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Speaker 1: The Nicky Gliser Podcast. O Glaser Posa, here's Nikki. Hello here,

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Speaker 1: I am welcome to the show.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's right, that's Noah's voice, live and in the flesh. Mama,

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Speaker 2: Noah is back on the show. Uh, Brian is here too. Noah,

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Speaker 2: welcome back to the show. Oh my god, you're a

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Speaker 2: full blown mom now? Yeah? Do you It's like, is it?

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Speaker 2: Is it okay? So many questions to ask. Does it

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Speaker 2: feel like coming back to work and like getting your

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Speaker 2: bearings on, like going back into the real world. Does

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Speaker 2: it feel like you're coming out of the show alone

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Speaker 2: and like you've been in the wilderness kind of for

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Speaker 2: a while and you've acclimated to that life and now

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Speaker 2: you are, you know, just re emerging and your tanner

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Speaker 2: and you're oh draggled, and you've built a bunch of

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Speaker 2: stone shelters and you've been forging for food. Like does

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Speaker 2: it feel like kind of like bleary eyed, like coming

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Speaker 2: back to life?

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Speaker 3: Like, first of all, I cannot believe that it's been

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Speaker 3: three months. Three months Jesus Christ, like a quarter of

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Speaker 3: a year, I've heard, And it feels like sort of

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Speaker 3: like my life stopped at like the moment that your

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Speaker 3: life blew up, which is interesting, fair because I was

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Speaker 3: like here the podcast for all that stuff.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I just have to know I've changed too.

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Speaker 4: And oh.

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Speaker 2: But I'm leaving my baby behind a dumpster and coming

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Speaker 2: back to the way I was I Casey Anthony.

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Speaker 1: Whatever happened back.

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Speaker 2: Then, it's gone all that hubbuh and it's settled back

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Speaker 2: down and I'm back doing.

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Speaker 1: What I used to do. But uh, yeah, it's that's interesting.

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Speaker 2: Our lives kind of mine got kind of crazy, and

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Speaker 2: so did yours. I mean, yours has changed so much.

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Speaker 2: Let's just start with headlights. What's the biggest Let's I

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Speaker 2: always ask this of new moms, and I think I

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Speaker 2: don't think it's like a good interesting question. Not patting

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Speaker 2: myself on the back, like everyone should really ask this,

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Speaker 2: but like, what's the thing that you did not anticipate

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Speaker 2: the biggest surprise of, Like people didn't prepare you for.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I guess, like I didn't know how many diapers

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Speaker 3: we'd go through, especially in the beginning.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't know how much babies need to.

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Speaker 3: Eat, especially if you're nursing them.

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Speaker 1: There's something called me cluster eating.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, I've only heard the word cluster when it

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Speaker 2: comes to headaches that make you want to kill yourself,

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Speaker 2: you know, oh yeah, cluster cluster, like, oh yeah, all

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Speaker 2: things that tend to avoid. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So cluster feeding is basically if you're nursing, which is breastfeeding,

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Speaker 3: it's like you're feeding the baby on demand, so there's

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Speaker 3: no schedule or anything like that. She just will want

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Speaker 3: to eat and like infant, you know, because she just

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Speaker 3: starts crying. Yeah, So basically when a baby starts crying

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Speaker 3: because she's tired or what if she's crying because she's

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Speaker 3: like something like a zipper on her Onesie is poking her.

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Speaker 2: Back, like how do you know You're just like shoving

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Speaker 2: her tit in her face and she's like, no, I'm

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Speaker 2: just tired, mom.

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Speaker 1: So basically she would brood.

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Speaker 3: Brooding is when like they turned to the side and

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Speaker 3: open their mouth like they're looking for the nipple. She

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Speaker 3: would have little yeah exactly, okay, I much fists like

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Speaker 3: she's about to box. Those are two signs. And then

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Speaker 3: if she's really agitated crying, it'll be one of three things.

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Speaker 3: She's hungry, she needs a diaper change, or she's got

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Speaker 3: a burp or fart.

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Speaker 2: Okay, and I didn't canceled her favorite show or discontinued

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Speaker 2: her favorite deodorant or protein.

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Speaker 3: But another big surprise is I didn't know that baby's

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Speaker 3: farts are like as loud as adult farts.

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Speaker 2: Wow, oh, who makes sense because babies are so loud anyway,

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Speaker 2: Like I have said this before, but the reason babies

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Speaker 2: are like so loud and they don't like you hear

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Speaker 2: babies sometimes and you're like, man, that baby's gonna be

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Speaker 2: horse the rest of its life because of how it's screaming. Like,

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Speaker 2: babies are relaxed. Babies aren't tense and like nervous about stuff,

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Speaker 2: so they're so when they they vibrate like a boombox,

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Speaker 2: like they're a little you ever see, Like I have

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Speaker 2: like a little Bow's micro boombox, and it's so small,

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Speaker 2: but it produces so much sound like thet the little boomboxes,

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Speaker 2: because they're relaxed and they're vibrating so much that they

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Speaker 2: they don't need to.

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Speaker 1: Do the same things that we need to do to

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Speaker 1: produce this crazy sound.

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Speaker 3: But I was thinking, I was thinking about what you said,

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Speaker 3: because you talked about this previously from your voice. Lesson

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Speaker 3: is that babies like naturally know how to use their

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Speaker 3: diaphragm to be loud.

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Speaker 1: And she she does.

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Speaker 3: You know. I remember when we went to see Taylor

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Speaker 3: Swift and I was like talking about how you can't

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Speaker 3: see any strain on her throat, yes, like like in

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Speaker 3: her neck, I mean, like no veins popping out or

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Speaker 3: anything like that.

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Speaker 1: When she sings loud.

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Speaker 3: Toby is the same wow, belch out, just like Taylor

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Speaker 3: Swift can.

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Speaker 2: So it's a lot of more feeding than you anticipated.

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Speaker 2: It's just non stop I'm guessing, yeah, But it also comes.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: And so in the beginning, like the babies are not

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Speaker 3: as efficient eaters, So I could be feeding her for

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Speaker 3: like an hour and.

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Speaker 2: She's just like kind of not It's like she's sucking.

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Speaker 3: On a broken straw. Like she's just not getting right,

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Speaker 3: getting a little bit out of time.

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Speaker 2: Think nothing more annoying than that. By the way, that's

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Speaker 2: way more annoying than it should be. When her straw

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Speaker 2: has like a little bit of a dent in it,

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Speaker 2: it's like it makes it completely useless, and it's and

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Speaker 2: it's frustrating because it happens so often when you when

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Speaker 2: you hit the straw to get the paper out, it

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Speaker 2: will break it'll.

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Speaker 1: Snap it and then you got a fucking weak straw.

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Speaker 3: It sucks and you get a lot of air, so

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Speaker 3: you get so so.

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Speaker 1: The baby's feeding more, But is it like is it

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Speaker 1: non stop?

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Speaker 3: Though?

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Speaker 2: Like? Is it so? Like? Uh, Like I'm watching my parents'

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Speaker 2: dogs this weekend and it's non stop, Like any chance

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Speaker 2: I have to ever relax, I have to go take

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Speaker 2: them for a walk because there's three and at least

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Speaker 2: one has to pee at some point, and it's just

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Speaker 2: like you just have to you maybe have two hours

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Speaker 2: where you can like kind of do what you want,

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Speaker 2: But then they're just looking at you all the time, like,

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Speaker 2: what are you gonna do with us?

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Speaker 1: We're so bored.

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Speaker 2: It's like it's just I hate being on call constantly

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Speaker 2: and feeling guilty constantly. Do you ever get to set

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Speaker 2: her down and just relax?

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Speaker 3: Well, yesterday when you were talking about having to scratch Marion,

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh, okay, Nikki is feeling the like

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Speaker 3: like a motherhood thing.

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Speaker 2: It felt a little bit like nursing in the middle

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Speaker 2: of the night, like I can't sleep. I'm so jealous

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Speaker 2: of my boyfriend who's just conked out not having to

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Speaker 2: do anything right now about this itchy butt. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: I'm the only one that can offer a solution for

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Speaker 2: this dog.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but it does come with a lot of cuddles

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Speaker 3: and love and oxytocin overload, which I could not be

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Speaker 3: more grateful for.

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Speaker 5: But do you have a oh yeah, I'm kind of

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Speaker 5: jealous of that thought.

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Speaker 2: But that's that means that there's if you get too much,

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Speaker 2: then there's a don't you develop a addiction? Not an addiction,

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Speaker 2: but like the other thing where it's like you need

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Speaker 2: more to get high.

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Speaker 1: What's it called? Oh, like my baseline has moved.

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Speaker 5: Tolerance?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, your tolerance, thank you, You're tolerance goes does That's

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Speaker 2: what my first question to you offline was was like

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Speaker 2: I know that like whenever we see babies, and like

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Speaker 2: you first set your baby, you're.

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Speaker 6: Just like, oh my god, she's the cutest, like I do,

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Speaker 6: her hands, her fingers, her fingernails, her like every part

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Speaker 6: of her little lips and her eyes, like every part

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Speaker 6: of them is precious.

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Speaker 2: After a while, do you just go like, Okay, it's

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Speaker 2: just a baby, Like does that stop being as profound

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Speaker 2: and resonant? Not? No, I mean it may be eventually,

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Speaker 2: because I don't see moms walking around going like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you're so like they're they're just kind of like blankly

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Speaker 2: staring at the sidewalk as they push the store. So

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Speaker 2: it must go with do you know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: like maybe fawning over your baby constantly and the mom's

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Speaker 2: just kind of.

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Speaker 1: Like, uh huh, yeah you should, like she's kind.

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Speaker 2: Of over it.

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Speaker 5: I don't want to compare babies to dogs, like you

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Speaker 5: can't clips out about, but I every time I look

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Speaker 5: at Jack, I feel the same reaction, which is that

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Speaker 5: same type of fuzzy feeling.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, I guess I'm relating this to my own dog,

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Speaker 2: who I'm like obsessed with and I want to bite

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Speaker 2: her paws and I want to eat her face, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I love her so much. But there are

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Speaker 2: a lot of times where I realize I am taking

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Speaker 2: her for granted, and I'm just like, oh, she's not

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Speaker 2: as She's just a dog right now, Like she's jumping

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Speaker 2: up and me like and I'm like looking at something

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Speaker 2: on my phone and I'm just like, oh, man, I

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Speaker 2: would have been like I would be melting.

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Speaker 1: Right now if I just met you, but you're just

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Speaker 1: a dog right now.

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Speaker 2: So I do find that it has I need to

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Speaker 2: be away a little bit to feel that again.

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Speaker 1: I can't.

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Speaker 2: It would just be impossible to fawn constantly when you're

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Speaker 2: with your baby twenty two and a half hours a day.

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Speaker 5: I'm guessing what I've seen people do it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there looks fit pretty.

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Speaker 3: The truth is there are times that I'm just like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: will you please sleep for more than a half hour

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Speaker 3: because you can't. I can't get anything done in a

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Speaker 3: half hour. And then there's so many things I've started

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Speaker 3: and then just left unfinished because I just sleeping.

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Speaker 2: Is she just could she just is she either crying

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Speaker 2: or sleeping? Or is there like a car so she'd

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Speaker 2: just like be staring.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she's just staring. She wants to be held or

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Speaker 1: she wants to be held. So she wants to be held.

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Speaker 3: So I've had to turn my foot into a hand

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Speaker 3: basically because I have to hold her in one hand

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Speaker 3: and I only have the other hand free.

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Speaker 2: So I was thinking that you were holding her with

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Speaker 2: your foot. When you said that, I was like, how

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Speaker 2: does that work? But okay, is yeah, there's constantly you

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Speaker 2: got to be like rocking and stuff, and always you

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Speaker 2: just just likes to.

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Speaker 1: Be held up.

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Speaker 3: She she loves so the right now, right now, she

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Speaker 3: Avi is wearing her Okay, I got a book back

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Speaker 3: in like as not book, yeah, as an accessory. So

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Speaker 3: basically infants, newborns, they just crave going back into the womb.

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Speaker 3: So she just wants to be held close to me.

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Speaker 3: She's using her us like like old factory senses and stuff.

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Speaker 3: She's she's using her nose a lot. When she was born,

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Speaker 3: they put her on my stomach and she like wiggled

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Speaker 3: her way up to my nipple.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that crazy's instinct?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And how is she like? Is are their personality traits emerging? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's like a little silly.

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Speaker 3: She likes to She she always smiles first thing in

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Speaker 3: the morning, which is so cute.

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Speaker 2: And that's the best part of your day is waking

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Speaker 2: up in the morning and seeing her smiling when you

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Speaker 2: open the door. Haven't you just seen her an hour

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Speaker 2: before because she woke up to feed her? Is there

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Speaker 2: ever really morning as a mom?

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Speaker 3: Okay, So I will say something that's pretty controversial, which

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Speaker 3: I've told you on girls Chat. We do a controversial thing.

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Speaker 3: We co sleep. So I don't really like when I

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Speaker 3: feed her at night. It's not really that inconvenient for me,

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Speaker 3: to be honest.

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Speaker 1: She eats, and because she's coastleeping means she's in the

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Speaker 1: bed with you guys. Yeah, she's she's sleeping with us.

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Speaker 2: And that's controversial because they're worried you're gonna all over

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Speaker 2: on her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, which I mean, I mean to each his own. Sure, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and I'm sure it does happen.

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Speaker 2: But you but I think on girls chet you were like,

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Speaker 2: and usually has to do with someone who's drunk or

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Speaker 2: on drugs or extremely overweight. Which no shade about any

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Speaker 2: of those things. If you do, if you are those

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Speaker 2: are do those no?

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Speaker 5: I mean, if you're drunk and you want to kill

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Speaker 5: your baby, that's totally fine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think you want. No, they don't want to.

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Speaker 2: I am okay, I'm serious. I don't have shade for addicts.

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Speaker 2: I feel like they don't choose that.

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Speaker 1: Like people sleep with their dogs, right.

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Speaker 5: My dog is uh is always in your bed. My

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Speaker 5: dog is always in my bed. He's eight pounds. I mean,

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Speaker 5: I when when my dog is watched by someone else,

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Speaker 5: I say, don't let him sleep in your bed because

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Speaker 5: I have more scared of that. Yeah, but I trust

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Speaker 5: myself not to do it for some reason.

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Speaker 2: Interesting, Yeah, I I yeah. I sleep with her in

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Speaker 2: the bed and there are times where I get in

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Speaker 2: bed I'm like, oh, that would have just squished her

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Speaker 2: head if that would have been her head.

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Speaker 1: Like and now I'm learning. I'm learning.

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Speaker 2: Man, I've had some close calls, like we she's really

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Speaker 2: good off lea. She just sticks by my feet generally.

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Speaker 2: But there's just no more of that. I'm not pushing.

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Speaker 2: I'm not because I went to the garage the other

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Speaker 2: day and my car is parked in a different place.

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Speaker 2: So usually when I'm going to the garage, like I

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Speaker 2: walk out this one side and I got a new

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Speaker 2: space because I have an electric car now.

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Speaker 5: But yeah, yeah, cool, yeah, you have the handicapped spot

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Speaker 5: for electric vehicles, right, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's it's not ideal.

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Speaker 5: It's and the.

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Speaker 2: Plug at my place is like the shittiest charger ever.

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Speaker 2: It's like your friend's charger that's all for the phone

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Speaker 2: charger that's all frayed and you're like wrap it around

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Speaker 2: your hand to make it work, like you know, like

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Speaker 2: it's it's it charges like two percent every God, it's bad.

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Speaker 2: It's bad.

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Speaker 5: The infrastructure is already decaying.

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Speaker 2: They gave me a good spot at first, and then

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Speaker 2: they were like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Something

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Speaker 2: happened in our system that you can't have that spot anymore.

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Speaker 2: And I go, well, I'm I'm not in town to

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Speaker 2: move my car for another two weeks, and they go, okay,

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Speaker 2: just move on when you get back. And I go, well,

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Speaker 2: who is that understanding that's gonna let my car sit

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Speaker 2: there for two weeks that you can't just give me

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Speaker 2: that spot. And by the way, who the fuck is

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Speaker 2: getting that spot instead of me? I've think at this

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Speaker 2: building for four fucking years. I don't know anyone who's

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Speaker 2: been in this building for four years. I'm not going

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Speaker 2: like I am the I pay more than anyone guaranteed

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Speaker 2: I've been here longer. Who has more seniority than me

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Speaker 2: to get that spot?

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Speaker 1: I don't understand. Chris and I are very upset about it.

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Speaker 2: So they gave me this like janky spot that has

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Speaker 2: like a leak, so to get in my even in

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Speaker 2: my car, I have to step in a puddle, and

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Speaker 2: so my cars are already destroyed in the box, are

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Speaker 2: just like a mess.

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Speaker 5: It's just a approach the subject to them at all yeah.

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Speaker 1: And they go, we'll get back to you. Well, we'll

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Speaker 1: look in our.

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Speaker 2: System, and it's been five days and there's no getting

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Speaker 2: back to me. And usually you're right on it. But

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, what's going on here? So what does

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Speaker 2: this have to do with the dog? So I was

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Speaker 2: walking out to go to my new space and she's

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Speaker 2: so cute. And it was early in the morning, too,

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Speaker 2: which I don't usually I'm not in the garage this

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Speaker 2: early in the morning, and I don't realize how fucking

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Speaker 2: busy it is. Like there's everyone's leaving because everyone has

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Speaker 2: a normal fucking job, and it was like eight thirty,

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Speaker 2: and she was just there's this thing where if people,

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Speaker 2: if people are like people freak out when she's off leash,

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Speaker 2: even though when I'm in like safe areas off leash,

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Speaker 2: people go like, she's off leash. She's walking over by

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Speaker 2: that tree and I'm like, just stay and then they

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Speaker 2: start chasing her and then she runs from them, and

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Speaker 2: I'm I'm just like, I know my dog, if you

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Speaker 2: just act chill, she won't fucking run. Just like, don't

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Speaker 2: mind what I'm doing with my dog, don't chase her,

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Speaker 2: don't freak out like don't put your shit on me.

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Speaker 2: Just because your dog would run into the street doesn't

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Speaker 2: mean mine would. So thank god I get out. She

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Speaker 2: walks out and I see I hear this car coming

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Speaker 2: way too fast, and I see her right on the

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Speaker 2: edge of like where she would be in the way

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Speaker 2: of a car.

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Speaker 1: And I had a decision to.

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Speaker 2: Make of like do I go like come here, like,

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Speaker 2: don't go further into the road, or do I just

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Speaker 2: let the car go pas because if I spook her,

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Speaker 2: she might just dart right, But if I just act

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Speaker 2: like nothing's happening, she'll stay. And I just decided in

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Speaker 2: that moment to act like nothing's happening. And I saw

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Speaker 2: my life flash before my eyes, and also her life

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Speaker 2: in the car.

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Speaker 1: If she would have darted, would be dead.

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Speaker 2: And I just wrote to Chris and I said, we

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Speaker 2: are never ever walking into the garage without her on

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Speaker 2: a leash or holding her ever again. I just learned

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Speaker 2: the biggest lesson and it won't happen. And I'm I

350
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Speaker 2: literally almost lost her. She almost just died. And I'm

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Speaker 2: so grateful that I have that lesson. But did it

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Speaker 2: scare me so much? Yes? And I guess my point

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Speaker 2: is is that you just have to. I just like

354
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Speaker 2: am trying to learn lessons and collect the that stuff

355
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Speaker 2: instead of just being like that was lucky. Now I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 2: well now you can't ever do that again. And thank God,

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Speaker 2: God or whoever just gave you that.

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Speaker 5: And there was a lesson punishment.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if you were to lose her in the parking lot,

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Speaker 3: you wouldn't have a name to put on her headstone.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, that reminds me of this thing on Reddit

363
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Speaker 2: I saw that was so sad that said, oh my god,

364
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Speaker 2: I almost put it on the girl's chat, but I

365
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,280
Speaker 2: just little baby baby dead babies aren't, like really, what's

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Speaker 2: the vibe in there? So it was a headstone of

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Speaker 2: a little girl that like died back in the eighteen hundreds,

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Speaker 2: and it said unwanted baby girl. Oh, and I researched

369
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Speaker 2: it more to be like what the fuck is this?

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Speaker 2: So it was a really popular name back then? Wow,

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Speaker 2: yeah it.

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Speaker 6: Was.

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Speaker 2: It was like, uh, I'm trying to think of it

374
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,800
Speaker 2: was like Emma is now, but no, so she unwanted

375
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Speaker 2: baby girl.

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Speaker 1: They I looked into it.

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Speaker 2: This girl was a product of rape or incest and

378
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Speaker 2: she her mom, like her mom had her and then

379
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,720
Speaker 2: abandoned her because she didn't want her because she was raped.

380
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Speaker 2: And so it was a little girl had this baby,

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Speaker 2: and so she got rid of her. And so the

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Speaker 2: town to shame the daughter, or to shame the mother

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Speaker 2: of the baby, and to uh make women feel bad

384
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Speaker 2: about abandoning their kids, made a decision as a town

385
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Speaker 2: to make this headstone say unwanted baby girl, so that

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Speaker 2: this person was shamed.

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Speaker 1: And it's just so said.

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Speaker 5: So the baby is dead. It didn't just make a

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Speaker 5: faux headstone to share.

390
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Speaker 2: It was real.

391
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Speaker 5: But they made the baby die. They killed the baby after.

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Speaker 2: It was born. I don't know. I really don't know

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Speaker 2: the details of it, but I just know that the

394
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Speaker 2: townspeople can It was men who conspired to shame women

395
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Speaker 2: about abandoning your child, even though that baby was unwanted

396
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Speaker 2: to begin with for a good reason because it was

397
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Speaker 2: a product of rape.

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Speaker 5: And a very man who probably caused this baby's respond.

399
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Speaker 2: Yeah, he was probably the probably in the mob. Yeah exactly.

400
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,720
Speaker 2: It's things were really cool back then.

401
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Speaker 5: I loved it. It was a great time.

402
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Speaker 1: I can't wait to get back to that.

403
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Speaker 2: It's I mean, yeah, a good musket clusters and Muskets.

404
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 5: It was worth it for the Muskets.

405
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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I learned that lesson.

406
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,399
Speaker 2: But yeah, I often and I've gotten into bed and

407
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Speaker 2: I like, now i'm because of the other night I

408
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,760
Speaker 2: kind of plopped in a way that was like, okay,

409
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 2: that could have injured something, And so I learned that lessons.

410
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Speaker 1: Now I gingerly get back into bed.

411
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Speaker 5: Did you ever watch The Sopranos.

412
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Speaker 2: I didn't because I'm scared of violence, but I can

413
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Speaker 2: pretty much get any reference you give me from it.

414
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,200
Speaker 5: So the guy there's one of the characters from The

415
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,919
Speaker 5: Sopranos who I forgot his name, but at one point

416
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,159
Speaker 5: he's doing drugs and then he plops down in the

417
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Speaker 5: couch and he sits on his dog and kills it.

418
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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, it's one of the I remember. I don't

419
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,240
Speaker 5: remember a lot of specific scenes from The Sopranos because

420
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Speaker 5: I watched it when I was like, I don't know

421
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Speaker 5: how old I was, it was like twenty five years ago,

422
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Speaker 5: and that one scene just stuck out in my head

423
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Speaker 5: because I always clock when a dog gets killed in

424
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Speaker 5: the show's and it was horrible. And it wasn't even

425
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,960
Speaker 5: his dog, it was his girlfriend's dog. Oh, God, they

426
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,119
Speaker 5: broke up because of it, obviously.

427
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Speaker 1: And then did she get murdered at some point?

428
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Speaker 5: I don't remember. That's all I remember, is that dog

429
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 5: seeing By.

430
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Speaker 1: The way, is it Sopranos or Sopranos?

431
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,159
Speaker 2: Because someone was saying Sopranos the other day and I

432
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,320
Speaker 2: was just like, I think it's Sopranos and they were like,

433
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 2: have you seen Sopranos? And I was like, no, but

434
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 2: I think it's Sopranos. I've heard people talk about it

435
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,199
Speaker 2: and not thinking of the singer.

436
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:17,199
Speaker 5: Yes, I cannot imagine a single person from New Jersey

437
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,359
Speaker 5: saying Sopranos, okay, and that's where the show takes place.

438
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:21,800
Speaker 1: Thank you.

439
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, forget who this was, but it was someone who

440
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,439
Speaker 2: really seemed so they were so sure of it, and

441
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,760
Speaker 2: they seemed to be so offended by me thinking with

442
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:34,119
Speaker 2: Sopranos that I acquiesced, and I never do when I

443
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 2: know I'm right, And I knew I was right. I've

444
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,280
Speaker 2: lived in a world where the Sopranos has existed for

445
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 2: over crano years now, right, like it's been twenty five

446
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:42,960
Speaker 2: thirty years. It's Sopranos.

447
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,120
Speaker 5: Just think about a New York accent, you know, it's

448
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 5: like they're not They're gonna say, Hey, I was walking

449
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,440
Speaker 5: down the street and I got a piece of pizza

450
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,359
Speaker 5: and then I watched the Sopranos. It doesn't even make sense.

451
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,639
Speaker 5: Sopranos doesn't make sense.

452
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 1: And I'm not.

453
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 2: I am one to correct people quite often when I

454
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,439
Speaker 2: think they're saying something in a weird way, because I

455
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,119
Speaker 2: kind of wanted to educate myself. I kind of remember

456
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,640
Speaker 2: who that person was, because really, I think I can

457
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 2: just because of the way I acquiesced so quick. I

458
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 2: know that I have some kind of fear of this person.

459
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 2: So if you're listening, will you remember? Will you tell

460
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 2: me who you were? Because I definitely fear you because

461
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,639
Speaker 2: I knew you were wrong and I just gave in,

462
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 2: and or I want something from you, or you hold

463
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 2: some sort of power over me, because there's no way

464
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 2: I would let you get away with that otherwise. And

465
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,960
Speaker 2: I don't know why I did that day, but well

466
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,120
Speaker 2: we probably won't figure it out, but we'll be right

467
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,200
Speaker 2: back after this with more with Noah and Brian. Noah's back.

468
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 1: Everyone, Noah's back, and We're back.

469
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 2: Is is motherhood all that you wanted it to be?

470
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 1: All that you expected it to be.

471
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:50,159
Speaker 2: Do you feel like a different person than you were before, Like,

472
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 2: are you profoundly changed forever?

473
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,439
Speaker 3: Well, I guess I'm profoundly changed in the way that

474
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,879
Speaker 3: I've lost my short term memory. It feels like, really,

475
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,159
Speaker 3: oh wow, I have a hard time remembering stuff, and

476
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 3: it's it's pretty common.

477
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 1: It's like the mommy fog. What is what do they

478
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 1: attribute that to? All the oxytocin?

479
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,360
Speaker 5: Just really the oxytocin makes you lose your short term memory.

480
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 1: The bonding chemicals, the yeah, like all the bonding stuff.

481
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:18,679
Speaker 5: Wow.

482
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,640
Speaker 1: Oh, so I wonder what the purpose of that would be,

483
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:23,120
Speaker 1: so that you.

484
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,560
Speaker 4: Just don't remember anything that's good because you don't remember

485
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 4: what your life was like before, you don't have anything

486
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 4: over Yeah, no, no, it seems to be there would

487
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:33,640
Speaker 4: be a reason for that.

488
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 1: I think it's just so that you channel all your

489
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 1: energy into focusing on the baby. That makes sense. That

490
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,919
Speaker 1: makes sense, And when's it's supposed to come back. I

491
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,400
Speaker 1: guess when the baby gets more independent.

492
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think also probably just as I start like

493
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 3: venturing out into the world, like coming back to work,

494
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,280
Speaker 3: which feels like the first day of school. It's like,

495
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 3: I know, seeing everyone and you know you have.

496
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:58,400
Speaker 5: A new binder.

497
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:04,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a trapper Keeper, five star binder that's everywhere edge.

498
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 2: Oh my god. I would always get a new binder

499
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 2: and like new tabs for each subject, and there were

500
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 2: seven fresh tabs, and I would put right in the

501
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 2: subject and I would slide it into that little colored

502
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 2: tab and I would be so organized, and I would

503
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 2: have like my pencil case that fit into the three.

504
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 1: Ring binder as well. It would be all ship.

505
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 2: By the end of the week, I would be writing

506
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 2: everything in the first section. I will have lost all

507
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 2: of the pens, all of the pencils. Everything would look dirty.

508
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 2: The edges of the binder would start to peel away.

509
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 2: I just couldn't keep it nice. It would become what

510
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,160
Speaker 2: my car has become in just two weeks. It's it's

511
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 2: It would be man that every year there was this

512
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 2: delusion that I would keep it fresh and that it

513
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,360
Speaker 2: would be some kind of different person than I've ever been.

514
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 5: How do we recapture that feeling, I mean, aside from

515
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 5: having a kid and then re literally reliving it, but

516
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,640
Speaker 5: that feeling of going to go to school next week

517
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 5: and you get all your stuff together and you're excited like,

518
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 5: how do you recapture that? Do you remember that feeling

519
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 5: when you're like, Oh, I have all my stuff that

520
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 5: I'm gonna put in my backpack and I'm going to

521
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,440
Speaker 5: take it. It's exciting.

522
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 2: I think starting new jobs.

523
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 5: It's all. It's all new jobs.

524
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 2: I think that. But no one's excited to start a

525
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 2: new job. I mean, I guess some people are.

526
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 5: My wife has a new job. Oh really, she just

527
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 5: got a new job today.

528
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:25,400
Speaker 1: I didn't know that.

529
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 5: Oh my god, day she got the job.

530
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 2: She signed, got the job, she's starting the job.

531
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 5: She signed the paperwork today.

532
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 2: Is she already gone from her other job?

533
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 5: No? No, she's still there. She's gonna quit today.

534
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 1: Oh god, that's so exciting. She's so happy. Hopefully no

535
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 1: one listens to the pod from her old job, right.

536
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 5: Well, she really appreciates her old job. There's a lot

537
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,880
Speaker 5: of coworkers. She loved there. However, she's excited to go

538
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 5: and it's time. She's going to work for our Lord,

539
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 5: our Lords and saviors, Amazon, the Mono, the Monocorp, the AP.

540
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 2: What's she going to be doing for them?

541
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:06,879
Speaker 5: She's the same thing at sales. She's executive senior account executive. Wow,

542
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 5: she makes bank. Without her, I would not be able

543
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,200
Speaker 5: to uh follow my dreams.

544
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 2: Yeah that's great, I think, Yeah, that's awesome. That's that's

545
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 2: that's been the conversation with Chris and I for a bit.

546
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 2: Now is that same thing of like, how how do

547
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 2: we work this? Like it's just it makes so much

548
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 2: sense when the man makes the money and the woman

549
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 2: just stays at home and like keeps the house and

550
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 2: takes care of the kids, and like there's no question

551
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 2: of like the woman spends the guy's money and no

552
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 2: one like worries about it, and there's no like there's

553
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,640
Speaker 2: no big comp I mean, there should be big conversations

554
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 2: about it. But it doesn't seem to be this thing

555
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 2: that I've like had to talk to my friends about

556
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 2: when they're going through it just like happens that you

557
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,640
Speaker 2: just share the wealth. But it starts to make sense whipside.

558
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,399
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's a conversation. What's the foint is the

559
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,160
Speaker 2: woman when earning all the money and the man might

560
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,120
Speaker 2: be the one that just like is uh supporting her?

561
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 2: Because it's interesting because I just want, Chris, I want

562
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 2: everyone in my life to just be happy and not

563
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 2: feel like so like lose sleep. Because they are worried

564
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,400
Speaker 2: about their money, like the people in my close family

565
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 2: and friends, and so I will gladly give them money

566
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 2: to make them feel that way.

567
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 1: If they're like, you know, they're looking for a job

568
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 1: or whatever.

569
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 2: It is like, I'm happy to help and I don't

570
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 2: expect to be paid back. And it's like, because that's

571
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 2: what my job affords me. Is that luxury of doing that,

572
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 2: but they don't want to ever. I also don't want

573
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 2: them to feel like they work for me and that

574
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,679
Speaker 2: they like have to like it's it's this weird thing

575
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,160
Speaker 2: of like Chris is like, well, what if I want

576
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 2: to buy a really nice car, like a car, a

577
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 2: dream car that I don't really need but I just want.

578
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, that's.

579
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 7: Tough because I don't really want to buy that for

580
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 7: like I get and then I go, oh, i'd get

581
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,679
Speaker 7: it for you as a gift that would be interesting

582
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,679
Speaker 7: to me, but you just like using my money to

583
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 7: go buy it and it not being like a thing

584
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 7: that you thank me for is not interesting to me.

585
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,640
Speaker 2: But then why do I need to thank you?

586
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 6: Right?

587
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 5: If you're sharing money sharing?

588
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:14,680
Speaker 2: So I have to look inside myself and go what

589
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: is there some kind of power I wield in this

590
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 2: and like, do I enjoy that power? And it's so

591
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 2: I was like, maybe I just give you a certain

592
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,120
Speaker 2: like a salary a year so because I don't want

593
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 2: you to have to take a bunch of jobs that

594
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 2: you don't want so that you can afford a lifestyle

595
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 2: that is that keeps up with mine, because then you're

596
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 2: not around to like help me process stuff because I

597
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 2: require a lot of like I like having a partner

598
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 2: and the stuff that I do. And he's obviously a

599
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 2: TV producer and is very well versed in comedy and

600
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 2: so he helps me so much.

601
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 3: Damage for you. Huh, that's an advantage for you to have.

602
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,159
Speaker 3: It's someone you know who you love working with you.

603
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 3: But it definitely will create an interesting dynamic. If he

604
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 3: doesn't have anything of his own, I think yeah.

605
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 2: But I also think that he he I don't think

606
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 2: that's true for him though, Like he doesn't have an

607
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 2: ego about.

608
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 1: Like I need to earn money. He really doesn't.

609
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 2: He just feels bad taking mine, like he doesn't care.

610
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 2: That's that's his thing. He's not like he doesn't need to.

611
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 2: It's it's it's interesting. But that that was a good

612
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 2: question that he asked because I was just like, I'll

613
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 2: just give you this much money a year on site allowance,

614
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 2: Like I'll just give you that money and that that

615
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 2: means that you can do whatever you want with You

616
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 2: can buy that car with.

617
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 5: It, and you can like you can have and you

618
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 5: can buy a car.

619
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, every week you take the trash out and do

620
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 2: your chores and rub my feet, you can get the

621
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 2: kind of like plamony. Yeah. And then he was like,

622
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 2: well what if I it's just it's just very it's

623
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 2: very complicated, but it doesn't have to be because but

624
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 2: then he was like, but what if I want to

625
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:57,359
Speaker 2: go on a trip and you like want me for

626
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 2: some like thing that you're doing. And I'm like, well,

627
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,120
Speaker 2: I think you don't want you want to be there

628
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 2: for my big things. There's never been one time in

629
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 2: our relationship where he's been like, but I got this

630
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 2: concert I want to go to. I can't go to

631
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 2: the show. That means a lot that you have me

632
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 2: there and I am not someone who needs Hi met everything.

633
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 2: Like when I need him, it's because it actually is important.

634
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 2: It's going to add to it. And no one likes

635
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 2: being needed more than Chris conby, so he's he enjoys

636
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 2: doing that, so and I want him to be able

637
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 2: to go on trips. And and I do have this

638
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 2: thing of when it is when it is when I've

639
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 2: given someone money, it's no longer my money, and I

640
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 2: don't care what you do with it, and I am

641
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 2: not I don't like even taxes. I'm just like, it's

642
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 2: never my it was never my money.

643
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: It always has to go.

644
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 2: I just look at money as it's when I see

645
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 2: a check, I just always take thirty percent and I go,

646
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 2: that's what mine is of that after I pay on everyone,

647
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 2: That's that's what I get.

648
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: I don't look at the first number.

649
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:55,160
Speaker 2: I just take the decimal over and then I times

650
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 2: it by three, and that's what I get of that.

651
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 1: So most like, No, it's with Chris helping you so much.

652
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 1: I mean you, you.

653
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 3: And Chris have known each other for over a decade.

654
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 3: Nobody knows you better than Chris. And I think having

655
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 3: him kind of like be sort of like a manager

656
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 3: of your life is gonna be so relieving for you. Yes,

657
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 3: and you're actually paying him a salary because he's going

658
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 3: to do a great job.

659
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 2: So his point is I would do this if I, like,

660
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 2: I love you, I would do this if you for nothing,

661
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 2: because that's what a partner does.

662
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: And that's where it gets triggy.

663
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 5: Yeah.

664
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

665
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 5: But also he wants that car.

666
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, he wants that car that F one race.

667
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 2: I also would love to buy him a crazy gift

668
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 2: like that. That would be fun. So it's and now

669
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 2: we're looking at houses, and it's just it's just, uh,

670
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 2: that's an interesting thing too, because he's like, I would

671
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 2: never be looking at houses that cost us much if

672
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 2: it weren't for you, And is this okay? And I'm like,

673
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 2: I think so. And I also know that he would

674
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 2: never want me to spend money I didn't have, and

675
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 2: he's smart about money, so I kind of trust him.

676
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 2: But looking at houses, can I just say, boo you?

677
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 2: I love my realtor more than anything. Her name is

678
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 2: Lauren Risley and she is was the host of a

679
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 2: show called It's All Like on HGTV. I think it

680
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 2: was called like it has a sassy name. It's like,

681
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 2: if you want it, you can get it. It's like,

682
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 2: don't rehab or re rethink.

683
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:34,239
Speaker 1: Oh, call the closer, Yeah, call the cloth closer. So

684
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: she knows how to like rehab houses.

685
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 2: She knows, she knows, she's amazing, and she's so funny,

686
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 2: Like she makes me laugh so hard we're at these showings.

687
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 2: But here's my thing about going to I actually really

688
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 2: enjoy the process of working with her and going to houses.

689
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 2: When when we when me, Lauren and Chris and and

690
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 2: maybe Chris's mom or my mom get to go into

691
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 2: a house and we just get to open it ourselves

692
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 2: and walk around in this empty house that maybe has

693
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 2: cameras running. But I don't really give a shit if

694
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 2: people like hear what I have to say about their

695
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 2: house later on. It's just like when there's someone there,

696
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 2: it's very annoying. Yeah, when there's a realer there, or

697
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 2: god forbid, the owner of the house.

698
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to I'm not pretending to like a house.

699
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 1: I don't like.

700
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 2: This is a three million dollar house. I don't have

701
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 2: to act like I like it. This is I can

702
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 2: walk into the foy yeer, oh yay, and go boy,

703
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 2: may I don't like this place and I can turn

704
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 2: on a dime and not feel bad at all.

705
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 1: That should be able.

706
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 2: I cannot believe that some people, not I and not

707
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,239
Speaker 2: and not even Chris. I mean Chris is pretty good

708
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 2: about it too, But like, I think there is this

709
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 2: air of like, at least pretend that you might like it, yeah,

710
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 2: or just be complimentary or go like, you know, it

711
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 2: was great, but like I just think that the bathroom

712
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 2: isn't big enough and we really wanted a tub, and

713
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 2: there's no place for the sauna in the yard.

714
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 1: Just is like, I don't want to have to tell

715
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: these people why I.

716
00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 2: Don't like it. I can just say I don't like

717
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 2: it and lee like, this isn't a meal that was

718
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 2: cooked for me for free, and I just I can't

719
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 2: stomach it, and so I have to make up some

720
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 2: fake excuse about allergies or I ate before. And so

721
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,479
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't have to like placate your feelings.

722
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 2: Your real estate agent who's just showing this house. You

723
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 2: are acting like you like it, by the way, you

724
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 2: don't even like this place, you have to act like

725
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 2: you like it. It's when you're dealing with something that

726
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 2: is this expensive. I don't want to have to be

727
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 2: nice and that will be nice. I'm a nice person.

728
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 2: I don't want to have to be fake and act like, oh,

729
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 2: it would be nice, you know what I do.

730
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 1: Like this room. What are we doing?

731
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 5: I don't like it.

732
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 2: I want to I don't like the neighborhood. I don't

733
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 2: like the driveway. I knew as soon as I saw

734
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 2: it I didn't want it. I don't want to have

735
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 2: to do this dance. I'm the one paying out the

736
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 2: ass for this. I don't want to have to be fake. Yeah,

737
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 2: and maybe that's me feel like.

738
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 1: A date or huh, maybe it's kind of like a date.

739
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 3: She's getting to know your like your preferences by forcing

740
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 3: you to walk through thirty thousand square feet of home.

741
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. That's what Chris point is like, let's

742
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 2: see the who place because we might get ideas of

743
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 2: what we do like. And so that is why I

744
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 2: do look through the whole place. But I don't want

745
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 2: to have a conversation with the realtor, not my realtor,

746
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 2: I guess her realtor, the realtor of the house that

747
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 2: is we're being showed. I don't want to have to

748
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 2: tell that person what I do like about It would

749
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 2: be great if it just had this. I don't want

750
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 2: to have to do that. Bye. I don't want to.

751
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 5: Take the door for a negotiation too. If you go well,

752
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 5: if it just had this then, because.

753
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 2: Then they go, well, I will say that as the

754
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 2: it looks like there's not a lot of space in

755
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 2: the basement for a workout room, but it's a lot

756
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 2: bigger than you think, Like they shirt, I just think

757
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 2: it's like a big purchase item. There's no you don't have.

758
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 2: You have the luxury at that point because you're about

759
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 2: to spend so much fucking money that you have the

760
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 2: luxury of not having to be fake pleasant. And by

761
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 2: the way, I am a pleasant person. I'm a very

762
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 2: nice person. I always want people to feel okay and good.

763
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 2: It's not like I'm like, this place is ugly. Bye,

764
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 2: I just don't. I just want to go. This is

765
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 2: what I want to say. I want to walk in

766
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 2: and go, oh, you know what this isn't I just

767
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:12,399
Speaker 2: know it's not it. I'm sorry, but thank you so much.

768
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that you had to take time every day.

769
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 2: I just I don't want to waste your time. I

770
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: just know it's not it, you know, And but uh,

771
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 2: and why isn't it it? Okay? It's ugly and there's

772
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 2: pictures of Jesus in every room, and it's giving me

773
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:25,439
Speaker 2: a weird vibe.

774
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 1: Well, we can take those out.

775
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,799
Speaker 2: There are It's just feels like he's meant to be here,

776
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 2: and I know that he won't come with the place.

777
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 2: But there's Jesus in literally every room, and I'm haunted

778
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 2: by it, and I don't like it, and I don't

779
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 2: and and so I just want to be able to

780
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,280
Speaker 2: And I guess some realtors would say to me, well, Nikki,

781
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 2: you should tell them what you don't like about the

782
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,359
Speaker 2: place and what you do like, because then that person

783
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 2: might have other listenings that they should could show you.

784
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:53,479
Speaker 2: Guess what, bitch, I'm on zillow. I know what's out well.

785
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 2: The realtors have an inside track on things. Okay, okay,

786
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,880
Speaker 2: fair enough, fair enough, I'll leave the inside track thing.

787
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 2: But we're all looking at the same sites.

788
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 1: We know what's out there.

789
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 3: Okay, but do you feel like you and Chris are

790
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 3: closer to it or are you still having like kind

791
00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 3: of apprehension about by.

792
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 2: No, we definitely want to be in a house, and

793
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 2: the only reason is because we're running out of space

794
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 2: and apartment and because our garage destroyed my car, and

795
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 2: because there's a puddle life to step over to and

796
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 2: I'm not getting the premo spot, and because there are

797
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,280
Speaker 2: a lot more homeless people around this area that seem

798
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 2: to be like they might have a knife on them

799
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 2: and they might be thinking about stabbing me. Like do

800
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 2: you ever walk by a homeless person and who's having

801
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 2: some psychiatric break and they're doing weird stretches, they have

802
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 2: one shoe on, and you go, it would take just

803
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 2: a breeze of wind to make them get out their

804
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 2: knife and stab me to death. Like it would just

805
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,399
Speaker 2: just anything could happen. I could move in a way

806
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 2: that reminds them of an X that hurt them, and

807
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 2: then they get they get yeah, and we.

808
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 5: Just have to like walk by and like pretend that

809
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,280
Speaker 5: that's fine. This guy, like I thought, like I literally

810
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 5: had a knife and he was stabbing a telephone pole,

811
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,839
Speaker 5: just stabbing the telephone pole, and we'd be like, well,

812
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 5: you know, he's doing his thing.

813
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 7: You know.

814
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 2: It's like, I'm so sorry for what they're going through,

815
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 2: but I just can't. I'm feeling a little bit scared

816
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 2: in my area lately. It's just it's just you.

817
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 5: Don't have the infrastructure to support these people, you know

818
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 5: what the the house and it's kind of funny to

819
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 5: talk about. I'm trying to buy a house to get

820
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 5: away from homeless people. But you know, it's it's interesting.

821
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 2: You're so right.

822
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 5: The irony, the irony, the doing performing for the realtor.

823
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 5: It kind of reminds me of when you walk into

824
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 5: a store that's owned, like a mom and pop store.

825
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 5: Oh god, and the person's behind the counter and like

826
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 5: you walk in, you're immediate like, oh no, I don't

827
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 5: want any of this shit this place. You still have

828
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:48,919
Speaker 5: to be like the music that's place playing.

829
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 1: I hate the smell.

830
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 2: I hate the cat that's like meowing and I don't

831
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 2: know where it is, but it's gonna come out. I'm

832
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 2: going to have to act like I like it, and

833
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,399
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to like pet it or ask its

834
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 2: name just to be pleasant.

835
00:36:59,120 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 1: I will not walk in.

836
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 3: Empty store just for this because I don't want to

837
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 3: have to deal with this, and.

838
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 2: I'll have to buy a card, at least some kind

839
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 2: of postcard or like a some just some a bookmark,

840
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 2: just to give them something to do.

841
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's just I feel that same way.

842
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 2: I guess I'm just not into and what a privileged

843
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 2: thing to be able to say I'm not into small

844
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:25,080
Speaker 2: talk and I don't really have any tolerance for it anymore.

845
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,920
Speaker 2: And is that is that our world becoming like a

846
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 2: shitty place? Am I a product of us all disappearing

847
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 2: into our phones and not having any kind of there's

848
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 2: just no social interactions.

849
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 5: That's what's happening. I mean, there's partially like you're just

850
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 5: like getting older and figuring out like what you really

851
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 5: want to spend your time doing. But when it comes

852
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,919
Speaker 5: to just like having a conversation I had. I had

853
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 5: a conversation with an Uber driver this past weekend that

854
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,879
Speaker 5: was like it reminded me of why having little small

855
00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 5: talk conversations can be rewarding. Yeah, okay, and generally I

856
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 5: don't have them because of purely I don't feel good.

857
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 5: But if I felt good all the time, I probably

858
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 5: would have way more small talk conversation to point, Okay,

859
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 5: I definitely think since COVID people have been shutting down

860
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:19,800
Speaker 5: that scientifically people are talking about how since COVID people

861
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 5: are not going out socially as much anymore, they're not

862
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 5: spending time with friends and family, They're not experiencing interactions,

863
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 5: which I think is so important. We cannot let society

864
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 5: descend into a world of isolation, which is where it's going.

865
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:36,760
Speaker 2: I just i'm if I don't want to make friends

866
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 2: and I don't have anything helpful to share that is

867
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 2: going to change that person's day or life. I'm very

868
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 2: pleasant to the people in my elevator when they talk

869
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 2: to me, and like I'm grateful to the people cleaning

870
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 2: up around the apartment building, and I'm always gracious to

871
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 2: the maintenance men and the janitors and whatever, and love

872
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,800
Speaker 2: small talk with them because I want them to feel

873
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:04,399
Speaker 2: appreciated and and I want to be a familiar face

874
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 2: for them so that they feel like, oh this is

875
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 2: I'm yeah. But I don't. I just don't want to

876
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,759
Speaker 2: be nice just to I don't want to. I don't

877
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 2: want to be nice, so I'm just like making I don't.

878
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 2: I'm not responsible for how people feel, and I don't.

879
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 2: I don't want to be responsible for making someone feel

880
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 2: good all the time. I like giving that little gift

881
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 2: when it's there to give. Like today, my friend Mike

882
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:35,760
Speaker 2: Kaplan m YQ. He changed anything in college, so funny,

883
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 2: so smart. He is one of the He probably texts

884
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:43,720
Speaker 2: me twenty times a year just to be like, hey, Nikki,

885
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 2: I love you, and I'm just writing my friends to

886
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 2: tell them I love them, and you're just one of them.

887
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:49,239
Speaker 2: And I love you because of this and this and this,

888
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 2: and he's specific and it's like so meaningful, and I

889
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 2: can ignore it probably forty percent of the time, and

890
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 2: he doesn't mind like I can. I'll get a big

891
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,799
Speaker 2: thing of text and then I forget to write back

892
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,360
Speaker 2: because I just I want to give way. He just

893
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 2: gave and I don't. And then but he never makes

894
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 2: me feel bad about it. He's just shooting it out there.

895
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: He's so nice.

896
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:08,280
Speaker 2: But he heard me on Fresh Air on NPR, Terry

897
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,399
Speaker 2: Gross interviewed me, and he wrote me this message being

898
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 2: like you were. He gave me like a detailed, you know,

899
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:18,359
Speaker 2: synopsis of his thoughts on it, and I was like, man,

900
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,720
Speaker 2: thank you so much. That is that is so nice.

901
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 2: This literally made my week. And he said to me,

902
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 2: he said to me, NICKI, the first I go, oh

903
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 2: my god, this made my week. And that's no exaggeration.

904
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 2: I had a hangover after that interview and felt kind

905
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 2: of bad about myself. Thanks for saying these nice things,

906
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 2: he said, NICKI. The first time Judy Gold saw me

907
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,399
Speaker 2: do stand up, she said, I was funny, and I said,

908
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:41,720
Speaker 2: thank you, that's nice of you to say, and she said,

909
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 2: what's nice, it's true and he goes and that has

910
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 2: become an anthem in our household for fun. So I

911
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: say to you, what's nice, it's true? And I said

912
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 2: it can be both. I said, I think a lot

913
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 2: of I think a lot of true things that I

914
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 2: don't say because I'm not feeling nice or generous. So

915
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,320
Speaker 2: it is nice to go the extra mile and go, okay,

916
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 2: I do like that girl's jacket. I'm just not gonna think, oh,

917
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:05,920
Speaker 2: that's really cute jacket. I'm gonna say it, and then

918
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 2: that's the nice part. And sometimes, like you said, Brian,

919
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,360
Speaker 2: I'm not in a good mood and I just don't

920
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,360
Speaker 2: feel like yeah, spread and joy.

921
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 5: Yeah. I mean sometimes I see someone's jacket and I

922
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,439
Speaker 5: think it looks like shit, and I go, nice jacket. Yeah.

923
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 1: Well, that's the other thing you can do. That's the

924
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: mean girl's thing.

925
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 2: That was such a great part of Mean Girls, where

926
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:27,800
Speaker 2: she was like, oh my god, I love your bracelet.

927
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,319
Speaker 2: Where did you get it? And the girl's like, oh

928
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,319
Speaker 2: my god, it was my mom's and she's like, oh

929
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 2: my god, it's so cute, and then the popular girl

930
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 2: like kind of christened this, you know, not popular girl

931
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 2: because she liked her thing, and that happened to me

932
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:42,800
Speaker 2: so many times in high school. And then that girl, Katie,

933
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 2: becomes friends with the popular girl. And then the popular

934
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 2: girl does the same thing to an ug girl that

935
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 2: has like an ugly backpack, and she's like, oh my god,

936
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 2: I love your bag. It's so cute.

937
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 1: Where did you get it? And she was like, oh

938
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:53,400
Speaker 1: my god, it was my mom's whatever.

939
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 2: And then the girl walks away like feeling so good

940
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 2: about herself, and then she turns to Katy and goes,

941
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 2: that's the ugliest fucking bag I've ever seen in my life.

942
00:41:59,320 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 5: Wow.

943
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,839
Speaker 2: And Katie's suddenly has this flashback of when she said

944
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 2: it to her, and she was like, oh my god.

945
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 2: This bitch just says she likes things when she actually

946
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 2: hates them.

947
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: And that is something.

948
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:09,720
Speaker 2: I think I used to do because I was trying

949
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 2: to fight what I actually felt. I wouldn't do it

950
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 2: to be a bitch. I feel so bad that I

951
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 2: hated this girl's shirt, and I would think that she

952
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 2: could maybe sense I hated it, so I would do

953
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 2: the opposite.

954
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 5: Right, So is that bad though. I mean, I know

955
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 5: that's in mean girls, but.

956
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,240
Speaker 1: It's a lie.

957
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 5: But if the person walks away from the interaction being

958
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 5: feeling good about themselves and they never find out that

959
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 5: you actually hated the bag and were making fun of them, ultimately,

960
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:38,800
Speaker 5: isn't that a net gain for the world.

961
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good point, I think.

962
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:41,359
Speaker 4: No.

963
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,399
Speaker 2: I think it's always best to be sincere, because then

964
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 2: that that girl.

965
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know, that's hard.

966
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 5: What if she was honest and just said, hey, by

967
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 5: the way, I hate your backpack. Oh it is your mother's.

968
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 1: Well she's well, that's unnecessary.

969
00:42:55,440 --> 00:43:00,880
Speaker 2: You don't need to say mean things so dumb, that's

970
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 2: that's mean. Yeah, but I don't That is a good

971
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 2: question though. If something is not true and you're just

972
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:10,799
Speaker 2: saying it to be nice, is it and the girl

973
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,840
Speaker 2: never finds out that you were lying, is it harmful?

974
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 2: I do I don't know, But I don't like to

975
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 2: do that because I think that I'm usually overcompensating for

976
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 2: feeling guilty that I don't like something, which is my parrogative.

977
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after this. So what are your

978
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 1: evenings like?

979
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 2: Noah, Like, what do you do like, what have you

980
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,760
Speaker 2: been doing for fun now that you are a mother

981
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,240
Speaker 2: of an infant and all infants?

982
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,839
Speaker 5: Also additional question of that, what time is your time

983
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:40,879
Speaker 5: off if there is.

984
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 2: Any Yeah, good question.

985
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 1: Okay, So we have we actually started going out with

986
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: her maybe.

987
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 3: At like week number four or five or or six.

988
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 3: And it takes a long time to like take her

989
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:55,800
Speaker 3: to a restaurant and stuff like that. It's it's hard,

990
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 3: but we're doing it so that we can go out

991
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 3: with her and she like is able to sit in

992
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 3: her stroller or we just know how to manage it. Yeah,

993
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 3: So that's that's what we've been doing. I'm trying to

994
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 3: think of, like.

995
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:11,840
Speaker 1: You am I doing it for fun? What do you

996
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 1: mean if I'm if I'm bored?

997
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,760
Speaker 2: Are no? Are you bored?

998
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: I do get bored during the day.

999
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 3: Like okay, so the days all have kind of blended

1000
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 3: into one, and I think that's the boredom where every

1001
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 3: day kind of looks the same. I like COVID, yeah

1002
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,280
Speaker 3: a little bit, because I'm pretty much in the house.

1003
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 3: Have you know, going anywhere with her is just like

1004
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 3: you know, we it just takes a lot because we

1005
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 3: have to take the bag and then when so basically

1006
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 3: infant is up to three months, So now she's a

1007
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 3: baby because she's three months, got it. So when she

1008
00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 3: was an infant, she would want to eat all the time,

1009
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 3: so we'd have to go. I'd have to be in

1010
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 3: the car feeding her. Then we have like maybe thirty minutes.

1011
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 2: You whipped your tit out in public? Yet, yes, a

1012
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 2: lot like does your nipple show to the outside world

1013
00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 2: or are you doing it under a blanket?

1014
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 3: So actually, Instagram targeted ads gave me a good one.

1015
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: I got this shawl. It's from We.

1016
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 3: Are Amma A m m A and it's a it's

1017
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:15,799
Speaker 3: really good because it's I don't get too hot in it,

1018
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 3: and Toby can kind of like see through it and

1019
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 3: it covers me perfectly, and I just kind of put

1020
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 3: her in there underneath, and it's very discreet and people

1021
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:26,439
Speaker 3: can't really tell what we're doing. Okay, it just looks

1022
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 3: like a sleeping baby, So.

1023
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 1: You're you're not whipping the whole tit out, but you

1024
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 1: probably would. Well. Uh, it got to a point where

1025
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 1: I was just like I don't give a fuck.

1026
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,360
Speaker 2: Like, like, does like do you care if like Abvi's

1027
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 2: dad sees your nipple? Like, does it get to that

1028
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,319
Speaker 2: point because I've seen like my sister's taking her nipple

1029
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:44,879
Speaker 2: out around my dad, and I'm like, I don't think

1030
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:45,839
Speaker 2: I would ever do that.

1031
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 1: I really don't think I would. I don't. I didn't

1032
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:49,320
Speaker 1: think I would either.

1033
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 3: But you just kind of are like, you know what,

1034
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,839
Speaker 3: what's what's it worth to you? You know, like are

1035
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 3: you going to get up and go somewhere else or

1036
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 3: do you just want to sit here? And most likely

1037
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 3: you'll just want to sit I would just.

1038
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 2: Say, dad, look that way. Yeah.

1039
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,359
Speaker 3: I mean my dad is hard of hearing. So if

1040
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 3: I'm just like, could you could you please go away? Like,

1041
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,480
Speaker 3: don't look at me. He doesn't hear it. He just

1042
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 3: kind of comes in closer.

1043
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 1: What did you say? Okay? But I just I just

1044
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 1: stopped caring about it.

1045
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 4: It did.

1046
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 3: It was a little bit uncomfortable at first, or I

1047
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 3: thought I would have a hard time with taking my

1048
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 3: tits out, but I've just gone to a point where

1049
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 3: I don't care. I think a lot of women like

1050
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 3: that just there's a point where they're just kind of

1051
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 3: like I don't care.

1052
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:33,840
Speaker 2: And speaking of boobs, like how's been the body recovery?

1053
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,360
Speaker 1: Like how's been? Like how's been. I don't know what

1054
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:37,839
Speaker 1: I'm I have mom brain.

1055
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 2: How my biggest fear in getting pregnant is that my

1056
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 2: stomach will get stretched out and it won't go back

1057
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:45,879
Speaker 2: to the way it is and I'll have to get

1058
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 2: some kind of surgery and I just can't.

1059
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 1: I just like am freaked out about that.

1060
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,360
Speaker 2: Even when I eat too much, I feel like my stomach,

1061
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 2: Like when I do like a joke picture I send

1062
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 2: the girls shot where I'm like, I'm five months pregnant.

1063
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 2: Like sometimes even that I'm like, oh no, I've like

1064
00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:02,960
Speaker 2: done some irreversible damage. It did it go back way

1065
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 2: more than you thought it would? Uh?

1066
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I guess the whole of physiological part

1067
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:14,880
Speaker 3: of pregnancy and birth was very surprising to me. I

1068
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 3: didn't I didn't realize things like that either. But it

1069
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 3: took my stomach about five weeks to kind of go

1070
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 3: back and because basically what's happening is like all your

1071
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 3: organs are starting to shrink and it's not what it

1072
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 3: was before pregnancy. I still have to do some exercise

1073
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 3: and stuff, which I'll get to, but it didn't like

1074
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 3: destroy my body like I thought it would. And a

1075
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 3: lot of that I think had to do with the

1076
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 3: fact that I was working out, you know, before I

1077
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:46,839
Speaker 3: got pregnant, and then during pregnancy, just keeping it up

1078
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 3: until like, like, what.

1079
00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:49,359
Speaker 2: Kind of workouts were you doing?

1080
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,919
Speaker 3: Well, I was doing jiu jitsu and I was weightlifting,

1081
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 3: and then I continue doing that into pregnancy.

1082
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I start your stomach or something.

1083
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 1: There's no punching in jiu jitsu, though, so why would

1084
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:06,719
Speaker 1: I be afraid or accidentally when they're like wrestling you

1085
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:07,320
Speaker 1: to the ground.

1086
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 3: Once I started showing, everyone was very very aware that

1087
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:15,400
Speaker 3: I was pregnant and didn't want to do any of that,

1088
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 3: So we just worked very gently and yeah, so I

1089
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:24,800
Speaker 3: just kind of did drills more than the actual rolling

1090
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:25,839
Speaker 3: as they say.

1091
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, any so what's the biggest surprise though,

1092
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 2: besides just that she eats all like that? It is

1093
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,439
Speaker 2: the love you feel more than the love you thought

1094
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 2: you would feel.

1095
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:40,799
Speaker 1: Is that kind of the thing?

1096
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 5: Perception of the world changed.

1097
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I would say.

1098
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 3: Yes, personally, I had a really and I'm still having

1099
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:54,319
Speaker 3: a very positive experience with it. I had I was

1100
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 3: very very worried that I'd have bad postpartum and that

1101
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 3: I would like bese like turn into my mother, who

1102
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 3: I do not have a good relationship with, but that

1103
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:10,880
Speaker 3: didn't happen, and I'm not even like fighting urges to

1104
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 3: do things that you know that she's done.

1105
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 1: So that's been.

1106
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 3: I guess that's been like a big surprise, like, Wow,

1107
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 3: I can have my own identity as a mother and

1108
00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:30,400
Speaker 3: I don't have to continue like the negative aspect of it. Yeah, exactly,

1109
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 3: So that feels really good and yeah, I don't know,

1110
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:39,879
Speaker 3: I just really like it. I think everything is kind

1111
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:42,399
Speaker 3: of a big surprise because I didn't really know much

1112
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 3: about it. I don't know anything about parenting or motherhood,

1113
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 3: but there are instincts that kick in and it's really cool.

1114
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:50,919
Speaker 1: I love that.

1115
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 2: How does it different than how does it differ from

1116
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:57,399
Speaker 2: having a dog? Because I know you loved your dog

1117
00:49:57,480 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 2: like the way that the most that people could ever

1118
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 2: love dogs.

1119
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:03,759
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, you're right, you know what I do.

1120
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 3: I think having a dog and taking care of Bruno

1121
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:13,359
Speaker 3: as my own dog really showed me that I can

1122
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:18,879
Speaker 3: nurture another being. And now I'm kind of being able

1123
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 3: to have patience and I'm translating that into like my

1124
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 3: parenting style. So I guess having a dog really did

1125
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 3: prepare me for parenthood, even though it's a little bit different.

1126
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 3: Like you can leave a dog at home, you can

1127
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,880
Speaker 3: leave the dog in the crate and create its little

1128
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:38,800
Speaker 3: like comfort zone, but you can't do that with a baby.

1129
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 3: So if you want to leave the house, you have

1130
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 3: to take the baby with you.

1131
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,840
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's some people that do leave the baby.

1132
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:47,800
Speaker 2: Like final thought, I remember when you were like sleep

1133
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:50,720
Speaker 2: training or something, and there was like a whole theory

1134
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 2: of people that say that just let the baby cry,

1135
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 2: and You're like I can't, Like what, Yeah, can you

1136
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 2: just let them cry? Like I don't know if i'd

1137
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 2: be able to do that either, but I think I

1138
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 2: would probably do it, Like eventually I would just give

1139
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 2: up because I just know my threshold for things. Oh,

1140
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 2: when I'm tired, I would just like do what I

1141
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 2: wouldn't think I would do.

1142
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:16,680
Speaker 3: So yes, there I did have a moment. And again,

1143
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:22,120
Speaker 3: like postpartum uh usually involves a lot of like hormonal

1144
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:24,879
Speaker 3: changes in the body that you just don't know when

1145
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 3: they happen or whatever. And there was one time where

1146
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 3: Toby was crying and like I had just changed her.

1147
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,359
Speaker 3: I'd just bet her. I burped her. And I'm just

1148
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 3: like I don't understand what you need. So I just

1149
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,880
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I have to leave you here in

1150
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,080
Speaker 3: this uh you know, like in your best net, and

1151
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:39,359
Speaker 3: I need to walk out of the room.

1152
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:40,360
Speaker 1: And I walked out. I had to.

1153
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 3: I think it was like seven minutes, and she was

1154
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 3: crying and I came back and it was just so

1155
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,360
Speaker 3: sad because she was just like I don't know if

1156
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 3: she was all red and just kind of like limp,

1157
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 3: you know, she had just kind of like given up.

1158
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 3: And I felt terrible, but I knew that I had

1159
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:57,719
Speaker 3: to walk away from that. And I think a lot

1160
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:01,279
Speaker 3: of new moms have that experience too, and it's just

1161
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,800
Speaker 3: the right thing to do. But when i'm sleep training

1162
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 3: to I don't you know, I think it's just like

1163
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 3: old school because my dad's like, oh, just let her cry,

1164
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 3: and I I'm like, no, that's I don't want to

1165
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 3: do that. She's an infant. She can't You can't spoil

1166
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:17,800
Speaker 3: an infant, is what it is.

1167
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,200
Speaker 2: You are like setting the stage for her attachment style

1168
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 2: right now, Like how she conducts herself in her romantic

1169
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:29,360
Speaker 2: relationships when she is in her twenties is one hundred

1170
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 2: percent connected to whatever is going on right now, which

1171
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 2: is so fucked up so right that it's so delicate,

1172
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,360
Speaker 2: but like, yeah, if she is just like pursuing a

1173
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:41,240
Speaker 2: guy who doesn't want her, or if she is running

1174
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 2: from a guy who does like her, it's all based

1175
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 2: on whether you let her cry or not.

1176
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,320
Speaker 1: A couple times in the basinette yes, so wild.

1177
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,919
Speaker 3: Aviy pointed that out because we took her to meet

1178
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 3: some family over the weekend and we just we you know,

1179
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 3: at first it was hard for me to let other

1180
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 3: people hold her and stuff, but now I'm like, okay,

1181
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,840
Speaker 3: take her away and we see how she interacts with

1182
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,719
Speaker 3: other people and she's fine. So Abvi was like, oh,

1183
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:08,320
Speaker 3: you know, that could set her up for secure attachment

1184
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 3: because she's okay if we're not there. We went on

1185
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 3: like a mini date and everything, you know, like while

1186
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:19,720
Speaker 3: his cousin watched her. So yes, we are very aware

1187
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 3: of that. It's so good to like, all this relationship

1188
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:26,880
Speaker 3: stuff that I've studied and books that I've read definitely

1189
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,640
Speaker 3: are helping me at least be conscious of that.

1190
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:31,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's good to do.

1191
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:36,600
Speaker 2: I mean, being secure A lot of I've learned through

1192
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 2: the attachments of like if you're insecure. You can be

1193
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:40,920
Speaker 2: with someone who's secure, and that can make you secure,

1194
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 2: but someone who's with a secure If you're anxious, attached,

1195
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 2: and with an avoidant, you'll never become secure. It's not

1196
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:49,120
Speaker 2: like that those will even out to a secure person.

1197
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 2: But secure you can pick up from someone else. And

1198
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:54,280
Speaker 2: I think it's starting to pick it up from Chris,

1199
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:57,439
Speaker 2: Like I think he's really secure attached, and I am

1200
00:53:57,560 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 2: starting to feel that way too.

1201
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:00,319
Speaker 5: Great.

1202
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's taken a while, but you just have to

1203
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 2: like let go and stop thinking about the future and

1204
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:09,880
Speaker 2: trying to like control it, and once you just stop.

1205
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,360
Speaker 2: I swear to God, my life was changed when I

1206
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,200
Speaker 2: saw that fucking reel of that girl in her car saying,

1207
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 2: like that person you're mad at, that person that you

1208
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 2: are annoyed by today, the person in front of you

1209
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 2: in traffic, that person your boss who's not returning your email,

1210
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 2: that person who's emailing you too much because you're not

1211
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:26,040
Speaker 2: returning their email.

1212
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:28,839
Speaker 1: Let them off the hook. Just try to let him

1213
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:29,279
Speaker 1: off the hook.

1214
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 2: I swear to God, I think about that multiple times

1215
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:35,280
Speaker 2: a day, where I just am letting people and myself

1216
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 2: and things off the hook constantly. I am reading a

1217
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,319
Speaker 2: book right now, if any besties want to read with me,

1218
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 2: it's like a dollar ninety nine on iBooks, So if

1219
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,439
Speaker 2: you want to digitally download it, now's the time. It's

1220
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:48,720
Speaker 2: called the Imposter Cure, and it's for people with imposter

1221
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:52,880
Speaker 2: syndrome because I am suffering immensely from mine. I have

1222
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:55,840
Speaker 2: like stage four imposter syndrome right now. It's like gut

1223
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:58,759
Speaker 2: literally could kill me, and I just don't know what

1224
00:54:58,840 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 2: to do about it anymore.

1225
00:54:59,760 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 5: Huh.

1226
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 3: What's like one of the things that stick out that

1227
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 3: you've learned from the book so far?

1228
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:10,160
Speaker 2: Well, the person who is by doctor Jesseme Hibbard. I

1229
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 2: don't know if it's a girl or guy, but they said,

1230
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:17,279
Speaker 2: if you're reading this, you aren't you are good at

1231
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 2: what you do. No one who has the imposter syndrome

1232
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 2: who would pick up a book about the amposter syndrome.

1233
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 2: There's just no way that you are fooling anyone like

1234
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 2: you are actually talented or you are actually good. But

1235
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 2: then there's one thing that I read that made me go,

1236
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:34,959
Speaker 2: I don't know this, and I'm in the very early

1237
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 2: part of the book. They just like made me sign

1238
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 2: a contract in the book that says you're going to

1239
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 2: finish it and do all the things in it, Like

1240
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:41,759
Speaker 2: you have to stick by it no matter how hard

1241
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,080
Speaker 2: it is or no matter how dumb it seems. And

1242
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:45,799
Speaker 2: I didn't sign it because it's on my fucking phone,

1243
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:49,359
Speaker 2: so I'm supposed to sign it, but so I don't

1244
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:51,239
Speaker 2: have to stick through to this thing. But one of

1245
00:55:51,239 --> 00:55:53,240
Speaker 2: the things they said was that if you're reading this book,

1246
00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 2: I know they're like, I know you think you're a

1247
00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:59,600
Speaker 2: fraud and that you're tricking everyone into thinking you're actually

1248
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:03,279
Speaker 2: good at your job, and you work so hard to

1249
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:07,040
Speaker 2: convince people that to keep up with people's expectations of you,

1250
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:08,839
Speaker 2: because you feel like if you give in at all,

1251
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:09,879
Speaker 2: they're going to find out.

1252
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:11,759
Speaker 1: And I don't relate to that.

1253
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:13,920
Speaker 2: In fact, I am at the part of the imposter syndrome,

1254
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 2: which I think is like a final stage of like

1255
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 2: literally when it's like it's stage five or whatever, it's

1256
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 2: like mistasticide. I don't know that word. You get what

1257
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:28,959
Speaker 2: I'm saying, where you you feel you are so exhausted

1258
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:31,560
Speaker 2: by it that you just want to give up, like

1259
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 2: I don't even care if people find out anymore. Like

1260
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 2: that's that's what made me pick up the book is like,

1261
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 2: I can't, I can't keep doing I can't. I don't

1262
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:41,439
Speaker 2: want to work hard anymore to keep this up because

1263
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:43,880
Speaker 2: I'd rather just the truth come out. Everyone know I'm

1264
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 2: a fraud, and then I can just pick a new career.

1265
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,959
Speaker 2: And so that's the part I'm asking.

1266
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:54,400
Speaker 5: This is a pattern in self sabotage. Yeah, you got

1267
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 5: tall Poppy, You're talking about this yesterday where it's like

1268
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 5: you you're you're a cheat. You're a cheat the uh,

1269
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 5: the recognition you deserve and your impulse is to destroy it.

1270
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:08,399
Speaker 1: But I don't think I deserve it.

1271
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 2: I think that there's been some sort of like you know,

1272
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:15,520
Speaker 2: things have aligned that make what I do right now

1273
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:18,320
Speaker 2: extremely popular based on my gender, based on my age,

1274
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,480
Speaker 2: based on the way I look, and that I am

1275
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:24,120
Speaker 2: fitting into something that the culture needs. But there is

1276
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 2: it's not truly because there's anything I could argue, like

1277
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 2: I want to I want to actually meet with this

1278
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 2: person and go I actually think I am an imposter.

1279
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 2: I'm the only person who's read this book that actually

1280
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 2: is because I am so like I literally I know

1281
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:41,600
Speaker 2: what I'm good at and I and I'm just like

1282
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:44,560
Speaker 2: finding myself failing in ways that I thought I that

1283
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:46,120
Speaker 2: I should be.

1284
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter.

1285
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 2: But I know that this is like do or die now,

1286
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 2: Like you know, this is when you like get helpful things,

1287
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 2: is when you realize, like you can't keep it up anymore.

1288
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:56,440
Speaker 1: And I'm just like exhausted.

1289
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 5: And so interesting the book. Yeah, the only thing that

1290
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 5: you think you're not an impostor at is being an impostor,

1291
00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 5: And so why don't you just accept that you're the

1292
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:09,439
Speaker 5: best impostor in the world and that's why you're here.

1293
00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 2: Oh that's interesting because here's the other thing. Being an

1294
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:17,240
Speaker 2: impostor is exhausting, and I can't do it anymore. I can't.

1295
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:20,520
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't keep.

1296
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 2: Like like I keep keep telling Chris about this, like door,

1297
00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 2: I shouldn't even be talking about this.

1298
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:28,560
Speaker 1: This is the other fear of an imposter syndrome is that.

1299
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 2: You can't publicly talk about it because then people will

1300
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 2: start to see it, and then they will believe it too,

1301
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 2: and then you'll be found out because you are you're

1302
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:41,440
Speaker 2: letting them in on the truth and like I'm revealing

1303
00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 2: my tricks or something. But I was telling Chris about

1304
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:46,080
Speaker 2: this room in my brain that has all of my

1305
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 2: self criticism that I know is true, and I have

1306
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 2: recently like locked that door and I don't get to

1307
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 2: look in it. Because to be good, you can't have

1308
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:57,280
Speaker 2: self doubt. You can't ever think negative things about yourself.

1309
00:58:57,320 --> 00:59:00,760
Speaker 2: Like what you think does come true. Manifest Station works

1310
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:02,640
Speaker 2: like if you think good things, if you say good things,

1311
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 2: those things come true. I'm gonna win an Emmy, like

1312
00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:08,600
Speaker 2: it's already happened. That is happening because I manifested it.

1313
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:10,840
Speaker 2: I don't think it's based on talent, to be honest

1314
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 2: with you, It's like I'm already I'm already robbing myself

1315
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 2: of the thing that I know I'm going to win

1316
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 2: because I manifested it.

1317
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 1: I didn't actually earn it.

1318
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 2: Like manifestation kind of blows in that way, is that

1319
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 2: you can't actually take credit for it because you just

1320
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:28,120
Speaker 2: did some Joe To spends a shit on it and

1321
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:31,520
Speaker 2: that's why you got it. So I told him about

1322
00:59:31,520 --> 00:59:33,480
Speaker 2: this room and my brain that is locked up, and

1323
00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 2: if I look in the room, I will it's.

1324
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:38,080
Speaker 1: I'm going to start crying, like I can't.

1325
00:59:38,120 --> 00:59:40,080
Speaker 2: I can look in that room occasionally and like grab

1326
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 2: something quickly out of it if.

1327
00:59:41,320 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 1: I need it. But I can't.

1328
00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 2: I can't go in there, and recently I've had to

1329
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 2: go in there because oh, this.

1330
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:50,480
Speaker 1: Is too much to get into.

1331
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 2: I'm gonna save it for tomorrow's podcast because it is

1332
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 2: seriously a mountain of hell in my brain recently, but

1333
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 2: I'm going to cure it with this book.

1334
00:59:57,320 --> 00:59:58,600
Speaker 1: I really have a lot of faith in this book.

1335
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 2: You guys know how I feel about books the changed

1336
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 2: my life, and this book is like there's just something

1337
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 2: about books that come into my life and fly into

1338
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 2: my field of vision when I really need them. And

1339
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 2: I am at like death's door with imposter syndrome right now,

1340
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 2: and really usually I can kind of claw my way

1341
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:16,720
Speaker 2: out of it and go, no, you can point to

1342
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:19,320
Speaker 2: this and this, I'm really out of tools to get

1343
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 2: out of it. And I was looking through my books

1344
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,280
Speaker 2: that I've downloaded in the past to find a new

1345
01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 2: actually fiction book I wanted to read, like I'm.

1346
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:31,160
Speaker 1: Just like, what have you? Let's look at what you've downloaded, and.

1347
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 2: This book was in there. I'm like, when did I

1348
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:34,919
Speaker 2: get this? And so it just kind of flew into

1349
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 2: my field of vision. I'm going to read it and

1350
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:38,480
Speaker 2: it's going to swoop in and save the day, and

1351
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,280
Speaker 2: then I'm going to be fucking great again, and I'm

1352
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 2: going to believe it about myself, and I'm going to

1353
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 2: be fooling no one, including myself, and we'll all know

1354
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:47,800
Speaker 2: the truth that I'm just truly great and talented and

1355
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:50,880
Speaker 2: a special person and truly better than others, and I

1356
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:52,800
Speaker 2: deserve all the money and fame and success that I

1357
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:55,040
Speaker 2: get because I am a superior person that was born.

1358
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 1: Like, see, this is the danger.

1359
01:00:57,040 --> 01:00:59,080
Speaker 2: When you start actually thinking you're good, you sound like

1360
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 2: a fucking asshole. I was meaning to sound like an

1361
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:03,439
Speaker 2: asshole just then, by the way, I don't believe those things.

1362
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:06,120
Speaker 2: But and then they even talk about in this book,

1363
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 2: like people who have imposter syndrome convince themselves that it's

1364
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:12,479
Speaker 2: keeping them from being assholes. It's like keeping them in check.

1365
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 2: And I do believe that's true, and I do believe

1366
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:15,520
Speaker 2: it's important.

1367
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 5: You don't want to seem like an asshole, that's for sure.

1368
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think more people need imposter syndrome.

1369
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 5: But you also, you know, you did a lot of

1370
01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:27,000
Speaker 5: hard work, and you need to be a Yes, this

1371
01:01:27,080 --> 01:01:27,959
Speaker 5: is all.

1372
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:32,400
Speaker 1: Hard work. In my plank class, I want to.

1373
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,920
Speaker 5: Fund Wasn't it hard when you were nineteen.

1374
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:39,080
Speaker 2: No, No, it was that literally was not because I

1375
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:42,200
Speaker 2: didn't have another option. It was I liked doing comedy.

1376
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 2: I was so grateful I found it. I loved the

1377
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 2: people I did it with. I liked driving in the

1378
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 2: middle of the night to these awful gigs. I liked

1379
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,360
Speaker 2: feeling scared and getting up and doing a gig. I

1380
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:52,960
Speaker 2: liked writing jokes. I liked I liked everything. I was

1381
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:53,840
Speaker 2: making fifty.

1382
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:54,960
Speaker 1: Dollars for a set, I liked it.

1383
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 5: You don't have to suffer in order to be happy.

1384
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 1: In order for it to be construed is hard work.

1385
01:02:00,560 --> 01:02:03,280
Speaker 5: You would say, yeah, like you can. You can be happy.

1386
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 5: That's really what it comes down to. It's like things

1387
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 5: could have been easy and you could be happy and

1388
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 5: it's fine. Think about like a rich person who lives

1389
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:14,280
Speaker 5: in uh New England, who was born into wealth, and

1390
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:17,360
Speaker 5: they're just like, uh, they get to like go to

1391
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,240
Speaker 5: the beach and go sailing and they never have to

1392
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:21,880
Speaker 5: worry about a single thing. Should they be going through

1393
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 5: their lives like being like, I guess I didn't earn

1394
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 5: any of this money and I'm a piece of shit worse,

1395
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:31,160
Speaker 5: but they're they're just like, I'm gonna you know what,

1396
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:34,960
Speaker 5: I'm gonna enjoy this. I'm gonna go uh sailing and

1397
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:37,640
Speaker 5: have a good time. It's a waste. It's a waste

1398
01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:40,439
Speaker 5: of all the gifts you've been given to to feel

1399
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:41,280
Speaker 5: shit a point.

1400
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:44,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I'm talking about.

1401
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:46,680
Speaker 5: It's like goodwill hunting, which I brought up yesterday too,

1402
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 5: and goodwill hunting. There's a pivotal scene where Matt Damon

1403
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:53,720
Speaker 5: is at the construction site with Ben Affleck and Matt

1404
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:55,880
Speaker 5: Damon goes, I don't think I'm going to take any

1405
01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:57,960
Speaker 5: of those jobs. I don't think I'm gonna do anything.

1406
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 5: I just view myself as being a guy who live

1407
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:03,160
Speaker 5: here in this in Southie with you. We're gonna raise

1408
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:06,200
Speaker 5: some kids and we're gonna play little And Ben Affleck

1409
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:09,680
Speaker 5: is like, if I if you lived with me twenty

1410
01:03:09,760 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 5: years ago, I swear to God, I'll fucking kill you.

1411
01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:15,480
Speaker 5: And it's like why. It's like He's like, I were

1412
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:17,240
Speaker 5: you gonna say I owe it to myself. He's like, no,

1413
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 5: you don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me.

1414
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 5: You owe it to me because you were given this gift.

1415
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:24,479
Speaker 5: You're sitting on a winning lottery ticket and you're saying

1416
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,760
Speaker 5: I'm not going to cash it in. Any One of

1417
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:29,840
Speaker 5: these other guys would die in order to get what

1418
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:32,480
Speaker 5: you have, and for you to not take advantage of

1419
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:34,360
Speaker 5: it is an insult to Ben Affleck.

1420
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:37,200
Speaker 2: That's a good reminder to have gratitude for the things

1421
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:39,600
Speaker 2: that you have instead of feeling guilty about it or

1422
01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:42,520
Speaker 2: disparaging it in some way.

1423
01:03:42,760 --> 01:03:46,280
Speaker 5: And Will Hunting did absolutely nothing to get his skills.

1424
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:49,680
Speaker 2: But I'm sorry, this is this is the thing I

1425
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:51,760
Speaker 2: always come up against, is like people are like, Nikki,

1426
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:54,640
Speaker 2: just be glad, like you have a talent and goodwill,

1427
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:57,120
Speaker 2: Like we'll be mad at you if you don't capitalize

1428
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,360
Speaker 2: on this. But then there are NEPO babies that are

1429
01:03:59,520 --> 01:04:01,720
Speaker 2: talented and they do it and people just trash them

1430
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 2: constantly because they seem to have had this golden ticket

1431
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:07,800
Speaker 2: And isn't my life a golden ticket too in many ways?

1432
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:09,480
Speaker 2: And why am why do I not get to trash

1433
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:12,120
Speaker 2: myself the way that we completely take down NEPO babies

1434
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:14,280
Speaker 2: all the time because of their privilege. Why is it

1435
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:16,440
Speaker 2: sometimes okay to do and then other times it's like

1436
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 2: you're bad to yourself? And I do want to say,

1437
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 2: like it is so annoying to listen to someone constantly

1438
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:24,919
Speaker 2: complain about how they don't like themselves. But I don't

1439
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:26,920
Speaker 2: want to be phony. I'm in the foyer of a

1440
01:04:26,960 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 2: house I don't like, and I don't like it, and

1441
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:30,480
Speaker 2: I'm telling you it. And that's why I'm reading a

1442
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:32,720
Speaker 2: book to really enjoy this this house and to make

1443
01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:34,960
Speaker 2: the most of it. Whips of Jesus and put up

1444
01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:36,000
Speaker 2: the ones that Taylor sweft.

1445
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:40,080
Speaker 5: No one's asking you to pretend like you're happy when

1446
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:44,000
Speaker 5: you're not. But you're we're discussing like the we like

1447
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:48,560
Speaker 5: the honesty and of how you're feeling. But you're you're

1448
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:50,280
Speaker 5: trying to get out of this problem and you're trying

1449
01:04:50,280 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 5: to figure out like the basis for being able to

1450
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,080
Speaker 5: feel less bad about being.

1451
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,680
Speaker 2: A yes and and I'm not being really open to

1452
01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:58,280
Speaker 2: that right now, and I need to be more. And

1453
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:00,280
Speaker 2: I think that's what this book does first, is it

1454
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:03,480
Speaker 2: like makes you open to the idea that maybe maybe

1455
01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:07,200
Speaker 2: you're not an impostor maybe you do have this thing

1456
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:11,160
Speaker 2: and maybe you're not fooling anyone. Just give it a chance,

1457
01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:13,600
Speaker 2: like could it possibly be that? And I really like

1458
01:05:13,680 --> 01:05:16,480
Speaker 2: that because that really helped me when I was recovering

1459
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:18,920
Speaker 2: from an eating disorder, because I remember there was this

1460
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:22,520
Speaker 2: one point where it was just like you, when you

1461
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:24,720
Speaker 2: have an eating disorder, you constantly think of people with

1462
01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:27,120
Speaker 2: eating disorders as like different than you, and you're different,

1463
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,280
Speaker 2: like you're like, I have to eat less to look

1464
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:31,480
Speaker 2: the way I want to look like these other women,

1465
01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:35,240
Speaker 2: like everyone else gets to can go back to eating

1466
01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:37,520
Speaker 2: normal and have a normal body. But I'm special and

1467
01:05:37,560 --> 01:05:40,600
Speaker 2: I'm different and I'm broken, and I have to eat less.

1468
01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:42,320
Speaker 1: I don't get to be normal.

1469
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:45,960
Speaker 2: And it's like this magical thinking that is honestly you

1470
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:48,680
Speaker 2: thinking you're better than other people or somehow different in

1471
01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:52,040
Speaker 2: a way, when really you're not. And I'm not different,

1472
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:55,120
Speaker 2: and I have the same thing that it says seventy

1473
01:05:55,320 --> 01:05:57,720
Speaker 2: percent of humans at some point in their lives deal

1474
01:05:57,760 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 2: with imposter syndrome.

1475
01:05:58,840 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 1: I would like to.

1476
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:02,720
Speaker 2: Meet this thirty percent who just are like themselves all

1477
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:05,720
Speaker 2: the time. Their mom's probably never left them in a

1478
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:06,240
Speaker 2: room crying.

1479
01:06:06,240 --> 01:06:07,480
Speaker 1: No, that's what I'm determining.

1480
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 5: That homeless guy stabbing the pipe with his knife doesn't

1481
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:13,400
Speaker 5: have imposters, so who knows exactly who he is?

1482
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:16,400
Speaker 1: No, I think that's the final stage of it. I

1483
01:06:16,400 --> 01:06:17,600
Speaker 1: can think I'm real close to that.

1484
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:20,400
Speaker 2: All right. Thank you guys for listening to the podcast today. Noah,

1485
01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:22,479
Speaker 2: welcome back to the show. We will have another show

1486
01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:26,560
Speaker 2: with Noah tomorrow. Thank you, besties for listening shows this weekend.

1487
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:28,920
Speaker 2: I've got one sold out show on Friday, so you

1488
01:06:28,920 --> 01:06:30,800
Speaker 2: don't even need to know about that. That's an Oregon,

1489
01:06:30,840 --> 01:06:32,720
Speaker 2: which I'm saying differently now because I'm going there.

1490
01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:33,680
Speaker 1: I usually say Oregon.

1491
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:38,440
Speaker 2: And then Saturday night I am in San Matteo, I think,

1492
01:06:38,520 --> 01:06:41,160
Speaker 2: and then on Sunday night, lots of daficates available and

1493
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,120
Speaker 2: I want you there because it's a Sunday show and

1494
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:44,800
Speaker 2: it's going to be a huge room, and it's an

1495
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:47,000
Speaker 2: important show for me. And that is going to be

1496
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:51,520
Speaker 2: in Paso Robules, California, which is wine country. So if

1497
01:06:51,520 --> 01:06:53,760
Speaker 2: you live in Wine Country, please please please come to

1498
01:06:53,800 --> 01:06:56,520
Speaker 2: that show. I'll tell you why in the future why

1499
01:06:56,560 --> 01:06:58,840
Speaker 2: that show in particular means a lot to me, but.

1500
01:06:58,880 --> 01:06:59,919
Speaker 1: It really does.

1501
01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:01,680
Speaker 2: And I need you there and I need you laughing

1502
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:03,000
Speaker 2: hard and I would love to see you there.

1503
01:07:03,040 --> 01:07:04,160
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, besties.

1504
01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 2: I love you.

1505
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:07,160
Speaker 1: I'm not an impostor. I'm really talented.

1506
01:07:06,800 --> 01:07:09,680
Speaker 2: And I'm grateful for you listening, and you have great

1507
01:07:09,720 --> 01:07:14,240
Speaker 2: taste and talent. All right, everyone, have a good Wednesday,

1508
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:15,080
Speaker 2: and I'll see you tomorrow.

1509
01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:15,960
Speaker 1: They'll be good bye.