1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm heart radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:11,560 Speaker 2: Guys, tell us I like it when Kramer comes in fresh. 3 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: Oh, she tried to break up with me again. 4 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 2: Amy, Oh, may because she thinks you're healed. Well. It 5 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 2: was actually a really beautiful moment. So it was this 6 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 2: is I'm like, this is what happened? Okay, I set 7 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 2: the scene, so I was also I was twenty minutes 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,640 Speaker 2: late because my so I don't have full time help. 9 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 2: I have a sitter that comes two to three times 10 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 2: a week for five six hours, and the sitter was 11 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,919 Speaker 2: running late, and so I texted Amy saying, Hey, I'm 12 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:47,239 Speaker 2: going to be twenty minutes late. But it was one 13 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 2: of those where I was driving there, going I really 14 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 2: don't have anything. But sometimes those are the best sessions 15 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 2: because then something comes up. Right in two weeks prior, 16 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 2: I was I don't even know if I should share 17 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 2: this story and not share the story. Oh, I'm gonna 18 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 2: go for it, okay TV So every time, but Kat 19 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 2: was witnessed to my breakdown. I feel like I have 20 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 2: a few times every few months. But so two weeks prior, 21 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 2: because I've been going every other week to therapy, so 22 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 2: twice a month obviously duah. And so. 23 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,320 Speaker 1: The last time, I was like, I'm depressed, you know 24 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:30,399 Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, I'm just like so. 25 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 2: I was like I think I might be like, you know, 26 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 2: actually depressed. So she even read me like the check lesson. 27 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 2: I was like, no, no, no, so you know, and 28 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 2: I was like, okay, well I guess I'm you know, 29 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 2: I'm not clinically depressed. I was like, I just I 30 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 2: don't feel happy, Like I don't know, I just am 31 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,320 Speaker 2: like I feel like I should. I feel like I 32 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 2: should be happy right now, Like what's wrong with me? 33 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 2: Like do I is my supplements off? Or do I 34 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 2: need more testosterone in my injections? I'm like, it's like 35 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 2: something feels off. And so we made like this collage 36 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 2: and that helped a little bit, which I've never clauged before. 37 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: I be gus, I've done that before. I love it. 38 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've never done it. I've always seen people do it, yeah, 39 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 2: but never done it. And it was it was nice. 40 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: I liked it. I enjoyed it. It was nice, it 41 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 1: was lovely, it was lovely through it in my trash 42 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 1: like you know, I wasn't a moment. 43 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I didn't even know, it was like because 44 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 3: it was a bad moment, I thought it was just 45 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 3: like that was lovely. 46 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 2: I was like, I was sitting in my car, like 47 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:22,919 Speaker 2: I'm not going to hang this up, you know what 48 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not a college like a single house. 49 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,920 Speaker 2: You know, where do I put my Where do I 50 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:34,800 Speaker 2: put this big child's high school like poster? You know 51 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 2: you wear Cramer and where in your closet that, yeah, 52 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 2: you don't reminded of it? You know what I'm going 53 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 2: to I'm gonna get a clause. I'm gonna put it right. 54 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 2: And maybe I'm actually making right now. So I'm personally 55 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 2: offend to continue. I'm making a vision board collage. Okay, 56 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 2: I'm not doing an imposter board this time anyways. So, 57 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 2: but what the problem was is I was feeling a 58 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 2: little slumpy, and you know, I kind of go up 59 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 2: and down in like my career slumps and like what 60 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 2: am I doing? What is what is the purpose I'm 61 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 2: even serving? And you know, so I go into like 62 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 2: my career, I'm not living my dream. We had a 63 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 2: lot of noise in the back of our house, so 64 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 2: I just my house is like my sanctuary. I wanted 65 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 2: to be nice and quiet and peaceful, and there was 66 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 2: a ton of noise, a ton of dust, and they 67 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 2: were knocking down all these trees and it was just 68 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 2: loud for two weeks and I kept telling Alan, I 69 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 2: was like. 70 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 1: I need to I just I need to get away. 71 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:27,639 Speaker 2: And I had kind of been mentioning this four day 72 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 2: break because like, Mike has the bigs for Labor Day, 73 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 2: let's go somewhere, you know, maybe we can go to California. 74 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 2: And this was like months ago, and so he and 75 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 2: then so then the two weeks before, I was like, hey, 76 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 2: let's go to or a month before, I was like, 77 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 2: let's go to the lake. I just need to be 78 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 2: around water because whenever I'm starting to feel a little off, 79 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 2: I'm like I need my center place. I need to 80 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 2: go to water. So we like going to tims Ford. 81 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 2: So he's like, leave it with me. So I'm like, okay, 82 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 2: I'll leave it with them. But then, you know, two 83 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 2: weeks before, a week before, I'm like, hey, things are 84 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 2: kind of like running out out here at Tim's Ford, 85 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 2: you know, and he's like, leave it with me. So 86 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 2: come Friday of Labor Day, you know, at this point, 87 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 2: I had therapy on a Thursday, and then that Friday, 88 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 2: and you know, she was just like she's like, she's like, 89 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 2: I have you hung out with your friends? I'm like no, 90 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,279 Speaker 2: She's like, what about Cat and Kristen. I'm like, well, 91 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 2: I only I see them and then they leave. You know, 92 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 2: it's like we don't have time to like hang out 93 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 2: in chat and catch up. I'm like, are you gre 94 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 2: and I got canceled that week. It was just like 95 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 2: all and like one week, I was like, I'm missing 96 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,479 Speaker 2: the fun. Like Alan and I are both so busy 97 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,600 Speaker 2: that we're not even like being able to connect by 98 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 2: the end of the night. We're both tired and you know. 99 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 2: So that's why I really wanted some time just us 100 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 2: together without the bigs. And obviously we have Roman, but like, 101 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,040 Speaker 2: you know, he's easy. So when Friday rolled around, I'm like, 102 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 2: all right, you know, where are we going? Because he 103 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,839 Speaker 2: said leave it with you. He was just like, well, 104 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 2: you know, I'm sorry, I've just been really busy, and 105 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 2: I just like I went in the other room and 106 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 2: I was like I just started to cry because I'm 107 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 2: like I just I felt for the first time, like 108 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 2: a claustrophobic feeling in my own house and I hadn't 109 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 2: traveled since the honeymoon, which is like I have never 110 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:10,720 Speaker 2: not traveled, like you know, I've usually traveled by that point, 111 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 2: and so I don't even know. This is such a 112 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,599 Speaker 2: long story, but you know, I come out and I'm like, 113 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 2: you know, I'm just really disappointed, and I said to 114 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,479 Speaker 2: leave it with you, and you know, it was something 115 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 2: I really wanted to do, which is why I mentioned it, 116 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 2: and I would have planned it, but now it's too late, 117 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 2: and and I was like, I just need to go 118 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,479 Speaker 2: for a walk. I just need a minute to myself. 119 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 2: Was it a double at that point? Because I think 120 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 2: something we share is wanting to control a little bit 121 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,719 Speaker 2: too and like just not we are very used to 122 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 2: doing things ourselves and more than capable. So is it 123 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 2: a double like disappointment and well like I to get 124 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 2: pick it up? Yeah, Like I really wanted to go, 125 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 2: and I would have easily bookedshared. You know, it would 126 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,600 Speaker 2: have been done and we would have been leaving at 127 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 2: you know, Friday at five o'clock down to the you know, 128 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 2: or four o'clock to go check in, you know, and 129 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 2: I know he's busy, but I would have had no problem. 130 00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 2: You didn't have to say leave it with me. I 131 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 2: would have loved to have actually checked in a couple 132 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,359 Speaker 2: of times, and I was still leaving it with you, 133 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 2: and then I left it with you and you just 134 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 2: left it. Yeah, yeah, and so you know, but I 135 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 2: also it was a good moment for me because normally 136 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 2: in the past I would have just like been really snippy, 137 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 2: let it ruin the whole weekend in past relationships, and 138 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,479 Speaker 2: but I just I went out to the living room. 139 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,240 Speaker 2: I was like, I need to tell you that this 140 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 2: really hurt my feelings and I feel let down. And 141 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,840 Speaker 2: I've told you what I needed and left it with you, 142 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 2: and so I went for a walk aside, I need 143 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 2: a walk, and bless him, he like comes meets me 144 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 2: on the walk and he essentially laid out three plans 145 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 2: like okay, because in the middle of a talk, I'm like, 146 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 2: like we could have gone to Nantucket or Cape cod 147 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 2: like somewhere just like fun, and like, you know, like 148 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 2: I just needed to get away, you know, I didn't 149 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 2: feel like coming. 150 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 1: I didn't see it coming anyway, just somewhere fun, like 151 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:55,960 Speaker 1: we can just take Roman and go. 152 00:06:56,040 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 2: You know what I mean, like just fun, good for you. 153 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 2: And so, like you know, when I said Nantucket. I 154 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 2: could just see him be like, I think we all 155 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,160 Speaker 2: need but. 156 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: I've never been. 157 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 3: I want to go back. 158 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 1: I actually want to Tucket. 159 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 4: Let's go. 160 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 2: So you know, the guy doesn't even doesn't even live 161 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 2: in the United States until like last year. 162 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 3: Where is that. 163 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 2: I don't think he knows at But yeah, so I'm 164 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 2: like saying all this, and again I wasn't like I 165 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 2: was not being mean or whatever. I just was like 166 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 2: expressed because I was like, what I don't want is 167 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 2: to hold onto this and men us have like a 168 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 2: fight over the weekend or something. So I just say, 169 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 2: I go for a walk, and then he meets me 170 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 2: on the walk and he's like, okay. He's like, we 171 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 2: can leave at this flight. We can go to Miami 172 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 2: West Palm or whatever, and we can leave it, you know, 173 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 2: six in the morning. And mind you, this is like 174 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 2: seven o'clock now on a Friday. We can leave Saturday 175 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 2: at six in the morning. And then he's like, but 176 00:07:55,120 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 2: because the flights are all gone hashtag Nan Dugget and 177 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 2: he's like, or we could fly up to kate Cod 178 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 2: and then take a boat over it an entire like 179 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 2: he had it all planned out, and I was like 180 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 2: I love you for even looking at these options. Having 181 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 2: said that, it is now seven o'clock on a Friday, 182 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,720 Speaker 2: I now feel anxious to just pick up and at 183 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 2: this point go to Nantucket or like, yeah, buddy, well 184 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 2: we had four. And that's the thing too. I don't 185 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 2: love being home when I'm not with the kiddos like 186 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 2: that long. So usually when it's more than three days, 187 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 2: that's when I'm like, hey, let's go somewhere because I 188 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 2: just I don't I don't like to not have them 189 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 2: in the house. 190 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 1: That long without like being here. So that was like 191 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 1: another reason. 192 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 2: But still we had you know, I was like, even 193 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 2: so like that last minute packing things, I don't want 194 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 2: to rush this either. I'm like, I was like, babe, 195 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 2: I think what I just really need is like I 196 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 2: just want to have fun. What I want is to 197 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 2: be able for us to just go have it, eat 198 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 2: something different for dinner. I mean, we have we have 199 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 2: the same thing every night, watch the same thing. It's 200 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:00,760 Speaker 2: it's so rinse and repeat that. I was like, I 201 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:01,920 Speaker 2: just got to get out of the house and we 202 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 2: just have to mix it up a little bit. I 203 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,479 Speaker 2: just need to have like a little bit of fun 204 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,640 Speaker 2: and you know, He's like, well, okay, maybe we can 205 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 2: just do a stay case somewhere and I'm like, yeah, 206 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 2: if it's if it's for one night, then let's just 207 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 2: grab a sitter and let's, you know, see if someone's 208 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 2: available for one night. So we found a sitter, we 209 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 2: went to The Four Seasons and it was I was like, 210 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 2: that's all I needed was just to get out of 211 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,080 Speaker 2: the house for like a hot minute date my husband 212 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 2: and just like have fun and eat different food. And 213 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 2: it was like the most amazing point. I don't know 214 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 2: why I started this conversation. 215 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 5: Fired from you tried you almost got fired again from 216 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:40,960 Speaker 5: oh yeah, yeah yeah therapy. Yeah, so you know, no, 217 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 5: there was something else, guys, this is it definitely started 218 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 5: with starting. 219 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,679 Speaker 2: With that, well you were depressed, trust that's right, So 220 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:52,439 Speaker 2: that's what So yeah, last mane lots of girls. So 221 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 2: but to come having said all that, this is like 222 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 2: a major squirrel moment. But it was I needed to 223 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,559 Speaker 2: have more fun and I'm curious, I'm going to throw 224 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 2: it back to you and them and go back to 225 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 2: the amy conversation. But is and once I had it, 226 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 2: it was great. It was the best, and it's was 227 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:10,839 Speaker 2: we had so much fun. I had, you know, lots 228 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 2: of nature, but in this season in my life, I 229 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 2: was like, that's just what I needed to just spice 230 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,840 Speaker 2: things up. Is there something that you girls are needing 231 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:21,319 Speaker 2: in the season from your partner or is it great? 232 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 2: Is it like do you need to do you need 233 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 2: some solo time? Do you need like I know for 234 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 2: when I was, you know, telling you Cat, I'm like, 235 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 2: I need girl time. I want to hang out with 236 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 2: my girls. Like Queendom is like, you know, so far 237 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,440 Speaker 2: everyone's doing their own thing. It's like it's we miss 238 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,680 Speaker 2: I missed that piece. But I feel like I was 239 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 2: able to have a great moment with Alan to just 240 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:46,079 Speaker 2: like shake up the monotony. Which it's not bad to 241 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 2: have that like routine, but I just needed a little 242 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 2: bit of a shakeup. 243 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:51,600 Speaker 3: We just did it. 244 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,440 Speaker 2: We went to Denver last weekend. Our anniversary was last 245 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 2: week so happy anniversary. Thanks nine years in the music industry. 246 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 2: Feels like dog Gears, we really have nailed it. But 247 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 2: I said, I think I just need like a day 248 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 2: with you. So we just honestly I want I had 249 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 2: bad naked all day. And I know when you say 250 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,199 Speaker 2: you have you need your days. You need a naked day. 251 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 2: I just needed naked. Whatever day it was naked Friday, 252 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,719 Speaker 2: we just I you know, like we got there. It's 253 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 2: like sometimes we'll get to a city and it's like 254 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:23,839 Speaker 2: do you want to go get a coffee or do 255 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 2: you want to go do walk around? I said, I 256 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 2: don't want a retail store. I just want rest. So 257 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:34,079 Speaker 2: we watched The Perfect Couple, So good, so good, and 258 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 2: we ordered room service and we did get dressed later 259 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 2: and like we went down and had like just really 260 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,480 Speaker 2: us kind of dinner, like we're leisurely, like have a 261 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 2: couple of bites, have a drink, have a couple of bites, 262 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 2: have a glass of wine. People, And it was wonderful. 263 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 2: And I just felt like we had been there for 264 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 2: four days and we were there just for one day. 265 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 2: But I needed like connection. And even the minute we 266 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 2: got back home, I felt it like it's just being 267 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 2: pulled in a million different directions, like we farerapist Anna, 268 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,240 Speaker 2: our couple service told us at one point we have 269 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 2: always done really well. When she calls it the piano room. 270 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 2: The night that we met, and it's when the world, 271 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 2: when the world starts to come into our world, is 272 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 2: when it just gets scattered in heart. I think that's 273 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 2: for anybody. So it's like sometimes we just need to 274 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 2: go and date. Yeah, even the kid obligation at home 275 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,320 Speaker 2: is beautiful. Yeah, I'm not a girlfriend in that setting, 276 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 2: and I like to be a girlfriend. 277 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 5: Yeah, well all know I'm a little bit different. But 278 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 5: I mean for me, like my alone time comes first. 279 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 5: I mean in the sense that's what I'm missing when 280 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 5: we're every which way, but also that has not been 281 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 5: as much lately as I need actual family time. So 282 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,880 Speaker 5: we are constantly I'm with one kid, he's with another kid, 283 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 5: and another kid is somewhere else. For me, the way 284 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 5: we connect, or at least I connect best is when 285 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 5: we are all together as a family, traveling or just 286 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 5: sitting down for dinner, which is a luxury these days 287 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 5: because I don't I can't remember the last time we 288 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,320 Speaker 5: just all sat down for dinner unfortunately. So that's kind 289 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,440 Speaker 5: of what I'm missing in this kind of because we're 290 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 5: just every which way. 291 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 3: But I also just love that love being in that 292 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,840 Speaker 3: so but I do it. 293 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:15,439 Speaker 5: Is it's so quick and I'm already I'm definitely feeling 294 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,840 Speaker 5: that right now, so I'd say that, but I'm also 295 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:22,200 Speaker 5: definitely missing like the friend part of it. Also, it 296 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 5: just feels so you look at the calendar and it 297 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 5: just feels so impossible, you know, when you get past 298 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 5: all your obligations, and I mean we're doing a decent 299 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 5: job of it in the last you know, a couple 300 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,680 Speaker 5: of weeks, I guess, but at least trying. 301 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,679 Speaker 2: But yeah, I think sometimes it is the impromptu is better. Yeah, 302 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 2: like the invite out for like Saturday. I'm like, yeah, 303 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:41,280 Speaker 2: this is what I'm talking about because you can make sense. 304 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 2: It's like looking at the calendar feels overwhelming or well, 305 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:45,079 Speaker 2: and it's. 306 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 5: That was kind of a thing where, you know, we 307 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 5: had missed Pam's birthday along you know, like what last month, 308 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,640 Speaker 5: I think it was or two months in August. She 309 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 5: actually canceled it, right, but like in a sense we 310 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 5: still kind of Yeah, she had canceled it. 311 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:57,440 Speaker 3: She'd been traveling. 312 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,840 Speaker 5: Everyone's crazy, right, and so I had kind of reached 313 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,200 Speaker 5: out and it was like, you know, I would still 314 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 5: love to do something, but it's just so hard to 315 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 5: find a date. And so Nick is actually out of 316 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,319 Speaker 5: town this weekend, and so it just kind of and 317 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 5: so I was like, you know what, I'm just going 318 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 5: to say, We're going Saturday, whoever can go, and then 319 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 5: we're just gonna have to start doing this and do 320 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 5: it more often and whoever can go great. Otherwise the 321 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 5: texts become okay, no dates worked, and then nothing ever happens. 322 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, and so I think that's. 323 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 5: Kind of like the new way to kind of do 324 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 5: it in a sense, if we're ever going to make 325 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 5: it anything work, you know. 326 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 2: Well, and to like, you know piece. The other part 327 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 2: of the beginning section is once you fill that cup 328 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 2: up that is so dry, you know, you start to 329 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 2: feel a little bit better. Like for me, like once 330 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 2: we got back from just that one day, or we 331 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 2: went hiking somewhere different than just walking around the neighborhood, 332 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 2: it was just like I just felt lighter, I felt 333 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 2: you know, hot, like just I felt good. And so 334 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 2: when I was going to therapy, I you know, she's like, 335 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 2: all right, catch me up, and I'm like, I really 336 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 2: don't have anything. 337 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I was feeling a little low. 338 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 2: But I just had to change my scenery up a minute, 339 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 2: because that's helpful for me, Like I always have to 340 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 2: have something that's what's next, what's coming, and then you know, 341 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:10,320 Speaker 2: a little change of scenery and you know, at the 342 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 2: very end, she goes she's like, I don't want you 343 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 2: to read too much into this or get upset. And 344 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,680 Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, you're breaking up with me. 345 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 2: She's like no, she's but she said, you're not in 346 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 2: crisis mode anymore. She's like, so, I don't want you 347 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,320 Speaker 2: to feel like you have to come every other week. 348 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 2: She's like, you, you're at a place now where you 349 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 2: are at the top of the whatever it's called, where 350 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 2: you have the self recognization and the healing and the growth. 351 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,280 Speaker 2: She's like you, She's like, you can space your visits 352 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 2: out more. She's like, you can come again as much 353 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 2: as you want. She's like, I'll be working for the 354 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 2: next twenty years. 355 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 1: So she's like you. 356 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 2: But she's like, if you just want to come once 357 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 2: a month or every month or every other month, She's like, 358 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 2: I want you to make that decision. She's like, because 359 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 2: she's like, you don't have to come every other week anymore. 360 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, but also, I was like, that's I. 361 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 2: Know that good time. 362 00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, it's good news. 363 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: I feel like you have to Yeah. Yeah, So it 364 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 1: was kind of felt nice. 365 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's also just like wonderful to just be wonderful 366 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 2: for a minute. Yeah, and just know that Okay, things 367 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 2: come in, but what are where's what's the toolbox of 368 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 2: things that I can bring in to go? 369 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: All right? 370 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 2: I'm feeling a little like like when I'm not working 371 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 2: or I feel sad or something. I for me, it's nature. 372 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 2: I got to be outside and I need to go 373 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,480 Speaker 2: out and have some fun. 374 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:23,920 Speaker 3: Yeah. 375 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 2: Well, and I even said it to you last week. 376 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 2: I was like, you have do you want to go 377 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:28,360 Speaker 2: walk in like a park? Yeah, real park, not a 378 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 2: neighborhood because I park today. We're going to walk in 379 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 2: a neighborhood. But I just A'm like I'm missing like 380 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 2: the fall does this to me too. I think it's 381 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,640 Speaker 2: the Midwest fall piece of me where You're like it's 382 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 2: crispy and the air gets cooler and it just feels cozy, 383 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 2: and I'm like, I really just want to hear birds 384 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 2: and maybe like see a deer, but you just seein 385 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 2: my own air for a second, and not be in 386 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 2: a neighborhood. I get tired of the beautiful but nature. 387 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 2: Were you going to say something okay in the park 388 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 2: the you know, speaking of not being able to have 389 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 2: it all, you actually can't well. According to Canyon, we've 390 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:15,680 Speaker 2: got Stacey Schroeder Clark coming on. She is from vander 391 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:19,400 Speaker 2: Pump Rules, and she is a two times New York 392 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,440 Speaker 2: Times bestselling author, and she's got a new book out 393 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,640 Speaker 2: called You Can't Have It All The basic bitch guy 394 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 2: to taking the pressure off. 395 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:40,640 Speaker 1: Let's get her on. How are you good? 396 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,440 Speaker 3: How are you good? 397 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 1: I'm Jana, This is Kristen. That's Catherine. 398 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:46,680 Speaker 2: Hi. 399 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,920 Speaker 6: Hey, thank you guys for having me. 400 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 2: No, thank you so much for coming on. We're really 401 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 2: excited to talk to you about all the things I 402 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,880 Speaker 2: feel like. That's just like, is that like the word 403 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 2: of twenty twenty four? All the things I know? 404 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 6: Because you know what it perfectly encapsulated. 405 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 4: It can encapsulates like a certain like what you mean, 406 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,480 Speaker 4: you know, it's like hard. It's like you know, when 407 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 4: say it's giving something and people are like, can we 408 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 4: stop saying it's giving? 409 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 2: Or like or the I always say, you know what 410 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 2: I mean. It's it's really you know what I mean? 411 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,679 Speaker 2: And in all these things I say you know what 412 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 2: I mean all the time, but I'm like, you know 413 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 2: what I mean? 414 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,200 Speaker 5: Right, Like you need someone to clarify that they understand 415 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,640 Speaker 5: what you're saying, right, Yeah. 416 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:25,200 Speaker 2: Exactly, And you guys, there's none of us are dealing 417 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 2: with just one topic at a time right now. That's 418 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 2: our world and that's actually all the things, and it's 419 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 2: giving us overwhelmed life very much. So Okay. The book 420 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,480 Speaker 2: that you have is called you Can't Have It All. 421 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:44,239 Speaker 2: It's released September tenth. What was the main goal for 422 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 2: you in writing this book? Like, what did you want 423 00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 2: people to know from this book? 424 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 4: Honestly, for I started selfishly writing this for myself after 425 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 4: I had my two kids. I was just like, well, actually, 426 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 4: after my first kid, to be honest, I realized, oh 427 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:03,200 Speaker 4: my god, this whole thing that women are constantly asked about, 428 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 4: like can you have it all? My whole life, I 429 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 4: thought I was going to be this woman that's like, yeah, 430 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 4: you can have it all, you can do all the things. 431 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,440 Speaker 4: And then my kids just like made me realize, oh 432 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,320 Speaker 4: my gosh, I don't think I want to. I think, like, 433 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 4: why are we striving to be the best and want 434 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 4: more in every single category all the time. It's exhausting 435 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 4: and it's not the way that I want to live. 436 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,760 Speaker 4: And I started writing about it, and the more, like friends, 437 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,439 Speaker 4: I talk to or like, you know, other moms that 438 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 4: are you know that like I go on play dates with, 439 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 4: or just like random people that I spoke to they 440 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,920 Speaker 4: were like I feel the same way. I feel the 441 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,639 Speaker 4: same way, and it just felt like something that people 442 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 4: were talking about. So then I just wanted to get 443 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 4: it out there. 444 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,719 Speaker 2: I mean, that makes total sense. I guess my question 445 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 2: to that is what would you want right now that 446 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,600 Speaker 2: you that you don't have? So you know, you've you've 447 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,880 Speaker 2: got the book, you've got a successful career, you've got 448 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 2: beautiful you know, beautiful family. So what is it that 449 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 2: you want that you that you feel like you can't 450 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 2: have in this moment. 451 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,440 Speaker 4: I don't feel like I'm wanting for anything right now, 452 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,959 Speaker 4: maybe some rest, a nap. 453 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 6: I'm wanting to just like sit a little. 454 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,840 Speaker 4: I think. You know, I'm often asked and I bet 455 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,840 Speaker 4: you're probably often asked this as well as like so 456 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 4: what more are you working on? 457 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:25,919 Speaker 6: What's next? Like? 458 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:26,920 Speaker 1: What are you? 459 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:27,359 Speaker 6: What are you? 460 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 2: Like? 461 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 6: What's the next thing? And why isn't what I'm doing 462 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 6: right now? Just like enough? There's always just this feeling 463 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 6: of like we should be onto the next and doing more, 464 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 6: and like I'm over that. 465 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 2: Right, I guess what I'm trying to get to is 466 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 2: I'm almost like, because we've had this conversation so much, 467 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,639 Speaker 2: I just had it in therapy too, where I'm like 468 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:51,800 Speaker 2: sometimes when I say I love being content, but then 469 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:56,000 Speaker 2: that's also content, it's a negative and a positive thing 470 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,359 Speaker 2: for me. Right, So I'm like, I feel positive being content, 471 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 2: I feel negative being content just depends on which mood 472 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:04,919 Speaker 2: I'm at. Right, So when you say, like, Okay, you 473 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,119 Speaker 2: can't have it all, but really like right now you 474 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,119 Speaker 2: have it all and it's great and you're happy with 475 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 2: where you're at, but. 476 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 6: I don't have it all. 477 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,240 Speaker 4: Like I you know, I could be a better wife, 478 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 4: I could be a better friend. 479 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 6: I could respond to. 480 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:22,439 Speaker 4: You know, my family's texts more. I could you know, 481 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 4: socialize more, but I don't, Like there are areas of 482 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 4: my life that are that are that are lacking a 483 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 4: little bit because I'm it's on other things. 484 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:36,680 Speaker 5: Yeah, Like, you can't be perfect in every single aspect 485 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:37,240 Speaker 5: of your life. 486 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 2: You can't fill all the cups of everything of being 487 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 2: like in this season, okay, I'm like you said, I'm 488 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,840 Speaker 2: not the greatest friend or whatever, like where I got 489 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,120 Speaker 2: to return this So it's like the cups aren't always full. 490 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 5: Yeah, absolutely, I just don't see. I don't I've never 491 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 5: thought that that's possible. I mean, that sounds terrible, and 492 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,959 Speaker 5: I think that that is and has a negative I'm 493 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 5: glad y'all talk about it, because I don't feel like 494 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 5: I've ever had that conversation with anyone and would admit that. 495 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 5: I don't think that I could be perfect at everything 496 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:05,719 Speaker 5: or great at everything. 497 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 2: I just said the other day that I feel like 498 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:11,879 Speaker 2: I'm doing eighty percent of my life seventy percent. Well, yeah, 499 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 2: I'm just not nailing it right. But also I'm too 500 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,200 Speaker 2: tired to like go all in in any other areas 501 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 2: right now. 502 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,879 Speaker 5: But I think that's kind of your point, ye, like 503 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 5: why do we have to be why do we have 504 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 5: to be great at every single thing? 505 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:25,560 Speaker 4: You know? 506 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,119 Speaker 3: Like that's that's just not reality. I don't think. 507 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,439 Speaker 6: I think it's just the book. Really. I hope that 508 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,440 Speaker 6: people read it and feel like. 509 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,639 Speaker 4: Ugh, I think that too. I feel that too. I 510 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,160 Speaker 4: get mom guilt about that too. 511 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:39,360 Speaker 6: Oh my gosh. 512 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,399 Speaker 4: Yeah, social media makes me feel insecure or like I 513 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 4: should be doing this a B or C. And I 514 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 4: hope that when people read it, they give themselves grace 515 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 4: and kind of just feel like, yeah, you know, like. 516 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 3: G it, I'd love that attitude. 517 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 5: I'm not really out where I am at in my life, 518 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,240 Speaker 5: so it took me a while to get there, but 519 00:22:59,280 --> 00:22:59,920 Speaker 5: I'm about there. 520 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,639 Speaker 2: So let me ask you this, did this start of 521 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,399 Speaker 2: this like pressure off movement for you? Did it start 522 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:09,439 Speaker 2: with the release from vander Pump or did it like 523 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,000 Speaker 2: when did the shift start for you? 524 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,880 Speaker 4: I think, you know, twenty twenty, also with COVID two, 525 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,920 Speaker 4: and then also just like having kids, it's like everything 526 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,440 Speaker 4: happened at once, and you know, during COVID, we were 527 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 4: just like stuck at home, and I had tied so 528 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:29,919 Speaker 4: much of my like self worth in how much I 529 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 4: was working and accomplishing. 530 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 6: You know, I grew it. 531 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,959 Speaker 4: Was like that growing up. Like however, you know, the 532 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,440 Speaker 4: more I did in school, the better I felt about myself. 533 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:41,359 Speaker 4: And then during COVID, I had to I wasn't allowed 534 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 4: to do a lot of things. We none of us were, 535 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,800 Speaker 4: and so I had to find the joy in the 536 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 4: little things in life. And that's also helped me realize 537 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 4: that like oh, like striving for more and constantly wanting 538 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,800 Speaker 4: more and thinking about what more I can do isn't 539 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 4: the way I like want to live all the time, Like. 540 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,520 Speaker 6: I want to find the joy in the little things. 541 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 2: Where is that for you in life? Is it with 542 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 2: your kids? Is it with your family? Is it within working? 543 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,720 Speaker 2: Like what is the where does the most of the 544 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,800 Speaker 2: joy for you come from? 545 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,880 Speaker 4: Oh? No? When I say like little things like obviously 546 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 4: my family is like my children and my husband one 547 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,720 Speaker 4: hundred percent, But like it can be something so insignificant 548 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:29,000 Speaker 4: as like having an iced macha just like that tastes 549 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,120 Speaker 4: really good at three pm and just being like it's 550 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 4: really relaxing right now and I'm like really enjoying this 551 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,000 Speaker 4: and I'm being present. 552 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,600 Speaker 6: And it's just like life's good. 553 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,880 Speaker 4: It's like, oh a show came on that I don't 554 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 4: have to wait another week for it. It came all 555 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 4: out at the same time, Like I get to. 556 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,959 Speaker 6: Binge it over the next three days. Like what a 557 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:52,760 Speaker 6: glorious life is that? Like it's really just like specific 558 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:53,800 Speaker 6: little things. 559 00:24:54,800 --> 00:25:11,880 Speaker 2: Like being on this podcast right now. To in your book, 560 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 2: what was the hardest chapter for you to write that 561 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 2: were you struggle in the not having it all area? 562 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 4: Well, the hardest chapter to write was the chapter about 563 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:27,480 Speaker 4: mental health because I was. It's something I really haven't 564 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:32,679 Speaker 4: discussed fully, like at length, and it's dark and I 565 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 4: felt really vulnerable, and. 566 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 6: That is just that was tough. 567 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,119 Speaker 4: It's even hard to like talk about it in a 568 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 4: podcast or like talking about it with people. I think 569 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:47,200 Speaker 4: it was It's like, Okay, wrote it down, it's on paper, 570 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,600 Speaker 4: It's out there, like people can read it and hopefully 571 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,200 Speaker 4: feel less. 572 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 6: Alone or connect with it. And I'm like I buried 573 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 6: it or like I've put it to bed, you know 574 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 6: what I mean. 575 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,400 Speaker 2: Was it from a specific incident, like from being it 576 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:07,119 Speaker 2: was it on the show or like social media? Was 577 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 2: that where the feeling of the darkness came from? Was 578 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:11,880 Speaker 2: it connected to that? 579 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,440 Speaker 4: No, it's heavy, It didn't come from the show. It's 580 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 4: just something you know, I've struggled with certain parts of 581 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:22,160 Speaker 4: you know, my mental health since I was eighteen years old, 582 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:26,159 Speaker 4: and you know, there was a long period of time 583 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 4: that I engaged in self harm and that something that 584 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,800 Speaker 4: I wrote about finally at length. 585 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,440 Speaker 1: And that's what that is. 586 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 4: That was difficult. 587 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean to be able to write that, I 588 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 2: mean there was I can kind of relate in a 589 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 2: small way. When I wrote my book. It was when 590 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 2: I had to do the audio recording of things was 591 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:51,439 Speaker 2: it was really hard to write in the book something 592 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 2: things that I've never shared with anyone, but then to 593 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,119 Speaker 2: have to say it. I mean, it took me like 594 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 2: a few times to be like, I don't actually even 595 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,159 Speaker 2: want to read this part. Can someone else read it? 596 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,880 Speaker 2: Because it's it's hard to go back there, especially when 597 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,600 Speaker 2: you're you know, you're you're at where you're at right now, 598 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 2: and it's those memories are are tough to to go 599 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 2: back to. 600 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so funny that you say that because recording 601 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:18,200 Speaker 4: the audiobook, Because when I recorded this one, I had 602 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:22,679 Speaker 4: to force myself to just have zero emotion, Like I 603 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,920 Speaker 4: had to make an active choice to be like stoic, 604 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:27,680 Speaker 4: I need to just get through. 605 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,960 Speaker 6: This and just read it. That's it. 606 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,199 Speaker 4: I'm not going to try and feel it. I just 607 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,680 Speaker 4: want to get it out there. It's just something that's 608 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,320 Speaker 4: just really hard to talk about. 609 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,399 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very brave of you to do that, Thank you, 610 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 2: And it's also really needed. And I know that that's 611 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,120 Speaker 2: probably really hard. But like I think that this perception 612 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,320 Speaker 2: that comes with Instagram, like you're saying like we're taking 613 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:50,879 Speaker 2: the pressure off, is because when we can get a 614 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,800 Speaker 2: little vulnerable and realize, like people as stunning as you, 615 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 2: as talented as you, with like family, can experience something 616 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,119 Speaker 2: like that. Like that's the bravery we really need, especially 617 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:05,639 Speaker 2: in a book that is about like just actually enjoying 618 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,400 Speaker 2: your life for five seconds instead of us like consistently 619 00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,639 Speaker 2: chasing after something. Well, you know what I think is 620 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,879 Speaker 2: an interesting piece too, just like from hearing you know 621 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,199 Speaker 2: you share that and then you talking about it is 622 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,359 Speaker 2: the things that I have a hard time talking about. 623 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,600 Speaker 2: I'm now questioning why what is it? 624 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 1: Is it shame? Is it like? 625 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 2: And what what peace? Do I struggle with sharing? And 626 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 2: like cause it's like I don't talk a lot about 627 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 2: my domestic abuse background, like you know with my abauty 628 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 2: it's and I'm like, is it shame? 629 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 1: Is it fear? 630 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,080 Speaker 2: Is? And like and I'm like literally thinking here, I'm like, 631 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,720 Speaker 2: why why do I struggle? Like every time in an 632 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 2: interview I start that's the one that like I have 633 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,960 Speaker 2: a hard time talking about, or I'll start crying or 634 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 2: I'm like what what piece is that in that? And 635 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 2: I'm like and I don't I don't even know which 636 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,480 Speaker 2: one it is? Is it shame? Is it fear? Is 637 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 2: it sadness? Is it broke? I'm like, I don't it's 638 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 2: it's I don't know. It's an interesting thing to to open. 639 00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 5: Up all of it. 640 00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 6: It's all of it. 641 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,400 Speaker 4: And then there's also just like it's the feeling of 642 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 4: like being like humiliated, like ugh, it's all of it. 643 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,520 Speaker 2: Well, And I do think as you get older and 644 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,479 Speaker 2: you heal and you identify things, you start to build 645 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 2: a more of a protection around them for yourself, so 646 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,760 Speaker 2: like you don't want to be hurting yourself all over 647 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 2: again by going back into it. I think part of 648 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:23,880 Speaker 2: it is a beautiful protection that we create for ourselves. 649 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 2: Like you know, I mean it's been twenty years since 650 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 2: I was with my abuser, and it's like but it's 651 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,120 Speaker 2: almost like a sadness for the little girl, That's what 652 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 2: I'm saying, you know. 653 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's so interesting. 654 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,760 Speaker 2: I think it's just beautiful. Though. I'm really proud of you. 655 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 2: I just want to say it one more time. 656 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 6: Thank you. Sorry to bring down y'all's vibe. 657 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,200 Speaker 2: It's never no no, this is our vibe the real time. 658 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 3: This is the real talk. 659 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 6: Yeah. 660 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 2: Do you wonder so you're going back into reality world? Right? 661 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 2: Is that true? We're allowed to know that. 662 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 4: Correct, Yes, I can't way details, but yeah. 663 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:00,000 Speaker 2: Okay, well we also like detail. 664 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 1: I really want you personally, I know. 665 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:04,600 Speaker 2: I heard a rumor that you maybe you've said it, 666 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,520 Speaker 2: I don't know, but I read it or heard it 667 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,880 Speaker 2: that you turned down The Valley and I personally love 668 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 2: The Valley. That was like the one show that I 669 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,000 Speaker 2: actually really got into. And then I started to go, Okay, 670 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 2: who said this? Who said what? And I'm trying to 671 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 2: now peace now I want to go back to watch 672 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,440 Speaker 2: the other shows. But I really did enjoy that. And 673 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:25,040 Speaker 2: then you know, I also, you know, heard other things 674 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 2: and like, are okay, are you close with you know, Jackson, 675 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,000 Speaker 2: Brittany because they're all out there. So but then I 676 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 2: like feel bad asking those questions because I'm like, I 677 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,400 Speaker 2: also hate it when people dive into my personal life. 678 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 3: So so you're gonna look at me and ask me. 679 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:42,680 Speaker 2: I don't know the answers, but I'm like, where do 680 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,120 Speaker 2: you stand with like your certain castmates. 681 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,760 Speaker 6: No, I don't really talk to the two. 682 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:53,400 Speaker 4: I have some you know, some friends who you know, 683 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,240 Speaker 4: we're still on Van or Pump Rules and stuff like that, 684 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 4: but you know, the Valley wasn't for me. I like 685 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 4: knew it in my soul that it wasn't going to 686 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:03,520 Speaker 4: be for me. 687 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, well hey, we got to listen to that. 688 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,960 Speaker 2: So is this an instant yes, when you got brought 689 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 2: this opportunity? Did this feel more comfortable? Was this like 690 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:12,479 Speaker 2: a I can do this. 691 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 4: I wasn't bad the opportunity. I created the opportunity. 692 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,600 Speaker 3: So it feels that's good for you. 693 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,000 Speaker 2: We love we love that move. 694 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 3: Create it for yourself, that's right, paid by you. 695 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's also how you guard yourself. Well yeah yeah, 696 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 2: and make it what you needed to make it to 697 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 2: preserve your joy and all those things you worked so 698 00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:33,920 Speaker 2: hard to have. 699 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 3: I love it. Okay, So what's okay? So this is next? 700 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:44,360 Speaker 5: We've got the reality show is next, and everyone asks 701 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,320 Speaker 5: what's next? Right, so I know that we hate that question. 702 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 2: By the book that's next. Bye the book, Bye. 703 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,200 Speaker 3: The book, which is out now right? 704 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,920 Speaker 2: Yes, So what is your favorite chapter that you wrote 705 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 2: in the book. 706 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:02,000 Speaker 4: I would say the girl Failure chapter because I feel 707 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,440 Speaker 4: like failure is such a scary thing for all of us, 708 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,240 Speaker 4: and it sucks when it happens to us. 709 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 6: But failure is like really. 710 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:16,080 Speaker 4: The main place where there's an opportunity to be either 711 00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,400 Speaker 4: who you want to be or be something different, do 712 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:22,440 Speaker 4: something different. Because when you're just like you know, on 713 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,640 Speaker 4: top of the world, you don't think to change anything 714 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:27,320 Speaker 4: because you don't want to rock the boat, so you 715 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 4: kind of just stay where you're at. But when you 716 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,560 Speaker 4: feel like you're at a moment of failure or rock bottom, 717 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:36,400 Speaker 4: like that's when magic happens. So like, I think that's 718 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:37,200 Speaker 4: my favorite chapter. 719 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean I one thousand percent agree with 720 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:45,040 Speaker 2: with that piece. Like my biggest, most favorite lessons were 721 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 2: when I was the most broken and at rock bottom. 722 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,680 Speaker 2: The rebuilding that's when you grow, and that's when you 723 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,720 Speaker 2: that's the planting of the new seed is what my 724 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:56,440 Speaker 2: therapists always you know, talked about. So I love that piece. 725 00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,960 Speaker 2: All right, well now I'm going to read the book. Sorry, 726 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,240 Speaker 2: MoMA three. As you know, it's it's hard balancing it 727 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,000 Speaker 2: all because I. 728 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:05,840 Speaker 1: Can't have it all, so I can't I can't I 729 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:06,320 Speaker 1: can't do. 730 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 3: It all, so we can't read the book. 731 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, yes, So I mean last question, like, as 732 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,000 Speaker 2: you know, as you're juggling things, what is it kind 733 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,240 Speaker 2: of your tip for the moms that are also juggling 734 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 2: all the pieces too. 735 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 4: Oh you know, I think that you don't have to 736 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 4: be doing it at one hundred percent, you know what 737 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,360 Speaker 4: I mean. It's okay if you like, give your kid 738 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,520 Speaker 4: a cake pop for breakfast, It's okay. 739 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 2: Those love cake pops around here. The birthday cake pops 740 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,640 Speaker 2: at Starbucks are our jam. So if you've ever tried 741 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:40,040 Speaker 2: to make them, don't try now through that Starbucks drive through. 742 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:41,719 Speaker 1: Awesome. 743 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 2: I love it all right, Well everyone, you can't have 744 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,959 Speaker 2: it all the basic bitch guye to taking the pressure 745 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:47,920 Speaker 2: off as available now. 746 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:49,400 Speaker 6: Thank you guys so much. 747 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,480 Speaker 1: Thank thank you so much for coming on. 748 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 6: Y'all have a good day, all right. 749 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,960 Speaker 2: I totally knew what you were saying about the what's next? 750 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,120 Speaker 2: I feel like it is always the question. She did 751 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 2: like start it being like. 752 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 5: Yeah, well, then I wanted to be like, what's next, 753 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 5: and I was like, well, crap, or I can't ask 754 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,080 Speaker 5: that question. I was trying to see what else she 755 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,200 Speaker 5: had on the horizon. But I get it, Like, for instance, 756 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,600 Speaker 5: it's a very good example. Like when I went out 757 00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,239 Speaker 5: on my own to start working with you, everyone would 758 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:15,920 Speaker 5: ask me, where are you going to get new clients? 759 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,480 Speaker 3: Are you going to do this? What's next? Where are 760 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:17,840 Speaker 3: you going to do? 761 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:19,920 Speaker 5: And I finally I was like, no, I'm great, I'm happy, 762 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,319 Speaker 5: I'm glad, I'm happy with what I'm doing. It's just 763 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,879 Speaker 5: a natural question. Again, I asked her the same question 764 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,399 Speaker 5: after talking about it. Everyone wants to know what you're 765 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,560 Speaker 5: doing next, and so I understand where she's coming from 766 00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:31,919 Speaker 5: where it's like, can't I just be doing what I'm 767 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 5: doing and not have to have something next and have 768 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:34,919 Speaker 5: to have something more? 769 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:37,400 Speaker 2: I wonder how many brides here on their wedding day? 770 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,080 Speaker 2: So when are you guys gonna start having kids? Not 771 00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:44,279 Speaker 2: hearing me from the question exception, but you know, like 772 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:48,160 Speaker 2: it's it's that chest engage, engage, when's the wedding, you're married, 773 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:49,000 Speaker 2: when's the baby? 774 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,120 Speaker 5: It's kind of just society though I don't think it's 775 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 5: anyone's intention. 776 00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:56,720 Speaker 2: But I think that's also probably why that anxiety fills 777 00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,520 Speaker 2: in the people that feel like they always have to 778 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,560 Speaker 2: have something. I always have to feel I have to 779 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,239 Speaker 2: have something. Yeah, you totally, So it's like. 780 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 5: A well, I think that's why this title can be 781 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,719 Speaker 5: a little triggering for some people, because a lot of 782 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,880 Speaker 5: people really love the you can do it all, you know, 783 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,040 Speaker 5: And so I can see where that's a little difficult 784 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,840 Speaker 5: for what she's saying, because working moms don't want to 785 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:18,439 Speaker 5: be told they can't have it all. But I don't 786 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:20,080 Speaker 5: think that that's necessarily what she's saying. 787 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, And yeah, it's tough. It's a tricky 788 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:26,200 Speaker 2: one because it's like, I definitely agree with what she's saying, 789 00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,160 Speaker 2: and at the same time, I'm like, you can have 790 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,319 Speaker 2: it all, but it's you're not percentagely equaling it out. 791 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 2: It's basically what she's saying. So it's exactly then, you know, 792 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,280 Speaker 2: the title just makes it a little hard. 793 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,799 Speaker 5: Yeah, in my opinion, it's kind of like, wait, wait, wait, 794 00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,160 Speaker 5: you're telling me I can't work and have kids, you know, 795 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:43,440 Speaker 5: but that's not I don't. 796 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:47,879 Speaker 2: Think yeah exactly, I'm going to read yeah, Yeah, I'm 797 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 2: going to let you know, I think yeah, because I 798 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,560 Speaker 2: definitely think it's one of those things where you know, 799 00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 2: when I when I look at it, it honestly depends on 800 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,120 Speaker 2: what mood I'm in, right, because sometimes I'm like, I 801 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,239 Speaker 2: can't have it all. I can't I because today's you know, 802 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:06,080 Speaker 2: I've got a I had so many things happening and 803 00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:09,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't physically fit in everything I need 804 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,240 Speaker 2: to do today. Nope, So I can't have it all today. 805 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,080 Speaker 2: Yeah tomorrow, I'm going to feel like I can have 806 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,000 Speaker 2: it all today. Like I just I have like that 807 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:20,239 Speaker 2: positive and negative feeling for it when it comes to 808 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,200 Speaker 2: having it and not having it, and then feel that 809 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,319 Speaker 2: way with a fresh ships right now, Like I'm like, 810 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,840 Speaker 2: people are like I want to go, Like I have 811 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:29,520 Speaker 2: a sweet girlfriend that wrote to me was like I 812 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:30,920 Speaker 2: would love to go get lunch, and I'm like. 813 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,080 Speaker 1: October, like I don't. 814 00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,640 Speaker 2: I would too, like honestly twenty twenty five, Like I 815 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:38,239 Speaker 2: just am like I don't even and it's hard that 816 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,480 Speaker 2: I'm but it's a weird. I also, I'm just prioritizing 817 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,640 Speaker 2: having a minute. I don't like rush, I don't. 818 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:46,640 Speaker 5: Like to stack, and that's where we can't be one 819 00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:47,880 Speaker 5: hundred percent in every aspect. 820 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:50,520 Speaker 2: That's where I can't have it all. Yeah, exactly to 821 00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:53,080 Speaker 2: her point, So everyone go grab her book. It's available now. 822 00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:53,920 Speaker 2: You can't have it all