Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, what's up, dude. What's your name?
Speaker 2: My name's Grayson.
Speaker 1: This is Lyle. What's going on, man? How you doing?
Speaker 2: Oh? Not too much. I'm uh. I'm at work right
Speaker 2: now avoiding going into my store and doing my job.
Speaker 1: What's the store? I mean it's Is it a specific store,
Speaker 1: is it a chain?
Speaker 2: It's a chain?
Speaker 1: What's the store? Are you allowed to say?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Kroger, Kroger. Kroger's are mainly in the West coast, yeah,
Speaker 1: or like the not the west, the middle of the
Speaker 1: middle of the I almost said the Middle East to
Speaker 1: the middle of the country. There are no Kroger's in
Speaker 1: the Middle East. There's no, there is no. They don't
Speaker 1: have Kroger in Iraq.
Speaker 2: No, no, there are no Krogers in Iraq. Uh.
Speaker 1: What's it like working at the Kroger.
Speaker 2: Uh, it's fine, it's fine. I just stocked shelves and
Speaker 2: I listen to you and other podcasts and that's about it.
Speaker 1: What is the hardest part about the shell of stocking?
Speaker 2: Customers have no sense of spatial awareness or other people.
Speaker 2: A lot of times people will hark a cart like
Speaker 2: right in the middle of the aisle, walk away from it,
Speaker 2: and you know, take so much time and think and
Speaker 2: do whatever people do, but always ends up just kind
Speaker 2: of being a little frustrating as someone just doing a job.
Speaker 1: Do people? Have you seen there's this guy on YouTube.
Speaker 1: I kind of hate him, but he's I can't look
Speaker 1: away because he just he makes he makes content that
Speaker 1: I think is mean spirited, but it it's undeniably interesting
Speaker 1: where he runs up to people and forces them in
Speaker 1: the parking lot to put their shopping carts back if
Speaker 1: they left them out. Do you see that? Have you
Speaker 1: ever seen this guy?
Speaker 2: I have seen that guy. I think he's a little
Speaker 2: little heavy handed sometimes, but I I kind of dig it.
Speaker 1: It's undeniably very interesting to watch. Does that really?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Okay? Like, Okay, as a guy, I'm sure you've had
Speaker 1: to put away plenty of shopping carts left in parking
Speaker 1: lots before, have you not?
Speaker 2: I've never had to do that, but I really a
Speaker 2: lot of people do that.
Speaker 1: Okay, So, as somebody who's close to that, do you
Speaker 1: how evil of an action do you believe.
Speaker 2: It to be to leave the cart in the lot
Speaker 2: and not put it like in the little slot.
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I don't think it's evil, but I definitely think it's
Speaker 2: a I moral is definitely not the word, but like
Speaker 2: it's selfish almost, you know, it's it's it's a lack
Speaker 2: of thought kind of action that is, like without consideration
Speaker 2: for just the world happening around you. You know, leave
Speaker 2: as you left it? Yeah, you found it.
Speaker 1: Do you believe it's an indicator? Do you believe someone
Speaker 1: who does that there's a there's an INDI it may
Speaker 1: indicate that they're capable of greater evil.
Speaker 2: Deep down. Maybe what's your name again, Grayson?
Speaker 1: Grayson? Is there any particular reason you called into the
Speaker 1: show to.
Speaker 2: That I'm getting married in two weeks from today, congratulations,
Speaker 2: thank you, And then I am moving two weeks after that,
Speaker 2: and the pressure from those two things is definitely starting
Speaker 2: to mount. Mmm.
Speaker 1: How old are you? How long have you and your
Speaker 1: home even engaged? I don't know. I've never referred to
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say partner and I didn't want
Speaker 1: to say girlfriend, so I said homie, but you knew
Speaker 1: what I meant. How long have you guys been together?
Speaker 2: Four years?
Speaker 1: Four years?
Speaker 3: Cool?
Speaker 1: Are you excited to get married?
Speaker 2: I'm extremely excited. I'm very very excited.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. Tell me where the pressure is coming from.
Speaker 2: We both are in different kinds of jobs where she
Speaker 2: definitely picks up a lot more financially than I do,
Speaker 2: which has bled very heavily, like into the wedding where
Speaker 2: it's you know, far less than like fifty to fifty
Speaker 2: split input you know, financially and stuff like that. And
Speaker 2: then you know, she just works a lot. She's a nurse,
Speaker 2: works twelve and so she just does a lot. And
Speaker 2: we're getting married and then we're moving so that I
Speaker 2: can take a chance with my degree and try and
Speaker 2: take a try and to take a chance with you know,
Speaker 2: something that I actually want to do, which is wonderful
Speaker 2: because she's made a lot of like really made or
Speaker 2: you know, life choices and sacrifice for me. She's kind
Speaker 2: of the one that's like made the idea, like let's
Speaker 2: go somewhere more music friendly. My degree is in music
Speaker 2: for film, So we're going to Nashville so I can
Speaker 2: try and get something a little bit more in the
Speaker 2: industry or industry adjacent interesting, But I find myself a
Speaker 2: lot struggling with like, I don't know, making good on
Speaker 2: the sacrifice that she's making for me, you know, by
Speaker 2: by giving me this opportunity to go. I feel a
Speaker 2: lot of pressure to actually get a job, which has
Speaker 2: not really been going well so far.
Speaker 1: Okay, well I don't know, Well, all right, I actually
Speaker 1: I have I'll actually I have a lot of questions. So, like, okay,
Speaker 1: so this lady, she's a nurse, she are do you, guys,
Speaker 1: like financially contribute equally to the relationship or do you
Speaker 1: kind of contribute based on what each other makes.
Speaker 2: It's closer to based off what each other makes?
Speaker 1: Okay, And like do you feel because like because sometimes
Speaker 1: you know someone's contributing more financially and like they're happy
Speaker 1: to and and like it's fine. Like do you feel
Speaker 1: do you feel in your gut of guts that that
Speaker 1: there is any kind of resentment from her about that?
Speaker 2: I don't know that it's resentment as much as it
Speaker 2: as it is maybe like maybe disappointment that I haven't
Speaker 2: fully like committed to the changes that I need to
Speaker 2: or yeah, you know, haven't fully given my all or
Speaker 2: haven't necessarily like overcome like my like fears of failure
Speaker 2: regarding it and stuff like that. You know, I have
Speaker 2: a lot of like creative self consciousness, you know.
Speaker 1: So she so you feel not that she was sential,
Speaker 1: but that she I mean, so you feel like she's
Speaker 1: disappointed in you for not trying.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's so what's her deal?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: What like what's this woman's ideal life?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Does she is she like absolutely? Because is she like
Speaker 1: absolutely in love? Where are you where? I mean, don't
Speaker 1: give me the don't give me a logitude, lad to?
Speaker 1: But what state are you in?
Speaker 2: Ohio?
Speaker 1: You're in Ohio? Okay? Is she?
Speaker 3: Is?
Speaker 1: She in love with the great state of Ohio and
Speaker 1: she's in Ohio for die Ohio till I die?
Speaker 2: You know, we're trying to get out of here.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right? So so she's so is it well,
Speaker 1: so like, is it like, uh, I'm leaving behind my
Speaker 1: friends and my family for you to pursue this dream
Speaker 1: in Nashville? Or is it like Nashville that sounds fun,
Speaker 1: Let's go to Nashville.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like, oh, that's fun, let's go to Nashville.
Speaker 2: But for me, I can't I can't help but interpret
Speaker 2: it as this greater sacrifice, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Both of us have like all of our families around
Speaker 2: here and stuff like that, and Nashville is not too
Speaker 2: far of a drive, like we'll be up here like
Speaker 2: semi frequently. It's not like we won't see friends, we
Speaker 2: won't see family. You know, a lot of friends already
Speaker 2: live in other cities and other states and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: Just at this game, in the game of life and whatnot.
Speaker 2: So I don't know, that's not really like a big concern,
Speaker 2: but I can't help but feel like like that she's
Speaker 2: giving me this opportunity and stuff like that is therefore
Speaker 2: indicative of like a loss of some other dream or
Speaker 2: idea of life that she might have had.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, I have a few things I want to say.
Speaker 1: First of all, getting I don't want to be like
Speaker 1: negative about like the I'll touch on aspect. I'll touch
Speaker 1: on the aspect later. About like I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you listen to the show, but I've ran
Speaker 1: a bunch of I feel like I've talked a bunch
Speaker 1: about like the whole you know, like jobs in industry.
Speaker 1: Thing feels like it's very very very like remote more
Speaker 1: than it's like location dependent. But that's enough. I'm actually
Speaker 1: kind of more like what like again, like, what what
Speaker 1: is this woman's dream life? Like if she was like,
Speaker 1: what is what does this woman want that of life,
Speaker 1: and in what way do you believe that you are
Speaker 1: an impediment to that? Like, like you've told me, all
Speaker 1: you've really told me right now is that she's moved.
Speaker 1: She's she's moving to Nashville. Like I want to know,
Speaker 1: like what she what you feel like she is sacrificing,
Speaker 1: Like what's her dream life? And in what way are
Speaker 1: you getting in the way of it? Or or in
Speaker 1: what way do you believe you're getting in the way
Speaker 1: of it?
Speaker 2: I mean, her coort thing above anything is like, you know, family, Like, Okay,
Speaker 2: that's one thing. So I definitely kind of feel like
Speaker 2: a little I guess, maybe not guilt, but just that
Speaker 2: we're moving away from our our family and people that
Speaker 2: we're close to. But I you know, I that's kind
Speaker 2: of just the way of moving and getting out of
Speaker 2: way and whatnot.
Speaker 4: But she's but her dream Yeah, go ahead, I was
Speaker 4: gonna I was gonna say, like her dream life is
Speaker 4: I guess like she wants to be more in a
Speaker 4: city where like it's happening, you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: Like in Lava to New York.
Speaker 2: And Nashville of Florida, Cunting, which is great where we're
Speaker 2: going Yeah, yeah, I think I feel it more like
Speaker 2: I I can't even like fully articulate it other than
Speaker 2: just kind of like, you know, she does find actially
Speaker 2: support me ratioed, you know, more than like I am
Speaker 2: supporting her and stuff like that. Okay, so I kind
Speaker 2: of feel like, maybe not that she's sacrificing something for me,
Speaker 2: but that I really feel a pressure to, yes, pull
Speaker 2: it off, you know, to get to where I ideally
Speaker 2: want to because she's doing so much to allow me
Speaker 2: to take the chance to try.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I give you mean so well, Okay,
Speaker 1: a few things. It's like, yeah, if her if her
Speaker 1: dream is to go to the place where it's happening, uh,
Speaker 1: that's it's then yes, Nashville is going to be a
Speaker 1: better time for her than ohio I the angle of
Speaker 1: like this move is a sacrifice for her, Like, I
Speaker 1: don't think that's I think my my assessment is that like,
Speaker 1: this woman clearly loves you. Some woman clearly like has
Speaker 1: just like this woman just clearly as someone who loves
Speaker 1: you has a vested interest in your well being and
Speaker 1: in your thriving. And you, as as a person who
Speaker 1: loves this woman, have you have a vested interest in
Speaker 1: wanting to show through action your gratefulness to her for
Speaker 1: the support she's giving you out of the love that
Speaker 1: she has for her. And I think I think both
Speaker 1: of those feelings are are good, are are our respectable,
Speaker 1: valid feelings to have. But I don't think that they
Speaker 1: have to drive you insane, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't think that they have to cause you to spiral.
Speaker 1: I think you have a nice motivation and the and
Speaker 1: I think you have lots of reasons to like not
Speaker 1: fuck off and like, you know, sig out all day
Speaker 1: or whatever it is. But but the pressure of like
Speaker 1: I need to get a job in music production in Nashville.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't even know what that looks like.
Speaker 1: But I just she just she doesn't By the way,
Speaker 1: I don't think this this woman just wants you to
Speaker 1: have your mo Like you you sound like, tell me
Speaker 1: if there's a fair assessment. But it sounds like you're
Speaker 1: like you're looking for your mojo a little bit, you're
Speaker 1: kind of looking for your It sounds a little bit
Speaker 1: like you're looking for your mojo. This this lady, she
Speaker 1: loves it. She wants you to have your mojo. She
Speaker 1: wants you to like have the things in your life
Speaker 1: that make you feel like you're you're thriving as a
Speaker 1: human being and contributing in the relationship. And and even
Speaker 1: if and the thing and even if you can't find
Speaker 1: this specific thing, she just wants she wants to probably
Speaker 1: see that you're trying, and you want to see that
Speaker 1: you're trying. But if you go into this like outcome dependent,
Speaker 1: as they say, you just gonna spiral and go insane.
Speaker 1: You know, if you go into the if you go
Speaker 1: into this like I need to get a job in
Speaker 1: the music industry in Nashville or else, my wife's sacrifice
Speaker 1: of what else, my wife's horrible sacrifice of moving to
Speaker 1: from Ohio to Nashville will be in vain. Then you
Speaker 1: can spiral, you know what I mean? Like just just
Speaker 1: put in, just put it, like be like in be
Speaker 1: like input dependent, right, be like Okay, I can't fuck around,
Speaker 1: like I gotta I gotta apply to gigs. I gotta
Speaker 1: work on my music. Like when you know, if i'm
Speaker 1: if I'm like at home on my laptop, like let
Speaker 1: me do fucking And she's like making uh, she's like
Speaker 1: has a long shift as a nurse, Like let me
Speaker 1: do the laundry, let me clean, let me do the chores,
Speaker 1: let me ask her if she needs anything, like like
Speaker 1: be like be in service of her the best way
Speaker 1: that you can be by both being in service of
Speaker 1: yourself and being in service of her. The ways you
Speaker 1: can be like that's all shit that you should be
Speaker 1: like thinking about, not like I need to get this
Speaker 1: job or else. If I if I don't get this
Speaker 1: specific job, I'm fucked right. It's just like, how can
Speaker 1: how can you keep like being in service to the
Speaker 1: relationship by like improving yourself as a human being and
Speaker 1: improving like and you know, just like try like ways
Speaker 1: in which you, as her partner, can like bear the
Speaker 1: load of her existence. You know, So as long as
Speaker 1: you do those things, you'll be fine. Because I have
Speaker 1: bad dudes, You're probably gonna apply to a thousand because
Speaker 1: like because if you say to your because if you
Speaker 1: follow that method, there's like a way you can do
Speaker 1: it that that'll make you and her feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's happening, you're working towards it, you're doing it. But
Speaker 1: if you but but you might send out a thousand
Speaker 1: applecations to like work in like film production, music in Nashville.
Speaker 1: You might just you might just get rejected from all
Speaker 1: of them, like it's a crazy thing. Like that's very
Speaker 1: outcome independent. But like you can but you can choose
Speaker 1: I'll just unrepeat myself now, but you can choose like two,
Speaker 1: be there for her when she needs it and be
Speaker 1: there for yourself when you need it. And that's a
Speaker 1: little bit more input dependent. And so as long as
Speaker 1: you're as long as you're like the like like you
Speaker 1: should replace the pressure of like pressure and outcome independence
Speaker 1: into like what's the good what's a good word? Put
Speaker 1: it into more like motivation for your inputs, right, because
Speaker 1: it they because one is just like a spirally crazy
Speaker 1: feeling and the other one is like, oh shit, we
Speaker 1: got something going. I'm gonna fucking try to be you know,
Speaker 1: in service of this. I'm rambling. I don't know why
Speaker 1: I have an advice podcast. I hate giving advice. What
Speaker 1: did you think? Was that good advice? I?
Speaker 2: I think so? Yes, Okay, I think that's very helpful.
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't know if it do I is this
Speaker 1: an advice podcast? Am I an idiot? What's your name now?
Speaker 2: Grayson?
Speaker 1: Grayson? Did I what were you gonna ask me? What
Speaker 1: if I watched.
Speaker 2: Oh, I was just in the silence. I was gonna
Speaker 2: ask if you watched the Artemis two launched the Moon
Speaker 2: launch the other day?
Speaker 1: No, I didn't. How was it?
Speaker 2: It's incredible, really cool to see. I wish I could go.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll go down to the actual landing launch in
Speaker 2: a couple of years.
Speaker 1: See. I like chatting like so well, sometimes it's like
Speaker 1: a chat podcast. I like chat, but depends on what
Speaker 1: I'm in the mood for. Today. I was in the today.
Speaker 1: I think I gave advice today because I was in
Speaker 1: the advice. I was in the mood to do an
Speaker 1: advice podcast. Sometimes I'm in the mood to do a
Speaker 1: chat podcast. Sometimes I'm in the mood to do a
Speaker 1: journalistic story. But it depends on what I'm in the
Speaker 1: mood for.
Speaker 2: You're in the mood for is always appreciated.
Speaker 1: You're You're a great guy, dude. I'm not even fucking right.
Speaker 1: You seem like a good dude, you really do. You're generous,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm seriously, I can tell in our conversation
Speaker 1: that you're generous, just with how you are being in
Speaker 1: this conversation listening to me right now, I can tell
Speaker 1: that you bring that energy into your relationships. I respect you.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Do you when you go grocery shopping? Do you put
Speaker 1: your card away?
Speaker 2: Uh? I usually don't buy enough at one time to
Speaker 2: need a cart or Yeah, I usually put my card away,
Speaker 2: but I'll do it like inside the store and I'll
Speaker 2: just like load up all the bags on my arms,
Speaker 2: you know, to bring to my car.
Speaker 1: What's the what's the last thing you did for your
Speaker 1: your fiance.
Speaker 2: Bought our dinner last night.
Speaker 1: It's a good guy. Hell yeah, when's the.
Speaker 2: Wedding two weeks from today? April eighteenth? Nice?
Speaker 1: I'm excited for you guys. You sound like you get
Speaker 1: see you give a fuck. That's all that matters. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess not all that matters, but it's
Speaker 1: one thing that matters a.
Speaker 3: Lot, probably the first thing that matters.
Speaker 1: Definitely the first thing that matters. All Right, I'll let
Speaker 1: you go, man, unless if there's anything unless, if there's
Speaker 1: anything else you wanted to I wanted to say.
Speaker 2: Nothing in particular, gek bless everyone on the internet.
Speaker 1: Be well, hey, thank you brother, good luck and uh
Speaker 1: moszeletelve on the wedding. Good luck in Nashville brother.
Speaker 2: Thank you have a good one.
Speaker 1: You too, man, take care you too. I like that guy?
Speaker 1: Can't you tell? Why do I feel like I have
Speaker 1: such a different I wish every I wish everyone who
Speaker 1: listens to this podcast could listen, could just you could
Speaker 1: like be in my body while I'm recording it. They
Speaker 1: would have they would have such a different experience of
Speaker 1: it that I do. I feel like I can tell.
Speaker 1: I just can tell that it was a good guy.
Speaker 1: All these calls I've been I read the comments. I shouldn't,
Speaker 1: but I all these calls they feel and sometimes I'll
Speaker 1: go back. I'll listen because I'm insane. I won't listen
Speaker 1: to the whole thing. But like if I read a
Speaker 1: comment and they're like you were doing this, I'll listen
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, oh, that sounded a lot like
Speaker 1: I'll listen to a conversation like oh, when I'm like
Speaker 1: listening to it, that sounds so different than how it
Speaker 1: felt to be in the conversation, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: All Right? Who cares? Sorry? Hello?
Speaker 3: Hey, yeah, can you hear it?
Speaker 5: Hey?
Speaker 1: What's up? Man? What's your name?
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go by Johnny.
Speaker 1: Johnny, Johnny Rockets, Johnny Bravo, Johnny, Yeah, Johnny Pincipani, that's
Speaker 1: not real, Johnny. What's up man? What's going on? How's
Speaker 1: how's it hanging with you?
Speaker 2: Insomnia? Man?
Speaker 3: Just like like you know, like when you go to sleep,
Speaker 3: that's when all the top you have hits saying yeah,
Speaker 3: it keeps you awake.
Speaker 2: I can't sleep that, dude.
Speaker 1: I've been in the past year since I had like
Speaker 1: a crazy existential crisis. I now must fall asleep with
Speaker 1: the TV on. Ever since it's been a full year,
Speaker 1: I have to fall sep with the TV on.
Speaker 2: Dude.
Speaker 1: It so I'm serious, Like you can't. I love it
Speaker 1: your laugh because you know exactly what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: I can't. I've learned that, and I've like I should
Speaker 1: have been. I should have been doing this all along.
Speaker 1: Like I'm not a big like background noise music guy
Speaker 1: up until like a year ago, and now I must
Speaker 1: always have something on. Are you like that?
Speaker 3: I I love I love white noise. Like I'll have
Speaker 3: my fan on or sometimes I'll play YouTube on my phone.
Speaker 3: But I don't know, like but sometimes like you know,
Speaker 3: like anxiety and stuff. I'm just going through some ship
Speaker 3: right now. It's just like freaking me out.
Speaker 1: Do you want to talk about it or do you
Speaker 1: want to tell you ay something else?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: That last podcast? Last podcast, I said that to someone
Speaker 1: and I didn't mean it. I wanted to talk about
Speaker 1: the thing, but this time, but this, but this time.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm gonna lie, I'm gonna be honest. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: ask that question and I don't mean it. I usually
Speaker 1: want to talk about the thing, but this time, in
Speaker 1: this moment, I mean and I mean it. If you
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it, we talked about whatever
Speaker 1: you want, what.
Speaker 3: Do you That's why I call it, man, That's what
Speaker 3: I call it. Like I can't sleep. I saw you're
Speaker 3: like you're doing the thing. I'm like, okay, sure I'll
Speaker 3: call in and talk about it. But yeah, So like
Speaker 3: last Tuesday, my wife told me she wants to like
Speaker 3: either end things or like just take a break from
Speaker 3: all everything. M And it.
Speaker 2: Was like all of a sudden for me because.
Speaker 3: Like the past three weeks before that she was like
Speaker 3: perfectly happy, perfectly fine. I was like, what, well, She's like,
Speaker 3: I'm just emotionally exhausted. You do these things and it's
Speaker 3: just like that's a lot for me, And like you
Speaker 3: had to like pull up her phone and tell me
Speaker 3: like what those things were. And she's right, she's right
Speaker 3: like the stuff she said, she's right, and she brought
Speaker 3: it up last year too, and she also acknowledged that
Speaker 3: I'm improving upon them, but like I I haven't like
Speaker 3: completely gotten better about those, like I admit, like she's
Speaker 3: still hurting because of it.
Speaker 2: But.
Speaker 3: Like, uh, so sorry, I'm kind of nervous, like.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no, well okay, so immediately questions.
Speaker 1: So she said, all right, so just to recap, she's
Speaker 1: perfectly she's perfectly happy. Then she just hits you with
Speaker 1: the like yo, I gotta leave because of And then
Speaker 1: she pulls out her phone and she has notes she
Speaker 1: wrote she prepared for the conversation. She wrote down a
Speaker 1: list of these things which she had brought up to
Speaker 1: you a year ago. And then she and then she
Speaker 1: is saying to you, I want to give you, I
Speaker 1: want to give you credit. I see that you've been
Speaker 1: trying to approve upon these things. I think you are,
Speaker 1: but it's not enough for me, and so I gotta go.
Speaker 1: That's that's was her. That's kind of what's.
Speaker 6: Going I feel like, yeah, that's that's kind of the
Speaker 6: gist of it. But I feel like for her, it's
Speaker 6: just I think she has a hard time confronting me
Speaker 6: about these things. I try to be open and welcoming
Speaker 6: and be like hey, like, but I still I feel
Speaker 6: like she has a hard time with this, and it
Speaker 6: just sucks to know that.
Speaker 1: Hy be with the list what are the things?
Speaker 3: Uh so one of them is like, so'm I kind
Speaker 3: of fixate on things, like to the point where it's obsessive.
Speaker 3: Like suppose if I'm doing the dishes, I'll be like, oh,
Speaker 3: the dishes need to be done this exact way. That's
Speaker 3: what that way it's the most optimized. I know it's
Speaker 3: fucking ridiculous, Like I acknowledge that, but it's like a
Speaker 3: problem I'm trying to unlearn. So I'll be like doing
Speaker 3: the dish. I'll be like, Okay, the sick needs to
Speaker 3: turn on now, then turn turn turn off now, so
Speaker 3: I don't I don't waste too much water. I got
Speaker 3: to use this much dish soap, so I don't waste it.
Speaker 3: And sometimes she'll be doing the dishes, I'll be chilling
Speaker 3: in the living room and like I'll be watching her,
Speaker 3: which is extremely shitty. I know, but like again, like
Speaker 3: that's like a habit I'm like trying to unlearn. It's
Speaker 3: like it just that in everything where I just fixate
Speaker 3: and I try to like elver and it's not coming
Speaker 3: from a place I am ending up controlling that, But
Speaker 3: it's not coming from a place of trying to control her.
Speaker 3: It's more so like I'm just like so fixated on
Speaker 3: like that being done that way.
Speaker 2: And yeah, m how old are you?
Speaker 3: Nine?
Speaker 1: Has this been a problem your entire life?
Speaker 3: I feel like this is I think I did have
Speaker 3: fixations when I was younger, and I used to do
Speaker 3: certain things like I don't know if fixation is the
Speaker 3: right word, but I had certain things I used to do,
Speaker 3: like when I was.
Speaker 2: A kid.
Speaker 3: Sometimes why I would put a book down, I would
Speaker 3: pick it up again, put it back down, and I
Speaker 3: would do it like four times exactly or five times exactly. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I did that for a bunch. I think OCD is
Speaker 3: the term for it. Yeah, yeah, but I used to
Speaker 3: do the growing up, uh, And then throughout my college life,
Speaker 3: I was like a very messy guy, like wash everywhere.
Speaker 3: But then I saw her stepmom a couple of years ago,
Speaker 3: and I saw how she cleaned as she went, and
Speaker 3: then she hung out with everyone. She was socializing and
Speaker 3: then cleaning as she went, And I think something flicked
Speaker 3: in my brain where I was like, I can't be
Speaker 3: living like this like with this girl and we're growing up.
Speaker 3: I can't be living like a dumb ass like I
Speaker 3: got to grow up. And I think it became very
Speaker 3: intense after that point, where I was like way on
Speaker 3: top of like keeping the house clean and everything, and
Speaker 3: I think like that's when this started happening.
Speaker 1: Mmm, how long have you been with your wife, like
Speaker 1: including dating, like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wife careers three years?
Speaker 1: Three years? Yeah, okay, when do you first notice that
Speaker 1: this was a problem for you?
Speaker 3: When she brought it up last year?
Speaker 1: M And is she okay?
Speaker 2: So this is this?
Speaker 1: Is this the main thing? Or it's kind of like
Speaker 1: is there more to Is there more that she put
Speaker 1: on her notes.
Speaker 3: At Yeah, I'm trying to think. I think her note
Speaker 3: was more her a just more like like her being
Speaker 3: like sharing her emotions with me, like how she was
Speaker 3: being hurt, but I didn't get much points across it.
Speaker 3: I think it was more like there were certain things
Speaker 3: I would say certain times, and they were all like
Speaker 3: boiling up to a point where like she felt dis exhausted,
Speaker 3: and I just wish like you would tell me more
Speaker 3: often like hey, well, what the fuck why did you
Speaker 3: say that? Or something i've so I would be like, yeah,
Speaker 3: why why the fuck did I say that, rather than
Speaker 3: like it's coming up to a point where like at
Speaker 3: oil all like piled up and it all came out
Speaker 3: at once.
Speaker 1: M hm. So did you respond by being like, let's
Speaker 1: try to fix it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I did.
Speaker 3: I I still am and I have been afraid of
Speaker 3: therapy for the longest time. It's it's funny I'm calling
Speaker 3: the therapy that I know you're not a real therapist.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I listened to you all the time, and I'm afraid
Speaker 3: of therapy.
Speaker 1: I got the sense that you might not have been
Speaker 1: to therapy when you said I think this might be
Speaker 1: something called OCD.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know the term, right, Yeah, yeah, but yeah,
Speaker 3: coming back to the conversation, Yeah, I've been afraid of
Speaker 3: therapy for the longestime. It was it's not that I
Speaker 3: don't think it works. I know it works.
Speaker 2: It's more so.
Speaker 3: The process of finding the right therapist, Like what if
Speaker 3: someone is like more like a yes man or someone
Speaker 3: is not compatible and I gotta go through multiple people.
Speaker 1: I mean therapy therapy is fine, but okay, So I
Speaker 1: mean no, I think you should go to you should
Speaker 1: you should, you should a real therapist. You should always
Speaker 1: always go to you should always to a therapist. You
Speaker 1: should always go to a real therapist. I just like
Speaker 1: in my person I just in my personal I mean,
Speaker 1: I like doing this. I like talking to people and
Speaker 1: doing doing fake what I don't know whatever this is.
Speaker 1: I like doing it just talking. But in my own
Speaker 1: personal life, therapy therapy is fine. But okay, when did
Speaker 1: you tell you this.
Speaker 3: The last Tuesday?
Speaker 1: Last Tuesday? Do you have kids?
Speaker 2: Yep?
Speaker 1: Okay, what's your life like outside of your wife?
Speaker 3: M So, I'm kind of think of a way of
Speaker 3: saying this without giving out too much.
Speaker 2: I got a job.
Speaker 3: It's it's pretty, it's pretty chill. I enjoy it. Uh
Speaker 3: it's in software.
Speaker 2: I like.
Speaker 3: I just like technology overall. Like I'll be I like
Speaker 3: timpering with computers and stuff. Uh what else? I like
Speaker 3: cooking after my work, Like I go pick her up.
Speaker 3: We hang out at home. Sometimes we take trips every
Speaker 3: now and then, like every few months, we'll go like
Speaker 3: like into a new city or go hiking somewhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah mm hmm out. But I said, like outside of
Speaker 1: your wife, Like, do you have a lot of friends?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's another issue. My all my friends are
Speaker 3: like pretty spread out now. They're like yeah, they're like
Speaker 3: in different parts. They're like like five six hours away
Speaker 3: from me.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, Wow. What what part of town are
Speaker 1: you in?
Speaker 3: Like what city I'm in or not?
Speaker 1: I just state. I mean, you can give me the
Speaker 1: city if you want.
Speaker 2: I'm in Texas.
Speaker 1: Are you in Texas?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 2: Are you? Okay?
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, yeah, okay. What did what when she
Speaker 1: gave you this second round of notes or or or
Speaker 1: rather the first round of notes?
Speaker 2: Again?
Speaker 1: What what? What?
Speaker 3: What was the second round?
Speaker 1: It was the second round? It was a second round notes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, because like remember I told you she told me
Speaker 3: this last Tuesday and she brought it up, or like
Speaker 3: she she first told me this a year ago. She
Speaker 3: had a note ready at that time as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, okay, but what I'm asking is is this
Speaker 1: okay yeah, okay, No, you're right, it's a second round
Speaker 1: of notes. You you improved, meaning it's a second round
Speaker 1: of notes. So how did it make you feel, what
Speaker 1: did you what was your reaction? How did you like?
Speaker 6: What?
Speaker 1: What? What were the results of the reflection.
Speaker 3: I was surprised at first, and then I was like, no,
Speaker 3: I gotta I gotta fix this. But then like, I
Speaker 3: have a close friend I talked to him about this.
Speaker 3: She she also told me to like talk to that
Speaker 3: friend to like reflect on this and everything. I talked
Speaker 3: to him about it, and like, I'll I have these issues.
Speaker 3: But if I like obviously again, like I am gonna
Speaker 3: go to therapy. After having this discussion, I realized, like,
Speaker 3: even if like like she does not want to continue
Speaker 3: anything with me, I'm not doing.
Speaker 2: It just for her.
Speaker 3: I think I need to improve these things, like anyway,
Speaker 3: but yeah, other than that, what else didn't make me feel? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I need to improve. I need to go to therapy.
Speaker 3: And I wish she would I I wish she would
Speaker 3: have told me this soon so I could have worked
Speaker 3: on it, because I'm willing to work and improved. Like,
Speaker 3: but if I don't know like what I am doing wrong,
Speaker 3: I can't fix it.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you asked her if you can have another
Speaker 1: chance to improve, and she wasn't buying it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So basically by the end of it. What happened
Speaker 3: is like I told her like, hey, I will improve
Speaker 3: on everything, and he was like ready to end things
Speaker 3: at that time. But then like she's she was like
Speaker 3: surprised by the way I acted. She thought I would
Speaker 3: lash out. I'd be like, how could you do this
Speaker 3: to me? And everything that she was surprised, like how
Speaker 3: like I was recepted to it, and like I took
Speaker 3: the criticism, which is like odd in and of itself,
Speaker 3: because like every conversation we had, I tried to be
Speaker 3: receptive and like understand sometimes I would be defensive. I
Speaker 3: think that was defensive in this conversation too at first,
Speaker 3: but then like as she kept on clarify, I was, no,
Speaker 3: she's right, but yeah, you're surprised about.
Speaker 1: That, okay. So so she said, She's like, okay, I'll
Speaker 1: give you another chance. So she has given you another
Speaker 1: chance to show that you can improve yourself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she So she said she's gonna take this weekend,
Speaker 3: which is she's doing right now. She's gonna a close
Speaker 3: friend of her picked her up. They went to her place,
Speaker 3: and she wants to like have some space and talk
Speaker 3: about this, to have more clarity about this. Then she's
Speaker 3: gonna talk to her therapist about this on Monday. Then
Speaker 3: she's gonna let me know her like decision is on
Speaker 3: this after that.
Speaker 1: Mm hm hmmm. I'm collecting my thoughts about this because
Speaker 1: I've I've been in a similar ish situation where somebody
Speaker 1: is like, what, well, no, just I mean. I feel
Speaker 1: like everyone has been in a relationship has been in
Speaker 1: like a situation at some point where they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: there's this aspect of your existence that like bothers me
Speaker 1: and I would like you to try to change it.
Speaker 1: And you go like, okay, I'm going to make efforts
Speaker 1: to change it, and you think you're doing what you
Speaker 1: think you're doing a good job to change it, and
Speaker 1: you also have to decide the most important, by the way,
Speaker 1: the most important thing of this is like you kind
Speaker 1: of you. You have the same mirror of like which
Speaker 1: is like your part of your partner, and they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: we don't lie on like this aspect of you is
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not happy about it, and you have
Speaker 1: to look at it. And if you look you might
Speaker 1: look at it and go, that's not that big of
Speaker 1: a deal, or you might look at it and be like,
Speaker 1: I know right. I hate that about me too, God,
Speaker 1: I suck. And if it's the second one, then it's
Speaker 1: a pretty easy healthy thing to be like, oh I
Speaker 1: got to improve that. But I'm also I'm also kind
Speaker 1: of there's certain things where I'm like, listen, I can
Speaker 1: do I have kind of like I know my limits
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Okay, I've exhausted my limits of how
Speaker 1: good at this thing I think I can be. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of different because man, in a relationship, there's
Speaker 1: like oh billion different roles and things and desire, like
Speaker 1: so many variables at play, and it's like, listen, I
Speaker 1: can do this that the other thing. I could be this,
Speaker 1: I could be that, I could do that, I could
Speaker 1: be that, I can this the other thing. And you
Speaker 1: have to also have to be able to look at
Speaker 1: this shit and be like okay, So for the OCD thing,
Speaker 1: you have to look at it and be like, can
Speaker 1: I really change that or do I need like do
Speaker 1: I need to just accept that it's part of me?
Speaker 1: And do I have to be like Okay, I accept
Speaker 1: that this is like I've done the best of my ability.
Speaker 1: This is where I'm at. Are you aligned on this?
Speaker 1: And if she goes no I just fucking can't do it.
Speaker 1: And it's be like, okay, all right, this is very
Speaker 1: is fair, which sucks ass.
Speaker 2: But.
Speaker 3: Like, do you think like I guess, I'm like, do
Speaker 3: you think whatever my part like guess it's her if
Speaker 3: she decides to end it at someone in the future,
Speaker 3: do you think it's shared to them? Like whoever my
Speaker 3: partner may be that like I am like doing these
Speaker 3: to them and they're hurting.
Speaker 1: No, well, fair well, affair is a weird word. I
Speaker 1: mean you're be like like you're talking like I'm just
Speaker 1: using as an example, I'm using like watching her do
Speaker 1: the dishes Like, no, it's like fair. I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't like the word fair, but like it like she does.
Speaker 1: If she's in this relationship and she's emotionally exhausted because
Speaker 1: you keep watching her to do the dishes. And then
Speaker 1: you if you if you look at your now listen,
Speaker 1: if you look at yourself, you should probably you should
Speaker 1: probably be able to look at yourself and go it's
Speaker 1: probably not great, and you actually did that in this call.
Speaker 1: Even look at yourself and be like, it's not great
Speaker 1: that I watched my wife do the dishes. I'd like
Speaker 1: to stop doing that, and you can probably find it
Speaker 1: within yourself to stop doing that, you know. And then
Speaker 1: if she sees you, like, if she actually notices that
Speaker 1: it's getting better than great, But if she doesn't and
Speaker 1: she keeps asking and she kind of has hit this
Speaker 1: point where she's like, you haven't improved enough for me,
Speaker 1: then you know, yeah, sure, it's it's yes, fair to
Speaker 1: walk away, I mean fair.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The other thing is I just wish she would have
Speaker 3: told me this earlier, like, rather than it boiling to
Speaker 3: a point where she's got her and exhausted. It just
Speaker 3: sucks that, like it came to a point where she
Speaker 3: felt like that and then she told me mm hmm. Communication. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: communication is very important in relationships.
Speaker 1: Of course, yeah, that does. It is, No, I I
Speaker 1: totally what you mean, and so yeah, you're you're entitled
Speaker 1: to feel that way. And then she's going to go
Speaker 1: off and she's going to be like, well, do I
Speaker 1: want to keep making this work?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: Do I want Do I love this guy enough that
Speaker 1: I want to keep making this work? And if the
Speaker 1: answer is yes, then great, then you can keep making
Speaker 1: a work. But if the answer is no, it's a
Speaker 1: fun it's fucking hard. I mean, I don't want to
Speaker 1: sit here and uh, I don't want to do a
Speaker 1: Calshy esque bet on whether or not go for you again.
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: But if but if she doesn't, like, it's gonna to
Speaker 1: just just so you know, man, if she doesn't I
Speaker 1: it's gonna be like it's fucking fucking fucking devastating. But yeah,
Speaker 1: but it just wasn't. It just wasn't aligned for you,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, it just wasn't. It's just
Speaker 1: it's like I feel like I feel like, yeah, so
Speaker 1: much relationships just about like like a lot, like dude,
Speaker 1: it's weird. Like there's there's the kind of the two
Speaker 1: pillars of like alignment and work and sometimes you just
Speaker 1: have ship of part Also like alignment means a billion
Speaker 1: different things. Alignment also means like what are two people
Speaker 1: willing to put up with? Right? Like what are two
Speaker 1: people willing to put up with? And you have to
Speaker 1: decide what you're willing to put up with? And if
Speaker 1: you're willing and everyone everyone, but every like there's no
Speaker 1: unless if you're amazing and perfect, no relationship has two
Speaker 1: people that don't put up with anything.
Speaker 2: So like yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 1: Like your wife is deciding what she's willing to put
Speaker 1: up with, and she might she might decide that there's
Speaker 1: too much that she doesn't want, and she doesn't. Then
Speaker 1: the the amount that she loves you and wants to
Speaker 1: make it worth is not more than what she's willing
Speaker 1: to put up with. And that just means you're not aligned.
Speaker 1: It doesn't, It doesn't as I don't think you should
Speaker 1: take it as like a like just don't walk away
Speaker 1: thinking you're a broken person or that you use to
Speaker 1: the years incorrectly, you know what I mean. It's just
Speaker 1: it's just alignment and and and there's a certain level
Speaker 1: of alignment that work can just keep overcoming. But then
Speaker 1: there's a certain distance of alignment that work just fucking
Speaker 1: just can't. Yeah, go past and her threshold, Yeah go ahead, I'm.
Speaker 3: Rambling, Yeah, yeah, no, No, you're fine. Like this is
Speaker 3: all like like solid shit like like helps me. I
Speaker 3: think about this sole discal perspective. I appreciate it. But
Speaker 3: so she she is, I'm gonna like she's gonna be
Speaker 3: back here Sunday, h so tomorrow, and then she's gonna
Speaker 3: talk to her therapist on Monday, and I think she's
Speaker 3: gonna reflect on this a little bit, then she's gonna
Speaker 3: give me her answer. But I was thinking on Sunday
Speaker 3: I could sit down with her and I could discuss
Speaker 3: some of the stuff I was discussing with you about,
Speaker 3: like the communication, where like, hey, if you like brought
Speaker 3: this up earlier. I know it's like like hard to
Speaker 3: bring it up over and over again, But if if
Speaker 3: you were able to bring this up earlier, I would
Speaker 3: have and the more precise I would have been able
Speaker 3: to understand, like, hey, these are the things I'm doing wrong,
Speaker 3: rather than it being get to a boiling put like
Speaker 3: I don't know, I guess that some of the stuff,
Speaker 3: Like I was thinking of bringing it up on Sunday
Speaker 3: before she talks to her terrapist, so she could like
Speaker 3: so it's those things with her from like it would
Speaker 3: be the additional points. Do you what do you think
Speaker 3: about that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Of course, I mean that's your that's your piece.
Speaker 1: I mean, give your peace, that's your piece, right.
Speaker 2: Give your piece?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because yeah, because like otherwise it's gonna for
Speaker 3: like it's gonna bother me for a lot, like hate,
Speaker 3: like she's not understand this aspect of listen.
Speaker 1: Totally give your I mean, give your give your piece.
Speaker 1: I mean, you don't want to lash out right, and
Speaker 1: then you're not. I don't even sound like you do.
Speaker 1: You don't even sound like lashing out. Yeah, you don't
Speaker 1: sound like lashing out is even anywhere near your your consciousness.
Speaker 1: So I mean, speak your that's the speak your piece,
Speaker 1: and you have a fair piece.
Speaker 2: And then.
Speaker 1: Be be prepared, be prepared for your peace to not
Speaker 1: be good enough. Be prepared for your peace to not
Speaker 1: be good enough. But also what you just said to
Speaker 1: me where you were like, listen, I just want to
Speaker 1: make sure I went out with as much effort as
Speaker 1: I could so that I could sleep better at night.
Speaker 1: So do that you know? Yeah, was this helpful in
Speaker 1: any way?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 2: It was very helpful.
Speaker 3: Like like I again, like I talked to this with
Speaker 3: my friend, but like I was still contemplating that as
Speaker 3: I was staying up all night. But that was nice
Speaker 3: talking to you about this.
Speaker 1: Okay, what time is it? What you know you're in Texas?
Speaker 1: It's like seven am?
Speaker 2: Did you say? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Huh did you sleep at all?
Speaker 3: Would say, no, I did not. I was just staying.
Speaker 2: Up with my talk.
Speaker 1: This was Tuesday.
Speaker 3: Oh it's it's like it's Saturday right now.
Speaker 1: No, I know, Saturday, but this brug of the breakup
Speaker 1: was Tuesday.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the conversation was on Tuesday, and this is this
Speaker 3: is like the first This was the first night that
Speaker 3: she left, and I'm like in bed alone with my thoughts.
Speaker 1: Oh so you're bed alone with your thoughts.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, Tuesday, he was still here with me, and
Speaker 3: then she left to go at her friends. She's she
Speaker 3: went yesterday to her friends. She's staying today, she'll come
Speaker 3: back tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is your first night in bed without your
Speaker 1: wife in like years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but like I've been to like I've visited friends,
Speaker 3: like I've been, but I didn't have to dread these
Speaker 3: type of talks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, all right, yeah, so of course
Speaker 1: you're up until seven o'clock in the morning. Bro, Do
Speaker 1: you know about melotoning? Do you know about melotonin gummies?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've heard of them. I've never tried to I've
Speaker 3: heard of them.
Speaker 1: All right, So I'm actually I'm giving I'm giving up
Speaker 1: my career as a fake therapist to become a fake psychologist,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna sy should take you should take some
Speaker 1: melaton and gummies? My friends I love. You should take
Speaker 1: some melaton and gummies.
Speaker 3: Okay, I.
Speaker 1: Take no more than to take no more than two.
Speaker 1: They take no more than two melatonin gummies. I don't
Speaker 1: want to be the reason you were those on meloton
Speaker 1: and gummies.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: If I do that, I'm probably gonna, like, you know,
Speaker 3: like another fixation, like what is this? What are the
Speaker 3: side effects? How does this work?
Speaker 1: You actually probably do you actually? Okay? You actually should Okay,
Speaker 1: well you should actually see a psychologist because you might
Speaker 1: need to get medicated for something. I don't know. You
Speaker 1: didn't hear from me, but you should go see a
Speaker 1: person because yeah, I mean because yeah, well yeah, man.
Speaker 1: If you have anxiety, why I'm acting like this whatever,
Speaker 1: there's all this is all personal experience I'm drawing from. Okay,
Speaker 1: If you if you have anxiety and you're haven't and
Speaker 1: you're staying up until seven o'clock in the morning, if
Speaker 1: your anxiety, first of all, if your anxiety that means
Speaker 1: you're walking around being anxious about stupid ship all day
Speaker 1: and your brain's trained for that. And then when you
Speaker 1: actually like and then once and then now you actually
Speaker 1: have something to be anxious about. I mean, it'll drive
Speaker 1: you insane, of course, so you should probably you're probably
Speaker 1: you should go see a psychiatrist, get a little something just.
Speaker 2: To help out. A psychiatrist or yes, the steps you.
Speaker 1: Should see a therapist. And you see a psychiatrist, don't
Speaker 1: tell them that you spoke to a lizard on the
Speaker 1: phone and that's.
Speaker 2: Why you're here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's yeah. Do you you got Oh you've
Speaker 1: said your friends are spread out, all you gotta be around. Also,
Speaker 1: here's another thing is I know we've been on the
Speaker 1: phone for a while, but and I know we're on
Speaker 1: the phone for a while. I know I say this
Speaker 1: in literally every single episode of the podcast, but like
Speaker 1: you should you should find a community of other people
Speaker 1: to be around so that you're not alone with your thoughts.
Speaker 1: That's a horrible way to live. You should find find
Speaker 1: some of the people.
Speaker 3: Texas.
Speaker 1: You're in Texas, Texas. Texas has all kinds of ship.
Speaker 1: Do some ship?
Speaker 3: It does?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But see, the thing is like Kurr and I we
Speaker 3: were we live in one city, and we were thinking
Speaker 3: of moving to another city to get a house over there.
Speaker 3: And I still want to move to that city anyway,
Speaker 3: regardless of the outcome. Uh So, That's why I was like,
Speaker 3: it's a few more months, like should I try building
Speaker 3: community here or should I just go there like a
Speaker 3: band over there? And I gave up so much. I
Speaker 3: don't want to give out more. But it's another city
Speaker 3: in Texas, one of the big cities.
Speaker 1: It's one of Okay, it's all like I mean, by
Speaker 1: the way you you specific you specifying that you work
Speaker 1: a big tech job in Austin does not give out
Speaker 1: as much information about you as you think it does.
Speaker 1: But anyway, okay, yeah, okay, whatever, Austin. I'm gonna pretend
Speaker 1: it's Austin, Austin, Austin, Houston, ends all the billion things
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, yeah, you'll I'm not gonna I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna hit you with the you'll be fine, man, but
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna hit you. I'm not gonna hit you
Speaker 1: with the you'll be fine, but I will hit you
Speaker 1: with the I see a path forward for you positively that,
Speaker 1: if followed, may potentially lead to you being fine.
Speaker 2: I hopefully too.
Speaker 3: I just like me right now, I'm like, I really
Speaker 3: want this to work, but I also know if I
Speaker 3: push it too much, it's actually unhealthy. So I'll time
Speaker 3: my best and see what it happened.
Speaker 1: All right, man, is there anything else you wus say?
Speaker 1: The people in the computer before we go, get bless Hey,
Speaker 1: thank you man, I appreciate you. Have a good one,
Speaker 1: and get some get some get some either get some
Speaker 1: sleep or get some coffee and then try again it
Speaker 1: and you.
Speaker 3: Know I'll probably find Backno. Yeah, all right, take care, good.
Speaker 1: Luck, brother, take care. It's a nice guy. Hm hmm.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think we can identify if we
Speaker 1: can identify him just based on the fact that he
Speaker 1: works a big tech job in Austin. What's going on last?
Speaker 1: And they have they have guitars every city in the planet,
Speaker 1: I actually know. I've I used to be a big
Speaker 1: every place is the same person. I don't think that's true.
Speaker 1: I think different places are different, they have different they
Speaker 1: have stuff. You know what I would say, Actually, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go on record
Speaker 1: on this podcast. I'm gonna say I know I talk
Speaker 1: a lot about traveling. I'm gonna actually say travel. Uh,
Speaker 1: travel narrows down your horizons. You know, if you've not
Speaker 1: I actually you if you've never been anywhere, then you
Speaker 1: get to live in the beautiful imagination of what could be.
Speaker 1: You know, don't shout, don't travel and shatter your illusions
Speaker 1: of what could be by learning what is. What is
Speaker 1: will never be as good as what can be. So
Speaker 1: just stick with what could be. Just sit in your
Speaker 1: room all day, not doing anything, dreaming of what could be,
Speaker 1: and never shatter it by learning what is? Hello there,
Speaker 1: what's going on? What's up?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 1: What's your name? My name is Greg, Greg, Greg Turkington,
Speaker 1: Greg Giraldo, Rest in peace, Greg. Give me a Greg Greg?
Speaker 3: Me Uh?
Speaker 2: I thought there's a Greg Daniels somewhere out there.
Speaker 1: Greg Daniels is the creator of the Office. Now, fucking,
Speaker 1: fucking finally someone names a fucking Greg. Greg Daniels. Do
Speaker 1: you have another one? Bonus bonus. If you don't have
Speaker 1: another Greg, that's okay. You got another Greg.
Speaker 5: My dad, My dad's Greg.
Speaker 1: That's perfect Greg. Greg. Do you have another human being?
Speaker 2: Name?
Speaker 1: Anyone doesn't have to be a Greg. Just name someone, Bob, Bob,
Speaker 1: It should be someone. It could just be like a name.
Speaker 5: Bob Orton.
Speaker 1: There we go. Who's Bob?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: He is a so I'm a w fan. He is
Speaker 5: an older wrestler. He is the father of Randy Orton.
Speaker 2: If you know who that is.
Speaker 1: Bob Orton Junior. Bob Orton Junior, American professional retired wrestler,
Speaker 1: the son of Bob Orton Senior. Born in nineteen twenty
Speaker 1: nine in Kansas City, Missouri. Wow, well, okay, let's do
Speaker 1: a phone Let's let's do the actual thing. What's uh,
Speaker 1: what's your What's what's up? Greg? How's life?
Speaker 5: It's good man. I'm uh. I'm sitting at work right
Speaker 5: now on a on a Saturday morning. I am I've
Speaker 5: got all my work done for the day, so I'm
Speaker 5: just chilling out. How I was locked down?
Speaker 1: For you, mister Geck, life is actually going Let's go
Speaker 1: okay for me, I feel good. I'm trying to do
Speaker 1: more and I never found I never feel like I'm
Speaker 1: doing enough. I was gonna do more, so I'm doing. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I kind of feel the same way. It's you get
Speaker 5: kind of complacent in life.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's fine, Yeah, you can't do that.
Speaker 5: Sometimes you get complacent. That's that's how I felt here recently.
Speaker 1: Why have you been feeling complacent?
Speaker 5: I've been at the same job for since twenty eighteen.
Speaker 5: I mean, this is the only job I've ever had
Speaker 5: outside of high school, and it's uh, I'm trying to
Speaker 5: get my so I'm trying to drive a truck and uh,
Speaker 5: I've got a disability and the state's make an hour
Speaker 5: for me, and so it's kind of like it's just
Speaker 5: pushing me back even further and further, and uh, I
Speaker 5: just feel like I'm going to be stuck here forever.
Speaker 1: You know, hm, hmmm, what would you want to do
Speaker 1: were you if you were not stuck there?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: Honestly, ideally I would like to work in it, but
Speaker 5: just for I guess.
Speaker 3: The time constraints to.
Speaker 5: Get a better paying job quicker, I'd probably drive a truck.
Speaker 5: My dad owns a business, he owns a trucking company,
Speaker 5: and so I would like to take that over someday
Speaker 5: and who knows, hopefully retire early.
Speaker 1: Nice man. So okay. So typically the whole thing of like,
Speaker 1: oh I should be doing more comes from some thing
Speaker 1: of like comparing who you are now to who you
Speaker 1: could be, like your kind of dream version of yourself, right,
Speaker 1: Like who is that? What does that look like?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: Honestly, it's somebody who makes more money. I know. It's
Speaker 5: probably such a cliche thing to say, but it's like
Speaker 5: money really does make the world go around, you know
Speaker 5: what I mean. It's like I'm twenty six and I
Speaker 5: unfortunately I still live with my parents. I save money,
Speaker 5: you know, and it's not a bad situation. I love
Speaker 5: my parents, love them to death. I pay bills. I'm
Speaker 5: not just living rent free, you know. But you know,
Speaker 5: I'd like to it one point here in the near future,
Speaker 5: live on my own. I feel like I am in that,
Speaker 5: uh that stage of lifehere. I'm ready to be on
Speaker 5: my own.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: And which job did you say you work now?
Speaker 3: I basically do inventory for a flooring company.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmm hmm.
Speaker 1: What what would you try to do to make more money?
Speaker 5: Honestly, I should go to school, I uh, I was.
Speaker 5: I was in school at one point for for cybersecurity.
Speaker 5: And while at work, I fell and I hurt my leg.
Speaker 5: I just located my knee and tore some ligaments, and
Speaker 5: uh that that just kind of sent me back, and
Speaker 5: I was I was never really able to restart school,
Speaker 5: and so now I'm trying to, uh, as far as
Speaker 5: plans go, should be getting my CDLs in May. That way,
Speaker 5: I can drive a truck and start making a little
Speaker 5: more a little more money.
Speaker 1: Cool. Cool, all right, so you have a plan.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, all right, Yeah, I'm I'm not just plan
Speaker 5: less thankfully.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have this thing too where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I also like every day I'm like, fuck, I wish
Speaker 1: I was like getting more out of my days, you know.
Speaker 1: But I'm always but there's always like a but I
Speaker 1: always I feel like like I'm like a snail. But
Speaker 1: we're yeah, we're getting there, you know, as long as
Speaker 1: it's like, as long as there's a vague direction and
Speaker 1: I know that that things are in the works of
Speaker 1: they're vaguely we're vaguely moving forward in life somehow, then
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay. It's when it's when I'm like, huh,
Speaker 1: if I repeat the same day over and over again,
Speaker 1: that it's this day I just had, I'm going to
Speaker 1: be in the same place kind of thing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Yeah, it's it's I think it's one of those
Speaker 5: situations where you kind of have to learn from the
Speaker 5: things that you do in life. Yeah, it's like, you know,
Speaker 5: you make a decision, you know, it not getting you
Speaker 5: where you need to go. You can't make that decision again.
Speaker 5: You need to make the better choice the next time.
Speaker 5: You know, it's easier said than done, but it's ultimately
Speaker 5: it is what needs to happen in my opinion.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Do you have a good relationship with your parents that
Speaker 1: you live with.
Speaker 2: I do. I have a very good relationship with them,
Speaker 2: all right.
Speaker 1: So it's not like I love my parents. Yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so it's did they do they drive you crazy?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: Not really, man, I mean it's cool. I said. I'm like,
Speaker 5: at the end of the day, I don't have an
Speaker 5: issue living home. It's just a situation of I'm growing
Speaker 5: into being my own adult, you know, and it's like
Speaker 5: I want to I would like to start my own life,
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, the way towards him, No, totally. I don't
Speaker 1: think there's any shame in doing it, you know, quote
Speaker 1: unquote late I mean, well, I mean it's a last shame.
Speaker 1: I think. Also, like in most four in a lot
Speaker 1: of like foreign countries, it's like not like a lot
Speaker 1: of what we have in America of like when you
Speaker 1: turn eighteen, you're on your own, Like it's that's not
Speaker 1: how a lot of places operate. And it's becoming harder
Speaker 1: and harder in America for people to operate like that.
Speaker 1: I mean, there is still, like I feel like there
Speaker 1: is still opportunity in America for you know, dudes like
Speaker 1: you who are like I want to, you know, achieve
Speaker 1: that goal. And you know, I'm working towards it and
Speaker 1: this that and the other way, right, But it's like
Speaker 1: it's understandably harder than I think it once was.
Speaker 5: I would agree. I mean, it's a lot of things.
Speaker 5: Like I said, it comes down to money everything.
Speaker 4: Nowadays, it definitely live you know, yeah, yeah, it's crazy
Speaker 4: fucking expensive.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, And the I guess my big thing is
Speaker 5: I don't I don't really want to live with roommates,
Speaker 5: and so that doesn't that one doesn't help the case
Speaker 5: any and so in my opinion, yeah, and in my opinion,
Speaker 5: the American dream, you know, it's not to it's not
Speaker 5: to live with the roommate until you go and get married. Now,
Speaker 5: there's nothing wrong with it, and I wouldn't be necessarily
Speaker 5: opposed to it. I mean, I've got a friend who's
Speaker 5: offered several times to let.
Speaker 2: Me move in with him.
Speaker 5: Really, I mean, it's my best friend, you know, Yeah, yeah, wait,
Speaker 5: just because yeah.
Speaker 1: God good, Yeah, I'll let you finish first. I'll ask
Speaker 1: my multiple questions.
Speaker 5: I was saying, mainly just because he also he doesn't
Speaker 5: think that he knows my family dynamic and everything. He
Speaker 5: knows that he knows knows what's good. But he also
Speaker 5: he knows that I'm ready to get out on my own,
Speaker 5: you know. So he's off, he's all, he's got his
Speaker 5: own place. He's lived in an apartment for a three
Speaker 5: four years now, and he's offered to let me move in.
Speaker 1: So okay, two things. What is what is your because
Speaker 1: you're you're correct and saying that there is no like like,
Speaker 1: what is your American dream? What's your idea of that
Speaker 1: for you?
Speaker 5: For me, I want to be an entrepreneur. I don't
Speaker 5: know if it's necessarily an entrepreneur would be the right
Speaker 5: word for me. I would like to take over my
Speaker 5: dad's business.
Speaker 1: You know, it's fuck yeah, it's awesome.
Speaker 5: It's one of those things where it's it's a it's
Speaker 5: a good footing that's already already running and he's I mean,
Speaker 5: he's probably about ten years to retirement. Cool, and I
Speaker 5: would like to take over that business and kind of
Speaker 5: get myself to the point where I could retire even
Speaker 5: earlier than he's able to, because I don't want to
Speaker 5: work till the day I die, you know what I mean. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I'd like to be able to take time off, live
Speaker 5: with my family, or see my family, live with him.
Speaker 5: Just live in the moment, you know, not have to
Speaker 5: worry about what Bill is going to get paid the
Speaker 5: next day. Do I got to go to work in
Speaker 5: a couple of days.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Now I'm not worried about you sound like
Speaker 1: a smart you sound I don't. We've only spoken for
Speaker 1: ten minutes. I'm not When I do this to people,
Speaker 1: I hope people know I'm not like. I don't just
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like just say shit that I
Speaker 1: don't mean. I'm getting a sense from you that you're
Speaker 1: a smart dude with integrity. So I think you'll be okay.
Speaker 5: I like to I like to think, so, I like
Speaker 5: to think. So M so I appreciate that, I really do.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, well, so I guess the question now is like,
Speaker 1: because you're gonna go to school, It's like I don't
Speaker 1: know what your dad, what's your I don't know what
Speaker 1: your dad's businesses, But it's like, what can you what
Speaker 1: can you best do in the meantime to prepare yourself
Speaker 1: to be able to run it better.
Speaker 5: I think, first off, I need to So it's a
Speaker 5: trucking company, and first off, I need to, I guess,
Speaker 5: learn the basics of tral things. I mean I need to.
Speaker 5: I need to go through my classes with that, and
Speaker 5: I need to get a little bit of experience on
Speaker 5: the road I need. And then after once I kind
Speaker 5: of get the basics down, I need to work with
Speaker 5: him a little bit and learn some of the back ends.
Speaker 2: Of the business. I need to.
Speaker 5: I need to learn how much it costs, do you
Speaker 5: know up keep a truck? Because I mean it's it's
Speaker 5: not cheap. I mean I've seen it before, it it
Speaker 5: ain't cheap. And then ideally, honestly, once I'm doing something
Speaker 5: like that, I would like to get some sort of
Speaker 5: degree in business of some sort. So even if even
Speaker 5: if it doesn't work out with my with my dad's company,
Speaker 5: for whatever reason that may be, I still have something
Speaker 5: else I can fall back on where I don't just
Speaker 5: have to sit in a truck for for ten to
Speaker 5: twelve hours a day.
Speaker 1: You know, So why are you okay, may dog? This
Speaker 1: is my other question? Why are you so opposed to roommates.
Speaker 5: H Honestly, it's so if it's somebody in the right situation,
Speaker 5: I wouldn't hate it, you know, like if it's somebody
Speaker 5: that I'm friends with.
Speaker 2: And everything, and now if I if.
Speaker 5: Something happened, I got kicked out tomorrow and I had
Speaker 5: to go to live with a roommate, I wouldn't hate it.
Speaker 5: But sing with me, I just I would like to
Speaker 5: live on my own if I'm not married or if
Speaker 5: I'm not dating anybody, you know, I would like to
Speaker 5: have a place that I can call my own. I
Speaker 5: don't have to, I guess tiptoe around other people, you know.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 5: It I may not, it may not make the most sense.
Speaker 5: I don't know, but I guess in my head, I
Speaker 5: would just I would prefer to be able to have
Speaker 5: my own place, you know, to truly make it my own.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm hm hm hmm. Do you get lonely? Do
Speaker 1: you have friends? Like it sounds like do you spend
Speaker 1: a lot of time with your family? Because I guess
Speaker 1: I would only be worried that, you like, it's kind
Speaker 1: of it could be kind of lonely, just like living
Speaker 1: by yourself. If you don't have any other thing that
Speaker 1: you're doing regularly regularly.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I've got so I've got friends and everything,
Speaker 5: and like my best friend, I've I went. I mean,
Speaker 5: I've known us this elementary school. We worked the same
Speaker 5: job here for five years and then I'm at my
Speaker 5: current job and we live as of right now, we
Speaker 5: live less than a mile apart from each other. And
Speaker 5: every weekend we would we go out and do stuff together.
Speaker 5: And every weekend that we're off of work, we uh,
Speaker 5: we go out, we do stuff together. And then I
Speaker 5: play I play PC. So I play Counterstruck, and so
Speaker 5: I've got friends one of my two of my best friends,
Speaker 5: one lives in Iowa, when one lives in Las Vegas,
Speaker 5: and I mean we we talk every day on Discord
Speaker 5: and everything. Yeah, yeah while playing playing Counterstruck And.
Speaker 1: Okay, cool, no, okay, I got you. You seem like, uh,
Speaker 1: you seem like you're chilling on that front.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's it's not too big of a concern
Speaker 3: for me. I don't believe, bro.
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna be fine. Man, But do what's
Speaker 1: your name again?
Speaker 2: Name's Greg?
Speaker 1: Greg? Oh? Fuck? Oh good? Wait, you're the fucking you
Speaker 1: at the beginning of that. Sorry, I'm I'm in saying
Speaker 1: at the beginning of this phone call, you named some
Speaker 1: Gregs and then I asked you the name person and
Speaker 1: named a person. Yep, you have do you what do?
Speaker 1: You're the only person who's been able to do that successfully?
Speaker 1: Do you know that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I yeah, I've been listening to podcast and I want
Speaker 5: you and I've been ready to never I always always
Speaker 5: hear you say that question, and people always feel it. Dude,
Speaker 5: you have the soft I've been waiting for my time.
Speaker 1: Greg. I'm a dude, I'm a Greg. I'm a Greg fan.
Speaker 1: Now I'm rooting for Greg. You're f you got Greg,
Speaker 1: you have you got, you got the salt, you got
Speaker 1: the sauce. Brother, You've got the saw. Not worried about you.
Speaker 1: I'm not worried about you. Is there is there anything
Speaker 1: else you want to say to the folks of the
Speaker 1: computer before we go?
Speaker 2: Uh No, but I do have one for you, please?
Speaker 5: So you got your coming up?
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 5: I don't know if it's too late to add shows,
Speaker 5: but Chattooga, Tennessee, you can, you can have to.
Speaker 1: I just want to. I'm like, you know what, listen
Speaker 1: if I was like, listen, if I was like Ultrastar Power,
Speaker 1: I'd fucking go everywhere. But I'm like, you know, I
Speaker 1: gotta kind of it's got. It's a thing where I'm like,
Speaker 1: i'd rather I'd rather just like do one show in
Speaker 1: Tennessee and just have the folks who want to come
Speaker 1: drive like it's just easier and it's just like that's
Speaker 1: the Tennessee gig, you know. I hope, I hope you'll
Speaker 1: be there, if you know, if you want to if
Speaker 1: you want to come, if you want to come, if
Speaker 1: you want to come, send me a send an email,
Speaker 1: send an email to uh send me able to therapy,
Speaker 1: getcko mail at gmail dot com, and give me some
Speaker 1: give me some proof that it's great. I'll I'll because
Speaker 1: I don't something if some random people might message me
Speaker 1: being like Greg, but I'll be able to tell who
Speaker 1: the real Greg is. I'll be able to tell the realre.
Speaker 1: So just send me, send me any I'll I'll give you.
Speaker 1: I'll give you a ticket if you want to come.
Speaker 5: Oh sweet, yeah, I'll probably come to the one Atlanta.
Speaker 1: I'm post tokay, perfect, all right, I'll give you. I'll
Speaker 1: give your ticket either either one. Let me know, send
Speaker 1: send me an email.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. Brother, Yes, sir, thank you.
Speaker 1: For sure, for sure. Many have a good one, and uh,
Speaker 1: I'll I'll see you in Atlanta hopefully if you want.
Speaker 1: All right, take care, bye bye. Don't email me if
Speaker 1: pretending like you're Greg, if you're not fucking Greg, I
Speaker 1: will be able. I can tell. I can tell that shit.
Speaker 1: I just don't do it. I don't you know what.
Speaker 1: I have actually pretty nice fans who listen to the show.
Speaker 1: I actually don't think anyone's going to do that anyway.
Speaker 1: That's the podcast that was therapy. Get Goo, please go.
Speaker 1: It is true. I am going on tour. I'm going
Speaker 1: to thirty cities across America for the fourth time in
Speaker 1: a row. I love tour and I love running around.
Speaker 1: I love doing these shows, doing the Gecko Therapy. I
Speaker 1: got some material planned, I got some stories that I'll
Speaker 1: be telling about my travels through the universe, and uh,
Speaker 1: it'll be fun, man, it'll be a good time. Go
Speaker 1: to therapy geckotour dot com. Go to therapy geckotour dot
Speaker 1: com and uh get tickets or check the link in
Speaker 1: the episode description. I put it at the top of
Speaker 1: every episode. To go to therapy. Echo tour dot Com.
Speaker 1: I just did the for I talked about this already,
Speaker 1: but I did the first show in Tokyo a few
Speaker 1: weeks ago. That was really fucking fun. We're doing San
Speaker 1: Diego and Los Angeles soon as part of the Netflix
Speaker 1: is a Joke Festival. That'll be fun. And uh, it's
Speaker 1: always fun to keep going and not it's fun not
Speaker 1: to kill yourself. It's fun to keep going experiencing life,
Speaker 1: doing things. That's it. Keep trying, keep trying, Folks.
Speaker 4: On the line every night everything kid goes down his eye.
Speaker 1: Who's teaching you to how to live your life? But
Speaker 1: he's not really an expert.