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Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and

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Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. The thirtieth of May, I will be in

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Speaker 1: Vegas at my residency. In June, i will be in

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Speaker 1: Saratoga Springs, New York, port Chester, New York. I'm coming

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Speaker 1: to Boston at the Wang Theater. I'll be in Portland, Oregon, Seattle,

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Speaker 1: and then Hyannas, Massachusetts, and then two shows in Nantucket.

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Speaker 1: In August you can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair,

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Speaker 1: New Jersey.

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Speaker 2: And Calgary. That's Canada.

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Speaker 1: And September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego,

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Speaker 1: New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho,

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Speaker 1: and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in San Francisco.

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Speaker 1: I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, Babies,

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Speaker 1: I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing

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Speaker 1: out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your

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Speaker 1: tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High and Mighty Tour.

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Speaker 2: Hi Catherine, Chelsea Yai.

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Speaker 3: Do you have a new white man in your life.

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Speaker 2: He's not white.

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Speaker 1: Oh, he's not a se later, well, he's lights okay,

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Speaker 1: But we rescued another dog.

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Speaker 2: His name is ray J, and.

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Speaker 3: You come with that.

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Speaker 1: No, No, I named him ray J. I am. We're

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Speaker 1: sitting here waiting for him to arrive. We have adopted him.

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Speaker 1: So he's a and Doug needs a sibling. So I've

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Speaker 1: been looking for a couple of months for a sibling

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Speaker 1: for Doug. And then we were going to get this

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Speaker 1: other dog, but he wasn't a full chow and I

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Speaker 1: really like chows, but they're hard to find and rescues. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then ray J just popped up and so they

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Speaker 1: got him. This weekend, I was away. I went to

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Speaker 1: Bottle Rock and then I went to my friend's wedding.

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Speaker 1: So I was in Santa Barbara with Cowboy all weekend

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Speaker 1: and we had a fun REYU narse great.

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Speaker 2: And so now I'm just waiting for him to arrive.

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Speaker 4: Oh.

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Speaker 3: I love that. I'm so happy for you know.

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Speaker 1: So hopefully Doug will be able to handle himself because

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Speaker 1: Doug is dominant.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Have they have?

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Speaker 3: They like played together already like you did.

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Speaker 2: No, no, No.

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Speaker 1: Their meeting for the first time today outside, so It

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Speaker 1: could go horribly wrong and then next week I could

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Speaker 1: say there is no more Rag. You know, we had

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Speaker 1: to give him to another family.

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Speaker 2: I mean, but hopefully not.

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Speaker 1: I think Doug will be so excited to have a friend,

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Speaker 1: and it's just that ray J. We'll have to see

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Speaker 1: what Rayj's reaction to being personally invaded by Doug is.

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Speaker 1: Because we had Cowboys dog with us all weekend. Cowboy

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Speaker 1: has a dog named Benny, and Doug is an assaulter.

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Speaker 2: Doug wants to assault, like.

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Speaker 1: Humping every sexual, everything sexual and everything else and then

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Speaker 1: eventually that all shakes out and they love to have

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Speaker 1: fun together. Yeah, so hopefully, but Doug is definitely dominant

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Speaker 1: and this is his house.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Well, he's got all his like dog friends up in Whistler,

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Speaker 3: so hopefully this will just be.

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Speaker 2: More ye more.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he really wants a lot of action and

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Speaker 1: I just cannot provide that up.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: See, we tried to buy extra dogs to like play

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Speaker 3: with Mimsey and like keep her. Now they all just

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Speaker 3: stare at us and want us to play with them individually.

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Speaker 3: They do play together, but it's like we have to

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Speaker 3: be involved. They're very people oriented, So hopefully hopefully they

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Speaker 3: can play together.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: So your weekend was good. It was three day weekend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Bottle Rock Festival. I've never been up to that

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Speaker 2: music festival.

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Speaker 1: That was amazing. I saw Lord perform, She was out

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Speaker 1: of this world. I saw Teddy Swims perform. LCD South

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Speaker 1: System Swim yeah, and they were all great. Well, we

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Speaker 1: just had a blast. It was so much fun. And

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Speaker 1: then we went to Stanta Barbara on Saturday and we

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Speaker 1: went to a wedding that was really fun. I handed

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Speaker 1: out treats to a lot of different people. Everyone came

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Speaker 1: over to me and they were like, I hear you

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Speaker 1: have the stuff. And I was like, okay, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: who told you. They're like, we just heard in general

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Speaker 1: that you have the stuff. So the message is spreading.

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Speaker 3: I love it. It's not like not even like a

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Speaker 3: dry wedding versus like a wedding with alcohol. It's like

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Speaker 3: a wedding with alcohol plus party.

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Speaker 2: Favorite.

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Speaker 1: Well, now everyone's doing shrooms and I'm like, I'm already

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Speaker 1: over shrooms, Like I already have that.

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Speaker 3: That's like the.

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Speaker 2: Passe to me. Now, yeah, I'm onto the new stuff.

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Speaker 3: What do you think about? Like Michael Pollan talks in

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Speaker 3: that book about like doing a brain reset with hallucinogens

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Speaker 3: and that sort of thing. What do you think about that.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm forty one. I kind of feel

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Speaker 3: like it's time for a brain reset.

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Speaker 1: You mean to do the drugs and to have a journey. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure, I think that's good. I've never done that

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Speaker 1: like guided kind of well. I did with ayahuasca, but

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Speaker 1: I've never done like a guided you know, mushroom sit

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Speaker 1: or guided MDM Mason.

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Speaker 2: You can do it with anything.

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Speaker 1: Ketamine it's pretty popular now, but that's not really my drug.

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Speaker 1: I'm not disassociative. Yeah, I don't like that feeling. I

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Speaker 1: like to be I like to be in my body

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Speaker 1: when I'm high.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I need something to help me deal

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Speaker 3: with anxiety, but also I have anxiety about about again, there's.

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Speaker 2: A lot of anxiety going around these days. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, And yes, we need you to write in your

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Speaker 1: questions people, if you've any questions about relationships, about job dynamics,

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Speaker 1: about interpersonal affairs, any sort of family drama that you're

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Speaker 1: going through, if you want to call in with a

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Speaker 1: family member, or are somebody that you're dating, or you're

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Speaker 1: in a relationship with or a friend or a coworker

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Speaker 1: or anything like that. We welcome couples.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: What we also like is sort of like, am I

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Speaker 3: the asshole type?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Are you the problem? Yes?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like if you've had a confrontation with somebody and

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Speaker 3: you need, like Chelsea to rule in favor or you know,

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Speaker 3: not in your favor, then right in.

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Speaker 1: Yes, We're ready for you. We're ready, willing and able.

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Speaker 3: And right into der Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Oh, and I have to promote my show on Sarahtoga Springs,

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Speaker 1: New York. I'm going into Sarahtoga Springs, New York next weekend.

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Speaker 2: Everybody, June third, Sarahtoga Springs. Just at it.

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Speaker 3: Excellent.

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Speaker 2: Get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com.

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Speaker 3: Well, let's get into our exciting guests today.

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Speaker 1: So you know, our guest today from Reno nine to

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Speaker 1: one one and she is returning in the second season

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Speaker 1: of Netflix the fourth seasons. Please welcome carry Kenny Silver.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Kerry Kenny Silver is here today. I

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Speaker 1: mean we are read you, Narsey. We're trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out how long it's been since we saw each other.

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Speaker 2: I don't like it.

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Speaker 1: But it's been probably I don't think it's been ten years.

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Speaker 2: It can't it can't have been.

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Speaker 1: No, but we did me twenty three years ago when

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Speaker 1: I did a guest episode of Reno nine one one.

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Speaker 2: The very first episodisode of Reno nine one. Oh, you

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Speaker 2: were on the first episode of Reno nine one one.

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Speaker 2: There was a pilot, but then the first official episode

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Speaker 2: you were on? Oh yeah, sure, well two thousand and three.

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Speaker 2: So two thousand and three was the first year, right

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Speaker 2: the show? I think I let's just say first season,

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Speaker 2: their season.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I knew of the show before I was

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Speaker 1: on it, so okay, so it had to have been

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Speaker 1: after okay, first season, even though I like that on

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Speaker 1: or an accolade, that was the first Was it the

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Speaker 1: first time I urinated on a set? But from laughing

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Speaker 1: no girls behaving badly? I was liked, No, urinated, like

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Speaker 1: from laughing too hard while we're a filming, because I was.

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Speaker 2: Gonna say, we could check Wikipedia because it was just

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Speaker 2: so ridiculus.

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Speaker 1: That show was so ridiculous, And I know people probably

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Speaker 1: bother you all the time about redoing it, and didn't

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Speaker 1: you guys REDI did.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a show that never ends because Nissi Nash

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Speaker 2: keeps bringing it back and I love it. And we

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Speaker 2: actually just did an interview together the other day and

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Speaker 2: she said, never say never. She's the one who instigates

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Speaker 2: every time we come back. But we just had We

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Speaker 2: just did a movie two years ago. We did two

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Speaker 2: more seasons the year before that. So yeah, it just keeps,

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Speaker 2: you know, at a certain point, Oh, I disagree.

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Speaker 1: It's talking about reruns or like recreating shows. There's a

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Speaker 1: couple of people that are there are a couple of

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Speaker 1: shows that are being redone that you're like that this

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Speaker 1: is not necessary. But I mean a lot of them,

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Speaker 1: you know, let's be honest, a lot of them, you're like,

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Speaker 1: this is nobody has another idea, like you're going to

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Speaker 1: resurrect a show from however many years ago, and some

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Speaker 1: of them are worthwhile. But that show doesn't matter who,

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Speaker 1: how old anybody is. It's so ridiculous where I was

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Speaker 1: going to go with it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 2: You're right, actually, because we were never qualified to be

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Speaker 2: cops in the first place. Age shouldn't matter. I remember

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Speaker 2: we shot somewhere maybe it was was it reno? No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: Because we have only been there one time. The whole group,

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Speaker 2: we've only been there one time. We would send a

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Speaker 2: b camera there to do, you know, shots of the

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Speaker 2: city and stuff to add to the show, but as

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Speaker 2: a group, we hadn't been there since we were promoting

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Speaker 2: the movie Reno nine one one, which was years into

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Speaker 2: the show itself. I love Reno nine one one. Miami.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, yes, I whistler Miami, San Diego.

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Speaker 2: So ridiculous. And so that's how we first met.

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Speaker 1: And then you you would come on Chelsea Lately all

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Speaker 1: the time on the panel, which was such a nice

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Speaker 1: delight because we were friends and we saw each other

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Speaker 1: a lot more frequently in those days, and you were

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Speaker 1: able to like and it was fun to always have

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Speaker 1: my friends on Chelsea Lately because you know, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: even though you're not a traditional stand up comic, you're

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Speaker 1: a comic.

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Speaker 5: No.

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Speaker 2: But I missed that show because that was the first

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Speaker 2: time I was ever on a show where I was myself.

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Speaker 2: I was terrified, but you were so supportive and and

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Speaker 2: you're so fast that I always felt like if that

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Speaker 2: if that glazed look came in my eye, like I

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Speaker 2: don't know, you would just jump in. You'd reach down

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Speaker 2: and grabbed that toddler out of the pool, and you

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Speaker 2: would save that joke. So I always felt so supportive.

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Speaker 2: But also you were just you. You are such a laugher,

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Speaker 2: and you are such a fan of other people, and

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Speaker 2: you you love showcasing other people. So it's such a

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Speaker 2: great place to sort of try things. And then if

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Speaker 2: you felt like you were flailing, you would you would

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Speaker 2: pull us out. Oh well, that's very nice doing that shit.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Carrie. That's so sweet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was nice when you have four people on

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Speaker 1: a panel because you can kind of bounce off the walls.

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Speaker 1: And it doesn't behoove anybody for anybody to not do well.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean exactly.

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Speaker 1: Everyone is trying to make everybody. It's kind of like

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Speaker 1: keeping the plates up. You're like, okay, if that if

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Speaker 1: if if we have a bad panel, if one person

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Speaker 1: doesn't look good, we all don't look good.

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Speaker 2: So you want to help and support each other.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And Carrie has a wonderful husband and a wonderful son.

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Speaker 2: A husband.

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Speaker 1: I just have to say one thing about your husband,

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Speaker 1: especially now that we know that most men are garbage.

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Speaker 1: I you are so blessed, I know, And he is

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Speaker 1: blessed of course to be with you because you're a blessing.

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Speaker 2: But and I don't throw up the word blease.

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Speaker 3: Okay, maybe a honest show.

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Speaker 2: Hashtag blessing is on every one of your igs. But

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Speaker 2: Steve is one.

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Speaker 1: He's a cinematographer DP cinematographer, and he is one of

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Speaker 1: the most gentle men I've ever met, Like just gentle,

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Speaker 1: like sees everybody, sits down with everybody, listens to everybody

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Speaker 1: because he's very perspicacious because that's what he does for

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Speaker 1: a living is watching people. So he but he takes

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Speaker 1: you in and he's one of those guys that is

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Speaker 1: not disgusting, has no gross ulterior motive. And I know

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Speaker 1: all men are not bad. I you know, I know that.

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Speaker 1: I know there are good men around.

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Speaker 2: I get it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's lots of them, and my most of my

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Speaker 1: friends are married to good men. But when you hear

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Speaker 1: all this news, and you constantly hear these stories, you're

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Speaker 1: just like, oh my god, who is it? Like it

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Speaker 1: would be quicker to name all the people who weren't

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Speaker 1: on Epstein Islands, I know, then to try and figure

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Speaker 1: out how many people were.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't think I didn't look everybody up. By the way,

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Speaker 2: Reno nine one one is in there. Tom Lennon and

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Speaker 2: I were laughing our ass. I was on a FaceTime

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Speaker 2: with him and I said, oh my god, we're in

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Speaker 2: the Epstein files. He's like, please don't. It's like a

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Speaker 2: perfect reason to bring this bad. It's an email that

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Speaker 2: was going from somebody to somebody about Universal and what

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Speaker 2: was coming out that week, and it was Reno nine

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Speaker 2: one one Miami, and I was like, okay, but anyway,

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Speaker 2: I know, and thank you for saying that about my husband, Steve.

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Speaker 2: I love celebrating him because he is like in the

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Speaker 2: you know, he's a DP, so he's he's he's the

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Speaker 2: kind of the watcher, he's the quiet, he's the and

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Speaker 2: he's the grounder to me and my you know, Tasmanian

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Speaker 2: devil friends. But he shot Big Bang Theory two and

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Speaker 2: a half. Men, Mom, he's now shooting Lianne and she's

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Speaker 2: an angel and I'm so glad he's working. She's a

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Speaker 2: sweetheart and just a genuine talent and so happy to

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Speaker 2: be there, which is like such a great thing at

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Speaker 2: this moment. Is in his career too, to be with

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Speaker 2: someone like that. Yeah, but I'm just so, and we

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Speaker 2: have such an amazing kid. And I can't believe how

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Speaker 2: much of my life has has lined up. I can't

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Speaker 2: believe it because it shouldn't have. I mean I look

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Speaker 2: at like, you know, just the scattered ideas and things

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Speaker 2: I was reaching for when I was younger, just anything,

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Speaker 2: and then the fact that it's lined up in this

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Speaker 2: beautiful way. I sometimes can't believe it's my life. And

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Speaker 2: I love that you see that He's always adored you,

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Speaker 2: always adored you. That is beautiful.

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Speaker 1: What did you think was like where, like, tell me

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Speaker 1: about that, talk about that when you're thinking about having

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Speaker 1: scattered because I felt like that, Like I felt like

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Speaker 1: a pinball when I was like you know, my early twenties.

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Speaker 1: I was out here, but I didn't know where I

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Speaker 1: was going, and I just was kind of like, you know,

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Speaker 1: like frenetic.

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Speaker 2: Yeah it's funny though you say that, but it doesn't

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Speaker 2: come across like that. We're talking about you, Carrie, even

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Speaker 2: from the outside. For example, your career looks very I

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Speaker 2: don't want to say planned, but it looks like it

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Speaker 2: made strategize. No, like everything made the next logical sense,

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Speaker 2: and there was a progression. Is a progression and it

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Speaker 2: doesn't look chaotic in the same way that probably mine

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Speaker 2: doesn't look chaotic, although on the inside, you know, because

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Speaker 2: I graduated college and had my own television show at

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Speaker 2: graduation with the state. I mean, who who has that?

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Speaker 2: There's nothing chaotic about that?

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Speaker 1: And you also in your band and my band which

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Speaker 1: online is are.

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Speaker 2: We getting that? Not only are we here, but the

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Speaker 2: head is leaning. It looks like a cat from this angle.

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Speaker 1: But anybody who watches this podcast or listens to this

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Speaker 1: podcast knows that I would never have a cat in

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Speaker 1: my house. I mean, if somebody came with a cat,

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Speaker 1: obviously I wouldn't kick them out, but I don't have cats.

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Speaker 3: For those listening at home, my dog Mamsie is snuggling

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Speaker 3: carry's foot.

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Speaker 2: He's resting his head on my phone.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, he is trying to take Yeah, that's okay.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's okay. Her vagina is so Carrie couldn't

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Speaker 2: see it. Not at the moment, I'm miss gendered her

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Speaker 2: And now she's mad, you're a beautiful girl your band. Yes,

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Speaker 2: So that like there's an example of something I did

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Speaker 2: what I think you probably did, and I continue to do,

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Speaker 2: which is the next indicated step right. So somebody says, hey,

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Speaker 2: here's this thing or this idea, and I go yeah,

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Speaker 2: and they go don't you want to read it verse?

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Speaker 2: And I go no, I'll do it, and then it

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Speaker 2: either produces something which the state has obviously and continues

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Speaker 2: to thirty eight thirty seven years later. The band was

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Speaker 2: literally our boyfriends were in bands, and they were all

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Speaker 2: on tour and had extra instruments laying around the cake.

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Speaker 2: It's an impossible name to remember, and then everyone says, oh,

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Speaker 2: it's oh, it's like the band cake. We were No,

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Speaker 2: it was cake like your pike. A couple of us

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Speaker 2: worked at a bakery and there were on the box

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Speaker 2: of brownies it says for moist or cake like brownies,

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Speaker 2: so we picked cake, like why everyone loves that word? Well,

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Speaker 2: now today, maybe that's that's the reboot, I think. Like,

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Speaker 2: for example, with the band, it was just like, oh,

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Speaker 2: there's instruments saying around here, let's play them. And some

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Speaker 2: guy poked his head into our the practice space and said, hey,

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Speaker 2: we've got to show this weekend in Brooklyn. Do you

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Speaker 2: guys want to play it? And we're like, oh no, no,

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Speaker 2: we're not a band, and he's like, well, you sound

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Speaker 2: like a band and we were like, oh, well, I

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Speaker 2: mean we have three songs. We don't really and he's like, well,

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Speaker 2: come play your three songs. And we came and played

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Speaker 2: our three songs. And John Zorn was at that show

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Speaker 2: and said I want to make a record with you,

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Speaker 2: and we were like, well, we don't. We only have

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Speaker 2: three songs. He's like, well, you better quickly write some more.

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Speaker 2: So we did and put it out with a vaunt.

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Speaker 2: This Japanese label got three and a half stars in

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Speaker 2: Rolling Stone our first album, and then ric Ocassick found us,

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Speaker 2: said I want to make a single with you. He said,

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Speaker 2: can I bring some friends to your show? And his

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Speaker 2: friends were Neil Young and a bunch of other people,

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Speaker 2: and Neil said, I want to sign you as my

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Speaker 2: second band to this new Warner Brothers label I'm doing.

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Speaker 2: So we yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes and

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Speaker 2: yes and yes and yes, and we just kept going

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Speaker 2: that's amazing. Same with you Know the State ends, and

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Speaker 2: Tom and Michael Black and Ben were like, we want

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Speaker 2: to do you know, the Viva Variety. We want to

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Speaker 2: do Viva Variety, which was a sketch we had done

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Speaker 2: on the State as a show yes, okay, yes, And

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Speaker 2: we did that for years and then you know, like

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Speaker 2: that led into reno, which leads into and so I

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Speaker 2: think the differences this is the longest winded answer of all.

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Speaker 2: I love it, but I think are the differences between

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Speaker 2: now and then? Is that back then I felt like

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Speaker 2: these things were swirling around me and I was just

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Speaker 2: grabbing at them. Someone would reach in and say do

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Speaker 2: you want to do this, and I'd go yes, yes, yes, yes,

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Speaker 2: Now because I have to be a more grounded person

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Speaker 2: just by nature of age and health and the world,

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Speaker 2: I still see those opportunities. They're still happening, thank god,

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Speaker 2: But I feel like I am able to more clearly

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Speaker 2: and confidently say yes and then walk into those spaces

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Speaker 2: with more peace. I felt like I was tumbling into

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Speaker 2: those other spaces, going what are we gonna do? What

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Speaker 2: do you need for me?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 2: Right? And now I feel like I can own them

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Speaker 2: more in a sense.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's very interesting, all while having the same exact

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Speaker 1: haircut for all this time.

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Speaker 2: She's not the same as.

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Speaker 1: True and you're going to put a flash of all

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Speaker 1: their When did you have a different haircut?

390
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,520
Speaker 2: When sugar beans? Have you not seen? I posted one

391
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,440
Speaker 2: of those look at my what was mom like in

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Speaker 2: the nineties thing? All it is is a parade haircuts

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00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:05,000
Speaker 2: and color, like short layers, oh honey, like yeah, big

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00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,399
Speaker 2: of color, short layers on short hair. No, no, no,

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Speaker 2: let's see what's goy.

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Speaker 1: But I like one of the things I admire about

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Speaker 1: you is that you've had the same haircut since I've

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Speaker 1: known you, and and I find that to be pretty inspiring,

399
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 1: Like you found something you liked. Cause I just cut

400
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Speaker 1: my hair like a couple of days ago. I was like,

401
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,119
Speaker 1: I can't do this anymore. And they're like what, And

402
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,680
Speaker 1: they're like, this's nothing that's going to be that big

403
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,959
Speaker 1: of a change. I'm like, I know, I just have

404
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,160
Speaker 1: to either change the part or cut it. I need

405
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,959
Speaker 1: an update, like I need to know what you mean.

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00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:37,399
Speaker 2: I feel this is a this is a first this

407
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 2: first time I'm ever saying this out loud in the world.

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00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 2: This is an exclusive, So everybody lean in. I've decided

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00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 2: I don't love jewelry or accessories of any kind. I'm

410
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 2: with you on that, So a blunt haircut is my accessory.

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00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 2: Yeah that's yeah, okay.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a lot of different hairstyle.

413
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,880
Speaker 2: It's it's it's not even all of them. Wait, oh,

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00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 2: what were you like in the nineties? I see, I'm

415
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,400
Speaker 2: loving those, I am, but they're nostalgic, making me kind

416
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,439
Speaker 2: of sad. God, do you look a lot like this

417
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:17,359
Speaker 2: friend of mine? Wow? Is it Dame Judy Dench Wow? Yes,

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00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 2: she and I have forgot just gotten very tight. She's

419
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,080
Speaker 2: actually upstairs. Oh I thought I heard her. Oh.

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Speaker 3: Hey, have you been thinking about writing into Dear Chelsea. Well,

421
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 3: now is the moment. We're taking advice questions on anything

422
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 3: that pops up. It's wedding season. Are you having wedding drama?

423
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 3: Write in about that thing that you can't seem to

424
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,560
Speaker 3: agree with your spouse about but you absolutely know you're right.

425
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,800
Speaker 3: Chelsea can tell you who's right and who's wrong. You

426
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 3: can write in about a big life decision or just

427
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:48,480
Speaker 3: something small dating drama right into Dear Chelsea podcast at

428
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 3: gmail dot com.

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Speaker 1: I love all that you're saying because I think when

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Speaker 1: you're younger, yeah, you're right like you're described. I think

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00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 1: what you're describing is like this sense of frenetic where

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Speaker 1: you're kind of just almost.

433
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 2: Like a balloon, you know, like you're bouncing around.

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Speaker 1: And you're just kind of catching to see what catches

435
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:11,399
Speaker 1: and what doesn't. And the good thing about that youthfulness

436
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 1: that I think you're able to take into your adult

437
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 1: life is that when things don't work, it doesn't matter

438
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 1: because there's so much static and energy that you're like, Okay,

439
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 1: what's the next?

440
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 2: What's next?

441
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,679
Speaker 1: And I kind of feel that way today in a

442
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 1: much more grounded sense, like what you're describing. When things

443
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 1: don't work out, there's no big reaction, Like like with

444
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:36,639
Speaker 1: professional stuff, you're like, oh, okay, well that happens all

445
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 1: the time. I know that now, so it's nothing to

446
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,159
Speaker 1: get so upset about, Whereas when I was younger, it

447
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 1: would be a huge reaction and then a week later

448
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 1: you would forgot that that even happened.

449
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,720
Speaker 2: And then also a week later you would go, thank

450
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 2: God that didn't happen, because then this wouldn't be able

451
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 2: to happen. So learning that lesson over time. The you

452
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 2: know my favorite Nisi Nash. You know, she didn't invent it,

453
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 2: but I heard it from her rejection and is God's

454
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 2: protection that thing of Like, but I wanted that thing,

455
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 2: and that was going to be the thing, and I

456
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,159
Speaker 2: thought this was the thing and then when it's not

457
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 2: the thing, you're like, thank god that wasn't the thing,

458
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 2: because this is the thing, and if I was over

459
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 2: there doing this thing, I couldn't have done this thing. Right.

460
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,640
Speaker 2: So I think, like you say, over time, the more

461
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,920
Speaker 2: times that happens to you, which is in this business,

462
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 2: all that happens over and over and over and over again,

463
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,719
Speaker 2: then you start to learn, oh, there's a rhythm to this.

464
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,679
Speaker 2: There is enough work for everybody. Everything happens when it's

465
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 2: supposed to.

466
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 1: It just is do you Are you one of those

467
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: people who thinks everything that happens happens for a reason.

468
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know about that. I just am in

469
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 2: this new like I'm starting to sort of I'll say this.

470
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 2: I listened to the Telepathy tapes, Okay, Steve and I

471
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 2: listen to them, and they've really kind of changed a

472
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 2: lot of stuff for us, you know. Just now there's

473
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,360
Speaker 2: a lot of new question stints for me, and it's

474
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 2: all positive, and it's it's starting to make me. I'm

475
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 2: getting kisses full kisses nose, all right, are you kidding me?

476
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 2: You're getting sexually? I love that.

477
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 3: I just hope this doesn't wind up on wiki feet.

478
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:23,120
Speaker 2: Does pretty well on has a foot account. You can

479
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,399
Speaker 2: just go download it or upload it, so they'll just

480
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 2: have a going goes straight to it. Anytime someone takes

481
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,879
Speaker 2: a shot on my foot, I thought you meant Catherine

482
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 2: was blowing kisses at you. I was like, that's very unusual.

483
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,879
Speaker 2: Never heard you do that that I would not have acknowledged.

484
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 2: I just allowed it to quietly.

485
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 5: No.

486
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,199
Speaker 2: I just I don't know if everything happens for a reason,

487
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 2: but I am all of a sudden, and it's kind

488
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 2: of gross to me because I think of myself as

489
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 2: this like New York City girl who you know, smokes

490
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,959
Speaker 2: cartons of cigarettes, doesn't give a ship about anything. You know,

491
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 2: I show up, I do ship. You don't like it

492
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 2: too bad? I trip into something else. I eat Snickers

493
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 2: bars for breakfast. That's that's the meat that I still think.

494
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,679
Speaker 2: I am at my core. When you're looking at right now,

495
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 2: in real time, at this fifty six year old woman

496
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 2: with a bob haircut, you know, who drove here in

497
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 2: a nice car. I don't feel like this lady. I

498
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,879
Speaker 2: feel like that lady. So when things come out of

499
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:26,439
Speaker 2: my mouth, like I've been listening to the telepathy tapes

500
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 2: and now I'm questioning things like quantum physics, and you know, I'm.

501
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 3: Like a universal intelligence. Universal intelligence, which to me that

502
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 3: sounds so much like what you're talking about, like it

503
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 3: all was existing and you're like, yes, I'm going to

504
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,120
Speaker 3: grab this opportunity and that opportunity and it goes right

505
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 3: along with what you know, what they talk about in

506
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 3: the telepathy tapes about like all of that intelligence exists

507
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 3: and it's just do you have access to it? Can

508
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,360
Speaker 3: you tap into it? That sort of thing.

509
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,360
Speaker 2: But my my reason, I think for arriving at this

510
00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 2: new excited time about learning about this stuff, whether it's

511
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 2: real or true or not, just wanting to know more

512
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 2: about it, meditation, journaling, These words are coming out of

513
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 2: my mouth, which is like what yeah. But the reason

514
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 2: is because there was an emergency, and the emergency was

515
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 2: the world started to like really affect me physically and

516
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:30,440
Speaker 2: it felt like, oh, if I want to keep momming

517
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 2: and wifing and friending and working and living, I'd better

518
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 2: like find some tools right now. And all of a sudden,

519
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 2: all that judgment about you know, centering and being open

520
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 2: to listening to my body and all these things, I

521
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I see some of this really does

522
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,959
Speaker 2: make a lot of sense. And now I have this

523
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 2: really rigorous morning routine that I do. I love it.

524
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 2: Tell us what do you do? I love this? I

525
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 2: mean you love this because you know what's funny, Chelsea,

526
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 2: you and I ten years ago would have been sitting together,

527
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:11,959
Speaker 2: chain smoking, laughing about this shit together. Yeah, but the world,

528
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 2: what's happened in the world, or I don't.

529
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 1: I think it's also as you age, you just as

530
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 1: you grow up, and it's a byproduct.

531
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 2: It is a definitely like a.

532
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 1: California La thing also is on the fast track, Like

533
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 1: my New York friends are not as like into all

534
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: the shit that I'm in. Yeah, but you definitely get

535
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,639
Speaker 1: to an age like I mean for you, I you know,

536
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 1: it was more of a health issue I remember, and

537
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 1: for me it was a mental health issue.

538
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 2: Like it was like.

539
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 1: Both, yeah, it's it's all connected and so you know,

540
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 1: it is a health issue. It's just like you, everything

541
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,679
Speaker 1: that's been working doesn't work anymore, and you have to

542
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: figure out a different coping mechanism, so to speak, a

543
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 1: different set of tools to actually carry you through and

544
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,639
Speaker 1: lift you up because all of the devices that you

545
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 1: had been using or that had been working.

546
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 2: For you just don't seem to work anymore, or are

547
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 2: backfiring yeah, or are doing the opposite.

548
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,679
Speaker 1: Like Oprah always says, this thing, things work for you

549
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: until they don't. And I would always be like, what

550
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 1: the fuck does that mean? Yeah, I don't understand what

551
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,840
Speaker 1: that means. Until I understood what that meant exactly, my bravado,

552
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:20,440
Speaker 1: my loudness, this big like cover that I had for myself,

553
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: or this big kind of protective armor that I had

554
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: worked for me for a long time, until it's like, okay,

555
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:28,680
Speaker 1: now what.

556
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 2: I want someone to come in?

557
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 5: Yeah?

558
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then you're invulnerable and you're like, uh, okay,

559
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:33,719
Speaker 1: what am I covering up?

560
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 2: What's inside?

561
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,199
Speaker 1: And I'm scared to reveal what's going on? So like,

562
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 1: I think it is a natural way of growing and

563
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,479
Speaker 1: evolving as a woman, especially.

564
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 2: Oh well, I don't know about you, but I have

565
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 2: received calls from so many girlfriends in my life who,

566
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 2: over the years I sort of look at as the

567
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 2: like normal ones, you know, they've never had major health

568
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 2: problems or major depression or major this or that, they're

569
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 2: not artists so to speak, have called me in the

570
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 2: last several years, like almost on the DL from their

571
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 2: closet going something is going on. I think I'm losing

572
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 2: my mind, and I'm like, no, you're not losing your mind.

573
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 2: Here's what's happening. First of all, we're getting to we're

574
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 2: women of a certain age, right, Nobody ever talked about that.

575
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 2: I was never told about that. So first, get to

576
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:26,880
Speaker 2: your doctor and get your blood levels.

577
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 1: Checked period, right, hormones checked everywhere, and sometimes your shit.

578
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 2: First, get your hormones. Yeah, and sometimes that's it and

579
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 2: you get that adjusted or you do whatever you have

580
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,920
Speaker 2: to do healthwise to get that adjusted. But then also,

581
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,880
Speaker 2: I think at the same time, for those of us

582
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 2: with kids who had kids around the same time, you

583
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,199
Speaker 2: start to come to that point where your kid is

584
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 2: now launching into the world, and the world that your

585
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 2: kid is launching into today is for many of us

586
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 2: quite terrifying. Yeah, so I agree, all of a sudden,

587
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 2: it's like, Okay, what do you got for me? Because

588
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: you and I, I think, have have a similar speed,

589
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 2: which is like I see the brick wall. Everyone is

590
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:13,440
Speaker 2: telling me there's the brick wall. And not only am

591
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:17,239
Speaker 2: I gonna like accelerate into the brick wall, because now

592
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,680
Speaker 2: you're telling me that there's a brick wall, but I'm

593
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,439
Speaker 2: going to go through that brick wall and I'm going

594
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 2: to show you that on the other side of it,

595
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 2: like good things are to come for me. Well, guess what.

596
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 2: That doesn't work that way. Yeah, So I sort of

597
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 2: push myself, you know, health wise and work wise over

598
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 2: extending myself through those walls till I was like, oh, okay,

599
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 2: this is what people mean by you know, take a minute,

600
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 2: or you know, maybe this one thing that you're doing

601
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:53,160
Speaker 2: is isn't working for you, and it's okay to admit that.

602
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 2: So I just now when I wake up in the morning,

603
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 2: I'm not invented any of it that you're gonna wreck

604
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 2: every single thing. You're gonna go, oh yeah, that's from this,

605
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 2: that's from this. I just have this little toolbox. Now gross,

606
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 2: even that I'm saying toolbox is gross. I wake up

607
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 2: in the morning. The very first thing I do, if

608
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 2: it's dark or light, I have to be outdoors. I

609
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 2: don't care where I am. I step outdoors. If it's

610
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 2: a place I can be barefoot, then I'm barefoot. I

611
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 2: stand outside and I sort of look around and I've

612
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 2: started doing this thing that I heard Patti Smith say,

613
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 2: which is I think something first? First thing in the day,

614
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 2: I thank something. I catch myself thanking my fork for

615
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 2: getting my food to my mouth internally sometimes now, but

616
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 2: I will thank you know whatever, whatever is the first

617
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 2: thing that comes to mind or to site. Then I

618
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 2: will journal. I will do my daily meditation. I have

619
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 2: to do one to two meditations a day. What's the

620
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 2: how long do you journey? Typically journaling can be five minutes,

621
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 2: it can be I can be swept away by it.

622
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 2: Then go do the rest of my morning routine, come

623
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 2: back and I'm doing it for another hour and it

624
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 2: becomes something else that's for work or whatever. Have to

625
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 2: move my body, have to listen to music, have to eat,

626
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 2: which I know sounds ridiculous, but there would be days

627
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 2: where I would be like, I have to get this

628
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 2: project and I have to get this thing done. I

629
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 2: have to get these emails done, I have to get

630
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 2: my sons whatever done, And it's four o'clock and I

631
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 2: haven't eaten, and I'm wondering why. So it's just really

632
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 2: like there's nothing earth shattering about any of it's it's

633
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: basic stuff, but from somebody who has spent their life,

634
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 2: you know, swirling through these I've had ten lifetimes. People go, oh,

635
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 2: you were you were in a band for those years

636
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: traveling around the world. When did that happen? But then

637
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 2: how were you also doing these four TV shows that

638
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 2: you were co creating and you were in and but

639
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 2: then how are you also you raise a cut Now

640
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 2: he's you have a twenty year old and you were

641
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 2: there for every game, every robotics match, and you're a

642
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 2: wife and you were at all of the tapings for this,

643
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 2: Like wait, how are all those people? So I'm enjoying

644
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 2: this stage of like I don't know. I don't know everything.

645
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 2: I don't know all the answers. And when I read

646
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 2: about a tip or I hear Patty Smith say, try

647
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 2: thanking even the physical objects in your life. I go,

648
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 2: all right, and I try it, and some of the

649
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 2: things have stuck. And now I feel slowly like I

650
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 2: am more centered than I've ever been in my life,

651
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 2: which is so awesome.

652
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 1: I also think the language that we use around our toolbox,

653
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: like I know you're saying it's gross because you know what, Ever,

654
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 1: because you don't want to everyone, it's not very punk

655
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 1: rock emotional, but it is punk rock to be cool

656
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 1: about your emotional toolbox, do you know what I mean? Yeah,

657
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 1: you can make that punk rock like it is punk

658
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,960
Speaker 1: rock because it fucking works, and people change and they

659
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: realize like, oh, actually, the way for me to be

660
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: the most effective and like luscious human being is to

661
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 1: get a fucking toolbox, you know what I mean? That

662
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: it makes there's like a magnetic attraction between you and

663
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 1: the world when you're walking outside in the morning looking

664
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 1: at the trees and thanking them.

665
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 2: For being there.

666
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 1: You know, but I can relate to everything you're set

667
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 1: makes me laugh, I know.

668
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 2: I know.

669
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,239
Speaker 1: And in beginning, when I started doing this, like what

670
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 1: you're talking about, when I started meditating, when I started

671
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 1: when I went into real therapy, when I did all

672
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 1: that stuff, I would just be like, oh god, I

673
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 1: can't tell anyone about this.

674
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 2: People are gonna be like, what.

675
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 3: Are you talking about?

676
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: Like I have a personality change, Like it's like I

677
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: got a personality transplant. Because there's like a transitional period

678
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: of time where you're like, what am I doing and

679
00:32:58,200 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 1: who am I acting like?

680
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: And is this real? And then you're like hiding it.

681
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 1: You know, i'd be meditating, I'm like, okay, nobody could

682
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: see me doing this, it's a secret. It's like, actually,

683
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 1: it works better if you don't give a shit who's

684
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:09,720
Speaker 1: seeing you meditate, You know what I mean.

685
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 2: It's so true.

686
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 1: You got to be loud and brave about all the

687
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 1: things that you're into at the time, and it's okay

688
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 1: to change your mind and be into other things that.

689
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 2: You believe are helping you.

690
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 3: It's that's cool.

691
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 2: I was on a red carpet the other day at

692
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 2: south By Southwest and this young woman said, what kind

693
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 2: of music are you listening to these days? I just

694
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 2: was totally honest with her. I said, you know what

695
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 2: I'm listening to on rotation on Spotify, calming piano music,

696
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 2: four dogs.

697
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 3: That's not very fun.

698
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 2: I was looking for a sound.

699
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 1: I like to sleep to the rain machine, right, that

700
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 1: rain app that you get on your phone. And I

701
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: was looking for a sound. And I was with this

702
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:54,959
Speaker 1: guy the other night and he was like, can we

703
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: please just not have a thunderstorm?

704
00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 2: Like it's very He's like, it's very I'm like, I

705
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 2: need it to sleep. I need some sort of rain.

706
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 2: I love the rain.

707
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 1: And he's like, and so he's searching all the sounds

708
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: and one came up was a food court ambient no no,

709
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 1: And I'm like, fuck wants to listen to that as

710
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:14,359
Speaker 1: they go to sleep?

711
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 2: And who's sleeping in a food court to even know

712
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 2: that they like that sound?

713
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 1: But some of those sounds are just like, oh, this

714
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,439
Speaker 1: makes no sense. But who knows what people are into.

715
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,320
Speaker 2: I guess when I first moved to California, my mom

716
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 2: sent me this is how long ago it was cassettes

717
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 2: of New York Street sounds because it was so quiet,

718
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 2: it creeped me out, and I would play cassettes of

719
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 2: just New York City street. Oh that's cute, that is cute.

720
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 2: I like you, And if I had grown up in

721
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 2: a food court, maybe that's what I would be listening to.

722
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 2: We don't know that you didn't grow up in a

723
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,240
Speaker 2: food court. Let's say honest, stay tuned.

724
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,720
Speaker 1: First of all, we need to talk about your project

725
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 1: four se Yes, we do. We got off on a

726
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 1: tangent about all of our new Shenani. The second season

727
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: of four Seasons is out today on the day you're

728
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 1: hearing this.

729
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,320
Speaker 2: So this is very exciting. It's a phenomenal show.

730
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 1: Tina Fey created it with You're married to Steve Carell

731
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 1: in the show in.

732
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 2: The show and the first season. If you haven't watched

733
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,880
Speaker 2: the first season, I don't want to spoil it for

734
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 2: you because you might want to rewatch.

735
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 1: If you haven't watched the first season, watched the first

736
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,800
Speaker 1: season before you watch the second season.

737
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:25,399
Speaker 2: Yes, that's good advice. Yes.

738
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 1: And are we going to see any sort of I

739
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 1: know there's lots of like different couple situations happening in

740
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: the show and season two.

741
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 2: Are we going to see any sort of.

742
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 1: Like sexual, any sort of swinging something like that. That's

743
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: what I'm expecting to happen.

744
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,399
Speaker 2: You know what. I will say this about season two,

745
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 2: just like season one, as the scripts were rolling in

746
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,879
Speaker 2: and I thought, oh, I know it's going to happen now,

747
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 2: especially because it was based on a movie. The first

748
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 2: time on Allan Alda's film, you kind of knew what

749
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 2: was coming. I was surprised every time this season, same thing.

750
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 2: Every time a script came in, it was like a

751
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 2: delightful surprise. It was like, oh I did I never

752
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:04,839
Speaker 2: saw this coming, and this is exactly what should happen. So, oh,

753
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 2: there's so I'm so excited about this season. Oh, I'm

754
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 2: so happy for you, happy for me. It's perfect. I

755
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 2: love it. Okay, Well you can shoot in today, you guys.

756
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 2: It's streaming on Netflix.

757
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 1: If you're watching this on Netflix right now, switch over

758
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: to four seasons.

759
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 3: Oh that's a good idea.

760
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, your dog is an ankle fetish. She does.

761
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 3: She's like, so you said that she started looking at

762
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 3: my ankle.

763
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 2: I need an ankle licking dog.

764
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 1: That would be a nice way to fall asleep with

765
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 1: somebody licking your feet at me, but specifically I think

766
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 1: a dog.

767
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

768
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 3: Well, her first question is our wondering questions. This is

769
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 3: just a little shorty, This person says. I love my

770
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,399
Speaker 3: new little niece, but my brother and sister in law

771
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 3: have the worst nickname for her. Her name is Naomi,

772
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 3: but they exclusively call her nipple whooe me. It makes

773
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,359
Speaker 3: me cringe so hard I feel like my stomach's kind

774
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 3: of fall out through my butthole. They keep using the

775
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,360
Speaker 3: baby talk version of her name, and it feels like

776
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 3: we're all expected to just join in. Can I just

777
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 3: blatantly keep calling her by her government name, Brenda?

778
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,439
Speaker 2: Yes, you can do whatever you want.

779
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: You don't have to adopt a nickname because someone else

780
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 1: adopts a nickname. Whoee is a little tricky, but parents

781
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 1: are allowed to do whatever the fuck they want with

782
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 1: their children. With in terms of nicknames, you know, they

783
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: just are yeah.

784
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and and they'll change throughout the years too, hopefully

785
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:24,280
Speaker 2: with woemye.

786
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 3: Right.

787
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's hope Naomi.

788
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 1: While I have a friend nine Naomi and then my

789
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: friends call her nigh, and I always have trouble with

790
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: that too, because I'm like, nah, that doesn't That's not

791
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:36,040
Speaker 1: euphonious to me.

792
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 3: That's just me. I've heard know me for Naomi? But whoamane?

793
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 2: Whoam? It sounds like maybe they did it because the

794
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 2: child wasn't able to say their own name, so they're

795
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 2: sort of mimicking with the child.

796
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 3: I think this is like a little an infant. I

797
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 3: think that was what I told.

798
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 2: Well, hopefully when that infant starts talking, she can tell

799
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 2: her parents to shut the fuck up. That's true.

800
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 3: Let's hope so well. Our first color today is grace.

801
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 2: I'm so nervous, dopey, look at you in your car.

802
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:08,360
Speaker 3: So Grace says, must I begin with how much of

803
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 3: a Chelsea fan I am? I think not. We know

804
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 3: how I ended up here. My friend of sixteen years

805
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 3: and her husband are due with their second child this month.

806
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 3: They also have a toddler. Her husband's work schedule has

807
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 3: a lot of out of town time for being a

808
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 3: salesman at a local equipment rental company. Supposedly they sent

809
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 3: him to the next state over for training recently, and

810
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 3: then to the far west side of the state this week. Oh,

811
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,399
Speaker 3: and they're sending him to Cabo And while my friend

812
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 3: could have gone, she's conveniently too close to her due

813
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 3: date to fly. I'm feeling more and more sure that

814
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 3: he is cheating on her, and planned to call his

815
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 3: company looking for a job, to ask some questions related

816
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 3: to how and where his training takes place and narrow

817
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 3: down if I'm on track. The thing is, if I

818
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 3: find out what I think is true, my friend doesn't

819
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 3: have a lot of support from her family and me

820
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 3: and our other close friend live hours away. If I

821
00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:59,879
Speaker 3: find out the truth, I couldn't stomach not telling her,

822
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 3: but being so close to delivering their second child, I

823
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 3: know it would really do a number on her. I

824
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 3: just need some guidance to ensure my moral compass is

825
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 3: guiding me in the right direction. Should I confront my

826
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 3: friend about her investigation? Strongly suggests cheating husband Grace.

827
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:15,359
Speaker 5: Hi.

828
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:20,800
Speaker 1: Grace, Hi, Hi, this is our special guest, Carrie Kenny Silver. Say,

829
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 1: that's a conundrum. I understand your feelings. I've definitely felt

830
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 1: that way in relationships before about my friends, but I

831
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 1: do not think it is your job to investigate this matter.

832
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 1: I understand that you want to do everything for your friend,

833
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 1: and I would want to do the same thing, But

834
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 1: in the situation that she's in, which is about to

835
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 1: give birth, like she's already in a very vulnerable state,

836
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 1: and she's going to need a lot of support, like

837
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 1: it's and she'd probably end up. I mean, it's just

838
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 1: adding on top of you know, like this is not

839
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: the right time, and if he is cheating on her,

840
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: she's eventually going to find out. You bringing this information

841
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 1: to her at this time would probably, if anything, do

842
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 1: more damage to your relationship with her than it would

843
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 1: to her relationship.

844
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,359
Speaker 2: That's exactly I was going to say. Also, I don't

845
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 2: know if you're a mom, but I'll tell you that

846
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 2: that part when you're about to have the baby, and

847
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,879
Speaker 2: then right after you have the baby, this is about

848
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 2: the baby, and mom's mood is directly related to the

849
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 2: health of this baby. And then the bonding that happens

850
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 2: after and ps. My suspicion is that if you think this,

851
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 2: she probably is way ahead of you on any thoughts.

852
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 2: And I agree that it's maybe possibly the worst timing

853
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 2: in the world. Thank y'all.

854
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 4: I definitely needed to hear that, because you know, it's

855
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 4: such a conundrum of a position to be in. I

856
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 4: did call and to ask, as if I was inquiring

857
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 4: about a job, if they do any training out of town,

858
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 4: if they do any work out of town, and basically

859
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 4: I was told, Nope, we do all training in house.

860
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 4: We don't ever send our guys like out of town.

861
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 4: We aim for everybody to be home at the end

862
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 4: of the day. So you know, that just kind of

863
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,720
Speaker 4: like continues to confirm my suspicion. But I definitely agree

864
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 4: with what y'all are saying about, you know, just supporting

865
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 4: her and not.

866
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 2: Making that move right this minute.

867
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 1: What do you think, Harry, and what do you guys

868
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 1: think about saying something to the husband just to give

869
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 1: him an idea that you.

870
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 2: Know, like, what do you think about that?

871
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 1: That just popped into my head independent of your friend

872
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: like leaving her out of it, being like, you know,

873
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 1: like kind of calling him out like just you and him,

874
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: like even just like you know, I'm just throwing it

875
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 1: out there.

876
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 2: I'm not giving you this advice.

877
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 1: I'm just wondering what impact that would have if you said, like, hey,

878
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: just so you know, like you know, I had a

879
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:58,359
Speaker 1: friend applied, or I had a friend who was looking

880
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: for a job who wanted to whatever you can make up,

881
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 1: whatever lie you want to find out the information that

882
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,280
Speaker 1: you just found out. Or I just thought your traveling

883
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,720
Speaker 1: sounded suspicious, so I called your work and I actually

884
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,839
Speaker 1: found out that they don't send train yours out. I'm

885
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 1: not going to say anything to your friend right now,

886
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: like your wife, I'm not going to say anything. I

887
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:18,719
Speaker 1: just want you to know that I see you, like

888
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: I wonder if that would have any impact.

889
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:24,359
Speaker 2: What do you think I my personal feeling about the

890
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:27,720
Speaker 2: whole situation. All I can think about is this kid,

891
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,359
Speaker 2: and so I kind of feel like this is their

892
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:37,239
Speaker 2: journey and your job is as her friend, and her

893
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 2: job is as that mom, and this will work itself

894
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:44,760
Speaker 2: out how it's supposed to. But to light the fuse

895
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 2: at a time that is not of their own making

896
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 2: would possibly blow things up, or like Chelsea saying, could

897
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 2: blow things up with your because you could also be

898
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 2: wrong and it could blow with your friendship forever, and

899
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 2: she would be like, what do you do in trying

900
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 2: to come between my kid, my husband, and my life?

901
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 2: And that would be horrible as well. So I fear

902
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 2: for all of you. Yeah, I think that's right.

903
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: And being the only mother that's here in this conversation,

904
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 1: are you a mom? Okay, So let's defer to carry

905
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: on that too, because it is really the most important

906
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,360
Speaker 1: thing is for the child and for her to be

907
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,240
Speaker 1: healthy and to kind.

908
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 2: Of get through this for you know, initial time.

909
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: And if at some point you find like irrefutable proof

910
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 1: that that is indeed happening, then that's a different situation.

911
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 1: Like but you doing detective work on her behalf? Well,

912
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 1: I think that like shows you're a fucking awesome friend.

913
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 1: I don't think it's helpful in this moment and in

914
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:51,240
Speaker 1: this situation down the road if things start to escalate

915
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,919
Speaker 1: and you really see like he's being disrespectful to her

916
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,840
Speaker 1: and she's suffering and these things are plainly obvious to

917
00:43:58,880 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 1: everyone but her.

918
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 2: Because I do kind of disagree that.

919
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 1: I think that sometimes women don't know what's going on,

920
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 1: especially if they're pregnant and they're consumed with all of

921
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 1: that that you're kind of like not thinking about that

922
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,760
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And some women are in denial about

923
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: what their you know, partner is doing. But I just think, yeah,

924
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,920
Speaker 1: just be as great of a friend as you can

925
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 1: be while she's going through this time. Help her go

926
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 1: through this time knowing what you suspect, but you still

927
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:28,359
Speaker 1: don't really know, and you know, and see where you

928
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,279
Speaker 1: are in a year or you know, even down the line,

929
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 1: it may all reveal itself and you may not have

930
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 1: to ever say anything. But you know, I appreciate the

931
00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 1: friendship and the fact that you're calling about this.

932
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,919
Speaker 2: I get the bet, the bet you can't lose by

933
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 2: putting all of this energy that you have right now

934
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,440
Speaker 2: into being the best friend you can to someone who

935
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 2: is about to have a baby, Because that way, if

936
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 2: it does blow up, she'll know, oh, my friend is here.

937
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 2: She's been here for me from the beginning, and I

938
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:01,239
Speaker 2: do have someone someone on my side. Or if the

939
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:04,399
Speaker 2: relationship doesn't blow up and it's not a thing, you

940
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 2: have just made your relationship closer with her anyway, And

941
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 2: it could be an anecdote you could laugh about years

942
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 2: from now. So either way, you can't lose by just

943
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 2: diving into your friendship and your help and her situation.

944
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 2: I agree, Well, thank you' all.

945
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:22,800
Speaker 3: I appreciate your input.

946
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,759
Speaker 2: All right, thank you, and thank you for having a

947
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 2: stable connection in your car.

948
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 3: I appreciate that it does not always happen.

949
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 2: Ta't care, grace right, bye, aye you guys. Thank you.

950
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 3: I actually think having talked to her before that advice

951
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:43,279
Speaker 3: probably as a relief to her because I know it

952
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 3: is very deliver that news, yeah, coming out and you know,

953
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 3: the sort of thing.

954
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 1: So I had a friend once go through something like this,

955
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 1: like you know, and I remember I had said something

956
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 1: to the partner of the friend in front of everyone,

957
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,720
Speaker 1: and then when it was revealed, which was not revealed

958
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 1: by me, it was revealed, the friend came back and

959
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 1: was like, do you remember when you said that?

960
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 2: And I was like yeah, And she's like, were you

961
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 2: suspicious in that moment?

962
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,319
Speaker 1: I said yeah. She goes, well, why didn't you say

963
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 1: anything to me? I go, I did.

964
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 2: I said it in front of everyone. She doesn't want

965
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 2: to hear it.

966
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 1: This is weird, I go. I wasn't gonna push it

967
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:15,240
Speaker 1: beyond that. I didn't have any proof.

968
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 2: I just felt like something was off right. It was awing.

969
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 2: But my friend did not have that inkling at all.

970
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 1: So I don't think you know everyone or was not

971
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 1: ready for it or yeah, or wasn't paying attention.

972
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:28,800
Speaker 3: And you've raised such a good point about like, she's pregnant,

973
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 3: she's got a two year old, so this has been

974
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 3: at least three years that she's like not had the

975
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 3: thought process of, like, is my husband running, she's a

976
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 3: little busy, she's busy.

977
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,319
Speaker 1: This goes back to my original comment when Carrie sat

978
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 1: down that men are garbage.

979
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 2: Good night everybody. Benfirmed, Well, it is funny not to

980
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 2: bring it back to the four seasons, but that is

981
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 2: if you have watched season one, the whole everything revolves

982
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 2: around the fact that Steve Carell, my husband has been

983
00:46:56,440 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 2: cheating on me for years, and that's what lows up

984
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 2: this this friendship to get a couple's retreat exactly. So

985
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 2: it's a it's a have you ever done anything in

986
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 2: real life like a couple's retreat? No, Well, in the

987
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 2: four Seasons, it's not a couple's retreat. What it is

988
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 2: is a group of friends of twenty five years who

989
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 2: travel together every season. So they were traveling any We

990
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 2: were traveling anyway. But you watch the downfall of our

991
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 2: relationship through the travels and then what happens to the

992
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:30,320
Speaker 2: rest of the group throughout the travels. But a couple's retreat.

993
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 1: No one that would be specifically designed for like like

994
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 1: you know, enhance your relationship, or like I just find

995
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,879
Speaker 1: those things like now you yeah.

996
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 2: I don't. I mean, I may be like meditating and journaling,

997
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 2: but I'm not gonna sit with my husband and be like.

998
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 3: Stare to each other's eyes.

999
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 2: I'll just give it another ten years.

1000
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 1: Next time we see each other, you're gonna come back

1001
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:52,959
Speaker 1: and you'll be like, Chelsea, You're never.

1002
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 2: Gonna believe running one I have. I'm running. I could.

1003
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:57,840
Speaker 1: Actually that would be a great character for you to

1004
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 1: play too, somebody running a couple's retes.

1005
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 3: Well, we have a caller calling in now who is

1006
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:05,799
Speaker 3: hopefully not a garbage man. I don't think he's a

1007
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 3: garbage man, but the.

1008
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 2: Same do you mean a man who is a man

1009
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:13,360
Speaker 2: collector of collector of garbage?

1010
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,520
Speaker 3: That might be his job. I'm not sure, but Joseph says,

1011
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, my partner lost his mother about a year

1012
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 3: and a half ago, and the last year has been

1013
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 3: full of healing, grieving, and family time. My partner's father, Mike,

1014
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 3: talked about dating or seeking a non romantic partner, and

1015
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 3: that idea was slowly accepted by the family, but it

1016
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 3: was still a surprise to hear it spoken of within

1017
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 3: a year. Recently, Mike has been seeing someone and it

1018
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,400
Speaker 3: has quickly moved into a full on romantic affair that

1019
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 3: is being kept a secret. His girlfriend, Stacy, has spent

1020
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,280
Speaker 3: time at the family cottage. After all, his children asked

1021
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 3: Mike not to take her there. My partner and I

1022
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 3: want Mike to be happy, but it started to feel

1023
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,239
Speaker 3: so heavy to keep secrets within the family and to

1024
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 3: watch the overstepping of boundaries. My partner's sister is especially

1025
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 3: hurt and upset. At the end of the day, I

1026
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 3: just want to support my man and enjoy spending time

1027
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 3: with his family. We've expressed to Mike that we want

1028
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 3: to meet Stacy, but she told Mike she isn't ready

1029
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 3: for her ex husband to find out, and so this

1030
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 3: entire relationship is hush hush. Taking her to the cottage

1031
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 3: really hurt the family's feelings, especially because my partner's late

1032
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:18,879
Speaker 3: mother explicitly asked for anyone he'd eventually meet to stay

1033
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 3: away from the cottage. I most focused on what my

1034
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 3: partner is comfortable with and how we can best work

1035
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:25,759
Speaker 3: as a team. So how do we convince his sister

1036
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:27,560
Speaker 3: and siblings that it's okay if Mike moves on?

1037
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 1: Joseph, Hi, Joseph, Joseph Hi. I think, Hi, this is

1038
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,920
Speaker 1: Carrie Kenny special guest today.

1039
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:42,240
Speaker 2: I need a recap. I understand it's your partner's father's

1040
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 2: new girlfriend. Is that correct?

1041
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 5: That is correct?

1042
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 1: Yes, And they know about her, but they he won't

1043
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 1: bring them her around.

1044
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:55,840
Speaker 5: Yeah. So since the letter, she is now been introduced

1045
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 5: to the family, But we've still had a ton of

1046
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 5: tension and and I think a lot of it has

1047
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 5: to do with just grieving that hasn't happened, and worry

1048
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:07,879
Speaker 5: that it's somehow going to take place of their mom,

1049
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 5: their mom's memory.

1050
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 2: If that is of course, yeah, that's natural. Yeah.

1051
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 3: Can we also ask like what is the drama with

1052
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 3: the cottage? Like why is the family so averse to

1053
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 3: her going there?

1054
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 5: I think initially my partner and I were just kind

1055
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,719
Speaker 5: of floored that it wasn't being shared with everybody in

1056
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 5: the family, and the cottage was his mom's kind of

1057
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:31,840
Speaker 5: final project that really was sat down on her deathbed

1058
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:33,680
Speaker 5: and went through everything and how it was going to

1059
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 5: be coordinated, and it was being contracted all like leading

1060
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:41,760
Speaker 5: up to that. So it was a space that also

1061
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 5: was then it's owned now by the kids. It was

1062
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 5: trusted to them, and that's why I thought it was

1063
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 5: so important that what their wishes are are honored about

1064
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 5: it as opposed to some getaway for their father.

1065
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 2: You know, can I ask you a question that is

1066
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 2: inappropriate and you can you can tell me to fuck off?

1067
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 5: Sure?

1068
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:05,919
Speaker 2: Is there an enormous age gap between the two of them?

1069
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 2: And do any of you suspect that there is any

1070
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 2: sort of financial motivation? Motivation?

1071
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 5: I think that was a concern upfront, But no, there's

1072
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 5: not a huge age gap. It's I think pretty relative,

1073
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 5: like ten years, so it's not a huge like outside

1074
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 5: of appropriate. And she is very she's very successful in

1075
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,560
Speaker 5: the same kind of realm that he has.

1076
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:33,799
Speaker 2: Because the reason I asked is because I have a

1077
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:38,560
Speaker 2: friend who this happened to. This woman jumped in way

1078
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:43,840
Speaker 2: the junior of mom and took all the money.

1079
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,320
Speaker 3: Well, it happens all the time. Yeah, it happens.

1080
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:49,279
Speaker 2: So okay, So so this it really is about sentimental

1081
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 2: and mom's wishes and all the things. I lost my

1082
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,799
Speaker 2: mom eight years ago. You knew my mom. She my

1083
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:59,239
Speaker 2: mom loved you. Thank you. I don't blame you, but

1084
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 2: I mean I blame you little bit just actually for

1085
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:05,439
Speaker 2: her mother's death. Well, we can't talk about it because

1086
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 2: it's still a legal issue. It's not been completed yet.

1087
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 2: But you know, she was my best friend. She was

1088
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:15,640
Speaker 2: I could see how you know, even as adults that

1089
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 2: that idea of But but that's mom, and that's Mom's place.

1090
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 2: My mom had a home that is now mine because

1091
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 2: I was her only child and I didn't even want

1092
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,440
Speaker 2: renters in there. I mean, I'm a fifty six year

1093
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 2: old woman, like my mom is no longer here. I

1094
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 2: still I understand that. I do understand that, and especially

1095
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 2: if it involved But at the same time, I do

1096
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:44,960
Speaker 2: also understand that our time here is finite, and you

1097
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:49,800
Speaker 2: guys's time with dad or dad in law is finite.

1098
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:54,760
Speaker 2: His time on earth is finite, and that some things

1099
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:59,319
Speaker 2: are worth setting aside so that we never know how

1100
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 2: many more time we have left with somebody. And is

1101
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:09,239
Speaker 2: it really worth the the likes that goes with the

1102
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:12,040
Speaker 2: what's mine is mine, what's yours is yours, what's yours

1103
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,280
Speaker 2: is mine, what's mine? Yeah, I agree with that totally.

1104
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 1: But also it sounds like the mother was pretty specific

1105
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 1: about what she wanted to happen with this cabin right

1106
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:24,120
Speaker 1: that she didn't want anyone else in there, especially if

1107
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 1: the partner her ex husband or former husband I should say,

1108
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 1: was with a new partner, right, did you specify that

1109
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:31,840
Speaker 1: in her will?

1110
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 5: And yeah, that's correct. She definitely made mention of that

1111
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:36,839
Speaker 5: very specifically at the end.

1112
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, so like that that is worth like saying, but

1113
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 1: for your partner or or sisters or somebody to bring

1114
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:46,239
Speaker 1: up to be like this is really disrespectful. Like, we

1115
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:48,759
Speaker 1: can understand that you want to have a relationship your

1116
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:49,439
Speaker 1: human being.

1117
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:50,360
Speaker 2: That's your decision.

1118
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:52,799
Speaker 1: If you're ready for that, that's fine, But this is

1119
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:55,160
Speaker 1: a very specific instruction that we got. There's not a

1120
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 1: lot of gray area here, So it feels disrespectful to

1121
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:01,840
Speaker 1: our mother. Again, you're not in like the nuclear family.

1122
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 1: You are a plus one right now, So I don't

1123
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,560
Speaker 1: think it behooves you to get involved and get in

1124
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 1: the weeds in this and I love the question, like,

1125
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 1: how do we work as a team so I can

1126
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 1: best support my partner?

1127
00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 2: Like that's lovely hard, and that's true.

1128
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 1: That's what you want to do, is you want to

1129
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 1: support whatever their decision may be. But it is valid

1130
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 1: that they are upset about this when they were because

1131
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 1: most people die and they don't give you specific instructions

1132
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 1: and then everyone's just fighting for no reason without anything

1133
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 1: to point to. But this is pretty specific, especially with

1134
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: regard to that location. So that is kind of ick

1135
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 1: that the father is just like disregarding that. But I

1136
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,240
Speaker 1: guess your question is just how to be a better partner.

1137
00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:43,560
Speaker 1: And I think it's like whatever your partner and his

1138
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 1: sister decide.

1139
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 2: How many kids are there in the family.

1140
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,719
Speaker 5: There's four, okay, so.

1141
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:50,759
Speaker 1: There's four of them, and are they all kind of

1142
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:54,719
Speaker 1: in accord or do they have disagreements about that?

1143
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:56,960
Speaker 5: I think at this point it's mostly just we want

1144
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,839
Speaker 5: to support the sister and her feelings that are pretty

1145
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:03,440
Speaker 5: big about this, and I think the brothers are pretty

1146
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:04,840
Speaker 5: pretty okay with everything.

1147
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 2: They just want to see they don't know men don't

1148
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 2: care about it. So that's what I think I figured

1149
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 2: it out. I think we need to stage a haunting.

1150
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:16,960
Speaker 2: I think it's the only way out. You could borrow.

1151
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:21,719
Speaker 2: You can borrow my house. We'll stage a haunting and

1152
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 2: it will smook the ship out of this lady. She'll

1153
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 2: want out immediately, and then they'll go find a nice

1154
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 2: condo somewhere.

1155
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 1: Perfect what takes place in a haunting? Exactly which has come?

1156
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 2: Or this is going to be a dark haunting?

1157
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:34,239
Speaker 5: No?

1158
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:37,640
Speaker 2: No, no, I mean like like we fake it. Oh yeah, yeah,

1159
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 2: noises in the nice blank.

1160
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 1: Branches out her nightgown, the pipes, stuff like that.

1161
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:49,680
Speaker 2: That's good.

1162
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, a creative project could could be a good It could.

1163
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:57,120
Speaker 2: Bring everyone together, a nice light touch. Well, what I

1164
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,880
Speaker 2: would say, as the partner of somebody who has a sister,

1165
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 2: always side with the sister. You know what I mean.

1166
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:06,759
Speaker 2: You don't want her on your bad side. The men

1167
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:07,399
Speaker 2: don't care.

1168
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 1: They're benign, they'll go whichever way the wind blows. But

1169
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,359
Speaker 1: women just stick with the women. You are there for her,

1170
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 1: support her, and if she needs you to side with her,

1171
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:17,399
Speaker 1: then side with her.

1172
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:20,879
Speaker 5: Perfect cystal clear, I can do that.

1173
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:25,320
Speaker 2: Okay, great, thank your loss too. Yeah, thanks for calling

1174
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:25,719
Speaker 2: in too.

1175
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 5: Sorry for your mom's loss as well, and take care.

1176
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 5: Thank you. I appreciate it.

1177
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 2: Thank you. Thanks.

1178
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 3: See not garbage.

1179
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 2: The phrase garbage person ever came up, and then this

1180
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:39,600
Speaker 2: little sweet peace he was gay?

1181
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 3: He is, Yes, he is.

1182
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:45,239
Speaker 2: Well that's why I know they're not garbage. They're not garbage.

1183
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 3: You want one more? I got a little a little

1184
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:52,760
Speaker 3: quick kiki.

1185
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:55,239
Speaker 2: Yeah quick, Sure, we'll take a quickie to go out on.

1186
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:57,240
Speaker 2: I mean, always take the quickie.

1187
00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 3: We can actually take these off because this one's just

1188
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 3: an email. They looked so fashionable, So Ali says, dear Chelsea.

1189
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,359
Speaker 3: I've gotten myself into a bit of a situation. I'm

1190
00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:10,879
Speaker 3: a single mom of two teen boys, which leaves little

1191
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 3: time and energy to put into a serious relationship right now.

1192
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:16,000
Speaker 3: This year I met a man that's fifteen years older

1193
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 3: than me. We hung out a few times.

1194
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 2: Sorry, I thought you was saying he's fifteen. I was like, wait, hold.

1195
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 3: On, years old on me. I'll just I'll start pausing

1196
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:28,320
Speaker 3: after that age. We hung out a few times and

1197
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 3: really enjoyed getting to know each other, and one night

1198
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:32,800
Speaker 3: he kissed me. The problem is he's been married for

1199
00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:34,920
Speaker 3: thirty six years and told me he was in an

1200
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:37,440
Speaker 3: open marriage. I'm a woman's woman, and I had an

1201
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 3: issue with being more than just friends with this guy.

1202
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 3: He and his wife built a new home and both

1203
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:44,840
Speaker 3: have their own bedrooms. So what one night he asked

1204
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 3: me to come stay the night with him. His wife

1205
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:48,600
Speaker 3: would be on the other end of the house in

1206
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 3: her room. I couldn't wrap my mind around it until

1207
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 3: he broke it down for me. Fourteen years pure rum.

1208
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 2: This is how I feel about your question.

1209
00:57:57,400 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 3: Fourteen years ago, he found out his wife was having

1210
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 3: a full blown affair, and she begged him not to

1211
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:06,880
Speaker 3: leave her as she didn't want anyone to know of

1212
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 3: her affair, including the kids, and she'd never cheat again.

1213
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:13,160
Speaker 3: They agreed to stay together, but he's allowed to step out. Now.

1214
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:15,400
Speaker 3: All of this would be okay, but he and I

1215
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:17,480
Speaker 3: have caught feelings for each other and it's no longer

1216
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,320
Speaker 3: just a casual meetup. He even told his wife about me,

1217
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:22,480
Speaker 3: and her problem isn't that he's stepping out. It's that

1218
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:25,400
Speaker 3: I'm fifteen years younger and single. I don't know how

1219
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:27,320
Speaker 3: long I can do this, but I've fallen for this man.

1220
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 3: I'd love to hear your perspective on this, as the

1221
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 3: woman in me wants to shake myself and tell myself

1222
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 3: to quit messing with a married man. But the lover

1223
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 3: in me says, to follow my heart and believe everything

1224
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 3: happens for a reason.

1225
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:40,800
Speaker 2: Quick question. Yes, yes, because I started shenanigans. I stopped

1226
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:45,320
Speaker 2: listening for half a second. How old are her children? Teens? Yeah?

1227
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 1: No, just stop, stop, run as fast as you can

1228
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:49,440
Speaker 1: away from this situation.

1229
00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 2: Tell you something. You have four minutes with these children,

1230
00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:56,080
Speaker 2: four minutes with these babies, and then they are out

1231
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:58,920
Speaker 2: in the world. You are going to blink your eyes

1232
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden you're going to hope

1233
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:03,720
Speaker 2: they're going to want to come back for Thanksgiving and

1234
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:05,840
Speaker 2: then you know, have the rest of your life and

1235
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 2: help care for you as you get older and want

1236
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 2: to be part of and want to be you know them,

1237
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:13,840
Speaker 2: just meet your hopeful grandchildren and all the things. It's

1238
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:16,000
Speaker 2: a blink of an eye. And I understand why you're

1239
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:18,240
Speaker 2: going through it, especially with two. I only have one,

1240
00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:22,080
Speaker 2: But I understand it feels like this is forever and

1241
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:24,920
Speaker 2: when it and I am telling you, you're going to

1242
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 2: wake up one day in an empty house and you're

1243
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 2: going to go, oh my gosh. All I want to

1244
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 2: do is just have one more hour with that person.

1245
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 2: That you know, smelly kid and his axe body spray,

1246
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:43,680
Speaker 2: and you're not going to have that. And right now

1247
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:46,560
Speaker 2: is such a time when the kids are pushing away.

1248
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:50,480
Speaker 2: It's their job. It's genetic, it's supposed to happen. It's

1249
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:53,800
Speaker 2: science that they're pushing away. So you, I understand as

1250
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 2: a parent, you think, oh, well, they're after doing their

1251
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 2: own thing. Anyway. They don't need me. They need you.

1252
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 2: They need you energetically, they need you. You know, most

1253
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 2: people can't be home when their kids get home from school.

1254
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 2: It's just the way it is. The economy is in

1255
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 2: this country right now. And for me in my business,

1256
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:15,880
Speaker 2: I was away a lot, that was the nature of

1257
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:19,520
Speaker 2: our circus family business. But when I could be there,

1258
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:22,720
Speaker 2: when I could be there in case he said, hey

1259
01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 2: have a question or I'm thinking about this, he always

1260
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:31,400
Speaker 2: knew I was open and available and ready. And that

1261
01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 2: to me is how I can sleep at night. Now,

1262
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:41,440
Speaker 2: you have lots of time, and you have seconds left

1263
01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 2: with these people in your home at this stage of

1264
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,080
Speaker 2: their life. Is all I'm saying. Just at this stage,

1265
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:50,800
Speaker 2: and this is a vital stage. That's my take.

1266
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:52,680
Speaker 1: Well, I think that's a great point to bring up

1267
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:54,560
Speaker 1: because it wouldn't have been my point, but it is

1268
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:58,760
Speaker 1: a point because my point is this isn't a relationship

1269
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 1: that is easily explained to anybody. And imagine having to

1270
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,400
Speaker 1: explain it to your children that your boyfriend lives with

1271
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 1: his wife and that you get to go over there

1272
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:11,400
Speaker 1: and sleep over sometimes when she's okay with it, But

1273
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 1: her real concern is that, like, it's all so fucking messy.

1274
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:16,640
Speaker 2: There are a million people in this world.

1275
01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 1: There are millions of men and women everywhere that are

1276
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 1: single and looking. I believe me. Go on my Instagram.

1277
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:26,400
Speaker 1: I just was trying to hook people up. I have

1278
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 1: like one and a half million dms from women and

1279
01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:32,600
Speaker 1: men that are looking to pair up. People want to

1280
01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 1: be with other people. There are so many more suitable

1281
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 1: suitors too, that you could bring home, that you could

1282
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 1: have involved in your life in a more natural, organic

1283
01:01:42,880 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 1: way that you don't have to explain the story.

1284
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 2: And I will also tell you, even more importantly, I

1285
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:51,040
Speaker 2: believe as a parent, I'm not a perfect parent by

1286
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 2: any stretch of the imagination. I'm you know, some of

1287
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:57,560
Speaker 2: this stuff is based on stuff that I've made, stuff

1288
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 2: I've made mistakes on, but this one in particular, but

1289
01:02:02,640 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 2: even worse would be if you're thinking, well, the kids

1290
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:07,520
Speaker 2: won't know where I am. I'm going to tell them

1291
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:09,600
Speaker 2: that I'm at so and so let me tell you something,

1292
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:11,919
Speaker 2: the kids are going to know where you are, or

1293
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:15,400
Speaker 2: if the kids sense at anything at all, like you

1294
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:18,400
Speaker 2: are not telling them the truth in some way, or

1295
01:02:18,440 --> 01:02:22,160
Speaker 2: that it's not their business in some way. As they're

1296
01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:24,560
Speaker 2: about to enter the world and learn how to trust

1297
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,640
Speaker 2: people and have partners and do all those things, that's

1298
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:30,080
Speaker 2: going to be an underlying thing in their life. And

1299
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but when you have kids, that's part of

1300
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:38,800
Speaker 2: your responsibility. That's my feeling, and it's harsh, I know, but.

1301
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:41,680
Speaker 1: It's like also, if one of your kids came to

1302
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 1: you with this dynamic and ask you what they what

1303
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:46,160
Speaker 1: they should do, what would you tell them?

1304
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:48,760
Speaker 2: I also think you deserve better. Yeah, I think you

1305
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 2: deserve you do a full situation, Yeah, full, he's married.

1306
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:56,320
Speaker 1: That's it. It doesn't matter if you're in love with him.

1307
01:02:56,320 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 1: He's married, period. So let's move on. Problem solve to

1308
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:03,080
Speaker 1: find another person. Actually, don't find another person. Take a

1309
01:03:03,120 --> 01:03:06,200
Speaker 1: time out because you made a bad decision. Take a

1310
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:08,800
Speaker 1: time out, go spend time with your kids, and then

1311
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:12,280
Speaker 1: when someone comes into your life that is acceptable, respectable,

1312
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:15,800
Speaker 1: and respectful to you and your situation, that wants to

1313
01:03:15,840 --> 01:03:19,040
Speaker 1: be a part in addition to your family in some capacity,

1314
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 1: then that's great, But not this person. Those are our

1315
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:25,560
Speaker 1: thoughts and godspeed, there we go and we'll see you

1316
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 1: next week on Netflix anyway. Kerry Kearny Silver is in

1317
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 1: the new season of four seasons. Please make sure you

1318
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:33,280
Speaker 1: go from this to that.

1319
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:50,040
Speaker 3: Click if you want advice from Chelsea right into Dear

1320
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:53,480
Speaker 3: Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a

1321
01:03:53,480 --> 01:03:57,560
Speaker 3: production of iHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea

1322
01:03:57,560 --> 01:04:01,480
Speaker 3: Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flashcare. Dear Chelsea

1323
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:05,880
Speaker 3: is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law.

1324
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 3: Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and

1325
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 3: get tickets to see Chelsea live at chelseah Hamler dot

1326
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:18,440
Speaker 3: com