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Speaker 1: This is Latino USA, the Radio Journal of News and

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Speaker 1: Kurturre Latino USC Latin Latino USA. I'm Maria Inojosa. We

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Speaker 1: bring you stories that are underreported but that mattered to you,

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Speaker 1: overlooked by the rest of the media, and while the

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Speaker 1: country is struggling to deal with these, we listen to

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Speaker 1: the stories of black and Latino Studio United Latino Front,

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Speaker 1: a cultural renaissance organizing at the forefront of the movement.

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Speaker 1: I'm Maria Inojosa, Ola, Latino USA. Listener. Here's a really

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Speaker 1: important show from our archives and one quick heads up.

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Speaker 1: This episode contains a mention of sexual violence, so please

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Speaker 1: take care.

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Speaker 2: I believe that storytelling is advocacy, and the advocacy is storytelling.

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Speaker 2: The best way to create the change that we want

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Speaker 2: in society, in our lives is by sharing our stories

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Speaker 2: and asking for what we need.

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Speaker 3: So this book is not.

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Speaker 2: Just about stories. This book is screaming revolutionary ask to

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Speaker 2: support trans young folks.

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Speaker 1: From Fudromedia and PRX. It's Latino USA. I'm Mariao Oosa.

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Speaker 1: Today transactivist actor and author Cecilia Gentili on the intersections

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Speaker 1: of advocacy and storytelling. Cecilia Gentili is a very busy person.

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Speaker 2: I work a lot, have a company, and I do

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Speaker 2: a lot of extra activities or related with community.

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Speaker 1: When she's not advising organizations or government agencies on how

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Speaker 1: to better serve the trans community, Cecilia might be writing

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Speaker 1: an op ed for The New York Times or speaking

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Speaker 1: in that a rally sharing her thoughts on the need

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Speaker 1: to decriminalize sex work.

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Speaker 4: Sex workers are again being forced to the impossible situation

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Speaker 4: of choosing between prioritizing their heads or having enough money

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Speaker 4: to survive.

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Speaker 1: Some of you might be familiar with Cecilia for her

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Speaker 1: role as MS Orlando on the FX hit series Pose,

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Speaker 1: a show portraying underground black and LATINX queer culture in

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Speaker 1: the late nineteen eighties and nineties.

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Speaker 3: Now are we going to do this or not?

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Speaker 2: Because it's going to take time and I'm I have

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Speaker 2: a hair forming at them.

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Speaker 1: Pose, of Course, was the first TV series with a

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Speaker 1: mostly transcast, but when the pandemic struck, Cecilia decided to

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Speaker 1: try her hand at something new, writing a memoir. Because

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Speaker 1: of the pandemic, she no longer had to commute to work,

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Speaker 1: so instead she used that time at home to start writing.

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Speaker 2: I Open My Eyes and walk to my computer and

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Speaker 2: start writing with a coffee.

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Speaker 1: And so last year, at fifty years old, Cecilia published

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Speaker 1: five tests, her first memoir, in the form of seven

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Speaker 1: letters written to people in her hometown in Argentina. Writing

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Speaker 1: to people like her grandmother or her father's mistress, Cecilia

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Speaker 1: uses humor and vivid storytelling to talk not only about

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Speaker 1: abuse and trauma, but also about joy and survival. Here's

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Speaker 1: Cecilia Gentili in her own words.

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Speaker 2: My name is a Legende Lely. I live in Brooklyn,

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Speaker 2: New York City, and I am originally from Argentina. I

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Speaker 2: didn't know what storytelling was. One time, after I changed

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Speaker 2: my name legally, Transgender Legal Defense helped me navigate my

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Speaker 2: name change. And during those meetings of changing my name,

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Speaker 2: I met this amazing trans individual. His name is Noah Lewis,

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Speaker 2: and he invited me to be a part of a

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Speaker 2: storytelling event. And I was like, what is in a

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Speaker 2: storytelling event? And he explained to me that he thought

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Speaker 2: that I could be good at telling stories. So I

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Speaker 2: was like, what, sorry, I'm gonna say. So he asked

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Speaker 2: me to practice with him. That we were driving to

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Speaker 2: my grandmother's house and my brother while.

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Speaker 3: We were crossing a railroad. Elbowed me and said, do

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Speaker 3: you see the railroad? And I said, why are we whispering?

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Speaker 2: And I found the process of talking about an event

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Speaker 2: and talking about my feelings and talking about my story

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Speaker 2: and talking about people around me throughout those times was

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Speaker 2: really healing and very entertaining. We found you in the

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Speaker 2: railroad and I said, what's that in the basket and

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Speaker 2: he said, no, no basket, which is kind of depressing, right.

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Speaker 2: The basket would make it look cute. I love attention.

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Speaker 2: I'm an aquarius. I enjoy being the center of attention.

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Speaker 2: And that was all put together was perfect. But I

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Speaker 2: loved telling stories life right. So you know, when you

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Speaker 2: tell a story, it's easy because you manipulate the story

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Speaker 2: as you want, rights on the goal, You change things around.

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Speaker 3: Because it's your story. Who's going to tell you anything

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Speaker 3: about it? You can do whatever you want.

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Speaker 2: But when I started writing, it's different because you write

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Speaker 2: something and it's structure and its rigid. It's there, it's

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Speaker 2: in a piece of paper, and every time somebody reads it,

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Speaker 2: it's going to be the same. There's no way to

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Speaker 2: tweak it or to play around. When I started writing

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Speaker 2: these stories, I thought it would be important to have

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Speaker 2: a public that for these stories to be told to somebody.

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Speaker 3: So that's how I came with letters.

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Speaker 2: I thought, I'm gonna say these things that I have

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Speaker 2: to say to the people that I want to say

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Speaker 2: them right.

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Speaker 3: Many of them are alive and many of them are not.

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Speaker 2: And that's how I started writing these letters to There

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Speaker 2: are seven letters to seven individuals that had some kind

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Speaker 2: of impact in my life, good or bad. That you

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Speaker 2: love to talk about my hometown I was born, and

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Speaker 2: see that de Galabes. Most of people live from agriculture.

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Speaker 2: The town is very little, and everybody knows you, and

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Speaker 2: everybody knows everything about you, and everybody talks about everybody,

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Speaker 2: and everything that is a little bit outside the normal

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Speaker 2: becomes some kind of sensation. When I was a leader

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Speaker 2: in Argentina was going through a dictatorship, my mother was

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Speaker 2: very clear about the political climate. She told me that

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Speaker 2: she wanted me to know what the reality was because

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Speaker 2: she clearly saw me as a queer kid. And you know,

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Speaker 2: oppressive regimes go first for people who think, write for poets,

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Speaker 2: for thinkers, and for artists, and many of those folks

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Speaker 2: are queer. So the queer community is one of the

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Speaker 2: communities that suffered the most when it comes to repression

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Speaker 2: from oppressive regimes or government. So my mom told me

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Speaker 2: that most of the things that she was oppress round

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Speaker 2: was just because she wanted me to leave. I grew

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Speaker 2: up with an extreme sense of a binaryness. So a

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Speaker 2: person who was a sign melobird should be masculine and

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Speaker 2: do all masculine things and be rough and be all macho,

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Speaker 2: and a woman had the expectation of being submissive and

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Speaker 2: beautiful and wear dresses. And at the time, as it

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Speaker 2: was the seventies, it was no concept of like trans

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Speaker 2: people or non binary people. I didn't meet another transperson

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Speaker 2: until I was seventeen, so for many years I thought

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Speaker 2: like I was an extra terrestrial or I thought that

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Speaker 2: I was crazy. I never never felt like anybody was

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Speaker 2: like me. So that's how I grew up. I grew

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Speaker 2: up having to perform a sense of masculinity that it

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Speaker 2: was not really innate or really came naturally to me,

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Speaker 2: but I navigated in a way in which I was

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Speaker 2: able to indulge in my femininity and in the beauty

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Speaker 2: of being a queer kid. My mom used to give

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Speaker 2: me flowers to bring to the teachers very often. It's

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Speaker 2: a form of appreciation that we do in Latin America.

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Speaker 3: My mom sent me to.

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Speaker 2: School with my carnation in my hand, and when I

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Speaker 2: got to school, I was confronted and told that I

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Speaker 2: shouldn't go to class, that I had to go to

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Speaker 2: see the superintendent la Dilectora de la Cuela. And you

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Speaker 2: know that something is wrong, and they don't send you

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Speaker 2: to see the superintendent if you are doing good. They

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Speaker 2: send you to see them if it did something wrong.

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Speaker 2: And there was my mom and Tho these two women,

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Speaker 2: one was a psychologist and another one psychiatrist, and.

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Speaker 3: They with very.

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Speaker 2: Not very pedagogic ways. They explained to me that I

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Speaker 2: shouldn't use the girls bathroom because I was using the

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Speaker 2: girls bathroom.

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Speaker 3: I thought that that was normal.

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Speaker 2: I felt and always see myself as a girl, so

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Speaker 2: are would going to the girls bathroom? So they explained

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Speaker 2: to me that because of my gen italia, which is

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Speaker 2: such a difficult conversation to have with the kids six

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Speaker 2: years old, you know, it's just hard. I think that

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Speaker 2: was the first time that I learned to negotiate, you know,

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Speaker 2: with people. And I was like, you know what, I'm

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Speaker 2: not gonna have find this. I'm just gonna do what

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Speaker 2: they tell me and I stop using the girls bathroom.

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Speaker 2: But I actually thought at the moment that they were

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Speaker 2: all crazy. As a child, I was obsessed with UFOs.

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Speaker 2: I'm from an area of Argentina that was very famous

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Speaker 2: for people seeing UFOs. One day, we were driving with

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Speaker 2: my father and my mother to my grandmother's house. We

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Speaker 2: were driving and we passed through a railroad and my

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Speaker 2: brother was like, that's where we found you.

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Speaker 3: And I was like what he says, like, yeah, we

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Speaker 3: found you there.

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Speaker 2: You're not my brother, you know, we found you there,

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Speaker 2: and you in race, you know, with us, but you're

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Speaker 2: not part of this family.

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Speaker 3: Which is like really really nasty.

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Speaker 2: But you know, I guess as both brothers and sisters

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Speaker 2: and siblings do, right, And I totally believed him, and

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Speaker 2: it kind of made sense, right. I put to a

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Speaker 2: two together and I was like, this is a known

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Speaker 2: UFO area. I was found in a railroad. I am

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Speaker 2: a girl, but I have a peepee and I can't

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Speaker 2: use the girl's bathroom. Everything led me to believe that

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Speaker 2: I was left in this earth by mistake, by a

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Speaker 2: group of extraterrestrials. And I went to my grandma and

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Speaker 2: I explained that to her, and my grandma, being the

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Speaker 2: amazing woman that she was entertained, and she said that, yeah,

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Speaker 2: maybe you are. I told her, like, maybe they'll come

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Speaker 2: back for me. And that night we waited for the

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Speaker 2: UFOs to come back to get me. So we waited,

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Speaker 2: and of course nobody came. But she told me that

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Speaker 2: we have to thrive with what we have a hand.

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Speaker 2: And she told me that what I had was her

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Speaker 2: and my family, and even if it wasn't my family,

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Speaker 2: even if I was from another planet, I had to

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Speaker 2: make the best out of it. It was a very

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Speaker 2: important lesson of a very, very wise woman. I think

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Speaker 2: it's important that we talked about the importance of giving good,

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Speaker 2: healthy attention to our children, because if we don't give

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Speaker 2: them good, healthy attention, somebody may try to give them

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Speaker 2: a negative attention, like it was my case. I've been

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Speaker 2: in therapy for more than ten years, and I believe

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Speaker 2: that was the time that took me to come to

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Speaker 2: terms with my history of abuse and also with my

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Speaker 2: history of survival. Right because this book is not just

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Speaker 2: about sexual abuse. It's about surviving sexual abuse. It's about

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Speaker 2: finding ways to thrive as a young person. It is

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Speaker 2: one phrase in the book that for me summarized a

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Speaker 2: lot of the whole book that when we talk about

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Speaker 2: sexual abuse and the person who sexually abused me, I

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Speaker 2: say that he saved my life and.

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Speaker 3: Ruin it forever.

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Speaker 2: Right, because this person was the only person that was

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Speaker 2: understanding me as a girl, that was entertaining my femininity

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Speaker 2: in the terrible way that it happened. It was also

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Speaker 2: life saving for me because I felt validated and recognized

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Speaker 2: through the terrible actions that he committed. I think is

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Speaker 2: important that we talk about sexual violence, and that we

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Speaker 2: talk about sexual violence and children and young adults. So

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Speaker 2: this book is a lot about that, but it's a

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Speaker 2: lot about surviving and the beauty of surviving and the

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Speaker 2: strength of surviving and thriving. So, after ten years of therapy,

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Speaker 2: I found the courage to talk openly about my history

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Speaker 2: because that history and the terribleness of some of the

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Speaker 2: things that happened to me were a big part of

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Speaker 2: my bad mental health, my need to use substances. So

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Speaker 2: as part of my process of therapy, I came to

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Speaker 2: understand that I could talk about these things that it

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Speaker 2: was a hate to talk about these things. Finally, after

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Speaker 2: so many years of therapy, I understood that it was

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Speaker 2: not blame of my part, and all of these terrible

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Speaker 2: things that happened to me that I was not to blame,

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Speaker 2: which I did blame myself for many years. I decided

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Speaker 2: not to soften any of the narrative. But also I

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Speaker 2: decided that I didn't want to create a piece that

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Speaker 2: was just about trauma, because I.

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Speaker 3: Believe that.

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Speaker 2: People in general, specifically cis gender people, have a tendency

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Speaker 2: to fit said with the trauma and with the pain

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Speaker 2: and with the terribornness of the lives of a transperson. Right,

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Speaker 2: So I wanted to intertwine the trauma with the joy

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Speaker 2: that I experienced. So at the same time that these

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Speaker 2: bad things were happening to me, I was also experiencing joy,

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Speaker 2: and those two things can live.

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Speaker 3: At the same time.

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Speaker 2: So that's why the book, I hope it translates as

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Speaker 2: those two feelings living together and intertwine. All the letters

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Speaker 2: that I wrote were really important for me. It was

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Speaker 2: very important. Letters that is addressed to my grandmother is

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Speaker 2: meant to describe the joy and the beauty that we

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Speaker 2: can create when we support people, specifically in this case

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Speaker 2: children who are different and is the story of a

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Speaker 2: woman who decided to stand up for her grandchild. My

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Speaker 2: grandmother loved tangos and Argentina. The tangos is, you know,

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Speaker 2: part of the culture is so important, right. But my grandmother,

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Speaker 2: who watch a show called Grandest Ballories del Tango. In

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Speaker 2: the middle of the show, at a moment where I

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Speaker 2: thought it was the most important for me, with the

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Speaker 2: song that I like the most, I come out of

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Speaker 2: her room with all her clothes and jewelry and I

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Speaker 2: do a performance of a tango for them. So they

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Speaker 2: stopped looking at the TV and they moved their heads

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Speaker 2: to look at me. And the TV was just the music,

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Speaker 2: but I was the show. I was doing the show.

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Speaker 2: And I remember myself doing this at four or five, six,

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Speaker 2: seven years old. That's one of the most beautiful memories

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Speaker 2: of my grandmother, her just allowing me to be me right.

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Speaker 2: And if more people will have allowed me to be

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Speaker 2: me like she did with good intentions, maybe my life

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Speaker 2: would have been a little bit better. But even though

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Speaker 2: it wasn't better, it was a life and it's to

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Speaker 2: be celebrated, and that's what we do.

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Speaker 3: That's what we do as trans people.

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Speaker 2: We have to celebrate ourselves when others don't. Trans kits

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Speaker 2: are extremely underattacked with business of legislation throughout the whole country,

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Speaker 2: where like trans kits are not supported in helper or

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Speaker 2: like demands on sports for trans people right, and all

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Speaker 2: of this is the result of this ideology that trans

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Speaker 2: people are this new phenomenon. Trans people have been here forever.

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Speaker 2: I've been here for fifty years. This is not new.

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Speaker 2: The thing is that now trans kids are able to

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Speaker 2: better understand themselves because like the Internet, because information. But

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Speaker 2: in my time, I didn't have any of that. So

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Speaker 2: I had to improvise, and I had to be myself

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Speaker 2: and my feminine self and the little girl that I was.

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Speaker 3: As I could.

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Speaker 2: And that's what I did, and I think it informed

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Speaker 2: a lot of my life till nowadays I find ways

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Speaker 2: to do what I need to do to survive and thrive.

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Speaker 2: I believe that storytelling is advocacy, and the advocacy is storytelling.

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Speaker 2: The best way to create the change that we want

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Speaker 2: in society and in our lives is by sharing our

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Speaker 2: stories and asking for what we need. So this book

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Speaker 2: is not just about stories. This book is screaming revolutionary

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Speaker 2: ask to support trans young faults. So this book is

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Speaker 2: an act of advocacy.

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Speaker 3: On its own.

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Speaker 1: That was Cecilia Gentily gentily passed away on February sixth

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Speaker 1: at our home in Brooklyn. She had just turned fifty

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Speaker 1: two years old. This episode was produced by Julia Rocha

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Speaker 1: and edited by Daisy Contreras. It was mixed by Julia Caruso.

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Speaker 1: The Latino USA team also includes Victoria Strada, Renaldo Lanos Junior,

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Speaker 1: Andrea Lopez Cruzado, Lori mar Marquez, Marta Martinez, Mike Sargent,

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Speaker 1: Nor Saudi, and Nancy Trujillo. Bennileei Ramirez is our co

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Speaker 1: executive producer. Our director of Engineering is Stephanie Lebau. Our

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Speaker 1: marketing manager is Luis Lunap. Our theme music was composed

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Speaker 1: by Sanie Robinos. I'm your host and executive producer Maria

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Speaker 1: Jojosa joined us again on our next episode and in

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Speaker 1: the meantime look for us all of your social media.

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Speaker 1: I'll see you there and remember off y Yes Joo.

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Speaker 5: Latino USA is made possible in part by New York

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Speaker 5: Women's Foundation. The New York Women's Foundation funding women leaders

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Speaker 5: that build solutions in their communities and celebrating thirty years

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Speaker 5: of radical generosity, the John D. And Catherine T. MacArthur

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Speaker 5: Foundation and the Ford Foundation, working with visionaries on the

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Speaker 5: front lines of social change worldwide.

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Speaker 1: From futuro Media and prx it's Latino USA. If I

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Speaker 1: remembered my name, that would be good