Speaker 1: M hey, everybody, welcome to hold up. It's a big
Speaker 1: show about not a lot. I'm gonna do one of
Speaker 1: these every episode. I'm just gonna find a way to
Speaker 1: describe it. And I'm your your co host, host co
Speaker 1: host whenever there's two. It does also make it a
Speaker 1: bit of a weird thing. But whenever you do the drops,
Speaker 1: you obviously say that you're the host. So yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but then that's just because you're not there. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'm your host Josh Johnson joined by my co host. Wow,
Speaker 1: the the the downgrade. I I it's it's like a
Speaker 1: pilot copilot situation, right like, because there's some days you're
Speaker 1: gonna be piloting. There's gonna be days where you care
Speaker 1: very much about something that I'm just opposed, but I
Speaker 1: don't care as much. That's a day for you. Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I hear you, I hear you. What's your name? Tell
Speaker 1: the people? I say Sloan. Um could have been Lazaria Sloan,
Speaker 1: but um. There was a very brave woman who did
Speaker 1: my birth certificate who I really just had to put
Speaker 1: her foot down. Um. I'll tell you that story later.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm dul say, Sloan, I'm here. I woke
Speaker 1: up and it is what it is. Baby. Uh. You know,
Speaker 1: the Lord had blessed us to see another day to
Speaker 1: talk about the nonsense that we talked about on this
Speaker 1: here podcast. So we're here. We're here on this audio
Speaker 1: format today not to talk about anything big going on
Speaker 1: the world. We're not talking about climate change, We're not
Speaker 1: not talking about anything serious. We are diametrically opposed. We
Speaker 1: are butting heads. We can't seem to agree on windows
Speaker 1: seat versus iisle seat because you don't want to live
Speaker 1: right I don't want to live right out here, living
Speaker 1: in chaos. Okay, so tell the people what's draw on.
Speaker 1: I am team windows seat, Joshua, where do you land
Speaker 1: on this? I'm team I'll see because we can at
Speaker 1: least both agree that no one in our Christian circle
Speaker 1: would want the middle seat. That that is a life,
Speaker 1: that is that if you love the middle seat, I'll
Speaker 1: go ahead and say it. I don't care who it offends.
Speaker 1: I think you're living foul. Also, I could say it's
Speaker 1: been a good minute since I've been in a situation
Speaker 1: on a plane where there even was a middle seat. Wow. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's that that's one of those things that look that's
Speaker 1: a blessing, look at Jesus. But I would not tell
Speaker 1: everybody that all the time. You know there's haters out here.
Speaker 1: You know that you can't let everyone know how the
Speaker 1: Lord blesses you. What I can tell you but I
Speaker 1: can't tell you, is that first class seats I'm more
Speaker 1: affordable in certain situations than you think they would be.
Speaker 1: But like sometimes like I've gotten like yo, I'm gonna say,
Speaker 1: how the Lord bless me? One time I got a
Speaker 1: lay down seat. I'm talking about flat right, yea Jet
Speaker 1: Blue Delta Delta Okay, New York to San Francisco, round
Speaker 1: trip six dollars. Wow. I don't know how, I don't
Speaker 1: know who, I don't know what glitch happened on delta
Speaker 1: on that good morning. But I needed that seat because
Speaker 1: I got very sick. It's like, remember, got so sick.
Speaker 1: I lost twenty pounds in a month, like well like
Speaker 1: actually in a week, and I was just sick all month.
Speaker 1: And we came back to working and leave again. I
Speaker 1: was so sick. The man next to me put the
Speaker 1: blanket on me, like tucked me in. Then when we landed,
Speaker 1: they didn't make me put my seat up. They just
Speaker 1: let me land flat, And I promise you. I looked
Speaker 1: in the mirror one day and I was like, wait
Speaker 1: a minute, let me just see how much y'all wait,
Speaker 1: And in like seven or ten days, I lost twenty pounds.
Speaker 1: And I called my homegirl and told her I started
Speaker 1: feeling better, and she was like, bitch, come cough in
Speaker 1: my mouth, what are you talking about? Twenty pounds of
Speaker 1: that day, She's like, listen, I had a dude tell
Speaker 1: me to lose the weight. He said, either by sickness
Speaker 1: or by fitness. But we're gonna get this. Look. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you right now that that that thing of not
Speaker 1: even being in the world of middle seats is wild.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been on the Jet Blue flight Mint.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what. I'm gonna tell you what.
Speaker 1: First class is very affordable Jet Blue Mint. They don't
Speaker 1: have it all the time. They don't do what I'm
Speaker 1: every flight. They don't do it on every flight. But
Speaker 1: bro good food. Good food. Also Delta the disrespect. Delta
Speaker 1: does not offer a lay down seat from New York
Speaker 1: to San Diego, just not at all. Delta is okay.
Speaker 1: So sometimes I'm in Atlanta, and sometimes when I get
Speaker 1: to that airport, I'm like, y'all really must be feeling
Speaker 1: yourselves because because the fact that you close, so do
Speaker 1: you have clear? Of course I have clear. If you're
Speaker 1: a person who travels like what I mean, comics who
Speaker 1: travel a lot, who don't have clearer pre check, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't have eighty dollars. This is my
Speaker 1: thing about pre check. This is my thing about like
Speaker 1: that stuff is wild. This is proof. This is like,
Speaker 1: you know, American American flaws at their finest, because everything
Speaker 1: that we do around pre check is proof we really
Speaker 1: don't need to be doing this stuff at all, because
Speaker 1: you mean that for an extra eighty dollars, I couldn't
Speaker 1: possibly be a terrorist or a driver's license. They take
Speaker 1: all of your fingerprints mm hmm. When I went to
Speaker 1: my pre check interview, they took all my finger prints
Speaker 1: and it asked me like a few questions. I was
Speaker 1: in the car longer than they interviewed me. I will
Speaker 1: tell you right now that when they did I don't
Speaker 1: care if you're clear pre check anything. When they take
Speaker 1: all your fingerprints, where they do all this background check whatever,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean I'm not gonna be crazy like that's yeah,
Speaker 1: That's that's my thing with this whole thing where I'm like,
Speaker 1: you did all this background stuff. Yeah, that just means
Speaker 1: a person hasn't done anything yet. But but also when
Speaker 1: you look at this is the sact. I think they
Speaker 1: probably look into certain people more then they look at
Speaker 1: the other people. Like if I come walking in to
Speaker 1: get my pre check there, like she ain't gonna do nothing.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna they know, like when in a history
Speaker 1: of life have you seen any black woman do any
Speaker 1: fucking thing. When I walked in, they were like, bro,
Speaker 1: just just take her. I was. I was literally like
Speaker 1: I was done. I just would that's it. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've only seen black women blow shut up as a
Speaker 1: matter of speech. It's always in theory, right, it's always
Speaker 1: like I'm hurting everybody's I'm gonna light this bitch up,
Speaker 1: as in I'm taking back back back, I'm taking shots
Speaker 1: at everybody in the room verbally. But it's like we're
Speaker 1: not doing terrorism. The just just so that we at
Speaker 1: any point in the podcast actually cover the topic. I
Speaker 1: want to hear. I want to hear your thoughts and
Speaker 1: feelings on the window seat and why you think it's superior. Okay,
Speaker 1: I will start with this because I know this is
Speaker 1: going to be your point, right, so I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: you this. Oh okay, wow for you even say I
Speaker 1: already know your fault. Okay, go ahead, go ahead. I
Speaker 1: know you're going to say now the only cause you know,
Speaker 1: usually I start with it's kind of like, give me
Speaker 1: the bad news first. The only hiccup to a window
Speaker 1: seat is that you have to ask an adult to
Speaker 1: let you pee. That is, but I can't tell you.
Speaker 1: There are a few airlines. First of all, you're in
Speaker 1: Alaska Airlines flight and you're sitting in the very first row. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's enough seat, There's enough space for you to get
Speaker 1: around the other person. If you're on uh Hawaiian air
Speaker 1: the way they're laid down seats are set up is
Speaker 1: there is more than adequate space to get up and
Speaker 1: go to the restroom without even waking the other person
Speaker 1: up or making them even have to set up Delta.
Speaker 1: On the other hand, put you in fucking like isolation
Speaker 1: tube cubbies. So that's why if you ever I was
Speaker 1: asking you, if you've ever been on those mint flights,
Speaker 1: the one where you're in the where it's just you
Speaker 1: in the road, just you fire. Yes, there's that, and
Speaker 1: I think Delta might do it, because you know the
Speaker 1: some of some flights there's like first class and then
Speaker 1: there's business class, m if something. Usually it's for a job,
Speaker 1: because I'm not paying that money to be in the sky. Like,
Speaker 1: I have my limits. I have my limits, and sometimes
Speaker 1: you're just like how many facts, bitch, Like there's sometimes
Speaker 1: there's just too much money, right, But that's the only
Speaker 1: downfall of the window seat where you have to be
Speaker 1: like you either have to coordinate it or like you
Speaker 1: either have to ask the other person. Because that's why
Speaker 1: I got to a point where I we'll just fucking hibernate.
Speaker 1: I get on the plane, I eat my food, and
Speaker 1: I am jon Zo and so I don't have to
Speaker 1: pee into like it off the plane. Yeah, it's only
Speaker 1: recently where I'm being like, you know what, maybe I
Speaker 1: should be because because I can say something just being
Speaker 1: about a plane room, just like I'm gonna find I'm out,
Speaker 1: I'm done. So I'm sucking hibernating. It's because I don't
Speaker 1: want to wake up the other person. Also, if you
Speaker 1: were the asshole that gets upset when the person in
Speaker 1: the window seats, actually, fuck you. You cannot be upset
Speaker 1: when the person in the window seat is like, hey,
Speaker 1: I need to go to the bathroom because I had
Speaker 1: a guy go or you're getting up. I was like,
Speaker 1: bro oh, I know the wildest thing that ever happened.
Speaker 1: I was gonna plane. I'm in the window seat. There
Speaker 1: is this man in the middle who is translucent right
Speaker 1: what he's very old, white man. I don't know if
Speaker 1: he got any work done or whatever, but he looked
Speaker 1: like a fucking like one of those fish that lives
Speaker 1: in the parts of the ocean where that there's no light.
Speaker 1: So he had this crazy like clear you can see
Speaker 1: like all the veins in it. Says it was nuts.
Speaker 1: And then he had like this tu pay that looked
Speaker 1: like it was just like kind of melted. And then
Speaker 1: there was a person that he was with, this other
Speaker 1: guy that was with him. I don't know if he
Speaker 1: was his whoever, a friend or whatever, chaperone handler, I
Speaker 1: don't know. And so he's sitting in the row in
Speaker 1: front of us in the window. So I'm at the
Speaker 1: window see through white man in the middle, Asian guy
Speaker 1: on the end right. So we're sitting there and he's
Speaker 1: just like doing too much right, He's keep he keeps
Speaker 1: hopping up, started talking to the person his friend in
Speaker 1: the row in front of us, and he's like bumping
Speaker 1: in us as he's doing it. I'm like okay. And
Speaker 1: then they come by and give you like the little
Speaker 1: snack box or whatever. And then when he's done with
Speaker 1: his food, he puts his trash on the Asian dude's tray.
Speaker 1: So he's like, I'm done and then he just moves
Speaker 1: his stuff and me and I at you do look
Speaker 1: at each other like you know, what the fuck? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So I had the window open the take off, and
Speaker 1: then when we're gonna ready the land, I left the
Speaker 1: window closed and he went to reach across me. He's like,
Speaker 1: can you open the window. I was like no, and
Speaker 1: then he went to reach across me and I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: you better not reach across me to open this window.
Speaker 1: And he's like, I want to see that as then
Speaker 1: you should have gotten a window seat. You won't be
Speaker 1: watching it today. He went to reach across me. I went, sir,
Speaker 1: he was read ridiculous. Also, I've never seen this on
Speaker 1: the second time in my life. Paid where the hair
Speaker 1: looked melted. It was a part two paid part hair plugs.
Speaker 1: There was a lot going on with this man. And
Speaker 1: so this person was a middle seat, right, yes, acting
Speaker 1: fucking wild. So like, yeah, we've already established that the
Speaker 1: middle seat comes with a different energy, right he knew,
Speaker 1: But all it's like your friend was in the window,
Speaker 1: your friend and twist seats with you. You You knew that
Speaker 1: you were acting wild. So like, that's the other thing
Speaker 1: about being in the window. If you're in a window
Speaker 1: seat on a three row, in a three seater row,
Speaker 1: you have to acknowledge you might not asking two people
Speaker 1: to get up to pee. That's hard. So the secret
Speaker 1: is you wait till the person in the middle gets
Speaker 1: up to pee or the person on the aisle gets
Speaker 1: up to pe. Because that's what I do when I'm
Speaker 1: on planes now. It's when the person on the aisle
Speaker 1: gets up to p then I'm like, okay, I'll get
Speaker 1: up there because I'm not interrupting you. Because you got up,
Speaker 1: I get you. So this this is my thing. When
Speaker 1: when I choose an aisle seat, I'm I'm thinking ahead.
Speaker 1: I'm planning, all right, I'm putting, I'm putting something together.
Speaker 1: I'm planning the entire experience because yeah, I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to get up sometimes when people need to pee. I
Speaker 1: understand that. But also I got first access to the snacks.
Speaker 1: I got first access to the safety. Y'all, window seats
Speaker 1: are dead if things go a ride on this flight.
Speaker 1: But but you have first access. I hear you. But
Speaker 1: I've sat in that cart running into me over and over.
Speaker 1: It is that cart bumping into me. People. But I
Speaker 1: don't like people bumping into me. It is the bank
Speaker 1: of my existence. Like people bumping into me. When you
Speaker 1: are in the aisle c there's a lot of people
Speaker 1: in your personal space. Okay, someone's reaching over you to
Speaker 1: give one or two other people's necks, one or two
Speaker 1: other people a tray of food when they're asking somebody
Speaker 1: what they want to drink. There now they're leaning over you. Right,
Speaker 1: we'll talk to one or two other people. You and
Speaker 1: the flight attendant might as well be making out for
Speaker 1: the amount of times this person is about to be
Speaker 1: in your personal space in a tube in the fucking sky.
Speaker 1: It's too much. That's why I don't do i'le because
Speaker 1: it's an invasion of my personal space. On a regular basis,
Speaker 1: Somebody going to the back, like the number of times
Speaker 1: I've been good in sleep and somebody just the number
Speaker 1: I bumped into. Plenty of people in an aisle c
Speaker 1: just coming back and forth from their arm is on
Speaker 1: the arm rest at right. You are trying to avoid
Speaker 1: one arm. Boom, you hit another arm. It's like a
Speaker 1: fucking it's I'm pinballing my hips down the fucking aisle.
Speaker 1: And if your arm is out or your legs too
Speaker 1: far out, it's like, I'm you're getting touched. Let's go
Speaker 1: over a couple of etiquette things, just in general, so
Speaker 1: we can make sure we're on the same page as
Speaker 1: we decide if window or aisle is better. Okay, now,
Speaker 1: whenn't you and this is a different time in your life,
Speaker 1: I understand, but I'm asking you to go there when
Speaker 1: you in the past had to be in a middle seat,
Speaker 1: so it wasn't often because the thing is, they'll see
Speaker 1: middle seats only happen if you don't plan a hit.
Speaker 1: I know I don't. I was asking you to go
Speaker 1: to that place. I'm not saying you're gonna go back.
Speaker 1: I feel like as soon as I brought it off,
Speaker 1: you were like, don't put that evil on babe. Don't
Speaker 1: you put that evil on me? Ricket Bobby, And so
Speaker 1: all I'm saying is, do you subscribe whether you're in
Speaker 1: the window or aisle, that the arm rests goes to
Speaker 1: the middle seat. I think the armrests goes to the
Speaker 1: middle seat because the aisle has an armrest, the window
Speaker 1: has the whole side of the plane. They have the
Speaker 1: majesty of flight, the majesty in flights. They've got a
Speaker 1: window to look out of. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I think the arm rests should go to the
Speaker 1: middle seat. I have been in the elbow competition with
Speaker 1: someone when I was in the middle seat, and I
Speaker 1: thought the respectful. I also have been on planes where
Speaker 1: because you know, when you start doing colleges, the planes
Speaker 1: get staller, smaller, like like Russian stacking dolls. So I've
Speaker 1: been on the plane. I can I can tell you
Speaker 1: I was gonna plane one time and there was this
Speaker 1: very like just muscularned man. This is huge man. He
Speaker 1: sat down after I sat down, and I just spent
Speaker 1: the whole flight just behind his shoulder, like that's where
Speaker 1: I wanted to just this is where I live now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: me and this man go together because there was nowhere.
Speaker 1: There was nowhere question. We're a couple. For the next
Speaker 1: two hours, me and this man go together and he
Speaker 1: would ask me, and I was very much like that,
Speaker 1: you know, I was like, no, I'm good, I'm okay.
Speaker 1: They're like, you can't do anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But
Speaker 1: when it came to that armrest, when it came that armrest,
Speaker 1: I lit homeboy have it. And I let homeboy have
Speaker 1: it because I had whole fucking shoulder. That's why I
Speaker 1: let him have it. If you are just out here,
Speaker 1: just your body, just on people. Yeah, we go together
Speaker 1: like truly until this blain lands. I am your wife.
Speaker 1: You didn't you didn't say it this way. But I
Speaker 1: can tell that this man was good looking because just
Speaker 1: the way that because you were like, no, anytime, anytime
Speaker 1: you get that quiet, I know, I know you're like
Speaker 1: feeling somebody anytime. No, no, it's all right, it's like no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you know, it's like quiet, a little bit of shake
Speaker 1: to it too. I got sucking cap and Jane Katherine
Speaker 1: hepburn but no, but I I've been on flights where
Speaker 1: also this man got so mad at me. I was
Speaker 1: the windows. See, he was in the aisle this is
Speaker 1: I was. I was on the United flight and I
Speaker 1: was just like, oh, the middle class is dying because
Speaker 1: first class was full. Because there was three sexuals on
Speaker 1: this plane. Right, it was first class, I guess there
Speaker 1: was a middle business class area. And then there was economy, right,
Speaker 1: first class fucking jam packed. Economy full of ship. There
Speaker 1: were forty seats in the middle that had five six
Speaker 1: people in them, and I was like, what the fund
Speaker 1: is happening on this plate. They couldn't push any of
Speaker 1: the people from economy uppere because when you look back
Speaker 1: at Economy, I swear there were sirens. It was a
Speaker 1: fucking greyhound bus back there. Somebody had a bird like
Speaker 1: it was like a while back there, and there was
Speaker 1: curtains and I was like, I've never seen a curtain
Speaker 1: on this part. But this man sits down next to me.
Speaker 1: He you didn't have a little brother, so you don't
Speaker 1: what a little brother like. You know how teenage boys
Speaker 1: smell where it's just that like funk, you are a
Speaker 1: teenage boys, you probably don't smell it. There's a slight funk.
Speaker 1: There's a very specific funk to a teenage boy that
Speaker 1: unless you had like a brother, you don't know what
Speaker 1: it is in A forty year old man sat next
Speaker 1: to me, smelling like a thirteen year old boy who
Speaker 1: just out of the pe class and he was doing, Man,
Speaker 1: you the plane and not left anywhere. Also, he came
Speaker 1: and sat down next to me, which I get it,
Speaker 1: because there's a whole section fucking you don't know where
Speaker 1: these people are. Right when we're getting at the boarding groups.
Speaker 1: You don't know these people don't fill up the plane.
Speaker 1: He sits down immediately, man spreads arms out, So now
Speaker 1: we're going for the fucking jockey. And because he's had
Speaker 1: completely fucking obnoxious right bumping it, knocking my arm off
Speaker 1: the armrest, I was like, oh, this is what we're doing, bitch,
Speaker 1: let me explain something to you. I started doing the
Speaker 1: exact same thing. I'm spreading my arms out, getting my
Speaker 1: chest white. Sorry, I have titnies. I need space right,
Speaker 1: getting my chest wide. Our man spreading, pushing him his
Speaker 1: arm off the armrest. But you want to go, let's
Speaker 1: go right. The plane has not taken off yet. He
Speaker 1: goes and complains to the flight attendant, and then she
Speaker 1: looked at me and then looked at him, and I
Speaker 1: just saw her go get another seat, just said somewhere else,
Speaker 1: and then afterwards she was like, what the hell. I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know. It was the wildest thing
Speaker 1: to me I've had. Dude, the middle seats go to
Speaker 1: man spread, but he's there's me on one side and
Speaker 1: then another man on the other side. So now they're
Speaker 1: just trying to man spread on the right. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you can't just man spread on the right. That's not
Speaker 1: how this works. You spread and you spreading now, so
Speaker 1: you go to spread, I'm spreading like we all bitch
Speaker 1: with creamy cheese out here. Everybody gets spread. Were peanut
Speaker 1: butter at but fucking country crop. I don't care everybody
Speaker 1: getting spread. Right, So they're that thing. You're in the
Speaker 1: middle seat, keep your fucking we're giving you the arm rest,
Speaker 1: but act right. Also, we're already this is already the
Speaker 1: least amount of space that a human being can be in.
Speaker 1: They have calculated it. Okay, they've made sure what's the
Speaker 1: most reasonable amount of space to put a human being
Speaker 1: in and then not started fucking riot. Yeah yeah, because yeah,
Speaker 1: exactly exactly, what's the smallest amount of space we can
Speaker 1: put these people in before they kill each other? I
Speaker 1: guess my thing is I've been in the middle seat before,
Speaker 1: and this is actually think wow, how dare you? But
Speaker 1: you have though? How in the absolute of daredevil this
Speaker 1: do you? How they dare you? That? What you're trying
Speaker 1: to say, I already asked it to I asked it.
Speaker 1: Don't even re ask me what I was asking you.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, yeah, I have had a middle thief lifestyle before. Okay,
Speaker 1: and I do this thing. I actually think it's courteous.
Speaker 1: I don't know if people like it or not. I
Speaker 1: only had to go arrive maybe twice. I'm a pretty
Speaker 1: nimble dude, and sometimes the person in the aisle seat
Speaker 1: is pretty little, right, So rather than wake them up,
Speaker 1: sometimes I'll just stand up in my seat, I'll put
Speaker 1: a foot on my seat and I'll step over them.
Speaker 1: I'll just like step right. I don't even wake them up.
Speaker 1: I just step over them into the aisle and I
Speaker 1: go about my way, use the bathroom, come back, step
Speaker 1: over them again, and then sit down and they don't
Speaker 1: even wake up. So you either put your ass or
Speaker 1: your crotch in a slip in a person's first They've
Speaker 1: only woken up twice now, both times where the person
Speaker 1: was waking up your crotch in a face, and they
Speaker 1: they did, They did have quite a reaction. But as soon,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, you let me tell all these wild
Speaker 1: ass stories, and you did not tell me that you
Speaker 1: were sneak putting your man parts and people faces, and
Speaker 1: you were making people wake up from dreamland while the
Speaker 1: thirty five thousand feet in the sky to your whole
Speaker 1: the last and they all face and they American face.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Wow, it's gone well enough times that to me,
Speaker 1: to wake them up felt ruder than just stepping over.
Speaker 1: You thought it was ruder to wake them up and
Speaker 1: to put your ass in somebody's face. You don't know
Speaker 1: how hard it is for some people to fall asleep.
Speaker 1: I don't know these people, but how but what if
Speaker 1: the person in front of them, If the seat is reclined,
Speaker 1: you've already got a seat also, can we say that?
Speaker 1: I don't think every seat reclines the same because on
Speaker 1: some planes where you were crying and it's just to
Speaker 1: just to slip two inches, and in other seats where
Speaker 1: I'm just like I can see this man's forehead. Yeah,
Speaker 1: some far back, some reclined so much that you know,
Speaker 1: they're broken. Yes, right, I'm just like when I got
Speaker 1: to recline in, the person behind me got like when
Speaker 1: you see that domino effect of sleep reclined because it's
Speaker 1: like you didn't recline because you wanted to. It was
Speaker 1: just like it's forty times fifty times behind you. I'm
Speaker 1: with you. I'm just saying I've done that because in
Speaker 1: my mind it was it was easier for me. I
Speaker 1: didn't mind the step over there for you. Not You
Speaker 1: weren't thinking about the trauma. No, no, no, I was.
Speaker 1: Because here's the thing. I have friends and I have
Speaker 1: family who do not sleep while on planes. So when
Speaker 1: someone falls asleep on a plane, I don't take it lightly.
Speaker 1: I don't just assume they could fall right back to sleep.
Speaker 1: But they also have to stay awake. They have to
Speaker 1: stay awake until I get back or else I'm just
Speaker 1: waking one time, one time, my kid, this is wild.
Speaker 1: I can't believe this. This person was clearly living uh
Speaker 1: a very fast lifestyle. Because I was in the middle seat,
Speaker 1: they were in the aisle. I had to wake them
Speaker 1: up to get them up to to get out, and
Speaker 1: then when I came back, I was on I only
Speaker 1: went to pee. When I came back, they were sleeping
Speaker 1: harder than they were before this time. Their mouth was
Speaker 1: open everything, and I had to get them up again.
Speaker 1: And I was like, let me, just if I had
Speaker 1: just stepped over this person, they clearly wouldn't have caught it,
Speaker 1: because it took a couple of shakes to wake him
Speaker 1: up again. You know, I was on a plane before
Speaker 1: and the pilot comes on and goes Also, I love
Speaker 1: the pilot. I love I love a good pilot voice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's there's some great pilot voices out there that put
Speaker 1: you at ease. There's something that put you on edge,
Speaker 1: right Yeah. Any time you hear like, I'll tell you
Speaker 1: right now, if I hear a pilot voice that sounds
Speaker 1: too familiar to me, I'm already nervous. Means too familiar.
Speaker 1: Like if if the pilot sounds too laid back, it doesn't.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't seem professional to me. I had a
Speaker 1: pilot on a flight one time, get get ready to
Speaker 1: get on the on the mic. So he had an
Speaker 1: announcement to make, but he clicked it on too early
Speaker 1: and we all heard him burp. And that doesn't sound
Speaker 1: like somebody who can fly. Because the man burp Josh,
Speaker 1: because tell me, Okay, so I understand that you live
Speaker 1: a different life where you're brave and you and you
Speaker 1: enjoy things, and so I'm just saying I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: still black. I'm saying if I'm on a flight and
Speaker 1: I hear the pilot get off, so we're gonna be
Speaker 1: flying today over it, like no, no, it just makes
Speaker 1: me feel like that the cockpit is sticky. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: this makes me have no confidence. If you burt before
Speaker 1: you start talking and like this supposed to be a professional,
Speaker 1: it just makes me I'm not saying that I'm brave.
Speaker 1: I'm just like there's just certain things I can't be
Speaker 1: afraid of, right because it's like there's a lot of
Speaker 1: things that you know, black people don't do. That's why
Speaker 1: we have a whole piece on the show called we
Speaker 1: don't do that because we don't do a lot of
Speaker 1: ship um. But if I hear him burt when he
Speaker 1: comes on first, all just makes me think he's a
Speaker 1: disgusting him and being um because talking about hard burp too,
Speaker 1: We're not talking about a little gulp. We're talking about
Speaker 1: he big beer like Homer simpthing like man burp, like
Speaker 1: maybe he just finished lunch. I've never even sir, you
Speaker 1: knew it was coming. You've never been tricked by a
Speaker 1: people like like I've had like you've got been tricked
Speaker 1: by a burt. But it's like it's it just makes
Speaker 1: me feel like the cockpit is sticky. I don't know how.
Speaker 1: It doesn't say being about his ability to land this plane.
Speaker 1: It just makes me feel like the cockpit is sticky.
Speaker 1: The altemperature might be you know, it might have like food,
Speaker 1: like a food. It makes me like there's food rappers.
Speaker 1: It gives me car energy, That's what it is. It's
Speaker 1: like that makes me feel like I'm open, like there's
Speaker 1: some cans on the floor right because it's like I'll
Speaker 1: have stuff in my car like ever many people call
Speaker 1: the just like completely filtering. I'm like this moves that
Speaker 1: stuff and I'm like, you shouldn't even ask me to
Speaker 1: get in here. My shoes are gonna get dirty getting
Speaker 1: in this car. And I don't respect this at all,
Speaker 1: Like it's ridiculous. I have a sandals on my feet sticky,
Speaker 1: how dare you? Sir? I do love the Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: this is a this is your part, Like that voice
Speaker 1: I love that. It always puts you in the mind
Speaker 1: of like your like the newscaster voice, Hi, this is
Speaker 1: like that one of like the disc jockey voice, like
Speaker 1: the very specific like record. But I did have a
Speaker 1: pilot say that, like he called the plane like the
Speaker 1: Star Chick Enterprise, which made some people grown, but I
Speaker 1: thought it was so adorable. And then he was talking
Speaker 1: about how we, uh, we were gonna be flying at
Speaker 1: like the speed of sound, and I just went, I
Speaker 1: didn't need that. Did you know you're going that at all? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Going very fast. I mean I had a pilot a
Speaker 1: tip that was hitting us with too many ums, and
Speaker 1: I was like, do you are you sure? You acted
Speaker 1: like you're not sure. You're like, you're not sure where
Speaker 1: we're going, You're not sure how high we're getting. That
Speaker 1: man was hitting us with multiple ms in every sentence, so, um,
Speaker 1: we're welcome to the Uh. Yeah, it sounded like it
Speaker 1: sounds like he was supposed to be. I understand that
Speaker 1: that's a nervous take that people have, but you have
Speaker 1: to understand what you're when you're on the plane, and
Speaker 1: he this is the boss of the plane. So if
Speaker 1: you're nervous, were nervous Okay, Like if you get if
Speaker 1: you get on the bike in your played and you're like,
Speaker 1: welcome to um delta, It's like, that doesn't even sound
Speaker 1: like you supposed to be flying today. I hear you.
Speaker 1: I think what's even more upsetting is what they make
Speaker 1: the announcement. You can't understand what they're saying at all, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because that means that if it's an emergency, well just
Speaker 1: sit here. Yeah here, it's you hear ladies and gentlemen. Right,
Speaker 1: it's welcome ladies and John. And I'm like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I had to hear what he's saying. I know this
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with the seats, but I hate
Speaker 1: when they tell me the temperature is gonna be because
Speaker 1: I already packed like like this, there's nothing I could
Speaker 1: do now. So when you're like you're like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be flying into San Francisco it's actually be a chilly
Speaker 1: sixty five today, I'm like, all right, well then I've
Speaker 1: already made a mistake. But also, you should have checked
Speaker 1: the weather before you pack. If you didn't check the
Speaker 1: weather before you pack, you sure. I'm not blaming him,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I hate what it happens. Because there's
Speaker 1: nothing I can do about it. You know, I don't
Speaker 1: think I knew how judgmental you were, Joshua over very
Speaker 1: specific things when it comes to pilots. Yeah, when I'm
Speaker 1: on a plank, because I don't have a fear of flying,
Speaker 1: but I could grow one. I could grow on really easy.
Speaker 1: And what someone gets on the mic and they're just
Speaker 1: over here, um and and none. It sounds like they're
Speaker 1: stealing this play, is what it sounds like. I understand
Speaker 1: the place and the beauty of a window seat. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to completely undercut your point. I'm just saying
Speaker 1: depends on when you're flying if the window seats even useful.
Speaker 1: Because if you're flying in a red eye, if you're
Speaker 1: flying where you're going somewhere where it's gonna be night
Speaker 1: very soon, that window seat is about to be nil
Speaker 1: and void, it's just gonna be dark. You're just gonna
Speaker 1: be dark. No, if you're flying over land, okay, the
Speaker 1: window seat is not useless because you're going to see
Speaker 1: cities a light a lit up at night. Okay, the
Speaker 1: very interesting, like flying into a city at night. It's like,
Speaker 1: especially you're flying like into l A at night, it's
Speaker 1: like desert, desert, desert, Like it's weird. You see the
Speaker 1: line of desert desert traffic city, right, and so it's
Speaker 1: so funny because like you see the line where they're like,
Speaker 1: we just went the lights are gonna stop here here,
Speaker 1: the lights are gonna right, We're not putting no more no.
Speaker 1: If you don't live right here, you get no stores. Right,
Speaker 1: So you can see a lot now if you're like,
Speaker 1: I've flown to Melbourne. So I did a fourteen hour
Speaker 1: flight when I wanted to do the Melbourne Melbourne what
Speaker 1: was it Melbourne Festival? I want to say Frank Festival.
Speaker 1: It was. I went from New York to l A,
Speaker 1: which was five hours, and then l A to Melbourne,
Speaker 1: which was fourteen hours in a window seat. Okay, but
Speaker 1: to your point, it was over water and the flight
Speaker 1: was at nine pm. I landed at five. I'm completely lost.
Speaker 1: Saturday left on a Friday, landing on a Sunday. Gone,
Speaker 1: but when I came back it was Tuesday. For thirty
Speaker 1: six hours. But anyway, plane takes off the entertainment on
Speaker 1: the plane it's not working, the WiFi is not working,
Speaker 1: the TV is not working. And then then to make
Speaker 1: matchs worse, the overhead light was connected to the entertainment,
Speaker 1: so you couldn't just reach up and turn the light on.
Speaker 1: So even if you brought a fucking book, when they
Speaker 1: were rebooting and rebooting and rebooting, you couldn't turn the
Speaker 1: overhead light on. Then even if you had something you
Speaker 1: could watch on an iPad or a tablet or something,
Speaker 1: because they kept rebooting it the power was surging, so
Speaker 1: you couldn't even charge your fucking phone. Fourteen hours at night,
Speaker 1: no TV, no I five, no over. They fed us
Speaker 1: and cut all the fucking lights off. They're like, go
Speaker 1: to bed. Good, I'll tell right now. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: right now. Then that thing what you described is a
Speaker 1: caveat where Yes, if you're if you're in the window
Speaker 1: seat at night and you're passing over land, great good
Speaker 1: on you. You see some dots on the ground, you
Speaker 1: see some dots in the sky, But if you were
Speaker 1: going over water, you might as well be staring at
Speaker 1: an iPhone that is off. But the good part for
Speaker 1: me is that the moon was on my side of
Speaker 1: the plane. So I was watching the world's first movie,
Speaker 1: which was The Moon on Water. Was what all I
Speaker 1: had to watch until my battery on my phone got
Speaker 1: low and I had to wait until I was able
Speaker 1: to charge it eventually, But the people sitting on the
Speaker 1: other side of the plane with no moon, darkness darkness,
Speaker 1: had nothing, And eventually they end up giving people like
Speaker 1: two or fifty dollar vouchers. This is had a stack
Speaker 1: of them, like fucking test papers, like a teacher with
Speaker 1: test papers, and we're just like hair hair here, don't
Speaker 1: we don't want to hear hair hair here. I think
Speaker 1: what has happened here is that we have not determined
Speaker 1: which one is good or bad. No, we really have
Speaker 1: it at all. So we're just gonna have to throw
Speaker 1: this one to you, the listener. This is probably the
Speaker 1: most off topic around about episode that we've had. We
Speaker 1: we talked about planes the entire time. We definitely talked
Speaker 1: about airports and planes. We talked about everything that encompasses
Speaker 1: being one, all the whole plane experience, right because going
Speaker 1: through the non because think about it, it's hectic getting
Speaker 1: to the airport, then it's hectic getting through the airport,
Speaker 1: then it's hectic getting on the fucking plane, and then
Speaker 1: I'm gonna spend the whole flight getting bumped into fuck
Speaker 1: that I pick a window seat, because I've already been
Speaker 1: through the fucking gauntlet of nonsense that is being in
Speaker 1: an airport. But what you have to have ver looked
Speaker 1: at the website seat guru dot com. No, okay, by
Speaker 1: the bane of my existence is getting to the window seat,
Speaker 1: and you end up where the seam is right, so
Speaker 1: you don't have the window. You're in that part in
Speaker 1: between the windows. And one time it kept happening to me,
Speaker 1: to the point that the last time it happened to me,
Speaker 1: I was just in tears. I was so mad because
Speaker 1: you can't because one there's a window too, you can't
Speaker 1: lean over good, You're just stuck. I was so angry,
Speaker 1: I was crying. I was stressed the funk out. I've
Speaker 1: been on a million flights. I just wanted to go
Speaker 1: to sleep right, and I'm just saying, could you just
Speaker 1: get the slight lean and then it's just the fucking
Speaker 1: seam of this plane. And sometimes the way they set
Speaker 1: up first class seats, like I've been on planes where
Speaker 1: like every seat you're not really at the window is
Speaker 1: in front of you, but at your head it's the
Speaker 1: fucking seems so I don't know if they do that
Speaker 1: so other people can look out the wind know that
Speaker 1: I paid for but back either side these piets forward
Speaker 1: or back these windows up. Because I've paid for a
Speaker 1: window seat. I need to be able to look out
Speaker 1: this damn window and don't give me the scene. So
Speaker 1: there's a website seat guru dot com and that's where
Speaker 1: I go. Where I'm I literally, if I'm looking at
Speaker 1: a flight, I'll go, okay, where is because sometimes you
Speaker 1: just pick a seat. You don't know there's a bulkhead here,
Speaker 1: there's a scene of a plane here. Some of them
Speaker 1: I've had it. We're like they're like, oh, this seat
Speaker 1: didn't work, or this is an exit rod, the seats
Speaker 1: don't crying, or you're close to the bathroom here, or
Speaker 1: something that's like sometimes you're just like, I just pick
Speaker 1: a seat. You don't know all of the stands and
Speaker 1: down to the seat in the window versus aisle. There's
Speaker 1: no wrong answer, because guess what, You're on a plane, baby,
Speaker 1: You go on places, you're doing stuff, You're getting out
Speaker 1: the house, you're getting natural, you're getting out of your state.
Speaker 1: Probably if you're on a plane, you're probably live in
Speaker 1: your states. You hope it's like a san Francisco, Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: You live in a big as state, right A. Nobody
Speaker 1: flying nowhere. You don't live in Georgia and flying another
Speaker 1: place in Georgia you just drive could being an asshole.
Speaker 1: Get up. But you're on a plane. Hey, you're living,
Speaker 1: You're doing all right. You're on a plane. There are
Speaker 1: people like there are people who have never been on
Speaker 1: an airplane. Do I understand? I understand. I'll say here
Speaker 1: is probably the best place that we can kick it
Speaker 1: off to you, the listener, Who do you? How do
Speaker 1: you feel? Who is right? You know? Is it our
Speaker 1: seat or is it window seat? It's not about being right,
Speaker 1: It's about being blessed, Josh, you or on the plane? Baby?
Speaker 1: The question is the question is as much as it's
Speaker 1: about window and aisle, it's do you buy your snacks before?
Speaker 1: Or you're trying to funk with the snacks that they
Speaker 1: got on the plane. Never the snacks on the plane,
Speaker 1: Always get before. Thank you so much for listening. If
Speaker 1: you're looking to catch up with us on any and socials,
Speaker 1: you can find me at Joshjohnson Comedy on Instagram, at
Speaker 1: Josh Johnson on Twitter, Josh j Comedy on Facebook. If
Speaker 1: you still use it and Josh Johnson comedy on TikTok
Speaker 1: and YouTube. And if you're looking for duel say dou'lt say,
Speaker 1: it's at Dul say sloan on Instagram's uh, it's duelsingy
Speaker 1: slan on everything, but it's d u l c E
Speaker 1: s l O A N. There is no O in
Speaker 1: my first name and there's no e in my last name.
Speaker 1: Um my, my name only ten letters long, and it
Speaker 1: is spelled so many ways. It is pronounced so many ways,
Speaker 1: and all the socials, Dul says loan. I'm on a TikTok,
Speaker 1: I'm out here. If you're still on snapchat, please tell
Speaker 1: me how um tumbler. I didn't know they were still open.
Speaker 1: We appreciate you, and we appreciate you listen to me,
Speaker 1: and you know, always hit us up. Let's know, if
Speaker 1: there's anything you want to hear us talk about. Any Uh,
Speaker 1: what was it? What was it? What's the best word
Speaker 1: for it? Any? Like two subjects that clash that maybe
Speaker 1: people don't even know should clash, you know, yeah, like
Speaker 1: apples and oranges. I mean, why are we compare those
Speaker 1: for so long? I'm gonna go, but y'all have a
Speaker 1: great day and a great weekend. We'll talk to you
Speaker 1: in a little bit. Be blast losers that listen to
Speaker 1: Hold Up on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.