1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: Calling all my sweetish to the forefront. I'm your host, 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: christ and this is the Keep It Positive, Sweetie Show. 3 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 1: Our guest this week has been in our minds, but 4 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:16,080 Speaker 1: after the Netflix series Forever, she is forever seeming it 5 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,959 Speaker 1: in our hearts. Kiss Finley, please give a very warm 6 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,239 Speaker 1: welcome to Karen Pittman. Karen, thank you so much. I'm 7 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 1: sorry for all the technical difficulties this morning. No, thank 8 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: you for your patience. You look absolutely stunning, So Bai, 9 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:29,440 Speaker 1: thank you. 10 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 2: It's a drive in trying so hard to get to 11 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 2: keep it positive, sweetie, do you know what I mean. 12 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna try so hard to get out here. I know. 13 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,239 Speaker 1: I remember we met each other about two years ago 14 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 1: at Essence Swimming of Hollywood and you were in the 15 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: line with Chantal and I had just started watching the 16 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 1: morning show and I was like, oh my goodness. I 17 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 1: was like, it's Karen Pittman and Chantala introduced us and 18 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,279 Speaker 1: I was so excited to meet you and you are 19 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: just the first time I watched the show and you 20 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 1: came across the screen, I was like, who is this woman? 21 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,959 Speaker 1: You literally radiated through the screen. You really do. Oh. 22 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 2: I'm so glad it's a really good show. It's a 23 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:11,039 Speaker 2: good platform for the stories that I like to tell. 24 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 2: And you know how important it is to surround yourself 25 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 2: with people who really want to do the thing you 26 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,279 Speaker 2: want to do. It also will run at the pace 27 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 2: right run, and these folks are keeping up pace that 28 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 2: I like to tell stories at. And it's a real 29 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,319 Speaker 2: gift to be on the show. Excited for you to 30 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 2: see season four because you. 31 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:38,119 Speaker 1: Cannot wait, so excited, cannot wait. What was it an 32 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 1: early age that really drove you to the arts? It 33 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: made you want to pursue acting and singing. 34 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 2: I think, really it was it was a strong desire 35 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 2: to self express. I don't think it was any nobody 36 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 2: in my family had this desire, had this need as 37 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 2: much as I did. And I was one of those 38 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 2: young girls with big feelings, like big feelings like no 39 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 2: one knew how to help me process any of the 40 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 2: stuff that I was going through. No one knew how 41 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 2: to talk me down, no one knew how to how 42 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 2: to get me out of my moods. And it was 43 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 2: really about going into that bad space as a child 44 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 2: and into my imagination. It was imagination work, and that's 45 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 2: some of the most important work I think that children 46 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,640 Speaker 2: do when they just have time to play. 47 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: You know. 48 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 2: Part of the challenge with technology and devices is that 49 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,919 Speaker 2: children don't experience those that other side and the other 50 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,399 Speaker 2: emotional side that we try to keep them away from. 51 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 2: Happiness and oh everyone's joyful, and actually there's there's aspects 52 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 2: to life that you contend with emotionally that are a 53 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 2: little dark. Yeah, And as a child, you build up 54 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,920 Speaker 2: emotional resilience, right, And for me, I did that at 55 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 2: a very early age. I was just born with a 56 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 2: lot of big feelings. So singing and acting was my 57 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 2: It was my way of processing some of it. And 58 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,639 Speaker 2: my parents just left me alone to go do it. 59 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: I love it. Were you an only child, No, I have. 60 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:22,359 Speaker 2: Four other siblings and there they could be actors, do 61 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 2: you know what I mean? They're not, yeah, because they 62 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 2: have their own drama. But it was a big family. 63 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 2: It was a family of seven. 64 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:30,799 Speaker 1: Wow. 65 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And we're all still close. But have you 66 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 2: know our paths I've diverged and my brother, my eldest 67 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 2: sister and my brother lived in Nashville. Uh yeah, yeah, family. 68 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: My sister just got her doctor. She also works in 69 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: the hill field as well. And yeah, oh wow, she 70 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: went to Heme Fog super Smart, so I'm sure you're 71 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 1: familiar with him. 72 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 2: Fuck, wow, are you kidding me? Coming? 73 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, that's where she went to high school. 74 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 2: I was talking to somebody the other day in Nationally. 75 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 2: They're like, yeah, White's Creek. I was like, White Creak. 76 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,039 Speaker 2: Do you remember White's Creek High School? Yes, such a 77 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 2: long time ago. 78 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, yes, it's such a 79 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 1: small world. I love that your parents allowed you to 80 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,280 Speaker 1: be free because a lot of times, especially when in 81 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 1: black culture, they have such so much structure because we've 82 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,599 Speaker 1: had to write. So the fact that your parents allows 83 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 1: you to be free and look who you've become because 84 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,040 Speaker 1: of that freedom is so beautiful. I love that, and 85 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 1: the way you're able to express yourself. Yes, so most 86 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: recently you captivated our screens with Forever. It is a 87 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: culture phenomenon, Like we absolutely a changer. 88 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:58,799 Speaker 2: So listen, it changed so so much that things changed. 89 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 2: It's never been to part of anything like that, huge. 90 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:05,919 Speaker 1: Huge, huge, so good, like I was glued to the 91 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: screen like next next episode. It was so good. Mar 92 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,359 Speaker 1: had talked about you and her being friends for a 93 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 1: long time. What was that process like? Because I know 94 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,840 Speaker 1: when writers are writing, there's characters, are people that come 95 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: to their mind's as they're writing, like, wait, this is 96 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: Karen Pittman. Was that one of those moments where Mark 97 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: called and said, hey girl, I got a roll for 98 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 1: you or is this something you had to actually audition for? 99 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 2: No, I did not audition for it, and and we well, 100 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 2: Mar and I came back into each other's lives in 101 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:42,279 Speaker 2: a real way. Yeah, in two thousand and nine, and 102 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:48,160 Speaker 2: I was pregnant with my daughter, and we started spending 103 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 2: time together as mothers. And you know, I'd always known 104 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 2: that she's a writer. She's doing extraordinary television shows every 105 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 2: decades of times centering black women, and I just admired 106 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 2: her and supported her as a friend. Of course, I'm 107 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 2: an actor, but I've just never thought about you know, Crystal, 108 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 2: you get to you get to a point in your 109 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 2: life when you understand that you don't need to actually 110 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 2: access someone for their resources, like your relationships don't need 111 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 2: to be transactions. 112 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: I wish everybody knew that. 113 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, some people in my life are just there. 114 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:35,040 Speaker 2: They're CEOs, they're doing things. You know, is there synergy 115 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 2: between what I do and their brand or between what 116 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,479 Speaker 2: I do and their writing and what I do, and 117 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:48,040 Speaker 2: they're directing probably, but it's really just about supporting that friendship, 118 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 2: supporting that relationship and being there for that person. And 119 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,720 Speaker 2: so for many many years that was me and Mara, 120 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 2: and we went on a girls trip to go see 121 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 2: Usher in Vegas, the very very last show. You have 122 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 2: a friend in Usher's publicist mm hmm. So he got 123 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:11,080 Speaker 2: us some tickets and you know, we were hey, you know, 124 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 2: we were trying to do it and uh and uh, 125 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 2: we were doing it all and we woke up and 126 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 2: just hung out girlfriends. 127 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: Yes, you need that. That's so important. 128 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 2: We needed it so badly. I didn't even realize it, 129 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 2: but the spear was, you know, had just opened. Like 130 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 2: we were just vibing, just vibing. And next morning went 131 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 2: to have breakfast and she said, you know, I'm doing 132 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 2: this thing. I'm doing this character. She had seen me 133 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:43,800 Speaker 2: in a play that a sister named Dominique Marissa had 134 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 2: written years ago called Pipeline, and it was about a 135 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 2: mother who was grappling with her daughter, her son maybe 136 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 2: ending up in the school to prison Pipeline, which you 137 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 2: know is so serious, very serious and a real thing 138 00:07:56,440 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 2: in our in our community in this country. And and 139 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 2: so she loved that role. And that was really the 140 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 2: last time I had done a mother role that had 141 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 2: depth and nuance and layers written by obviously a black woman. 142 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 2: And but I'd been offered other things in between, you know, 143 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 2: but not with the same nuances, not with the same 144 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 2: you know. Care So and Maara uh, you know, asked 145 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 2: me about, Hey, would you have some time to look 146 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 2: at this role. I was like, yeah, sure, girl, let 147 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 2: me see what you got around and so it's not 148 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 2: playing around you mar Brock, right, that let me see 149 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 2: that job. So so yeah, and it just was synergistically, 150 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 2: it just worked in so many ways. Dawn is like 151 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 2: that mom that we all know. But this just recently 152 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 2: came into herself. Do you know. We we we couldn't 153 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 2: have seen her like ten years ago, right believed that 154 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 2: she existed well. With the visibility of an African American 155 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:08,599 Speaker 2: President and an African American First Lady, and the visibility 156 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 2: of people like Stacy Abrams and Tony Morrison and Oprah Winfrey, 157 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 2: we suddenly understand that there are black women who have 158 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 2: incredible wisdom, who represent feminism in many different ways, but 159 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:32,960 Speaker 2: are very, very wealthy yes, they've financial independence for themselves 160 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 2: and been able to lift their families at the same time, 161 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,959 Speaker 2: we really do believe that person exists in the world. 162 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 2: So this is me throwing my hat in the ring 163 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 2: of what a ambitious and well intentioned and ferocious, wealthy 164 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 2: mother looks like in the black community. Who's grounded above 165 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 2: a community? You know, this is my take on it. 166 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 2: As an artist, I know so many women like Don. 167 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:02,679 Speaker 2: My mother was a version of Don. She aspired to 168 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 2: be done in many ways. Yes, in that way. 169 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:10,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh no, you captivated Don. It was it was 170 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: perfect and like there was no other person to play 171 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,920 Speaker 1: that role. You were the perfect fit for it and 172 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,680 Speaker 1: you and would like I loved the whole family dynamic. 173 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:22,080 Speaker 1: Actually got to interview your son on the show justin 174 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 1: when was it BT, Michael? Yes, for yeah, the BT 175 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 1: Media House, Yeah, Michael Cook Virginia. I got to introduce him, 176 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,320 Speaker 1: I interview him, and he was such a light and 177 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: he talked about how amazing it was working with the 178 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 1: both of you, and working with Lara, and and just 179 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: the experience that he took from that coming from Texas 180 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: and just kind of looking around like do I belong here? 181 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: And had all rallied around him and made sure that 182 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: he really was comfortable in that space, because I know 183 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 1: how Dante can be sitting I don't know for sure, 184 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: but I can imagine how daunting it would be sitting 185 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 1: in between you and would and be like, what is 186 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 1: going on right now? 187 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah? The great part about Michael is that he's 188 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 2: smart enough to know that he doesn't know everything. You know, 189 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 2: is that one of those Yeah, he's smart enough to 190 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:19,320 Speaker 2: know that he doesn't know everything, and he's open to 191 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,199 Speaker 2: other people's wisdom. But also, I mean me and Wood 192 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 2: were simply like tapping to the wisdom, yeah, that you 193 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 2: already have inside of you. And he is justin so 194 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 2: many ways. He's believable because he is justing and he's 195 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:38,079 Speaker 2: really just starting. He's such an incredible artist, and I 196 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 2: think you guys are going to see him evolved in 197 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 2: this beautiful way over his career. I can't wait to 198 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 2: see what happens. This character was a perfect fit for him, perfect. 199 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 1: No, it definitely. I love the way Mars showed the 200 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,679 Speaker 1: black community in different dynamics. He talked about you being 201 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,719 Speaker 1: the wealthy family, but then you go to the not 202 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 1: so wealthy part of town. And it still shows the 203 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: beautiful family dynamic and the different characters, even Love's dad 204 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 1: about how he was a little out there, but it 205 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 1: shows all these different characters and how even in the craziness, 206 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 1: we're all so much alikened not. And I wanted to 207 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 1: ask you when it came to playing that part, what 208 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,199 Speaker 1: were some of your real life experiences that you pulled 209 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: from to really to really captivate and create your character 210 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: the way you did. 211 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:35,680 Speaker 2: Real life experiences. Well, I have a son who's entering 212 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 2: college this year, and so you know, yeah, so to 213 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:43,320 Speaker 2: have the anxiety and the drama, yes of trying to 214 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 2: get your son to finish his college application, to formulate 215 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,439 Speaker 2: a plan and then stick with it. You know when 216 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,839 Speaker 2: John says when he says, well, you just got it 217 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 2: all planned out, and she's like, no, no, we have 218 00:12:56,040 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 2: a plan. That was definitely taken from my my life. 219 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 2: My son looked at my kids looked at forever with me, okay, 220 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 2: and they were like, because they never looked at any 221 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 2: of my stuff. They really wanted to see it. And 222 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 2: I got the series during Black History Month and February 223 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 2: of Life. You got y'all got it in May, I 224 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:19,320 Speaker 2: could watch it in February, right, and they watched it 225 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 2: with me and they were like, they wanted to binge 226 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 2: watch the whole thing, one after the other, after the 227 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 2: other after the other. And they were like, Mom, we've 228 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 2: had that conversation. My son said, we had that conversation too. 229 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 2: So that was definitely something that I took that that 230 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 2: love and affection and real sense of respect and admiration, 231 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 2: which is is a very important form of love. I 232 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 2: think people underestimate the importance of admiration for someone in 233 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:56,719 Speaker 2: their life, you admire them deeply. Is the same experience 234 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,839 Speaker 2: I have with my partner Ade, my fiance, and I 235 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 2: brought that to my relationship with Wood, just this real 236 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 2: respect for him. Yes, and uh, that's something to show 237 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 2: your children. 238 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:15,200 Speaker 1: Absolutely, No, for sure. He talked about actually getting to 239 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,559 Speaker 1: watch this is the first show your children actually watched 240 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:19,920 Speaker 1: with you. How did that feel as a mother to 241 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,040 Speaker 1: sit down and watch the show that your children wanted 242 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 1: to binge watch? 243 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 2: It was great? I mean they didn't. I thought, are 244 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 2: they gonna first? Are they gonna like it? And as 245 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 2: an actor, you know, you're picking yourself up, You're like, 246 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 2: why did I wear that in messy? Oh my god? 247 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 2: But then they you know, what ended up happening happening 248 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:48,520 Speaker 2: and resonating with me was this sense of them understanding, 249 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 2: you know, what I'm doing where I am when I'm 250 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 2: not with them, they know the only only thing as 251 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 2: important to them is this life. I live a purpose 252 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 2: hopefully on doing something in the world and sharing myself 253 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:09,360 Speaker 2: and actualizing and self realizing. But so, uh, you know, okay, 254 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 2: so this is what you do. Yeah, faith for you though, 255 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 2: I think, because all they see is like, you know, 256 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 2: the Instagram, the social media work, you know, all that 257 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 2: kind of stuff, But there is a lot of work 258 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,120 Speaker 2: that goes into it, and I think they it sort 259 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 2: of suddenly dawned on them that oh, this is this 260 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 2: is actually good, this is why you do all this. 261 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, when it comes to being a mother and balancing 262 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:42,480 Speaker 1: your career and balancing motherhood, what are some of the 263 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 1: principles and things that you put in a place so 264 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: that you can balance it? 265 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 2: Well, well, you know, Crystal, this is my perspective on 266 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 2: having it all. It's it's a juggle. You can't have 267 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 2: one ball in your hand for very long before you 268 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 2: throw the other one out right, right, So that's that's 269 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 2: my perspective. On it, and it's about prioritizing. But I 270 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 2: think one of the things I share with actually all 271 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 2: the women that I work with, because I have the 272 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 2: great privilege of working with Mara and this a woman led, 273 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 2: a woman centric sort of production and set. And then 274 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,200 Speaker 2: I had this great privilege of honor working with Mimi 275 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,800 Speaker 2: and Jane and Breeze and Charlotte on the Morning Show. 276 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:28,200 Speaker 2: And at the bottom of all of these choices, it 277 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 2: is this very intentional decision to do it with love, 278 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 2: to do it with care, do it in a thoughtful way. 279 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 2: And there's nothing you know, flip about how these choices 280 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 2: are made and how we live and you know what 281 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 2: we do, the shows, the episodes, you know that we 282 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 2: work on the things. That is a very intentional space. 283 00:16:54,720 --> 00:17:00,880 Speaker 2: And I found that that's very important with family, who's 284 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,680 Speaker 2: around my kids, who comes into my home. You know, 285 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,200 Speaker 2: I saw Sinners. You don't invite everybody into your home. 286 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 1: Come on, I heard Ryan. 287 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 2: I said, yeah, Ryan, that's exactly right. 288 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,159 Speaker 1: Yes, everybody could not come into your house. 289 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 3: Nobody can come in here, no, thank you. 290 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,879 Speaker 2: So all of that is just very intentional. That's one 291 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 2: of the things that I put in place into. 292 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's amazing. How about you, Well, I'm not a mom, 293 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 1: so really, for me, it's balancing. No, I know that. 294 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 2: I mean, but you have family right around the. 295 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 1: Family, what's your Yeah, Honestly, I plan vacations with them. 296 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 1: When I have downtime, I make sure I bring everybody 297 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,679 Speaker 1: out so we can have some time together and just 298 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,680 Speaker 1: be present. You know. For me, I'm always traveling, I'm 299 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 1: always working, and that time, especially as I get older, 300 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,439 Speaker 1: and I realized that my time with my parents is 301 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: fast quickly dwindling down. It's like I need to make 302 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,639 Speaker 1: the most of these moments where I have them with me, 303 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,639 Speaker 1: so I enjoy I call them my kids. Now I'm like, 304 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: all right, kiddos, what are we doing next? So I 305 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,119 Speaker 1: love spending time with my parents, and I have siblings 306 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,680 Speaker 1: and they have children, so spending time with them is 307 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 1: a lot of fun. For Labor Day, we just took 308 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 1: a we did like a yacht day in Miami, and 309 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 1: I took the kids to the ice cream Museum and 310 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 1: we did a beach day so they could build sand castles. 311 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 1: So I do all the things that I would do 312 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:33,639 Speaker 1: my children. Yeah, and they bring them into my world 313 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 1: and share the fruits of my labor honestly. So yeah, yeah, 314 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 1: that's what I do, and yeah, it's a good time. 315 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 1: You talked about playing the role in Pipeline, and I 316 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,880 Speaker 1: want to know because that was such an emotionally intense 317 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,919 Speaker 1: role for me. When I'm playing Fatima, it takes me 318 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 1: a little while to come out of that character. How 319 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 1: long does it take you to come out of characters, 320 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 1: especially something like this in Pipeline. 321 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 2: Pipeline was hard. That was that was eight shows a week, 322 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:16,679 Speaker 2: eight shows a week, six days a week. You know, 323 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,600 Speaker 2: I can't. I couldn't what I'm doing a play. I can't. 324 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 2: I can't get it. Yeah, I just don't. And I 325 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,359 Speaker 2: try not to take too many roles like that where 326 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 2: you bring them home. My kids were very young at 327 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:32,680 Speaker 2: the time, so it wasn't as as tough on them, 328 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 2: but you know, the same level of anxiety that don has, 329 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:41,240 Speaker 2: but much more A lot of things were manifesting in 330 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 2: her in Naya's Son, the characters saying Naya and Naya's 331 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:49,680 Speaker 2: Son that were really much more urgent for her. But 332 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 2: at the end of what I will say is at 333 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 2: the end of every season with a character, no matter 334 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,360 Speaker 2: if I'm working on television, no matter how how long 335 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 2: or short the season is. I'm doing a character, I'll 336 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 2: write them a letter at the end. Yeah, with a 337 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:10,120 Speaker 2: team or whatever you're working on, I write, I write 338 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,399 Speaker 2: a letter to the character at the end of the season. 339 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:16,640 Speaker 2: And I because we share this space, we share a body. Yeah, 340 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,400 Speaker 2: and that's a real that's a world in and of itself. 341 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. 342 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,840 Speaker 2: So I write a letter, and I think of all 343 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:27,119 Speaker 2: the experiences that we've had, and I sort of, you know, 344 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 2: in my own way, sort of share what I felt, 345 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 2: what impacted me, and you know, say, I'm going to 346 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 2: say goodbye. Now we're going to see each other again, 347 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 2: and I'm sure they will whatever, but great job and 348 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 2: talk too soon and all that kind of stuff. It's 349 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:44,080 Speaker 2: really helpful. 350 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,719 Speaker 1: I can imagine that being helpful. I'm going to take 351 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,880 Speaker 1: that on. I like that idea. Yes, I never thought 352 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 1: about it, because it's hard. 353 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 2: Enough to kind of say goodbye to you. Guys have 354 00:20:54,480 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 2: a very intense schedule, right, so you run the you 355 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,480 Speaker 2: run the gamut of emotions, right, and you really do 356 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 2: have to take care of yourself. 357 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I do. I'm telling you, Like, when I 358 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:12,800 Speaker 1: come out of filming, I literally feel like I'm schizophrenic. 359 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,000 Speaker 1: Like I feel like I've lost my mind because it's 360 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,720 Speaker 1: so many different ranges of emotions in two weeks where 361 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, my body doesn't know the difference. My body 362 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,720 Speaker 1: doesn't know that I'm acting. It's like, do we need 363 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,880 Speaker 1: to go admit yourself into a psych word, Like what's 364 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 1: happening right now? 365 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,800 Speaker 2: You do? You need to have a therapist? 366 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,359 Speaker 3: If you're an actor, you don't have a therapist. 367 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:32,760 Speaker 2: That's a hard thing, you know what I mean? Like 368 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 2: you absolutely because you do have to run through those 369 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:39,439 Speaker 2: actual emotions and those things live in your body. I mean, 370 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,119 Speaker 2: people talk a lot about acting is not a mental thing. 371 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 2: Acting is really really physical, emotional. There's a psychological and 372 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:51,640 Speaker 2: aesthetic experience. And so yeah, yeah, I certainly have that experience. 373 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 2: And in my shows, we don't run through our work 374 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,639 Speaker 2: in a sort of at a sort of marathon pace, right, 375 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:04,040 Speaker 2: very rather a sprints run through it at a sprint. 376 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 2: We run it an a marathon. So you're constantly serving 377 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,920 Speaker 2: energy and not letting it all out. Like I love 378 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 2: the thing about the morning shows that were or even 379 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 2: Forever's it. Human beings don't change that much. So the 380 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 2: conditions upon which you actually let it out have to 381 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,720 Speaker 2: be a very extreme and that maybe happens once in 382 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:32,119 Speaker 2: a season, not over episodes. Yeah, some time, do you 383 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,440 Speaker 2: know right? Absolutely? Yes? 384 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,960 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, no, for sure. You had mentioned in 385 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 1: an interview with Feeding America that it takes a lot 386 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,160 Speaker 1: of strength to be a single mom, and it takes 387 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,440 Speaker 1: even more strength and resilience to be a single parent 388 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,399 Speaker 1: while facing hunger and trying your hardest of food on 389 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,639 Speaker 1: the table for your kids. The biggest obstacle was overcoming 390 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:56,320 Speaker 1: the shame I felt. And in this kipt community, I 391 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,280 Speaker 1: know there are single parents and we are living in 392 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:03,439 Speaker 1: a day where the economy is the unemployment rates are 393 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,720 Speaker 1: an all time high, but the cost of living is 394 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 1: not going down. How did you overcome the shame that 395 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,400 Speaker 1: you felt during that time? And why do you feel 396 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 1: like you felt shame? You didn't put yourself in that predicament. 397 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,160 Speaker 1: Why do you think you felt that well? 398 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:22,080 Speaker 2: I mean, I absolutely felt like there was some part 399 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,639 Speaker 2: of it that I needed to be accountable for. I 400 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 2: needed to be responsible for so many things affect your 401 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 2: quality of life, including the relationships the people you have 402 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,119 Speaker 2: in it. And I had a lot of people in 403 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 2: my life that were undermining my ability to move forward, 404 00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:46,959 Speaker 2: and I had to I had to, you know, detach 405 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:47,440 Speaker 2: from them. 406 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, in a way. 407 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 2: And I understood that because those people had my attention 408 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,240 Speaker 2: and I was paying them a lot of attention. And 409 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 2: by paying, i'm you know what I mean, like I 410 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:08,520 Speaker 2: had to spend, you know, and I didn't. I needed 411 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 2: to be focused on it. So in the areas where 412 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,359 Speaker 2: I needed to be responsible, I had to look at that, 413 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 2: and I had some shame around it. The shame is 414 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:22,359 Speaker 2: one of those interesting things shame the word should derive from, shame, 415 00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:27,160 Speaker 2: should have done. You know, It's an interesting thing. As 416 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,159 Speaker 2: a human being in that condition, you can either use 417 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 2: it to motivate you or you can use it to 418 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:38,560 Speaker 2: stay down. And my parents were manifestors, you know. My 419 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:43,920 Speaker 2: parents raised in Jim Crow, So they had to think 420 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 2: very strategically about how they were going to live in 421 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,960 Speaker 2: the world and still be able to be successful and 422 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 2: still be joyful and raise children that were joyful. 423 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 1: Right. 424 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 2: Well, I come from that stock, that's in my DNA, 425 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:04,200 Speaker 2: that's genetic for me. So the way that I dealt 426 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:08,680 Speaker 2: with my feeling of shame and the stigma was really 427 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,600 Speaker 2: just to be reminded of where I came from and 428 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 2: from whom I belonged to or to whom I belong 429 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 2: and to really deliberate and think about my parents and 430 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:25,640 Speaker 2: what they had been through is one of those times 431 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,960 Speaker 2: when you think to your parents, like they had five kids, Yeah, 432 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 2: I have two, and I am I am not doing 433 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:35,119 Speaker 2: what I need to do with my children, and how 434 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 2: do I make that? Okay, I made some mistakes. To 435 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 2: be in the human condition his to make mistakes. Absolutely, 436 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,200 Speaker 2: I do feel like part of being a human is failing, 437 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,200 Speaker 2: is accepting failure and not as the worst possible thing 438 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 2: to happen, but as a function of just being human. 439 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 2: So I think really it was for me to do 440 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,639 Speaker 2: the work of writing my path, yeah, which of course correct, 441 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 2: And that was reaching out to Feeding America who had 442 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,920 Speaker 2: a you know, who had a church that I could 443 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,200 Speaker 2: go to and get fresh fruits and vegetables, not just 444 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 2: canned you know, right. But the reason why I like 445 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 2: Feeding America is because they do. You know, so many 446 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,159 Speaker 2: of these urban areas are food deserts. You have to 447 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 2: go all on the bus and go there and go 448 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:30,680 Speaker 2: over there to get actually a fresh vegetables. It's really 449 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 2: really tough, you know, it's easier to get frozen or 450 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 2: canned or but it's not always the healthiest thing for 451 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 2: you and your family. And you want to raise healthy children. 452 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 2: A sickly child is that, you know, just so exhausting. Yeah, disheartening, 453 00:26:55,560 --> 00:27:00,680 Speaker 2: you know, nothing worse than not and having a child 454 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:05,200 Speaker 2: that's unwell like you know, so so really it was 455 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 2: about handling my own personal business, but also you know, 456 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:12,399 Speaker 2: about letting people come and help me out, saying I 457 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 2: need help, I need it. 458 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 1: That's so hard for people to ask for help nowadays, 459 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 1: It's so hard. 460 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,640 Speaker 2: It is. My children were great motivators for me, though 461 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,119 Speaker 2: I also thought we wouldn't want them to be in 462 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 2: the world. And yeah, so that's kind of how I 463 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,280 Speaker 2: got over it. But I also feel everyone has their 464 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 2: own journey, Crystal. Part of why I love this podcast 465 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,520 Speaker 2: because it is about keeping it positive, you know what 466 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 2: I mean? Yeah, Land and Ditch only want to wave 467 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 2: it up, you know what I mean. Yes, you can't 468 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,520 Speaker 2: go no further, you know. So that's that's one of 469 00:27:55,600 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 2: the things that I you know, I genuinely believe I 470 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 2: manifested some extraordinary things in my life when I had 471 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,680 Speaker 2: no choice but to put out my hand hand and 472 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,359 Speaker 2: that's her help. That's right. 473 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, No, for sure. You talked about how the loss 474 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 1: of your mom in twenty sixteen, how it gave you 475 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 1: a new perspective on what it meant to be a mother. 476 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:27,160 Speaker 1: How did that shift your perspective in that moment, Well, 477 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:27,920 Speaker 1: many things. 478 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 2: I mean, towards the end of my mother's life, she 479 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,399 Speaker 2: you know, let me know that she hadn't done everything 480 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:36,960 Speaker 2: she wanted to do. She had not, she had not 481 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 2: she had not been able to do everything she wanted 482 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 2: to do, and she could feel the decline, you know, 483 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 2: she could feel it was, you know, she was going 484 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 2: to have to leave this world. And I just remember thinking, 485 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 2: I don't I don't want to. I don't want to 486 00:28:55,640 --> 00:29:00,440 Speaker 2: be in that position. Yeah, I don't want my She 487 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 2: would say, like, I had these children, I really wanted 488 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,720 Speaker 2: to be a good mother. I wanted to do the 489 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:11,520 Speaker 2: right thing by them. And I understood that poll but 490 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 2: I also saw that her choice made her feel small. 491 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:18,000 Speaker 1: And my mother was. 492 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 2: Enormous force of life. She was just this force of life. 493 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,920 Speaker 2: M H. Happens when your life force goes in the 494 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 2: direction not of your own life right right so, or 495 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 2: your own journey, your own purpose, whether your purpose you 496 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 2: feel like your individual purpose is. So I learned from 497 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 2: my mother to stay focused on what I needed to, 498 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,200 Speaker 2: to be very deliberate about what I needed to do, 499 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 2: speaking to this spiritual advisor that I have, and you know, 500 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 2: because I still have sort of a deep conflict with that. 501 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,800 Speaker 2: Just maybe yesterday I was talking to her about day before, 502 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 2: yes I was talking to her about it. She said, 503 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,520 Speaker 2: I don't want you to make the assumption that your 504 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 2: mother isn't completing the things that she wanted to do 505 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,920 Speaker 2: in this life. Where she is now. You know, her 506 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 2: her purpose and her energy and her force, her life 507 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 2: work goes on and some of that goes on in you. 508 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,880 Speaker 2: And that gave me great solace to think that maybe 509 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,480 Speaker 2: she didn't complete it here while she was with me, 510 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,880 Speaker 2: but she's completely where she is now, you know what 511 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:24,400 Speaker 2: I mean. Oh well, that's such a gift. Wow, thank 512 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 2: you for that advice, you know, because it means we're 513 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,880 Speaker 2: never wasting time, you know, we're never losing time. We're 514 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 2: going to finish everything that we need to. So and 515 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 2: my mother was an extraordinary gift of a parent. I mean, 516 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,160 Speaker 2: she really did put us first for so long in 517 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:49,960 Speaker 2: her life, so in pragmatic ways but also in very purposeful, 518 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,280 Speaker 2: strategic ways. To both my parents were scientists. I don't 519 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,920 Speaker 2: know if I told no they were both. They were 520 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 2: both scientists, but such artists in their work as scientists 521 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 2: and educators and just so smart and intelligent. So my 522 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,960 Speaker 2: mother very much gave me the representation of woman who's 523 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,280 Speaker 2: not only beautiful but extraordinarily intelligent. I understood I needed 524 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:17,120 Speaker 2: both needed to be both of those things in her watching. 525 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 1: Her so yea yeah, wow, Well I know she is 526 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 1: smiling down on you, for sure. And I love that 527 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:28,600 Speaker 1: your spiritual guys told you that you are living out 528 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 1: some of the things that she probably wanted to do. 529 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 1: So I'm glad that you're sure that. Yeah, that is 530 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,760 Speaker 1: so beautiful. I lost my mother at a very young age, 531 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,040 Speaker 1: and I always wonder what she wanted to really, do 532 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:43,479 Speaker 1: you know if I'm making her proud? So I think 533 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:44,720 Speaker 1: that's every daughter's hope. 534 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 2: Yes, for sure, Yeah, I think we're both sort of 535 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:55,040 Speaker 2: living that out right. Yes, eight years since my mother died, 536 00:31:55,160 --> 00:32:00,400 Speaker 2: my career has you know, shot up like crazy, Yeah, 537 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,720 Speaker 2: the last eight years, And I know that has to 538 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:06,480 Speaker 2: be her life force in me and around me, right 539 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:12,200 Speaker 2: and pushing me forward in any way, So something that 540 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,280 Speaker 2: as a mother and daughter, we probably couldn't have done 541 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,920 Speaker 2: if she were still here, that level of energy and support. 542 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 2: You know, I sometimes sometimes other daughters sometimes fighting with 543 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:28,920 Speaker 2: each other. But so I'm gifted to have had the 544 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 2: mother that I had. Yeah. 545 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 1: Absolutely, What are some things that you have sewn into 546 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 1: your own daughter when it comes to doing everything that 547 00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:40,680 Speaker 1: she wants to do living fully? And I'm sure you're 548 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 1: an example of that to her every single day, But 549 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:43,680 Speaker 1: what are some things that you tell her? 550 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,840 Speaker 2: Well, my daughter's different, Crystal, She's so different from me. Really, 551 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,640 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I would never have met anyone like 552 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:57,320 Speaker 2: Lena had I not born Lena into the world, like 553 00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:00,480 Speaker 2: I would never I would never have met her. So 554 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,880 Speaker 2: she would never she would never want to mess around 555 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,160 Speaker 2: with me, you know what I mean. She would never 556 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,480 Speaker 2: want to I don't mess with her is what she 557 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,880 Speaker 2: would Probably she just would never want to have anything 558 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:13,440 Speaker 2: to what do I teach my daughter? 559 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,840 Speaker 1: What was the question again, Yeah, what are some things 560 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:18,640 Speaker 1: that you sewn into your daughter when it comes to 561 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:20,920 Speaker 1: living her life fully? And I was saying that you 562 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,160 Speaker 1: probably are a great example for her in that every 563 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:23,800 Speaker 1: single day. 564 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:27,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. The reason why I brought that up is 565 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 2: because she's so different. So what I give Lena has 566 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,160 Speaker 2: to be very specific. It doesn't hear everything I say, 567 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:38,600 Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? Yeah? 568 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 1: You know, where is this? And do that? 569 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:42,760 Speaker 2: Said? 570 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:43,240 Speaker 1: And that and the other. 571 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,520 Speaker 2: She goes, I ain't like that, so you know, I 572 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 2: don't do that or whatever she says. So I have 573 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 2: to be very very strategic about what I tell her. 574 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,120 Speaker 2: Most of the things that I talked to Lena about 575 00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:04,200 Speaker 2: are around confidence out how you and view your choices 576 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:11,000 Speaker 2: with authenticity, creating a life that looks like yours and 577 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:16,160 Speaker 2: not like somebody else's. Oh yeah, you know, I tell her, 578 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,320 Speaker 2: you want your life. You don't want somebody else's. You 579 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:24,000 Speaker 2: want the life that it is meant right for you. 580 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:30,920 Speaker 2: And so that's a that's I give my children a 581 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:35,120 Speaker 2: lot of agency, a lot of power. Their opinions matter 582 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:36,839 Speaker 2: a lot to me. Now they don't have a lot 583 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,479 Speaker 2: of experience. My daughter's only been in the world fourteen years, 584 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:45,600 Speaker 2: but I make sure that she knows she knows herself best, 585 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:52,440 Speaker 2: you know, also make sure that she she loves herself. 586 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:58,840 Speaker 2: You know. Yeah, you're going to be with Lena for 587 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,799 Speaker 2: the rest of your life. I say to her, make 588 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 2: sure you like her, you take care, you know what 589 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,799 Speaker 2: I mean, Like, that's your that's your bood, that's your 590 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,400 Speaker 2: you know, a boom, like you need to you need 591 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:14,719 Speaker 2: to make sure that you're taking care of her and 592 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:17,920 Speaker 2: that you're having fun because you're gonna be with her 593 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:22,800 Speaker 2: for rest of your life. Yes, so all those things 594 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:26,719 Speaker 2: that you know are important. 595 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 1: Absolutely, My daughter's a hergo it is her birthday? Has 596 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:33,359 Speaker 1: it passed yet or is it coming up? 597 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:35,120 Speaker 2: It's next week. 598 00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 1: It's absolutely now. You once said that motherhood is overrated. 599 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:51,279 Speaker 1: What did you mean by that? 600 00:35:54,600 --> 00:36:01,200 Speaker 2: Pregnancy, labor, delivery, all the things. Crazy crazy, It's a 601 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,759 Speaker 2: lot of pain, a lot of discomfort, a lot of 602 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,879 Speaker 2: physic it's a I mean, I think that we as 603 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:10,120 Speaker 2: women are sold that, you know, we are sold this 604 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:14,719 Speaker 2: thing that being a mother is the penultimate experience for 605 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,080 Speaker 2: the old rather penultimate is the ultimate experience for a 606 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:22,279 Speaker 2: woman maybe behind being a wife, Do you know what 607 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:27,840 Speaker 2: I mean? And I I've had both experiences, and I 608 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,799 Speaker 2: strongly disagree. There are women in the world who don't 609 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:36,440 Speaker 2: have children, and I wouldn't say they're missing out, you know, 610 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,600 Speaker 2: I would say there are many areas where you can 611 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:43,839 Speaker 2: nurture and support and love and care in the same 612 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:47,600 Speaker 2: way that I do for my children. And the number 613 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,879 Speaker 2: one area that women can do it is to raise 614 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:55,000 Speaker 2: themselves up, is to support themselves, is to you know, 615 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 2: be their own mother. Yeah, and their own father in 616 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:03,680 Speaker 2: many ways, you know. So so yeah, that's what I 617 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:07,240 Speaker 2: meant by that. I mean it is it has been rewarding. 618 00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:11,200 Speaker 2: Like I did really need children to grow up, and 619 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 2: I remember being a child wanting you know, a young girl, 620 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:19,640 Speaker 2: wanting children even more than I wanted a husband. I 621 00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:28,480 Speaker 2: wanted children. But but yeah, but I think that you know, 622 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:32,520 Speaker 2: you don't necessarily free Maybe you don't need to freeze 623 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:35,160 Speaker 2: your eggs, you know, maybe you don't need to you know, 624 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 2: you know, stay with that guy because you really do 625 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,879 Speaker 2: want to have kids. And do you feel like that's 626 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,200 Speaker 2: a biological clock is ticking, do you know what I mean? 627 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,120 Speaker 2: Maybe you don't need to do that. Maybe there are 628 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:53,719 Speaker 2: other options, do you know? So physically having a child, 629 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:59,080 Speaker 2: I think it's very very difficult, and raising children is 630 00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:03,279 Speaker 2: you know, next love. But having said that, I have 631 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,120 Speaker 2: a very good friend of mine who's pregnant right now, 632 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,600 Speaker 2: and she's listening to this. I want to know it's 633 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:13,160 Speaker 2: worth it. Keep going. She's thirty seven weeks long and 634 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,960 Speaker 2: she's about to I have rebated and she's listened to this. 635 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:17,360 Speaker 4: I want her to know you could do it, and 636 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,839 Speaker 4: it's going to be great. It's fun it's a great time. 637 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:22,200 Speaker 4: It's celebrated right. 638 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,920 Speaker 1: That it's funny. But you really just spoke to me 639 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:30,640 Speaker 1: because I am forty two and I just opened up 640 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:34,319 Speaker 1: about going to the fertility doctor. I haven't had anything. Yeah, yeah, 641 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:38,160 Speaker 1: And you're right. Sometimes we stay in relationships because we 642 00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:40,879 Speaker 1: feel like our biological clock is ticking. There are times 643 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,040 Speaker 1: where we feel like we're missing out on something, and 644 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:47,320 Speaker 1: society has put this great emphasis on marriage and having children. 645 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 1: And thank you because even just in what you just 646 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,759 Speaker 1: said gave me some peace about where I am in 647 00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,719 Speaker 1: my life. And things are great, you know, and I 648 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,640 Speaker 1: don't have to add pressure on myself. 649 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,960 Speaker 2: No, I don't think so there's you know, Jennifer has 650 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:07,280 Speaker 2: said this and said this. You know, I am nurtured 651 00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,239 Speaker 2: and am a mother too many children. None of them 652 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,560 Speaker 2: are you know, necessarily my own, but obviously not her own. 653 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:18,840 Speaker 2: But but she is nurtured and supported and that is 654 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:24,040 Speaker 2: a kind of mother in the world. I mean, and 655 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,399 Speaker 2: I mean there's also if you there are so many 656 00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,440 Speaker 2: children that need love and support. It is if you're 657 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:33,279 Speaker 2: not able to bi biologically have a child. It's not 658 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,959 Speaker 2: as if you can have a child in their life. 659 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,319 Speaker 2: Now listen, I love a baby. I love a baby. Yeah, 660 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,520 Speaker 2: me too, like to right right now? 661 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:45,799 Speaker 1: I love keep up. 662 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:50,600 Speaker 3: Every time I hear my kids, my kids will uh 663 00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,080 Speaker 3: if I hear a baby crying my kids, my kids 664 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:53,640 Speaker 3: know already. 665 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,239 Speaker 2: I'm going to get that crying baby away from my 666 00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:58,120 Speaker 2: mother because she hates the crying baby. 667 00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:02,960 Speaker 3: She cannot take my nervous then he takes that baby. Okay, 668 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 3: I've got but I can take care of that baby. 669 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,799 Speaker 2: Let me have that. It's very on the train. If 670 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:12,080 Speaker 2: I'm in a restaurant, Mom, are you okay, I'm fine. 671 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:13,959 Speaker 2: I'm just gonna stay in my chair. I'm not gonna 672 00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:14,440 Speaker 2: go get. 673 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:15,760 Speaker 1: The baby, going to get the baby? 674 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Like I can make crying. 675 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,399 Speaker 1: It's okay, let me get to that's my special power. 676 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,520 Speaker 1: That is so funny because my nephew, he was a crier. 677 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:31,680 Speaker 1: And I remember the first time they came to visit 678 00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:33,840 Speaker 1: me while when he was like not even one he 679 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:36,040 Speaker 1: was just a couple of months old, and I was like, 680 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:39,160 Speaker 1: he can sleep with me, and that baby cried. I 681 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:41,759 Speaker 1: was like, why did I tell him he can sleep 682 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:46,400 Speaker 1: in here? But they were like okay. I was like, 683 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,440 Speaker 1: but finally when he went to sleep, it was just like, oh, 684 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,399 Speaker 1: he's so precious. I'm like, he's precious when he's quiet. 685 00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:57,160 Speaker 2: But you know, he's so cute when he's being good. 686 00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yeah. 687 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:02,759 Speaker 2: How's that journey been for you? 688 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:03,080 Speaker 1: Though? 689 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:07,400 Speaker 2: Your as your you have lots of nieces and neshews, 690 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:12,920 Speaker 2: and you're do you feel do you feel less pressure 691 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:16,480 Speaker 2: now at forty two then you felt maybe in your 692 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:20,520 Speaker 2: thirties or do you have it just resolved that you 693 00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:23,800 Speaker 2: were going to be on this journey in a singular 694 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,120 Speaker 2: kind of way and navigated as a woman just by 695 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:30,279 Speaker 2: just I'm just navigating this conversation as a woman. Yeah. 696 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:36,640 Speaker 1: No, that's so good hearing. Honestly, I was so just 697 00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,640 Speaker 1: focused on my career, focus on life and enjoying life 698 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,160 Speaker 1: as it was happening, being present. And then I started 699 00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:48,000 Speaker 1: dating someone who really wants kids, so now it's like, oh, okay, 700 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,320 Speaker 1: so this is a thing, you know, And before I 701 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:54,239 Speaker 1: was in faced with that, like kind of ultimatum, you know. 702 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:56,439 Speaker 1: And I think it was one of those things where 703 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,440 Speaker 1: as the conversation kept coming up, I said, well, let 704 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:03,680 Speaker 1: me just go see what's going on. How many follicles 705 00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:09,799 Speaker 1: I have and everything? So that, yeah, oh the thing, 706 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,600 Speaker 1: it was so much. I just learned about my ovaries 707 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,520 Speaker 1: and uterus that I had no idea about. You know, 708 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:23,040 Speaker 1: when you go do the do the the consultation. So yeah, 709 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:24,759 Speaker 1: you had a lot of work and then you had 710 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,880 Speaker 1: that follow up appointment where they're like, okay, so here's 711 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,440 Speaker 1: the reality. If you're gonna do it, you gotta do 712 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:30,759 Speaker 1: it now. 713 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,040 Speaker 2: And I'm like, you better hurry up, you better run 714 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:34,680 Speaker 2: on out this office and do it right now. 715 00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:39,719 Speaker 1: Right now. Let's know. I was like, oh lord. So 716 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:44,279 Speaker 1: I was like, let me just pray about it. And 717 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,640 Speaker 1: it's a long distance relationship. So after I prayed about it, 718 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:48,719 Speaker 1: I said, you know what, I'm not going to put 719 00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:50,480 Speaker 1: the pressure on myself. If this is meant to be, 720 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,800 Speaker 1: it's going to be, and I'm going to continue to 721 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:56,839 Speaker 1: be present, continue to enjoy life. And yeah, that's where 722 00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,320 Speaker 1: I am with it. But it is a lot and 723 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,560 Speaker 1: it can be daunting when you go get that follow 724 00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:03,200 Speaker 1: up meeting with the doctor and they're like, all right, 725 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,279 Speaker 1: so this is your reality. What are you going to do? 726 00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:08,319 Speaker 1: And you have seventy two hours to figure it out? 727 00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:10,759 Speaker 1: Not literally right, but literally right? 728 00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:15,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but actually literally there's I love that. First 729 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:16,840 Speaker 2: of all, I love that we're talking about this because 730 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,799 Speaker 2: it's like such a such a real conversation. One has 731 00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,320 Speaker 2: the pressure that the world puts on you to actually 732 00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,399 Speaker 2: be a mother and be a life and then I'm 733 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,879 Speaker 2: sure that happens when you're actually in a relationship where 734 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:33,919 Speaker 2: you really want to live in that space. I also 735 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,480 Speaker 2: think the other thing that happens is that a relationship 736 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,680 Speaker 2: changes so much when a child enter its, when you 737 00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:42,399 Speaker 2: bring another person into it, So you really do want 738 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:46,200 Speaker 2: to be thoughtful, intentional. You know, it's going to change 739 00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:50,280 Speaker 2: the entire dynamic of how you live with that person, 740 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,120 Speaker 2: how you see them. And my partner is also a 741 00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:57,560 Speaker 2: long distance he has two children, and I am, you know, 742 00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:59,880 Speaker 2: going to be kind of a step mom, and I 743 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:02,520 Speaker 2: actually having to think about what kind of step mom 744 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:03,040 Speaker 2: I want to be. 745 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:05,080 Speaker 1: Wow. 746 00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:10,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, okay, I didn't see myself going in 747 00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,040 Speaker 2: this direction, but here we are. Yeah. 748 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,839 Speaker 1: Wow, that's amazing. You're going to be an incredible step mom. 749 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:21,239 Speaker 1: I know you will. Yeah, no, you will, you will. 750 00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:24,560 Speaker 1: How is long distance for you? Like, is it in 751 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:27,480 Speaker 1: the States long distance or like overseas on distance? For me, 752 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:28,200 Speaker 1: it's overseas now. 753 00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:32,160 Speaker 2: He lives in New York and in LA but it's 754 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:38,520 Speaker 2: such a wide five and a half another country. Basically, 755 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:44,120 Speaker 2: it's like another country. It really is. I mean, it's 756 00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,800 Speaker 2: one of the words deuce is. I hate it, Like 757 00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,160 Speaker 2: I'm not a long distance if I didn't love that 758 00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:53,440 Speaker 2: man so much. It's crazy. 759 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:58,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, especially that time change, like you're up 760 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:00,840 Speaker 1: late and he's early. It's like. 761 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:06,719 Speaker 2: It's the worst. And he's he's got he's got this 762 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,880 Speaker 2: schedule where he has to be in the bed for 763 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:14,480 Speaker 2: an hour and I'm like, you're like you know, yeah, yes, yes, 764 00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:18,160 Speaker 2: and you know, three hours. It's interesting because he's three 765 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,640 Speaker 2: hours ahead of me, so I'm always feeling like when 766 00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:23,000 Speaker 2: I wake up, I'm behind him, like I'm trying to 767 00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:27,439 Speaker 2: catch up. Yeah, weird, that's weird in a relationship. And yeah, 768 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:34,640 Speaker 2: uh but you know, gosh, it's actually works really well 769 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,600 Speaker 2: because I am so busy. It actually works out really 770 00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:39,799 Speaker 2: well because I have such a busy life. 771 00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:40,960 Speaker 1: Yes, So. 772 00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:44,920 Speaker 2: If you were around me all the time, I think 773 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,279 Speaker 2: we would get on each other's nurse. 774 00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:48,720 Speaker 1: See that's my problem. 775 00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:53,120 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, you would get on each other's nurse. Yeah. 776 00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,080 Speaker 1: And when you're used to your space, it's just one 777 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:56,760 Speaker 1: of those things where you like your space. 778 00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,880 Speaker 2: So yeah. For example, he was here with me, Sean 779 00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:06,160 Speaker 2: you know Sean Harris. He was here doing my hair, 780 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:10,080 Speaker 2: my makeup and hairstyles. Marcia Hamilton was here, and he 781 00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:15,960 Speaker 2: just came in like what what you know? He looked 782 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:16,799 Speaker 2: it at first he thought it. 783 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,200 Speaker 4: Was really cute, but now he's like, this is like 784 00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,799 Speaker 4: and I'm like, this is my life, this is real 785 00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:24,520 Speaker 4: here and this is a real thing. But you know, 786 00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,920 Speaker 4: when he comes in, it's like this is completely taken 787 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,920 Speaker 4: over the entire and I'm like, yeah, this is what 788 00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:32,000 Speaker 4: I do, do you know? 789 00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:38,640 Speaker 2: And that's always yeah, yeah, I know exactly what you mean. 790 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:43,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, say yeah, what is this? 791 00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:47,520 Speaker 2: Yes? Yes, yes, yes, yes, but no it is It's great. 792 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:50,120 Speaker 2: We're I'm Malley in love with him. You know, I'm 793 00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,000 Speaker 2: not going anywhere he proposed, And. 794 00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,359 Speaker 1: Now would you move Kim? 795 00:46:57,719 --> 00:46:59,880 Speaker 2: I He lives in New York. I actually moved away 796 00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:04,360 Speaker 2: from New York. We met when I was about to 797 00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:09,400 Speaker 2: move to l A, He's coming there, which is a great, great, 798 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,120 Speaker 2: a gift that works. 799 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,239 Speaker 1: I love that for both of you, and I'm gonna 800 00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:19,080 Speaker 1: pray that nobody gets on anybody's nerves. Yeah, well, good luck, 801 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:28,560 Speaker 1: all right, right exactly, Kim. Before we get out of here, 802 00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:32,399 Speaker 1: I want to play a quick game with you. It's 803 00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:36,080 Speaker 1: called real rapid fire. So I'm just gonna ask you 804 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:37,640 Speaker 1: a question and you're gonna give me the first thing 805 00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:41,960 Speaker 1: that comes to your mind. Okay, I got okay, perfect. 806 00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,440 Speaker 1: It says your favorite screenplay of all time. 807 00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:46,880 Speaker 2: Casino. 808 00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:51,400 Speaker 1: Oh that's a good one. Favorite character you've played. 809 00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:01,160 Speaker 2: This Sorry right now a change, but right now it's going. 810 00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,200 Speaker 1: Yes, favorite playwrights. 811 00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:07,680 Speaker 2: Line for sure. 812 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,880 Speaker 1: Yes, favorite way to spend your day off when you 813 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:13,920 Speaker 1: do get a day off. 814 00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:22,080 Speaker 2: With with my children, with Adi and Kyblos Lucas. 815 00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,759 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, come on, Calo, Saint Lucas. I love and 816 00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,200 Speaker 1: that's not far from you. So that's perfect now, it's 817 00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:32,719 Speaker 1: so yes, I love that favorite guilty pleasure TV show 818 00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:46,360 Speaker 1: that's our girl. And then your favorite quote of mantra 819 00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:47,040 Speaker 1: to live by? 820 00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:55,719 Speaker 2: Oh god, uh choose you mm hmmm. I like that. 821 00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,640 Speaker 1: Yes, that's what you tell your daughter. Choose you, Karen. 822 00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:01,400 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. You have season four of The 823 00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:05,480 Speaker 1: Morning Show coming out. Forever has been slated for season two. 824 00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,040 Speaker 1: I'm so excited about that. I can't wait for both 825 00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:10,080 Speaker 1: of them. Is there anything else we need to be 826 00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:12,759 Speaker 1: arrested on or anything we need to put on our 827 00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:14,000 Speaker 1: radar that you have coming up. 828 00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:18,719 Speaker 2: Just now September seventeenth, it's only on Apple TV. Plus 829 00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:20,279 Speaker 2: you're going to see The Morning Show and it's a 830 00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:20,920 Speaker 2: great season. 831 00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:25,800 Speaker 1: Please, we're gonna watch. No, I'm so excited. You're a 832 00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:29,080 Speaker 1: phenomenal at the show, so I cannot wait. I cannot wait. 833 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:29,800 Speaker 2: Thank you. 834 00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,200 Speaker 1: Thank you for this. I love you so much. 835 00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:33,800 Speaker 3: You are the best at. 836 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,880 Speaker 1: Thank you. I love you, Karen. This is a delight 837 00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:40,200 Speaker 1: way to start my day. I do apologize again for 838 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:43,120 Speaker 1: the technical difficulties. No, thank you for your patience and 839 00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:44,520 Speaker 1: you are so gracious. Thank you. 840 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:47,560 Speaker 2: Okay, we'll talk all right. 841 00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:51,439 Speaker 1: Love, have a good one. Thank you so much. Para 842 00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:54,759 Speaker 1: Pitman for sharing her journey and specifically her perspective on 843 00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:58,160 Speaker 1: motherhood with us. I took so much from this conversation 844 00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:00,400 Speaker 1: that's going to resonate with me and I hope it 845 00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,279 Speaker 1: resonates with you too in the meantime, in between time. 846 00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:07,520 Speaker 1: Keep it positive, sweeties, h 847 00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:10,040 Speaker 2: H