1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,320 Speaker 1: My grandma will say things like your mom would have 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,720 Speaker 1: thought this was so cool. Your mom would have been 3 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:06,920 Speaker 1: like in the front row, and I go, I don't 4 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,039 Speaker 1: know that I'd be doing this if mom was still here. 5 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: I don't know. It's so strange to be sad that 6 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,640 Speaker 1: a parent isn't here to see your success, but also 7 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,959 Speaker 1: know that a big reason you're successful is this drive 8 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:33,159 Speaker 1: to become somebody they would have been proud of. Hey, everyone, 9 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,520 Speaker 1: welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast 10 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,959 Speaker 1: in the world. Thanks to each and every single one 11 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: of you that come back every week to listen, learn 12 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:44,279 Speaker 1: and grow. Now you know that I get to sit 13 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 1: down with a lot of exciting, interesting, fascinating people. But 14 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,480 Speaker 1: sometimes there's someone that I reach out to that I'm 15 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 1: just a huge fan of. And actually it was my 16 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 1: dear friend Adam Grant who gave me an excuse to 17 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 1: reach out to this individual with an opportunity that he 18 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 1: had for O I even forgot what it was, and 19 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 1: he's been an amazing guest on the podcast too. Just 20 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: gave me an excuse to DM her and say, Hey, Taylor, 21 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: would you like to do this thing? Which is my 22 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: way of sneaking in and saying, Hey, can you come 23 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: on the podcast too. I've been a huge fan of 24 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: Today's Guest since her first special. Her Instagram or social media, 25 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:23,479 Speaker 1: her TikTok's incredible. I have sent her videos to my wife, 26 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 1: my family, my friends, my trainer this morning. I mean, 27 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,400 Speaker 1: she's one of those people that as soon as I 28 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: watch her, I start laughing. I learned something new, and 29 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,039 Speaker 1: I just feel an incredible sense of joy. And in 30 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 1: a few moments that she's walked into my home and 31 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: into our studio, I love her even more. I'm speaking 32 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: about the one and only Taylor Tomlinson, who began performing 33 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: comedy when she was sixteen after her father signed her 34 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 1: up for a stand up class. She became a top 35 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 1: ten finalist on the ninth season of NBC's Last Comics 36 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 1: Standing in twenty fifteen, and was named one of the 37 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: top ten comics to Watch by Variety at the twenty 38 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: nineteen Just for Laughs Festival. Her first Netflix stand up special, 39 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,519 Speaker 1: which is Where I Discovered Her Quarter Life Crisis, premiered 40 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 1: in March twenty twenty. In twenty twenty one, she started 41 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: her own podcast called Sad in the City, and in 42 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 1: the same year, she was placed on the Forbes thirty 43 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,800 Speaker 1: Under thirty List. Now, her second stand up special, look 44 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 1: at You, is now streaming on Netflix. I want you 45 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: to go and watch it straight after this, and she 46 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: will be at the La Netflix Comedy Festival show at 47 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 1: the Eighth Theater on May sixth, twenty twenty two, so 48 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: make sure you grab some tickets. Welcome to the show, Taylor, Tomlinson, Taylor, 49 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: thank you so much, Thank you so much. We were 50 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: just talking about this before we started recording, but I 51 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 1: was like, what am I doing here? Like, truly, your 52 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: podcast is just full of so many interesting, wise people 53 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: teaching you how to live a better life, and so 54 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,359 Speaker 1: to come in as a stand up comedian and You're like, 55 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:04,640 Speaker 1: I can't wait to learn things from you. I'm like, yeah, absolutely, 56 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: I have so much to teach. I'm coming into this 57 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: fully hoping to I almost brought a notebook to take notes, 58 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,239 Speaker 1: because that's how I feel every time I listen to 59 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 1: your podcast or watch any of your tech talks. Like 60 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 1: I am still thinking about the video where you talk 61 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: about checking your phone first thing in the morning, where 62 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,519 Speaker 1: you're like you wouldn't just have a hundred people come 63 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 1: into your bedroom, And I'm like, oh, my God, that's 64 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: exactly what you're doing every morning, and I'm still terrible 65 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: at it, and I do it every morning, but every 66 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 1: time I do it, I think about you telling me 67 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: not to. Yeah, well, I genuinely feel that. Not only 68 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: do I laugh at everything you put out, I mean 69 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 1: I can name my top three favorite moments in your 70 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 1: special easily. I think for me, I also learned from 71 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: you because I think what you do so phenomenally well, 72 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 1: especially when it comes to love and relationships, but also 73 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:00,120 Speaker 1: life is You're able to get inside people's minds as 74 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: to how they think about situations and how they navigate 75 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 1: relationships and how they make certain decisions in their life. 76 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: And so I do think you teach. I'm not expecting 77 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: you to teach. I want to laugh with you today. 78 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: I want to get to know you better. This was 79 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: just an excuse for me to be a fan and 80 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: for me to hang out with someone that I admire 81 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: and adore so much, and genuinely, from even a few 82 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: moments we've spent, I'm just so happy meeting you, and 83 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 1: I hope this kicks off a wonderful friendship. So that's 84 00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: kind of why I do this whole podcast, is to 85 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: be able to lure people into being friends with me. 86 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 1: But I'm so excited. I want to start by talking 87 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: about a lot of your journey because I think I 88 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: discovered you, like I said, through your first special, you've 89 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 1: been doing this for a lot longer than that. And 90 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 1: then I kind of went backwards and I was like, oh, 91 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: wait a minute, like this person's incredible and it's such 92 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 1: a fascinating story. And I am interested in stories because 93 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,920 Speaker 1: what we were just talking about now that sometimes when 94 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: you see someone second Netflix special sold out tours, like 95 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,600 Speaker 1: you look at that person, Oh yeah, that they've they've 96 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: always been that way. And when I look at you, 97 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: I go, wait, wait a minute. Your father signed you 98 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: up for a stand up class. Why did he do that? 99 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: That sounds like a painful thing for a father to do. 100 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: I think a woman at our church wanted to do 101 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: it and she told him about it, and then he 102 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 1: brought me along thinking I could write for him maybe 103 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: like oh wow, he was like more of a performer. 104 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,480 Speaker 1: So I'm very glad he did, you know, for whatever reason. 105 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: And yeah, it is a very strange thing because I didn't. 106 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 1: I didn't get into this super intentionally, like it was 107 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 1: something I sort of fell into as a result of 108 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,240 Speaker 1: just this one woman going I think I'm going to 109 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: take the stand up class because she was like a 110 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 1: retired school teacher and did some public speaking events and 111 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,359 Speaker 1: wanted to inject some humor into it. So it's funny 112 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:57,160 Speaker 1: how something as small as that, like an after service conversation, 113 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 1: just snowballed into my entire life, my entire career. And 114 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: you and I were talking earlier about just you being 115 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 1: very young as well, and you being so successful in 116 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 1: what you do, and how it seems like, you know, 117 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,720 Speaker 1: maybe you've only been doing this for five years online, 118 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: and You're like, but I've been doing this. There's seventeen 119 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 1: years before that that I was teaching and interviewing and learning, 120 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: and I've had all these life experiences. And I think 121 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 1: a lot of people look at my career similarly sometimes 122 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 1: where they go, well, you you blew up very quickly, 123 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: or you got all these opportunities very quickly, And I 124 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: think I feel very self conscious about that sometimes because 125 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 1: twenty eight is very lucky and young to have two 126 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 1: Netflix specials. It was not something I ever anticipated achieving 127 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,599 Speaker 1: at this age. I've just been very fortunate. But then 128 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: I think back to when I actually started, and I'm like, oh, 129 00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 1: I've been doing this for twelve years, yes, so okay, 130 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:04,839 Speaker 1: it's not like I just started yesterday. But I think 131 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:09,280 Speaker 1: when you are younger than what people expect from someone 132 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 1: doing what you do, there can sometimes be a little 133 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: bit of like, oh, well, it's just been easy. Yeah, 134 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 1: you just did it. Yeah. But I also find it 135 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: it's quite an untraditional journey. And it's so funny because 136 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: we shared that my parents forced me to go to 137 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: a public speaking class and drama class when I was 138 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: eleven years old because they thought I was too shy 139 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: and I didn't have any confidence, and so my parents 140 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: signed me up to LANDA, which is the London Academy 141 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: of Music, Drama and Arts. And they said they forced 142 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 1: the school to allow me in because they missed the 143 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: sign up date or something like that, and they like 144 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: begged and pleaded with one of the teachers saying, we 145 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: really need our son to do this because he's shy 146 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 1: and he doesn't have confidence. And now I look back 147 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: and I think, wow, my parents made this amazing decision 148 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: just like you said. That has impacted my whole life, 149 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,040 Speaker 1: and I think I would I wouldn't have had that 150 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 1: opportunity if I didn't do that. So but even for you, 151 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: it's it's off to sermon off the service conversation like 152 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 1: that sounds very untraditional, at least from my external ignorance. Oh. Absolutely, 153 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: It's the thing people ask about the most because it's 154 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 1: it's not an origin story. I think many stand up 155 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 1: comedians have, and if they do have it, they are 156 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: generally still in the church world because there is a 157 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: there is a comedy church circus. I mean, yeah, it's 158 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 1: it's a different it's a different path that I did 159 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: not choose to go down. Um, but yeah, I mean 160 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:42,839 Speaker 1: it's there are so many different ways to do stand 161 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 1: up professionally. I think that's what we forget. Like I 162 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,440 Speaker 1: also had a year in my early twenties where I 163 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:52,079 Speaker 1: did like eight cruise ship weeks, which is a whole 164 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 1: other thing, and there are comedians who only do that. 165 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 1: Like I feel like I've been very fortunate in my 166 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: career that I have experienced kind of a lot of 167 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: different pockets of this industry that is more than just 168 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 1: getting the Netflix special, getting the HBO special. I've done 169 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:16,359 Speaker 1: corporates and I've done colleges. That's how I went full time. Initially, 170 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 1: when I was twenty one or twenty is, I was 171 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,079 Speaker 1: doing all these college gigs. That's why I dropped out 172 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: of college to go perform at colleges, which is sort 173 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,679 Speaker 1: of funny, and cruise ships and churches. Yeah, I mean 174 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 1: I've I've kind of done everything you could do, and 175 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 1: then also all the bars and strange shows you do 176 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 1: in backyards and whatnot. So yeah, it's there's a lot 177 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:43,080 Speaker 1: of different places to exist and do what you love 178 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: to do. It's not just this one path that you 179 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 1: see on TV or in movies or documentaries. So I 180 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,679 Speaker 1: think that's important for people to know as well who 181 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 1: want to do something creative, whatever that may be, that 182 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: it can look like a lot of different things. Yeah, definitely, 183 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: And I think you know on this podcast that we 184 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:05,200 Speaker 1: try and get into the psychology and mindset and the 185 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: way people make shifts. And what I find fascinating about 186 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 1: stand up comedy and what you do is that it 187 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 1: really requires you to overcome some base fears, like the 188 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 1: fears of what will people think, how will I look, 189 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:22,560 Speaker 1: how will I be received? These are huge fears, and personally, 190 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 1: I think stand up comics face one of the hardest 191 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 1: things because it's like you're introducing this person is going 192 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: to make you laugh, and this person is funny, and 193 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 1: then it's like it's the expectation is so much higher. 194 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,200 Speaker 1: Talk to me about that first time or maybe something 195 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: you learned in that stand up class that started to 196 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: be that you started to be okay with that fear 197 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,200 Speaker 1: and dealing with that or did you never feel that 198 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,679 Speaker 1: fear at all? Oh? I was terrified. I mean, do 199 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 1: you feel like you were shy? Yeah? I was like it, 200 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: like definitely massively. How long did it take for you 201 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 1: to sort of feel like you weren't Or do you 202 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 1: still feel on a base level you're shy and you've 203 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 1: just figured out how to not act that way? Yeah? 204 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 1: I find that. So from eleven to eighteen, I went 205 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: to public speaking of drama school, and those years gave 206 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: me the skills, but I didn't have anything I was 207 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 1: passionate to talk about until I lived as a monk, 208 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,280 Speaker 1: until I understood the wisdom the vaders that I studied 209 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,840 Speaker 1: and now I share. So to me, it was almost 210 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 1: like you have a tool kit, but I never used 211 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: it because I still didn't feel confident. I actually got 212 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: confidence because of what I was sharing I have so 213 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 1: much more faith and confidence in the ideas I share 214 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 1: than I do even in myself, and I think that's 215 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 1: what gives me so much excitement and enthusiasm. But having 216 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 1: said that now, I would say that even today, I 217 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,720 Speaker 1: feel really confident when on one on one with someone 218 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 1: and when we both know what role we play. But 219 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 1: if I turn up to a random event that isn't 220 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 1: my event, that is someone else's event, I will just 221 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,720 Speaker 1: try and find one person that I can have a 222 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 1: really deep intimate conversation with, as opposed to go up 223 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: to everyone and introduce myself and make sure that everyone 224 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: knows I came to them. I'm not like that because 225 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 1: I feel more comfortable getting to know someone deeply. So 226 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,000 Speaker 1: I would still consider myself if it's my event, I'm 227 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: not shy because I know what role I play there 228 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,080 Speaker 1: and I'm doing something. But I would say I'm shy 229 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 1: when I'm at an event where I don't have a role. 230 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 1: Does that make sense, Yeah, absolutely so. I think that 231 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,040 Speaker 1: I think that is on a base level. I'm an introvert. 232 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 1: I feel the exact same way, and I felt like 233 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: that for years and I still feel that way. I 234 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 1: think a lot of social anxiety. I think that when 235 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 1: I started doing stand up, I always liked performing, but 236 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 1: I once I found stand up, I was like, Oh, 237 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 1: this is where I feel the best is on stage 238 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 1: doing this thing. This is where I feel like myself. 239 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: And actually, when I first started doing stand up, I 240 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 1: felt like the version of myself that I was on 241 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 1: stage was who I wanted to be in life all 242 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,560 Speaker 1: the time, but I couldn't because I was too shy 243 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: and I didn't have the confidence. And then at a 244 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: certain point it became more true to who I was 245 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 1: out in the world. And now I'm at this weird 246 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 1: place where I'm like, is that even me? Is that 247 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,560 Speaker 1: the most is that the purest version of me? Is 248 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 1: that the most sort of polished version of me? Like, 249 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: it's very strange to be in this business and see 250 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,240 Speaker 1: so many videos of yourself and so many photos of yourself, 251 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,880 Speaker 1: and it can feel very like dysmorphic, where you're like, 252 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: who who am is that? Who is that? That's not me? 253 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: Especially when you're you are achieving these goals you've always had, Like, 254 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 1: you know, when I got on Conan or something like, 255 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,680 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm in the thing I've been watching 256 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,160 Speaker 1: for years since I was a kid, and you're it's 257 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 1: sort of this strange out of body experience, but I was. 258 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: I was terrified of performing when I first started doing 259 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 1: stand up. I mean I felt sick, like physically sick 260 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: for days before I went on stage. How did you 261 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,679 Speaker 1: push through that? Like, how did you get through that? 262 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: I just loved it so much that I I just 263 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 1: wanted to do it more than I was scared to 264 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: do it, which is sort of how you have to 265 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: be if you are somebody who's not naturally extroverted or 266 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 1: what have you. And I think really what helped is 267 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: once I graduated high school and was doing stand up 268 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 1: consistently in San Diego. Once you're doing multiple spots a night, 269 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 1: it takes less pressure off of it and you don't 270 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: have as much time to be nervous. Kase, I'm sure 271 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: you feel the same way where you're like I do 272 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 1: a podcast every other day, Like I'm not gonna get 273 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 1: nervous to meet somebody new again. It's a muscle. It's 274 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: really just a muscle. And if I don't go on 275 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 1: stage for a few weeks, which doesn't really happen, like 276 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 1: when we had Lockdown and I didn't go on stage 277 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: for five six months. The first time back on stage, 278 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: even for a zoom audience, was terrifying, like it'll come 279 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,280 Speaker 1: rushing right back. It's not like I'm like, oh, I'll 280 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 1: just go on stage and I get nervous to do 281 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 1: spots in town. I get nervous to try new stuff. 282 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,760 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so lucky to be on this tour 283 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 1: where people have paid money to see me, specifically, because 284 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 1: for years it wasn't like that. For years it was 285 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:33,560 Speaker 1: people got free tickets or they got barked into a 286 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 1: club in a mall and they were like, yeah, we'll 287 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 1: go see comedy and maybe it's not what I want, 288 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:42,120 Speaker 1: but we'll check it out. We'll give it a chance. Obviously, 289 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 1: all of that makes it a little easier to go 290 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 1: out on stage and know you have that grace period 291 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 1: at the very least. But I think just the consistency 292 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:56,520 Speaker 1: and knowing that you can do the job, that's where 293 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 1: you get the confidence, and like you said, you have 294 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 1: more confidence in what you're saying. When I was first 295 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: starting out, I was a teenager. I didn't feel like 296 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:09,320 Speaker 1: I could talk about anything with any sort of yeah 297 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,400 Speaker 1: I and then I started talking about the fact that 298 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: I had no wisdom or experience, and that's what quarter 299 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: life crisis is. Because I was like, what am I 300 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 1: going to talk about? How about the fact that I 301 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:23,200 Speaker 1: don't know anything? And so many people came up to 302 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: me after shows going, oh, my gosh, that's exactly how 303 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 1: I feel. I don't know what I'm doing. I hate 304 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: being this age. It's so confusing because I had always 305 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: just assumed everyone's having a great time and their twenties, 306 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,240 Speaker 1: everybody's killing it. And I didn't have a traditional college 307 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 1: experience because I dropped out to do stand up, so 308 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: I didn't feel like I was doing my youth correctly. Yeah, 309 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 1: And so to start talking about that on stage, thinking 310 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 1: it was like a new angle, and then to have 311 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: everyone go, oh, we feel the exact same way, even 312 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 1: like people who looked like they were killing it in 313 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 1: that area, or I'm like, you look like you go 314 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: out on the weekend and everything's awesome for you was 315 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 1: really validating for me. And the same with the new 316 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 1: special Look at You. I mean, so much of it 317 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:12,119 Speaker 1: is about my own struggles with mental health and finding 318 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 1: out that I was bipolar and all these different things, 319 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: and losing my mom at a young age and getting 320 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 1: the feedback from people that they relate to it or 321 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: they've dealt with similar things, if not the same things 322 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 1: in a selfish way. It makes you feel better about it, 323 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 1: and it makes you feel more confident in talking about 324 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 1: your own experiences because you know, with the Internet you 325 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,760 Speaker 1: can find your audience. Now, maybe not everybody relates to 326 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 1: what you're talking about or wants to hear you talk 327 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 1: about something, but the people who do really appreciate it 328 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,800 Speaker 1: and really do connect with it. And so that's that's 329 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 1: how I try to write now, as I just try 330 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 1: to write about things that I want to talk about 331 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 1: or I want to hear about and find other people 332 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: to relate to me about. Yeah, I love that your 333 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 1: especially was called quarter life crisis because even in the 334 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 1: work I do, I find that that is such a 335 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:11,600 Speaker 1: key pillar of a lot of people I connect with. 336 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,679 Speaker 1: So they're coming to you to laugh and understand and 337 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,159 Speaker 1: feel heard and resonated. And a lot of people were 338 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: say to me, well, Jay, I'm stuck with where I 339 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,679 Speaker 1: am or I don't like my career. What was that 340 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:26,200 Speaker 1: transition like of saying I'm okay with not going down 341 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:31,960 Speaker 1: the right correct path of staying at college completing, but 342 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,119 Speaker 1: I'm actually going to go and do something that I 343 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 1: enjoy and love. Like, what was that transition like for you? 344 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 1: Was it one welcomed by yourself and the people around 345 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,440 Speaker 1: you with excitement and joy or was it surrounded with 346 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,480 Speaker 1: worry and anxiety and a sense of, Oh, this is 347 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 1: going to be tough for I'm actually scared about this. 348 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 1: I think when I left college, I had booked enough 349 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,640 Speaker 1: work that like I would have never just quit college 350 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,199 Speaker 1: to see, you know, Like I had enough work booked. 351 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 1: I physically couldn't go to college anymore because at the time, 352 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,959 Speaker 1: the school I was at didn't have enough like online options, 353 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:12,040 Speaker 1: so I I just couldn't. And I had already taken 354 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 1: a semester off to audition for all these colleges. There's 355 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,680 Speaker 1: something called NACA where you essentially auditioned for a bunch 356 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,360 Speaker 1: of college bookers. And so I had booked like fifty 357 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,679 Speaker 1: colleges in the winter and spring, and I was like, oh, 358 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,760 Speaker 1: I'm going to be gone for like three weeks at 359 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:32,159 Speaker 1: a time, performing at these schools, mostly on the East Coast, 360 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,360 Speaker 1: So I can't. And I think I just told myself, well, 361 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,679 Speaker 1: you can go back, you can go back, and I 362 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:41,159 Speaker 1: told myself that for years. I told myself that until 363 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,840 Speaker 1: I got the first Netflix special. Once I got the 364 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,240 Speaker 1: first Netflix special, I was like, I think I don't 365 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 1: have to go back to school. And then the pandemic 366 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 1: hit and I was like, maybe I do. So I 367 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 1: really wasn't like all in like I was like, I 368 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,879 Speaker 1: held onto that because I was I was a good student. 369 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:04,159 Speaker 1: I really thought that I was going to college, I 370 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,359 Speaker 1: was going to finish, like a lot of it was 371 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,680 Speaker 1: tied up and like being a good kid, I suppose. 372 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 1: So that wasn't something that I made a hard decision on. 373 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:18,920 Speaker 1: It was something that I sort of overtime accepted as 374 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 1: long as everything was going well in my career. What 375 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 1: was harder, honestly, was just moving away from being a 376 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 1: clean comedian, and that transition from I never performed in 377 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,040 Speaker 1: churches exclusively, and I didn't want to perform in churches 378 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:39,680 Speaker 1: exclusively or even mostly, but to move away from being 379 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 1: somebody that could and was this like squeaky clean act 380 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 1: that you know your family isn't embarrassed to watch or 381 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: anything was really difficult. And that took a couple of 382 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,000 Speaker 1: years as well, because there's a lot of internalized shame 383 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:59,120 Speaker 1: that comes with that and feeling like you're not good 384 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: enough for the world you grew up in, but then 385 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:08,439 Speaker 1: also being too feeling too like inexperienced for this like 386 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,199 Speaker 1: rock and roll stand up world, because it's you know, 387 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: I don't drink and I don't really I didn't really 388 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,879 Speaker 1: do any drugs. Like, I just wasn't fun. So I 389 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,200 Speaker 1: was like, so, you're not gonna be clean and respectable, 390 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,560 Speaker 1: but you're also not gonna party like which is again 391 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,879 Speaker 1: a huge part of quarter life, as I was like, 392 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,440 Speaker 1: what am I doing? What am I doing? Because I'm 393 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 1: I'm boring enough to be someone who should be like 394 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 1: married right now, but I am not, Like where's my person? 395 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:43,399 Speaker 1: Like you know, it's just it's it's a strange time 396 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,240 Speaker 1: in your life. And I've had friends tell me that 397 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:49,680 Speaker 1: somewhat harshly, where they were like, hey, I know you're 398 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:53,680 Speaker 1: complaining about whatever relationship not working out romantically, but your 399 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 1: career is going really well and you are in your twenties. 400 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 1: And people have this idea like everything's supposed to line 401 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:05,679 Speaker 1: up by whatever age they choose as the end the 402 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: end goal. And I was certainly guilty of that. And 403 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:15,800 Speaker 1: I've had friends very bluntly say like, hey, maybe just 404 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,800 Speaker 1: be happy with one area of your life going great, yeah, 405 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 1: and trust that the other areas are going to catch 406 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,679 Speaker 1: up or focus on the other areas instead of this 407 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 1: one that you've been pouring all of your energy into. 408 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,359 Speaker 1: That is probably the most real answer I've had to 409 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 1: that question. I really appreciate it because and that is 410 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: such great advice, even though you didn't know you were 411 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 1: giving advice, because when you started to talk about how 412 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,960 Speaker 1: when you made that shift, you always knew you could 413 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:46,120 Speaker 1: go back and that the next stage was developed instead 414 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: of just throwing yourself into it. And I think those 415 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 1: are such healthy concepts. I mean, I even say, to 416 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,400 Speaker 1: my point at this even at the stage of my life, 417 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,439 Speaker 1: a sometimes be like, I can always go back to 418 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 1: the corporate world if I need to say the bills, 419 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 1: like just because and it's not I'm actually not joking 420 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,679 Speaker 1: about that at all. I genuinely say that because it 421 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 1: gives me the freedom to not live in a what 422 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 1: if world of well, what if this doesn't work? And 423 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 1: what if? It allows me to let go of that 424 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 1: and say I would have an amazing life because I'm 425 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 1: so fortunate to have had a great education that would 426 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,480 Speaker 1: have got me a particular job and a job that 427 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,320 Speaker 1: I had, or for you to say, hey, you know what, 428 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 1: even beyond all this, I could go back to college 429 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,600 Speaker 1: and study again. And I had a friend recently, and 430 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,919 Speaker 1: I'm encouraging a lot of my friends who are in 431 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 1: that quarter life crisis where they're stuck in jobs they 432 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 1: don't love, or they worked really hard for a career 433 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,159 Speaker 1: but it isn't what they wanted to do truly in 434 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,680 Speaker 1: their heart. They did it out of society pressure, family pressure, 435 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,520 Speaker 1: whatever it may have been. And a lot of them 436 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: are now making pivots. So one of them is at 437 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 1: film school in LA one of them went on to 438 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: actually become a stress coach for his own industry of law. 439 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,919 Speaker 1: And they're making these pivots at like potentially some of 440 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 1: them between twenty five to thirty, some of them thirty 441 00:23:55,920 --> 00:24:00,480 Speaker 1: to thirty five. And it's fascinating seeing their journeys because 442 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 1: it's exactly like what you're saying. They're like, oh, but 443 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 1: I can go back if I need to, And going 444 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: backwards isn't as taboo as we make it out to be, 445 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,879 Speaker 1: like we make it seem like, if you're not moving forwards, 446 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,439 Speaker 1: your life's falling apart, it's like sometimes you have to 447 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,240 Speaker 1: go backwards to renavigate and reconfigure. And so I love 448 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:21,159 Speaker 1: that answer, and even more so, what I really appreciated 449 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,520 Speaker 1: about what you said towards the end there is the 450 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:29,840 Speaker 1: idea that when you're feeling accelerated progress in one area 451 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:35,520 Speaker 1: of your life, we've also been somewhat trained to believe 452 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:39,480 Speaker 1: that everything should move at the same time, and that 453 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,200 Speaker 1: your relationship and your career and this and I it's 454 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 1: shocking to me how much we have in common despite 455 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 1: being very different people. So when you talked about switching, 456 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,119 Speaker 1: and I want to talk about that more for me. 457 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,920 Speaker 1: When I left being a monk, and which I lived 458 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,960 Speaker 1: as for three years as a fully ordained monk, most 459 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,400 Speaker 1: of it in India and living a very different life 460 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 1: to the life today. When I first left, I had 461 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,879 Speaker 1: so much shame and guilt about how I wanted to 462 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 1: share what I'd learned, because I wanted to share it 463 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,119 Speaker 1: in a non sectarian, in a universal way, and I 464 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,160 Speaker 1: wanted to share it with anyone and everyone, without anyone 465 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 1: feeling any pressure that they had to have a spiritual 466 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 1: or religious belief to connect with my work and and 467 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:25,680 Speaker 1: that came with certain levels of criticism or or judgment too, 468 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,199 Speaker 1: because it's like, well, wait a minute, you are a 469 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 1: fully ordained monk who has studied these five thousand year 470 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:34,480 Speaker 1: old literatures and scriptures and texts, But wait a minute, 471 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,399 Speaker 1: you're not sharing those Like how does that fit? And 472 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 1: I know it's different, but there's there's that similarity. I 473 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,439 Speaker 1: wonder how did you How did you get over that 474 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:43,919 Speaker 1: shame and guilt? Because I feel like that can be 475 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 1: so restricting and I even know people in my own 476 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,879 Speaker 1: community who who would feel restricted by their judgment. How 477 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,160 Speaker 1: did you receive then? How did you have the confidence 478 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,879 Speaker 1: again to break through that? And so well, this is 479 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:57,320 Speaker 1: still something I really want to do despite all of this. Yeah, 480 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 1: I mean that is so interesting that you drew that comparison, 481 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 1: because yeah, TikTok is about as far away from being 482 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 1: a monk as you can't get. Literally. It's so interesting 483 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: to me that, I mean, what a perfect example you 484 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:15,879 Speaker 1: are of a huge pivot. But still it's all connected 485 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 1: and it's all leading to the next thing. Anyway, to 486 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:25,480 Speaker 1: your question, how did I get past all of that? 487 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 1: I have a lot of therapy, I suppose, I mean, 488 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 1: when we were talking about you can always go back 489 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 1: to what you were doing before. I think what you 490 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,160 Speaker 1: said was so great. I mean, yeah, I do think 491 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:42,440 Speaker 1: people see it as giving up, but actually it's it's 492 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,919 Speaker 1: really confidence. Yeah, it's you saying I'm confident enough that 493 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,399 Speaker 1: if this doesn't work out, I'll make it work. Yes, 494 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,639 Speaker 1: And if that means doing what I was doing before, 495 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:55,400 Speaker 1: that's fine. I have a good friend, Delaney Fisher, who 496 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,720 Speaker 1: I used to do self help us with. She said 497 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 1: to me when I was I think moving in with somebody. 498 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,920 Speaker 1: She had given a few of our friends this advice 499 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,120 Speaker 1: where she was like, you can always move out, like 500 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,400 Speaker 1: you can always it's okay if things don't work out. 501 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,920 Speaker 1: And I think we totally forget about that. As far 502 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:20,120 Speaker 1: as moving past, no shame of it. I will say, 503 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 1: there is no like I can always go back to 504 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 1: the church market like. That was not something I ever 505 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:35,680 Speaker 1: felt because that's a decision you make, and I felt 506 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 1: very good about that decision. But that is a small 507 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:43,840 Speaker 1: pool of comedians who can do that, and it is 508 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:49,239 Speaker 1: in some ways easier to achieve a certain level of 509 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,400 Speaker 1: financial success in that area. There's a ceiling on it, 510 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:56,640 Speaker 1: because you know, it's a it's a certain community. But 511 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:01,760 Speaker 1: I just knew that I wanted to talk about more 512 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,880 Speaker 1: difficult subjects, and yeah, I wanted to do jokes about sex, 513 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,600 Speaker 1: like I wanted to talk about whatever I wanted to 514 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:17,480 Speaker 1: talk about. And the expectations are so rigid in church comedy, 515 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 1: in any sort of church situation, because they just want 516 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,760 Speaker 1: you to be what they expect you to be all 517 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,920 Speaker 1: the time. It's not enough to just come in and 518 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: be a clean comedian for an hour. They want you 519 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:37,679 Speaker 1: to be a Christian all the time. They want you 520 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: to be a role model and a perfect public figure. 521 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 1: And I would open for people and they would get 522 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 1: emails from someone going why. I saw her do a 523 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,320 Speaker 1: set somewhere and she said damn, And I was like, 524 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 1: I cannot stay here. This is not sustainable. Even if 525 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,480 Speaker 1: I try to be perfect, I'm gonna slip up. Yeah, 526 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,560 Speaker 1: And I don't want to feel this the rest of 527 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 1: my life. And I wasn't sure that I believed in Christianity. 528 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 1: I just didn't. I had felt that way since I 529 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,640 Speaker 1: was a kid. My mom passed away when I was eight, 530 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,160 Speaker 1: and as soon as she did, something kind of shifted 531 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:17,760 Speaker 1: in me where I realized nobody knew for sure. My 532 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 1: family's very religious, and a lot of people I grew 533 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,680 Speaker 1: up around, and I love my family. I've very open minded, 534 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,400 Speaker 1: extended family, but a lot of people I grew up 535 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 1: around act as if they know for sure what happens, 536 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,640 Speaker 1: what the answers are as far as religion goes, and 537 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 1: I just realized, like, oh, nobody really knows. And while 538 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 1: I feel very open to the possibility of something else, 539 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 1: something greater, I know that even if I devote my 540 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,760 Speaker 1: entire life to it, I will never figure out exactly 541 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:56,040 Speaker 1: what it is. And so that always rubbed me the 542 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 1: wrong way. And I didn't like the way that it 543 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 1: can be used to judge and manipulate people, and I 544 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,160 Speaker 1: just I just wasn't what they wanted, and I started 545 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: to feel like I was lying to anybody who hired 546 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:12,920 Speaker 1: me in that space. So at a certain point, I 547 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:17,480 Speaker 1: got taken off of a show for something I tweeted 548 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 1: that had like innuendo in it, and I just told 549 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:24,040 Speaker 1: my manager. I was like, if we get any offers 550 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 1: for churches, I can't do it. And then they sent 551 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,520 Speaker 1: me a few more, like it's as much money do 552 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:29,800 Speaker 1: you want to do it? And I was like, I can't. 553 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:33,120 Speaker 1: It's it's all or nothing with them, and that's fine. 554 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:38,120 Speaker 1: They can. They can make those those demands for whoever 555 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:42,240 Speaker 1: they want. Those people exist, Those people absolutely exist. Um, 556 00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,760 Speaker 1: My friend Dustin Nickerson, who goes on the road with me, 557 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 1: is very clean and can perform literally anywhere, and that's 558 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 1: who should be doing. You know, certain gigs that I'm 559 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,360 Speaker 1: not right for. I mean, you don't. You don't have 560 00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:02,480 Speaker 1: to be right for every single thing. And yes, it's 561 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 1: okay if you're not right for a certain role. Yeah, definitely. 562 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,960 Speaker 1: I think that's great advice and it gives you such 563 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,120 Speaker 1: an again freedom to recognize there is an audience for 564 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,600 Speaker 1: what you want to do. It does exist. It may 565 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,720 Speaker 1: be smaller and maybe larger, or may be different, it 566 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,400 Speaker 1: may be here, but but there is one you touched 567 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,520 Speaker 1: on there and you mentioned it earlier obviously, like losing 568 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 1: your mother at eight years old, and I, you know, 569 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:32,040 Speaker 1: I can't begin to imagine or understand what that feels 570 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 1: like as an experience. You said that that was one 571 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,480 Speaker 1: of the things that opened up. Was what else was 572 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,479 Speaker 1: there that that opened up for you? It sounds like 573 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:44,600 Speaker 1: you've spent a long time with therapy and reflection and 574 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 1: being on a journey with that. What would you feel 575 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:49,800 Speaker 1: comfortable sharing with us that that opened up for you? Oh, 576 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 1: I mean I talk about it a lot in the 577 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 1: new special. It's it is such a it's it's the 578 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 1: most important thing that happened to me, you know, not 579 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 1: the best thing that ever happened to me, but it's, 580 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,400 Speaker 1: if anything, it's the worst thing that ever happened to me. 581 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:14,760 Speaker 1: And it's it's hard to I don't know who I 582 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,680 Speaker 1: would have been if that didn't happen, Like, I don't 583 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,000 Speaker 1: think I would have been the same person. I mean 584 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 1: I have. I had a conversation with my therapist the 585 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,280 Speaker 1: other day where I was like, it's so funny because 586 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,239 Speaker 1: my aunt or my grandma will say things like your 587 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 1: mom would have thought this was so cool. Your mom 588 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 1: would have been like in the front row, And I go, 589 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: I don't know that i'd be doing this if Mom 590 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,040 Speaker 1: was still here, Like would I have? I certainly wouldn't 591 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,640 Speaker 1: have lived where I lived because my dad got remarried 592 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,080 Speaker 1: and that's why we lived there, and that's why I 593 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,000 Speaker 1: took that class, is because we were in that area 594 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:52,760 Speaker 1: where that woman suggested it. So who knows, maybe I 595 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 1: would have found it, but also maybe I would have 596 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,400 Speaker 1: written children's books, which is what I wanted to do 597 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 1: when I was younger. So I don't know. It's it's 598 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 1: so strange to be sad that a parent isn't here 599 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:12,680 Speaker 1: to see your success, but also know that a big 600 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:17,320 Speaker 1: reason you're successful is this drive to become somebody they 601 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 1: would have been proud of, or like it's weird. I'm 602 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 1: like chasing the approval of a ghost in a way. 603 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:26,760 Speaker 1: But then when you achieve those things, you're there's there's 604 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: a sadness to all of it because you go, oh, 605 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:33,280 Speaker 1: this is this doesn't really feel that that whole I guess, 606 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:39,960 Speaker 1: but I do think it. It's certainly it made a 607 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:45,200 Speaker 1: lot of things much more difficult, and I'm sure it 608 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:49,600 Speaker 1: made me shire and I'm sure it made me very 609 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,160 Speaker 1: made me very very anxious, and it bursts that bubble 610 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,320 Speaker 1: a lot of kids have, maybe not kids now because 611 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 1: they live through a pandemic, but a lot of kids 612 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 1: have where you think you're invinced and nothing bad's going 613 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:05,400 Speaker 1: to happen to you, and when something like that happens 614 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 1: to you really young, you're like, okay, yeah, so at 615 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: any moment, the piano could fall in my head or 616 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 1: someone else's head that I love. So that's sort of 617 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,440 Speaker 1: when I like started having really bad nightmares, which I 618 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:22,960 Speaker 1: still have. And it definitely affected me in so many ways. 619 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 1: But the positive ways that affected me is I think 620 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:29,640 Speaker 1: it made me. I think it made me more empathetic. 621 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:34,120 Speaker 1: I think it made me a hard worker. I think 622 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:38,759 Speaker 1: when something tragic happens to you as a child, you 623 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,799 Speaker 1: sort of retreat into your imagination because you have to, 624 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: which I'm sure made me more creative because living in 625 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 1: my head was better than living out in the world 626 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:54,680 Speaker 1: where my mom was dead. So yeah, I think. I 627 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:58,160 Speaker 1: think as I've gotten older, I've learned to find the 628 00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:05,040 Speaker 1: positive aspects of that loss that exists alongside the really 629 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,400 Speaker 1: difficult things about it. Thank you so much for sharing that, 630 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,080 Speaker 1: by the way. Yeah, you know, I find it so 631 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:16,520 Speaker 1: it's so incredible to hear just the journey you've been 632 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 1: on and from that experience and just and it's and 633 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,400 Speaker 1: to me, it's not about you know, the positive or 634 00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,400 Speaker 1: the negative or how it feels. It's just interesting to 635 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:30,680 Speaker 1: hear you think about it openly and and I can 636 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:34,000 Speaker 1: hear just how much how much work that's taken and 637 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,440 Speaker 1: what that process looks like, and I really appreciate you 638 00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,560 Speaker 1: sharing that with us, Like genuinely, it's it's so inspiring 639 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: and it's hope giving. And I know that you know 640 00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,520 Speaker 1: that we countless people who are listening right now who 641 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,000 Speaker 1: who just feels so connected to that. So thank you 642 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 1: so much for going there and sharing that. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, 643 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,760 Speaker 1: I think when I was growing up it was so 644 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,799 Speaker 1: hard to tell other people. But again, it feels like 645 00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:01,080 Speaker 1: such an important thing to know about about you. But 646 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,839 Speaker 1: I'm it made other people uncomfortable who hadn't experienced death 647 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,439 Speaker 1: or loss. So then you're like, do I just tell 648 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,880 Speaker 1: them my parents are separated? Do I just kind of 649 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:14,480 Speaker 1: skirt around the issue. And I it took years of 650 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:19,399 Speaker 1: like almost like rehearsing with people how to give them 651 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:23,840 Speaker 1: that information in in a palatable way. Yeah, exactly. No, 652 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:28,239 Speaker 1: it's such an important part of the story to understand 653 00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:31,800 Speaker 1: someone and to be able to receive them and connect 654 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,200 Speaker 1: with them properly. No, I'm so grateful you spoke about it, 655 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,760 Speaker 1: and I want to I want to go in another 656 00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 1: totally very different direction now, but only because you said 657 00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 1: something earlier. I'm trying to bring it back. So we 658 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:47,719 Speaker 1: were talking about love and relationships and even that relationship 659 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,360 Speaker 1: with your mother and with your parents is so important 660 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:55,279 Speaker 1: and how it impacts your relationships moving forward. One of 661 00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,879 Speaker 1: your favorite clips that I love is where you talk 662 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,560 Speaker 1: about I believe it's the boyfriend who cheated on you 663 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 1: in your head and that clip to me, I've sent 664 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,760 Speaker 1: that clip to more people than I could possibly imagine. 665 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,080 Speaker 1: And I have a funny story to tell that I 666 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:13,960 Speaker 1: don't think I've ever shared publicly, but I have to 667 00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,120 Speaker 1: share it with you. So I've had a very clear 668 00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:22,840 Speaker 1: value around cheating my whole life that if someone was 669 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:25,520 Speaker 1: to cheat on me, or if I was to cheat 670 00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 1: on someone, I don't think i'm personally It's not that 671 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:33,000 Speaker 1: I don't believe I'm capable. I don't feel enthusiastic about 672 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,680 Speaker 1: trying to continue on that path because to me, it's 673 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,480 Speaker 1: such a big core value of who I am. Again, 674 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,360 Speaker 1: I don't project down to anyone. I wouldn't judge anyone 675 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:45,040 Speaker 1: for staying with someone or breaking up. It's everyone's personal choice. 676 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,160 Speaker 1: That's where my personal choice stands. And my wife knows that, 677 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,520 Speaker 1: and we've had this conversation. We've been together now nearly 678 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,239 Speaker 1: ten years and married for six and so we've known 679 00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:56,120 Speaker 1: this for a long time, and so me and my 680 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,080 Speaker 1: wife do this thing what we used to do before 681 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,359 Speaker 1: the pandemic. We haven't done it since, but we used 682 00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,759 Speaker 1: to do this thing with every thirty days, we would 683 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:06,520 Speaker 1: drive somewhere three hours from where we live and stay 684 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,120 Speaker 1: somewhere like an airbnb or wherever we can for three days. 685 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,120 Speaker 1: We'd lock our phones in a safe and we just 686 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,680 Speaker 1: spend time together because we found that every week we 687 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,840 Speaker 1: got so busy and I have a crazy schedule and 688 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,520 Speaker 1: so does she, and so like on a weeknight, it's like, 689 00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,920 Speaker 1: you're not really getting that deep into my connection. And 690 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:23,920 Speaker 1: then the weekend comes and maybe you see friends and 691 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,840 Speaker 1: maybe you see family or whatever, and time just flies. 692 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,520 Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, you've been married for 693 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,600 Speaker 1: ten years or longer, and you're like, well, do I 694 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,480 Speaker 1: even know this person that well? And I saw that 695 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,680 Speaker 1: in the people I coached. I saw that in the 696 00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,439 Speaker 1: people I worked with, and I was like, okay, well, 697 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 1: what's a habit or I love coming up with like 698 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,319 Speaker 1: these and I love numbers, and so it was like 699 00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,160 Speaker 1: thirty days, three hours, three days, and so we're on 700 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:44,839 Speaker 1: this one of these journeys and We're driving off three 701 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,000 Speaker 1: hours and we're listening to music. And this may surprise people, 702 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,360 Speaker 1: but we're listening to Future the Rapper. Right, it's me 703 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,839 Speaker 1: and my wife as sitting listen to music. We're listen 704 00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,240 Speaker 1: to Future the Rapper. For whatever reason, I have no idea. 705 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,919 Speaker 1: I do not know him. I've never met him. We're 706 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,160 Speaker 1: listening to Future on the way. We get to the 707 00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:03,640 Speaker 1: hotel that was staying at and then we maybe watched 708 00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,400 Speaker 1: a movie and went to bed. And I wake up 709 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:11,439 Speaker 1: in the morning and I've had this dream that my 710 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:16,239 Speaker 1: wife is having Futures baby and she's in the shower. 711 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:17,880 Speaker 1: I can hear her that she's in the shower in 712 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:22,399 Speaker 1: the hotel room, and I wake up and it feels real. 713 00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:24,840 Speaker 1: So I wake up and there's no part of me 714 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:28,280 Speaker 1: that is cognizant that that was a dream. I am 715 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:33,800 Speaker 1: fully in the reality that my wife, rather this you know, beautiful, 716 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:38,239 Speaker 1: abundant human being, has had an affair with Future of 717 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:41,399 Speaker 1: all people, and now she's pregnant with Futures baby. And 718 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,919 Speaker 1: I woke up with like this brick on my heart, 719 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,759 Speaker 1: Like that's how it felt like. It genuinely felt like 720 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,520 Speaker 1: there's this massive brick on my heart and it was 721 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,239 Speaker 1: weighing me down. And in my head, I said, I 722 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,080 Speaker 1: want to take care of that baby, like it's mine. 723 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:55,600 Speaker 1: Like I was just like I just have to, Like 724 00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,879 Speaker 1: I was just like, I love my wife so much, 725 00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,600 Speaker 1: like I love her. And it was so weird because 726 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,000 Speaker 1: I have this value and then when you think that 727 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,600 Speaker 1: this thing has happened, all of a sudden, that not 728 00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:05,279 Speaker 1: that value has gone out of the window, but that 729 00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,560 Speaker 1: my love and my connection and attachment to my wife 730 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,440 Speaker 1: was stronger. And she she was The hotel room had 731 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 1: one of those like you know, there's window doors that 732 00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,040 Speaker 1: open into the from the shower, bathroom into like the 733 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,800 Speaker 1: bedroom area. So she opened she looked at me, She's like, 734 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,960 Speaker 1: are you okay. I was like, oh, I just had 735 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,200 Speaker 1: a dream that you were having futures baby, and she 736 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,239 Speaker 1: just burst out laughing at me. She was just cracking up. 737 00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,480 Speaker 1: And and I've never told that story anywhere else apart 738 00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,200 Speaker 1: from now, apart from to friends and stuff. But it's 739 00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:36,560 Speaker 1: it's fascinating to me how interesting it is that we 740 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,680 Speaker 1: can have these views on love, we can have these 741 00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,520 Speaker 1: perceptions of love, and then when you get into a relationship, 742 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:45,640 Speaker 1: how these perceptions can change how other people's music, thoughts, 743 00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:50,680 Speaker 1: ideas infiltrate our mind and dreams and messages and all 744 00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,879 Speaker 1: of that. I wonder for you, what have been some 745 00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:57,880 Speaker 1: of the would you say, misconceptions on love that you 746 00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,879 Speaker 1: think you had growing up that had been broken down? 747 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,160 Speaker 1: Know that through your comedy that you've learned, or maybe 748 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 1: you've heard an amazing story from a fan at an 749 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:09,160 Speaker 1: event that has sparked some thoughts. But I'm always fascinated 750 00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:12,360 Speaker 1: by things that we believe to be true about love. 751 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,359 Speaker 1: But as we grow, oh do we go, oh, they're 752 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:19,560 Speaker 1: they're not the truth? Does that make sense? Yeah? Absolutely? Um, 753 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:21,520 Speaker 1: it's so funny you say that. I have a friend 754 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,520 Speaker 1: who's been in a relationship for I believe seven years 755 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,320 Speaker 1: now and is like my oldest friend. And I had 756 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:31,839 Speaker 1: I had asked her a similar question. I don't remember when, 757 00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,719 Speaker 1: but I had asked her, you know, what would you 758 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,440 Speaker 1: do if your partner cheated on you? And she was like, Honestly, 759 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:42,800 Speaker 1: at this point, I love him so much, I trust 760 00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:46,360 Speaker 1: him so much. I would probably go to therapy and 761 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,440 Speaker 1: figure out why it happens. Yeah. And I was like, oh, 762 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,759 Speaker 1: but you wouldn't just leave? And she was like, no, 763 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:52,719 Speaker 1: She's like not at this point, like we've just been 764 00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,680 Speaker 1: through so much together. I would there. She's like, I 765 00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 1: know him so well. If he did that, I would 766 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,279 Speaker 1: know there was a reason, yes, and we need to 767 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:05,080 Speaker 1: figure out that reason. Oh my gosh. And I was like, oh, okay, 768 00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:09,680 Speaker 1: so we're all mature now. Like I think, I thought, well, 769 00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:13,640 Speaker 1: my friends in this relationship, that relationship, they don't fight, 770 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:18,080 Speaker 1: or this would never happen in so and so's relationship. 771 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,800 Speaker 1: And then as I've gotten older and I've dated more people, 772 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,759 Speaker 1: I've I've spoken to friends of mine and said like, 773 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,160 Speaker 1: well this happened, and they go, oh, we we dealt 774 00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,440 Speaker 1: with that. Yeah, like we had the same thing, or 775 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,040 Speaker 1: my partner did something like that, or I did something 776 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,279 Speaker 1: like that, and it took a while for us to 777 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:38,080 Speaker 1: unlearn it and get through it. And that's I think 778 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:42,920 Speaker 1: the hardest thing about dating in your twenties and honestly 779 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,239 Speaker 1: into your thirties now as people are getting married later, 780 00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:50,360 Speaker 1: it's so hard to know what is like a deal 781 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:55,360 Speaker 1: breaker yes, and what is something that you can work through. 782 00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,799 Speaker 1: And I think the thing I've learned from friends of 783 00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:02,680 Speaker 1: mine and truly talking to audience members, because I do 784 00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:04,840 Speaker 1: ask people who have been married a long time for advice, 785 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:06,279 Speaker 1: and most of the time they're like, we don't have 786 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,360 Speaker 1: any move on. We just didn't leave. We know that. 787 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:15,080 Speaker 1: But so many people, it just seems like, find somebody 788 00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,080 Speaker 1: that they love so much, they're like, well, I'm gonna 789 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:21,799 Speaker 1: make it work with you. Yes, and whatever things I 790 00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:25,280 Speaker 1: had in my brain of if this happens, I'm gone. 791 00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:28,719 Speaker 1: If this happens, I'll never get over it. Once you 792 00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:30,880 Speaker 1: find somebody that you love and respect so much and 793 00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:34,680 Speaker 1: you've been through enough with them, if you trust somebody, 794 00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,120 Speaker 1: and I feel this way with friends of mine, I 795 00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:42,040 Speaker 1: should say that because I don't have that marriage or 796 00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,600 Speaker 1: partnership that I can point to in my own life. 797 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:48,360 Speaker 1: But I have several friends who I've had for a 798 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,280 Speaker 1: very long time, who are there for me so consistently 799 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,120 Speaker 1: that when they hurt me or disappoint me, it is 800 00:43:55,160 --> 00:44:00,759 Speaker 1: over very quickly. Because I'm like your family, and you 801 00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:05,120 Speaker 1: have been there for me so many times, Hurting me 802 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:08,280 Speaker 1: once is not going to phase me. Whereas if somebody 803 00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,520 Speaker 1: that I didn't trust as much or hadn't been there 804 00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 1: for me for as long or as deeply did the 805 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:18,200 Speaker 1: exact same thing, we would not have a relationship anymore, 806 00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:21,279 Speaker 1: or we would be acquaintances now. So it is so 807 00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:25,200 Speaker 1: dependent on the relationship you have with the other person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, 808 00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:28,120 Speaker 1: And that's what I mean that For me, it just 809 00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,879 Speaker 1: you know, ultimately it's knowing your value, but then having 810 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,000 Speaker 1: compassion for other people's values, because I think it's so 811 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:39,480 Speaker 1: easy to project your own ideas of what someone should 812 00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:43,480 Speaker 1: do and how they should react, and yeah, what's a 813 00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:46,200 Speaker 1: good boundary for themselves and then almost going well, wait 814 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,160 Speaker 1: a minute, like just gonna have compassion and empathy for 815 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,800 Speaker 1: that person's decision and their relationship with that person. But 816 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:56,040 Speaker 1: when you look for I'm interested by by dating in 817 00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:59,239 Speaker 1: relationships a lot myself because it's a part of my work. 818 00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:00,919 Speaker 1: It's part of my coach is you know, it's part 819 00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,880 Speaker 1: of what I think about. What have been the funniest, 820 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:08,960 Speaker 1: most interesting date situations you've been in? All ones that 821 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,040 Speaker 1: have given you hope or ones that have broken your hope, 822 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,520 Speaker 1: or anything that you feel to share. Well, it's so 823 00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:16,040 Speaker 1: funny you bring up that joke from Quarter Life, because 824 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,080 Speaker 1: I love that lad. It's so funny because in the 825 00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:21,120 Speaker 1: new special, I have a joke about an X cheating 826 00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:24,160 Speaker 1: on me, and it's that guy that I talked about 827 00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:26,160 Speaker 1: where I go, well, he never cheated on I say, 828 00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:28,319 Speaker 1: I do that joke where I say he cheated on 829 00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,319 Speaker 1: me in my head and I go, no, he never 830 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,439 Speaker 1: cheated on me, but he did this thing. That guy 831 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:35,440 Speaker 1: did cheat on me, and he told me after I 832 00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:38,680 Speaker 1: filmed that special. Yes, he finally told me, and it 833 00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:41,799 Speaker 1: was like obviously years later, but like he and I 834 00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:44,439 Speaker 1: had dated on and off for years and he had 835 00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:48,120 Speaker 1: sworn up and down then he never cheated on me 836 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,960 Speaker 1: and really made me feel crazy and to his credit, 837 00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:56,239 Speaker 1: apologized very late, but really like send me this long 838 00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,879 Speaker 1: apology where I was like, I was gaslighting you, like 839 00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:03,520 Speaker 1: I really a beautiful I almost made it my iPhone background. 840 00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,880 Speaker 1: It's all you want is just I was wrong and 841 00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:12,480 Speaker 1: I guess lighted you and we're like yes, but also 842 00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:15,319 Speaker 1: really messed with my head because i'd been in therapy going. 843 00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,600 Speaker 1: You know, I always was so suspicious of this guy 844 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,600 Speaker 1: and he never did anything, and I just created into 845 00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,280 Speaker 1: my head. So for them later and for him later 846 00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:24,680 Speaker 1: to be like, no, I was and you were right, 847 00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:29,480 Speaker 1: and I'm sorry. I just pay for my therapy, right, 848 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,400 Speaker 1: But also I got so many jokes out of that relationship. 849 00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:37,319 Speaker 1: I really can't. I really can't be mad. I have 850 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,080 Speaker 1: no regrets. But after he you know what's funny in 851 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:44,879 Speaker 1: terms of like I thought that if somebody cheated on me, 852 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,880 Speaker 1: I would hate them and never speak to them again, 853 00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:51,280 Speaker 1: and especially in that way, which is pretty messed up. Um, 854 00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:58,880 Speaker 1: But there's obviously more to the story circumstantially that contextualized 855 00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:01,800 Speaker 1: it for me. M. But if you had just told 856 00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:03,560 Speaker 1: me ten years ago, like, this is what's going to 857 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:07,319 Speaker 1: happen with this person, I would have been like, well, 858 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:10,120 Speaker 1: I'm going to hate them forever. And once he told 859 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:14,279 Speaker 1: me that, that's what happened, and I did know him 860 00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:16,759 Speaker 1: so well and I knew what he was going through 861 00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,680 Speaker 1: and what he was dealing with. Um, I think it 862 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:24,880 Speaker 1: actually improved not our relationship because we don't really have 863 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:32,279 Speaker 1: a relationship, but improved our feelings about each other in 864 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:36,480 Speaker 1: a you know, just just an existing in the world 865 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,319 Speaker 1: as memories to one another. Like I wasn't angry at 866 00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:47,160 Speaker 1: him anymore because I finally knew for sure. And it 867 00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:50,840 Speaker 1: does take a lot to admit to somebody that you 868 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:56,200 Speaker 1: did that. Yeah, And you can judge however long it 869 00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:59,160 Speaker 1: took or the way in which it was said, or 870 00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:02,520 Speaker 1: whatever you want. But at the end of the day, 871 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,319 Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, this is somebody who 872 00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:08,440 Speaker 1: was really important to me and really encouraged me in 873 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:14,560 Speaker 1: my career and really yes, hurt me in some pretty 874 00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:21,360 Speaker 1: deep ways but also made me better. Yeah, And I 875 00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:24,719 Speaker 1: felt like I was able to sort of put that 876 00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:28,799 Speaker 1: chapter of my life to bed and really care about 877 00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:32,400 Speaker 1: him as a human being. And I had just lived longer, 878 00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:35,240 Speaker 1: and I had made my own mistakes and other relationships, 879 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,839 Speaker 1: and obviously I made my own my own mistakes in 880 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:42,480 Speaker 1: that relationship with him that we're not okay. So I 881 00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:47,439 Speaker 1: think time, age, compassion and empathy comes with all of that. 882 00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:50,600 Speaker 1: I had this really strange vision while you were saying 883 00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:52,720 Speaker 1: all this deep, profound stuff. I was like, how amazing 884 00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:55,200 Speaker 1: would it be to see you making this joke next 885 00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:57,719 Speaker 1: to this clip of you talking right now? And I'm 886 00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:00,440 Speaker 1: just like, literally, I like, Taylor, like you this ature, 887 00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,600 Speaker 1: amazing individual. And when I see you on stage, you 888 00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:08,040 Speaker 1: like this, you know, you're like picking fights with everyone. 889 00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,000 Speaker 1: I love it, and I love that, and I love that. 890 00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:13,160 Speaker 1: I love that paradox too, Like I love that you're 891 00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:16,239 Speaker 1: able to speak so lightly of so many of these things, 892 00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:18,520 Speaker 1: and of course, you know, make so many millions of 893 00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:20,840 Speaker 1: people laugh. But at the same time, when I'm getting 894 00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,359 Speaker 1: to know you today, it's it's fascinating to hear just 895 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,439 Speaker 1: how much thought and maturity and work and reflection because 896 00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:32,920 Speaker 1: what you just said is so massively evolved. I mean, look, 897 00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:37,080 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have raised future's baby. I'm like, you're okay 898 00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:41,160 Speaker 1: over there. Literally that was like the only thing I said, 899 00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:43,520 Speaker 1: Oh my god, Like I literally felt that, Like it 900 00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:46,839 Speaker 1: was I felt it in my gut because yeah, because 901 00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:48,799 Speaker 1: I was less my wife's baby. I love it so much. 902 00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,600 Speaker 1: It was just, yeah, it was just one of those moments. 903 00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:53,279 Speaker 1: But I'm glad it's not true. Of course. Did you 904 00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:56,120 Speaker 1: see the video on TikTok that went viral about that 905 00:49:56,239 --> 00:50:00,239 Speaker 1: girl being walked down the aisle by her stepdad. It 906 00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,200 Speaker 1: was the exact same thing. She was like, my mom 907 00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:06,040 Speaker 1: had an affair and got pregnant with me, and my 908 00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:10,640 Speaker 1: stepdad raised me, and he is my dad, and this 909 00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:14,279 Speaker 1: is him walking me down the aisle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 910 00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,839 Speaker 1: it's just yeah, that's the kind of that's the real 911 00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:19,960 Speaker 1: life version, right. You can have all these ideas and 912 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,480 Speaker 1: thoughts in your head and make all these commitments to 913 00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,120 Speaker 1: yourself and then it happens and then yeah, yeah you change. No. 914 00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:29,520 Speaker 1: I love that. I think if if if Taylor Thompson 915 00:50:29,680 --> 00:50:35,400 Speaker 1: had any dating relationship advice mistakes thoughts, what would they 916 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:38,120 Speaker 1: be right now? Oh, my advice is to not listen 917 00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:43,400 Speaker 1: to stand up comedians for relationship advice. My advice is 918 00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:47,920 Speaker 1: to listen to your podcast and follow whatever you and 919 00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:52,480 Speaker 1: your wife are doing. Um, I don't know. I'm currently 920 00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:56,799 Speaker 1: in this place in my life where I'm sort of 921 00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:58,400 Speaker 1: coming to and I'd like to talk about this on 922 00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:02,680 Speaker 1: stage in the new where I'm working on is I. 923 00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:05,640 Speaker 1: I have been in sort of like back to back 924 00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:11,920 Speaker 1: relationships throughout my entire adult life in a way that 925 00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:16,359 Speaker 1: I don't think is particularly healthy. And I have had 926 00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:19,680 Speaker 1: friends I have a new joke in the Hour about 927 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,000 Speaker 1: you know, a lot of my friends were like, you 928 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,680 Speaker 1: should maybe be single for a bit and maybe get 929 00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,440 Speaker 1: a cat or something, and I was like, hard pass. 930 00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:31,439 Speaker 1: Cats don't make me feel good about myself. But I am. 931 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,719 Speaker 1: I am reaching a point now where I'm like, Okay, 932 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:39,040 Speaker 1: we've put off doing this work on being alone for 933 00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,960 Speaker 1: a long time, and I think you need to do 934 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:48,040 Speaker 1: it now. And it is so difficult because I'm I'm 935 00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:53,000 Speaker 1: not I'm not a casual person. I'm much like you 936 00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,160 Speaker 1: where if I'm at an event, I want to talk 937 00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,640 Speaker 1: to one person. So I'm not like that in any 938 00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:02,840 Speaker 1: of my relationships, friendships or otherwise. So I'm generally in 939 00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:05,600 Speaker 1: a relationship. If I'm dating, I'm not like a casual 940 00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,919 Speaker 1: dater or I don't have that in me. But as 941 00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:12,719 Speaker 1: a result, I'm always getting into these you know, year 942 00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:18,680 Speaker 1: to two year things. And I I've also just been 943 00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:24,560 Speaker 1: so focused on my career, so anytime something wasn't working 944 00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:28,600 Speaker 1: out or I was having problems with somebody, I was like, well, 945 00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:31,400 Speaker 1: I can always focus on my career and that's fine, 946 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:37,160 Speaker 1: and focus on the next relationship. And now I've reached 947 00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:41,200 Speaker 1: this level that I truly always dreamed of, like doing 948 00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:46,759 Speaker 1: a theater tour and having specials on net, like that 949 00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,680 Speaker 1: is all I have ever wanted, And if nothing else 950 00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:53,120 Speaker 1: happened from here on out, that is, this is more 951 00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:56,359 Speaker 1: than I could have ever dreamed of. And so now 952 00:52:56,400 --> 00:53:00,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe it's time to get some hobbies. Maybe 953 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:03,120 Speaker 1: it's time, maybe it's time to work on who you 954 00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:06,080 Speaker 1: are as a person, Like you're very good at comedy, 955 00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:11,319 Speaker 1: maybe get good at I don't know, forgiveness, like maybe 956 00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:15,279 Speaker 1: just work on that. So yeah, I think, you know, 957 00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:16,880 Speaker 1: what's that quote that people say, like you have to 958 00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:19,160 Speaker 1: be somebody that you would want to be with forever, 959 00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:22,839 Speaker 1: Like I do think that I have had moments of 960 00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:26,799 Speaker 1: that over the years, but i'd like to really I'd 961 00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:30,359 Speaker 1: like to really focus on that. And I don't agree 962 00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:32,960 Speaker 1: with the statement a lot of people make, which is 963 00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:35,600 Speaker 1: you have to be totally okay by yourself before you 964 00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:39,200 Speaker 1: get into relationship. I know so many people who got 965 00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:42,799 Speaker 1: into a relationship three days after they ended one and 966 00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:44,959 Speaker 1: they've been together for ten years. I know so many 967 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,799 Speaker 1: people who gone to relationship when they were really not 968 00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:52,080 Speaker 1: in a good place financially, spiritually, whatever, and now they've 969 00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:55,680 Speaker 1: been together for twenty years. I think it is so 970 00:53:56,560 --> 00:54:01,919 Speaker 1: case by case. But I do think that if you 971 00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,960 Speaker 1: can show up for yourself and take care of yourself, 972 00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:08,480 Speaker 1: you are going to show up for and take care 973 00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:13,000 Speaker 1: of someone else much better and not put so much 974 00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:16,239 Speaker 1: on them to take care of you. And I would 975 00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:21,320 Speaker 1: like to, I think, before I get into a relationship again, 976 00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:24,080 Speaker 1: which I don't know when I'm going to be comfortable 977 00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:30,399 Speaker 1: doing that I would like to feel like I am 978 00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:36,000 Speaker 1: someone who brings a lot to the table, not just 979 00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:39,799 Speaker 1: in a purely superficial way of like, look how much 980 00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:43,719 Speaker 1: I've achieved, Like my career is going well, which for 981 00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:46,799 Speaker 1: a long time, I think, on some unconscious level, I 982 00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:51,120 Speaker 1: thought that if I achieved all of my career goals, 983 00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:57,400 Speaker 1: I would be proving to someone whoever it was, that 984 00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:00,399 Speaker 1: I was like worth loving, like I was worth being with. Yes, 985 00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:02,279 Speaker 1: And then you achieve all those things and you reach 986 00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:04,760 Speaker 1: that place and you're like, oh, this didn't this didn't 987 00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:10,240 Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, that's not what it's about. So I'm 988 00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:16,120 Speaker 1: really trying to focus on that right now. I'm trying 989 00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:20,040 Speaker 1: to focus on who I am as opposed to what 990 00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,680 Speaker 1: I've done, because that has not been my approach the 991 00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:26,640 Speaker 1: last ten years to my life. And to go back 992 00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:28,520 Speaker 1: to my mom dying young, I mean I talked about 993 00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:30,680 Speaker 1: that in the special as well as like I had 994 00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:32,680 Speaker 1: this irrational belief that I was going to die at 995 00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:36,360 Speaker 1: thirty four, because that's when she died. And it's very common. 996 00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:38,280 Speaker 1: A lot of people have it when they lose their parents, 997 00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:40,719 Speaker 1: even if their parents are you know, fifty five, when 998 00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,520 Speaker 1: they when they pass they get nervous coming up to 999 00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:46,400 Speaker 1: that age. And then if you I've heard, if you 1000 00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:49,799 Speaker 1: get to that age and you surpass it, you you 1001 00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:53,160 Speaker 1: actually feel sort of guilty. You have like survivor's skill, 1002 00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,920 Speaker 1: so I have that to look forward to. But I 1003 00:55:55,960 --> 00:56:00,840 Speaker 1: think that was not just affecting my career goals. It 1004 00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:03,400 Speaker 1: was affecting my personal goals as well. Where I thought 1005 00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:07,239 Speaker 1: I only have this amount of time, not even from 1006 00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:10,160 Speaker 1: a fertility standpoint, from just a this is what I'm 1007 00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,759 Speaker 1: going to die, Yeah, that I have to rush everything 1008 00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:21,120 Speaker 1: and I have to become this ideal person, and that's 1009 00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:25,240 Speaker 1: not how you become your highest self as it turns out. Yeah, 1010 00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:27,799 Speaker 1: I mean, you know when you said that, I'm like 1011 00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,240 Speaker 1: listening to you today going I think, I think, Taylor, 1012 00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:32,839 Speaker 1: you you really do know who you are, and there's 1013 00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:35,920 Speaker 1: there's so much you know, there has been so much 1014 00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:39,080 Speaker 1: investment in that part of yourself. Yes, there's been, of course, 1015 00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:42,680 Speaker 1: amazing acceleration in your career, but from the little time 1016 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:45,680 Speaker 1: we've spent together today, I'm I'm I'm hearing so much 1017 00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:49,000 Speaker 1: self awareness and you know, so much great introspection and 1018 00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:53,080 Speaker 1: so much amazing energy around that. So thank you. I'm sorry. 1019 00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:56,719 Speaker 1: If I'm rambling, No you're not. I'm no, no, no, 1020 00:56:56,719 --> 00:56:59,200 Speaker 1: you're not rambling at all. I mean, I'm also reflecting 1021 00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:00,920 Speaker 1: back on what you just said. And it gives me 1022 00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:04,160 Speaker 1: great reassurance in hearing that because something I ask a 1023 00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:06,960 Speaker 1: lot of clients to do in the relationshipship spaces. I 1024 00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:10,279 Speaker 1: asked them to write down the amount of days in 1025 00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:13,239 Speaker 1: their adult life or years in their adult life that 1026 00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:17,480 Speaker 1: they've spent single versus they've spent in relationships. And when 1027 00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:19,320 Speaker 1: you look at those two numbers next to each other, 1028 00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:23,160 Speaker 1: I know people that are fifty five who will say 1029 00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:25,760 Speaker 1: that the amount of time they've spent in their adult life. 1030 00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,160 Speaker 1: Of course, because we all, no one's dating when they're born, right, 1031 00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:31,480 Speaker 1: Well maybe not right, So I'm like, yeah, but the 1032 00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:34,040 Speaker 1: idea that in their adult life, even people who are 1033 00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:37,480 Speaker 1: fifty five sixty fifty five is probably where people that 1034 00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:40,160 Speaker 1: I've spoken to they would say that they've spent six 1035 00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:44,000 Speaker 1: months alone max in their whole adult life. Yeah. Alone 1036 00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,600 Speaker 1: as in single, without being in some sort of relationship. 1037 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,920 Speaker 1: And when you hear that, and when I started to 1038 00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:52,320 Speaker 1: think about it, for me, those three years living as 1039 00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:56,400 Speaker 1: a monk of being single, of course, but I look 1040 00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:58,320 Speaker 1: back at those and I think, wow, those were like 1041 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:02,960 Speaker 1: really important formative years in my relationship with myself. And 1042 00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:06,520 Speaker 1: I fully agree with you too that that never stops 1043 00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:10,600 Speaker 1: or is never complete. So it's not like check did that. 1044 00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:14,440 Speaker 1: Now I'm ready for a relationship. I have completed level 1045 00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:18,600 Speaker 1: one of life, but I've started level one of life. Yeah, 1046 00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:20,560 Speaker 1: And I think that's you know, going back to your 1047 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:23,840 Speaker 1: point that you're not going to fully love yourself and 1048 00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:27,320 Speaker 1: be good alone before you can be in a relationship. 1049 00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:31,800 Speaker 1: But you've started that journey to some degree, and ultimately 1050 00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:35,680 Speaker 1: all that does is it removes certain obstacles, right, So 1051 00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:38,440 Speaker 1: someone could definitely go from one relationship to another and 1052 00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:41,520 Speaker 1: they could be together. It's just we would remove certain 1053 00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:44,240 Speaker 1: obstacles if both people had had done a little bit 1054 00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,400 Speaker 1: of self work, and that's all that's all it is. 1055 00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:49,720 Speaker 1: But it's never that. Yes, you come to a relationship 1056 00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:52,840 Speaker 1: as this perfectly complete person. That is just a romantic 1057 00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:55,080 Speaker 1: view of what it looks like. And I saw that 1058 00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:57,880 Speaker 1: with me and my wife, like you know, when when 1059 00:58:57,920 --> 00:58:59,360 Speaker 1: we met and we fell in love as well. And 1060 00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:02,800 Speaker 1: you know, falling in love is not a logical you know, 1061 00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:05,360 Speaker 1: you're not planning it all out and you're not logically 1062 00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:08,240 Speaker 1: going through the steps. There's attraction, and then there's a faction, 1063 00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:11,120 Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, there's attachment, and you're like, Okay, 1064 00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:14,439 Speaker 1: I think I love this person, and then now I'm like, wow, 1065 00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:17,600 Speaker 1: I think sometimes when I proposed to my wife, I 1066 00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:21,120 Speaker 1: didn't really know her compared to the person I know today, 1067 00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:23,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, I didn't know her. And I think the 1068 00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:26,800 Speaker 1: problem becomes when we think we know before and then 1069 00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:30,040 Speaker 1: we stopped trying to know, and so you kind of go, yeah, 1070 00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:31,520 Speaker 1: I know who my partner is. We got married, and 1071 00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:33,080 Speaker 1: then it's like, but I've never tried to get to 1072 00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:35,120 Speaker 1: know them again. And for me it's been the other 1073 00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:37,160 Speaker 1: way around. We're like, yeah, we dated and we were 1074 00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:39,680 Speaker 1: together for four years before we got married, to plenty 1075 00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:41,840 Speaker 1: of time. But I'd say I've learned more in the 1076 00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:43,760 Speaker 1: last six of being married than I ever did in 1077 00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:47,520 Speaker 1: the first four. So the knowing of that person was 1078 00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:51,240 Speaker 1: far more important than the belief that I already knew 1079 00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:54,320 Speaker 1: them well. And you're both changing all the time and 1080 00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:56,280 Speaker 1: the time. That's the thing. When people are like, well, 1081 00:59:56,280 --> 00:59:58,000 Speaker 1: they're not who I married, it's like, of course, no, 1082 00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:01,080 Speaker 1: of course not Yeah, of course that you're not. They're married, right, 1083 01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:04,560 Speaker 1: like like me talking like I know, I'm like the 1084 01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:11,560 Speaker 1: marriage is like this, Uh yeah, I think that it's 1085 01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:15,360 Speaker 1: It's interesting what you said about the time that people 1086 01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:19,520 Speaker 1: spend actually alone as adults, because I've I've spoken to 1087 01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:21,960 Speaker 1: friends of mine who have gotten out of really long relationships, 1088 01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,480 Speaker 1: like that's such a that's such a common thing that 1089 01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:28,080 Speaker 1: I've never experienced where you know, somebody was with somebody 1090 01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:31,439 Speaker 1: for the bulk of their young adulthood, like maybe someone 1091 01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:34,000 Speaker 1: was with someone for eight years and their twenties and 1092 01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:37,960 Speaker 1: then they break up, which seems so devastating because I've 1093 01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,800 Speaker 1: never been in something that long that ended, or you know, 1094 01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:46,240 Speaker 1: people get divorced after however many years, and and those 1095 01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:49,960 Speaker 1: friends realizing like, oh I didn't I never lived alone, 1096 01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:54,880 Speaker 1: Like I've never lived alone, and I'm in my thirties now, 1097 01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:57,960 Speaker 1: and I'm sort of in a similar place where I'm 1098 01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:02,840 Speaker 1: kind of like surprised how much I'm appreciating it right now, 1099 01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:07,240 Speaker 1: Like I'm really I'm really like every night, I'm like, oh, 1100 01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:10,520 Speaker 1: I can just do whatever I want. And I love 1101 01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:13,600 Speaker 1: being a relationship. I love being in a relationship. I 1102 01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:18,640 Speaker 1: love the people I've been in relationships with I love 1103 01:01:18,960 --> 01:01:22,240 Speaker 1: hanging out with someone. I love having that person to 1104 01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:24,640 Speaker 1: talk to and share with and because you really do 1105 01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:27,920 Speaker 1: just become best friends with that person. But I have 1106 01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:35,760 Speaker 1: spent very little time just with myself, and I really 1107 01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,400 Speaker 1: have spent years like dreading it when I'm like, I 1108 01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:42,280 Speaker 1: don't I can't imagine just coming home at night or 1109 01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:45,200 Speaker 1: going back to the hotel after shows, because that's very lonely, 1110 01:01:45,240 --> 01:01:47,600 Speaker 1: and just like being by myself and not having someone 1111 01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:50,200 Speaker 1: to call, not having someone to watch a movie with. 1112 01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:54,040 Speaker 1: And now I'm like, oh, this is actually kind of peaceful. 1113 01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:56,800 Speaker 1: Like I was so scared to not have someone else 1114 01:01:56,840 --> 01:02:00,439 Speaker 1: to count on, but I still have meade account on. Yeah, 1115 01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:03,520 Speaker 1: And when we don't have that, those are the triggers 1116 01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:06,480 Speaker 1: that come out. I mean, even in marriage, like right now, 1117 01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:08,040 Speaker 1: I won't have seen my wife for the first four 1118 01:02:08,080 --> 01:02:10,160 Speaker 1: months of this year. She's in London working on stuff. 1119 01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:13,600 Speaker 1: I'm in LA. She can't be in LA right now 1120 01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:15,400 Speaker 1: for the work she's doing, and I can't be in London. 1121 01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:19,240 Speaker 1: And so I'd say in our marriage, we've spent probably 1122 01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:21,960 Speaker 1: before pandemic, we spent completely together, which was wonderful. We 1123 01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:25,240 Speaker 1: loved it. It was actually great for us. But before that, 1124 01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:28,760 Speaker 1: I would say that we've spent at least three to 1125 01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:31,360 Speaker 1: six months apart a year because of work on and off, 1126 01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:33,200 Speaker 1: not always in one go. This time it's been in 1127 01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:36,640 Speaker 1: one go, and I miss her. I cannot wait for 1128 01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:38,160 Speaker 1: her to come back, Like I feel like I have 1129 01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:39,920 Speaker 1: to throw her a party when she comes back because 1130 01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:42,040 Speaker 1: I miss her so much. But at the same time, 1131 01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:44,920 Speaker 1: I'm also really happy because she's been able to focus 1132 01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:47,480 Speaker 1: and I've been able to focus, and we've had this 1133 01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:50,280 Speaker 1: moment to really go all in on our careers again 1134 01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:52,600 Speaker 1: and then to come back again and be together and 1135 01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:54,520 Speaker 1: go all in on that. And it's just I think 1136 01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:59,120 Speaker 1: it's so healthy because marriage will also demand separation, especially 1137 01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:01,760 Speaker 1: with careers that we have, where you could be on 1138 01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:04,480 Speaker 1: tour again and you know, and you're in a relationship, 1139 01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:07,080 Speaker 1: and so that aspect of coming home alone is such 1140 01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:09,240 Speaker 1: a hell. Even now, like I've I mean, we were 1141 01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:11,520 Speaker 1: together every day for two years, you're in the pandemic, 1142 01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:14,040 Speaker 1: and now we've been apart for four months. It took 1143 01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:16,000 Speaker 1: days to get used to the fact that I didn't 1144 01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,040 Speaker 1: have someone's head on my chest going to sleep, Like 1145 01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:21,520 Speaker 1: just that process of like wow, like even I was like, well, 1146 01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:23,280 Speaker 1: I need to get a weighted blanket or I need 1147 01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:25,720 Speaker 1: to get put that brick back on my heart something 1148 01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,760 Speaker 1: like to feel like that weight like future. Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah, 1149 01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:31,680 Speaker 1: because it was just not it was it was so 1150 01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:35,800 Speaker 1: strange because of habit, of course, and the habit with that, 1151 01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:38,800 Speaker 1: but you raised something really interesting. And I've actually not 1152 01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:40,960 Speaker 1: had the fortune yet to go on tour. I do 1153 01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:44,120 Speaker 1: a lot of events speaking, but I haven't been able 1154 01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:45,880 Speaker 1: to go on tour because I was meant to when 1155 01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:48,360 Speaker 1: my book came out in twenty twenty and then I didn't. 1156 01:03:49,440 --> 01:03:52,600 Speaker 1: But I do remember starklely and I work with a 1157 01:03:52,680 --> 01:03:55,400 Speaker 1: lot of musicians and artists who performed to many, many 1158 01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:57,640 Speaker 1: people on stage, and they always told me about that 1159 01:03:57,720 --> 01:04:00,680 Speaker 1: lonely journey home. And I've had very few experiences of it, 1160 01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:02,760 Speaker 1: but when I have, it really did hit me that 1161 01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:05,960 Speaker 1: when you have an audience of people that are fully 1162 01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:08,880 Speaker 1: immersed and everything you're saying and showing you so much 1163 01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:12,360 Speaker 1: love and showing you so much energy, and you dropped 1164 01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:15,320 Speaker 1: every joke right and everything fell and everyone's just in place, 1165 01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:17,240 Speaker 1: and you have this meat and greet and everyone just 1166 01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:19,080 Speaker 1: showers you with more love and tells you how much 1167 01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:22,000 Speaker 1: day connected. And then you get into that car ride 1168 01:04:22,040 --> 01:04:26,520 Speaker 1: back home alone. It's a really really strange feeling, right, 1169 01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:28,680 Speaker 1: and you brought it up there and that's why I 1170 01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:31,440 Speaker 1: remember that. And I remember I got home and my 1171 01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:33,960 Speaker 1: wife had thrown me a party with all our closest 1172 01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,000 Speaker 1: friends as a surprise for when I got home, and 1173 01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:38,440 Speaker 1: I didn't even know, but it was really fascinating. I 1174 01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:40,600 Speaker 1: remember that drive. I was at the Ace. I performed 1175 01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:42,560 Speaker 1: at the Ace, which was the only show I've ever done, 1176 01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:45,040 Speaker 1: which is my own show. And then when I drove 1177 01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:48,680 Speaker 1: home alone in just a hired car, it was really 1178 01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:51,000 Speaker 1: interesting to see that settle down and be happy with 1179 01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:54,560 Speaker 1: myself in that moment. Walk us through how it's felt 1180 01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:56,760 Speaker 1: for you, because I do think that when we live 1181 01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:59,840 Speaker 1: in a world where you're showered with validation and attention 1182 01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:04,880 Speaker 1: and to then leave it hopefully hopefully yeah, hopefully, but 1183 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:07,280 Speaker 1: when when you shout with that genuine love from a lot. 1184 01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:09,480 Speaker 1: I know that my community, I feel so much genuine 1185 01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:11,320 Speaker 1: love from them. But when you go home, you've got 1186 01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:13,200 Speaker 1: to have that relationship with yourself. Can you just walk 1187 01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:14,600 Speaker 1: us through that bit? I want to hear about it 1188 01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:17,120 Speaker 1: from your thoughts, oh man, I mean are in terms 1189 01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:19,600 Speaker 1: of like being on the road and going back to 1190 01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:22,880 Speaker 1: a hotel. I feel like that is such a unique 1191 01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:26,840 Speaker 1: experience because not everyone performs on stage and not everyone 1192 01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:28,880 Speaker 1: it's not going home from a party is one thing, 1193 01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:31,680 Speaker 1: but going home from a party that was you on 1194 01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:34,400 Speaker 1: stage and everyone right, it's it's just really into and 1195 01:05:34,440 --> 01:05:36,680 Speaker 1: I'm always fascinated about hearing about that lonely journey for 1196 01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:38,960 Speaker 1: artists on the way home. Yeah, there is sort of 1197 01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:43,200 Speaker 1: like a physical at least for me, I feel like 1198 01:05:43,320 --> 01:05:47,800 Speaker 1: there's a heavy sort of like, yeah, after I get 1199 01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:52,080 Speaker 1: off stage and now on this you know this tour, 1200 01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:55,280 Speaker 1: I'm usually doing like a meet and greet afterward, and 1201 01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:59,080 Speaker 1: so that's sort of like a little extension of the show, 1202 01:05:59,280 --> 01:06:01,360 Speaker 1: is how it feels, because you're you are meeting people 1203 01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:05,000 Speaker 1: face to face and taking pictures and sometimes hearing very 1204 01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:08,000 Speaker 1: personal things from them. I guess it depends because some 1205 01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:12,160 Speaker 1: days are very hectic where you're just traveling all day 1206 01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:14,760 Speaker 1: and then you have to go on stage and you're 1207 01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:18,640 Speaker 1: kind of like just frantic, this this frantic energy all 1208 01:06:18,760 --> 01:06:21,640 Speaker 1: day and so when you hit like ten pm and 1209 01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:24,000 Speaker 1: you're back in a car or in a hotel room. 1210 01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:28,400 Speaker 1: It's so nice to just finally be still and quiet 1211 01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:32,480 Speaker 1: and not have anybody looking at you, you know, like, oh, 1212 01:06:32,560 --> 01:06:34,880 Speaker 1: everyone was looking at me for a long time. I mean, 1213 01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:39,320 Speaker 1: I have really strange moments where I almost feel like 1214 01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:41,560 Speaker 1: I'm like outside of my body on stage, where sometimes 1215 01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:47,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm everyone there's fifteen hundred people here just 1216 01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:53,600 Speaker 1: sitting yeah, quietly looking at me while I talk Like 1217 01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:56,320 Speaker 1: do you have that every where? You're just and you're 1218 01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:59,200 Speaker 1: just in sort of you kind of go into almost 1219 01:06:59,240 --> 01:07:03,320 Speaker 1: like autopie while you just sort of watch your hands 1220 01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:08,520 Speaker 1: move and gesture to ideas you have, and it's it's 1221 01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:12,120 Speaker 1: so I'm so incredibly grateful for it. I can't imagine. 1222 01:07:13,120 --> 01:07:18,960 Speaker 1: I couldn't have imagined that. I don't know. I'm obviously 1223 01:07:19,040 --> 01:07:23,880 Speaker 1: at the lost words, but it's such a strange feeling 1224 01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:29,040 Speaker 1: to have all of that love and validation coming at you, 1225 01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:35,160 Speaker 1: as you said, and then just be back to being you. Yeah, 1226 01:07:36,240 --> 01:07:38,760 Speaker 1: because that's a version of you. Yeah, but it's not 1227 01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:42,440 Speaker 1: it's not that, it's not you. And then people say like, well, 1228 01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:44,840 Speaker 1: that's not who you really are, that's not I'm like, no, 1229 01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:47,120 Speaker 1: that is who I really am. But it's a piece 1230 01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:51,160 Speaker 1: of me. Yeah, it's a it's a mode I go into. 1231 01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:54,640 Speaker 1: So it's not that like, well they like me. But 1232 01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:57,920 Speaker 1: in my in my darker moments, I've talked about this 1233 01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:01,240 Speaker 1: in therapy. I go sometimes I feel like people only 1234 01:08:01,360 --> 01:08:03,640 Speaker 1: like me for this, like trick I can do and 1235 01:08:03,760 --> 01:08:05,520 Speaker 1: she goes, But it's not really a trick. It's a 1236 01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:08,520 Speaker 1: skill you have. Yeah, it's a it's a job you do. 1237 01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:11,640 Speaker 1: And so that makes me feel better. But sometimes I 1238 01:08:11,720 --> 01:08:16,559 Speaker 1: feel so like, you know, because nobody knows you really. Yeah, 1239 01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:19,800 Speaker 1: like they think they know you, especially like doing a 1240 01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:23,680 Speaker 1: podcast like this. I'm sure your listeners feel like they 1241 01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:28,120 Speaker 1: just know who you are, Yeah, but nobody actually does. 1242 01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:35,920 Speaker 1: I mean it's it's a strange, lonely space that's hard 1243 01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:38,920 Speaker 1: to explain yeah to people. I thought that was a 1244 01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:41,160 Speaker 1: good explanation, And yeah, I think a study I was. 1245 01:08:41,240 --> 01:08:43,280 Speaker 1: I was looking into this. I was like, because I was, 1246 01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:48,160 Speaker 1: I love building new friendships and new connections and deepening relationships. 1247 01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:50,720 Speaker 1: And I really enjoyed that as and even as I 1248 01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:53,479 Speaker 1: get older, because I find that a lot of the 1249 01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:56,400 Speaker 1: friends I grew up with life changes and you move on. 1250 01:08:56,520 --> 01:08:58,400 Speaker 1: And I've moved city twice. I lived in New York. 1251 01:08:58,439 --> 01:09:00,320 Speaker 1: I now live in LA I lived in India for 1252 01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:03,160 Speaker 1: a time, so my life's been very fragmented, and so 1253 01:09:03,240 --> 01:09:06,719 Speaker 1: I've had to rebuild community and family wherever I've landed, 1254 01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:09,479 Speaker 1: and so I really value that as something I try 1255 01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:12,760 Speaker 1: and invest in, especially when I think about one day 1256 01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:15,320 Speaker 1: having children and wanting them to have other children to 1257 01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:17,160 Speaker 1: play with and people's homes to go to and things 1258 01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:19,639 Speaker 1: like that. I think there's an issue when you say 1259 01:09:20,439 --> 01:09:24,680 Speaker 1: this is me or this isn't me. So it's like 1260 01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:26,679 Speaker 1: when you say this person on stage or this person 1261 01:09:26,720 --> 01:09:29,360 Speaker 1: who plays on the field or on the court, that's me. 1262 01:09:29,680 --> 01:09:33,320 Speaker 1: That's me, that's all of me, or the opposite where 1263 01:09:33,360 --> 01:09:35,320 Speaker 1: we go, that's not the real me. This is the 1264 01:09:35,400 --> 01:09:37,439 Speaker 1: real me when I'm on my couch and I'm in sweats, 1265 01:09:37,479 --> 01:09:40,720 Speaker 1: and you put it perfectly, you said, no both of me, 1266 01:09:40,920 --> 01:09:44,120 Speaker 1: and that's just reality. Like if I'm am I silly 1267 01:09:44,200 --> 01:09:46,800 Speaker 1: and goofy with RADI my wife, Yeah I am? But 1268 01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:49,680 Speaker 1: am I also really thoughtful and intentional and focused in 1269 01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:52,200 Speaker 1: my meditation? Yes I am? And do I love being 1270 01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:56,000 Speaker 1: on stage? Yes I do. Do I love business and 1271 01:09:56,240 --> 01:10:00,040 Speaker 1: strategy and growth? Yes? Do I love being among and 1272 01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:02,720 Speaker 1: being really simple and minimalists. Yes I love all of 1273 01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:07,400 Speaker 1: those things, and yes they're paradoxes and oxymorons and contradictions. 1274 01:10:07,840 --> 01:10:11,559 Speaker 1: But I've learned, as time's gone on, to stop trying 1275 01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:15,320 Speaker 1: to force myself to choose one and accept all parts 1276 01:10:15,360 --> 01:10:18,479 Speaker 1: of myself. And that has been the most freeing, the 1277 01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:22,200 Speaker 1: most authentic version I can find when I'm not forcing 1278 01:10:22,320 --> 01:10:25,439 Speaker 1: myself to live one truth and accept that I'm just 1279 01:10:25,560 --> 01:10:28,600 Speaker 1: made of a bunch of them and that's okay. Like 1280 01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:31,280 Speaker 1: I don't have to live a certain way or act 1281 01:10:31,320 --> 01:10:34,679 Speaker 1: a certain way to fall because I don't feel happy there. 1282 01:10:35,040 --> 01:10:37,880 Speaker 1: If I was forced to either be one or the other, 1283 01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:40,880 Speaker 1: I think I'd be really sad. And I consider myself 1284 01:10:40,920 --> 01:10:44,639 Speaker 1: to be quite a joyful, content individual. And I would 1285 01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:47,400 Speaker 1: say that's because I've allowed myself to be okay with 1286 01:10:47,479 --> 01:10:50,760 Speaker 1: the paradoxes within me, if that makes sense. And even 1287 01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:52,920 Speaker 1: with you, like when I'm listening to you, I'm going 1288 01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:55,920 Speaker 1: there's there's a paradox right here where it's like a 1289 01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:59,559 Speaker 1: lot of people talk about how stand up comedians use, 1290 01:11:00,080 --> 01:11:03,400 Speaker 1: you know, use comedy to heal and cope and deal 1291 01:11:03,479 --> 01:11:05,160 Speaker 1: with things. I think that's been like a long term 1292 01:11:05,280 --> 01:11:08,000 Speaker 1: myth that kind of gets thrown around, probably a bit 1293 01:11:08,080 --> 01:11:11,000 Speaker 1: too much without ever asking people in the industry. And 1294 01:11:11,280 --> 01:11:13,160 Speaker 1: then when I look at you, I'm like, but here's 1295 01:11:13,160 --> 01:11:15,799 Speaker 1: someone who's doing like therapy and work behind the scenes 1296 01:11:15,840 --> 01:11:17,760 Speaker 1: and like thinking about it, and then the comedy is 1297 01:11:17,840 --> 01:11:21,760 Speaker 1: more expressed through that learning as well and all of 1298 01:11:21,840 --> 01:11:23,519 Speaker 1: that with that, how do you find that because you 1299 01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:25,559 Speaker 1: mentioned earlier obviously in the new special, you speak about 1300 01:11:25,560 --> 01:11:28,760 Speaker 1: bipolo and you speak about mental health a lot more 1301 01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:32,240 Speaker 1: in your work, but you've been doing mental health work. 1302 01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:34,439 Speaker 1: So I'm so at least and I don't want to 1303 01:11:34,479 --> 01:11:37,560 Speaker 1: assume anything I'm asking. It sounds like comedy to you 1304 01:11:37,760 --> 01:11:43,960 Speaker 1: is not an outlet or a healing tool or expressive too. 1305 01:11:44,120 --> 01:11:45,920 Speaker 1: I guess it's more of an expression tool than it 1306 01:11:46,040 --> 01:11:48,559 Speaker 1: is a healing tool. Yeah, I feel, yeah, sorry if 1307 01:11:48,560 --> 01:11:50,160 Speaker 1: I'm messing up the question. But no, no, no, not 1308 01:11:50,280 --> 01:11:52,760 Speaker 1: at all. I think what's funny is I think maybe 1309 01:11:52,840 --> 01:11:55,600 Speaker 1: I used to think it was a healing tool, not 1310 01:11:55,840 --> 01:11:58,040 Speaker 1: in that this is where I talk about it, but 1311 01:11:58,200 --> 01:12:01,920 Speaker 1: I think I thought that if I could make fun 1312 01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:05,560 Speaker 1: of something or turn something into a joke, then that 1313 01:12:05,680 --> 01:12:09,320 Speaker 1: would be the same as me getting over it, right, 1314 01:12:09,520 --> 01:12:12,080 Speaker 1: Like that's dealt with because it's a joke now, Like 1315 01:12:12,360 --> 01:12:15,840 Speaker 1: I turned this into my career. This has turned into 1316 01:12:16,479 --> 01:12:19,320 Speaker 1: something that's going to make me money, So now it's 1317 01:12:19,360 --> 01:12:21,519 Speaker 1: not a bad thing that happened to me. It is 1318 01:12:22,200 --> 01:12:26,599 Speaker 1: an experience that I turned into something that other people enjoy. 1319 01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:28,760 Speaker 1: And you know, I think in that way I thought 1320 01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:32,160 Speaker 1: I was saying, But in going to therapy consistently and 1321 01:12:32,320 --> 01:12:38,360 Speaker 1: seeing both a therapist and a psychiatrist and recognizing that 1322 01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:45,280 Speaker 1: just because you know something about yourself doesn't mean you've 1323 01:12:45,840 --> 01:12:52,080 Speaker 1: dealt with it, yea completely. Like I was so upset 1324 01:12:52,479 --> 01:12:58,760 Speaker 1: when I figured out that knowing something logically did not 1325 01:12:58,920 --> 01:13:01,439 Speaker 1: mean that it was heeled. I was like, well, if 1326 01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:05,360 Speaker 1: I just untangle it, I'll be great now. But it's 1327 01:13:05,400 --> 01:13:07,840 Speaker 1: all that stuff about trauma living in your body and 1328 01:13:07,920 --> 01:13:11,360 Speaker 1: what it's like you like, But I know what this is. 1329 01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:15,000 Speaker 1: I know this is a traumatic response to X, Y, 1330 01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:17,439 Speaker 1: and Z that happened to me. Why am I still 1331 01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:21,160 Speaker 1: feeling the brick on my chest? Because it's it's more 1332 01:13:21,320 --> 01:13:29,120 Speaker 1: than just something you intellectualize. It is a physical, emotional, emotional, 1333 01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:34,080 Speaker 1: spiritual thing that you have to work through and spend 1334 01:13:34,120 --> 01:13:38,720 Speaker 1: a lot of time working through, not just figuring it 1335 01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:41,439 Speaker 1: out and going awesome, So that's done. Check the box. 1336 01:13:42,080 --> 01:13:46,720 Speaker 1: So I think that especially with this special, I at 1337 01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:49,400 Speaker 1: first I wasn't going to do any jokes about some 1338 01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:53,479 Speaker 1: of the aspects of my mental health journey in the 1339 01:13:53,560 --> 01:13:56,960 Speaker 1: last couple of years. And then I think my brain 1340 01:13:57,120 --> 01:13:59,679 Speaker 1: just works this way where I just kind of thinking jokes. 1341 01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:02,240 Speaker 1: As soon as I started thinking of jokes, I was like, 1342 01:14:02,280 --> 01:14:04,320 Speaker 1: maybe I should try these yah, And I was like, 1343 01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:07,200 Speaker 1: I won't do them, but I'll try them. And then 1344 01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:09,960 Speaker 1: once I started doing jokes about it, I started getting 1345 01:14:09,960 --> 01:14:12,640 Speaker 1: messages from people who were like, oh my gosh, I 1346 01:14:12,760 --> 01:14:14,880 Speaker 1: just got diagnosed with this, or I've been trying to 1347 01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:18,160 Speaker 1: get on antidepressants, or or I've been feeling this way, 1348 01:14:18,240 --> 01:14:19,880 Speaker 1: or you really encourage me to go back to therapy. 1349 01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:25,040 Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, then you just do it. 1350 01:14:25,160 --> 01:14:27,240 Speaker 1: But I was really nervous before the special came out. 1351 01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:30,400 Speaker 1: I was like, did I share too much? Did I 1352 01:14:30,680 --> 01:14:34,360 Speaker 1: put too much out there? But my therapist is like, 1353 01:14:34,439 --> 01:14:37,040 Speaker 1: you're you are doing the work, like it's that's what 1354 01:14:37,120 --> 01:14:39,880 Speaker 1: I'm seeing. Yeah, So I think as long as you're 1355 01:14:39,880 --> 01:14:45,200 Speaker 1: doing the work, it's it's not gonna be fixed by you. 1356 01:14:45,720 --> 01:14:49,400 Speaker 1: Posting about it on social media or even talking to 1357 01:14:49,520 --> 01:14:51,599 Speaker 1: friends about it like you're good, like you are going 1358 01:14:51,640 --> 01:14:55,519 Speaker 1: to have to do that work privately, So I think. 1359 01:14:56,600 --> 01:14:58,559 Speaker 1: I think that's the only way that I've I've been 1360 01:14:58,640 --> 01:15:03,519 Speaker 1: able to talk about it in my material. And I 1361 01:15:03,640 --> 01:15:06,760 Speaker 1: wish I was more of like a I don't know, 1362 01:15:07,080 --> 01:15:10,599 Speaker 1: just generally observational comedian, but I'm not. I draw from 1363 01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:12,680 Speaker 1: my own life and I write about stuff I'm going 1364 01:15:12,760 --> 01:15:15,479 Speaker 1: through because again, I'm insecure about talking about things I 1365 01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:21,160 Speaker 1: have no experience with. So that's just kind of kind 1366 01:15:21,200 --> 01:15:22,640 Speaker 1: of how I come at it and the sort of 1367 01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:25,080 Speaker 1: the sort of writer I am. I suppose it comes 1368 01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:27,360 Speaker 1: out great. I love it, and I love what you 1369 01:15:27,439 --> 01:15:29,639 Speaker 1: said that, Like like when you said I think in jokes, 1370 01:15:29,680 --> 01:15:31,320 Speaker 1: I get that because you think in jokes. I think 1371 01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:33,920 Speaker 1: in quotes, and it makes sense. Like whenever I hear something, 1372 01:15:33,920 --> 01:15:35,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, how do I turn that into something 1373 01:15:35,439 --> 01:15:37,680 Speaker 1: really memorable and simple that I will keep in my 1374 01:15:37,840 --> 01:15:39,920 Speaker 1: brain that allows me to use it as a tool 1375 01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:41,920 Speaker 1: later on, And that's kind of how I think. And 1376 01:15:41,960 --> 01:15:43,760 Speaker 1: then I think, okay, well, how do I find a 1377 01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:45,640 Speaker 1: quote or hear a quote or share a quote with 1378 01:15:45,680 --> 01:15:47,280 Speaker 1: my audience so that they can remember it, so that 1379 01:15:47,439 --> 01:15:50,280 Speaker 1: that clarifies an idea for them as well. And so 1380 01:15:50,560 --> 01:15:51,960 Speaker 1: it makes sense because you're like, Okay, well, how do 1381 01:15:52,040 --> 01:15:54,600 Speaker 1: I make it funny so that it's memorable from it 1382 01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:56,840 Speaker 1: so that you remember they remember it. So that feels 1383 01:15:56,960 --> 01:15:59,160 Speaker 1: very real. I get that, like that's how you try, 1384 01:15:59,240 --> 01:16:02,000 Speaker 1: and it's almost like that's how you try and capture 1385 01:16:02,040 --> 01:16:05,679 Speaker 1: an idea so that it sticks and stays and become 1386 01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:07,760 Speaker 1: some of that people can share. But Taylor, you've been 1387 01:16:07,840 --> 01:16:10,559 Speaker 1: so generous and kind with your time. It's been such 1388 01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:13,559 Speaker 1: a joy getting to know you today. Honestly, it really has. 1389 01:16:13,920 --> 01:16:17,440 Speaker 1: Oh this was so nice. This is not like most podcasts. 1390 01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:20,320 Speaker 1: I try to leave a cushion afterward to sort of 1391 01:16:20,400 --> 01:16:23,639 Speaker 1: recovery as an introvert, where you're like, okay, I gotta 1392 01:16:23,680 --> 01:16:27,200 Speaker 1: and this was just like refreshing, and this was like 1393 01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:29,320 Speaker 1: really just felt like hanging out with them, and I 1394 01:16:29,360 --> 01:16:32,480 Speaker 1: wanted to hang out with Oh. I feel like invigorated 1395 01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:34,800 Speaker 1: after this is so nice. Oh wow, that means the 1396 01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:36,840 Speaker 1: world to me. Thank you so much. No, genuinely, Like 1397 01:16:37,560 --> 01:16:39,080 Speaker 1: as I said, I've been such a huge fan for 1398 01:16:39,160 --> 01:16:41,120 Speaker 1: such a long time and to get to know you 1399 01:16:41,200 --> 01:16:45,120 Speaker 1: today is just it's it's even better than I thought 1400 01:16:45,160 --> 01:16:48,920 Speaker 1: it was going to be because I feel like I 1401 01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:50,960 Speaker 1: already had high expectations and that's what I'm saying, that 1402 01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:53,400 Speaker 1: you just blew through them and just who you are 1403 01:16:53,439 --> 01:16:55,400 Speaker 1: as a human and how you think about things and 1404 01:16:55,479 --> 01:16:57,600 Speaker 1: how you're making this like it's just it's amazing, and 1405 01:16:57,680 --> 01:17:00,320 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that you said yes to come in 1406 01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:03,240 Speaker 1: on the show and being here. We end every on 1407 01:17:03,280 --> 01:17:05,880 Speaker 1: Purpose episode with a final five, which is meant to 1408 01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:08,360 Speaker 1: be a fast five, which I always ruined because I 1409 01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:11,880 Speaker 1: get intrigued. But I will try and do it fast 1410 01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:13,640 Speaker 1: with you. So these are five questions I have to 1411 01:17:13,680 --> 01:17:17,200 Speaker 1: be answered in one word to one sentence maximum okay, 1412 01:17:17,439 --> 01:17:20,040 Speaker 1: and I will ruin it. So's it's my job to 1413 01:17:20,120 --> 01:17:22,320 Speaker 1: ruin it, and you pretend to try and stick to 1414 01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:24,720 Speaker 1: the yes. Okay. So question number one is what is 1415 01:17:24,760 --> 01:17:28,320 Speaker 1: the best advice you've ever received? You can always change 1416 01:17:28,360 --> 01:17:30,960 Speaker 1: your mind. Nice, that's a that's a great piece of 1417 01:17:30,960 --> 01:17:32,760 Speaker 1: We've never had that. That's a great piece of advice. Yes, 1418 01:17:32,800 --> 01:17:34,879 Speaker 1: I found a new one. Yeah you did. Yeah, that's 1419 01:17:34,920 --> 01:17:37,479 Speaker 1: a great I love that. What's the worst piece of 1420 01:17:37,520 --> 01:17:40,799 Speaker 1: advice you've ever received. If you take time off, everyone 1421 01:17:40,920 --> 01:17:44,200 Speaker 1: might forget about you. Wow, that's so good, true love. 1422 01:17:45,600 --> 01:17:48,080 Speaker 1: That's not great, that's that really. I just remember that 1423 01:17:48,120 --> 01:17:50,320 Speaker 1: because it really tapped into like the workaholic in me. 1424 01:17:50,560 --> 01:17:53,519 Speaker 1: Yeah that I've always Yeah I've not always, but I've 1425 01:17:53,760 --> 01:17:56,320 Speaker 1: really tried to move away from so the idea that 1426 01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:59,360 Speaker 1: somebody would say my worst fear out loud, Yeah, definitely. 1427 01:17:59,560 --> 01:18:00,880 Speaker 1: I Mean when I first came in and I was 1428 01:18:01,240 --> 01:18:03,920 Speaker 1: first started coaching here, I had talent told me that 1429 01:18:04,320 --> 01:18:06,360 Speaker 1: they were told by their first manager that you look, 1430 01:18:06,400 --> 01:18:08,600 Speaker 1: you've got a three year career. Yes, you've got a 1431 01:18:08,680 --> 01:18:10,680 Speaker 1: three year career. You've got to make the most of 1432 01:18:10,720 --> 01:18:12,400 Speaker 1: three years. And after that you'll be irrelevant. And it's 1433 01:18:12,400 --> 01:18:14,240 Speaker 1: the same thing, like you just get you stop it. 1434 01:18:14,280 --> 01:18:16,320 Speaker 1: And I remember even when I remember when I got 1435 01:18:16,360 --> 01:18:18,280 Speaker 1: to one thousand, when I was first starting out, one 1436 01:18:18,280 --> 01:18:20,800 Speaker 1: thousand subscribers on YouTube, which I was really happy about 1437 01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:23,439 Speaker 1: and excited about at the time and still am. And 1438 01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:25,640 Speaker 1: I remember my friends going to me, so this is 1439 01:18:25,760 --> 01:18:27,960 Speaker 1: the peak, basically, like this is it, Like they'll never 1440 01:18:28,080 --> 01:18:30,120 Speaker 1: be more than this, and so you should just make 1441 01:18:30,200 --> 01:18:32,160 Speaker 1: the most of it. Because that's and I remember like 1442 01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:35,160 Speaker 1: that it was that fear mindset that every time I 1443 01:18:35,320 --> 01:18:37,760 Speaker 1: hit a new peak, people around me would say to me, Oh, 1444 01:18:37,840 --> 01:18:39,840 Speaker 1: that's the peak, then, so that's it. Now you've done 1445 01:18:39,880 --> 01:18:41,920 Speaker 1: it now, And I was like, wait, only if you 1446 01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:45,720 Speaker 1: think that, like you know, so great, great answers so far, 1447 01:18:45,760 --> 01:18:48,400 Speaker 1: all right? Question number three, what's something that you think 1448 01:18:48,479 --> 01:18:52,800 Speaker 1: people value that you don't value. Maybe this sounds sort 1449 01:18:52,840 --> 01:18:57,120 Speaker 1: of dumb, but whether or not people think I'm cool? Yeah, 1450 01:18:57,360 --> 01:19:01,040 Speaker 1: I guess, and that's probably pretty like entertainment industry specific. 1451 01:19:01,520 --> 01:19:04,200 Speaker 1: But I do think that there's like a lot of 1452 01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:08,720 Speaker 1: like insecurity in this business, and there's a lot of 1453 01:19:10,479 --> 01:19:13,120 Speaker 1: like hoping other people like you and like I think 1454 01:19:13,160 --> 01:19:18,599 Speaker 1: you're cool, yeah, And I don't really care about that anymore, 1455 01:19:18,960 --> 01:19:23,040 Speaker 1: Like I really just want to be happy and find 1456 01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:27,559 Speaker 1: my people and focus on those relationships, and everyone else 1457 01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:29,320 Speaker 1: is kind of like feel however you want to feel 1458 01:19:29,360 --> 01:19:32,839 Speaker 1: about me. But I definitely used to be very concerned 1459 01:19:32,880 --> 01:19:36,680 Speaker 1: about that, and it actually, I think made me far 1460 01:19:36,960 --> 01:19:41,640 Speaker 1: less cool and less likable because I was really just 1461 01:19:41,800 --> 01:19:44,160 Speaker 1: terrified of everybody. So then I would be too quiet 1462 01:19:44,240 --> 01:19:47,000 Speaker 1: and then everyone would assume I was mean yeah, and 1463 01:19:47,120 --> 01:19:50,559 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm just scared, So yeah, I think I think, yeah, 1464 01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:55,400 Speaker 1: just what other people think of you, when really I 1465 01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:59,040 Speaker 1: just care what the people I like think of me. Yeah. 1466 01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:02,719 Speaker 1: Number four, This has been a question I've been asking 1467 01:20:02,760 --> 01:20:04,280 Speaker 1: recently because I want to help peop who are listening 1468 01:20:04,320 --> 01:20:07,120 Speaker 1: as well, Like, how do you think about how you 1469 01:20:07,240 --> 01:20:09,920 Speaker 1: choose your friends and the people around you, whether it's 1470 01:20:10,080 --> 01:20:14,040 Speaker 1: personal or professional. I want to surround myself with people 1471 01:20:14,120 --> 01:20:21,080 Speaker 1: who work really hard, are kind and empathetic, and that 1472 01:20:21,240 --> 01:20:27,439 Speaker 1: I trust in every way, but mostly that if we 1473 01:20:27,600 --> 01:20:32,479 Speaker 1: ever have a disagreement or miscommunication or argument, we're going 1474 01:20:32,520 --> 01:20:34,880 Speaker 1: to talk about it and deal with it and get 1475 01:20:34,920 --> 01:20:37,000 Speaker 1: through it. So I think that's I want. I want 1476 01:20:37,040 --> 01:20:40,320 Speaker 1: people around me that make me want to be a 1477 01:20:40,360 --> 01:20:45,679 Speaker 1: better person and put in the same level of energy 1478 01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:48,599 Speaker 1: and effort into our relationship that I'm going to love those. 1479 01:20:49,320 --> 01:20:52,479 Speaker 1: Fifth and final question, Taylor, what is if you could 1480 01:20:52,479 --> 01:20:54,759 Speaker 1: create one law in the world that everyone had to follow. 1481 01:20:55,040 --> 01:20:58,240 Speaker 1: What would it be? Oh, one law in the world. Yeah, 1482 01:20:58,800 --> 01:21:02,360 Speaker 1: everyone had a question, reguest Eva. Oh my gosh, I 1483 01:21:02,479 --> 01:21:04,080 Speaker 1: want to I want to know what the best answer 1484 01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:07,320 Speaker 1: you've gotten. I don't think they're all surprising, Like you 1485 01:21:07,439 --> 01:21:10,000 Speaker 1: get everything from something really simple, like be kind to 1486 01:21:10,360 --> 01:21:13,800 Speaker 1: some really specific thoughtful stuff, and so I don't I 1487 01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:15,559 Speaker 1: don't think we've had a best answer, but I am 1488 01:21:15,680 --> 01:21:18,479 Speaker 1: currently compiling every answer we've ever had. It going to 1489 01:21:18,520 --> 01:21:21,519 Speaker 1: be fun to look at, like the breath of answers, 1490 01:21:23,200 --> 01:21:27,519 Speaker 1: one law that everyone had to follow, or one habit 1491 01:21:27,640 --> 01:21:29,519 Speaker 1: that they had to do every day, one habit that 1492 01:21:29,640 --> 01:21:32,479 Speaker 1: they had to do every day. I mean, everyone should 1493 01:21:32,479 --> 01:21:36,800 Speaker 1: be journaling probably, yeah, I guess that. Maybe. Yeah. Have 1494 01:21:36,840 --> 01:21:38,760 Speaker 1: you been journaling for a long time? Do you know 1495 01:21:38,800 --> 01:21:41,200 Speaker 1: what I've noticed this is going back to the relationship 1496 01:21:41,280 --> 01:21:44,240 Speaker 1: single thing. When I am in a relationship, I'm terrible 1497 01:21:44,280 --> 01:21:48,080 Speaker 1: about journaling. Wow. And then when I'm single, I'm great 1498 01:21:48,080 --> 01:21:51,040 Speaker 1: about it. And it makes a huge difference. Wow. And 1499 01:21:52,080 --> 01:21:54,960 Speaker 1: I remember the last time I got out of a relationship, 1500 01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:59,720 Speaker 1: I had been telling myself, Okay, well I'll get back 1501 01:21:59,720 --> 01:22:01,479 Speaker 1: to I've been telling myself that for months and I 1502 01:22:01,560 --> 01:22:04,360 Speaker 1: thought I hadn't journaled in like two three months, which 1503 01:22:04,439 --> 01:22:07,280 Speaker 1: is still bad. And I went back into it after 1504 01:22:07,439 --> 01:22:12,800 Speaker 1: my breakup and I my last entry was like going 1505 01:22:12,880 --> 01:22:15,479 Speaker 1: on a date with the person I ended up in 1506 01:22:15,520 --> 01:22:19,600 Speaker 1: a relationship with. Wow, which is I mean again, I 1507 01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:21,720 Speaker 1: thought I was like, it's been like sixty days, I'll 1508 01:22:21,720 --> 01:22:25,120 Speaker 1: get back to it and it had just been so long. Well, 1509 01:22:25,200 --> 01:22:28,040 Speaker 1: that has so many lessons in it. That is that 1510 01:22:28,200 --> 01:22:30,360 Speaker 1: is such a great answer, because I think we leave 1511 01:22:30,400 --> 01:22:32,040 Speaker 1: so many of our best habits when we get into 1512 01:22:32,080 --> 01:22:34,519 Speaker 1: relationships and then wonder what went wrong, and so so 1513 01:22:34,760 --> 01:22:38,280 Speaker 1: journaling and no yelling. I guess yeah, unless you're happy 1514 01:22:38,360 --> 01:22:42,280 Speaker 1: and excited, no mean yelling me yelling. I love that 1515 01:22:42,760 --> 01:22:47,559 Speaker 1: very deep and profound. Taylor, you are incredible. I think 1516 01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:51,559 Speaker 1: you're cool. I would yell in excitement I did when 1517 01:22:51,640 --> 01:22:55,320 Speaker 1: you first came. No, I am so so happy that 1518 01:22:55,400 --> 01:22:56,920 Speaker 1: we got to do this. I'm so happy to get 1519 01:22:56,960 --> 01:22:59,759 Speaker 1: to meet you. For anyone who's been listening or watching 1520 01:22:59,840 --> 01:23:03,080 Speaker 1: it home, make sure you tag Taylor and me on Instagram, 1521 01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:05,679 Speaker 1: on Twitter, on all platforms so that we can see 1522 01:23:05,720 --> 01:23:07,920 Speaker 1: what resonated with you, what connected with you. I love 1523 01:23:08,120 --> 01:23:11,320 Speaker 1: love love knowing what Taylor said that is going to 1524 01:23:11,360 --> 01:23:12,800 Speaker 1: stay with you, is going to stick with you, that 1525 01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:15,960 Speaker 1: connected with you, that moved you. And of course I 1526 01:23:16,120 --> 01:23:18,920 Speaker 1: highly recommend that you go and check out quarter Life 1527 01:23:18,960 --> 01:23:21,800 Speaker 1: Crisis and look at you and follow Taylor on every 1528 01:23:21,840 --> 01:23:23,800 Speaker 1: single platform so that you can stay up to date 1529 01:23:24,120 --> 01:23:26,160 Speaker 1: and so that you don't have to see me send 1530 01:23:26,240 --> 01:23:29,640 Speaker 1: these scary videos, funny videos and exciting videos, but that 1531 01:23:29,760 --> 01:23:33,719 Speaker 1: you can do it yourself. But Taylor, you are continue 1532 01:23:33,720 --> 01:23:36,760 Speaker 1: to be the comedian that I follow the most, that 1533 01:23:36,840 --> 01:23:38,680 Speaker 1: I love the most, that I watched the most, and 1534 01:23:39,320 --> 01:23:42,200 Speaker 1: I'm so honored, so so excited to see what you 1535 01:23:42,280 --> 01:23:46,360 Speaker 1: do next. I'm convinced for someone as talented as you, 1536 01:23:46,479 --> 01:23:48,200 Speaker 1: and someone has grounded as you and who's doing the 1537 01:23:48,240 --> 01:23:51,400 Speaker 1: work so early that anything's possible, and it's you know, 1538 01:23:51,520 --> 01:23:53,280 Speaker 1: more and more is going to happen as time goes on. 1539 01:23:53,479 --> 01:23:56,840 Speaker 1: So really really excited for you, excited to be an 1540 01:23:56,880 --> 01:23:59,720 Speaker 1: observer and a cheerleader on the journey. Thank you so much. 1541 01:23:59,800 --> 01:24:02,639 Speaker 1: It was seriously, so so nice to meet you finally 1542 01:24:02,680 --> 01:24:05,000 Speaker 1: in person. And I'm obviously such a fan as well. 1543 01:24:05,080 --> 01:24:08,840 Speaker 1: And um, I can't wait to meet your wife as well, 1544 01:24:08,920 --> 01:24:11,400 Speaker 1: so you have to be friends with me now yeah 1545 01:24:11,400 --> 01:24:14,679 Speaker 1: and she comes back like a month, so yeah, yeah, definitely. 1546 01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:17,639 Speaker 1: But thank you, Taylor. Thanks, Thanks everyone for listening and watching. 1547 01:24:18,240 --> 01:24:20,559 Speaker 1: Makes you share this with a friend who would love 1548 01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:22,680 Speaker 1: to hear it would benefit from it. I hope that 1549 01:24:22,720 --> 01:24:25,160 Speaker 1: you pass it on and it changes someone day today 1550 01:24:25,160 --> 01:24:26,360 Speaker 1: as well. So thank you all,