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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to steveharveysm dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry LETTA. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like I want to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. You never know it

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Speaker 1: could be yours.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's buggle up and hold on tight. We

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Speaker 2: got it full you here. It is the Strawberry Letter subject.

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Speaker 1: I want that old thing back, all right. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: My wife and I have been married for twenty two years.

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Speaker 1: Before the past four years we've lived apart. We talked

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Speaker 1: about divorce, but we never did it. It's very weird,

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Speaker 1: but we fell into a parent a pattern of co

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Speaker 1: parenting and just never filed for divorce. Every holiday she

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Speaker 1: invites me over so our family can be together. Every Christmas,

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Speaker 1: I sleep in the guest room and wake up, cook breakfast,

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Speaker 1: and then we watch our kids open present. It's not

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Speaker 1: until recently that I'm seeing my wife in a different light.

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Speaker 1: We got married when we were twenty four, and I

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Speaker 1: was still immature and selfish. Now that I'm older. I

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Speaker 1: see my wife in a position of authority leading a

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Speaker 1: household without me, and it kills me inside. I want

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Speaker 1: so badly to just apologize and go back home, but

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Speaker 1: my pride gets in the way. I fear rejection too,

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Speaker 1: because the children told me she's dating. She's got her

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Speaker 1: hair cut short, and she's still got her twenty four

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Speaker 1: year old figure, and she dresses very nicely. I don't

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Speaker 1: want her to forget about me and move on, so

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Speaker 1: I made up reasons to see her without the children.

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Speaker 1: I asked her to come to my office to discuss

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Speaker 1: our oldest child's college tuition, and she came in, smelling

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Speaker 1: good and looking like a movie star. All eyes were

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Speaker 1: on her, and for a second I was proud to

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Speaker 1: call her my wife. She quickly reminded me that we

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Speaker 1: are estranged and I no longer have any privileges. The

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Speaker 1: day after, I went to our middle school's band competition

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Speaker 1: and my wife's new boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Was with her.

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Speaker 1: I said, far away from them, because this cut like

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Speaker 1: a knife. Recently, I got enough courage to tell her

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Speaker 1: to call her to see if I if she'd be

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Speaker 1: interested in patching things up, and she let me know

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Speaker 1: she has moved on, and we need to file for

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Speaker 1: divorce for real. This time I cried, but she was

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Speaker 1: cold as I I can't lose her. What do I

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Speaker 1: do now? Well, it looks like you've already lost her,

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Speaker 1: and she so much as told you that, And you

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Speaker 1: don't say what causes separation. Four years ago you just

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Speaker 1: talked about there was talk about divorce, but never filed.

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Speaker 1: And for four years you both have been just dealing

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Speaker 1: with this situation for the sake of a kid. So

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Speaker 1: you say, until now, you never mentioned, like I said,

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Speaker 1: what causes separation? But I'm thinking you cheated because you

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Speaker 1: say you have something to apologize for, but your pride

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Speaker 1: won't let you. Now, all of a sudden, your wife

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Speaker 1: is looking like a movie star. She's a boss, smelling good,

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Speaker 1: she has her twenty four year old figure back, she's

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Speaker 1: got her short haircut. You also said you were selfish

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Speaker 1: and immature when you were married at twenty four, and

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Speaker 1: that's another reason I think you cheated. But now that

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Speaker 1: you're older, you see your wife in a different life. Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's understandable because people do change and people

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Speaker 1: do grow, and your wife is aging like fine wine.

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Speaker 1: Apparently it sounds like you're stuck and can't move forward

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Speaker 1: because you say you're afraid of rejection and just too

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Speaker 1: prideful to do what you need to do. I think

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Speaker 1: it's because the kids told you your wife is dating. Okay,

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Speaker 1: your wife is dating, So now you're getting all these

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Speaker 1: feelings about you don't want to lose her. You feel

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Speaker 1: like another man is taking your place, so of course

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Speaker 1: that makes you want her more. You realize what you

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Speaker 1: lost now. But unfortunately, your wife told you she's moved on.

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Speaker 1: She wants to file for divorce. Sounds like you need

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Speaker 1: to move on too. I mean, you could give it

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Speaker 1: another shot, no risk, no reward, but sounds like she's

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Speaker 1: made up her mind. And that's about the end of that.

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Speaker 2: Steve, Well, do came to the right place.

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Speaker 3: The only thing about coming to me with the letter

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Speaker 3: like this is being a man.

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Speaker 2: I know exactly what he's really saying. Now, what you typed, it's.

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Speaker 3: All cute, but bruh, that ain't really. That ain't really

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Speaker 3: what's happening. And we're just gonna have to be honest

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Speaker 3: with you. If you want Uncle Steve's help, I don't

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Speaker 3: know that I can, because you've ignored something for a while.

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Speaker 3: You've been married twenty two years, but the last four

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Speaker 3: y'all been living apart. Y'all talked about divorce, but you

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Speaker 3: never did. But every holiday she invites you over so

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Speaker 3: the family can be together. And every Christmas you sleep

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Speaker 3: in the guest room and wake up, cook breakfast, and

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Speaker 3: watch your kids open presents. And then you say, not

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Speaker 3: until recently that I started seeing my wife in a

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Speaker 3: different light. We got married when we were twenty four.

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Speaker 3: So you've been married twenty two years. That means you're

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Speaker 3: forty six now and I'm still and you were twenty

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Speaker 3: four and I was still immature and selfish. Now that

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Speaker 3: I'm older, I see my wife in a position of authority,

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Speaker 3: leading a household without me, and it kills me inside.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, so now you realize, as a lot of

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Speaker 3: men do families every day.

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Speaker 2: I got your dog.

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Speaker 3: I want so badly to just apologize and go back home.

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Speaker 3: And here's the reason we have this whole letter. I

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Speaker 3: want to so badly to apologize and go back home,

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Speaker 3: but my pride gets in the way. The Bible says

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Speaker 3: pride cometh before fall. You will see the fall in

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Speaker 3: this letter, and you will understand it was caused by pride.

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Speaker 3: When we come back, I will show you what he

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Speaker 3: considers to be pride, and I'm going to tell you

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Speaker 3: that it's something else.

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Speaker 1: All right, all right, Steve, hang on to that thought.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response at twenty three

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Speaker 1: minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter, subject I want

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Speaker 1: that old thing back. We'll get back into it right

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Speaker 1: after this. You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 4: and hard work to get in the door. Then't make

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Speaker 4: that house a home now, all that effort has built

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Speaker 4: something hugely valuable. Equity is the portion of your home

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Speaker 4: you truly own that can be tapped to fund what's next.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject I want that old thing back.

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, you do, doll, but you didn't appreciate it

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Speaker 3: when it was a new thing, and you didn't do

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Speaker 3: it right when it was your thing. Now it's becoming

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Speaker 3: old thing. We have a situation. Now you want it

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Speaker 3: back right. Married twenty two years past four, they lived apart.

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Speaker 3: They celebrate holidays together. She calls him over to the house.

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Speaker 3: He sleeps in the guest room. On Christmas. They wake

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Speaker 3: up and they wash your kids, open up, presence together,

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Speaker 3: and all of that right there, and then he says,

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Speaker 3: not to recently, I'm seeing my wife in a different light.

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Speaker 3: We got married when we were twenty four. I was

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Speaker 3: still immature and selfish. So now I'm older. He's forty

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Speaker 3: six now. By the way, folks, because he's been married

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Speaker 3: twenty two years. I got married in twenty four. I

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Speaker 3: see my wife leading a household without me, and it

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Speaker 3: kills me inside.

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Speaker 2: Here's the reason we have this letter.

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Speaker 3: I want so badly to just apologize and go back home,

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Speaker 3: but my pride gets in the way.

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Speaker 2: I said.

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Speaker 3: There as a scripture that said pride cometh before a fall.

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Speaker 2: Now, the four years of not filing for divorce.

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Speaker 3: And this pride you have, you want so badly to

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Speaker 3: go back and apologize, but you just your pride.

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Speaker 2: Get in the way.

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Speaker 3: Well, now the fall is occurring, son, And exactly what

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Speaker 3: is pride?

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Speaker 2: Everybody? What is this thing about men?

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Speaker 3: Sometimes that prohibits us from doing what's the right thing

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Speaker 3: and watching something occur, knowing what would fix it. But

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Speaker 3: your pride gets in the way. Well, let me tell

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Speaker 3: you what pride is. And then he says, I fear

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Speaker 3: rejection too. That he's trying to be honest, but this

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Speaker 3: pride is a part of that. See, the reason he

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Speaker 3: don't want to be rejected is could it be because

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Speaker 3: he does the rejected.

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Speaker 2: And now he don't want the roles reversed.

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Speaker 3: You know, you do what you want to do, but

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Speaker 3: then when it's time for you to do what you

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Speaker 3: have to do.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, she you call that pride? Okay, bro,

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Speaker 2: I go with you.

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Speaker 3: And then he says, I fear rejection too, because the

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Speaker 3: children told me she's been dating.

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Speaker 2: She got a new.

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Speaker 3: Haircut short, and she still got her twenty four year

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Speaker 3: old figure, and she dresses very nicely. Okay, dog, when

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Speaker 3: she got the new haircut, you ain't see this coming.

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Speaker 3: Let me tell you some fellas. When you see your

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Speaker 3: woman in the gym, when you see your woman with

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Speaker 3: a new haircut. When you see your woman going on

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Speaker 3: about her business, you better sit up and take notice.

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Speaker 2: If she don't ask.

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Speaker 3: You how you like my hair, if she don't never

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Speaker 3: mention to you why she working out, it ain't for you.

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Speaker 2: Play, It ain't for you. And I want so badly

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Speaker 2: to go back home, but I don't.

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Speaker 3: Want to apologize because my pride gets in the way.

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Speaker 2: So now here's what happened.

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Speaker 3: I don't want her to forget about me and move on,

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Speaker 3: So I made up reasons to see her without the children.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I said to come down to the office.

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Speaker 3: Just because your oldest child's children college tuition. She could

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Speaker 3: show up hair cut, shorts, smelling good, body banging like

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Speaker 3: a twenty four year old coming to office. Everybody notices her.

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Speaker 3: He pride out to call her my wife. But then

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Speaker 3: she told you, we are strange. You ain't got no privilege.

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Speaker 3: Stop telling people.

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Speaker 1: How did she say it?

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Speaker 2: We are strange?

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Speaker 3: You ain't got no privilege. Stop telling people I'm your wife.

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Speaker 3: Now you look at stupid down at your little office.

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Speaker 3: See this that pride, old dumb pride. The finest woman

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Speaker 3: in the world is your ex on the arms of

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Speaker 3: another man. See they blew it, pimp, and now you're

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Speaker 3: watching it. But oh, we ain't got that yet, but

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Speaker 3: we do. Right after this though, the day after our

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Speaker 3: the day after I went to our middle child's band competition,

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Speaker 3: and my wife's new boyfriend was with her. I sat

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Speaker 3: far away from them because this cut like a knife.

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Speaker 2: It's a song. I got enough courage to call her

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Speaker 2: to see it.

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Speaker 3: Now here we go. Now he got courage. Now see

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Speaker 3: a minute ago it was pride, right, Pride is ignorance, man,

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Speaker 3: And so now you got enough courage to call her

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Speaker 3: to see if she'd be interested in patching things up.

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Speaker 3: And just like she did when she came up to

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Speaker 3: the office, let you know you don't have no more

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Speaker 3: privileges and stop calling you me your wife, She told

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Speaker 3: you she had moved on, and we need to file

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Speaker 3: for divorce for real this time, because the boyfriend was saying, well,

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Speaker 3: if y'all ain't gonna divorce, why don't y'all just get divorced?

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Speaker 3: Because I want you, hm, I cried, but she was

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Speaker 3: cold as ill, a little bit too late for the tears. Dog,

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Speaker 3: Hold up, excuse me, didn't you say your pride got

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Speaker 3: any So what is you cry.

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Speaker 1: For what happened to that pride?

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Speaker 2: See what else that.

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Speaker 3: I can't lose her? Shirley said that you already can't

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Speaker 3: lose her. Who did you see at the band competition?

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Speaker 3: You think he ain't said nothing about the haircut and

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Speaker 3: the little banging body? What do I do now? Well, dog,

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Speaker 3: I think you've done what you're gonna do. You waited

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Speaker 3: four years. You took too long. You thought she was

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Speaker 3: just gonna sit over that hold of fine self and

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Speaker 3: wasn't nobody.

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Speaker 2: Else gonna want them proud?

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Speaker 3: You may be too late, homie, all right, and you

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Speaker 3: let your pride get in the way.

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Speaker 2: We gotta go.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand. Hey y'all, this is Monica, This

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Speaker 1: is Spike Lee. Hey, this is Mary J.

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Speaker 2: Blood.

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Speaker 1: Yo.

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Speaker 2: This is stephen A. Smith. Hey, this is sacka con

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Speaker 2: You have no idea what it is.

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Speaker 3: This is Carlos Miller and this may or may not

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Speaker 3: be the Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.