1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 2 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:08,879 Speaker 1: is how men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Hey everyone, 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 1: I'm Nick Thompson and you know me from the Netflix 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: reality series Love Is Blind season two where I got 5 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 1: married to Danielle Rule. I'm happy to be here guest 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: hosting How Men Think. Canna answer all of your questions 7 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: and help you understand how men are thinking in specific situations. 8 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: But first, let's get to eleven questions with me. Um. 9 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: These are questions that I'm happy to answer and very 10 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: excited to get going here. So first and foremost, what 11 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: are you known for? Let's let's hear a little bit 12 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 1: about myself? Um? Well, I'm known now from being on 13 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,479 Speaker 1: Love Is Blind season two and being one of the 14 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,240 Speaker 1: two couples that got married. I would say first and foremost, 15 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 1: but a little bit more about me as I grew 16 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: up in the suburbs of Chicago. I currently live in 17 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: Chicago here with Danielle Um. My passions include, um, you know, 18 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 1: news and politics. I spend a lot of time listening 19 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,960 Speaker 1: to podcasts, hanging out with my friends, drinking a lot 20 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: of coffee, practicing yoga, working out, being outside. I love 21 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: to walk around UM and then I also have a 22 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:07,039 Speaker 1: career in marketing for a software company called media Fly. So, UM, 23 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: I think that that covers that pretty well. What are 24 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,760 Speaker 1: who am I in my personal life? Um, that's a 25 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 1: good question. I think I shared a little bit of 26 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 1: that with the last one. But I'm very thoughtful, um 27 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: actually surprisingly to some people, introverted. So I spend a 28 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: lot of time thinking things through, listening to podcasts, listening 29 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:33,040 Speaker 1: to audiobooks, reading online about you know, thought leadership pieces. Um. 30 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: I also spend quite a bit of time now recording 31 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: my life for social media more than I ever have before. 32 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,680 Speaker 1: And then just hanging out with friends and family and 33 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: and um, you know, doing the restaurant seen here in 34 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,199 Speaker 1: Chicago is always fun, always something great to do in Chicago, 35 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: which I love, especially coming into the summertime, which we're 36 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 1: doing right now. Three shows that I've been watching, well, 37 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: I actually in the last two weeks just finished two 38 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: shows that I really every night was kind of like 39 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: which when do I watch? Which when do I watch? Um, 40 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 1: and that it be Inventing Anna and then super Pumped, 41 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: and then also been kind of supplementing that with a 42 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: little bit of Ship's Creek, which I've seen periodically but 43 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: never watched through fully. So doing that with Daniel has 44 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: been a really good time as well. What's my favorite food? Uh, Pizza, Pizza, pizza. 45 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,919 Speaker 1: I could eat pizza for every single meal. Here in Chicago, 46 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 1: we have deep dish. I do love peep dish, but 47 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,920 Speaker 1: I like thin crust. I like our tease and pizzas 48 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 1: and you name it their sauce and cheese on it, 49 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: I'm there for it. UH. Tell you about your career. 50 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: I'm a VP in marketing, had a software company called 51 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: media Fly, and I've been in marketing for the majority 52 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 1: of my career. I've really enjoy a storytelling aspect of it, 53 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,240 Speaker 1: begetting to know people and their problems and how to 54 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: solve those problems. And it's really really the storytelling now 55 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: that that keeps me invested and excited about marketing. Big, 56 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: big fan of storytelling and helping people solve problems. My 57 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: biggest fear in life, UM, I would say that's actually 58 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,959 Speaker 1: changed over the years. One of my initial biggest fear 59 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 1: years was never finding someone to share my life with 60 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,799 Speaker 1: and spend my life with. Um and you know, ultimately 61 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: just ending up with a lot of cats or a 62 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: lot of dogs and riding solo. But now that that's changed. 63 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: I think now that that's changed with daniel I think 64 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: one of my biggest fears is just leaving something on 65 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: the table um, not achieving something that I wanted to achieve, 66 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: or not going after something that I want to go 67 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,639 Speaker 1: at and living with that regret. So I think now 68 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: it's kind of shifted a little bit too, not living 69 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: living life to the fullest and not having any regrets 70 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: back in my life. What is my biggest pet peeve? 71 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 1: I hate to admit this, I actually kind of have 72 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 1: a lot of pet peeves. Probably I think one of 73 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: my biggest pet peeves is cluttered Um, aside from my 74 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: desk which is kind of cluttered at the moment um, 75 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: and there's clutter in my house, in my life. It 76 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: kind of makes me anxious and uneasy, and it's it's 77 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: a difficult thing for me to to not like immediately 78 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: start organizing clutter. So I think that's probably my biggest 79 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: pet peeve. What makes you the most be um? You know? 80 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: I I think the times I'm the most happy are 81 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: when I can just look around my surroundings, and you know, 82 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 1: a lot of those times now are with Danielle and 83 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: Grayson and Whiz. But I just look around and I'm like, 84 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,119 Speaker 1: you know, there's no place else I'd rather be right now. 85 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: And sometimes that can be here at home. Sometimes that 86 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: can be at a nice dinner or doing some sort 87 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: of activity. But I think those are the moments when 88 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 1: I'm really the most happy. What's my ideal Saturday morning? Um, 89 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: not rushing. I think with life and working away that 90 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 1: I do in my career and with marketing, mornings are 91 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: not a good time to try and relax. You you're 92 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,600 Speaker 1: immediately up and now working from home the last couple 93 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 1: of years, it's like you're up and you're at it 94 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: the moment you look at your phone. So I like 95 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 1: Saturday mornings when I get to kind of lay around 96 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:54,039 Speaker 1: in bed, enjoy my coffee, listen to podcast, listen to music, 97 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 1: and just not have anywhere to be, at least for 98 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 1: a little bit later in the day. I am. I'm 99 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 1: more of an athlete or an armchair quarterback. Um well, 100 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: I used to used to be a little more athletic. 101 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 1: I used to play flag flag football. Um I haven't 102 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 1: played in the last couple of years, but I definitely 103 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 1: like to sit in that armchair and and talk to 104 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 1: uh the bearers coaching staff and tell them what they 105 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: should be doing here in Chicago. So probably a little 106 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: bit of a mix of both, maybe leaning a little 107 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: bit more into armchair quarterback these days. Um, next question, 108 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: what keeps me motivated? I think the desire for more 109 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: is what keeps me motivated. I don't like to settle 110 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: at all on anything. I try to give everything, and 111 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:41,839 Speaker 1: so for me, what keeps me motivated is the what's next? Okay, 112 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: I've achieved this. What's next? Okay, I've achieved this, What's next? 113 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: And that doesn't necessarily just meaning career or you know, 114 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: purchasing a condo or a house. It just means, um, 115 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,280 Speaker 1: you know, once I achieve something, what's next. It can 116 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 1: be I've run two miles and they've been ten minutes each. 117 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 1: Now how do I get those two nine minutes each? Um? 118 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: It could be something like what's my next career step? 119 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 1: Or I want to, you know, move into a bigger 120 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: house with Danielle. So it's just always looking into what's 121 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: next and keeping myself on edge to to stay motivated. 122 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,720 Speaker 1: All Right, that was a little bit about me. Eleven 123 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: Questions with Nick Thompson from Love Is Blind season two. 124 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break and then when 125 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: we get back in a moment. All right, we're back 126 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: here with Carissa, who's here with our first question for 127 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: I'm a caller today. Hi Carissa, how are you doing? Hi? 128 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: I'm good. How are you doing doing great? Thanks for 129 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: calling in Olkay. So my question was, um, okay, So 130 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: when I'm like trying to meet people and I'm talking 131 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,360 Speaker 1: to a guy and it's like, you know, going, mom, 132 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 1: we're like learning and stuff, I was so awkward when 133 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 1: the conversation is like coming to an end and they 134 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,840 Speaker 1: haven't asked for my number. Yeah, And I'm definitely not 135 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 1: bold enough to like ask for their number, like just 136 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 1: give them my number, And so I was thinking maybe 137 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: I could like ask for like their Instagram or something, 138 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: because that's like a little bit more casual. But I 139 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 1: don't know, is that weird? Is that like too bold? Also, 140 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 1: the first question for you is this if you meet 141 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: someone in person or is this on a dating app? 142 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: Um in person like like at a bar, just like 143 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: at the store something. So I think if you don't 144 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: want to be bold and give your phone number, I 145 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: think following on Instagram is an easy thing. To do. 146 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: In fact, I would even be like, hey, let's keep 147 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: in touch. Can I follow you on Instagram? And keep 148 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: it even a little more casual And to be honest though, 149 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: I think sometimes guys are just a shy. Um. I 150 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 1: know it's it's weird, maybe coming for me since I 151 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: did my dating in front of the whole world I 152 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: love is blind, but um, you know i'd be in 153 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: those situations to where as a guy, I'm like, is 154 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 1: it okay to ask for the number? Is she being nice? Um? 155 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: And you know he may have those nerves too. So 156 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 1: I think asking for follow or offering to follow him 157 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: on Instagram, if that's more comfortable for you then giving 158 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 1: your phone number. Asking for a phone number, I think 159 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 1: that's perfectly acceptable. Yeah, I thought. Then you know they 160 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 1: kind of like you can see a little bit more 161 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: about me, and I can see a little bit more 162 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 1: about them too, like from their profile and stuff. Yeah, 163 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 1: I think so too. And especially when you meet in person, 164 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: you don't get you know, there's pros and constant online dating, 165 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: but when you meet in person, you don't even get 166 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: any context of what do you like to do for 167 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: fun or what are your your clever answers to the 168 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 1: thought provoking questions they asked. So I think it's perfect acceptable, 169 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:43,439 Speaker 1: UM to to share instagrams. Absolutely, Mary, thank you so much. 170 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,079 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. Yeah, you're welcome. It was nice 171 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 1: talking to you. Nice talking to you too. Thanks. Thanks. Hey, Nikky, 172 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,839 Speaker 1: how are you doing? Thanks for calling in good. How 173 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: are you doing? I'm doing just fine. Happy to talk 174 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: to you and hopefully help you out of it. Sure. UM, 175 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:07,679 Speaker 1: So my question is, you know, I'm I am recently divorced, 176 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 1: and I I am trying to get out there and 177 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:19,080 Speaker 1: in date and I'm just wondering, I mean, do guys actually, 178 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: you know, ask women out on dates in person anymore? 179 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: Or is this all a an online text kind of generation. Um, 180 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 1: that's a really really tough question. I think it's definitely 181 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: maybe an eight twenty nine ten and split of online 182 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 1: dating versus meeting in person. But I do think if 183 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: you get out there and you put yourself in social 184 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:51,440 Speaker 1: situations where someone has an opportunity to have a conversation 185 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: with you, it can still happen that way. UM. Just 186 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: not so sure that UM people are as comfortable having 187 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:04,080 Speaker 1: those in person interactions as they were pre apps. Right, 188 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,040 Speaker 1: So everyone now is just to swipe away from the 189 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 1: next person. I mean, it's to the point where before 190 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 1: I was on the show and Meth Danielle, I would 191 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: literally be out with UM friends and stuff and people 192 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: would be on their app on the phone. It's like 193 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: your work to be present when you are out, and 194 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: I think that you can um you know, maybe meet 195 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: someone in a more organic way. But I definitely think 196 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 1: it's it's skewed towards the apps. It just gives people 197 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,680 Speaker 1: almost like uh, something to hide behind give it, which 198 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: gives them a little bit more. My take on it 199 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: are you do you ever put yourself out there in 200 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 1: social situations and you're just not seeing anything? Or what 201 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:47,719 Speaker 1: is your what is your dating been like since getting divorced? Uh? Nonexistent. 202 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 1: I mean. The funny thing about this is that when 203 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,679 Speaker 1: you go on a date, you're in person with somebody, 204 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 1: you're with them, So it's weird. It's just weird to 205 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: me that people want to communicate without talking to the 206 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 1: person face to face, but they want to go on 207 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: a date with them face to face. So it's just 208 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: so weird to me. But yes, I go out with 209 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:17,320 Speaker 1: m girlfriends. We you know, go to UM dance, Uh, 210 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 1: it's like social dance classes like swing dancing and all 211 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: those kind of um places and um, you know, just 212 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 1: out for cocktails of course, um, different things like that, 213 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 1: some activities, hiking whatnot. It's just that I don't seem 214 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,960 Speaker 1: to meet anybody, and anybody that I any man that 215 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 1: I do meet, they already have a wife or a 216 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 1: girlfriend or something like that. So it's not I'm not 217 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: seeing even at church, I'm not eating. Everyone is pretty 218 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:55,079 Speaker 1: much coupled up. So it's just one of those things 219 00:11:55,160 --> 00:12:00,319 Speaker 1: where I'm not really running into any single old men 220 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,960 Speaker 1: that are, you know, a little bit older, not so 221 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 1: much in their twenties. Um. So yeah, that's kind of 222 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: that sounds yeah, that sounds like a tough situation. And 223 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: are you comfortable if you do like someone in starting 224 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,440 Speaker 1: that conversation or if you find someone attractive going up 225 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: to them. Well yeah, I mean I I don't have 226 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 1: a problem doing that. But like I said, most of 227 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,959 Speaker 1: the times when I go up and talk to them, 228 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: either they're really nice, but either they're already involved with 229 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 1: somebody or they're they're too young. Soh so it's you know, 230 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:43,439 Speaker 1: I get these young guys that are interested, but I'm like, no, unfortunately, 231 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 1: you're way too young. Yeah, you gotta I understand, you 232 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:51,839 Speaker 1: have to have your your sort of window of age 233 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 1: there so that you're at least in the same book, 234 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:58,440 Speaker 1: if not on the same age, right, Like my advice 235 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 1: to you and my thought and this is you know, 236 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: this is coming from a third party over here, my 237 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 1: thought processes. Keep doing what you're doing, keep being social, 238 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 1: going out with your friends, taking these dance classes, and 239 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:17,439 Speaker 1: don't get discouraged or lose confidence in that walking up 240 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,959 Speaker 1: to a man that you find attractive or that you're 241 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,319 Speaker 1: interested in getting to know more, because it only takes 242 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,480 Speaker 1: one that doesn't have someone and that ends up being 243 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: the right one. And timing is everything. So maybe it 244 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,320 Speaker 1: just hasn't all lined up yet for you. Yeah, And 245 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 1: I do have another question because maybe maybe you know 246 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 1: I am coming across someone that is single, but I don't, 247 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. Or maybe when I do 248 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 1: meet somebody that is single and I think that they're 249 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:48,959 Speaker 1: attracted to me as well, but they're still not asking 250 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 1: for my number or asking me out. What what queues 251 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 1: would would I give a guy during a conversation that 252 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:01,680 Speaker 1: would maybe lead him to skin me out or asking 253 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,199 Speaker 1: for my number at least. Yeah, I think that's two fold. 254 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: I actually just had a similar question with the last caller. 255 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,960 Speaker 1: I think men are are shy. For one, like, don't 256 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,760 Speaker 1: don't think that we're not shy too. We are. We 257 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,760 Speaker 1: don't want to ask for your number and get rejected. 258 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 1: And we're looking for those same cues that you're looking for. Um, 259 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 1: And you know, some people receive them different, some people 260 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: give them different. I would say, um, first of all, 261 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,360 Speaker 1: it sounds like you're you're a pretty confident woman. So 262 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,240 Speaker 1: if you are talking to a guy and he's not 263 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: asking for your number, ask for his. Just be bold. 264 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 1: I think you you something like you might be comfortable 265 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 1: doing that. The other thing is, I think if he's 266 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 1: in a conversation with you, if it's not a short, 267 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 1: one sided answer, you're not carrying a conversation, there's a 268 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 1: very good chance that he's into you, and maybe he's 269 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: just nervous for his own reason. Another thing, too, is 270 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 1: like you know, subtle touching of an elbow or or 271 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,359 Speaker 1: leaning in or um, you know, some of those nonverbal 272 00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 1: cues there I think also really indicates, um, you know, 273 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 1: whether or not someone's interested in you. I know, For me, 274 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 1: when I was dating, I would not move. I would 275 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 1: be stiff as a board if I wasn't interested in someone. Yeah, 276 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 1: that's just one person. But I think that those are 277 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 1: some things that you can probably look for. But again, 278 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 1: I think society right now is much more comfortable using 279 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 1: dating apps and communicating through text. Um, so you know, 280 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: there might just be a level of shyness there that 281 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 1: you're just not aware of. Alrighty, I know it sucks. 282 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: I know it sucks. Like because a woman, a woman 283 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 1: wants a man that's a man. You You want a 284 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 1: man to be the one that approaches you. You want 285 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:42,000 Speaker 1: the man to you know, you want the night and 286 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: shining armor. I mean, it's still gonna it's still going 287 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 1: to be what a woman wants. I mean, maybe someone 288 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:53,160 Speaker 1: really young because they haven't grown up, you know, with 289 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 1: the same kind of guys, maybe they don't mind. But 290 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: I don't know for someone my age, which is late forties, 291 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 1: you know, you I want a man to be a man. 292 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 1: I want him to come to me and ask me out, 293 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: and him to to be confident, because if a man 294 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 1: isn't confident, that's not very attractive. Yeah, I can understand 295 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: that completely. I I really think. Um, it's it's easy 296 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: for me to say this too, but it's probably just 297 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: not been the right timing for some of these these 298 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: men or for the right guy to come along. And 299 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 1: if you're confident, though, I would keep approaching. If you 300 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 1: like someone, I would keep doing that. Okay, it only 301 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:44,240 Speaker 1: takes one. It only takes one. Yeah, true, that is true. 302 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: But thank you so much. Yeah, of course, it was 303 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 1: so nice to meet you, and good luck to you. 304 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 1: Thank you, Hey, Shana, thanks for calling in. How you 305 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 1: doing today? I'm doing well. Thank you for having me today. Awesome, 306 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 1: I'm glad to have you. So what's on your mind? Alright? Well, 307 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: basically this has been on my mind for a while now. 308 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,639 Speaker 1: I've been in a relationship with a great guy for 309 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: about six months, and over time I've I've definitely come 310 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 1: to learn that his love language is acts of service. 311 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 1: I'm sure you're probably familiar with, but myself, I'm pretty 312 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:22,359 Speaker 1: different because mine is words of affirmation. So sometimes I 313 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,639 Speaker 1: noticed that he's struggling to open up during our conversations 314 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,719 Speaker 1: and stuff, and this just tends to pose a problem 315 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,760 Speaker 1: for me because I don't know, I'm the kind of 316 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 1: person that needs reassurance. That is something that goes a 317 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 1: long way for me. But the good thing is, you know, 318 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,480 Speaker 1: his acts of service does show that he cares. He'll 319 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,399 Speaker 1: always take the time to cook me a fabulous dinner, 320 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:47,440 Speaker 1: you know, call me just to say hi, do other 321 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,880 Speaker 1: nice gestures like he'll regularly pick up the bill when 322 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,639 Speaker 1: we go out to dinner, which is great. Um, But 323 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,560 Speaker 1: I don't know. I just struggle and I get in 324 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:59,119 Speaker 1: my head sometimes because I guess I'm wondering how he 325 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:03,679 Speaker 1: feels deep down, And I guess my question here is 326 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: how do I go about asking him for verbal affirmations 327 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: in kind of maybe a casual sort of way. That way, 328 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 1: I don't seem like I'm forcing him to open up 329 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:17,679 Speaker 1: when he doesn't feel comfortable doing so, right, And I 330 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:23,399 Speaker 1: think that is a very multi leveled question. So I'm gonna, 331 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,439 Speaker 1: if you don't mind, I'm gonna try and hit a 332 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 1: couple of points that I immediately jump out to me. 333 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 1: One is love. Languages are a great tool to understand 334 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 1: one another, but it goes, at least in my opinion, 335 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:42,960 Speaker 1: it goes beyond how you received love and goes into 336 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:47,159 Speaker 1: also how your partner gives love. So everybody has Here's 337 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 1: how I received love, Here's how I show love. And 338 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:54,920 Speaker 1: I think for YouTube it would be an amazing exercise 339 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 1: to have a safe space where you can both talk 340 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,399 Speaker 1: about that and maybe even both think about it, because 341 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,000 Speaker 1: a lot of times I know, for me over the years, 342 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,640 Speaker 1: like I know how I received love, but I never 343 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 1: thought about is the way I'm showing love, the way 344 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: that the person I'm with needs me to show love. 345 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 1: And then you also, it just sounds like you do 346 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,520 Speaker 1: a great job of this already understanding his love languages, 347 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: acts of service, and so you realize he is trying 348 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 1: to show you love. So I think, wondering how he 349 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:28,400 Speaker 1: really feels, you should take that into consideration too, that hey, 350 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,400 Speaker 1: he is doing these decks of service. He is calling me, 351 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 1: he is picking up the bill on our dates, and 352 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: so he is showing me love. And then if you 353 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,320 Speaker 1: can educate him on the other way you need to 354 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,640 Speaker 1: be shown love through words of affirmation, then you, guys 355 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 1: can hopefully find like a fifty fifty split where you 356 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: know he can reach out a little bit out of 357 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: his comfort zone to give you those words of affirmation, 358 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 1: and then you can also understand a little bit better 359 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,920 Speaker 1: the way he's showing you love and then vice versa 360 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: as well. And I think if you guys can have 361 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: a conversation around that in a safe space where it's 362 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:01,159 Speaker 1: not accusatory, it's not no one's going to take anything 363 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,040 Speaker 1: personally or as a criticism, it could really go a 364 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: long way for your relationship and helping to understand one another. No, 365 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,639 Speaker 1: that's awesome. I think the key word, and you're emphasize 366 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 1: here is maybe compromise, um, which is probably yeah, something 367 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: that I could understanding too. Understanding. Yeah, I get a 368 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,199 Speaker 1: little rigid, I think sometimes because I've read a lot 369 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 1: of books, and sometimes I feel like I need to 370 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 1: stick with a certain structure. But I like what you're 371 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,440 Speaker 1: saying about being flexible and everything. That's definitely something I 372 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 1: could try to be a little bit better about, for sure. 373 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,960 Speaker 1: And I think to like this is and I'm like you, 374 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 1: I've probably read way too many books. I have way 375 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 1: too many ideas of of what a marriage or a 376 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,159 Speaker 1: relationship should be versus what they are in reality, and 377 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 1: and um, you know, flexibility and listening more is always key. 378 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: And I think that the real key is that when 379 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 1: you have these conversations, whether it's this or whether it's 380 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: about the future, whether it's about whatever. It just needs 381 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,199 Speaker 1: to be in a safe space where it's okay to 382 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable. That doesn't mean that the person doesn't like you, 383 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,560 Speaker 1: will love you anymore. It's okay to be hurt, but 384 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,359 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean this person doesn't like you, will love 385 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 1: you anymore. Does that make sense? It totally does. I 386 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: think maybe I need to try not to overthink it 387 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,159 Speaker 1: and just go with the flow. And this gives me 388 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,880 Speaker 1: a lot to think about. Thank you. Yeah, good, it's 389 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 1: my pleasure. I wish you to nothing but the best. Oh, 390 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,640 Speaker 1: thank you so much. Thanks, it was nice to meet you, 391 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 1: and good luck he celess. Thanks for calling in. How 392 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: you doing today? I'm good, are you? I'm good, glad 393 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 1: to get the chance to talk to you. You too, Thanks. 394 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 1: What's on your mind? Um? So, yeah, I'm I'm single. 395 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,159 Speaker 1: I always hear my friends that are all married with 396 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,959 Speaker 1: babies and everything that they just knew that their husband 397 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,080 Speaker 1: was the one, And I just I want your advice 398 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 1: on like how to know, like just logically, like how 399 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,439 Speaker 1: you actually know or you're just feeling pressure to like 400 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 1: do the damn thing, or do you like is it 401 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,919 Speaker 1: truly like you can know that that person is the 402 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,919 Speaker 1: one or do you do you like just talk yourself 403 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:17,240 Speaker 1: into it. I think that there's a lot of both 404 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 1: that goes on in the in the world of dating, 405 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:24,359 Speaker 1: in the world of relationships. Um you know, I personally, 406 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:28,160 Speaker 1: I'm very intuitive. I can sense how people are feeling. 407 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 1: I can sense the connections, I can sense no connection. 408 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,680 Speaker 1: Um So, for me, I know, like I always knew 409 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,600 Speaker 1: I was gonna know, And there's times where I had 410 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: to walk away from getting in a situation where it 411 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,440 Speaker 1: was just gonna be like all right, well, let's just 412 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,520 Speaker 1: do this because it's the next step on our timeline. 413 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 1: Um So, I think that there's a combination of both 414 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 1: because some people don't have the strength to walk away 415 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,439 Speaker 1: from a situation like that. My my feeling for you 416 00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:01,640 Speaker 1: is like think, think to yourself, if I am with 417 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,800 Speaker 1: someone or I am dating someone and you have to compromise, 418 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 1: Like there's no perfect person for everyone. We're all compromising 419 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: all the time. But think to yourself, like, if I 420 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,879 Speaker 1: was to be with this person in ten years, what 421 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 1: I still want to be with this person? Is this 422 00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,160 Speaker 1: a person I can grow with together? And there's kind 423 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: of a logic behind that do we compliment each other 424 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 1: or are we exactly the same? And some people may 425 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 1: want to exactly the same, some people may want to compliment. 426 00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,959 Speaker 1: Identify these key things that are really important to you, 427 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 1: and then that's when I think you can actually start 428 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,399 Speaker 1: to know if you meet someone. So if you're not 429 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: sure exactly what you're looking for yet, or you're not 430 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,080 Speaker 1: sure what you want your life to look like in 431 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,600 Speaker 1: ten years with someone, then I think that would be 432 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 1: like step one, because then I think the rest does 433 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:50,280 Speaker 1: just kind of happen inside because I started checking these 434 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:54,479 Speaker 1: boxes you didn't even know you had got it, because like, 435 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 1: do they fit the vision you have of yourself in 436 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,240 Speaker 1: ten years? And it's it's like easy the answers yes, 437 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,640 Speaker 1: then like the next steps present themselves. But if it's 438 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,439 Speaker 1: like no, I don't see it, then that's your answer exactly. 439 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,480 Speaker 1: And I again to just pull from my own experience. 440 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 1: I always thought I would just know, right and it 441 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: wasn't working, and there was there were times when I was, 442 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 1: especially over the last couple of years before going on 443 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 1: Love was Blind and meeting Danielle, I just kind of 444 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,919 Speaker 1: like I'm not I'm not going to do this anymore, 445 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,399 Speaker 1: Like I'm not gonna date anymore, Like this is just 446 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,920 Speaker 1: such a waste of time, and you know, everybody's like 447 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,520 Speaker 1: I'm not connecting with anyone in the way that I 448 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,119 Speaker 1: know I need to. But I really started reflecting on 449 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 1: like what do I actually want? And once I kind 450 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 1: of figured that stuff out, it wasn't sticking a square 451 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,440 Speaker 1: peg of a person in the round hole. It was like, oh, 452 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: we're both squares going into the square hole, so let's 453 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,359 Speaker 1: just go together kind of thing. So I think it 454 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 1: really is. It really is identifying here's the here's the 455 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 1: main things I'm looking for, here's what I really need, 456 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: and then you'll meet the person that is just what 457 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,879 Speaker 1: you really need. And that's when you know, oh that's crazy. 458 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:09,360 Speaker 1: Yeah that makes a lot of sense. I feel like, um, 459 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,440 Speaker 1: but also like how does age play into it? Like 460 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 1: you're just at the age where you like it is time, 461 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,080 Speaker 1: So are you going to like make the person be 462 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,119 Speaker 1: the thing that you need because it's like the time. 463 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,200 Speaker 1: I think I used to think like that, and I think, um, 464 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: culturally women think that way, especially if they want to 465 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,720 Speaker 1: have a family. But my advice to you is don't 466 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,960 Speaker 1: rush it, don't force it. The right person is like 467 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,360 Speaker 1: it's they're out there and they'll fit your vision. As 468 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,600 Speaker 1: you said, you've just got to give time. It's chance 469 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,400 Speaker 1: to work itself out, and you never know. I mean 470 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: I said this to a caller earlier, like it only 471 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,239 Speaker 1: takes one and you never know where that one is. 472 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,640 Speaker 1: They could be right outside your door right now when 473 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,160 Speaker 1: you go to take a walk or leave your house. 474 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 1: You just don't know. Just so if you yeah, if 475 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,760 Speaker 1: you know what you want, at least when that person 476 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:06,600 Speaker 1: is there, you're ready for them. I like that I 477 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,440 Speaker 1: needed this. It helps. I feel like it's a lot 478 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 1: of visionary, visionary thoughts and easy, but I hope it helps. No, Yeah, 479 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,680 Speaker 1: the vision is the clearest aspect of it because there's 480 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 1: so many variables. But like when you're like, at the 481 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 1: end of the day, what do I want my future 482 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,400 Speaker 1: to look like? And like what kind of person would 483 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,960 Speaker 1: get me there or be there with me? And then 484 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,400 Speaker 1: that is like the clearest way to understand it exactly 485 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,639 Speaker 1: and literally, Like what it came down to for me 486 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 1: is I want someone that's going to go on adventures 487 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 1: with me, and that can be walking down the street, 488 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,480 Speaker 1: that can be vacation, that can be trips, whatever it is. 489 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,200 Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, like that stuff 490 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,520 Speaker 1: you can do with a lot of people, but I 491 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:53,400 Speaker 1: want someone I can just sit on the couch with 492 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 1: and sort of melt and that's a safe, comfortable place 493 00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:03,199 Speaker 1: to be. And so finding that, yeah, it became like, 494 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 1: who's the right person to do both of those things 495 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 1: with me that I want to do it with? And 496 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,160 Speaker 1: it took me a long time to figure that out. 497 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 1: That's incredible. Well, I'm so happy that you found that 498 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 1: and sharing that, sharing that insight is beautiful. So thank 499 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: you for going to find it too. I wish thank 500 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 1: you everyone does right. Yeah, you'll find them. You'll find them. 501 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:34,240 Speaker 1: To stay confident and don't get discouraged. Okay, thank you. 502 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,919 Speaker 1: You're welcome and you have good rest of your weekend too, 503 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:43,520 Speaker 1: you too, Okay, bye bye bye. Hi Hannah, Hi, how 504 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:47,760 Speaker 1: are you. I'm doing great? How are you? I'm doing great? 505 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: Thank you good. I'm glad to meet you and have 506 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:55,199 Speaker 1: you on today. So thanks for joining. Yeah, thank you 507 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,920 Speaker 1: for having me. Um, I could really use your help. 508 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 1: I hope I can help. Yeah. So, um, So, I 509 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,160 Speaker 1: went on a date with this guy a few days 510 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: ago and it was it was a great time. You know, 511 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 1: we connected on things that we enjoyed to do together 512 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,879 Speaker 1: in hobbies. Um, but the thing is is that I 513 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,399 Speaker 1: didn't feel this physical connection with him, like this attraction, 514 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 1: and it's kind of a big thing for me, Like 515 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,119 Speaker 1: I really do feel that we should both be, you know, 516 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,879 Speaker 1: feeling that physical attraction together. And so my question is, 517 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,600 Speaker 1: can this be something that I can build up over 518 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 1: time or something that I can have over time that 519 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,919 Speaker 1: attraction to him, or am I just kind of wasting 520 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 1: my time and I should just end it right now. 521 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:48,120 Speaker 1: That's a tough, tough question. You guys met how did 522 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 1: you meet? We met on a on a dating nap tender. Okay, 523 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 1: so one more question on that and then I think 524 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 1: I have an idea of what what advice I can 525 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,080 Speaker 1: hopefully offer you. Um, did you find him attractive from 526 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 1: his pictures or from your conversation and then when you 527 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 1: met there was just a vibe off? Or was it 528 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 1: just he's amazing? I don't think he's cute. Yeah, so 529 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,640 Speaker 1: from he only had a couple of photos on his 530 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,920 Speaker 1: profile and from what I saw it, did you know, 531 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,480 Speaker 1: I did feel some attraction there, but in person it 532 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 1: wasn't like catfishing, but it just it was different, and 533 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,920 Speaker 1: so yeah, I thought he was amazing, but it wasn't 534 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 1: the same as what I thought it was going to be. 535 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 1: So I think that's a feeling that I know I 536 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,560 Speaker 1: had back when I was dating on dating apps often 537 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: not again, like I wasn't catfished, but there was definitely, 538 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 1: you know, a little bit of a different image. Um. 539 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,360 Speaker 1: I think if you enjoy his company, and you enjoy 540 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,480 Speaker 1: the conversation, and you have similar hobbies and interests, you 541 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,040 Speaker 1: should give it another date or two if he's up 542 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,720 Speaker 1: for it, and just see because if it was, if 543 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,560 Speaker 1: he was a little different the first time you saw him, 544 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 1: then what you were anticipating from the photos in the conversation, 545 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:05,440 Speaker 1: there's that initial shock that I think can can fade 546 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 1: now that you know what he looks like. You go 547 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 1: out of a couple of times and see if that 548 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,000 Speaker 1: can grow. There's a very good chance it doesn't. So 549 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,880 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be naive and say, oh, it's it's 550 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,000 Speaker 1: most likely to grow because you guys have a great connection. 551 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 1: But maybe you'll be able to become friends and still 552 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 1: enjoy some of those hobbies together, or in another situation, 553 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 1: maybe you start finding him attractive and and you go 554 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,880 Speaker 1: in that direction as well. But I don't think after 555 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,160 Speaker 1: one day you need to call it on that, especially 556 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 1: given the circumstances. I think you should try it again 557 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:39,120 Speaker 1: another date or two and see. Okay, okay, great? Yeah, absolutely, 558 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,800 Speaker 1: I agree. Thank you so much. Cool. Yeah, it's my 559 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,680 Speaker 1: pleasure and good luck. I hope that or whomever you 560 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,720 Speaker 1: end up finding works out great. Thank you so much. 561 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,640 Speaker 1: I appreciate your time, no problem, pleasure to meet you. 562 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,280 Speaker 1: You too, take care, Thanks you too, Bye bye bye. 563 00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:01,000 Speaker 1: Oh how are you? Hey, Brenda, it's nick nice to 564 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 1: meet you. Thanks for calling me him. I'm great. How 565 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 1: are you doing, I'm well? Thank you awesome. What what's 566 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:09,720 Speaker 1: on your mind today? What do you what do you 567 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:14,280 Speaker 1: want to ask for? Share? Yeah. So I've been dating 568 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 1: my boyfriend for about a year, and honestly things are 569 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 1: really great. But I live in California, although he lives 570 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,120 Speaker 1: in New York and so it makes it a little tough. 571 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: But I still really see a future with him, and 572 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:32,160 Speaker 1: I could see myself moving to be with him, um 573 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 1: but when I asked him if he'd consider moving to California, 574 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:41,240 Speaker 1: he said no. So yeah, now I'm worried, you know, 575 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,440 Speaker 1: like here, I am willing to give up my life 576 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 1: for someone, and I'm not sure if he's ready to 577 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 1: do that for me, and I don't know what to think. Well, 578 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:52,920 Speaker 1: I think there's a lot to unpack here. Do you 579 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,600 Speaker 1: mind if I ask you a couple of questions? Of course? Yeah? Okay, 580 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 1: So you guys have been dating for a year. That's 581 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 1: a long time. I think that's a fair assessment you're 582 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 1: doing of your relationship. Um, how did you meet? Where 583 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,600 Speaker 1: did you meet? And how long before you were separated? 584 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 1: Or have you been separated the whole time? So? Um, 585 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:17,960 Speaker 1: we met at a wedding actually through some mutual friends. Um, 586 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,680 Speaker 1: and we've always lived apart from one another, but we 587 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:27,080 Speaker 1: visit very right steel early. Okay, what's what's regularly? Like 588 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 1: every month? Every two weeks? Um, every month, so we 589 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:35,200 Speaker 1: kind of switch off? Okay, cool? Um, last question and 590 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,480 Speaker 1: then I think I have some some thoughts on it. Um, 591 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 1: what do you both do for work? And are you 592 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:45,360 Speaker 1: guys remote or is someone kind of tied to their 593 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:52,480 Speaker 1: location for work? Right? So I'm remote? Um, I work 594 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,880 Speaker 1: through like a tutoring service, but everything is online. Uh 595 00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:02,880 Speaker 1: and uh he is in person? He Um, he works 596 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:09,040 Speaker 1: for the city, so, um, yeah, so have you talked 597 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,720 Speaker 1: about that, because that was what I was thinking. If 598 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,440 Speaker 1: he had an in person job, he might feel a 599 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 1: little more um tied to his location and then especially 600 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,240 Speaker 1: working for this city. Um, you know. And again I 601 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:23,720 Speaker 1: don't I don't know what he does or if that 602 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 1: would be something that be duplicatable. I don't even know 603 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 1: if that's a word duplicated in California if you were 604 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,320 Speaker 1: to move towards you. But if he's loving, you know, 605 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,800 Speaker 1: if he loves his job or or something that could 606 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,720 Speaker 1: be part of it. Maybe that's the discussion you two 607 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,920 Speaker 1: could have. Are both of your families in New York 608 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 1: for him and then in California for you? No, Actually, 609 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,000 Speaker 1: that was what was funny. It's like we both traveled 610 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,520 Speaker 1: to this wedding. Um. He he knows one of my cousins, 611 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,440 Speaker 1: and so that's that's kind of how we met. But 612 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 1: all of our family lives in the same place. They 613 00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 1: live in in Midwest. We're in the Midwest, in Kansas. 614 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,880 Speaker 1: I think problem solved. You both just move back to Kansas. 615 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:11,200 Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I 616 00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:15,920 Speaker 1: think maybe Before you have a conversation about where you're 617 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,879 Speaker 1: going to live, you should have a conversation about is 618 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,600 Speaker 1: this what we want? Do we and it I'm not 619 00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,920 Speaker 1: saying gave an ultimatum, but maybe have a conversation about, like, Okay, 620 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:30,000 Speaker 1: where is this going? Because if neither of you are 621 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:34,319 Speaker 1: willing to move under any circumstances, that says a lot 622 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,279 Speaker 1: um And I don't think you should look at it 623 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:41,360 Speaker 1: as he's he's not willing to make the the same 624 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,799 Speaker 1: commitment that you are to move. I don't think that's 625 00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:46,759 Speaker 1: necessarily the right way to look at it. I don't 626 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,399 Speaker 1: know if it's fair to either of you to think 627 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,239 Speaker 1: that way, but I think you should just have a 628 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,880 Speaker 1: conversation about the relationship and like, well, what could it 629 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:56,880 Speaker 1: look like if we continue this um long distance? Like 630 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,839 Speaker 1: how long is that sustainable? If we if you moved 631 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,600 Speaker 1: to New York, what would that look like? Is that possible? 632 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,560 Speaker 1: If he moves to California? What would that look like? 633 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 1: Is that possible? Kind of understand what your swim lanes 634 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,680 Speaker 1: are so that you can pick one, whether that is 635 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:14,080 Speaker 1: doing something together or realizing that you know, maybe you 636 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,719 Speaker 1: do have to go your separate ways, which I'm not 637 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,120 Speaker 1: wishing for either of you, but that that would be 638 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,360 Speaker 1: my advice. Like I would, I would try to understand 639 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:24,040 Speaker 1: the different forks in the road and and just make 640 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,480 Speaker 1: sure that you're both comfortable with yourself and comfortable with 641 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:29,719 Speaker 1: whatever you guys decide to do and whatever roved you 642 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:34,200 Speaker 1: you identify. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes a 643 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,520 Speaker 1: lot of sense. I think, you know, I just heard 644 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,960 Speaker 1: the no initially, like there's no way he was moving, 645 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,719 Speaker 1: and then it just I turned off, you know I was. 646 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,279 Speaker 1: I I went to that kind of dark place like 647 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,920 Speaker 1: it's me and maybe there's more to it and I 648 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:51,719 Speaker 1: need to just be more open open to hear. Yeah. 649 00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:53,600 Speaker 1: I think it's a natural thing for you to feel 650 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,600 Speaker 1: that way. UM. I know I've felt that way plenty 651 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,400 Speaker 1: of times. UM, and you know you kind of you 652 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:03,080 Speaker 1: kind of have to learn the way to think sometimes 653 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 1: is try and get the other person's perspective without taking 654 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:10,560 Speaker 1: it as a criticism or as a as you know 655 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,719 Speaker 1: he doesn't want you because I I don't know, But 656 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,560 Speaker 1: I don't think that that says that As an outsider, 657 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,960 Speaker 1: I think there's just other things you guys could consider, 658 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,640 Speaker 1: um looking at and trying to really understand each other 659 00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,279 Speaker 1: and even I don't know how great your communication is, 660 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:26,200 Speaker 1: but just listen to him, Just ask him like, where 661 00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 1: do you where is this relationship going to you? And 662 00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,239 Speaker 1: create a you know, I've said this before, like a 663 00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:33,719 Speaker 1: safe space where he can be honest with you and 664 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,040 Speaker 1: you won't and you you'll try your best not to 665 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,440 Speaker 1: be hurt. You might get hurt, um, but you know, 666 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,399 Speaker 1: just try your best to hear him out and then 667 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: ask for the same and return from him and hopefully 668 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:46,480 Speaker 1: you guys can't have a good conversation. Yeah, I think 669 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,359 Speaker 1: I need to be ready to have the hard conversation 670 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,920 Speaker 1: that the easy one. I was just hoping to hear 671 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,360 Speaker 1: yes and being right happily. Ever after, once I didn't 672 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,839 Speaker 1: hear that, yeah, can I ask Can I ask you 673 00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,640 Speaker 1: one one last thing, just because I'm I'm I'm a 674 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 1: curious person. Would you move to New York for him? Yeah? 675 00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:07,759 Speaker 1: I would. I guess that's what's scary is to hear 676 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,719 Speaker 1: that he wouldn't for me. And that's where I just 677 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,400 Speaker 1: kind of turned off, you know, I was like, oh, Okay, 678 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,600 Speaker 1: then I guess this isn't what I wanted to be. 679 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:18,320 Speaker 1: When I didn't hear him out why. Yeah, and maybe 680 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:22,279 Speaker 1: that's what I was gonna stay. Maybe that's all you 681 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:25,440 Speaker 1: need is I will move for him. He's not. He 682 00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:28,040 Speaker 1: doesn't if he wants you to move for him, and 683 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:31,840 Speaker 1: then you move for him and you guys are happy 684 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:37,640 Speaker 1: and you're together, doesn't really matter exactly exactly, I know. 685 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,640 Speaker 1: And that's that's what I'm saying, is like I put 686 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 1: that block up and it was kind of immature and 687 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:46,200 Speaker 1: THEMB with me, but I I can see how it's 688 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,239 Speaker 1: a normal human behavior. You don't have to feel bad 689 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:53,719 Speaker 1: about it. Loop, So I was human again. There I 690 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:58,759 Speaker 1: go again. Yeah, No, I just need to give given 691 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,239 Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt and have the adult conversation, 692 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:05,640 Speaker 1: you know, not the wishful thanking one. Yeah, and just 693 00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:07,920 Speaker 1: remember it's not about whether or not he would move 694 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:12,479 Speaker 1: for you as as an exclusive determining factor. He has 695 00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:16,319 Speaker 1: his own thought processes why he would not. And maybe 696 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,399 Speaker 1: you'll hear it and oh that makes sense, Yeah I'll move. 697 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,360 Speaker 1: Maybe you'll hear it and be like, I don't know 698 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,759 Speaker 1: how I feel. Let's do this this long distancing a 699 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,040 Speaker 1: little longer. Maybe you'll hear it and be like that's 700 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,520 Speaker 1: a excuse or that's not going to work for me 701 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,680 Speaker 1: and then you know, either way, you know your path. 702 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,520 Speaker 1: But I would just definitely try to hear him out 703 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:36,040 Speaker 1: and have a heart to heart with him, totally, totally. 704 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:40,360 Speaker 1: I appreciate it. That's my pleasure. I really really rooting 705 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: for you both, and I hope that you have a 706 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:45,640 Speaker 1: good conversation around that soon. Thank you me too. Yeah, 707 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,680 Speaker 1: it was nice to meet you too. Best of luck. Okay, 708 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 1: care you too. Thanks. All right, Well, thanks to all 709 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,920 Speaker 1: of our callers. We're gonna take a quick break and 710 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:56,480 Speaker 1: when we come back, we're gonna do a little bit 711 00:38:56,480 --> 00:39:08,040 Speaker 1: more of the Q and A. Yeah, alright, we are 712 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:10,960 Speaker 1: back again. This is Nick from Love is Blind and 713 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,120 Speaker 1: we've got some questions that came in from you guys 714 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,399 Speaker 1: written over social media that we're gonna get to right now. 715 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,480 Speaker 1: So first one here, Nick, we know you from Love 716 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,200 Speaker 1: is Blind. You fell in love in the Pods and 717 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,719 Speaker 1: ended up marrying Danielle. If you could go back to 718 00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:26,799 Speaker 1: that time during filming, would you change anything? Um, I 719 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:31,800 Speaker 1: would not change anything other than I wish that Danielle 720 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:35,799 Speaker 1: and I got to spend um a little bit more 721 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:40,080 Speaker 1: time together off camera. But I wish we could have 722 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,160 Speaker 1: um done some of the things that we were able 723 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:47,359 Speaker 1: to do post show, post getting married, just to kind 724 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,640 Speaker 1: of have a little bit um, a little bit more 725 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:55,279 Speaker 1: of our bond together there. And I think we we 726 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:58,520 Speaker 1: were pretty confident, even though we were back and forth 727 00:39:58,520 --> 00:39:59,960 Speaker 1: on whether or not we should get married, we were 728 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,400 Speaker 1: pretty confident in our relationship and we knew we were 729 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,719 Speaker 1: going to keep dating afterwards. But some of the things 730 00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,440 Speaker 1: that we got to do just even the next day 731 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:11,160 Speaker 1: after filming, to not have cameras on you so so 732 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:15,040 Speaker 1: often we were just really able to to build this 733 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:18,799 Speaker 1: this amazing foundation in the pods UM and then you know, 734 00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:20,719 Speaker 1: you're just filming for weeks and weeks and weeks, and 735 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:22,760 Speaker 1: then we were able to even build on that foundation 736 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,800 Speaker 1: more afterwards. So I almost just wish we got a 737 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:26,360 Speaker 1: little more time to do some of the things we 738 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 1: did um during or after filming during filming, But I 739 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:34,440 Speaker 1: wouldn't change outside of you know that and maybe some 740 00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,320 Speaker 1: of the other elements that go into filming, I wouldn't 741 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:40,399 Speaker 1: change anything we had. We spent a lot of time 742 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,560 Speaker 1: getting to know each other. We spent a lot of 743 00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:44,960 Speaker 1: energy trying to figure out if we should be together, 744 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,680 Speaker 1: and I think that went a long way to making 745 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,400 Speaker 1: us be where we are today and ultimately saying yes 746 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,760 Speaker 1: at the altar too. Second question, why did you decide 747 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:58,839 Speaker 1: to go online? Is blind? This question is um It's 748 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,680 Speaker 1: so funny to me because it's like the basic, simplest 749 00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:05,080 Speaker 1: answer in the world. They actually found me on LinkedIn 750 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,040 Speaker 1: and sent me a message. I had heard of the 751 00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,600 Speaker 1: show just because everyone was talking about it. I had 752 00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:14,960 Speaker 1: never watched it until then, and after watching it, it 753 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:19,920 Speaker 1: was actually seeing um Lauren and Cameron and and the Barnetts, Um, 754 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,879 Speaker 1: Amber and Matt get together and have these sort of 755 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:27,880 Speaker 1: authentic relationships even though they were very different, and it 756 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:31,880 Speaker 1: addressed my biggest critique of dating, which was that everybody 757 00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,279 Speaker 1: has a million opportunities or at least use it that 758 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,840 Speaker 1: way that the next person is won't swipe away. So 759 00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:40,319 Speaker 1: when I decided to go on this, it was like, oh, okay, well, 760 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,319 Speaker 1: I'm actually gonna get to know fifteen women. I'm going 761 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,480 Speaker 1: to find out if any of them are a good 762 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:47,960 Speaker 1: fit for me. But ultimately, like, I'm getting rid of 763 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,440 Speaker 1: all those distractions and I'm able to focus, and the 764 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,600 Speaker 1: other people are doing the same thing, so I'm not 765 00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:56,080 Speaker 1: going to have to worry about a lot of the 766 00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:57,680 Speaker 1: things that you worry about after you go on a 767 00:41:57,760 --> 00:41:59,440 Speaker 1: date with someone that you need on a dating app. 768 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:02,760 Speaker 1: So ultimately it was just it eliminated all my critiques 769 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,960 Speaker 1: of the dating world and put me in a situation 770 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,000 Speaker 1: where it's all I had to do was focus focus 771 00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,759 Speaker 1: on it, and all, um, in this case, Danielle had 772 00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:11,759 Speaker 1: to do was was focus on it, and we were 773 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,120 Speaker 1: able to obviously build a great relationship because of that. 774 00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:17,960 Speaker 1: So that would be, uh, my main reason why I 775 00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,959 Speaker 1: went on the show. All right, what was the moment 776 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:24,560 Speaker 1: you knew Danielle was the one? Um, There's two answers 777 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:28,839 Speaker 1: to this question. The first one was the she was 778 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:32,080 Speaker 1: probably the tenth person that I talked to on day one, 779 00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:34,440 Speaker 1: and you speed date all fifteen men and all fifteen 780 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:38,640 Speaker 1: women for seven minutes each, and I was already getting fatigued. 781 00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,560 Speaker 1: I hadn't and everyone was a beautiful, wonderful person that 782 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,920 Speaker 1: I had met, all of the women are and I 783 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,880 Speaker 1: just hadn't felt that connection with someone. And it was 784 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,560 Speaker 1: coming to the end of the fifteen and I was thinking, oh, man, 785 00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,400 Speaker 1: well this isn't gonna work for me. And then I 786 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:57,200 Speaker 1: met Danielle, and the moment she said hello. The energy 787 00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:01,239 Speaker 1: just shot through the pod and I could feel it. 788 00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:06,239 Speaker 1: Then on day three, she told me that I was 789 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:08,719 Speaker 1: the only one that she wanted to be with there, 790 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,040 Speaker 1: and that if I wanted to continue the experiment, that's fine. 791 00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,160 Speaker 1: If I wasn't feeling that way, that's fine too. That 792 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,560 Speaker 1: she was going to go home, and so I was 793 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,480 Speaker 1: taking it back even though I was feeling the connection. 794 00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:20,279 Speaker 1: And when I went back to my room that night, 795 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:22,480 Speaker 1: I was like trying to process this, and one of 796 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:26,040 Speaker 1: the ways I process is by writing journaling. So I 797 00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:28,680 Speaker 1: just started writing how I was feeling about Danielle, and 798 00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:31,439 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, I was like, oh my god, 799 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:34,520 Speaker 1: I'm in love with her. And it's the day three, 800 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:38,160 Speaker 1: and so as I'm writing this, I wrote this letter 801 00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:41,600 Speaker 1: and then at the end, I wrote, you know, if 802 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:45,920 Speaker 1: this is um, if you're reading this right now, Danielle, 803 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,440 Speaker 1: I'm about to propose to you. And I saved it 804 00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:52,359 Speaker 1: on day three until I proposed on proposal day, and 805 00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,960 Speaker 1: I gave it to her then because I just knew 806 00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,080 Speaker 1: through that writing and getting my thoughts out that she 807 00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:58,919 Speaker 1: was going to be the one. How do you tell 808 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:02,160 Speaker 1: if a guy's interest did in you I will say 809 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,400 Speaker 1: this over and over until the day I die. And 810 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,560 Speaker 1: this isn't just This isn't just guys. This is for anyone, 811 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:12,080 Speaker 1: but specifically guys. If he's paying attention to you, if 812 00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,880 Speaker 1: he's responsive, if he's making time for you, he likes you. 813 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,080 Speaker 1: If he's not, if he's playing games, if he's not 814 00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:24,040 Speaker 1: returning calls or texts, or he's not following up and 815 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,920 Speaker 1: making plans, he's not into you and he's just playing 816 00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,520 Speaker 1: a game. But when a guy makes time for you, 817 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,560 Speaker 1: he you will know that he's into you, and then 818 00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,000 Speaker 1: he will make plans. You will want to make plans, 819 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,279 Speaker 1: and you won't feel weird about asking him to. So 820 00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:39,800 Speaker 1: all of these things will will come together when you 821 00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,200 Speaker 1: meet the right person. And if they're spending the time, 822 00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:46,719 Speaker 1: they're responding, they're making plans, you're comfortable making plans and 823 00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:48,359 Speaker 1: you don't have to wonder if it's okay to text 824 00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,480 Speaker 1: him or if it's too soon after the date, that's 825 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,560 Speaker 1: when you'll know. So just make time for each other 826 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:54,880 Speaker 1: if you like someone, and they'll do the same for 827 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:57,520 Speaker 1: you and you'll know that they're just in you. All right, Well, 828 00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,480 Speaker 1: I want to thank all of you for listening today 829 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,840 Speaker 1: and and how men thank for having me on the host. 830 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:03,760 Speaker 1: I want to thank all of our callers for calling 831 00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,200 Speaker 1: in and I hope that any advice I gave you 832 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,040 Speaker 1: was helpful. I wish you all nothing but the best. 833 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:09,839 Speaker 1: I also want to thank everyone who wrote in on 834 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,680 Speaker 1: social media with all those great questions. I'm happy to 835 00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,759 Speaker 1: answer them and thank you all for listening today. If 836 00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:17,160 Speaker 1: you want to hear more from me, you can find 837 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:21,640 Speaker 1: me on Instagram, which is at n Thompson five three 838 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:25,040 Speaker 1: at and Thompson five W three on Instagram and uh 839 00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:26,759 Speaker 1: I feel free to shoot me over any more questions 840 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,960 Speaker 1: you might have there too, So thank you and take care. 841 00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:32,360 Speaker 1: This is how men think. An I Heart Radio London 842 00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:36,120 Speaker 1: Audio Production listen each Thursday on the I Heart Radio app, 843 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,279 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts