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Speaker 1: Hey, this is jonnas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but.

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Speaker 2: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 2: the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 3: My bosses are being intimate during my nanny hours and

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Speaker 3: I want to confront them.

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Speaker 4: You're muffs for all the kids.

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Speaker 5: Hi.

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Speaker 3: Everyone, I'm a full time nanny for a stay at

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Speaker 3: home mom with an eight month old baby. The baby

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Speaker 3: is honestly perfect, so sweet and happy. NAP's great. By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Sunflower ninety two eighty two

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Speaker 3: eight and if you want to smit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate it.

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Speaker 6: I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here to

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Speaker 6: give good advice.

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Speaker 4: You felip, but we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 3: We only know what we'd do, So let's know what

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Speaker 3: you'd do in the comment and op sets. I've been

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Speaker 3: with the family for about seven months now. The mom

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Speaker 3: and dad are both amazing employers. They're super nice to me.

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Speaker 3: The mom gets me Starbucks and us a E bowls,

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Speaker 3: even makes me lunch sometimes. Oooh that's great. I make

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Speaker 3: thirty two dollars an hour with great benefits and n

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Speaker 3: mCOL area. So overall, this is a dream job. Here's

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Speaker 3: my only issue. I'm pretty sure the parents are having

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Speaker 3: spicy sleep during the dad's lunch break. Maybe every day

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Speaker 3: or every other day. They go to their room and

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Speaker 3: I never see anything inappropriate, but sometimes I hear what

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Speaker 3: I think might be the bed moving. It's not loud

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Speaker 3: or anything, just enough to make me realize what's going on. Afterward.

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Speaker 3: Her hair is messy, clothes changed, that kind of thing.

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Speaker 3: Today I asked the mom what she was up to

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Speaker 3: when she came out of the room, and she didn't

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Speaker 3: really say much. I kind of jokingly said, oh, are

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Speaker 3: you napping? And she got a little red and awkward.

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Speaker 3: That pretty much confirmed it for me. I know they're married,

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Speaker 3: adults and it's their house, but it still makes me

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Speaker 3: feel a little uncomfortable since I'm there taking care of

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Speaker 3: their baby. They're not being disrespectful or obvious, but it

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Speaker 3: just feels weird. Would it totally be out of line

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Speaker 3: to ask them not to do that while I'm working?

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Speaker 3: Or am I overreacting? And should I let it go?

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Speaker 3: They really are such a great family, and I don't

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Speaker 3: want to make things awkward. If this is just me

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Speaker 3: being overly sensitive. There are some comments, but I am

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Speaker 3: on the same page of like, yeah, it's awkward. Maybe

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Speaker 3: she could brush her hair, but tattoo Mannie says, how

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Speaker 3: old is opi Opia is definitely over eighteen at the

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Speaker 3: very least. I'm I'm assuming she's probably somewhere in her twenties. Uh.

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Speaker 3: If she's a full time nanny.

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Speaker 1: Put a request Yeah, yeah, Amanda says. Noise canceling headphones,

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Speaker 1: put a request for like Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: My only thing is is she might not be able

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Speaker 4: to wear noise canceling headphones unless she's actively staring at

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Speaker 4: the baby the whole time, because she would need to

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Speaker 4: hear the baby cry.

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Speaker 3: Snoop Tanderine says, you are overreacting. I don't think you

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Speaker 3: should make comments to them about what they're doing behind

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Speaker 3: closed doors. I personally feel you should not ask them

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Speaker 3: not to do that. You're overstepping and making it an issue.

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Speaker 3: You said they aren't loud nor making it obvious adults

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Speaker 3: doing adult things, Opie says, but I'm working. You don't

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Speaker 3: think it's disrespectful to f while someone's taking care of

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Speaker 3: your kids under your roof. It makes me uncomfortable. They

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Speaker 3: both go into the bedroom and come out messy hair

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Speaker 3: and smiley and makes me feel weird. Okay, girl, this

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Speaker 3: is a job for an issue.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you need a new job.

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Speaker 3: I agree, I honestly agree. Like, these are new parents again,

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Speaker 3: Yeah they could. They could brush their hair and be

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Speaker 3: a little bit more discreet their new parents. They probably

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Speaker 3: haven't had a lot of time to do this because

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Speaker 3: they've been taking care of a baby.

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Speaker 4: It could calm down, I do.

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Speaker 3: I'm just like, truly, I'm like, do you have like

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Speaker 3: roommates have you been like, have you ever been in

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Speaker 3: this situation before? And maybe she hasn't. Maybe she's never

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Speaker 3: been in a situation where she's had roommates who are

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Speaker 3: like having spicy sleep and been like, Okay, this is awkward.

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Speaker 4: That's been I think she truly is just lacking that

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Speaker 4: bit of life. Yeah, of life experience.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think that if you are uncomfortable, I

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Speaker 3: don't think you can ask them to change their ways

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Speaker 3: in their home, in their own home, I think I

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Speaker 3: think you could leave. You have every right to if

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Speaker 3: you are uncomfortable, or just quit. New philosopher to five

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Speaker 3: five eighth says, I mean good for them. Many parents

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Speaker 3: end up hating each other during the baby years. These

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Speaker 3: guys are lucky they could afford an air and maintain

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Speaker 3: a healthy, spicy sleep life. They treat you well. You

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Speaker 3: can't actually hear anything, so I would not make things awkward.

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Speaker 3: Opie says, it's very awkward. They both come down smiley

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Speaker 3: and happy and in a good mood. Great like guys.

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Speaker 3: I know what you just did.

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Speaker 5: You judged that s wicy sleep.

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Speaker 3: Lucy from Kazoo says, then quit. Opie says, this is

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Speaker 3: a super good paying job. The parents are beyond nice.

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Speaker 3: This is the only flaw. I still think maybe I

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Speaker 3: should mention it and maybe they'll stop effing during my workday.

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Speaker 3: No Appropriate Usual seventy seven eleven says, why are you

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Speaker 3: this concerned about your NP's lives and their comings and

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Speaker 3: goings in their own house? Read a book, rearrange the

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Speaker 3: diaper holder, literally anything other than making your NP's embarrassed

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Speaker 3: in their own house. Opie says it's weird because she's

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Speaker 3: like so giddy after having had spicy sleep mood shifter happy.

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Speaker 3: It's odd like it puts it even more in my face.

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Speaker 3: Oh I got laid god, Oh oh peace so jealous?

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Speaker 3: Go on a dating app if you want to clearly

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Speaker 3: you too, go find someone because this is affecting your

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Speaker 3: job performance now since oh, he added in a similar comment,

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Speaker 3: I think it's weird for adults to be having spicy

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Speaker 3: sleep every day or every other day. Ope, there's other

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Speaker 3: ways to support a relationship. I think I'm I'm making

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Speaker 3: a lot of assumptions. I think this is a somewhere

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Speaker 3: on the a spectrum person who is twenty eight, maybe

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Speaker 3: raised religious and cannot fathom the idea of people being

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Speaker 3: very in love.

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Speaker 2: They come down habit shut there and they have spicy

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Speaker 2: sleep every day.

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Speaker 3: How could I nolish?

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Speaker 4: I agree with you two that maybe they're just laying

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Speaker 4: down and they heard the bed squeak.

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Speaker 3: One yeah, she was like, they're my snow Danderine says,

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Speaker 3: concentrate on your job, which is the baby, not what

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Speaker 3: the parents are doing. Opie says, the baby's napping at

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Speaker 3: this time. She's like, I don't even have anything to do.

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Speaker 3: Fiery Virgo says, I personally would feel like they shouldn't

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Speaker 3: be having spicy sleep while I'm at work. But I

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Speaker 3: also wouldn't say anything. It's their home. I think that's

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Speaker 3: a fair statement. I'd feel weird about it too, But

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Speaker 3: because it's their home, your hands are tied, Opie says.

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Speaker 3: I guess I shouldn't have said anything. I'm shocked how

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Speaker 3: many people would be fine with them affing while you're

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Speaker 3: at the house. How old is Opie? I'm twenty eight

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Speaker 3: years old and have been a nanny for a decade.

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Speaker 3: There is an update.

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Speaker 4: Do you have any other fuhies?

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Speaker 3: Twenty confirmed? Twenty eight has been working as a nanny

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Speaker 3: for ten years. So she's been working as a nanny

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Speaker 3: since she was eighteen years old and has somehow never

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Speaker 3: come across then okay, wow, okay, there's an update. That

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Speaker 3: Friday morning, I told my MV I wanted to talk

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Speaker 3: during the baby's nap. She said, okay. I brought up

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Speaker 3: how uncomfortable I felt about what I thought was going on,

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Speaker 3: and mentioned how I could sometimes hear noticed things that

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Speaker 3: made me think they were having spicy sleep while I

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Speaker 3: was there. I told her it made me uncomfortable, and

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Speaker 3: that's when everything went downhill. She was very direct with me.

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Speaker 3: She said, my only job was to take care of

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Speaker 3: the baby, not to worry about what she and her

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Speaker 3: husband were doing. She told me, if I had downtime,

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Speaker 3: I could watch TV or read a book. I told

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Speaker 3: her it just seemed weird that she'd come out with

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Speaker 3: messy hair or different clothes, and she explained that sometimes

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Speaker 3: they do workout videos in their room. Sometimes it is

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Speaker 3: spicy sleep, sometimes it's cuddling, and sometimes it's her just napping.

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Speaker 3: She said, whatever happens in her bedroom is none of

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Speaker 3: my business. After that, things got really quiet. She wasn't mean,

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Speaker 3: but I could tell she was uncomfortable and hurt. Then

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Speaker 3: she told me I could go home for the day,

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Speaker 3: and I just knew that meant I was done. Later

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Speaker 3: she texted saying they were going to move in another direction,

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Speaker 3: and that was it. I feel horrible. I know I

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Speaker 3: crossed a boundary and I regret bringing it up so much.

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Speaker 3: I missed them terribly. The money was amazing, my envy

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Speaker 3: was so kind, and their baby was absolutely perfect. I

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Speaker 3: really wish I could fix this and somehow get my

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Speaker 3: job back. How do I get my job back?

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Speaker 4: It's almost tough. Whole internet warned you that this would

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Speaker 4: have happen.

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Speaker 3: Literally tough, though that man of my own action getting

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Speaker 3: your job back. That's insane.

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Speaker 4: And honestly, the mom handled.

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Speaker 3: That so well, so well, literally saw that coming from a.

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Speaker 4: Mile away, and I bet the mom was like aware

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Speaker 4: of what the conversation was going to be just based

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Speaker 4: off the hair comments.

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Speaker 3: So she probably had that oh yeah, oh yeah, like tough, dude,

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Speaker 3: you gave up of like amazing job because you were

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Speaker 3: a little uncomfortable about the implication. Sane again, you're twenty eight,

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Speaker 3: she's specified. I think that you're having spicy sleep.

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Speaker 4: She's great, and the mom immediatelylarified. Yeah. Sometimes it is

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Speaker 4: a lot of times.

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Speaker 3: I'm reading a book, I'm now sizing people change clothes.

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Speaker 4: It's insane.

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Speaker 3: People change clothes. Get over Oh my god. Op yeah,

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Speaker 3: you literally deserve.

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Speaker 4: That, deserve that you deserve this so hard.

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Speaker 3: Wow. No Assignment says, You're allowed to feel disappointed that

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Speaker 3: you messed up, but you need to understand that this

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Speaker 3: was your fault and it's your job to take the consequences.

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Speaker 3: Opie says, I regret it now. I'm hoping they can

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Speaker 3: forgive me, But everything else pays like twenty two to

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Speaker 3: twenty three dollars. They were giving me thirty two dollars

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Speaker 3: in so nice. I'm realizing I messed up. No Assignment

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Speaker 3: nineteen ninety says you need to let the idea of

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Speaker 3: forgiveness go. You are only hurting yourself by hanging on

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Speaker 3: the job. Is a loss, end of story. You'll find

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Speaker 3: something new next time. If you love a job so much,

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Speaker 3: don't jeopardize it. Opie says, you don't think it's worth

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Speaker 3: a try. They are Christian and believe in God. Christians

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Speaker 3: believe in forgiveness. Shut up some advice ope was given.

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Speaker 3: I'm getting messages saying I should file a police report

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Speaker 3: for spicy related intimidation in the workplace. That Avery Smile says, dude,

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Speaker 3: do not do that. I saw that comment and that

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Speaker 3: person is insane. You do not have a case. Also,

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Speaker 3: what do you want?

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Speaker 2: Hear?

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Speaker 3: Either want your jaw back or you want them in trouble.

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Speaker 3: You think that they'll give you your jaw back if you

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Speaker 3: call the police on them. Oh, he keeps digging this

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Speaker 3: freaking grave deep.

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Speaker 4: Give this up, girl, you're at six feet, you're at

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Speaker 4: six feet stopping it on top at this point.

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Speaker 3: Jesus, Oh my god, you want to call the police

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Speaker 3: on them?

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Speaker 4: You mine like my parents many times I think, shut up.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, we're.

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Speaker 4: Miserable for no reason. You're such a thirty two dollars

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Speaker 4: an hour, literally like just such a downer of persons.

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Speaker 3: I would not want to be your friend.

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Speaker 4: Go get laid please.

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Speaker 3: Update two. I sent a text message to my MB

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Speaker 3: on Sunday morning, and she responded this morning saying she

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Speaker 3: forgives me and that she hopes I take this as

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Speaker 3: a learning experience, but they will not hire me back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I miss her so much, she said. She talked to

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Speaker 3: her husband about everything, and they decided to give me

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Speaker 3: a month's pay until I find a new job. Wow,

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Speaker 3: they're so nice.

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Speaker 4: That is the nicest thing.

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Speaker 3: Sucks to freaking suck girl. I honestly didn't even expect that.

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Speaker 3: It was really kind of them, even after everything that happened.

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Speaker 3: I miss my Unicorn family so much. I was completely

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Speaker 3: in the wrong, and I take full responsibility for that.

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Speaker 3: I know I hurt people who trusted me, and that's

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Speaker 3: something I have to live with and learn from. I

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Speaker 3: will not be filing any spicy related intimidation report. The

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Speaker 3: people who were telling me to do that were not

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Speaker 3: giving me good advice, and I will be keeping my

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Speaker 3: distance from them from now on.

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Speaker 4: From God the comments. Yeah, you're not listening to them anyway.

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Speaker 1: Ah.

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Speaker 3: I miss my nanny baby so much. I can't believe

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Speaker 3: I won't be going back. It breaks my heart because

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Speaker 3: they were such a big part of my life. I

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Speaker 3: keep replaying everything in my head and wondering if there's

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Speaker 3: anything I could say or do to make things right.

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Speaker 3: I know, trust once broken is hard to fix, but

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Speaker 3: I wish I could show them how much I've grown

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Speaker 3: and how truly sorry I am. I'm trying to find

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Speaker 3: a new job now, and honestly, everyone's been so rude.

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Speaker 3: It's been really hard. I can't believe my old employers

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Speaker 3: still paid me five thousand, two hundred dollars after letting

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Speaker 3: me go. That's a month's bay.

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Speaker 6: Wow.

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Speaker 3: That was so generous of them. I really didn't deserve

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Speaker 3: it after everything happened. You're right, to be honest. Maybe

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Speaker 3: part of the problem was that I was a little

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Speaker 3: jealous of her. Oh wow, so there was so Oh

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Speaker 3: you think she's a stay at home mom, beautiful, only

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Speaker 3: twenty eight? Oh my god, they're the same age.

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Speaker 4: You're jealous, She's like, so did she like the us?

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Speaker 3: Probably? I bet she did. I freaking bet she did same.

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Speaker 3: Oh this this makes so much sense. I mean, did

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Speaker 3: we totally call it? Yeah? Does it make even more

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Speaker 3: sense now that we know that they're twenty age No? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you are so jealous. She has this gorgeous home. Oh,

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Speaker 3: she's rich and her and her husband are truly happy.

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Speaker 3: She's such a good mom, and it just felt like

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Speaker 3: she had this perfect life, her dream life. And I'm

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Speaker 3: the same age, and I think that made me feel

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Speaker 3: small in ways I didn't even realize at the time.

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Speaker 3: I hate admitting that, but it's true. At least you

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Speaker 3: had that realization.

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Speaker 4: But I've heard so many just horror stories from nannying

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Speaker 4: and it's like, you had such a sweet gig.

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Speaker 3: Dude, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 4: The only thing was that occasionally you heard a bed

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Speaker 4: squeak and thought that that one thousand percent meant that

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Speaker 4: every day I lunch, they were getting it. Maybe they're

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Speaker 4: just happily married, dude, which it turns out I like

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Speaker 4: each other.

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Speaker 5: Dude.

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Speaker 4: I would still never bring that up.

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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. Yeah, live and learn, I guess anyway,

290
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Speaker 3: there's a little bit left now. I just feel so lost.

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Speaker 3: I miss them so much. I keep wishing I could

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Speaker 3: go back and do things differently. I know I can't,

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Speaker 3: but I still hope one day I can find a

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Speaker 3: family even half as good as them. I don't know

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Speaker 3: if I should try reaching out again down the road

296
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Speaker 3: or just accept that it's over and move on. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: part of me wants to hold on tope, but part

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Speaker 3: of me knows I need to respect their decision. Any

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Speaker 3: advice on what I can do to maybe get them back,

300
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Speaker 3: or should I just leave it and start fresh. I'm

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Speaker 3: really debating and feeling lost about what the right thing

302
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Speaker 3: to do is learn from my mistakes, Guys, don't leave

303
00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,560
Speaker 3: a good family, let everything go. Don't let jealousy or

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Speaker 3: pride get in the way of something real. Some things

305
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,720
Speaker 3: just aren't worth losing. The people who truly care about

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Speaker 3: you appreciate what Yeah, before it's gone. Comment one says,

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Speaker 3: learn from my mistakes, guys. Ninety nine percent of the

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00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,840
Speaker 3: comments were telling her to leave it alone. Who was

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00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,440
Speaker 3: this aimed at? Reply says as a babysitter, you should

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00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,920
Speaker 3: leave your bosses alone when they're affing, they're literally creating

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00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,240
Speaker 3: your future income stream. Another reply says, right the whole story,

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Speaker 3: I was like, does she not know how babies are made.

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Speaker 3: Comment two says, I'm not learning from her mistakes because

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't be making this kind of mistake in the

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00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,760
Speaker 3: first place. Thirty two dollars an hour. I'm automatically oblivious

316
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,160
Speaker 3: and deaf during those hours, but that is the end.

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Speaker 4: My work refused to let me take a leave. Just

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Speaker 4: days before my brother's wedding, I quit. My brother is

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Speaker 4: getting married next week. He got engaged in February and

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Speaker 4: told me maybe a month ago that he is getting

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Speaker 4: married on May nineteenth. He and my sister in law

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Speaker 4: aren't into traditional big weddings. My brother lives in our

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Speaker 4: hometown in the Midwest and I live in the Southwest.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from a miss Margaret thirteen

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Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

326
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,720
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Sophia,

327
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,680
Speaker 4: I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

328
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,160
Speaker 4: but we don't have all the answers really know what

329
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,880
Speaker 4: we would do, so let us know what you would

330
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,920
Speaker 4: do in the comments. And Opie says, I told my

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00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:31,000
Speaker 4: work almost immediately about my brother's wedding, and I wrote

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Speaker 4: it down on a piece of paper. I also was

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Speaker 4: instructed to tell the lead float tech it's a pharmacy,

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Speaker 4: so she could try and find a floater to cover

335
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Speaker 4: me while I'm gone. I sent a reminder last Friday

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Speaker 4: to this lead float tech about the days I would

337
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Speaker 4: be gone, and I didn't get a reply until yesterday

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Speaker 4: that she couldn't find anyone, almost with the impression that

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Speaker 4: I wasn't allowed to go to my brother's wedding. I

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00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 4: texted my boss immediately about this. I get that they're

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Speaker 4: going to be shorthanded. I'll mention here that the lead

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00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,440
Speaker 4: flow tech is an astronomical witch, to the point where

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Speaker 4: literally everyone who works with her hates her guts, except

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00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,360
Speaker 4: for the district manager, who she's besties with. But I've

345
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,880
Speaker 4: also gotten the impression from the rest of the staff

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Speaker 4: that I'm being selfish that I want to go home

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Speaker 4: for a few days to see my brother get.

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Speaker 3: Married genuinely doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. Yeah, and

349
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,040
Speaker 3: you put in the calendar, it was approved. That's it.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,440
Speaker 4: Look, in twenty years, I won't give a crap about

352
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:34,360
Speaker 4: this job. I'm in grad school to gain a teaching credential,

353
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,720
Speaker 4: not my final destination in my career, but I will

354
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,120
Speaker 4: give a crap about having missed my brother's wedding. I

355
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,520
Speaker 4: don't intend on missing it, and I think it's rather

356
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,760
Speaker 4: ridiculous to ask someone to miss a close family member's

357
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Speaker 4: wedding because you're shorthanded on technicians, especially when I gave

358
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:55,400
Speaker 4: plenty of notice in regards to non paid time off.

359
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,040
Speaker 4: It's not even paid time off, am I? The A

360
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:03,080
Speaker 4: hole update today was awful and humiliating. Oh no, my

361
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 4: boss basically told me she tried to accommodate me, but

362
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:11,600
Speaker 4: that the day she couldn't would be considered unexcused absences.

363
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:12,399
Speaker 3: Absolutely not.

364
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:16,960
Speaker 4: Also, I'm to apologize to a pharmacist because I made

365
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,879
Speaker 4: an offhanded negative comment about Trump. I guess I nearly

366
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,960
Speaker 4: started crying and almost left. I got through the shift judgment,

367
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,720
Speaker 4: not the a whole top Relevant comments Brimstone four a

368
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,960
Speaker 4: four A downvoted comment, Oh no, info, was the work

369
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 4: schedule already published when you asked for the day off?

370
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:39,560
Speaker 4: My pharmacist friends are usually scheduled two plus months in advance.

371
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,720
Speaker 4: If so, then yes, you're an a hole for missing work.

372
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,080
Speaker 4: But if you have a good record, they should forget

373
00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 4: about one missshift in six months, do you have the

374
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:51,399
Speaker 4: opportunity to find your own replacement and trade hours. A

375
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,840
Speaker 4: twelve pack or adult beverage can help motivate coworkers into

376
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,440
Speaker 4: helping you out. But no one on this planet should

377
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,639
Speaker 4: expect you to miss your brother's wedding. Just tell them

378
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,160
Speaker 4: you have to take an unexcused absence and you'll take

379
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,159
Speaker 4: the consequences. You're giving a lot of notice, which is

380
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 4: much better than just calling in sick the day of

381
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,960
Speaker 4: enjoy the wedding. Also, your brother is an a hole

382
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,359
Speaker 4: for giving such short notice. I assume you're going to

383
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,439
Speaker 4: be an uncle suon congrats and a to add floater.

384
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,919
Speaker 4: Supervisor is also the a hole for not notifying you sooner.

385
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,600
Speaker 4: Plus she just sounds awful and OPI responds, they write

386
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 4: the schedule a week in advance, which I think is

387
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 4: rather ridiculous. But you know, yeah, Op replied to a

388
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:32,200
Speaker 4: deleted comment. It is definitely not my first job. I've

389
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 4: worked crappy customer service jobs for most of my twenties.

390
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,600
Speaker 4: I've been bullied and pushed around most of my life.

391
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,919
Speaker 4: I let the popular kids do it in high school.

392
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,320
Speaker 4: I let people bully me out of jobs because I'm

393
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,119
Speaker 4: not a boot liquor. I'm so done with getting bullied

394
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 4: and treating like I'm disposable garbage, especially when I can

395
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 4: see the end in sight. Jazz, you'r says, not the

396
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,280
Speaker 4: a hole, But what does your contract say? One month

397
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,040
Speaker 4: notice is fine? Honestly, you wouldn't be the a hole

398
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,879
Speaker 4: in my opinion. Anyway, this is your there's a big day,

399
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,160
Speaker 4: so I'm glad you have this thought in your heart.

400
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,560
Speaker 4: X asdfxx.

401
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:06,320
Speaker 3: Why quit?

402
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,200
Speaker 4: Though? Op hasn't gotten an answer from his or her boss,

403
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 4: and it's unclear what the relationship is between the lead

404
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:15,240
Speaker 4: and his or her management chain. Also, many businesses are

405
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:19,720
Speaker 4: struggling to hire, let alone already trained employees. So there's

406
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,920
Speaker 4: two things. Text or email the actual boss as per

407
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,680
Speaker 4: discussion one month ago, confirming I will be out of town,

408
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:29,200
Speaker 4: blah blah blah blah blah. If that generates pushback, text

409
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,440
Speaker 4: or email, dear boss, We're not discussing if I'm going

410
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 4: to my brother's wedding. We're discussing if I still work

411
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,480
Speaker 4: here when I come back. Let me know by blank date,

412
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,480
Speaker 4: if you want me to come in again, or if

413
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 4: I can extend my time with family. Yeah, honestly, I.

414
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 3: Really like that one. I hate these people. This is

415
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,680
Speaker 3: not that sounds like a terrible work environment.

416
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:52,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, especially if you're getting written up. Yeah the comment

417
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,159
Speaker 4: you made to the form of.

418
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,360
Speaker 3: This is ridiculous. Yeah that is crazy.

419
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 4: Deleted says absolutely not the a whole. If they're going

420
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,080
Speaker 4: to offer that much from you being gone a day

421
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,960
Speaker 4: or two, then they are heavily understaffed and it is

422
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 4: on them. Deleted Another downpoaded comment with the heck, guys,

423
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 4: you're the a hole because it's just a wedding.

424
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:16,440
Speaker 3: Oh my god. These people are like capitalism's number one employees.

425
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:21,480
Speaker 4: I would understand if it was a funeral or something

426
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:22,719
Speaker 4: super important.

427
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 3: Does this person work.

428
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 4: For One's gonna know if you're at their funeral?

429
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 3: Does that come to just get fired from a nanny.

430
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 4: Job because the bed was squeaking? Yeah?

431
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,960
Speaker 3: Because they sound like a real downer. Yeah, so I'm

432
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 3: really like a real kill joy.

433
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 4: Just send a wedding gift and keep it pushing. That

434
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 4: is insane.

435
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 3: Her brother's wedding isn't important. This person's like psychotic.

436
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,399
Speaker 4: The loud Canadian girl says, not the a hole. You

437
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 4: gave plenty of notice and sent a reminder. This is

438
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,919
Speaker 4: a big day for your brother, and it's important that

439
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 4: you go. My brother passed a few years ago, and

440
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,960
Speaker 4: let me tell you, I regret every event I missed

441
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 4: due to working that shift. Is not worth it. Go

442
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 4: to the wedding, Yeah, I'm sorry.

443
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 3: Like minimum wage job, that's not creat that you don't like,

444
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,080
Speaker 3: that you're not staying in long term. Is not more

445
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 3: important than your brother's wedding. Yeah, that's a crazy to.

446
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:19,679
Speaker 4: Go to the wedding.

447
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 3: Please, crazy statement.

448
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 4: I like the whole thing of like, let me know

449
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 4: if I have a job, yeah, I come back because

450
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 4: I'll stay home.

451
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:27,439
Speaker 3: I would just stay right.

452
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

453
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,399
Speaker 3: God about as God says that commentary, is the boss?

454
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 5: I think?

455
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 4: So, Yeah, how dare you want to go to the wedding?

456
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 4: It's the It's not the boss, it's the lady that

457
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 4: was just to filler ship that didn't update. Two days later,

458
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 4: I sent in a letter of immedia resignation on Friday

459
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 4: to whom it concerns, effective immediately. I am resigning for

460
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 4: my position as a certified pharmacy technician at place of

461
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 4: employment in City. I appreciate the job opportunity, but I

462
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 4: do not feel I am a good fit for this position.

463
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 4: I have several reasons, but the biggest was the double

464
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 4: standards that I experienced. When I mentioned that I was

465
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 4: accepted into graduate school to pursue my teaching license, I

466
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,200
Speaker 4: was met with what I can only perceive as hostility

467
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:16,400
Speaker 4: towards me furthering my education. Other employees seemed to be accommodated,

468
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 4: but my schooling seemed to be merely an inconvenience. I

469
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 4: was also frequently griped out for not doing certain tasks,

470
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,880
Speaker 4: which I would do immediately upon being asked, when other

471
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 4: employees would not be, often because they were talking amongst themselves.

472
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 4: It was only ever not okay when I was doing

473
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 4: something wrong. I was also caught off guard at the

474
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:41,640
Speaker 4: unprofessionalism displayed by Witchy lead float Tech, who frequently berated

475
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,919
Speaker 4: and beat down others almost as sport. I told her

476
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,439
Speaker 4: a month ago that I needed time off to attend

477
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 4: my brother's wedding, only to get an aggressive text on

478
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 4: Monday afternoon of this week that she couldn't find anyone

479
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 4: to cover me. I was not told of any other

480
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 4: way to put in for time off, nor was I

481
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 4: given a log in to employee management system. So I

482
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 4: did my due diligence in notifying my job that I

483
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 4: needed time off for my older brother's wedding. When I

484
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 4: was told that me missing next week would be considered

485
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 4: an unexcused absence, I was deeply hurt. In regards to

486
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 4: which he lead float Tech. I've worked with difficult people before,

487
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 4: but I have never worked with anybody who seems to

488
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,959
Speaker 4: take pleasure in putting others down. If I'm being honest,

489
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 4: my one hesitation of leaving this job is that I'll

490
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,199
Speaker 4: be allowing her to come back as a floater to

491
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,880
Speaker 4: the store, and I don't think coworker one, two and

492
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 4: three deserve that. As someone who intends on being a teacher,

493
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 4: I don't tolerate a culture where those who bully others

494
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,160
Speaker 4: are rewarded. I don't intend on reliving high school.

495
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 3: The long one.

496
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,120
Speaker 4: We are getting as into it.

497
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 3: I think you were like about to be like at

498
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 3: a mic drop moment and then and then going You

499
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 3: held on to the mic a little too long.

500
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:50,680
Speaker 4: You dropped it, but you grabbed the mic.

501
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:54,879
Speaker 3: You were like, yeah, I got another thing to say.

502
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 4: I'm also wondering, though, personally, I think you should have

503
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 4: still asked if you would have the job when you

504
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 4: came back, because now it'll be questionable like severance.

505
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 3: And saying if they had fired you, you got a

506
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 3: lot better. Yeah.

507
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, but but don't worry, guys, we are still resigning.

508
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 3: Still more to resign.

509
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,199
Speaker 4: Ultimately, I think it would be mutually beneficial for me

510
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 4: to resign so I can focus on my studies and

511
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,880
Speaker 4: you can hire somebody who fits in better. I do

512
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 4: appreciate the opportunity, and some of the pharmacists and technicians

513
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,679
Speaker 4: were a joy to work with. I just do not

514
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 4: feel like this is a good match for me all

515
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 4: my best ope.

516
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 3: Yeah. My final thought is that if a company or

517
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 3: a workplace ever says that you cannot take time off

518
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,679
Speaker 3: or anything that has already been approved, pretty bad. Like

519
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 3: if you don't have to work there, Like if you're

520
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 3: able to have some sort of financial freedom to quit

521
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 3: that job and find anyone, do not you know, if

522
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,640
Speaker 3: you can help, but don't work at a place like this.

523
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 3: Yeah that we heard.

524
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, the type of people you were working with. Yeah,

525
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,439
Speaker 4: get out of there. I got a toward apply from

526
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 4: the district manager. Thank you, he's witchy. Lead float texts

527
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 4: Besty Lol, thank you for pushing me to be bold

528
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 4: and brave, we have some top relevant comments. Delete it, says,

529
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 4: not the a whole. However, that Parthian shot of our

530
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 4: resignation letter doesn't put you in the best of light.

531
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 4: I'm old school. I wouldn't use the resignation letter the

532
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:26,199
Speaker 4: way you did unless I intended to file a EEOC complaint.

533
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 4: Citing intimidation. Calling her out by name and trash talking

534
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 4: her like that doesn't make you look professional. Always be professional,

535
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 4: especially when the other party is not. Because if this

536
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 4: lead has been poisoning your reputation with the district manager

537
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 4: and you wrote and submitted your resignation like that, he

538
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:46,400
Speaker 4: would have all that poisoned version of you verified. Opie says, Yeah,

539
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 4: you're probably technically correct, but dang, if it didn't feel good,

540
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 4: I'll probably never get this opportunity again. So I took

541
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 4: it and edit. I also remembered one other thing when

542
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 4: I wrote it. I thought of what Laura Ingalls would

543
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 4: tell me. You have to tell people how you feel.

544
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 3: I love Little House in the Prairie.

545
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 4: I was watching Little House in the Prairier runs while

546
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 4: I studied today and remembered thinking that random name psych

547
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 4: not the able can got some quitting a toxic work environment.

548
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 4: In this job climate, I'm sure you'll have no problem

549
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 4: to find other work. Several years ago, I did a

550
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 4: power quit myself, and I don't regret it at all.

551
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 4: Sometimes it can be scary to quit a job, but

552
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 4: you should never force yourself to work somewhere that's making

553
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,439
Speaker 4: you miserable. That is the end of that story.

554
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,719
Speaker 3: I found a stranger's old photo at a dumpster, and

555
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,119
Speaker 3: it's resolved thirty three years later.

556
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 4: You kept the photo for thirty three years.

557
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 3: Backstory. I lived in Austin, Texas and found this photo

558
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 3: on the ground next to the apartments dumpster. I thought

559
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 3: about what was the story behind these two and why

560
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,959
Speaker 3: did it get chucked? I framed it and put it

561
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,919
Speaker 3: on my desk at were and as I moved to

562
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 3: New York, this came with me on the desk always.

563
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,159
Speaker 3: By the way this comes from, you don't know me,

564
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 3: man gee, And if you want to submit your own stories,

565
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay story time. I'm separate,

566
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.

567
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,919
Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here to give.

568
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 3: Good advice schoofully, but we don't have all the answers.

569
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 3: We only know what we'd do, so let us know

570
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 3: what you would do. In the comment, and oh P says,

571
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 3: over the years, thousands have asked me who they were

572
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 3: and asked it. I got no clue. So to these

573
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 3: two strangers, your forgotten photo has lived on and caused

574
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 3: multitudes of laughter at the randomness of it. Relevant comments.

575
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 3: Murdoch JX seven fourteen says, thousands, where do you work

576
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 3: that that many people walk by your desk? Oh P says,

577
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 3: ten years of it was a call center. We had

578
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 3: an attrition rate of like twenty four percent a month

579
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 3: higher environment, so unfortunately they're fame decline when I switched

580
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 3: to a more stable work environment. Oh P expands on

581
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 3: that number. I completely get that number seems absurd, but

582
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 3: here's the math. Ten years was an open floor call center.

583
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 3: I was a supervisor and four years I was a trainer.

584
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,919
Speaker 3: Four week training class is thirteen classes per year, twenty

585
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 3: to thirty two per training class. Not to mention everyone

586
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 3: else that wandered by my desk for a call center

587
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 3: of three k employees. I switched to a different function,

588
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 3: so now it's dropped to a very standard. Every once

589
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:13,439
Speaker 3: in a while, Michael quote unquote shows up in the comments.

590
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 3: Did you share the photo of them?

591
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,120
Speaker 4: You a little weird dude, but I'm kind of here

592
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 4: for it.

593
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 3: The internet can be such a weird place, and Reddit

594
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 3: such a mixed bag of everything. I have to say,

595
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 3: reading through the comments all the web sleuth thing is

596
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 3: so fun to read, and the speculation, It's difficult for

597
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 3: me to decide if anyone is even interested in reading

598
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 3: about a first hand account of that photo. But up

599
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 3: vote me and let me know. I'll lay out the

600
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 3: four one one if anyone is actually interested. I'll give

601
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 3: y'all a little spoiler. That's my junior year homecoming photo

602
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 3: nineteen ninety two. I find the timing of this post

603
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 3: especially fun because my high school age kid just did

604
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 3: the whole mom thing at Hoko last weekend. Obviously, this

605
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 3: is in Texas, because I've learned moms are very regional

606
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 3: as far as high school traditional dance. Akuchamont goes, Yeah,

607
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 3: I've never I've never heard of this. I applaud the

608
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 3: op for choosing an interesting but still anonymous to him photo,

609
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 3: and I'm glad he's gotten years of small talk from it.

610
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 3: I'll comment on just about anything except the other person

611
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 3: in the photo out of respect for their privacy.

612
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 4: Okay, so you're not married to it.

613
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I have sent the post to them, so

614
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 3: if they choose to comment, that's fine and entirely up

615
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 3: to them. I'll check tomorrow and see if anyone is

616
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 3: interested in real info. But I get if the speculation

617
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 3: is more fun, No worry. Update twenty more years later,

618
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 3: Oh my god, mystery is solved and thank you read

619
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 3: it for the assists. I found the guy in the photo.

620
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 3: I think they mean that, like, yeah, it's been twenty

621
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 3: four cents.

622
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, before I thought it for some reason at first

623
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 4: me to sound think it was a whole another one.

624
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. In a cruel twist, he is returning the

625
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 3: favor by putting one of my high school photos on

626
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 3: his desk. Fair is fair? Please to say both him

627
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 3: and the woman are both well, although not together. And

628
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 3: yes that was alexis Els and it is almost most

629
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 3: likely still running extremely well, so all three stars of

630
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 3: this photo are still going strong. He will be in

631
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 3: the comments if you want additional context. So I don't

632
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 3: want to speak for him. What do you think then?

633
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 4: It was like him and his high school girlfriend like

634
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 4: just broken up. He's like Oh my god.

635
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't look at that. I can't see this

636
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 3: any ever again.

637
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 4: And twenty four years later, are.

638
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 3: You living it all? We had a good laugh and

639
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 3: he was a great sport about it, so this one

640
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 3: came full circle. Michael appears in the comments again, good date?

641
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 3: Is I the Michael in the photo?

642
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 6: Good day, Michael, Good day.

643
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 3: I really had fun going through a lot of these posts.

644
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 3: I posted a bit yesterday here and there, and a

645
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 3: few of y'all saw it. There's not much of a

646
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 3: story other than to note there was not real immediacy

647
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 3: between the date portrayed and the photograph and the time

648
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 3: of Opie's locating said photo of interest. He was nearly

649
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 3: ten years later, so nothing dramatic like a break and burn.

650
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 3: More likely just a victim of downsizing and a tough economy.

651
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 3: I had no real contact with Leslie in those years

652
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 3: after high school, but through the great miracle of Facebook,

653
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 3: we are friendly acquaintances once again. In the interests of

654
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 3: this being in mildly interesting territory, it turns out that

655
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 3: we both married other people, not each other, just to

656
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 3: be clear, and both had four children. Congratulations. Now, even

657
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 3: more importantly, as someone else noted, let's see about tracking

658
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 3: down the LS. Presumably the lesis Yeah. All I know

659
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 3: is my parents originally bought it in Houston, no Lexus

660
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 3: dealership in our small town, and traded it in for

661
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 3: another Lexus some years later after I was out on

662
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 3: my own. It is a nineteen ninety two LS with

663
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 3: the most beautiful color shift paint that goes from definitely

664
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 3: black to a dark forest green in direct sunlight. I

665
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 3: have personally bought two other of these cars since then used,

666
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 3: and none were as excellent as that particular one. That

667
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 3: first gen was something really special. Oh, he says, and

668
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 3: here he is. I confirm this is in fact the

669
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 3: man in this photo. How did OP find Michael too

670
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 3: combined directions? Someone private messaged me that he thought he

671
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 3: went to school with him and gave me some info.

672
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 3: So I found his Facebook profile. I messaged him asking,

673
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 3: but of course it went to a spam folder. At

674
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 3: the same time, a professor he knew from Ohio sow

675
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 3: the thread and messaged him asking if this was him.

676
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 3: So he popped up in the comments stating it was him.

677
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 3: The issue was a lot of people were commenting that

678
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 3: it was them. Fortunately I caught his and said I

679
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 3: messaged his Facebook, so he checked his spam filter and

680
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 3: responded there confirming it had been solved. So this candle

681
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 3: burned from both ends. He also let the woman know

682
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 3: and she saw it and was amused with the nostalgia

683
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 3: of the return at the photo. And there is an update,

684
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 3: a second update. Wow, this is so lovely. I think

685
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 3: there's no real issue here and I love that and

686
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 3: that and sometimes that's what we want. We don't need

687
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 3: an issue.

688
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 4: Every time, just getting a story.

689
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 3: Sometimes you just want a story. Guy, great story that

690
00:32:55,880 --> 00:33:00,120
Speaker 3: sit update too, new updated picture thirty three years. Hey,

691
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 3: the last month has been very interesting, finding this lovely

692
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 3: thread and helping to solve some of the mysteries. I

693
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 3: know a few mysteries remain, but I think you could

694
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 3: agree there has been a good balance of keeping private

695
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 3: things private and still having some fun with a quirky post.

696
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 3: So as a final update from me, I got in

697
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 3: contact with Leslie and we made an effort to recreate

698
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 3: the photo for twenty twenty five. I have attached it

699
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 3: and the link here to the original photo. You'll have

700
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 3: to make some allowances. The car and mum are color swapped.

701
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 3: While a very kind ditor offered to help locate the

702
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 3: original vehicle. We found it was last titled in the

703
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 3: area of North Houston in twenty ten. While that owner

704
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 3: might still be driving it today after fifteen years, there's

705
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 3: also a decent chance it was totaled and scrapped. My

706
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 3: kid did homecoming this year's so I was able to

707
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 3: borrow their mum. It will not be further identifying the

708
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 3: mum's owner since they are still a minor. I'm sure

709
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 3: you understand.

710
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 1: All right, let's see it.

711
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 3: That's cute, that's lovely.

712
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 4: It slightly weird to be, but yeah.

713
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 3: To get back after all those.

714
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 4: Years, to be like, hey girl, egg girls, eggs, we're

715
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 4: both married. Yeah, in twenty four years you want to

716
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 4: meet up at this ben car for a picture. But

717
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 4: I feel like it's yeah, strangers Internet story.

718
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like, you know, twenty four years later,

719
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 3: neither of you have feelings. You're both married. It's kind

720
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,279
Speaker 3: of like a fun Sometimes you've just bored and you're like,

721
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 3: you know what, Sure, let's be honest. Either of us

722
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 3: are in our high school bodies, and I do not

723
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,320
Speaker 3: have a suit that currently fits, and Leslie doesn't have

724
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 3: a dress of a similar type available, so please excuse

725
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 3: the wardrobe change. The car is not the vaunted LS

726
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 3: four hundred, but instead is my Yes three fifty. You

727
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:41,920
Speaker 3: can't say it is as good, but still a pretty

728
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 3: good vehicle, especially for nine years old. Also spoilers, the

729
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,760
Speaker 3: location is not in the same city as the original,

730
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 3: nor where the photo was found. You may guess, but

731
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 3: I'm not planning to reveal any additional on location.

732
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 4: That's all right, Michael the please don't doc yourself, please don't,

733
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 4: but rat it.

734
00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 3: How cool is it that Leslie and I actually do

735
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,880
Speaker 3: live close enough to make this remake photo work. For

736
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 3: any of that are concerned, and thanks for your concerns.

737
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,760
Speaker 3: Our spouses are collectively humored at this rather silly event

738
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 3: as it has unfolded. Any final thoughts about this this

739
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 3: very lovely simple story.

740
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 4: Can we have some stories like this the rest of

741
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:16,399
Speaker 4: the night?

742
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:17,280
Speaker 3: Yeahs.

743
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,720
Speaker 4: Can we just have lovely story telling times.

744
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 3: And just throw them in there? Every you know?

745
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 4: Three story stories?

746
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, once an episode, once an episode. I just want

747
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 3: a little bit levity.

748
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 4: If only there were so many wholesome.

749
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 3: Stories, truly. Yeah, this is a gold mine. I'll reddit,

750
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 3: you know. Yeah, but there's a little bit left, So

751
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 3: all the fantasy shippers and creative writers out there, both

752
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 3: of us are appreciative of your creativity. Good fantasy is fun,

753
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,399
Speaker 3: and we both encourage it. Those types of tales will

754
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 3: remain a fiction, but it is always entertaining to contemplate.

755
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 3: After all, there is probably a parallel universe somewhere and

756
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,959
Speaker 3: which happens exactly as you wrote it, just not this one.

757
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 3: Wrap up, I want to thank the op for the

758
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:01,280
Speaker 3: original post that started this most interesting of journeys. Perhaps

759
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 3: i'll update the photo on his desk a whole different

760
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 3: set of stories to tell. Also, thanks to Leslie, it

761
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,760
Speaker 3: was a good sport about this sudden flash of fame. Finally,

762
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 3: thanks to general Reddit for finding this quirky story so

763
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 3: mildly interesting. Okay, going back to lurk now, thanks for

764
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 3: my fifteen minutes of fame, and that's seeing the story.

765
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 4: Sam.

766
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,319
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories. But here's

767
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:21,800
Speaker 1: three of minutes bads from our sponsors.

768
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 4: My girlfriend's parents confronted me, and I'm unsure if I

769
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,240
Speaker 4: want to tell.

770
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 5: Her you're in a pence buddy.

771
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:33,839
Speaker 4: I have male twenty five ben with my girlfriend. We'll

772
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:37,720
Speaker 4: call her Sally. Twenty one female for around six months

773
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,720
Speaker 4: and things have been going great. She is extremely sweet

774
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 4: and gentle, absolutely adorable, and just the most thoughtful and

775
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 4: caring person I have ever met. By the way, this

776
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 4: comes from throwaway ashish Shoush and if you want to

777
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 4: see make your own stories, go to the r slash

778
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 4: okay storytime subreddit.

779
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 3: I'm Carly, I'm.

780
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 1: Riley, I'm Keon, and.

781
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 4: We're here to give good advice goop. But we don't

782
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 4: have all the answers. We only know what we would do,

783
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:04,960
Speaker 4: So let us know what you would do in the comments,

784
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 4: and Opie says. When we first started getting to know

785
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 4: each other, I found out that she was quite innocent,

786
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 4: in the sense that she doesn't understand most innuendos and

787
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 4: has a hard time getting those kinds of jokes. She

788
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 4: also doesn't smoke, drink, or have tattoos. She has never

789
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 4: gone to a bar or a party, and has never

790
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 4: gotten in trouble in school or anywhere. At first, I

791
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 4: thought nothing much of it, but I did find it

792
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 4: interesting that she liked me in the first place, considering

793
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 4: that I drink, have a few piercings and tattoos just

794
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 4: the opposite of her. Really. Everything had been going great

795
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,240
Speaker 4: until I met her parents a few weeks ago. Sally

796
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 4: asked me if I wanted to meet them and agreed.

797
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 4: I was excited to meet them because I figured that

798
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 4: if my girlfriend was such a sweet person, then her

799
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:54,919
Speaker 4: parents must be like her too, since they raised her well.

800
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 4: I was wrong because her parents are nothing like her

801
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 4: love at least not what when she isn't looking. When

802
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 4: I first met them, they were really nice to me

803
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 4: and were asking me a few questions about myself. But

804
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 4: they switched up immediately after dinner when they asked me

805
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 4: if I could talk with them in private. They weren't

806
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 4: so nice anymore and told me straight to my face

807
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 4: that they didn't like me and they wanted me to

808
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 4: leave their daughter alone. I was so confused, and when

809
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 4: I asked them, they said I wasn't a good influence

810
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 4: judging from my appearance. Like I said before, I have

811
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 4: a few tattoos and piercings, but it's only a few

812
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 4: ear piercings on both ears, one tattoo around my neck,

813
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,240
Speaker 4: one on my right arm, and one on my shoulder,

814
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 4: but they couldn't see that one. I told them that

815
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 4: I treat their daughter well, and that what I did

816
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 4: with my body was for myself and had nothing to

817
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 4: do with my influence on their daughter. But they just

818
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,479
Speaker 4: interrogated me with a bunch of questions like a rice

819
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 4: purity test, and it was so overwhelming. They spent a

820
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,399
Speaker 4: few minutes just berating me on my life choices and

821
00:38:57,640 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 4: that they want me to stay away from my girlfriend.

822
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 4: I told them I wasn't gonna do that and asked

823
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 4: if there was something I could at least do to

824
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 4: prove them that I had no ill intentions, but they

825
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:11,800
Speaker 4: just kept braiding me. After a while, it got awkward

826
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 4: and all three of us just got quiet, and I

827
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 4: kid you not, her parents go back inside to where

828
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 4: my girlfriend was waiting and start acting sweet again. I

829
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 4: just stayed quiet throughout the rest of the night because

830
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 4: it felt so awkward. Sally noticed and she asked me

831
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 4: if I was all right and got really worried, but

832
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 4: I just told her I was tired. Now I can't

833
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 4: stop debating whether or not I should tell Sally about

834
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 4: what her parents said to me. I feel terrible keeping

835
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 4: this from her, and a part of me wants to

836
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,879
Speaker 4: tell her, but another part of me thinks it's best

837
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 4: to stay quiet and keep the peace and just try

838
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 4: to make her parents like me. Over time we have

839
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 4: an update.

840
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 5: They're breaking up. You think they're done.

841
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 1: What do you think, Keon, it's a thing of well,

842
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 1: if they're never going to approve of me, maybe that's

843
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 1: who they are. And I don't want to go up

844
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,319
Speaker 1: on that, you know, fight up hill for that. But

845
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: if she's worth it, I mean, at the end of

846
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 1: the day, I think you gotta tell it.

847
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 5: Tell her, yeah, yeah, question yeah parents, Yes, like twice

848
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 5: a week and they said they don't like you. You're

849
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 5: still dating Carly?

850
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 1: Great, Yeah I might. I love Carly. They don't have

851
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,479
Speaker 1: to like me, but then.

852
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,919
Speaker 5: Loves her parents. And even though they don't like you,

853
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 5: then that's still like we're going to hang out together.

854
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 1: And that is Carly's choice. That's not my choice. It's

855
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,360
Speaker 1: not their choice. It is her choice.

856
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 5: See if that was me in that scenario with Angie,

857
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 5: I don't know if I could do.

858
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 1: It does suck, you know, it does sucks.

859
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 4: How big family is a person too? Like family is

860
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 4: very big for you, I don't know how big it

861
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 4: is for Kia, Like, yeah, it was a different way.

862
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 1: It was the same thing for me. If my parents

863
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:56,840
Speaker 1: didn't approve of who I was dating. I was like, okay,

864
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: you have maybe you have your rights, like you know

865
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 1: who I am, but that's for me and that's who

866
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 1: I want to be with. At the end of the day,

867
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 1: I can make my own choices. If you don't like it,

868
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 1: sucks to suck.

869
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 5: Yeah.

870
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, And then again, parents are hard to tell if

871
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 4: they like people are not.

872
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:13,319
Speaker 2: Yeah.

873
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 4: After I posted and read the comments, I decided to

874
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 4: tell Sally when she came over the day after I

875
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 4: made my original post. When she arrived, I asked her

876
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 4: if I could talk to her about something important, and

877
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 4: she agreed. I then told her about what happened when

878
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 4: her parents pulled me aside to talk. Some of the

879
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 4: comments told me to lay it on her gently, so

880
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 4: I did that, and I made sure to tell her

881
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 4: I didn't hate her parents and knew they were probably

882
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 4: just trying to protect her. She looked sad and guilty

883
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 4: the whole time I told her the story and all

884
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 4: the other stuff they'd told me. She looked really confused

885
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,439
Speaker 4: and disappointed, and she said she never thought they would

886
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,919
Speaker 4: be like that because they've always been nice to her

887
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 4: and the friends she's brought home. I told her that

888
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 4: it might be different because I'm her boyfriend, not her friend.

889
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 4: We talked for a few more hours about it, and

890
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 4: she kept apologizing for her parents behavior and the things

891
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 4: they said, to which I kept telling her that it

892
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 4: was all right and that it wasn't her fault. She

893
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 4: also told me that her parents might be acting this

894
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 4: way because of her older half sister that started dating

895
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 4: this guy a few years back and he ended up

896
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 4: being a really bad influence on her sister. She didn't

897
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 4: go into too much detail, but I knew from what

898
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 4: she told me that it was really bad and messy.

899
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,600
Speaker 4: Now I can kind of see where her parents were

900
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:30,279
Speaker 4: coming from that night. Still doesn't fully excuse their behavior, though.

901
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 5: The final thoughts they're gonna I don't know. This doesn't

902
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:34,879
Speaker 5: seem like it's gonna go very long.

903
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:38,160
Speaker 4: I think they're gonna be fine for at least a while.

904
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 4: I don't think we're gonna get a breakup in this.

905
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 5: They're not going to break up because of his parents.

906
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, if she's living.

907
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 5: With them, it's that's gonna be. That's gonna be a

908
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 5: tough one.

909
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing she also needs to confront her

910
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: parents about. It and be like, hey, this is the

911
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,000
Speaker 1: guy I'm dating again. If you don't like it, you

912
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,720
Speaker 1: don't like it. But that's my choice. I'm an adult,

913
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 1: and two, I'm not my sister.

914
00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 5: If parents are pulling up saying this stuff, look I

915
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 5: do X, I'm doing this. I'm comfortable with myself. You

916
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:08,000
Speaker 5: got a problem with that, that's on you, But don't assume

917
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 5: who I am if you don't know who I am.

918
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 4: I feel like there's a good chance too, that the

919
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 4: parents have a change of heart if the relationship goes well.

920
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 5: Yeah.

921
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:15,800
Speaker 3: Well.

922
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 4: After Sally went home, she told me she had a

923
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:21,880
Speaker 4: long talk with her parents. Surprisingly, her parents didn't deny it,

924
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 4: but they thought they were justified in what they did,

925
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 4: which annoyed Sally. She told her parents to apologize to

926
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 4: me in person, and after a bit of back and forth,

927
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,319
Speaker 4: they agreed and started realizing that what they did was

928
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 4: unfair to me. So next week I'll be seeing them

929
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 4: and hopefully it goes better than last time. I also

930
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 4: showed Sally the original post when she came back to

931
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 4: my place the next day, and she was reading all

932
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 4: the comments and realized that her parents have really coddled

933
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 4: her all her life. Which is another issue she'll have

934
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:55,800
Speaker 4: to talk to them about soon. But anyways, that's the update.

935
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,839
Speaker 4: Me and Sally are doing great and hopefully I can

936
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,840
Speaker 4: form a healthy relation with her parents in the future.

937
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:03,280
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story.

938
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:07,279
Speaker 5: My fiance left me at a football match that I

939
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 5: didn't even want to attend.

940
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:09,839
Speaker 4: Time to become a football fan.

941
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 5: I don't watch or pay attention to sports at all. Now,

942
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 5: I think my fiance loves sports, especially football. I understand

943
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 5: everyone has different hobbies and interests. Football was basically a

944
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 5: religion here. By the way, this comes from vint Throwaway

945
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 5: for this and if you want to your own stories,

946
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 5: where do you gotta go?

947
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 4: Carly the Okay storytime sub reddit. I am Riley, I'm Carly.

948
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 1: Did you forget your name?

949
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:36,320
Speaker 5: I'm Keon and we're here to give good advice goofy,

950
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 5: but we don't have the answers. I don't even know

951
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 5: my name. And if you got anything you do differently

952
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 5: in the comments let us know we read them. As

953
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 5: Obie says, he is always asking me to go to

954
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 5: a game with him. I'm not interested in football at all,

955
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,919
Speaker 5: but since it was important to him, I said, yeah,

956
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 5: why not We went to a game with his brother.

957
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 5: My fiance was excited because it was the first game

958
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 5: of the season. We had three tickets, but when we

959
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 5: got to the game, only two of the seats were

960
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:07,520
Speaker 5: together and one was somewhere else. I don't know how

961
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 5: that happened. I thought the tickets were always for seats together.

962
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 5: My fiance said he didn't know what happened. I ended

963
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 5: up being the one to sit alone. I wanted to

964
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,280
Speaker 5: sit with my fiance, but he said the other seats

965
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 5: were better, and since I didn't like football, it should

966
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,799
Speaker 5: have mattered where, I said. I hated it. I had

967
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,360
Speaker 5: strangers all around me, and a lot of them seemed

968
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 5: like they were wasted, and no matter how many times

969
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 5: I asked my fiance to have his brother switch seats

970
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 5: with me, he said no. I ended up spending most

971
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 5: of the game by one of the places that sell

972
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 5: snacks and drinks instead of at my seat, because a

973
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 5: couple of the strangers were rude and I was getting

974
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 5: nervous sitting alone. There was one security guard, but all

975
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:48,760
Speaker 5: he said was that it's normal for people at games

976
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 5: to be loud and excited. I did not have a

977
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 5: good time, and on top of it, my fiance and

978
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,360
Speaker 5: his brother basically gave me the silent treatment on the

979
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 5: way home from Chicago because their team didn't When my

980
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 5: fiance says I'm overreacting and that football games are safe

981
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 5: for women, so I'm blowing things out of proportion, he

982
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,760
Speaker 5: doesn't see a problem with me happy to sit alone,

983
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 5: and we've argued about it. I don't care if anyone

984
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 5: reads this or not. I'm vincy because most people think

985
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:18,400
Speaker 5: my fiance is right and say it's not a problem

986
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 5: to sit alone at a game. I felt disrespected, and

987
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 5: him telling me I'm overreacting is impacting our relationship. I'm

988
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 5: fully prepared for people here to agree with him, but

989
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,240
Speaker 5: I had to vent somewhere. It's been almost two months,

990
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 5: but I can't get over it. I don't even care

991
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:36,360
Speaker 5: if anyone reads this. Almost everyone I know says I'm overreacting.

992
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 5: I know a couple of people who say my feelings

993
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 5: are justified, but anyone who likes football seems to think

994
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 5: I'm wrong and my fiance is right. Am I overreacting?

995
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,280
Speaker 5: We have one comment here? Is he always this self

996
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 5: centered and selfish? You don't show up to a game

997
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 5: and just found out one ticket is somewhere else. We

998
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 5: always know our sporting concert event sitting in advance, you

999
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:03,040
Speaker 5: know when we perch. I'm guessing someone hint hint new

1000
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 5: deceiting arrangements ahead of time and did not tell you.

1001
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,400
Speaker 4: Yet it felt very on purpose.

1002
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 5: At least during this excursion, someone hint hint cared a

1003
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:18,319
Speaker 5: lot more about their own happiness versus spending time with

1004
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:22,439
Speaker 5: his fiance, teaching her a little about the awesome game,

1005
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 5: sharing the excitement and experience, making positive memories, and ensuring

1006
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:31,359
Speaker 5: her safety. If this is regular behavior for him, I

1007
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:34,760
Speaker 5: hope you haven't dated for many years, because I would

1008
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 5: not want to look back at my life with regret

1009
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 5: for not pulling the plug and leaving the knucklehead sooner.

1010
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 5: If this is not regular behavior, then it's time for

1011
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 5: a sit down conversation about why this wasn't okay. Adult, logical,

1012
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:52,800
Speaker 5: respectful conversations are relationship enhancing tools that we all need.

1013
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 5: Good luck and God bless you. Ope update eleven days later.

1014
00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:58,240
Speaker 5: Are they still together?

1015
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:00,959
Speaker 4: I think they are. I think this is just gonna

1016
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:03,240
Speaker 4: be their conversation, but break up imminent.

1017
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:07,879
Speaker 1: I hope if he does not understand where you're coming from,

1018
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 1: and he just keeps devaluating the I mean, sorry, I

1019
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 1: couldn't there. If he keeps disrespecting you and your boundaries

1020
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 1: or how you feel, I would call it.

1021
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, yea, so little things. That's how they treat you.

1022
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,760
Speaker 5: How A football game update. Eleven days later, my sister

1023
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 5: gave me a wake up call. She asked me what

1024
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 5: I would say to our youngest sister if she were

1025
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:31,480
Speaker 5: in my situation, without even having to think about it.

1026
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 5: My answer was that she should leave that guy because

1027
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 5: he obviously doesn't respect you. It woke me up to

1028
00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 5: how stupid I have been for staying and for not

1029
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 5: standing up for myself. If I would tell her to

1030
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 5: leave because she deserves better, why wouldn't I do the same.

1031
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 5: It opened my eyes about how I accepted my ex

1032
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 5: fiance disrespecting me and not listening when I'm upset. I

1033
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 5: broke up with him and have moved in with my sister.

1034
00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 5: I knew there. Wow, I kind of called that. You

1035
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 5: didn't see that coming?

1036
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 4: Sorry? What what do you go? Back a sentence?

1037
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 5: I broke up with him and have moved in with

1038
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 5: my sister. They're done, they cut it off.

1039
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 4: I saw it coming eventually, just not that quick. Oh, okay,

1040
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:14,759
Speaker 4: And I think that the sister with the wake up

1041
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 4: call was good.

1042
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:16,600
Speaker 3: I thought she.

1043
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 4: Talked to her fiance, not her sister, And I think

1044
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 4: talking to the sister, yeah it was.

1045
00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 1: If you love the game so much, why don't you

1046
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:25,319
Speaker 1: just marry it?

1047
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1048
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 5: Right, the one who woke me up, not my youngest sister.

1049
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 5: She gave me two months worth of rent so my

1050
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 5: ex fiance couldn't say I was abandoning the lease on

1051
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 5: our apartment. He can sign a new lease in January

1052
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 5: or move out, but at least he can't use that

1053
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:41,440
Speaker 5: against me. I don't know what I would do without

1054
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 5: my sister. She's going to help me pay for a

1055
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:47,040
Speaker 5: therapist so I can talk about my issues with accepting

1056
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,720
Speaker 5: my ex fiance treating me so badly. I'm also stepping

1057
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,439
Speaker 5: away from dating until I figured it out. But if

1058
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 5: you almost got married to someone, do not get into

1059
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 5: dating tier.

1060
00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:58,360
Speaker 3: You're you gotta take a break.

1061
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 5: You're and a half minimum, isn't it? Like I do?

1062
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 4: Also, dependent on how long the relationship was, I.

1063
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:09,399
Speaker 5: Do a month forever year me personally, I do two

1064
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 5: months for every year. That's fair, yeah, and then if

1065
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 5: it's like two months for every year, until a year

1066
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 5: and a half and then like a year and a half.

1067
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:18,480
Speaker 5: It's like, yeah, if I've been together with someone for

1068
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 5: like fifteen years, I'm not gonna wait for thirty months.

1069
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 4: Today someone it'd be like, you might need thirty months.

1070
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 5: You might, you might, but you know, yeah, they'll be

1071
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:29,160
Speaker 5: jumping into other people's pants.

1072
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:29,880
Speaker 4: Take time.

1073
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:33,280
Speaker 5: I appreciate all the support I got on my last posts,

1074
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 5: and also everyone who told me I deserve better. I

1075
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:38,840
Speaker 5: had my messages turned off because I got some nasty

1076
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:41,280
Speaker 5: ones sent by people who are fans of the same

1077
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 5: football team it's my ex fiance. But I do appreciate

1078
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 5: everyone who told me that I wasn't overreacting and said

1079
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 5: I deserve better. Even though I don't know any of you,

1080
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 5: it really helped. And that's the end of the story.

1081
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:54,839
Speaker 5: We're gonna read the next one.

1082
00:50:56,080 --> 00:51:00,040
Speaker 2: I trusted my boyfriend with my savings and he spent.

1083
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:01,240
Speaker 5: It behind my back.

1084
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 3: Better be for like a vote or something.

1085
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, you may better have bought you a boat. My

1086
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:10,240
Speaker 2: boyfriend nineteen and I eighteen, do not have any shared

1087
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 2: bank accounts and I do not have a savings account yet.

1088
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 2: So when I got my last paycheck before we moved

1089
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 2: in with his family. I asked if he could store

1090
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 2: about two hundred and fifty pounds of it in his

1091
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 2: savings account until Christmas, just in case I don't get

1092
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,720
Speaker 2: a job by then. That way I'll have spending money

1093
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 2: for people's presence. By the way, this comes from user

1094
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 2: fit Tumbleweed forty five forty nine, who that Tumbleweed lifts

1095
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

1096
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 2: to the our slag showay story to I'm suppered it.

1097
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota and I'm Savannah, and we are here to

1098
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 2: give you good advice. Goofly, we don't know everything freaking what.

1099
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 2: We only know what we'd do, so let us know

1100
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 2: what you do in the comments, and op says at

1101
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:58,720
Speaker 2: the time, he had about seven hundred pounds in debt

1102
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:01,879
Speaker 2: on multiple different credit cards, but was about to start

1103
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:04,280
Speaker 2: a well paying job where he would get paid weekly

1104
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,360
Speaker 2: and pay off his debts in no time. This was

1105
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 2: all about four weeks ago. The other day, I had

1106
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 2: the idea that I wanted to invest some money into

1107
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 2: reselling only one hundred pounds of the two hundred and

1108
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 2: fifty I had in his savings account, so if it

1109
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:21,200
Speaker 2: all went wrong, I had not spent everything I had.

1110
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 2: I kept asking him to send me the money so

1111
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 2: I could do it, but he kept putting it off.

1112
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 5: Saying we'd do it later. We're saying that I should.

1113
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 2: Leave it to him to look for the best items

1114
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:34,280
Speaker 2: to resell since he knows more about it, but failing

1115
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:37,440
Speaker 2: to do it every single time. I got impatient and

1116
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 2: fed up with waiting, and since Christmas is around the corner,

1117
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 2: I said, I want him to send me my money now,

1118
00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 2: as it is getting too close to Christmas and I

1119
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 2: need to start buying gifts. He kept saying things like

1120
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,480
Speaker 2: just use my credit card and I'll transfer it later,

1121
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 2: or I'll do it later, until it was painfully obvious,

1122
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,000
Speaker 2: and I said to him that if he had spent

1123
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:01,440
Speaker 2: my money, he just needed to tell me.

1124
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 5: I said something.

1125
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 2: Along those lines, and that I was not going to

1126
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 2: be mad. The thing is, his older brother, who he

1127
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 2: has quite a close relationship with, is struggling in a

1128
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:14,359
Speaker 2: relationship with a woman who is very controlling and manipulative

1129
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,959
Speaker 2: when it comes to money, and it has led us

1130
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 2: to have conversations about how we might run into these

1131
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:23,359
Speaker 2: problems in the future and how we would handle them.

1132
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 2: We both said that the money we work for is

1133
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 2: our own unless we mutually decide otherwise, no.

1134
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:30,880
Speaker 3: Doubt about it.

1135
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 2: It also put a bit of pressure on me, as

1136
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:36,239
Speaker 2: I felt like if I have a problem with it,

1137
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:39,840
Speaker 2: I'll be compared to his brother's partner. He admitted that

1138
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 2: he had spent one hundred and fifty pounds of my

1139
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 2: own money to pay off debts. He did not once

1140
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:49,200
Speaker 2: ask me at all. He just did it. He took

1141
00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:51,720
Speaker 2: it upon himself to spend my money that I worked

1142
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 2: for and trusted him with. Spent it even though he

1143
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 2: would be able to do that with his own money

1144
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 2: within the next two weeks, and just waited until the

1145
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,040
Speaker 2: very last minute for me to find out by myself.

1146
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,760
Speaker 2: I told him it was okay, but just to ask

1147
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:10,319
Speaker 2: me next time. I'm absolutely fine with helping him out,

1148
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:13,440
Speaker 2: but not when he doesn't tell me about it. For context,

1149
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:15,839
Speaker 2: I am a girl from a very poor family who

1150
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 2: has never had more than five hundred euros to my

1151
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 2: name now been not euros, pounds, five hundred pounds, five

1152
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 2: hundred pounds to my name. He has a successful family

1153
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:28,320
Speaker 2: and is a successful guy himself, with a steady job

1154
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:31,280
Speaker 2: and lots of support. I need the money way more

1155
00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:34,400
Speaker 2: than he ever has. I would understand more if he

1156
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 2: was jobless and would be for the foreseeable future, but

1157
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 2: he was literally just about to start working and would

1158
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:42,760
Speaker 2: have been able to pay off debts in no time.

1159
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 2: He had not even started to be reminded by any

1160
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 2: of the banks about his debts. Since it happened, I

1161
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 2: have felt quite hurt and betrayed. I've already told him

1162
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 2: that I understand and everything, but I feel like my

1163
00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 2: reaction made it seem like he can do it again

1164
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 2: in the future and get away with it, and it

1165
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 2: has definitely knocked my trust a bunch. He keeps telling

1166
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,239
Speaker 2: me to just buy things on his credit card and

1167
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 2: still will not send me the money I have left

1168
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:10,640
Speaker 2: in the savings account. But I do not want to

1169
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 2: buy things on his credit card. I want my own

1170
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 2: money in my bank account. I guess what I'm asking

1171
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:18,040
Speaker 2: is how I can bring this up in a conversation

1172
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 2: without sounding controlling. I feel like every move I make

1173
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,879
Speaker 2: will be compared to his brother's partner, and I would

1174
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 2: hate that because she is a horrible person. But he

1175
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 2: cannot just get away with it. I have no idea

1176
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,480
Speaker 2: what to do. I want to regain trust again and

1177
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:35,440
Speaker 2: be able to speak about money openly. Any advice please,

1178
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:39,279
Speaker 2: And we have some comments here, but do you have

1179
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 2: any immediate advice for our op here Savannah.

1180
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 6: I mean, I feel like, just have the conversation. You know,

1181
00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 6: there's no other way about it. Like you can't control

1182
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:50,560
Speaker 6: how he's going to react and how he feels, and

1183
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 6: if he compares it, you know, then that's on him.

1184
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 6: Like it's not so much like you know what you do.

1185
00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:59,479
Speaker 6: You can say something anyway and people will be like, oh,

1186
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 6: you know, like that reminds me of this person or whatever, like,

1187
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 6: but you can't really control that.

1188
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,319
Speaker 2: And if he's gonna try to tell you that you're controlling,

1189
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:10,240
Speaker 2: you go like, I'm not controlling. You stole my money

1190
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:12,319
Speaker 2: from me and I trusted you to.

1191
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 3: Look after it.

1192
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 6: That's the other thing is like it wasn't your money

1193
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 6: to begin with. And so if you bring it up

1194
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 6: saying like, hey, I have a problem with you like

1195
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 6: taking my money and using it without any conversation about that.

1196
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 6: So I think that you are in the right to

1197
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:29,720
Speaker 6: you know, you have the right to say something because

1198
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 6: it's your money.

1199
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 4: Absolutely, That's what I'm gonna say.

1200
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 2: I and I stand behind that, and there are some

1201
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 2: more comments. Comment everyone, First of all, never start off

1202
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 2: with you can tell me, I won't be mad if

1203
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 2: you know he did it. You have to straight up

1204
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 2: tell him if you did this. You need to tell

1205
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:49,240
Speaker 2: me because if I find out you're lying me, that's

1206
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:52,680
Speaker 2: gonna be an even bigger issue. Still, it's not going

1207
00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:55,520
Speaker 2: to sound controlling. And you can't control how other people

1208
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:58,160
Speaker 2: perceive you. If this turns into comparing you to his

1209
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 2: brother's girl, then it is what it is. You can't

1210
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 2: let him walk all over you like that. Facts comment

1211
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 2: number two. Open your own account. That's also I totally

1212
00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:10,520
Speaker 2: forgot that. I was gonna say that you're eighteen, you

1213
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:11,720
Speaker 2: can just open your own bank account.

1214
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 3: That's true. I didn't even think of that. You did

1215
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:15,319
Speaker 3: not have to give him that money for him to

1216
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 3: put in his account.

1217
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 5: You could just open your own bank account. Yeah.

1218
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,120
Speaker 6: Because she also said that she didn't want to share it,

1219
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:21,640
Speaker 6: like that was the whole thing is, Yeah, I don't

1220
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:22,880
Speaker 6: want to share it. I don't want to do this.

1221
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 6: You know, then I don't have a control like you

1222
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 6: do have control of your money. But then also you

1223
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 6: don't because it's in his account, you know.

1224
00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 2: And a lot of times when you're that age, like

1225
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 2: I I you know, I know, sometimes there's like fees

1226
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:38,240
Speaker 2: associated with like opening accounts and stuff, but like I

1227
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 2: think they can like waive stuff or like reduce stuff,

1228
00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 2: or like people who are like eighteen or like starting

1229
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:46,000
Speaker 2: school or like it really depends, I.

1230
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 3: Don't know, or just put all the money under your mattress.

1231
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 2: Comment to open your own account until you are married.

1232
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:55,920
Speaker 2: Combined finances are not a thing. If he has credit

1233
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 2: card debt, I wouldn't let him manage your money. He

1234
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 2: didn't pay off debt, he still owes you instead of

1235
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 2: a bank. If you gift him, he doesn't have to

1236
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 2: pay you back, then it's paid off. Frankly, he stole

1237
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:11,200
Speaker 2: from you. He is lying about it, and it's not cool.

1238
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:14,600
Speaker 2: You seem way chiller than I would be. Comment three says,

1239
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:16,880
Speaker 2: please don't be so desperate that you stay with someone

1240
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 2: who stole from you. Why haven't you opened your own

1241
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,280
Speaker 2: account yet? You are being naive if you think that

1242
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:25,040
Speaker 2: someone who's already this deep in debt and stole from

1243
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:26,720
Speaker 2: you isn't going to do more bad things.

1244
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 4: Um.

1245
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 6: I mean, I feel like it's just like you know,

1246
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 6: it's one thing that he is like not handling his

1247
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:40,440
Speaker 6: own money right, but now he's not handling your money correctly,

1248
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:42,840
Speaker 6: So that's like a big no no because that could

1249
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 6: be not only stressful for like you, but also stressful

1250
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:49,160
Speaker 6: on the relationship and then also on him, like there's

1251
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 6: like no good thing that he's doing here, And it

1252
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 6: kind of stresses me out because not that like money

1253
00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 6: for me isn't, like, you know, that big of an issue.

1254
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:58,880
Speaker 6: I never think of it, you know, even if I

1255
00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 6: have nothing, I'm like, whatever, I'll get some, you know,

1256
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 6: But like, I don't know, I don't like, I wouldn't

1257
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 6: trust someone who's already in debt to with my money

1258
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 6: because that just seems like they're gonna take.

1259
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 3: Advantage of it, you know.

1260
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:15,680
Speaker 2: I agree. I think you're kind of in a position

1261
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 2: around now, op where maybe the slope is a little slippery.

1262
00:59:19,480 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 2: I know, you say you're moving in with him and

1263
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:25,080
Speaker 2: his family, so maybe you don't have the ability to

1264
00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:28,840
Speaker 2: leave him and uproot yourself right now. But I would

1265
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:32,640
Speaker 2: certainly be like, all right, that is the first and

1266
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 2: only warning for thievery, and I'd be keep my eyes

1267
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:38,880
Speaker 2: open and as soon as he is a thief from

1268
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:42,800
Speaker 2: me again, it's over. I'm making an exit plan. I'm

1269
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:48,440
Speaker 2: developing a strategy to free myself from his influence.

1270
00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 3: Deception, from his lies and deceits.

1271
00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 2: Okay, there's another edit here to finish it off. Thank

1272
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 2: you all so much for all the kind words and advice.

1273
00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:00,240
Speaker 2: I've read all your comments, and I've decided that once

1274
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 2: I get my money back, which will be before the

1275
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,160
Speaker 2: end of this month, i will sit down and talk

1276
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 2: to him about it. I'm still hurting and upset by it,

1277
01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:10,400
Speaker 2: but this is the first untrustworthy thing he has ever

1278
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 2: done in our relationship. In every other aspect, is everything

1279
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:18,000
Speaker 2: I could have asked for. Sorry to disappoint everyone who

1280
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 2: asked me to leave. With that being said, if we

1281
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 2: have this conversation and he does not take it upon

1282
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 2: himself to apologize and do what is right, which is

1283
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:29,240
Speaker 2: send me everything he owes me, I've already made up

1284
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:31,640
Speaker 2: my mind that I will be moving back home, getting

1285
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 2: my old job back, and moving on. Good trust is

1286
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:38,280
Speaker 2: a huge deal for me, but also so are second chances.

1287
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:42,040
Speaker 2: Thanks guys, Smiley face, smiley face, little bitty heart. And

1288
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 2: that is the end of that story.

1289
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here.

1290
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:47,080
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the story.

1291
01:00:47,120 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 2: So but here's a quick three minute break from ask

1292
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:49,360
Speaker 2: for more sponsors.

1293
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:52,440
Speaker 6: My girlfriend is part of a mean girl's group, and

1294
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:54,600
Speaker 6: now I'm reconsidering everything.

1295
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:57,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, you should have really reconsidered trying to make that

1296
01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:00,880
Speaker 2: thing because it's not or whatever they say in that movie.

1297
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:04,160
Speaker 6: I twenty seven male, met this girl i'll call Katie,

1298
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 6: twenty three female at a school event about a year ago,

1299
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 6: and we really clicked and soon made things official. I

1300
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:13,600
Speaker 6: understand that I saw things partly through rose colored glasses,

1301
01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:15,800
Speaker 6: but I really really liked this girl to the point

1302
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 6: that I started thinking she might be the one. We

1303
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 6: just matched well on every level, have similar hobbies, but importantly,

1304
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:25,200
Speaker 6: I thought she was a really good and kind person.

1305
01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from throw r a fan

1306
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 6: CEA and if you want to submit your own stories,

1307
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 6: go to our slash Okay storytime Supreddit. I am Savannah,

1308
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:41,280
Speaker 6: I'm Dakota, and we're here to give advice Gooflee, but

1309
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:44,560
Speaker 6: we do not have all the answers. We're just gonna

1310
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 6: comment on what we would do in this situation, and

1311
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 6: we would love to hear what you would do in

1312
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 6: this situation in the comments. As op says, now something

1313
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:54,560
Speaker 6: happened that really made me reevaluate things.

1314
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:56,040
Speaker 3: So we were sitting in bed and she.

1315
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:59,000
Speaker 6: Was texting and laughing about something. I glanced at the

1316
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 6: phone and saw the Tender profile of a guy, which

1317
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 6: made me think WTF. When she went to take a shower.

1318
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:07,560
Speaker 6: I am not super proud of this, I admit I

1319
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:10,520
Speaker 6: snooped given what I thought I saw, and checked her phone.

1320
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:13,680
Speaker 6: When her phone opened up, it turns out that she

1321
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:16,120
Speaker 6: wasn't on Tender, but rather on a group chat with

1322
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:19,480
Speaker 6: some friends, and the Tinder pick was a screenshot. Of course,

1323
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:22,480
Speaker 6: that was a relief, but the rest of the context

1324
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:25,040
Speaker 6: was just as bad in some ways. The group chat

1325
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:27,840
Speaker 6: was basically a one topic channel where the theme was

1326
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:30,280
Speaker 6: roasting the guys they hooked up with or were dating,

1327
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:33,760
Speaker 6: and it was very explicit talking about specific guys together

1328
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 6: with their picks and joking about their inadequacy in bed

1329
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:40,120
Speaker 6: or even how ill endowed they were. As far as

1330
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 6: I scrolled, I wasn't featured on there woo, But I

1331
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:47,560
Speaker 6: saw Katie herself write really mean comments, example about a

1332
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:51,600
Speaker 6: guy her friend was with who got emotional during Spicy's sleep,

1333
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:54,960
Speaker 6: basically calling him a pathetic loser. I was just shocked

1334
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,120
Speaker 6: to read those comments because it seemed so out of

1335
01:02:57,240 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 6: character for her. When she got back in the room,

1336
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,560
Speaker 6: I fell up to the snooping and confronted her. Surprisingly,

1337
01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 6: she wasn't really mad, but she also wasn't remorseful in

1338
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 6: the least. She said the chat was with her closest

1339
01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:11,040
Speaker 6: friends and they always talked about everything.

1340
01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:12,240
Speaker 4: I told her.

1341
01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:15,080
Speaker 6: I thought it was really effed up to talk this

1342
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:18,840
Speaker 6: way about other people, especially since it wasn't just Rando's.

1343
01:03:19,320 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 6: I recognized a few mutual friends discussed on there in

1344
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 6: an explicit way, and I am sure they didn't consent

1345
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:29,040
Speaker 6: to being that information being discussed. But again, she got

1346
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:32,920
Speaker 6: really defensive, said those were her closest friends and what

1347
01:03:32,960 --> 01:03:34,720
Speaker 6: they talk about is their business.

1348
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:35,000
Speaker 2: True.

1349
01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:35,560
Speaker 4: I agree.

1350
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 6: I asked her if she talked about us as well,

1351
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:41,040
Speaker 6: and she refused to answer. The conversation kind of tapered

1352
01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:43,960
Speaker 6: off at that point since we both realized we were

1353
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:46,919
Speaker 6: too emotional and not getting anywhere. But I still feel

1354
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 6: very uncomfortable with the situation. I am afraid to be overreacting,

1355
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:53,880
Speaker 6: but I am very seriously thinking about ending the relationship.

1356
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:56,000
Speaker 6: I can't believe I am dating someone who thinks it's

1357
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:59,040
Speaker 6: okay to treat other people this way and join in

1358
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:02,320
Speaker 6: the public humilion of people who did nothing wrong. But

1359
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:05,720
Speaker 6: I would like some outside perspective from others, if they've

1360
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:08,440
Speaker 6: been in any kind of similar situation, and or if

1361
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:11,320
Speaker 6: they think I am blowing this out of proportion Comment

1362
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 6: number one. Honestly, if this is something that ruins the

1363
01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:17,960
Speaker 6: attraction to her, leave her. You know what she's like

1364
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:22,280
Speaker 6: when you're not around for the combos. Now, Opie says, yeah,

1365
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 6: it really does. It really changed how I see her,

1366
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:27,840
Speaker 6: to be honest, it's just kind of a mind if

1367
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:31,200
Speaker 6: because I can't really reconcile what I thought I knew

1368
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:34,320
Speaker 6: about her and this behavior. It's not just her either.

1369
01:04:34,440 --> 01:04:36,800
Speaker 6: I also know some of her friends on that group chat,

1370
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 6: and I also thought before that they seemed like nice,

1371
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:42,440
Speaker 6: normal girls. The weird part is that she made it

1372
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:44,720
Speaker 6: look like this kind of talk was so normal, like

1373
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:47,720
Speaker 6: she was surprised that I was so put off by it.

1374
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:50,800
Speaker 6: Now I wonder if it may be more common for

1375
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:54,360
Speaker 6: people to vent like this in private with friends, But

1376
01:04:54,880 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 6: I still find it hard to accept. Like if a

1377
01:04:57,120 --> 01:04:59,160
Speaker 6: guy friend told our friend group about a girl he

1378
01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:01,960
Speaker 6: hooked up with started making fun of her private parts.

1379
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:04,600
Speaker 6: I would be super creeped out and think the guy

1380
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:07,280
Speaker 6: is an a hole for violating the girl's privacy, like

1381
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:11,600
Speaker 6: that comment number two, she refused to answer. That means yes,

1382
01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:14,520
Speaker 6: I would press her on that, but that's me. I

1383
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:18,000
Speaker 6: don't get why she doesn't just lie. A crappy person

1384
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:20,720
Speaker 6: would just say no right. Another reply, She may not

1385
01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:23,320
Speaker 6: want to trap herself in a lie. He told her

1386
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:26,600
Speaker 6: he snooped. She doesn't know if he snooped far enough

1387
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:29,720
Speaker 6: to perhaps find her comments about him, so she maintains

1388
01:05:29,760 --> 01:05:34,040
Speaker 6: plausible deniability. He either knows and she can then admit

1389
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:38,080
Speaker 6: when he shows his hand, or he doesn't and she

1390
01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:39,280
Speaker 6: can avoid ADMITTI.

1391
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:43,160
Speaker 2: Names Okay, well, I think that's still going a little too.

1392
01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:46,480
Speaker 2: I think maybe she's just surprised. She came out of

1393
01:05:46,520 --> 01:05:49,160
Speaker 2: the shower and was like, what, you snooped through my

1394
01:05:49,160 --> 01:05:50,800
Speaker 2: phone and you look through at my group chat and

1395
01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:51,800
Speaker 2: you're what.

1396
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:53,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, did I talk about you?

1397
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:56,200
Speaker 5: You're really upset. I don't know.

1398
01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:57,480
Speaker 2: I don't know just what.

1399
01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:01,680
Speaker 6: Sometimes I send the group chat to people who I'm

1400
01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:04,400
Speaker 6: talking to be like, oh my god, this is so funny,

1401
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:07,280
Speaker 6: look check this out, or like they'll send a guide,

1402
01:06:07,280 --> 01:06:09,320
Speaker 6: I'll be like, please look at this guy.

1403
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:10,160
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1404
01:06:10,840 --> 01:06:12,680
Speaker 2: Hey, it just happens, all right.

1405
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:14,400
Speaker 6: It does, And that doesn't make you a bad person.

1406
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:16,480
Speaker 6: It just like makes you like, you know, you can

1407
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:19,040
Speaker 6: laugh about it, you can enjoy it, but not like

1408
01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:21,480
Speaker 6: like you can laugh about it like in private obviously,

1409
01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:23,720
Speaker 6: you know, like if I'm going and like making fun

1410
01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:26,320
Speaker 6: of this person, yeah, and like putting it out there

1411
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:28,920
Speaker 6: and being like this person's ugly stupid and you know,

1412
01:06:28,920 --> 01:06:31,680
Speaker 6: blah blah, Like that's that's taking it ten.

1413
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:33,520
Speaker 2: Girls would be like taking all this stuff in the

1414
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:36,880
Speaker 2: group chat, finding where these people work and hang out,

1415
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:40,040
Speaker 2: and then like posting it up on the walls. Yeah,

1416
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:42,320
Speaker 2: being like this person's just pathetic loser.

1417
01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:42,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1418
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:45,200
Speaker 6: It's like I would never say that to that person's

1419
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 6: face because I would be respect But I can have

1420
01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:52,080
Speaker 6: those thoughts in my mind and I can say them

1421
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:53,919
Speaker 6: to like my closest friends and we can like laugh

1422
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:55,440
Speaker 6: about them and stuff. But that doesn't make you a

1423
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:58,120
Speaker 6: bad person. It just means that you can, like, you know,

1424
01:06:58,280 --> 01:06:59,920
Speaker 6: you trust these people, but you don't need to make

1425
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:02,800
Speaker 6: that person feel bad about your what you feel.

1426
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 3: You know.

1427
01:07:03,920 --> 01:07:08,440
Speaker 6: We got another update, update number two nineteen days later.

1428
01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:12,440
Speaker 6: This all actually happened a few days after my original post,

1429
01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:15,320
Speaker 6: but things have been pretty hectic since then. But I

1430
01:07:15,360 --> 01:07:17,480
Speaker 6: wanted to write a quick update since I got some

1431
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:20,440
Speaker 6: useful advice in the first thread. The best advice was

1432
01:07:20,440 --> 01:07:23,000
Speaker 6: to insist on seeing the chat one last time to

1433
01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:26,320
Speaker 6: see if she had written anything about me. She initially

1434
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:30,360
Speaker 6: said no because it also has private information about her friends.

1435
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:32,520
Speaker 3: Uh, et cetera, et cetera.

1436
01:07:32,560 --> 01:07:35,000
Speaker 6: But I basically said, if she doesn't let me see

1437
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,680
Speaker 6: the text, it's over, and she reluctantly agreed, but told

1438
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:39,240
Speaker 6: me to keep in mind that this was a year

1439
01:07:39,280 --> 01:07:41,360
Speaker 6: ago and how much we grew as a couple since then.

1440
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:42,640
Speaker 4: Blah blah blah.

1441
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:45,680
Speaker 6: I scrolled to the period when we started dating, and yeah,

1442
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:49,160
Speaker 6: sure enough, there I was in the text. It actually

1443
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:51,800
Speaker 6: made me feel really weird reading other people talking about me.

1444
01:07:51,960 --> 01:07:55,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, exactly, because why you don't need to know that,

1445
01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:58,160
Speaker 7: Like if she wants to tell you, she can tell you,

1446
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:00,960
Speaker 7: don't need to know every single thing she thinks about you,

1447
01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:02,880
Speaker 7: you know, before you even date, Like what's the fun

1448
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:03,160
Speaker 7: in that?

1449
01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:06,200
Speaker 6: And then like you know, now you know them, and now.

1450
01:08:06,280 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 3: You know it's weird to think that this is how

1451
01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:08,880
Speaker 3: she felt before.

1452
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:11,440
Speaker 6: Blah blah blah, this stuff like, but that's her.

1453
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:13,320
Speaker 3: That's how you know. It's interesting.

1454
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:15,600
Speaker 2: Your damage has already done. Brother, I think you gotta

1455
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:16,960
Speaker 2: find yourself in Nashalttle.

1456
01:08:17,400 --> 01:08:19,240
Speaker 5: I don't know nasalttle.

1457
01:08:19,280 --> 01:08:24,280
Speaker 2: Southern bial is someone who says, oh good, heavens, I know, like.

1458
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:25,400
Speaker 6: Not everyone's like a saint.

1459
01:08:25,439 --> 01:08:27,840
Speaker 3: I don't understand someone who says I do declare.

1460
01:08:28,240 --> 01:08:30,559
Speaker 6: Right around the time we first slept together, someone asked

1461
01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:34,480
Speaker 6: her if I was better than some guy, apparently a former.

1462
01:08:36,320 --> 01:08:36,760
Speaker 3: Of her.

1463
01:08:38,439 --> 01:08:42,040
Speaker 6: Without missing a beat, she fires back no, that it

1464
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,400
Speaker 6: was kind of disappointing because I was nervous and had

1465
01:08:44,439 --> 01:08:47,439
Speaker 6: some performance anxiety, and then actually went into detail about

1466
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:50,320
Speaker 6: what we did. She knew I was feeling anxious since

1467
01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:53,120
Speaker 6: I hadn't been with anyone in a while after bad breakup,

1468
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:56,000
Speaker 6: and she was supporting in person, so it felt extra

1469
01:08:56,040 --> 01:08:58,439
Speaker 6: crappy that behind my back she was complaining about me.

1470
01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:03,080
Speaker 6: A friend of her even mocked me, and she said nothing.

1471
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:06,280
Speaker 6: By the way, we'll never mock you and say nothing.

1472
01:09:07,479 --> 01:09:08,800
Speaker 2: We got stuff to say.

1473
01:09:09,439 --> 01:09:12,120
Speaker 3: We say a lot, we say a lot, you know, let's.

1474
01:09:11,960 --> 01:09:14,160
Speaker 2: Just fish it off. I think we've put everything out there.

1475
01:09:14,560 --> 01:09:16,720
Speaker 2: I think this guy just kind of wants to hurt

1476
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:18,679
Speaker 2: his feelings a little bit. He needs someone who says

1477
01:09:18,720 --> 01:09:23,120
Speaker 2: abdu de claire, and you know, he's like, I can't

1478
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:25,680
Speaker 2: believe she said this by my back instead of insulting

1479
01:09:25,680 --> 01:09:27,880
Speaker 2: me to my face in a moment of vulnerability.

1480
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:31,439
Speaker 3: I can't believe she wouldn't be mean to me in.

1481
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:34,000
Speaker 2: Real life instead of just saying it to her friends

1482
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:36,240
Speaker 2: in the privacy of their own group chat.

1483
01:09:36,560 --> 01:09:37,559
Speaker 3: See, that's great.

1484
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:40,240
Speaker 2: Before we were any before we were even we were

1485
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:43,479
Speaker 2: basically like we just started seeing each other, and she

1486
01:09:43,520 --> 01:09:47,839
Speaker 2: didn't call me fast come on like that.

1487
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:51,639
Speaker 6: That's crazy to me, all right, Katie saw the look

1488
01:09:51,680 --> 01:09:54,200
Speaker 6: on my face and tried to tell me again that

1489
01:09:54,240 --> 01:09:56,639
Speaker 6: we grew so much and things became really good when

1490
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:59,040
Speaker 6: we got comfortable with each other and connected.

1491
01:09:59,439 --> 01:10:01,400
Speaker 2: Yes, big fact.

1492
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:04,120
Speaker 6: She even showed me a text where she said that

1493
01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:07,519
Speaker 6: to her friends. But honestly, at that point I was

1494
01:10:07,560 --> 01:10:10,320
Speaker 6: already done. I asked her to move out, and after

1495
01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:12,840
Speaker 6: a bit of drama and nasty words, she moved her

1496
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:14,200
Speaker 6: stuff to my mother's place.

1497
01:10:14,720 --> 01:10:16,760
Speaker 2: Her mother's place, Oh to her, Okay.

1498
01:10:16,479 --> 01:10:20,920
Speaker 6: I was like, wait, moved her stuff to her mother's place.

1499
01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:24,160
Speaker 6: As others said, I have no doubt that they are

1500
01:10:24,200 --> 01:10:27,080
Speaker 6: talking crap about me together, but honestly, I could not

1501
01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:29,960
Speaker 6: care less what those pieces of crap are chattering about.

1502
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:32,960
Speaker 6: I just never want to see any of them ever again,

1503
01:10:33,280 --> 01:10:34,679
Speaker 6: and that's the end of that story.