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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this

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Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot

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Speaker 1: fm to get started.

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her space. All right, lady,

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Speaker 2: So this week's episode is it's an interesting episode for

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Speaker 2: Domini because we've had a scenario where life has sort

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Speaker 2: of interrupted our process. Right we have you know how

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Speaker 2: we have plans in life and you're like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna do this, I'm gonna do that, and then life

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Speaker 2: shows you on you're not out in control. That's what

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Speaker 2: kind of week Domini I've had. So Donald's gonna go

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Speaker 2: ahead and lead in with two quotes. Okay, we got

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Speaker 2: two quotes for this week. That's what kind of week

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Speaker 2: it is. Done's going to give us our two quotes

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Speaker 2: and we're going to dive into our conversation.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women

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Speaker 3: like you. We're your hosts doctor Dominique Broussard, a college

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Speaker 3: professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 2: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 2: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where

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Speaker 2: black women can just be all right.

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Speaker 4: So, our first quote is it's not stressed that kills us,

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Speaker 4: it is our reaction to it. And that's from Hans Selle,

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Speaker 4: who came up with a theory of how our bodies

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Speaker 4: and our minds react to stress.

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Speaker 1: And we can talk about that a little bit later.

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Speaker 4: And then our next quote is from mister Rogers, and

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Speaker 4: it says, in times of stress, the best thing we

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Speaker 4: can do for each other is to listen with our

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Speaker 4: ears and our hearts and to be assured that our

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Speaker 4: questions are just as important as our answers. So tea,

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Speaker 4: talk to us about what you've been going through this

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Speaker 4: past week.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so it's all started last week. I was at

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Speaker 2: work on a call. I got a text for my family,

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Speaker 2: and you know how, sometimes you might get a call

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Speaker 2: from someone and I don't know if I'm just paranoid,

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Speaker 2: but I feel like a lot of times when someone

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Speaker 2: calls me, I'm just like, ah shit, what happened right? Right?

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Speaker 2: And it was one of those calls. But the thing is,

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Speaker 2: I was actually on a call at work with one

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Speaker 2: of my customers, and my who called me first. I

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Speaker 2: think my sister called me first and I was like, Hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm busy, I'm at work. I want to call I'll

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Speaker 2: hit you later. She was like it's important, and then

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Speaker 2: my mom called me and my other sister called me

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Speaker 2: right after. I said, ah shit. So I'm in my

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Speaker 2: head going like, all right, so ma need to passed away,

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Speaker 2: someone got hurt, you know. I'm just kind of going

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Speaker 2: through the list of things to like mentally prepare myself.

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Speaker 2: And so I finished off the call with my customer,

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Speaker 2: though I'm like totally distracted. So I'm like, I know

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Speaker 2: something happened, right, And so after the call, I call

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Speaker 2: my family and they tell me that my grandmother passed away.

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Speaker 2: And my grandmother and I are super close. We are like,

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Speaker 2: I'm like her baby, Yeah, I'm really close to her,

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Speaker 2: and they text me that at work, girl, and I

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Speaker 2: just kind of broke down and just messaged my manager

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Speaker 2: and I left, and I've been in the planning phase,

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Speaker 2: I guess you could say, of the funeral ever since then.

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Speaker 2: I flew home to Philly the next day and that's

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Speaker 2: where I'm at now. So hopefully our recording as well,

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Speaker 2: if you tune into our New York episode, you know

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Speaker 2: about what we said there, So hopefully Dom and I

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Speaker 2: are doing the podcast justice from our interesting, you know,

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Speaker 2: recording scenario here. But yeah, don that's kind of what

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Speaker 2: the beginning of the week started.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 2: I got here in Philly with my family and girl,

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Speaker 2: you know how they say that death can bring out

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Speaker 2: the worst in people. All gonna say is I felt

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Speaker 2: like I've been in the Tyler Perry movie where it's

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Speaker 2: just been drama and chaos. Not everybody in my family,

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Speaker 2: but a lot of people drama, chaos, confusion, stressed. So

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Speaker 2: now I'm just here and I've been trying to, you know,

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Speaker 2: be the I guess, kind of take on my grandmother's

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Speaker 2: spirit as the matriarch and kind of hold everything together

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Speaker 2: and keep the peace. But that shit has been stressful

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Speaker 2: as fuck. I'm not gonna lie, and so yeah, we're

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Speaker 2: really crazy. It's been a crazy time. I'm still in

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Speaker 2: the midst of it. It's been a crazy time. And I

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Speaker 2: felt like I was in a Tyler Perry movie. And

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Speaker 2: don I want to thank you because you were definitely

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Speaker 2: one of the people in my corner, in my circle

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Speaker 2: and my support system to help throughout this time. But

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Speaker 2: I have been stressed to the max I have. My

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Speaker 2: diet has been through the roof, and I realized, I

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Speaker 2: guess I'm reminded of how important our environment is because

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Speaker 2: I'm not in the same you know, positive sanctuary that

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Speaker 2: I've paid for myself where I live at home. I'm

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Speaker 2: kind of thrown into this chaotic sort of situation. So

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Speaker 2: it's really been impacting me. And I can't wait to

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Speaker 2: keep back home and I can't wait to being my

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Speaker 2: grandmother and then get back home. You've been.

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Speaker 6: Is that you've been really had about through your boundary

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Speaker 6: and finding healthy ways to maintain in a situation that

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Speaker 6: you can't necessarily have control over.

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Speaker 2: And so, yes, girl, it does. And I will say down,

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Speaker 2: I've tried. I've been trying my best. But now that

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Speaker 2: I look back on it, like it's I've tried my best,

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Speaker 2: I will say that, but it's not as good as

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Speaker 2: I think. I don't know how to eat. I don't

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Speaker 2: even know how to work it right now. Girl, my

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Speaker 2: mind is still like all over. But I know that

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Speaker 2: there's an area from food and like I have I

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Speaker 2: literally like eight probably once a day each day I

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Speaker 2: was here, and I usually I usually have myself on

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Speaker 2: the schedule right where I have snacks throughout the day

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to eat and like be on this workout plan.

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Speaker 2: I didn't work out at all, so I didn't do

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Speaker 2: some of those things, but I was able to do

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Speaker 2: some other self care, you know, strategies that didn't help.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, girls, like it's really hard to be in

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Speaker 2: the midst of a chaotic situation where you're being pulled

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Speaker 2: different ways, and then you also got to take care

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Speaker 2: of yourself, you know, monitor your mental health and you know,

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Speaker 2: I think I did a good job of setting boundaries

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Speaker 2: the girl, I've been struggling with a lot of other stuff.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, oh, I just have to be gentle

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Speaker 2: with myself, Like you are doing the best you can,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 6: I think that's the thing remind myself with that Okay,

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Speaker 6: So I remember my ann an unusual situation and hard

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Speaker 6: unusual situation is that the sponsors are not going to

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Speaker 6: always be usual. So it's not expected that there don't

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Speaker 6: be anything to work out every day or healthy or.

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Speaker 5: At the times that go when we would.

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Speaker 6: But the key is one one thing that you mentioned

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Speaker 6: is about getting compassionate with yourself, right and acknowledging that, yes,

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Speaker 6: this is a stressful comedy, this is an unusual circumstance.

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Speaker 6: It's not every day that we lose someone that we

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Speaker 6: are incredibly closed to. Yeah, and so then our responses

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Speaker 6: aren't going to be our every day responses to things. So,

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Speaker 6: you know, one of the things that I want to like,

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Speaker 6: but I kind of dive into a little bit kid. So, okay,

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Speaker 6: you mentioned that you haven't worked out and that you're

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Speaker 6: not doing every day, but what are some of the

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Speaker 6: strengths that you have been able to utilize.

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Speaker 2: So I've I've meditated before I got here, and I

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Speaker 2: love my family and pieces right. However, there are certain

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Speaker 2: people in the family, you know how it is you

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Speaker 2: got them. Certain people in the family were like, Yo,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna being around this person. I need to have

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Speaker 2: the energy for that it's you know, toxic and all that,

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Speaker 2: and so I I got a hotel, but I got

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Speaker 2: like one of those extended stay hotels because I was like,

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Speaker 2: I need to have my own kitchen. I need to

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Speaker 2: have my own space in sanctuary so that I can

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Speaker 2: be okay and I can have a place to retreat to.

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Speaker 2: Usually I would go to my grandmother's house, but everybody's

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Speaker 2: going to be there because she passed away. So I

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Speaker 2: was like, I need to have a place where when

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Speaker 2: it gets crazy, I can just leave them and go

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Speaker 2: to I also like I cleanse my I was gonna

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Speaker 2: bring my stage and you know, my light or the

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Speaker 2: light sensation here, but I only had like one bundle left.

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Speaker 2: So I brought some a sacred wood called palasanto, and

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Speaker 2: I like cleansed my room with energy. I'm like very

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Speaker 2: big on energy, so I'm cleansing my room. I went

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Speaker 2: shopping and got some water and little snacks like granola bars.

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Speaker 2: So I did like I was proactive. I did get stuff.

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Speaker 2: And the other thing I want to say is as

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Speaker 2: far as like boundaries. At one point one day, I

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Speaker 2: was on the computer for hours going over pictures, writing

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Speaker 2: the obituary for my grandmother and you know, revising with

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Speaker 2: my mom and my uncle. And at one point I

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Speaker 2: was like, all right, family, I loved y'all, I need

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Speaker 2: to take a break. I'll talk to y'all in a

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Speaker 2: couple hours. I'm not answering my phone. So people were calling,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, I went out with my siblings,

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Speaker 2: we got food, like I was just chilling, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean. And I didn't answer my phone. So

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Speaker 2: I had a chance to just like take time for me.

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Speaker 2: And even though I still cool, even though it was

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Speaker 2: still stressful and it was a lot going on, those

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Speaker 2: boundaries I set and those things I put in place

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Speaker 2: that was so helpful because I think I would have

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Speaker 2: probably had a nervous breakdown for sure, or anxiety attack

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Speaker 2: or possibly yo, you know how young people have heart attacks.

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Speaker 2: This is I probably would have had a heart atad

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Speaker 2: dealing with all this stuff I've been dealing with. So

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Speaker 2: I'm grateful that I put those things in place for myself.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, And it sounds like you are taking the day

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Speaker 6: by day and moment by moment in terms of Okay, wait,

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Speaker 6: in this moment right now, I ship my living exactly,

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Speaker 6: and before I react, I'm going to respond, and so

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Speaker 6: re often is more of, Okay, I'm going to latch out,

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Speaker 6: and maybe I might because I'm feeling stressed. I'm going

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Speaker 6: to maybe say something that might be hurtful to someone else,

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Speaker 6: or I might say something that could cause a negative

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Speaker 6: reaction to someone else or escalate the situation. But instead

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Speaker 6: I'm going to one take notice that I'm at my limit,

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Speaker 6: and now I'm going to respond to myself and removing

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Speaker 6: myself from this situation before I.

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Speaker 5: End up reacting.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And let me just tell you, dom that's what

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Speaker 2: I saw all this week, Like, that's how one thing

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Speaker 2: has allowed me to do. I was talking to one

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Speaker 2: of my friends about this, and I was like, when

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Speaker 2: you sometimes when you leave a toxic environment and then

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Speaker 2: you go back into it, like after you've moved away,

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Speaker 2: you see like wow, growing up, I used to think

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Speaker 2: this shit was normal because I was in it all

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Speaker 2: the time, right, But when you leave and you create

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Speaker 2: a new sort of I don't know, just a new expectation,

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Speaker 2: like a new standard for your own life. You see, like, damn,

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Speaker 2: you see how other people are acting that way? Right

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Speaker 2: when you're stressed, when you're overwhelmed, you're just saying shit

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Speaker 2: to people, and then people are going back to apologize

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Speaker 2: because they were angry and they just spoke too soon.

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Speaker 2: So you see a lot of that. The other thing

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Speaker 2: I wanted to add dominds I had a great support

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Speaker 2: system to depend on. So you were definitely one person

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Speaker 2: I call and text like, girl, it's the shit show.

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Speaker 2: Helped me. I need thevent I need to talk. My

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Speaker 2: husband was super supportive. My dad one of my freaking coaches,

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Speaker 2: my life coach, she had you know, I told her

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Speaker 2: my grandmother pasted and she was like, if you need anything,

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Speaker 2: call me and down let me tell you. Oftentimes I'm

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Speaker 2: that person where if someone offers help, I'm like, oh no,

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Speaker 2: it's okay, and got in girl. I said, hell no,

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Speaker 2: I'm about to go crazy over here. Let me call

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Speaker 2: these people and depend on my support system. And so

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Speaker 2: although typically I wouldn't want to call someone on a

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Speaker 2: Sunday evening to bug them, I put that shit aside

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Speaker 2: and I said, this woman said that she would be

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Speaker 2: there for me. Let me call her and she gave

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Speaker 2: me phenomenal advice. And it was so nice to just

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Speaker 2: have these sounding boards, you know, outside of this space

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Speaker 2: that could lead me and help me through this challenging time.

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Speaker 6: I think that's the bad show signs of your part.

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Speaker 6: And if it allows you that opportunity to get what

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Speaker 6: you needs and allows you the space to cope in

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Speaker 6: a way that is going to be healthy for you

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Speaker 6: in the long line, right, And it's not sustain that

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Speaker 6: how anybody else in your family is COVID permently coaching

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Speaker 6: is sad. If this is how we know how to respond,

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Speaker 6: right or react and when you're dealing with Greek, it

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Speaker 6: to be hard. Yeah, and we'll have a whole other

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Speaker 6: episode kind of guy. Because I also I also recognize

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Speaker 6: that in this moment, because you are still in it,

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Speaker 6: now not the time for us to process Greek, all right, Yeah, now,

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Speaker 6: right now, the focus is the stress that's happening in

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Speaker 6: this moment, Yeah, And recognizing that everybody is going to

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Speaker 6: react or respond to stress differently. And the other things

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Speaker 6: that that you mentioned too, is that for you, some

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Speaker 6: of your anxiety came up, girl, and and so I

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Speaker 6: kind of want to just give a little boom to

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Speaker 6: kind of dive into like some of the anxiety things

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Speaker 6: that came up for you as well, and then kind

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Speaker 6: of talk about the difference between stress and anxiety.

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Speaker 2: Oh, that would be a good one down because I

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Speaker 2: feel like, you know, I feel like I know the difference,

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Speaker 2: but I may not how to articulate it, you know,

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Speaker 2: in the right way. But for me, the anxiety, I

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Speaker 2: think really came from one, you know, I've been like

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Speaker 2: the mediator. I mean, I've been you know, with dealing

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Speaker 2: with a lot of adults in my family. But I've

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Speaker 2: been the mediator. So I've had to, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: there have been some serious conflicts and I've been like

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Speaker 2: torn between you know, different people, and I'm just like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know what to do, y'all. Like I'm trying

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Speaker 2: to help, but they're not cooperating, and so that's been

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Speaker 2: really stressful for me. But then the anxiety, I think

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Speaker 2: kicks in in the midst of that. But then also

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Speaker 2: my phone constantly going off, so people constantly calling, either

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Speaker 2: with an issue or to ask questions or texting, and

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Speaker 2: that every time my phone rings, it's just like, oh

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Speaker 2: my gosh. And I was telling one of my friends

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Speaker 2: that my body, I can feel my body feels different.

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Speaker 2: That's why I'm like, I can't wait to get back home.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how much more of this I can take.

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Speaker 2: The good thing is I'm not in this space often,

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Speaker 2: so I think my body is like, Okay, we're gonna

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Speaker 2: work with you, girl, we got you. We're gonna pull

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Speaker 2: you through this, but don't be doing this shit often,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Which it won't happen often, because,

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Speaker 2: like you said, this is like a once cent a

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Speaker 2: you know, happens every once in a while for the

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Speaker 2: most part. Isn't you don't lose a loved one that

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Speaker 2: you're super close to on like a regular basis. I

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Speaker 2: want to say, but yeah, girl, that the anxiety definitely

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Speaker 2: kicked in when you know we have a timeline, we

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Speaker 2: have the funeral. You know, the funeral was Thursday, and

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Speaker 2: we're trying to get details squared away Wednesday night, and

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Speaker 2: it's just like, oh my gosh, we got to get

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Speaker 2: this done. So I think coming up against this timeline

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Speaker 2: is tough as well. But I don't even know if

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Speaker 2: I really had a chance to really grieve down. I've

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Speaker 2: been so focused on how to make the service nice,

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Speaker 2: how to help my family, how to support, how to

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Speaker 2: get support from family, how to get support from friends.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I really haven't had a chance to

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Speaker 2: really grieve properly. So I'm sure once I get home

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Speaker 2: and you know it's not as busy, I have a

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Speaker 2: chance to kind of be still and that's what I

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Speaker 2: haven't done. And I like to do that, like meditate

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Speaker 2: and be quiet, and there hasn't been space for that really.

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Speaker 6: And right now it's hard to have that because you're

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Speaker 6: in in terms of when we think about stress, right,

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Speaker 6: and if we go back to our quote from hand Selling,

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Speaker 6: and it says that if not stress that kills.

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Speaker 2: Us, it is our reaction to it.

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Speaker 6: And when in terms of how she defines like stress,

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Speaker 6: he said that our body goes through what they what

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Speaker 6: he calls general adaptation central, right, And what happens is

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Speaker 6: is we go through this along state, then the resistance stage,

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Speaker 6: and then the exult exhaustion stage.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 6: And so initially you were in that alarm stage. You

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Speaker 6: got them and you're like, all right, ship, I need

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Speaker 6: to pop into action. I need to get on the

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Speaker 6: plane for doing. I need to get somebody and get

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Speaker 6: you know, I need to establish my my faith and

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Speaker 6: these are the things that I'm gonna need to manage

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Speaker 6: my faith, right, And I know that I'm gonna need

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Speaker 6: to also try and manage my family. That's that alarm stage.

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Speaker 6: The second stage known as the resistance stage. And so

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Speaker 6: at this point your body is either gonna resist it

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Speaker 6: and it's gonna so it's gonna fight you on trying

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Speaker 6: to deal with this structure.

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Speaker 5: And sometimes that might look it.

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Speaker 6: Might appear as like a breakout, like it appears that

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Speaker 6: maybe you're having an allergic reaction to something or like

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Speaker 6: a pimple, or you know, like there are things that

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Speaker 6: your body will or you'll have this pain that you

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Speaker 6: don't nort really have, and it is your body's playing

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Speaker 6: resisting the structure's feeling with No.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, don real quick. I did I tell you

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Speaker 2: that I'm that I have this rash on my forehead

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Speaker 2: with these big ass bumps. I didn't tell you that.

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Speaker 2: That's so crazy. I just had to say that because

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Speaker 2: when you're talking about rash it or like breakouts, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, that's literally and everybody's like, maybe it's stress.

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Speaker 2: So I just had to interrupt real quick to say,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I think that is what's happening to

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Speaker 2: my face right now.

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Speaker 6: Your body is like tell you. And you can also

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Speaker 6: resistance also in all kind of staff and you're just

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Speaker 6: dealing with it right the while your body is resisting

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Speaker 6: you yourself in terms of going through the motions. You're

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Speaker 6: adapted to the structure, and so you're in the thing

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Speaker 6: of get this stuff, praying and I see how one

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Speaker 6: fam member of your finding and just kind of hang

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Speaker 6: out it and kind of laetic.

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Speaker 5: But we got figuring, got to bury our grandmothers, and.

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Speaker 6: Then we need to get finished done right the next

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Speaker 6: face and you're not there yet, and you probably won't

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Speaker 6: get there until maybe a day or so as to

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Speaker 6: get home.

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Speaker 5: And get back into your whole team.

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Speaker 6: The next stag is the exhaustion stage, and that's the

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Speaker 6: base that when when it's all done right, the duel

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Speaker 6: was over, everyone's going back to their day to day

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Speaker 6: lives and your back enjoy faith and your home and

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Speaker 6: your sanctuary, your faith, faith, and your body is able

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Speaker 6: to like grasp that and you're able to kind of

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Speaker 6: slow down. You're gonna hit a wall and your body

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Speaker 6: is gonna be like like collapse and just connects the

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Speaker 6: space of we are literally physically and instally exhausted.

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Speaker 5: We are we are drink.

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Speaker 6: When you're done, we can't do anything, we can't go anything.

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Speaker 6: So now let's let's relax and let's let's try and.

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Speaker 5: We cool here.

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Speaker 2: That sounds about right down. I can definitely see I

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Speaker 2: can definitely see that happening. And girl, it's crazy when

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Speaker 2: something just I mean, it's so unexpected, and so when

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Speaker 2: it hits you, when it hits you like that, it's

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Speaker 2: just you know, it's just yeah, it's very interesting. I'm

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Speaker 2: just yeah, I feel so lucky that we're having this

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Speaker 2: call now because I feel like I'm getting my low

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Speaker 2: key therapy session right now in the midst of everything.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, oh, that was happening. But yeah, girl,

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Speaker 2: it's something else. Hard bodies react and respond to all this.

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Speaker 2: It really really is.

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Speaker 6: And I think the thing is just too for you

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Speaker 6: to take note of it like mere happening and continue

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Speaker 6: to that your boundary and like you mentioned earlier, when

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Speaker 6: you're in that moment, you know, okay, wait, I can't anymore.

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Speaker 6: I need a moment. Should feel moments and not be

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Speaker 6: afraid to reach out for help, especially when you or

391
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Speaker 6: if you have the court system who and now it's

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Speaker 6: not just for you, but.

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Speaker 5: This is for anybody.

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Speaker 6: Anybody that's listening and dealing with something similar deals with

395
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Speaker 6: a the instructor. If your support system has said reach out,

396
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Speaker 6: let me know what's me, don't be afraid to ask

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Speaker 6: from what you need.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I cannot. I'm so glad you said that. I

399
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Speaker 2: cannot just that enough. I think so often we hear

400
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Speaker 2: people say, oh, let me you need anything, but we

401
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 2: don't know what to say, or we oh, I don't

402
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 2: want to be a burden. If they asked you, you know,

403
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 2: to reach out, reach out. And the thing is, if

404
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,360
Speaker 2: you do ask for help, and let's say they can't

405
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Speaker 2: do it, you know, the worst thing they can do

406
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Speaker 2: is say no, So you know you can go to

407
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Speaker 2: someone else, you know what I mean. So I have

408
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Speaker 2: I don't know if it's a pride thing or I

409
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 2: think for me, maybe it is pride. But I think

410
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Speaker 2: the thing that I'm that I definitely identify with is

411
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Speaker 2: not wanting to be a burden on anyone. And so

412
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Speaker 2: I think that when someone does offer their assistance or

413
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Speaker 2: you know, they ask to help, it's usually I don't

414
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Speaker 2: want to inconvenience them, you know what I mean. And

415
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Speaker 2: so I really had to get past that this week.

416
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Speaker 2: And I think the reason I was able to do

417
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Speaker 2: that because I really, really needed it, and I know

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Speaker 2: that I needed it, and so it was really I

419
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Speaker 2: felt really grateful to have, you know, a sounding board

420
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Speaker 2: and people to depend on, so that was really nice.

421
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Speaker 2: But yeah, I agree with you, and I think that.

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Speaker 6: You know, someone to want someone else wants to ask,

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Speaker 6: was if someone comes to you for help.

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Speaker 5: And find for.

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Speaker 6: Them I mean say I can't help you, or you know,

426
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Speaker 6: oh you're me because you're mastic for help or both

427
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 6: with such an urth. We don't say any of those

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Speaker 6: things when someone comes to us for help, So why

429
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Speaker 6: would we expect that they would say that about it?

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Speaker 2: Exactly? Yes, yes, I agree. I'm really looking forward to

431
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Speaker 2: you know me, this is literally me anytime I go

432
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 2: through something. I am trying to be in the moment,

433
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,440
Speaker 2: but part of me is like, well, I can't wait

434
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 2: until after this is all done and I get my

435
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 2: lessons and I learned from it, and then we can

436
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 2: really dive into the discussion and I can be in

437
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 2: a you know, just a better headspace. But bro, I

438
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 2: just want to I know, I know we talked about

439
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 2: this in one of our last episodes, but even you know,

440
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 2: us going through what we had to go through to

441
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:04,439
Speaker 2: get this episode out that was even you know, that

442
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,160
Speaker 2: was a lot too, you know, just kind of doing

443
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 2: the same thing with you last time. I was like, Okay,

444
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 2: we gotta make do we gotta figure it out, we

445
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 2: got to be up at certain hours and you know

446
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 2: what I mean. So so yeah, I think it's all

447
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 2: going to come together. And I'm just yeah, I'm grateful

448
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 2: for our platform and I'm looking forward to our future

449
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 2: conversations on all these topics too. I think it'll be

450
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 2: really really beneficial.

451
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 6: I agree, And I what I appreciate is your willingness

452
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 6: to stay committed to making sure that we got an

453
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 6: episode out in the midst of everything that you have

454
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 6: going on, while finding while also making sure that we're

455
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 6: finding a way to respect your boundaries and part of

456
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 6: what you have going on. And I think that when

457
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 6: we're dealing with a lot of stress that can here,

458
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 6: that can cause some panic in the sense of like

459
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 6: in the moment of like oh shit, like okay, wait,

460
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 6: you gotta record, Oh but how's this gonna happen? Like

461
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 6: I gotta deal with this with fere arrangements and I

462
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 6: got to deal with fights.

463
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 2: And my family, and.

464
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 6: That panic that sets in and I causes like shortness

465
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 6: of breath and causes all these other.

466
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,639
Speaker 5: Symptoms like physical systems of.

467
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 6: How I feel like myself, Like this is not like

468
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 6: you just feel activated, right and then it's called it

469
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 6: can also it is also causing some anxiety in terms

470
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 6: of can I feel show up for myself, my co host,

471
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 6: my listeners, you know, and trying to figure out how

472
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:08,440
Speaker 6: do we manage the expectations in the midst of our structure.

473
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 6: And I think for you, I think you know, my

474
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 6: my biggest concern has just been making sure that we

475
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 6: were giving ourself that thing and to take care of

476
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 6: yourself and recognizing that things are extenuating.

477
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 5: Circumstances, right, and that.

478
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 6: It's okay to say ways. I know we normally record

479
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,439
Speaker 6: on this day.

480
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 2: But life's happening right now.

481
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 6: It is, so I know that I know that at

482
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 6: a later point, like you said that, we're going to

483
00:27:52,840 --> 00:28:02,160
Speaker 6: dive into how to manage grief and and talk about

484
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 6: some of the lessons I'm sure you're learning about when

485
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 6: a loved one half the way, or what it means

486
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 6: to handle a hand in your fair when you are

487
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 6: older in life, or being some of the things that

488
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 6: we probably should be thinking about at anything yes, in

489
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 6: terms of dealing with when we when we.

490
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 2: Die mm hmm. Yeah, that's that's some point, don I'm

491
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,679
Speaker 2: looking forward to that, and I do. I thank you

492
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 2: for your support as well, and I think for me

493
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 2: in this moment, you know, being able to record has

494
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 2: been like a It's been something to look forward to

495
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 2: for sure. I think we are so blessed to be

496
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 2: able to have this platform and do the work that

497
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 2: we do, because this is invigorating, it's exciting, and it's

498
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 2: something I look forward to even in the midst of

499
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,160
Speaker 2: everything going on, and there was something else I was

500
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 2: going to say, it's going to come back to me. Oh,

501
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 2: and I think that the other time. I say. I

502
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 2: think the other thing that was key for me too

503
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 2: during this time is to just be transparent. I know

504
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 2: we were thinking about, Okay, what are we going to

505
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 2: talk about, and I'm like, honestly, the only thing on

506
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 2: my mind right now is all this fucking stress, you

507
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 2: know what I mean. So being able to just dive

508
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 2: into this topic that was super helpful. And I hope

509
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 2: that the listeners will also get something out of the

510
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 2: conversation because it's just this. It is what it is right.

511
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 6: Exactly and then what I was gonna say to that too,

512
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 6: is that sometimes when we're dealing with with situations of

513
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 6: grief and or high stress, sometimes maintainings of our normal

514
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 6: team helps us to coach helps us. So being able

515
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 6: to record because that's something that we both really look

516
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 6: forward to a particular for you right now, because that's

517
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 6: something that really keeps you going and keeps you motivated.

518
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 5: That really important.

519
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, couldn't agree more. Dom, Well, I.

520
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,719
Speaker 6: Can't wait till we are back in the same faith,

521
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 6: and I'm sending you like a virtual hug, and then

522
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 6: when I see you in perfect because we can cut

523
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 6: our boundaries around getting physical hugs, I know you'll be okay,

524
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 6: it's a physical hug.

525
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, I appreciate that, Dom, And yes I am.

526
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 2: I'm taking all the hugs because it it has definitely

527
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 2: been a trying journey. But yeah, I'm really excited for

528
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 2: the work that we're doing and looking forward to those

529
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 2: future conversations. It's going to be good.

530
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us today in her Space. Please note

531
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 3: that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice,

532
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,479
Speaker 3: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no

533
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 3: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal

534
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 3: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you are

535
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 3: someone you know is in need of mental health care,

536
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 3: please please visit the therapyople Black Girls directory Psychology Today

537
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 3: or contact your insurance provider.

538
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

539
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

540
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 2: Twitter at her space podcast or check out our website

541
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 2: at herspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat

542
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 2: after me, I will not judge myself for where I'm starting.

543
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 2: I'm making progress every day.

544
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us. We'll see you next week, lady,