Speaker 1: or she's gonna play Billy jen King in a biopic
Speaker 1: Oscar Buzz Billy Jene King. Yeah, in a bio picture.
Speaker 1: Em A Stone, Billy Jean King. Wow. Okay, great for
Speaker 1: Emma Wow. So I guess we'll see in it. We'll
Speaker 1: see you know you are here. And this is amazing
Speaker 1: that you heard to sing our national anthem. I am so.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys knew this, but I
Speaker 1: don't think so Honey does have a national anthem. We
Speaker 1: are not a nation, and yet we have a national
Speaker 1: anthem right, and so I guess I would create quite
Speaker 1: a community though, I mean, look here, thank you that constituents, constituents,
Speaker 1: it's a happy room. So everyone I asked, I asked
Speaker 1: you all to please rise as we have the national anthem.
Speaker 1: If I don't think Honey performed by Academy Award nominated
Speaker 1: actress a Nette Benning. Oh, okay, when you feel there
Speaker 1: are things in this world that you hate, When you
Speaker 1: feel there are things you don't like, when you need
Speaker 1: to speak out and you need to shout, you must sick.
Speaker 1: But I don't think so, honey. I don't think so child.
Speaker 1: I don't think so bitch. I don't think so honey.
Speaker 1: I don't think so child. I don't think so bitch.
Speaker 1: Fanning anyone, hell legend, Thank you so much, and that
Speaker 1: good luck this Oscar season. Luck everyone wishing that good luck.
Speaker 1: Thank you that I heard Jennifer Lawrence getting a lot
Speaker 1: of buzz too. A lot of younger actresses, A lot
Speaker 1: of younger actress is getting buzzed this year. Again, we'll
Speaker 1: see what happens. All right, guys, I think it's time
Speaker 1: to get started. Yeah, yep, all right. So this is
Speaker 1: this is the moment where we do a little demo people,
Speaker 1: So everyone there was here in our least. I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey knows that um I got to do.
Speaker 1: Are prepared. I don't think so, honey. On restaurants that
Speaker 1: don't have the tools where you need a crap crap
Speaker 1: and Bowen picked from the troll bowl and he had
Speaker 1: to do. And I don't think so, honey about Sarah
Speaker 1: Paulson the accident. It's very hard. So things are gonna
Speaker 1: switch up, aren't they They are. We're gonna switch a.
Speaker 1: We're gonna switch her. Okay, So this is Bowen yanks.
Speaker 1: I don't think so many that he has prepared. We're
Speaker 1: gonna go to a woman on the clof Now you'll
Speaker 1: see as as the clof ticks. Now we're gonna paddle.
Speaker 1: I have thirty seconds here, I have fifteen seconds left here,
Speaker 1: I have five seconds and I have that's one minute.
Speaker 1: Have a water gun here for anyone that goes over.
Speaker 1: And I don't care who the funk you are, and
Speaker 1: I have to go over during our show. We're gonna
Speaker 1: get sprayed, all right? Okay, So Bowen, are you all
Speaker 1: ready for your I don't think so, honey. I'm ready.
Speaker 1: Here we go. Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Missed delivery notifications on my fucking door. You're gonna make
Speaker 1: Can me go to fucking oh Zone Park to pick
Speaker 1: up my thirty dollar as swatch? This is I was
Speaker 1: look my uber too, oh Zone Park would have costs
Speaker 1: more than the watch Listen, I am a busy little bitch.
Speaker 1: I am rarely ever home. I'm not some hermetic you
Speaker 1: know shut in who's gonna stay at home all day
Speaker 1: and wait by the telephone or the doorbell to wait
Speaker 1: from this ups person to ring the doorbell. Ups. You're
Speaker 1: trying to domesticate the marginalized communities of America. Seconds. Make
Speaker 1: it about. Come on, baby, make us stay home and
Speaker 1: keep us dumb and keep us down. No, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, You're not gonna do that. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: live side of life and go outside. And yeah, people
Speaker 1: are gonna throw tomatoes at me for being who I am,
Speaker 1: but that's not gonna stop me from coming home to
Speaker 1: a fucking bullshit slip. That's one minute in five seconds.
Speaker 1: You don't got it, yang, not a hermetic person. Not
Speaker 1: I am not hermetic. Not hermetic? Okay that was that was?
Speaker 1: Did I get your right? You don't do a sixty
Speaker 1: five second long piece of guards. Somehow the water jet
Speaker 1: stream surpassed the lens. I don't aim to miss. Oh god, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, so this is Matt Rogers is troll bull
Speaker 1: pick for his I don't think so, honey, Matt Rogers
Speaker 1: little disclosure. I did create all these trollball topics, so
Speaker 1: I know what's coming in some way. But we'll see
Speaker 1: what happens. Here we go, Here we go, Matt Rogers,
Speaker 1: you have to go negative on Wonder Woman and hold
Speaker 1: on one second. Oh, I'm so sorry. I should have
Speaker 1: gotten this ready sooner. Wonder Woman, you have to do it,
Speaker 1: sorry to do it? Okay, okay, And Matt Rodgers, is
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. From the troll Ball wonder
Speaker 1: Woman time starts now? I don't think so, honey, Wonder Woman. Galgato,
Speaker 1: why do we often match your accent because you can't
Speaker 1: do an American one, Galgato, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: You were charming, but that doesn't really mean too much, Galgato,
Speaker 1: because you couldn't do an app suda than your own.
Speaker 1: We have to suffer through that. Robin Right, bullshit, Robin Right.
Speaker 1: You don't belong in this movie. You are modern. I
Speaker 1: don't see you in contemporary period. Also, Wonder Woman not
Speaker 1: nearly enough naked, Chris Pine. If we're gonna flip the script, honey,
Speaker 1: let's really objectify our meats let's see Chris pine Stick.
Speaker 1: Let's see that cats been jays, Crisp pine Stick. Let's
Speaker 1: see that's it my seconds wait, Chrispine dicken Field and
Speaker 1: that's one minute. Wow. To be honest, no matter what
Speaker 1: I talk about, it always goes back to Chris Pine's dick.
Speaker 1: So all roads lead back to Chris Pine's deck. Thank
Speaker 1: you for being with me on that. You guys excited
Speaker 1: to get this fucking started. Yeah, all right, we're gonna
Speaker 1: bring out our first group of the night. We're giving
Speaker 1: them names tonight, and they group they make no sense,
Speaker 1: and just go with him, please, guys, this is a
Speaker 1: group number one Firebirds. Firebirds. Give it up for Nicole
Speaker 1: silver Birds. Yes, give it up for Nicole Specio, Keisha Zola,
Speaker 1: give it up for Michael Caine. Give it up for
Speaker 1: Lauren Adams. Alright, Firebirds, Alight, the Firebirds begin. Here we go, Oh,
Speaker 1: Nicole silver b I think I know what she's gonna do. Yes,
Speaker 1: pre selected or bowl speak your truth. I'm going to
Speaker 1: do the troll ball. Do you pick for me? Here
Speaker 1: we go. I'm gonna pick for you, face the audience
Speaker 1: as you're subjected to this. Here we go, Nicole Silverberg.
Speaker 1: Your I don't think so, honey. Is Jennifer Garner and
Speaker 1: your time starts now? I don't think so, honey, Jennifer Garner.
Speaker 1: Oh you're such a nice girl. Oh you're the Capital
Speaker 1: one bitch of the world. You're telling me that your
Speaker 1: dad really called Capital one and bragged about being your
Speaker 1: father in this fucking climate. Did you know that my
Speaker 1: daughter is the one who got cheated on very public?
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Jennifer Garner. Letting ben Afflecks stay in her else, bitch,
Speaker 1: get out of there. You pick up your kids from school.
Speaker 1: We all see you. You're putting on a very put
Speaker 1: together show, deliberate, and I don't think so, honey. Alias
Speaker 1: really fell off after season three? What was the two
Speaker 1: years second? I don't think so, honey, Jennifer Garner. You
Speaker 1: could have done better, and you still can if you
Speaker 1: give yourself a shot. I don't think so, honey, Jennifer Garner.
Speaker 1: That's one minute for those Capital One commercials. They are
Speaker 1: bullshit amazing Nicole and now NICOLESO, what do we think? Okay, okay, Nicole,
Speaker 1: here we go, Well, this is unbelievable. We got we
Speaker 1: a trouble down. Thank you, thank you so much. Okay, Nicole,
Speaker 1: you're I don't think so, honey. Is this sentence Santa
Speaker 1: Claus is fake? Go negative on the idea? The sentiments
Speaker 1: of Santa Claus is fake. Okay, your time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. You fucking magic crush your
Speaker 1: Why are you so fucking dead inside that you can't
Speaker 1: let yourself imagine? You can't You want to crush the
Speaker 1: dreams of little babies around the world who literally want games.
Speaker 1: That's what you're gonna do. You look a goddamn baby,
Speaker 1: and it's fucking I don't think so. Okay, magic is real,
Speaker 1: Christmas is great. There problems with Christianity at all. We
Speaker 1: had a mascot, honey, it was Jesus. We said, let's
Speaker 1: get another mascot. Okay, I don't I know. You know what,
Speaker 1: if you want to talk about it, you hate fat people.
Speaker 1: That's why you don't like Santa. Yeah, you thought you
Speaker 1: want to go. I don't be so again. This is
Speaker 1: bull shit. Okay, let's just what man, blood. Don't Santa
Speaker 1: Claus is fake? My ass? Santa Claus lives. Here we go, Here,
Speaker 1: we go it is time. Keisha, Come on, Keisha. Is
Speaker 1: this gonna be pre written or is this going to
Speaker 1: be from the bull um? I want to let the
Speaker 1: audience decide what I know. I know the audience, all right,
Speaker 1: lead this trouble, trouble, all right, give me the trouble. Okay, Wow,
Speaker 1: this is unprecedented. Your I don't think so, honey, is
Speaker 1: Sandra Bullock and your time starts right now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, Sandra Bullock. Uh, you aren't another version
Speaker 1: of America's sweetheart. You are the ultimate bachelorette. What do
Speaker 1: I mean by that? You can't keep a racist man married?
Speaker 1: Or racist? And then to prove you weren't racist, you've
Speaker 1: got a black baby. I don't see you think so, honey.
Speaker 1: I seek you're racist. I see you're racist. As tactics,
Speaker 1: you probably bring that little black baby and you think,
Speaker 1: oh baby, oh baby. I got you as a souvenir
Speaker 1: because because I married someone who like was Nazi racist
Speaker 1: and I ignored it. I lost my damn husband to
Speaker 1: a tattoo artist, and I'm thinking about my life choices.
Speaker 1: I don't think so leave the black babies a lot second,
Speaker 1: I don't think so Sandra Bullock. You need to get
Speaker 1: your ass back to breeding. I don't know. Unbelievable. Keep
Speaker 1: it going, sandraw Box, stay away, Michael Clack again, take
Speaker 1: the mic Oh man, this hunk. Oh, Michael's gonna hats
Speaker 1: are hats starting, Michael. So the question of the hour
Speaker 1: we're gonna do? What are we gonna do? Pre selected
Speaker 1: or from the ball? Um? I'm gonna do a pre
Speaker 1: selector of first pre selected of the night. Here we go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's great, Okay, prepared is strong, but preselected is this
Speaker 1: is Michael Caine's I don't think so, honey. Time starts now,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. People who told me I
Speaker 1: would like the movie Dune Kirk. John Kirk is fucking
Speaker 1: boring from start to finish. If you don't fall asleep
Speaker 1: during dun Kirk, you are an asshole. Oh my gosh, Michael,
Speaker 1: this is what war was really like? Is it was war?
Speaker 1: Me and a hundred people in a movie theater eating
Speaker 1: milk duds while I watch fucking beautiful pictures seconds. There
Speaker 1: are no characters in this movie. There's ten minutes of
Speaker 1: acting and the rest is fucking pictures. John Kirk should
Speaker 1: have been a poster. That's it, fifteen seconds. Keep going.
Speaker 1: The only character you kind of care about is some
Speaker 1: random boy, and when he dies, you're like, who the
Speaker 1: fuck was that? Even Mark? Even Mark Ryland's the second
Speaker 1: greatest actor in the world. Joe Pesci man him that
Speaker 1: man good. Don Kirk sucks, Don Kirk size wow, and
Speaker 1: he was hoping for Harry Styles. Thank you, my man.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. We have Lauren Adam the hat. Here's
Speaker 1: the big question. Yes, please, are we doing the trouble?
Speaker 1: Are we doing well? I? First of all, I want
Speaker 1: to say the Trouble is a gorgeous salad ball, and
Speaker 1: I would like to own it, made it, We made
Speaker 1: it ourselves, and I would like to select from it.
Speaker 1: Here we go. I'm very scared. Here we go. Okay,
Speaker 1: So Lauren, yes, your I don't think so, honey. Okay?
Speaker 1: Is Broadway? I don't think so, honey, Broadway. Who the
Speaker 1: hell do you think you are? Okay one of Beyonce's
Speaker 1: backup danswers, because you're not okay and I don't think so, honey, Broadway.
Speaker 1: Why do you think that you need special awards ceremonies? Okay?
Speaker 1: You think that we need to watch fucking Alan coming
Speaker 1: for forty five minutes telling shitty jokes with Crinny's Christian Tennis.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Also, Broadway, fuck you, Okay,
Speaker 1: you want to know why, because the only people who
Speaker 1: come to sit more crusty white people from New Jersey
Speaker 1: and ain't nobody liked them and nobody like them? Okay.
Speaker 1: And another thing, Broadway, Okay, you're too fucking expensive, so
Speaker 1: what you're given? Okay seconds, I don't think that this
Speaker 1: show costs as much as Broadway. And this show is
Speaker 1: fucking better. Okay, So I don't think so Broadway. You
Speaker 1: can take your tap shoes and shove them up your
Speaker 1: Broadway at Love Broadwayway, Love Broadway back giving up Fireberg,
Speaker 1: I'm not Paul Silverberg, Michael Kay, ain't Lauren Adams Firebird
Speaker 1: really brought They brought the fire, just as their name dictated. Wow,
Speaker 1: there were a lot of troubles in that, A lot
Speaker 1: of troubles. I don't know. Is this a pattern? I hope?
Speaker 1: I hope. So guys, give it up for your next group.
Speaker 1: They're called water Frog. Give it up for Peter Smith, Yes, Peter, Peter,
Speaker 1: get a boky young wife on line. Give it up
Speaker 1: for Molly Austin. Yeah, where are give it up for seat,
Speaker 1: saying Staying himself is here? Give it up here, Peters,
Speaker 1: Molly Island, and Laura Ramirez. All right, all right, so
Speaker 1: the first up is a net bathing themselves. Peter Smith. Peter, Wow, Peter,
Speaker 1: what's it gonna be? A bowler? Pre selected? Pre selected? Okay,
Speaker 1: the topic from Peter. Here we go. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Peter Smith. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Guests who come into my home, I give them a
Speaker 1: can of pop, they drink four zips, leave it. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. I don't think so, because what
Speaker 1: do I do? I don't know that they haven't finished it.
Speaker 1: I walk around the house until the next day. I
Speaker 1: see a can, I'm like, that's probably empty. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: there's weight there, there's mass there, there's fluid ounces there.
Speaker 1: Kind I got a time. I didn't hear it. I
Speaker 1: don't think so. I'm a I'm a I'm a nice person.
Speaker 1: You come in beverage, short cheek? What do you think
Speaker 1: this is? Do you think this is like a like
Speaker 1: a tree that lax grows on second, I didn't grow
Speaker 1: up in a kind of household. I didn't grow up
Speaker 1: in a oh yeah, boo bye, No, no, I'm second, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Guests, that's what's one minute.
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey. Guess if you're a guest,
Speaker 1: your guest fuck you or have ever been a guest,
Speaker 1: get get fucked? And now you get sucked. And then
Speaker 1: here we go. It's Molly Austin. Molly, what the hell
Speaker 1: are we doing? Um? I think I think let's just
Speaker 1: let's oh boy decisions, let's just doboy. I'm so afraid. Okay, Molly,
Speaker 1: your I don't think so, honey. Is that I have
Speaker 1: to tip this waitress and time starts now? I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey. I have to tip this waitress after
Speaker 1: she made zero icon contact with me. Okay. I love courtesy,
Speaker 1: I love friendliness, and you're showing me none, and I
Speaker 1: have to give you my money. I don't think so
Speaker 1: why I have said this waitress, it's a percentage. I honestly,
Speaker 1: I went to Spain and nobody does it, and everybody's happier.
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you what else. The ladies get their
Speaker 1: tits out and the cops looks like they work out,
Speaker 1: and I think I think we can draw that back
Speaker 1: to tipping. I think if we got a pie chart
Speaker 1: out right now, it would have a lot to do
Speaker 1: with sexy men and ladies titties, because there's not a
Speaker 1: lot of tipping going on. I also, I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. I believe in a fair wage. Okay,
Speaker 1: I believe in fair wages for everyone, and the tips
Speaker 1: should be included. Why do I have to do math?
Speaker 1: That's what we believe in a fair way way, Molly Austin,
Speaker 1: Here we go. It is time for jabooky. You'm white.
Speaker 1: Here we go, baby Ja. Let me think I'm doing
Speaker 1: pre selected Yes, I don't think so, honey. Cargo shorts
Speaker 1: m shorts are for keeping your bits cool and popping
Speaker 1: your calves. That is what shorts are for. The only
Speaker 1: reason that you need to be wearing cargo shorts is
Speaker 1: if you're like a twink and a game for pay
Speaker 1: porno there's one, or like you're a dad at a
Speaker 1: barbecue and you've got like a spatchelor hanging out. Decide.
Speaker 1: The only person was ever honestly truly pulled it off casually.
Speaker 1: The late Great Steve Irwin, you know who. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Do you think that you can compare
Speaker 1: to Steve Irwin? Like? That is one of the highest
Speaker 1: levels of human folly, Like you really need the ball back.
Speaker 1: You cannot do that? Um also acceptable if you just
Speaker 1: had like some cute little small mammals hanging in your pockets,
Speaker 1: that would also be really cute. If you are wearing
Speaker 1: cargo shorts tonight, it's okay. You can go home, get
Speaker 1: rid of it. You are born again, yea crownigh levels
Speaker 1: of human folly hashtag it hashtag unbelievable. Guys, please give
Speaker 1: it up for Satan. Satan himself, this is unbelievable. But
Speaker 1: if this is happening, wow, what is this going to be? High? Satan?
Speaker 1: Feel free to not put that high Satan pre slap
Speaker 1: dinner from the ball. I'll do a pre check. Very fine, Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go. This is Satan's I don't think so, Honey.
Speaker 1: Time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Beach parties
Speaker 1: not honey, Okay, not my element, honey. Why would I
Speaker 1: go to your beach party if I wanted a cool breeze,
Speaker 1: I would choke the life out of you myself. If
Speaker 1: I wanted waves, I would summon an ocean of blood
Speaker 1: to my doorstep. If I wanted sand between my toes,
Speaker 1: I would grind your bones to just seconds chick my
Speaker 1: hooves in it. If I wanted to see a bunch
Speaker 1: of legally nude homosexuals roasting under a ball of fire,
Speaker 1: I would look at John Travolta's browser hearstary and by
Speaker 1: the way, my skin is my skin is court and
Speaker 1: I'm not about to literally incinerate for the chance to
Speaker 1: try your fucking potato salad. Michelle shut it down, knock by.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, gave me your firstborn beach parties.
Speaker 1: That's one minute, say saying himself, John Trabolta's browser herstary,
Speaker 1: thank you for that. That put a pin in that.
Speaker 1: It's probably gross, Probably gross, guys, probably wonderful. All right now, everyone,
Speaker 1: please welcome Laura La Ramira. Laura, she looks so sunny
Speaker 1: and happy. Oh my god, Laura, Lauraa, what's that smile
Speaker 1: on your face? What's it gonna be so happy today?
Speaker 1: I thought I could go by the little trouble. Can
Speaker 1: I can? I can? I can? I pick it? So
Speaker 1: It's like a surprise to me when I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: pick it. You're allowed to do that, Okay, Laura, lie, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's hold on. Okay, Okay, here we go. Ok A
Speaker 1: lot of people Okay. I hope this is good. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, Honey. It's um it's uh what what
Speaker 1: is it? It's Eliza's listener. Oh my god, Eliza. No,
Speaker 1: we can't go negative on. No, no, I can't. You
Speaker 1: can't give it up from La Ramiro to call they
Speaker 1: want to go give it up for this giving water
Speaker 1: frogs Loi, La Ramiro, Geter, snap Satan, that switter Satan,
Speaker 1: Max Winter took a young white Molly Often. Oh my god, Wow,
Speaker 1: that was insane. We had some real experiences in that
Speaker 1: group that was so a typical of the show. But
Speaker 1: that's that's what I love. Ding Dong, We're lost. Culture.
Speaker 1: Rista is here to tell you about a little app
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Speaker 1: coke dot com slash r s S. That's h e
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Speaker 1: So get on it, honey. Spoken in the App Store
Speaker 1: and the Google Play Store right now, just waiting for
Speaker 1: you to download it, and once you have, be sure
Speaker 1: to check out the best of I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: path for lots lots more of us. The next group
Speaker 1: is called Queens for Christ waits for Christ, Give it
Speaker 1: up for hi Ha, give it up for Jason, give
Speaker 1: it up for Jean's for God. Come on, give it
Speaker 1: up for Douglas. And last but not least, Kristen Bartlett.
Speaker 1: All right, Hallie, Oh my god, it's Hallie. Has everybody
Speaker 1: here we go? Now here's the question. How, what's the
Speaker 1: answer bow. You gotta give it to me. Okay, well
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm not gonna do the ball. Okay, listen
Speaker 1: to your pre the topic and you kill it. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm ready. This is Hollie Hasses. I don't think so
Speaker 1: many you would tell me to go yes, I will
Speaker 1: all say time starts now, Okay, Hollie Hasses, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Pretty boys with beards, what is going on? I want
Speaker 1: to see your face. I want to see that jawline.
Speaker 1: I wish I had that jawline. Now I can't even
Speaker 1: see it. Okay. Beards are for method actors and bartenders
Speaker 1: with something to prove you you are not those things.
Speaker 1: You have a pretty face? You think we want a
Speaker 1: pull bunyon. I'm looking at little Jack Horner over in
Speaker 1: the corner with his thumb up in some pie. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And does he have a beard?
Speaker 1: Does he have a beard? I don't think so? People,
Speaker 1: How how am I on time? Okay? Here we go. Um,
Speaker 1: you have to leave the beards to the people who
Speaker 1: need beer. It's Mark Ruffalo, he needs a beard. Yeah, Jeff,
Speaker 1: Daniels needs a beard, Hyla buff. I don't know if
Speaker 1: he needs a beard, but he needs something. Okay, give
Speaker 1: it to those guys. Save your face. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: That's one minute, right on time, halle hat we lived.
Speaker 1: Beautiful beards are for bartenders with something to prove. Wow,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it's time for Jason. Jason. Come on, baby,
Speaker 1: Jason's wearing the houses in Jason, it's time to choose
Speaker 1: the bowl or the priest. Like the topic? Well, guys,
Speaker 1: I want to say you added me literally an hour
Speaker 1: ago while he was drinking at the metal bar across
Speaker 1: the street. Lutely we saw him, we sent him. So
Speaker 1: because of that, I'm going to do the ball to
Speaker 1: the bottom. Here we go. Okay, Jason, you're I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Topic is vegetables. Me okay, I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey. Vegetables. Good lord, I mean, is that
Speaker 1: really that hard for me? When's the last time I
Speaker 1: ate a vegetable? I went to Just Salad the other day.
Speaker 1: They have bowls and wraps and smoothies. I got a
Speaker 1: smoothie instead of the salad. Yes, I don't think so
Speaker 1: vegetables You're not a cheese steak. You're not a pizza.
Speaker 1: You're not a weird fisherman's platter at some place I
Speaker 1: go to at the beach. I mean, honestly, vegetables are overrated.
Speaker 1: Nobody gives a ship about vegetables. You're eating all your salad,
Speaker 1: You're putting it on top of keen wall. Nobody cares.
Speaker 1: We're all gonna die very soon. Why not eat what
Speaker 1: you love? What do you love? Meatballs? Good fucking eat meatballs.
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey, vegetables. I think can keep
Speaker 1: going to pick it. Oh, god, fucking zucchini, right, I
Speaker 1: don't think so honey, vegetable. That's one Jason bar I
Speaker 1: don't care. What a champ for filling in? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: And now please welcome to the stage. Mujan's alfaghari. What
Speaker 1: do we think? So? I was going to do the bowl,
Speaker 1: but then I just check my email and thought about something. Wow, okay,
Speaker 1: something on the mind. Let me as you start. Let
Speaker 1: me up play that moment again so you can start
Speaker 1: the moment, ok, moment, I don't think so many email.
Speaker 1: Oh I got invited to a party, that's great? Oh
Speaker 1: who's invited? I don't know because it's a B C C.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Motherfucking BC stands for bitches, cop
Speaker 1: fucking contact. Go to a party, I want to know
Speaker 1: who else is going? Are my enemies gonna be there?
Speaker 1: Are my ex is gonna be there? Is the one
Speaker 1: who I want? Who I want to be there, gonna
Speaker 1: be there? Why isn't just going to be the person
Speaker 1: who invited me? Seconds? Here's a fun fact about society.
Speaker 1: Eight percent of people are murderers. I don't want to
Speaker 1: go party alone to be murdered by. I don't know
Speaker 1: who's on that list. If I reply with a funny joke,
Speaker 1: what's so fuck you be easy? I have left. That's one.
Speaker 1: It's true. Technically, it could just be that one person
Speaker 1: could be and it's true of human beings are murderer.
Speaker 1: Look it up, look it up. There. Here we go,
Speaker 1: very excited for this next one. Everyone welcome. Douglas White
Speaker 1: Egg Doug, So yeah, you can hand them in that
Speaker 1: hat much? Here we go. What do you think I'm
Speaker 1: going pre selected? Douglas? I don't think so many times
Speaker 1: starts now my I don't think so. Honey is raspberries
Speaker 1: if you like raspberries? You are lying to yourself. Nobody
Speaker 1: likes a raspberry. It's a hairy fruit. The haryest the
Speaker 1: fruit can be, as a peach. That's the hairyest the
Speaker 1: fruit can be. I don't think so, honey, raspberries. Somebody
Speaker 1: wants to eat a bumpy little fruit in your mouth.
Speaker 1: Anybody who lies to themselves that they genuinely love raspberries
Speaker 1: is lying. You have to cover it in sugar for
Speaker 1: it to become palatable. Anything you have to cull. If
Speaker 1: you love, if you like raspberries, raise your hand. You
Speaker 1: are wrong, You have a wrong opinion. It's not possible
Speaker 1: to be right in this conversation. If you like raspberries,
Speaker 1: and there's no there's a reason there's no raspberry juice.
Speaker 1: You mean anyone who drinks raspberry juice? And I think so, honey, raspberries,
Speaker 1: they are bad, bad fruit. Drisk Alls, You're going out
Speaker 1: of business. That's one minute, Fuck you, Driscolls. I love
Speaker 1: drisk All. I hate raspberry. I hate them, love them,
Speaker 1: I hate that hate you love them so much. Blueberries too,
Speaker 1: They do have extra bump they make them, okay, they
Speaker 1: have extra bumps. And I don't think so, honey. It's
Speaker 1: time for Christen Bartlin. Kristen, Yes, put on that hat style, Yes, Christen,
Speaker 1: what's it gonna be? Okay? Or you whenever you're ready?
Speaker 1: Here we go. I'm ready. I'm sorry, yeah, sorry go.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Skinny people walked around like
Speaker 1: you did something to earn it. You don't deserve that ship.
Speaker 1: You know who did it for you, your mother and
Speaker 1: the daddy. You know. Well, I have a fit bit
Speaker 1: two bitch, I still look like this, you sucking cut.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Size twos who get pissed
Speaker 1: about the phrase real women have curves. Women who ran
Speaker 1: saying I used to get the late because I'm skinny
Speaker 1: and I'm very tall. Am I not a real woman? No,
Speaker 1: you are a real cut and you you can't shop everywhere, Okay?
Speaker 1: If I get new parent chains, I have to go
Speaker 1: to Paramus, New Jersey, to the Good Lane Brian. People
Speaker 1: who are okay are the ones with fat moms and
Speaker 1: who had a lap band because they're gonna be fat again.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, Henry. Yeah that's one. Oh your
Speaker 1: laugh BN, but just you will be fat again. Kristen Bartlett.
Speaker 1: Everyone give it up for this amazing room Hallie Ha Sayson, Gary,
Speaker 1: Douglas White and Kristen Bartlett. Everybody, The good Lane Bryant
Speaker 1: is in Paramus, New Jersey. Now we know that's where
Speaker 1: the good Land Brian is. That's where it is. Guys.
Speaker 1: Give it up for your next group, Shadow, shadow Dancers,
Speaker 1: up for Tally, Meta, up for Jasmine beer. Come on Tally,
Speaker 1: Come on Jay got eleanor Pienta and she need some money.
Speaker 1: Come on where your girl? This she is? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: We got the cocoon centrals and the reductresses and the
Speaker 1: shadow dancers. They are collectively known First up as Tally
Speaker 1: Tally Mike, let's go tu Yes, make your way. This
Speaker 1: is the moment, soak it in. But the energy, Tally,
Speaker 1: what's it going to be? Pre think you know what?
Speaker 1: I think the thing that I I thought of before
Speaker 1: I was gonna go trouble. But I think that I
Speaker 1: know what I hate. Okay, I want to know what. Okay, Tally,
Speaker 1: your time starts now, I don't think so. Honey, sponges,
Speaker 1: you stinky ass bitches, get the funk away from my dishes.
Speaker 1: Spend money on my vintage cute ass little porcelain plates
Speaker 1: to rub shit onto them. Thank you, honey. I will
Speaker 1: use a scrap of an old curtain that I cut
Speaker 1: up into a little square, and I will throw it
Speaker 1: directly into my laundry. I will use a new scrap
Speaker 1: of cloth. I will seconds, because I love my belongings.
Speaker 1: I will cut up all kinds of clothes I don't
Speaker 1: use anymore in to cute as little squares, and I
Speaker 1: will get them all soapy. They will not be full
Speaker 1: of fucking dead ass bugs. People use sponges rots, think
Speaker 1: about this. Do not use spotches. They're just gonna choke
Speaker 1: a sea turtle in the ocean one day. They are
Speaker 1: not natural pases. Come on, God, use your curtains like that.
Speaker 1: It makes a good point about sponges. I've never trusted
Speaker 1: a sponge man, never if they're near my plates, I
Speaker 1: don't like it. I still have the juice of what
Speaker 1: you just grubbed off, and the crusts them, the crust
Speaker 1: of the juice. All right, Here we go. Next up
Speaker 1: is Jasmine Pierce. Here we go, baby, Jasmine, Jasmine. What
Speaker 1: what's your take? What are we doing in? I'm not
Speaker 1: doing the bull I don't trust you guys. You should, okay,
Speaker 1: you know you're trying to make me hate something I love.
Speaker 1: I'm not ready for that. I don't think so Hony.
Speaker 1: Time starts now. Okay, I don't think so Honey love. No, no,
Speaker 1: I don't. First of all, do you even exist? No?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Get over yourself. Okay, you talk about Oh,
Speaker 1: love is the greatest thing and everyone in the world
Speaker 1: needs it? Okay, Then why has love made everyone in
Speaker 1: this room cry? Thank you? I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: think so Hony love absolutely not. If love is so great,
Speaker 1: how come it's the reason that I don't have any friends.
Speaker 1: They're a loving people. Thank you? You two love each other? No,
Speaker 1: thank you. I don't need it. I don't need it.
Speaker 1: You all love each other. I know there's people in
Speaker 1: this audience that love each other too. No, thank you? Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: love is ridiculous, Okay, Oh, okay. There's a word for
Speaker 1: you every language. Who cares. I don't think that there's
Speaker 1: so what if there's like fifty German words for love?
Speaker 1: Nobody needs to hear that? Thank you? I don't think
Speaker 1: so honny. Love. Hearts are just butts upside down. I
Speaker 1: don't need it. Yeah, that's one minute. Your door is bullshit.
Speaker 1: I hate door is bullshit door. But I know I
Speaker 1: know a couple of people who use your door. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't like that. All right, okay, guys, Next up
Speaker 1: is elinor Hey, bitch, Yes, make your way? Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: what's the t Are we gonna do the bull? Are
Speaker 1: we gonna do it? We're going to do ellenor Pianta here?
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Art school, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're
Speaker 1: telling me if I haven't taken a ceramics class that
Speaker 1: I can't make a ceramic. No, I don't think so, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: I've got my brain. I got a hunk of clay.
Speaker 1: Bitch is gonna make a ceramic? I got my head.
Speaker 1: So I got my test. That's all I need. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think so that reminds me of my death. Daddy
Speaker 1: whoa When everybody was telling him you can't hear the
Speaker 1: ocean in the seashell. He lifts it up to his
Speaker 1: ear and he says, I can hear the ocean. He
Speaker 1: hands it to me. He says, do you hear the ocean?
Speaker 1: And I said, yes, Dadda, I hear the ocean. But dadda,
Speaker 1: I am your daughter, and he said, hunt it. I
Speaker 1: don't think so. And I said, daddy, Daddy, but I
Speaker 1: don't think so, hunt it. And then he's like, hunt it. No,
Speaker 1: I don't think so. And I'm like, no, Daddy, I'm
Speaker 1: your daughter. I don't think so is and that and
Speaker 1: that's it. Tears. I don't think so. I need to
Speaker 1: end in tears. Something is unres oh, no, eleanor there's
Speaker 1: something unresolved here, daddy. Issues live on staying. I'm sorry, unfolding.
Speaker 1: We're gonna put a pin in that guy's give it
Speaker 1: up for Beth new Bath the bull or do you
Speaker 1: have a topic in mind? I have a topic. Okay,
Speaker 1: come mind, here we go now, alright, I don't think so, honey. Murderers, okay, listen,
Speaker 1: alright now, listen. Okay, not only is murdering illegal, but
Speaker 1: it's also really fucking inconsiderate. Alright, Okay, hear me out,
Speaker 1: hear me out. Okay. I think that murdering people is selfish. Okay,
Speaker 1: I mean you are going to delete a woman's entire future,
Speaker 1: future sexual life just so you can jerk off to
Speaker 1: onto a corpse for five minutes I mean, was that
Speaker 1: worth it? I don't think so, honey. All right, I
Speaker 1: don't think so honey. Even these like crime of passion,
Speaker 1: rage murders. Okay, you don't get off the hook just
Speaker 1: because you had a bad day. Okay, just call out
Speaker 1: sick from work like the rest of us and watch
Speaker 1: the movie about a boy. I don't think so, honny. Alright, alright,
Speaker 1: you know we've all got a chip on our shoulder.
Speaker 1: Just write a medium post. I don't think so honey.
Speaker 1: You do not have to kill someone. That's all I
Speaker 1: have to say. I don't think that one murderers. She
Speaker 1: drap on a woman's course like a five second thing.
Speaker 1: It's a five second Afterwards you feel ashamed. It's too short. Okay, guys,
Speaker 1: give it up for money less. I don't think so,
Speaker 1: honey's raffle winner. Yes, some bit just bring their own.
Speaker 1: This is some bring their own. Count them four on
Speaker 1: stage at the same Time's unbelievable, okay, son, It's like
Speaker 1: the spirit sick. It's like the spirit stick. You can't
Speaker 1: do that. It's like the spirit stick. Now we're all cursed, unconscionable, unconscionable.
Speaker 1: What's gonna now? I am so terrified to pick from
Speaker 1: the bowl. But I'm going to pick the ball. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go, and you're ready. Okay, this is good.
Speaker 1: You're I don't think so, honey. Is Chelsea Clinton and
Speaker 1: that that monster time starts now? I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Chelsea Clinton. I was watching the CNN like nineties documentary
Speaker 1: when your papa got to be president. You were just
Speaker 1: staring at him in the face and clapping and he
Speaker 1: was not making eye contact with you, and you were like, Chelsea,
Speaker 1: get over it. Some people need to carve out their
Speaker 1: own space away from the family business. Chelsea. I mean,
Speaker 1: I start at seat. It's working for people, Honey, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that I'm watching you
Speaker 1: and I will be the friend who tells you tough love.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, Honey. Today to body her own hat,
Speaker 1: give it up for this girl dancers. We got Tally
Speaker 1: metto Jasmine, Pierre Pienza, Bath Newel and of course we
Speaker 1: have Sunita Money. Okaya. Oh my goodness, guys, they're ready
Speaker 1: for the last group of this first half. This first half.
Speaker 1: Here we go, classic fools, all right, the classic fools.
Speaker 1: Give it up. Anderson Drew Anderson, giving up for Greta titleman,
Speaker 1: give it up for Amanda Dwarte and giving up from
Speaker 1: Michelle butau, Hello, where's my boy? Drew the True? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, there we go, Here we go, this time,
Speaker 1: We're doing it for this time. It's okay four this time.
Speaker 1: Now listen. The first to the mic is Drew Anderson.
Speaker 1: Here we go, baby, here we go baby. All right,
Speaker 1: so true, I've had a lot of troubles, We've had
Speaker 1: a lot of pre selective. But what about you, sirs,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be doing pre selective, Okay, sir, Okay, sir.
Speaker 1: This is j Anderson's Here we go, j Anderson's I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, time starts now. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Lynn Manuel Miran, Honey, I don't think so, honey. Listen
Speaker 1: to me right now. Okay. I love your musicals. They're exquisite. Okay,
Speaker 1: but honey, you don't need to star in everything you right, Okay,
Speaker 1: listen to me, honey. You are literally that high school
Speaker 1: girl in drama club, okay, who is nice to everyone
Speaker 1: but ultimately does all the work because they don't trust
Speaker 1: anyone else. Thirty seconds and then makes the speech at
Speaker 1: the end, thanking everyone and saying love is Love is
Speaker 1: love me. Okay, I know you wrote Mohanna, but honey,
Speaker 1: we all know you wanted to be Mohanna. Oka. Listen.
Speaker 1: I wrote a musical once in college. It was a
Speaker 1: children's musical. Okay. I wanted to be the star the giraffe,
Speaker 1: but last minute I gave the role to a child
Speaker 1: for the betterment of the musical and it was a triumph. Honey,
Speaker 1: I don't think it. Beef generous with your art. Be
Speaker 1: generous with your art. Unbelievable. Thank you, Drew. We needed
Speaker 1: to hear that, we didn't want to hear that. We
Speaker 1: all need the reminder and now remind us of something.
Speaker 1: It's Greta title, man, Come on, grat, come on, grat.
Speaker 1: Greta's gonna be pre selected or from the trouball I love.
Speaker 1: I love a trouble but I have to just speak
Speaker 1: my piece selected. Here we go starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. French manicures as pedicure. Okay, bitch, I
Speaker 1: do not need to see a white tip on your toe. Bitch.
Speaker 1: If your nails are that long that you can get
Speaker 1: a fucking French manicure. On them. Cut that ship. Also, bitch,
Speaker 1: your foot is not handing me my menu at nobue, Okay,
Speaker 1: so it does not need to be painted like that. Also,
Speaker 1: you know who has a fucking French pedicure, my step mom.
Speaker 1: And I don't think so, honey, with that bitch, she's
Speaker 1: fucking my dad. That bitch is fucking my dad. Okay,
Speaker 1: So you know what, I don't need the rest of
Speaker 1: the fucking time, bitch, because that's what I think. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, right a title man, decorum, decorum, decor
Speaker 1: him pore Um. She has spit in the face of
Speaker 1: the rules. But we gag gags gagged. Okay, it's time
Speaker 1: for Amanda, Amanda. Let's go, Yes, Amanda, thank you Amanda.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, now Amanda. There are two options and one
Speaker 1: of them is the trouble. One of them is to
Speaker 1: go pre selected. But what do you think, um? I
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna bull for Columbine. Why here we go
Speaker 1: because I saw Michael Morris show on Broadway last night
Speaker 1: and it's garb. So let's bull for Columbine and remember
Speaker 1: the good times. I love that. I love that And
Speaker 1: that's a little I don't think so, honey, In and
Speaker 1: of itself. Okay, that's not it. No, no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: that was a teaser. Here we go your I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, is the movie Blackfish and your time
Speaker 1: starts now. I can't get any black fish because, first
Speaker 1: of all, don't try to get me to fucking feel
Speaker 1: sorry for a killer. Why you look at where killer
Speaker 1: is in your title? Fuck you, you eat otters. Second
Speaker 1: of all, like fucking okay, don't make me hungry for
Speaker 1: sushi and then makes me feel shitty about it because
Speaker 1: you're all like endangered or whatever. And then don't make
Speaker 1: me hungry for, like to actually eat whale, because I've
Speaker 1: heard that whale taste like fish, steak pussy. My husband
Speaker 1: ate it, and I think, like fucking Sweden or something.
Speaker 1: He ate whale, and he was like, every once in
Speaker 1: a while, if I go ride my bike and I
Speaker 1: come home and don't shower, he makes a reference to
Speaker 1: it that I don't appreciate. I think about that. Ultimately, animals,
Speaker 1: we control you. You are our domain, top of the
Speaker 1: food chain for now. Fuck you, I don't think so,
Speaker 1: Blessed Amanda towards Day. Ultimately we control you, animals, all
Speaker 1: you animals out there now you know, now you know,
Speaker 1: and now you know. Yes, welcome Michelle Boto, Yes, yes, yes, Michelle,
Speaker 1: Yes honey, what's up girl? You know I pick something? Okay,
Speaker 1: I mean thank you for writing stuff though no, we prepare,
Speaker 1: but we don't. We never doubted you. She's got a
Speaker 1: topic it in mind here. I don't think so many
Speaker 1: time starts now, I don't think so, honey. If you
Speaker 1: don't funk with the song Desposit. This is one of
Speaker 1: the best songs ever fucking made. It is one of
Speaker 1: the most downloaded songs in the fucking world. And if
Speaker 1: you don't funk with Desposito, bitch, I don't fuck with you.
Speaker 1: You probably don't like Deathposito because you don't understand the language,
Speaker 1: and if you don't understand Spanish, you probably want to
Speaker 1: build a wall and make America rain again. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, if you don't funk with Desposito, because
Speaker 1: I love any song that makes him Rickie Lastis want
Speaker 1: to fucking kill himself for not I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: If you don't funk with death by Sto, because I
Speaker 1: didn't even know it was justin Bieber and now I
Speaker 1: like him. Five seconds, five five. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: if you don't funk with Desposito, because any song that
Speaker 1: makes you want to clap your ass like Cardi b
Speaker 1: Is a song for fucking me. H, God, come get it.
Speaker 1: The funk up for this group. Michelle boot Grat a
Speaker 1: title man. Yes, Yo, the room is getting very hot.
Speaker 1: It is now time for us to take a little
Speaker 1: bit of an intermission. We want to remind about the raffle.
Speaker 1: Do the raffle, put some buy some raffle tickets, win
Speaker 1: some stuff. We want to runch about the T shirts.
Speaker 1: Buy a T shirt and wear it, come back wearing it.
Speaker 1: That would be cute. And we'll see you in about
Speaker 1: ten minutes. Ten by returns. This has been a Forever
Speaker 1: Dog production executive produced by Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsay, and
Speaker 1: Brett Bom. For more podcasts, please visit Trevor Dog Productions
Speaker 1: dot com