1 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:06,160 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode. Welcome this. I'm your host, 2 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:09,959 Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock. Guess that Kevin Pollock? What's that? Yes, today, 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: as we're recording, this is October, which is my birthday. 4 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: Thank you all for your gifts. I especially enjoyed the 5 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: chocolate moist masal. That was very thoughtful and creative. And 6 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,640 Speaker 1: you're welcome. Didn't actually happen, but I do have a 7 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: birthday card from all of my alchemists. It was handed 8 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 1: to me by Chris never right, So I'm gonna open 9 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,319 Speaker 1: and it says Kevin on front, so that's yours. Yeah, 10 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 1: where only Chris wrote in it and signed it because 11 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: it's so funny. But you made it look like Oliver 12 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: wrote my name, So that's good. And the card, uh, 13 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: it says hip Hip hooray on the front, so I 14 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: think it's sincere and celebratory. And then you it says 15 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:06,960 Speaker 1: it's her birthday today. So this chosen by Oliver as well. Yeah, 16 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: but wait, what's written in here is very very personal. 17 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 1: So I'm not going to read it now because I 18 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: Chris and I have a very special connection. I don't 19 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:20,559 Speaker 1: think it's anybody's business. Hey, if you want to go alright, Hi, Kevin. 20 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 1: That's ironic that today is your birthday and you are 21 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: a gift. Thank you for being so much to so many. 22 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: Thank you for your encouragement and believe in me when 23 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,040 Speaker 1: I didn't believe in myself. You are a rock and 24 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: you are a star. I guess that's what makes you 25 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:41,400 Speaker 1: a rock star. Wow, I'm about a third of the 26 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: way through. Well, my paragraph is the next one. Above all, 27 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: please know that the way you live your life is 28 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: an awesome example to those of us who don't have 29 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 1: many awesome examples. Looking at you for a reason. I 30 00:01:55,880 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 1: love you too much. I love you, buddy car. We 31 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: agonized over the wording of that for so long, but 32 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 1: I'm glad that we arrived at that. I think I 33 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 1: munched it up. You punched it up nice. And the 34 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 1: choice of just Chris's last name as a sign, that's 35 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: all our letters in it. So that's why Hello, he 36 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 1: got the date right, that's the magical part. A lot 37 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: of people make that mistake. They don't put the right 38 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: dat on. Thank you, of course, thank you, And now 39 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna open up the other gifts from the other Alchemist. 40 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: There's a expo low odor dryer race and you're always 41 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: complaining about those stinky markers from Vanesse Parmesan cheese stars. Yeah, 42 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 1: and from it was the best because it's James's phone. 43 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: He gave me James phone back that wasn't really his gifts. 44 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,079 Speaker 1: And now I have triple A. You couldn't even bring 45 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: a hash from It would have fed the whole table. 46 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: You know what, One of these days I'll bring in 47 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: some hash Browns. But we but we digress. Let's meet 48 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: a recommend show no particular to say. Oh, tell me 49 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 1: anything you remember about your senior year in high school anything. 50 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: I got a kidney disease and to go on steroids. 51 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,679 Speaker 1: So what you're saying is the greatest senior year in 52 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: high school ever. Yeah, it was pretty cool. Had a 53 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: cool pillcase, Yeah you did. It was fun. You've bedazzled 54 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 1: your pillcase. That's a awesome. Get the door for Craig 55 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: at Kowski, k cow. What time should I get there tonight? 56 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: And do you have an attire recommendation? I think get 57 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 1: there around to seven, right, and uh semi formal, semi yeah, 58 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: formal top casual bottle Mike Donald Duckett, you don't know, Uh, 59 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:18,799 Speaker 1: call call a priest. It's James Eeney, Jimmy Jack oh Man, turn, 60 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: can you still get me some crack because I've not 61 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:28,680 Speaker 1: read that magazine in years? Well, no, I've used up 62 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: all my freebees on Crack on the beach. But I 63 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,279 Speaker 1: could show you where you could get some crack. But 64 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,920 Speaker 1: they know me a mile away. Okay, he's talking about 65 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 1: the magazine. Still said you said crack crack. If you 66 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 1: were talking about the magazine, you need the e D apostrophe? 67 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 1: Is there a positive D or just you know it's 68 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: just D and it's crack on the beach of a 69 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,480 Speaker 1: new cocktail, no new track. Crack on the beach is uh, 70 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: it's running rampage. Actually, it's probably not a lot of 71 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: back on the beach. I'm sure they're still there. I'm sure. 72 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 1: I'm sure it's around. Check out I guess again. Check 73 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:11,720 Speaker 1: out the cans on that one. He's Joey Greer. Joe 74 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 1: don't know when you're coming back? When the moon shines 75 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: twice twice, so greedy and last, but your meter forever 76 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 1: run out before you get back in time. If you 77 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: think at least it's Chris Alvarado, cry Kee Melky, is 78 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: it still four year old? Nephew, is it still still 79 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 1: cool if your pants and I have lunch? Yeah? Okay, yeah, 80 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 1: yeah yeah, have a good time. We'd like to thank 81 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 1: all of you to become a v i P member 82 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 1: of our new Patreon page. We've got uh I'm gonna 83 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 1: say dozens and dozens so far, so we thank you 84 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 1: all who have joined us. Just go to patreon dot 85 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 1: com slash alchemy this you're good. Special content that's not 86 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: available to the public at large for sample, special um 87 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: scenes that will do specifically for you are monthly meet 88 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 1: up that will stream live but also recorded. And you 89 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 1: don't have access to that. There's a telephone number, a hotline. 90 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,479 Speaker 1: What that only you can well, it's not easy. We 91 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 1: need their help. That only you can call in and 92 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 1: ask any of us a personal question that we must answer. 93 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,280 Speaker 1: That's the fun part about this hotline. Um. So, So 94 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: check out patreon dot com at a rather slash alchemy 95 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: this all of today's scene suggestions and thank you to 96 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: all the v i P members and every level damn 97 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 1: it all, but especially the uh scene suggestions regather from 98 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 1: our listeners email. If you'd like to submit yours, please 99 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: write to the podcast at your name here at alchemy 100 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: this dot com. That's your name here at alchemy this 101 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: dot com. Now, before we get to our first scene, 102 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,600 Speaker 1: here's a lovely fan email. Hi Alchemist, I've set a 103 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,480 Speaker 1: picture of my workspace for which I undertake my relatively 104 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 1: relaxed menial admin work from UH. For a New Zealand 105 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: travel Whole Sailor, I worked from my home at the 106 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 1: end of the Earth, Dunedin, New Zealand. UH, Jamie and 107 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,239 Speaker 1: I are obsessed with the show below Deck Mediterranean. There's 108 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 1: a few UH crew members I think once from South 109 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 1: Africa and they're so they're deck hands and they keep 110 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: saying decns de hints yeah, and we just can't stop 111 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: giggling at decans. Yeah. So I have nothing to do 112 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 1: with New Zealand. UM, with only my partner to hear 113 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 1: my laughters, I listened to your show. He also works 114 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 1: from home for the same company. The view from our 115 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 1: office isn't bad either. Thanks for the many hours of 116 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 1: excellent entertainment as I pot her away on the computer. 117 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 1: Regards Ivan Bonn, and she sent two photos which I've 118 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 1: shown the the Alchemist. Yeah. Put put the photos next 119 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 1: to the microphone. Maybe they'll be with Yeah. Then the 120 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,680 Speaker 1: photo about your camera, James, did you not We're not 121 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: able to set it up? I mean, picture all right, 122 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: I'll take your picture of the picture. You couldn't just 123 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: send it to me later that I wouldn't be calling 124 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 1: out this moment here and now onto the scene. The 125 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 1: first one comes from Emily, who wrote, Dear Alchemists, I've 126 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: listened to every pod. You're also talented, and I am 127 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: so thankful for your hilarity. I don't laugh out loud often, 128 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: but when I do, it's thanks to alchemy this. I 129 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,559 Speaker 1: was so shocked to hear my name uh and alchemy 130 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 1: this review read aloud at the end of the school 131 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: drop off pod. I felt dizzy snapped me right out 132 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: of my concentration at work and made me giddy. It's 133 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: surprised and delighted me so much. I wrote a high coup, 134 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 1: which I haven't done since Great School. I should write 135 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: more high coups. Yes, enjoy I just reading what she wrote, 136 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 1: Enjoy Alchemists. It goes thus like Kevin's calming voice sharing 137 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: my podcast review, dizzing surprise. After listening to her review 138 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: a second time, I realized remembered it was James Heeney 139 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 1: who read my review aloud, not Kevin. I can't believe 140 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: I just did that. I'm so sorry, James, since you 141 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: were so kind to share my review. This made me 142 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 1: laugh so hard because this is such a Heeny thing 143 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: ha ended earlier were Hiku was just sharing my podcast 144 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: review dizzing surprise after listening to a review I were counting. 145 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: We were worried about Italy. I'm sorry. I thought I 146 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 1: was dealing with perpetual My bad, but you guys can count. 147 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 1: But she She goes on to say that she felt 148 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 1: so bad because this was such a James Heeney moment 149 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: to have been forgotten, saying that coincides with James treatment 150 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:08,079 Speaker 1: on the show. So for you, James Teney, Oh, can 151 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: you tell me when it starts? Yes, it starts now. 152 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 1: Laughter is healing, brings joy to everyone's heart. So alchemy this, Oh, 153 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:27,960 Speaker 1: shut the fuck up everybody. Her suggestion extreme scavenger hunt 154 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 1: in space. Thanks for all the funny Emily from the 155 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 1: United States. That's how James Heeney introduced me h and 156 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 1: also snoofer for ever in Spain terminal to sector two three. 157 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,320 Speaker 1: Al Right, so we're gonna be doing team building. I 158 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 1: want you guys to pay off on the scavenger hunt. Yes, 159 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 1: I have a question. Sure, who does the teaming? Do we? 160 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: Just I'm gonna team you up with somebody that you 161 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: don't usually I don't want to be with Levi. That's 162 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,080 Speaker 1: an unfortunate thing that you let me know, because that 163 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: means you're with Levi. Yeah, Levi. Yeah, you're with Sarah. No, 164 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 1: thank you. I'm so sorry, but that means even more 165 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: so you are with Sarah. I want this to be 166 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 1: a team building exercise. Here's your list of things you 167 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: need to get. You're a pair an orange? How the 168 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: hellow again? In orange? In space? That's what makes it 169 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 1: a scavenger hunt. But you've given us impossible things. You 170 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: know what you're with? You're with Luke Luke. Somebody was 171 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,000 Speaker 1: gonna have to be with him? Does Luca Luca? Put 172 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 1: pants on? Luke? You should put pants on. This is 173 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: a scavenger hunt. Get hot. I just want Darnell doesn't 174 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 1: have a partner. I'd rather be with Darnel. Well, I'm 175 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: sure everybody wants to be with Darnell, but human way 176 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 1: I would like to go. I'm gonna be Darnell's partner. Sarge. Yes, 177 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,839 Speaker 1: did you just rig this whole thing so that you 178 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: would win because you have the road. Just random. I 179 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,280 Speaker 1: was dot random. It wasn't random. We just said it wasn't. 180 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 1: So sorry, it was not on purpose. This was random, serge, 181 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: Yes you know what random means? Yes? Could you please 182 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 1: give me the definition the definition of random. First of all, 183 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 1: I am not a robot. I am a cyborg. What 184 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,559 Speaker 1: is the difference? Again, I have a human body and 185 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: robot parts. Luke, you're not the same, Darnell. Could you 186 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 1: give me a random string of four numbers two, four, 187 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: six random that it happens to be number consecuent. I 188 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:44,520 Speaker 1: want off this ship. We want off the ship, this 189 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: damn ship. You do now, but once you have a 190 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,079 Speaker 1: great team membership, it's gonna be sorry. I found in 191 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 1: Orange great started. We ben have we begun, We've begun, Sarah. 192 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,079 Speaker 1: I just want to say before we I know you 193 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: don't care for me and that hurts my feelings. Okay, 194 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 1: let's go, let's go. That is she going with me 195 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 1: or not? What do you mean we've already so, as 196 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 1: you can see, my client, the one seated to the 197 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 1: left there in this which one video, the one on 198 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 1: the far left, which my left or your left mine? Everything? 199 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 1: St Let me sit where you're sitting because on the 200 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: left are are the same for both of you. Because 201 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 1: of the way you're sitting. Could you could you read 202 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 1: that back? Please? Um? Which part my left or your left? 203 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 1: My left? Which left? Should I move my chair? Everything? Then? 204 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,199 Speaker 1: I came in okay, if your honor, if I may, 205 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 1: Everything started fine on this scavenger hunt, as you see 206 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,079 Speaker 1: from the video. If you'd like me to fast forward 207 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 1: to when they started taking each other's lives, I'd be 208 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 1: happy to. But again, my client, who's been accused of 209 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,960 Speaker 1: all the murders, was simply a part of the scavenger 210 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: I didn't mean to do anything. That's all right, that's okay. 211 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: I'd like to see some of the intermediary steps that 212 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,560 Speaker 1: led to them taking each other's law. A right, We 213 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 1: now take you to the following day. What suns like shit, 214 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,560 Speaker 1: it's hard. It's hard to wat my booty in space? 215 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: Your booty. You're a grown man. Hey y'all doing on 216 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 1: my space? Calfar? WHOA sorry, sir high um. We we 217 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 1: want to know do you have um? Hey? Do you 218 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 1: have hey? Of course I got hey, but it's in space. 219 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,480 Speaker 1: And space. It ain't no earth. Hey, that's great. Could 220 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: we have four pieces of space? Four pieces of space? 221 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,280 Speaker 1: What you want? Huh sir, I'm wanting to cost you 222 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: something wagon. I thought you needed help with the high 223 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I didn't know why you can't. Thought you 224 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 1: came up here for some milk or something coming in high. Yes, yes, 225 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 1: I'm leavin. This is Sarah. We are on a space 226 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 1: gavenger hunt. We were paired together. If that if you 227 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 1: smell something, that's my booty daddy, I want leave us. 228 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 1: But a right, well, let's see if we can't get 229 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 1: that asked for you specifically the balloon? Tap? Wait, what's 230 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: going on? Do you want the center of the butt? 231 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,520 Speaker 1: The balloon? The center? Right? I mean I'm understanding that correct. 232 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: What side are you looking at on? The center's talking 233 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,680 Speaker 1: about your anus and what do you care? I don't 234 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 1: like you, but I don't want space farmers. I get you, 235 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: hay for you, but I got a little issue. Seems 236 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 1: like there's a serpent wolverine located somewhere east like the 237 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 1: Crystal Caves. I need you all to handle that. Seems 238 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,680 Speaker 1: like it's terrorizing my cows. So if you can just 239 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 1: kill that form and that'll be great. Serpent wolverine. Yeah 240 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,240 Speaker 1: you heard me. Look at look at the number eight, 241 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 1: Sarah to Okay, okay, yeah, well handle it alright, to 242 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 1: get the hay first. No, you get it one, it's done. Okay, Hey, 243 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,240 Speaker 1: didn't want my butt. They an't gonna get that, but 244 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:04,480 Speaker 1: they are. You're gonna get that button. We're laughing, we're laughing. Okay, okay, 245 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,800 Speaker 1: I'm not going to do it again. But that that 246 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 1: was nice. I look there's a cave. Shit, I'm sorry 247 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 1: you were not already acquired. There's probably Darnell has killed 248 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,440 Speaker 1: every last serpent wolfe. We don't need you didn't need 249 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 1: to kill them all. We needed one too. You may 250 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 1: not acquire one. Now. He's a little more competitive than 251 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 1: I thought he was. Y, it's not You will notice 252 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:40,920 Speaker 1: that that wolve Raine has no teeth. Oh, it's just 253 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 1: it's just gnawing on my legs. Yeah, I wouldn't let 254 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 1: it come on your legs. Come on, Darnell. Sorry, what 255 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 1: what is the prize? Why are we doing this? We're 256 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 1: doing this because the prize is the journey? Can I quit, Sarah? 257 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: Sarah can give me one sex? Sarah? What we just 258 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 1: killed our now and wait, what do they say? Is 259 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 1: terminal too now arriving? Terminal threebody goes, everybody just left 260 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:19,560 Speaker 1: the terminals are arriving. I can hear you all my comms, 261 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:20,919 Speaker 1: but I don't know where you are. I'm still at 262 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,320 Speaker 1: the station. I'm still here at the stage. And did 263 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:27,280 Speaker 1: anybody here did you pair up the weird guy with somebody? 264 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:33,160 Speaker 1: I thought I did? Everybody had a partner. Somebody's smart mouth. Okay, 265 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 1: councilor we can jump ahead to where they start suing 266 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 1: each other. That's gonna be seen one. I quite frankly, 267 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 1: I'm so damn happy with the judges's decision. It See 268 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,400 Speaker 1: two comes from Julian who road Hey you guys, first 269 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,640 Speaker 1: time long time like listeners. Your podcast helps me get 270 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 1: through the drudgery of my day jobs. So thank you all. 271 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 1: While I love so many bits and characters, the one 272 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 1: that makes me laugh the hardest is when Greer does 273 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: the ditzy girl breaking down in tears voice. So he 274 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: when screen No, that's the one he wrote, you know 275 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: the one. Oh and thanks for all the fart, diarrhea 276 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 1: and dog come jokes. You're welcome. Well that was a 277 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:30,480 Speaker 1: high coup. Here's the same suggestion. High school marching band 278 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,920 Speaker 1: becomes embroiled in a doping scandal that runs all the 279 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 1: way to the top. Keep up the good work, Julian. Everybody, everybody, 280 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 1: let's bringing to a stop to a star. You'll recognize 281 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: me from the nurses, the nurses out. Are you okay? Yes, 282 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,359 Speaker 1: I'm okay. Are you the nurse? I'm the nurse and 283 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,159 Speaker 1: and we're gonna need to have everybody give a sample 284 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,920 Speaker 1: of your in it. Did you really got a nurse 285 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 1: school and you just ended up in a school? You 286 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,639 Speaker 1: know they have. I have more responsibilities than a lot 287 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,440 Speaker 1: of nurses out there. I have a lot of heay, 288 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 1: I'll give you a sample, open that mouth, give out 289 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:21,040 Speaker 1: band aids. I'm not supposed to make judgments some people. 290 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 1: But the reason I'm here, you're not God? Yeah you God, 291 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, my Lord, my Savior. Three Jesus Christ, my 292 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,480 Speaker 1: Lord and Savior. The Principal sent me down here to 293 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:44,680 Speaker 1: get drug tests. You should be You shouldn't worship a 294 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 1: human being. What do you want our p for? Anyway? 295 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:52,560 Speaker 1: The principle wants you drug tested, drug tested. But the 296 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,480 Speaker 1: music that comes out of this room isn't may rator 297 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,440 Speaker 1: has got broke because I'm on my period. Boom, Well, 298 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,720 Speaker 1: I don't know if you sell that you're a nurse. 299 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,359 Speaker 1: What do you mean you don't know how that works? 300 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,560 Speaker 1: I've not, I've never that's not my expertise. Nurses said 301 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 1: the whole thing. That's how do you know all that? 302 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:15,159 Speaker 1: He's so smart? Man, cups here on the desk, and uh, 303 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 1: I need them all delivered by to the end of 304 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,440 Speaker 1: the day, exace, if you're excused because of out like 305 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:24,000 Speaker 1: slushy what I have slushy p What does that mean? 306 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 1: Like a slurpie because it's frozen or because it's thick 307 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,720 Speaker 1: little bit both? Okay, Well then York's, Mr Principle, I'm 308 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 1: so sorry the my god, the smell of urine is wafting. 309 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,919 Speaker 1: He seems you have a lot of open solo cups 310 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,920 Speaker 1: of urine around your desk. That yeah, solo cups with 311 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 1: a bad idea. I'm just sorry. Kicks them over alright, 312 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 1: Two more for you here you go, thanks elin, Mr Principal. 313 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,000 Speaker 1: I just want you to know, first off of your 314 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,720 Speaker 1: my king here, my god, I love you. I'll have 315 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 1: to die for You'll kill for you, and I Okay, 316 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,119 Speaker 1: Rex back off a little bit. Yeah, I just want 317 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 1: you to know him your I'm your biggest supporter. I'm 318 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: your biggest believer, all right, and I'll do I'll do anything, okay, woman, 319 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 1: to squeeze that you're in out of these kids for you. 320 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 1: I'll do that. I'll do whatever it takes. Okay, there's 321 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 1: no need to squeeze the urine, Yes, sir, some of 322 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,680 Speaker 1: them have slushier urines. Yes, I'll drink that up. I 323 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,560 Speaker 1: don't care. Okay, you don't need to drink it up. Look, 324 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 1: I'm convinced my marching band is on performance enhancing drugs 325 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 1: and interesting and we want to get them one more 326 00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 1: that of course. Look, the marching band in this school 327 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:45,399 Speaker 1: district is the greatest doorway to glorious. That's all right, Earlene. Oh, 328 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,440 Speaker 1: I dropped a solo cup of water. I don't know 329 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:52,120 Speaker 1: which one, just wish? Yeah, who is it? Oh? Hey, 330 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 1: y'all expecting someone an older lady here buying drugs today? 331 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,000 Speaker 1: I mean, how old man? I don't know. Uh, she 332 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:01,440 Speaker 1: looks like the like the school secretary. Is that good 333 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,880 Speaker 1: or bad? That's pretty good? All right? What's your name? 334 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,720 Speaker 1: Le Rock? Do you know Erlein or Hell? Yet let her? 335 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: Is she good? All right? Put hands up, I gotta 336 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 1: patch you down real quick. Okay, call her me lucky. Okay, alright, 337 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,480 Speaker 1: that's weird. Alright, go ahead and see rock. Oh, Rack, 338 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:23,040 Speaker 1: you boys. I love what you did with all the 339 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 1: tiger stuff in here. That was my idea. I love it. 340 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:29,119 Speaker 1: How do you do? I'm doing well? Rack? Before I 341 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 1: break bread on business, I usually share a mozzarella stick. 342 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 1: Here you go. Okay, thank you. You're not a cop. 343 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 1: You're gonna eat that? Were you like a demon shower? Hello? 344 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 1: Marinara Ranch, blue cheese, Ranch, take don take the ranch. 345 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,200 Speaker 1: So what are you looking for? The good stuff? Rock? 346 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 1: You want the ship to make your music, Papa. I 347 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 1: want this ship that makes that musical, Papa. I want 348 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,719 Speaker 1: I want enough for the woodwinds to get fucked up 349 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 1: and enough for the brass to go bit it. Okay, 350 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 1: give me, oh you get wreck. You got that right here? 351 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,399 Speaker 1: It is. It's a small it was zipply. Yeah. But 352 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 1: if you put that in the water supply of whoever, 353 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 1: it's like a gatorade jug or something like that, you 354 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,240 Speaker 1: know what, and then you let all the people drink 355 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 1: the rock. Yeah, you know what. I'm in this for 356 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,159 Speaker 1: I don't give a ship oay, I just give you 357 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:36,080 Speaker 1: about the money. I think that man that man, I'm 358 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,320 Speaker 1: so fucking app right now. Man, that's why you need water. 359 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 1: Where's your geta? It's right here here, alright, alright, line up, 360 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,960 Speaker 1: get there first, because I'm on my period. Lettery and 361 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: littery your blading all wow? Yeah. I was thinking at 362 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: the state at the state finals tomorrow. Yeah, isn't it 363 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: crazy that there are states like what is the speak 364 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,000 Speaker 1: on that speak on speak on the stakes? If we 365 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: all have one God and one say, has he in 366 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 1: all his infinite wisdom divided us in the fifty state 367 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:24,680 Speaker 1: Let's name just the ones that end in avow Florida, Ottaho, Minnesota, Iowa, Everybody, everybody, Virginia. 368 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 1: Stam it, stam it. We know you're on trucks the bitches. 369 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:36,919 Speaker 1: That so good. We found out that you have been 370 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 1: taking performance enhancing drugs and you have twenty four hours 371 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,920 Speaker 1: ticket off those drugs. If I'm a nurse, I brought 372 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 1: the principle in God, bless the principle. That's a right, 373 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 1: that's right, right, hi, children, principal principle here kiss you 374 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:04,119 Speaker 1: want me to kis Okay, I'm just gonna give you 375 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:15,920 Speaker 1: a little right are you crying? Wonderful day? Go ahead, principle. Look, kids, 376 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 1: you've got the big finals State finals tomorrow. Okay, final 377 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 1: state finals. There's been many preliminary state finals. Tomorrow is 378 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 1: the final state finals. But you can't do it on 379 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 1: these p e d s. The snares are gonna be 380 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 1: able to pay it a little faster, and the horns 381 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 1: are going to be able to hit lower and deeper notes. 382 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:41,200 Speaker 1: That's great principle. If I'm a now, we all believe 383 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 1: our Lord and Savior is not you. You take that back, 384 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 1: and frankly, we feel saddened by these accusations in our 385 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:55,119 Speaker 1: own You're now well, I don't know, started off with 386 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,400 Speaker 1: that state discussion you had earlier and made me think 387 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 1: about the bigger picture here. My pupils are doing the 388 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:05,640 Speaker 1: thing where they're eating my eyeballs. That just means you're 389 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 1: in the zone. Principal principle, With all due respect, we 390 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 1: will not stop doing what it is we're doing, which 391 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 1: is just praying. I know that you kids are not 392 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,119 Speaker 1: smart or widely enough to acquire these drugs. I have 393 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 1: reason to believe this goes straight to the top. God, No, 394 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,879 Speaker 1: straight to the top here at the school, I mean, 395 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 1: not me somewhere near the top. What who would that be? 396 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 1: I have no idea. Give me a name. Well, all 397 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:39,919 Speaker 1: I want is a name Jesus Christ, not that Tommy 398 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:51,920 Speaker 1: Florida Principal, Principle, What can we do for you? Tell 399 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 1: me who's giving you the trucks? And welcome to the 400 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: state finals finals for the States. That has been massive 401 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 1: lum around, going all the way to the high school 402 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,399 Speaker 1: high school marching band showcase. And here it is now 403 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,240 Speaker 1: we have high school high school with principal principal coming 404 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:14,560 Speaker 1: off right now, and everyone take a seat. Al Right, guys, 405 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,680 Speaker 1: it's our time. We could do it. We could do it. 406 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,040 Speaker 1: We could do it. We could just bring it in 407 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:23,520 Speaker 1: the katie emotions anthy, I can't perform like this. I 408 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:30,959 Speaker 1: could perform normal. Oh shure, it's getting really heavy. Oh 409 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 1: I'm gonna start praying to the principle. This okay too? 410 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:41,920 Speaker 1: We saw principle, who are in principle? Be that principle? Kids, kids, 411 00:27:42,600 --> 00:28:00,919 Speaker 1: it's eat some brownies, eat them fast milk. But if 412 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 1: we can hear from what sounds like the dressing room, 413 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,560 Speaker 1: the bed is playing. Sadly, that doesn't count for the 414 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: actual competition. M A will be disqualified saying fucking seats. Well, 415 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 1: I guess we'll let you down, Principal Principle. We lost 416 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:22,400 Speaker 1: the state final finals. No, you kids are the best 417 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 1: example of hs HS that I've ever seen. Every dount, 418 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,680 Speaker 1: Yes you, what's your name? Early? We have reason to 419 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 1: believe that you are the one who has been giving 420 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:47,640 Speaker 1: all these children these drugs are Principal, Principle. I love your, principal, Principle, 421 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,600 Speaker 1: and I wanted you to be brought the glory you deserved. 422 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:58,360 Speaker 1: So everyone too Early. It was easy. These bullets are 423 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 1: not real, and these children had been pretending to be shot. Today. 424 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 1: The guy's head is exploded, kid actor, and there was 425 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:10,240 Speaker 1: one good bullet. All right, we caught you. You're going away? 426 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,640 Speaker 1: Who the hell are you? Man? Oh me? You see 427 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 1: we were technical advisors. Holy shit, cops are you talking 428 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 1: to me? The two snare boys were cop cops all 429 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:27,080 Speaker 1: the way time. That's right, I don't even have this accent. 430 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 1: I talked like this, whoa principal, Percipal, have a good day. 431 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: Medicine right away with me, principal, right away with me. 432 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,720 Speaker 1: I love you too. Sorry you had to see this 433 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,080 Speaker 1: in nurse But what about that kiss that I had 434 00:29:54,800 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 1: join us? Sean got a room for three? Correct? That's right, 435 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,920 Speaker 1: just me, the principal, my secretary, and the nurse. Interesting. 436 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 1: You know there's a p B going out on CNN 437 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 1: and all the major news at all points advance placement biology. 438 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 1: I love you. That's funny. Yeah, apparently there was just 439 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,880 Speaker 1: a fucking massacre in a marching band and not done 440 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 1: clean three twelve of you? Okayna be a room, so 441 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 1: he's got to do a whole clean none of that, 442 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:28,520 Speaker 1: and there's not another room. I'm not done there. I'm 443 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,720 Speaker 1: not done clean three. We have to wait a little 444 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 1: bit unless you want to help me clean tree twelve, 445 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 1: which we don't mind bludge. The nurse can do it. 446 00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 1: I don't really like dealing with blood. You're not a nurse. 447 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,000 Speaker 1: I swear to God you're not a nurse. No, no, no, 448 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: I'm a nurse. I just don't feel with blood or 449 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,080 Speaker 1: womanly issues. What like what do you mean like like 450 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 1: a like a like a broken arm on a woman 451 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:55,720 Speaker 1: or someone? Sure? Sure that my son and I are 452 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 1: going to go to three twelve now to try to 453 00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,400 Speaker 1: clean the place, just so you know, they might pass 454 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:01,880 Speaker 1: out and just like sleeping there for a little bit. 455 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:03,640 Speaker 1: So might take a little long time. And let's go 456 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,240 Speaker 1: to three to Can I offer you any complimentary orange 457 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:10,120 Speaker 1: water or maybe some cookies or something like that. Oh 458 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,520 Speaker 1: an orange. We're looking for one of those first caamenger hunt. 459 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 1: No nice. Uh. There are some great restaurants around here. 460 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 1: There's the macaroni Grill. Uh huh, welcome to the macaroni Grill. 461 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:25,480 Speaker 1: How many in your party to though, I'm here? Are 462 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,560 Speaker 1: you three together? Yeah? Yeah, we're three of us. But 463 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,040 Speaker 1: we could do a two tap and then the nurse 464 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 1: could say at the bar, all right, Steve, they're here, okay, 465 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:38,400 Speaker 1: step Scaroni. Listen man, we need you to go out there, 466 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 1: and we need you to keep on falling to the 467 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:46,320 Speaker 1: great We're gonna cookie. You're cook, You're on your cover. 468 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 1: We gotta get bigger. May have great fucking he can 469 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 1: now the time they're here, it's I'm not gonna see. 470 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: Can we just see some bigger macarons? You give me 471 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,840 Speaker 1: a in her grill? The other gay, the last gay? 472 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:08,000 Speaker 1: You're in too deep? Am I Story'm in deep and 473 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 1: not like my dick. So what do we think? A 474 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 1: grilled macaroni? All around her? I share something? What do 475 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:22,040 Speaker 1: you think, nurse? I don't I can hear us from 476 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 1: over there. I'm just gonna have a drink. Okay, something 477 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 1: you need something? What do you want? We're going to 478 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 1: share a grilled macarl large grill macaroni. And that nurse, 479 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,160 Speaker 1: that fake nurse over there, wants to drink? How on 480 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 1: my left, to your left, just to the one behind you. 481 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,080 Speaker 1: With the nurses out there, only one at the bar. Okay, 482 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:56,960 Speaker 1: all right, so what does she want to just to drink? Okay? Men, 483 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,479 Speaker 1: look at the and how do you want that mac 484 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:03,440 Speaker 1: on the coup the rare? What do you think? I 485 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:11,040 Speaker 1: don't know. Well done, practically burnt, practical part of me 486 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:15,680 Speaker 1: just seppy. I gotta take over all. Listen to you too. 487 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:19,800 Speaker 1: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you can 488 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:26,000 Speaker 1: do about it, you can't. He just modulated his voice. 489 00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:32,040 Speaker 1: This is a new Guy's a new guy. You're both 490 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:33,920 Speaker 1: going down. You thought you were gonna have an easy 491 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:40,040 Speaker 1: time of it, just going out for dinner. No, I'm 492 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,160 Speaker 1: not a principal. I outrank you, all right, but we're 493 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,920 Speaker 1: on the same team. I've just changed my voice? Who 494 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:55,040 Speaker 1: United States President Assistance? Early? Is that even your real name? 495 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,480 Speaker 1: Not close? Where's that nurse? Early? Anna? Oh? I gotta 496 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:05,800 Speaker 1: go you. That's who we've been after this whole time. 497 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,880 Speaker 1: That's a cute little gun. Okay, we gotta we gotta 498 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,640 Speaker 1: operate on this nurse. Okay. We're all doctors here. Yeah, okay, 499 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. One of my things I don't do 500 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,399 Speaker 1: right right right world doctors things we do and we don't. 501 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,520 Speaker 1: And the one thing I do not do, I just 502 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,440 Speaker 1: I just don't do surgery. Sorry, I know we have 503 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 1: I can talk through it. I just don't. I do surgery, 504 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:32,960 Speaker 1: but I don't do nurses. Okayology, you give me that. 505 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:38,080 Speaker 1: Put your face in the thing I can't I can't reach. Okay, here, 506 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:53,439 Speaker 1: come back, come three hundred. We lost our holy ship 507 00:34:55,600 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 1: having an angel next lunch brunch, that's into before we 508 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,120 Speaker 1: get to our final scene. Here's an email I wanted 509 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 1: to read. It's from a new patron, Alcolmaniac, the top 510 00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:21,480 Speaker 1: tier twenty dollar supporter. Hi there, I'm a big fan 511 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,280 Speaker 1: of the show, and I just became a Patreon supporter 512 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:25,799 Speaker 1: because that was the least I could do for all 513 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,160 Speaker 1: the funny you guys provide. Anyways, I had a quick question, 514 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:32,360 Speaker 1: is there anywhere specific that I can go to leave 515 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,319 Speaker 1: the show a review? I listened to the show on Spotify. 516 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,440 Speaker 1: I don't use a iPhone, which as far as I 517 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:42,320 Speaker 1: can tell, doesn't have a review section for podcasts. I 518 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,120 Speaker 1: also went to iHeart radio dot com and had no 519 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,880 Speaker 1: luck in finding where to review there. I just love 520 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,880 Speaker 1: the show and want to give you, guys so you 521 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 1: have a massive following that you all deserve. I will 522 00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:57,440 Speaker 1: shout my review from a Semitall hill. That's my favorite part. 523 00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:00,239 Speaker 1: If I have to, please let me know where I 524 00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,280 Speaker 1: can go to write a review immediately, because the guilt 525 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,160 Speaker 1: that James Knee has given me has almost become unbearable. 526 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,480 Speaker 1: Thanks for everything, Kevin Pray do so if he's on Spotify, 527 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,920 Speaker 1: what would you suggest? Well, I don't like I've been 528 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,040 Speaker 1: put a little on the spot Because I read the 529 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,080 Speaker 1: reviews that are aggregated. I believe most of them come 530 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 1: from Apple iTunes. I don't know for sure. I think 531 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:22,919 Speaker 1: you can review through Stitcher. I think you can review 532 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,640 Speaker 1: through munch, but the ones that seem to affect us 533 00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 1: the most are the ones from Apple like it or not, 534 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,040 Speaker 1: but you could do that from us. Like it or not. 535 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:37,000 Speaker 1: I don't like Apple. I'm so sorry, but that is 536 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,840 Speaker 1: right to us. Again at your name here at Alchemy 537 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,799 Speaker 1: this dot com review the show, and then James will 538 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,560 Speaker 1: post it in your name on iTunes if you if 539 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,920 Speaker 1: you're on you don't think, if you're on Spotify, if 540 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,600 Speaker 1: you the little heart liking that, and then just also 541 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,879 Speaker 1: the streams just put it on in the background. That helps. 542 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,120 Speaker 1: That's like a big Spotify thing for us. But also 543 00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,880 Speaker 1: I think you can sign it on any computer into iTunes. 544 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:03,600 Speaker 1: I don't think couple library, Yeah, public library, go for it. Well, 545 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:09,120 Speaker 1: we've given whatever were capable of. Craig, did you have 546 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,920 Speaker 1: a last one? A little follow up? No, I'm good, Okay? 547 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:17,239 Speaker 1: Do you have actual advice that our final scene is 548 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,880 Speaker 1: from Jet who wrote Dear Alchemists. Every morning I listened 549 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,680 Speaker 1: to you on my walk to and from school. I 550 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,040 Speaker 1: often have to stop myself from laughing like a maniac 551 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,399 Speaker 1: has to avoid seeming mad while listening to you. Guys, 552 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 1: all of your voices have unique characters in my head, 553 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:40,320 Speaker 1: except James, whose character always looks like James. My scene 554 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:46,160 Speaker 1: suggestion a child is elected president and establishes his new 555 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:51,239 Speaker 1: government of Kids. Sincerely, Jet G from Australia. I don't 556 00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:53,000 Speaker 1: give a god. It's a fucking kid. I'm not going 557 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:56,719 Speaker 1: to pass this. You are, he is the president. It's 558 00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:01,399 Speaker 1: it's jewel. Respect your president. This is a chocolate milk 559 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,960 Speaker 1: bill and he thinks this is very important. He wants 560 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,800 Speaker 1: to turn all the reservoirs in the chocolate milk pools 561 00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,480 Speaker 1: even possible. That's not even possible to do here. He 562 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:18,560 Speaker 1: comes here, he comes shit attention. How are we coming 563 00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:23,960 Speaker 1: on the chocolate milk bill? Um? We're working very focused group. 564 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,800 Speaker 1: They do you want me goldfish? Yeah? You, Mr President? 565 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:34,920 Speaker 1: If the pretzels? Mr President? Mr President, can you give 566 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,879 Speaker 1: us a minute? Can you back off while I'm talking 567 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:41,120 Speaker 1: to my first mother? Yes, first mother doing my other purse. 568 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:45,400 Speaker 1: I'll go back to your other purse. I will now. 569 00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:49,960 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, okay, here's your problem now, Mr President. 570 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:55,239 Speaker 1: Kid President, kid, I'm not a Mr Kid President. The 571 00:38:55,360 --> 00:39:00,920 Speaker 1: chocolate milk reservoir resolution is not going to work. Okay, President. 572 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,440 Speaker 1: We have bigger problems in Syria than this chocolate mc reservoir. 573 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,680 Speaker 1: Can we talk about Syria for a moment. Place, let's 574 00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:09,040 Speaker 1: table Syria, and I want to get back to this 575 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:13,640 Speaker 1: chalcol about you said table correctly, a kid president. That's good. Okay, 576 00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,600 Speaker 1: don't patronize me. Okay, all right, you're ready for people 577 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:20,520 Speaker 1: to stop patronizing your kid president. Chocolate milk reservoir is 578 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,800 Speaker 1: not a possible thing. You're wasting your time, You're wasting 579 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:28,759 Speaker 1: your money. You're his money, disgrace. I promised my constituents 580 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 1: a chocolate milk reservoir. Okay, he has Let's find a 581 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:36,120 Speaker 1: way to make it happen. Yes, yes, sir, I'm turning 582 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,400 Speaker 1: in this meeting. But the kid president needs a nap. 583 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:42,319 Speaker 1: Three of the kid president needs a nap. I am 584 00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:46,400 Speaker 1: a little cranky. Okay, okay, are you angry or cranky? 585 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:49,440 Speaker 1: I know if I'm hangry, I'll tell you what I'm angry. 586 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,040 Speaker 1: Mr President? Would you like to jump on my back 587 00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:54,239 Speaker 1: or get on my shoulder? Jump on your back before 588 00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,719 Speaker 1: you leave? A kid president? It says here next in 589 00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,840 Speaker 1: the agenda, you want to fire a lot of us 590 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:04,320 Speaker 1: and bring in your friends and pals. Yeah. Sorry, I 591 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,560 Speaker 1: had to find out this with through a memo. Your fire, 592 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:11,360 Speaker 1: your fire, your fire in the bowling alley? Who what 593 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: is I'm no secretary of steak. That's at least my 594 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:18,040 Speaker 1: understanding it. Jimbo, I mean, kid president, what's going on? 595 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,920 Speaker 1: How's that milk bill coming? When do we get our 596 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,879 Speaker 1: chalk milk? When do we get our chalk milk? When 597 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:31,880 Speaker 1: we get this is what's insane your face. The government 598 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:36,080 Speaker 1: was so crumbled and woken and busted that we found 599 00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:38,360 Speaker 1: a loo bole and the kids we joined the government. 600 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,600 Speaker 1: And that's on you in your generation and the boomers too. 601 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,200 Speaker 1: So there's a statute in the constitution. You have to 602 00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:47,120 Speaker 1: be at least thirty statute. There was invisible ink. If 603 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:53,359 Speaker 1: you weird, call some we don't have to rehash the Unfortunately, 604 00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:58,600 Speaker 1: the founding kid founders, the founding kid fathers, that's right, 605 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:02,960 Speaker 1: put invisible in the constitution and we found it stupid 606 00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:07,080 Speaker 1: George Washington's son, no kid person. I understand that the 607 00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,560 Speaker 1: duscia that you've been given us highly sensitive. Now we 608 00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,880 Speaker 1: have our Navy seals and Delta Force on the ground 609 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,880 Speaker 1: right now, you want to switch them out for for 610 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:19,720 Speaker 1: kids seals? Sea? Yeah, I want baby seals, okay because 611 00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:26,319 Speaker 1: they're cute. Yes, we're gonna fight this war with baby seals. Yes, kids, 612 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:29,480 Speaker 1: Presidents just that they have been active for at least 613 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:32,960 Speaker 1: twenty years in war zones. I mean they've been working 614 00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:37,840 Speaker 1: for the company for a long I don't want berry. 615 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:43,560 Speaker 1: I want plane go gurt. Okay, Malcolm, I will try 616 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,120 Speaker 1: to find a plane gogurt. Kay. President, thank you for 617 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,040 Speaker 1: seeing me. I just wanted to go over this um 618 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:54,160 Speaker 1: eco friendly. Do you know what you're talking about. It's 619 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,800 Speaker 1: just we don't think it's smartd to raise a giant 620 00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:00,400 Speaker 1: umbrella over the entire earth to block the sun's race. Okay, 621 00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:02,840 Speaker 1: but who's doing something about climate change? That's what I 622 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,240 Speaker 1: was trying to say the president is you are, Okay, 623 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:09,880 Speaker 1: so I guess another thing. Just give me. Don't know 624 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:11,759 Speaker 1: what it was trying nothing, and so now we're doing 625 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,120 Speaker 1: stuff and you're gonna complain it's just a giant umbrellas. 626 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,160 Speaker 1: Doesn't seem like it's going to help. What does seem 627 00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:18,439 Speaker 1: like it's going to help? Don't ask me. I didn't 628 00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,080 Speaker 1: even know what the word was. We're closing down a 629 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:25,120 Speaker 1: lot of actually this week. Also that's a great step. 630 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,759 Speaker 1: We're going to make them all bouncy houses. Yeah, and 631 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:36,520 Speaker 1: then the Okay, so we're gonna go President keeping you 632 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:42,840 Speaker 1: have I do I mean, that's your security advice. I 633 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:49,040 Speaker 1: want someone to pay for this, I wish. Okay, what 634 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:50,359 Speaker 1: do you want to do because you have an alley. 635 00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,680 Speaker 1: I want this guy here to punch myself in a face. Well, 636 00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,759 Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that. Punch yourself in your face, 637 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,239 Speaker 1: punch your face, punch your face on your face, your 638 00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:08,200 Speaker 1: face out. Oh no, look at just clean. The seals 639 00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,840 Speaker 1: are dieing. What happened to you at work? Nothing? Martha, 640 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,560 Speaker 1: get me a fucking beer. Oh my god, Okay, I'll 641 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,560 Speaker 1: get you a beer. You know you voted for this guy. 642 00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:21,080 Speaker 1: You've fucking voted for him for kid president? Yes, so sweet. 643 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,200 Speaker 1: So his heart's in the right place. I'm missing the tooth. 644 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,600 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you are. I had to pledge myself 645 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:29,520 Speaker 1: in the face today, Martha. You didn't have to do that. 646 00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:34,040 Speaker 1: Listen to me. There's a revolutionary broing. Okay, really, me 647 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,279 Speaker 1: and everyone else who's over the age of eighteen, we're 648 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:44,160 Speaker 1: having tonight. I don't think everybody showing up. No, I 649 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:48,200 Speaker 1: turned night. So I mean, we all know what we're here. Yeah, 650 00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,560 Speaker 1: this kid exactly. We hate fucking kids, all right, hold 651 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:59,240 Speaker 1: like that? Holy shit? Yeah, holy sh it. Yeah, anyway, 652 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,680 Speaker 1: fuck so yeah, we just we don't like this kid, 653 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,360 Speaker 1: right right, and kids in general, yeah right, but we 654 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,759 Speaker 1: want to stay young at hard, so let's we gotta 655 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,040 Speaker 1: do some We gotta some crazy all right? Well, aren't 656 00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:16,560 Speaker 1: there more people? Here? Was a Facebook post last minute? 657 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:22,000 Speaker 1: So how are you still on Facebook? So freaking I 658 00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:23,799 Speaker 1: get them doing like some fun up stuff, but it's 659 00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,200 Speaker 1: a really great way to being president. Just does TikTok 660 00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,120 Speaker 1: and it's working really well for him. So he's working 661 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:31,759 Speaker 1: with the Chinese government, not my president. All right, Now, look, 662 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,359 Speaker 1: we gotta do something. And now, I mean, frankly, their 663 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,360 Speaker 1: armies just a bunch of kids. We could probably just 664 00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:41,719 Speaker 1: tickle them from this disgusting let's perverted. What do you 665 00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:43,759 Speaker 1: mean you want to tickle kids? Do you mean? What's 666 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:47,240 Speaker 1: wrong with you? Okay, here we go a second. A second, 667 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:48,719 Speaker 1: We're not going to just run in there and tickle them. 668 00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,399 Speaker 1: Mean as opposed to, like, you know, inflicting actual harm 669 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,680 Speaker 1: to these kids. I think that the harm is less 670 00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,680 Speaker 1: frightening than you, a grown man suggesting let's go tickle 671 00:44:56,680 --> 00:45:00,200 Speaker 1: all this time? Let me tick you feel I don't 672 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:02,960 Speaker 1: you got wet hands? Man? I can see him from 673 00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:04,840 Speaker 1: here to claim me I have an anxiety issue and 674 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:08,279 Speaker 1: I was wet too, So hey, not like that. Okay, 675 00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:10,439 Speaker 1: all y'all, let's keep it focusing. Okay, we hate kids, 676 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,080 Speaker 1: all right, we hate kids. That's true. That did other 677 00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:19,400 Speaker 1: people leave? Look at this group of snigling cowards at 678 00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:21,759 Speaker 1: the former Secretary of State. I used to be the 679 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:26,360 Speaker 1: Secretary of State, and I've got connections to the former 680 00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:30,120 Speaker 1: Navy seals, connection to the former na the ones that 681 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:38,120 Speaker 1: sing sneveling, sniveling? Is that a word you've seen? Hi, 682 00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:49,120 Speaker 1: primp and maybe nonetheless secretary part of my group? Can 683 00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,200 Speaker 1: they kill the baby steals? No, they're going to kill 684 00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:55,840 Speaker 1: all the kids in the White House. Optics are not 685 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,759 Speaker 1: going to look good at well, I guess tickling isn't 686 00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:01,879 Speaker 1: sounding such a bad idea. Steeds grow, it's weird, it's weird. 687 00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,239 Speaker 1: Can we just, uh, you know, when they're sleeping, put 688 00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:07,080 Speaker 1: bags over the heads. What if you put the time 689 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,080 Speaker 1: put in time out, put him in time out? Can 690 00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:13,640 Speaker 1: we just put him in time out to kill them? 691 00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:14,800 Speaker 1: You should be the one to go in there and 692 00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:18,440 Speaker 1: put the kid president time out? Mama, mind go president? 693 00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,799 Speaker 1: Oh gosh, honey, that's a complicated question because everybody's mad 694 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:25,680 Speaker 1: at me. You know, I feel like that a lot 695 00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:27,840 Speaker 1: of my days too, And honestly, you can just do 696 00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:29,839 Speaker 1: your best every day and trying to make the best 697 00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,800 Speaker 1: decisions I can, I know, babe, and you're doing a 698 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,200 Speaker 1: pretty good job. But you just you're gonna learn every 699 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,440 Speaker 1: day and there's gonna be setbacks and that's okay, that's 700 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:40,560 Speaker 1: part of it. Sorry interrupt the first mom, but we're 701 00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:44,040 Speaker 1: going trying to seduce. Oh of course you are going out. 702 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,240 Speaker 1: I can't talk about this kind of him, I understand, 703 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,919 Speaker 1: But you know, TikTok. Can I have a minute? TikTok? Sure, 704 00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:58,160 Speaker 1: I understand. I think I want to watch videos on TikTok. Now, look, 705 00:46:58,160 --> 00:46:59,719 Speaker 1: we had the first mother sitting at the table in 706 00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,279 Speaker 1: the back left. Okay, this has got to go smooth, right, 707 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,120 Speaker 1: It is a big deal for the uh some fucking 708 00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:10,440 Speaker 1: hot guy guys ripped his shirt, ripping running through the 709 00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,279 Speaker 1: game plan again. All right, we're going to serve them 710 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,920 Speaker 1: steaming mcaroni of course number one. Of course, number two, 711 00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,600 Speaker 1: we're gonna do grilled macaroni a little bit. She's Parmigiano. 712 00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:22,000 Speaker 1: Wait are you for this administration? I am for macaroni? Grill. 713 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,359 Speaker 1: What why do we have them here because they can 714 00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:27,920 Speaker 1: go anywhere? What are you talking about? No? I mean, 715 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,839 Speaker 1: what's the plan? I don't understand the plan. The first mother, 716 00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,640 Speaker 1: she's just she has a reservation. What we are we 717 00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:37,279 Speaker 1: just serving her? I don't want to sun this up, 718 00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:40,360 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Why weren't you listening? Why weren't 719 00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,920 Speaker 1: you listening? I was thinking, what's the thing? I was 720 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:48,359 Speaker 1: thinking about this revolution? That massacre. I don't want any 721 00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,160 Speaker 1: of that talk. You know what, You're a fucking pro macaronist. 722 00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:55,399 Speaker 1: Come on, you're a pearl Macaroni am for business. I'm 723 00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:57,359 Speaker 1: thinking about the stick bab. What are you like? Oh 724 00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:03,680 Speaker 1: my god, You're button is so funny. Sorry, I had 725 00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:11,440 Speaker 1: to President. I think we will have the macaroni baby. Hello. Hi, 726 00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:13,440 Speaker 1: my name is Clark. I am the general manager at 727 00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:14,839 Speaker 1: the macaron I. Don't think you so much with Mr 728 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:18,160 Speaker 1: Kid President. Pleasure to have you in our kid President 729 00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:22,520 Speaker 1: Kid President, Yes, secret service here back up? Yes, yes uh. 730 00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:26,040 Speaker 1: And as we have brought a complimentary steamed macaroni for 731 00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,200 Speaker 1: the table, what do we do with that? You can 732 00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,400 Speaker 1: use you can use your fingers, or or you can 733 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,239 Speaker 1: make a necklace. I brought some string for you can 734 00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,759 Speaker 1: when I use my fingers. Okay, yes, you don't make 735 00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:39,759 Speaker 1: macaroni necklaces with cooked macaroni steam. You can do it 736 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,800 Speaker 1: before you cook the macaroni, when it's hard and hopefully 737 00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,840 Speaker 1: you're making fresh posta. Are you really the general manager 738 00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,680 Speaker 1: at the macaroni guilly? Step back, step back? Yes, the 739 00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:55,040 Speaker 1: general manager. Why used to be the secretary of state 740 00:48:55,280 --> 00:49:00,319 Speaker 1: and this is a cooty today, I think even scuded time. 741 00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:07,400 Speaker 1: This is a I have I have a super everybody, 742 00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,240 Speaker 1: but you put your weapon down. I have a super 743 00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:12,680 Speaker 1: so here full of gross stuff. I am. It's hard 744 00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:20,400 Speaker 1: to gross me out of superki super sokin. It's a 745 00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:23,520 Speaker 1: ex secretary. Dude, what's you do? Man? This is a 746 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:26,360 Speaker 1: COUTI and the first mom we're trying to have a 747 00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,400 Speaker 1: little supper. Why you gotta pitch you because this is 748 00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,520 Speaker 1: the first time I found the president kid president out 749 00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:42,920 Speaker 1: of office and he's never getten back, sir. The tables 750 00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:45,040 Speaker 1: are full. Hey Clark, do you want to step in 751 00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,160 Speaker 1: and do something? Man, Sir, you're going to have to 752 00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:50,560 Speaker 1: see your way out. I'm gonna break this kid's neck. 753 00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:58,759 Speaker 1: I give me that, for give me that. For I'm 754 00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:06,960 Speaker 1: doing something. What is okay? Okay, I don't want to 755 00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:10,399 Speaker 1: be president no more. What I don't want president no more? 756 00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:17,040 Speaker 1: You just started, uh microphone, the people of the United States? 757 00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:20,080 Speaker 1: Are you press secretary? I am I present to you 758 00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:26,480 Speaker 1: the kid president Going up? Honey, there's a step. There's 759 00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:28,560 Speaker 1: a tool. Here you go, ladies and gentlemen in the 760 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:33,800 Speaker 1: United States. Um. I ran for president like mostly like 761 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,879 Speaker 1: as a joke, like I didn't think it was gonna happen. 762 00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:41,080 Speaker 1: Like I was just you know, I just wanted the attention. 763 00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:43,879 Speaker 1: And then O became president and then like I gotta 764 00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:46,319 Speaker 1: make decisions all day and really like hurts my head. 765 00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:51,120 Speaker 1: I feel bad about those baby seals got slaughtered in Syria. Um, 766 00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:59,879 Speaker 1: so I'm not gonna be president anymore? What sure? Question? Question? Kid? 767 00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:06,919 Speaker 1: Stop questions? We take one at a time, the show 768 00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:12,799 Speaker 1: of hands. Your hand, h two questions here one will 769 00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:15,399 Speaker 1: the umbrella stay up? In two? Who will be taking 770 00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:20,319 Speaker 1: your place? Okay? Number one, we did put a giant 771 00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:23,799 Speaker 1: umbrella in space, which is preventing global warming from ever 772 00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:27,560 Speaker 1: happening again. So it's half of the planet they have 773 00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:32,800 Speaker 1: not got any natural sunlight. Okay, Well we'll do with 774 00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:37,680 Speaker 1: that we'll do with that later, okay, and put the 775 00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:42,640 Speaker 1: invisible ink in the constitution. The next president is going 776 00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:50,880 Speaker 1: to be my little sister. What the fund a new president? 777 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:05,200 Speaker 1: That's a show for today, a very special birthday episode. 778 00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:09,560 Speaker 1: Thank you. It's just too much you guys. You make 779 00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,879 Speaker 1: me talk about it over and over. That's our show. 780 00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:14,480 Speaker 1: How many wards did you get from a space just 781 00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:17,040 Speaker 1: that show? How many did that get? Oh gosh, I 782 00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,359 Speaker 1: don't know. We're we keeping track sixteen and two shows 783 00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:28,399 Speaker 1: those are. Let's thank our alchemist and let's the first 784 00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:31,320 Speaker 1: start with the James Heeney. Who, James, You've posted this 785 00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:35,200 Speaker 1: new video on the Patreon uh dot com slash alchemy. 786 00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:38,680 Speaker 1: This of you with some scratchers. Well, I went to 787 00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:41,800 Speaker 1: your birthday party. Well now you're just bragging, yeah, And 788 00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:44,520 Speaker 1: I said that I was bragging. I got invited. There 789 00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:46,800 Speaker 1: was a pumpkin carbon contest and I won first place, 790 00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:52,200 Speaker 1: which won me lottery tickets. And who would have guessed 791 00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,200 Speaker 1: that I was gonna win? But luckily for me, I 792 00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:58,000 Speaker 1: was recording it, and I have proof I won the lottery. 793 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:01,600 Speaker 1: I have not to any money of it, so you 794 00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:04,080 Speaker 1: don't have to worry. It's not disappeared yet, right, so 795 00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:06,560 Speaker 1: if you're patron, you could see the video of me 796 00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:09,799 Speaker 1: scratching off those. Usually when someone wins five or ten 797 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:12,080 Speaker 1: dollars off scratchers, they don't this is more than five 798 00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:14,359 Speaker 1: or ten dollars. They don't say I won the lottery. Yeah, 799 00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:19,320 Speaker 1: it's not five or ten dollars. Okay, hashcash Craig Kakowski 800 00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:22,439 Speaker 1: three twitters to follow at Kakowski c A c ko 801 00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:27,520 Speaker 1: wsk I for just my general life stuff at Craigslist, 802 00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:31,320 Speaker 1: peak cast for podcasting at Orange Tucks, Improv for improv shows. 803 00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:35,040 Speaker 1: All right, thank you so much, pleasure. Vanessa Raglan not 804 00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:39,480 Speaker 1: prepared Dynasty Typewriter Halloween party. By the way, thank you 805 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:42,759 Speaker 1: so great for coming. The tarot card reading was, oh yeah, 806 00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,839 Speaker 1: what did you find out? Phenomenal. I'm surprised you're all 807 00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:52,520 Speaker 1: still here. Ye, So there's a scavenger hunt. Joey had 808 00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:54,719 Speaker 1: a shot. Joey was carrying around a shoe all night, 809 00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:56,680 Speaker 1: and I never understood what he was. A boot swaggler. 810 00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:59,080 Speaker 1: And if you looked into the scavenger hunt, you would 811 00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,399 Speaker 1: have found out why. I mean, you wouldn't have really, 812 00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:04,080 Speaker 1: but it would have said I'm sure it was very 813 00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:10,240 Speaker 1: well rehearsed. Yes, yes, we had winners. We did have winners. 814 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:16,320 Speaker 1: People completed the whole scavenger on They got tickets to 815 00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,920 Speaker 1: Dynasty shows and t shirts and free popcorn through the 816 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,960 Speaker 1: end of the year, which is you know, coming up 817 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:27,239 Speaker 1: on it um and toppings for their popcorn. So it 818 00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:30,080 Speaker 1: was a fun prize. And so folks listening to you 819 00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:33,239 Speaker 1: go to Dynasty typewriter dot com yeah for upcoming shows 820 00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:35,480 Speaker 1: and tickets please. They could probably learn about it from 821 00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:41,479 Speaker 1: New York Times. Thank thank you. New York Times hates 822 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,920 Speaker 1: to write about anything in Los Angeles. You guys got 823 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,279 Speaker 1: a huge article. Yeah, it was crazy and we're so 824 00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,279 Speaker 1: so so grateful, um bonkers, and people were saying the 825 00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:51,600 Speaker 1: things that we would dream of, people saying like having 826 00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:54,320 Speaker 1: artists that we love were just being so nice. So 827 00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:55,920 Speaker 1: it was a dream come true. And I would love 828 00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:58,319 Speaker 1: for anybody when you're in town, come to the theater 829 00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:01,200 Speaker 1: and let me top your popcorn out me people, I'll 830 00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:04,000 Speaker 1: said Chris Alvarado. Yeah. At Chris Alvarado on Instagram. Not 831 00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:06,279 Speaker 1: much going on there, but I did realize that we're 832 00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,360 Speaker 1: doing stuff on their alchemy this Instagram with these like 833 00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:12,480 Speaker 1: office shots and stuff and what's that hashtag menial job 834 00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:15,880 Speaker 1: pick menial job picky. We just got a couple we're 835 00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:17,840 Speaker 1: going to throw up. I love that. I love the 836 00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:21,919 Speaker 1: idea of people tagging us on in their menial job 837 00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:26,160 Speaker 1: pick pictures. We're just alchemy this on Instagram and we 838 00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:29,320 Speaker 1: are doing because of our media guy Danny, more posts 839 00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,239 Speaker 1: than ever and it's really fun. And all our live 840 00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:33,960 Speaker 1: shows are the first Sunday of every month. Uh for 841 00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:38,239 Speaker 1: for at Westie Comedy Theater. Um, Joey Grid, thank you 842 00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:40,919 Speaker 1: so much for being here. Pleasure, I know, but still 843 00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:43,200 Speaker 1: thank you. And thank you for the gifts too for 844 00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:46,560 Speaker 1: my birthday. Well I want them back. Oh interesting, let's 845 00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:51,759 Speaker 1: thank you Engineer of the Stars, Mr duck Bain. And 846 00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:59,160 Speaker 1: I heard media, this media, this media is doing. But 847 00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:03,200 Speaker 1: it came back to I'm Kevin Polic, your host until 848 00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:03,640 Speaker 1: next time.