1
00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:05,480
Speaker 1: This is John, this is them, Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

2
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:06,400
Speaker 1: and we have some.

3
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,640
Speaker 2: Good story is coming up for you. That's right.

4
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,280
Speaker 1: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,360
Speaker 1: two minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

6
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,400
Speaker 3: I refuse to plan anything for Father's Day because my

7
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,840
Speaker 3: mother's day was ruined. Okay, all right, a little bit

8
00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:28,280
Speaker 3: of revenge. I'm ninety eight point seven percent sure that

9
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,960
Speaker 3: I am not the alier, but if I'm wrong, I'm

10
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,599
Speaker 3: willing to admit it and learn from my mistakes. Our

11
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,640
Speaker 3: little boy will be one late this summer. So this

12
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,200
Speaker 3: was the first Mother's Day and Father's Day for both

13
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,560
Speaker 3: me and my husband. By the way, this comes from

14
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,800
Speaker 3: counter necessary to five ninety seven, and if you want

15
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,720
Speaker 3: to smit your own stories, go to the r slash.

16
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,680
Speaker 3: Okay Storytime subbured it. So my husband asked what I

17
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,839
Speaker 3: wanted for Mother's Day. I didn't want or need anything

18
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,760
Speaker 3: big or expensive. What I asked for is want for

19
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:58,639
Speaker 3: husband to get up with the little guy and get

20
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,720
Speaker 3: them fed while I pumped and chill, to breakfast in bed,

21
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,880
Speaker 3: just toast scrambled eggs, look coffee, for us to take

22
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,759
Speaker 3: the little guy to the zoo for the first time.

23
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,680
Speaker 3: This was the main thing I was looking forward to

24
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,240
Speaker 3: go to my favorite taco place for dinner, and then

25
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,360
Speaker 3: between morning and afternoon naps, we have about four hours

26
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,720
Speaker 3: of awake time. The zoo is about thirty minutes away,

27
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,800
Speaker 3: so I had figured if we left as soon as

28
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,880
Speaker 3: he got up from his nap and ate, we'd have

29
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,240
Speaker 3: a couple hours at the zoo and worst case, he

30
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,000
Speaker 3: could sleep in the car on the way home. They're

31
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,640
Speaker 3: never going to the zoo. Yeah, this happening. We took

32
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,920
Speaker 3: my mom and my mother in law out to brunch

33
00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:33,840
Speaker 3: the prior weekend to celebrate them his mom on Saturday

34
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,559
Speaker 3: and my mom on Sunday. I also got them each

35
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,160
Speaker 3: a thoughtful little present and flowers to celebrate their first

36
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,399
Speaker 3: Mother's Day as grandparents. I arranged everything and told my

37
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,880
Speaker 3: mom and mother in law that we'd be celebrating on

38
00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,800
Speaker 3: the actual day with just our little family, and sent

39
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,720
Speaker 3: them a group chat which included husband, my dad, and

40
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 3: father in law, just to make sure everyone was on

41
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,480
Speaker 3: the same page. My mother in law is very pushy

42
00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,720
Speaker 3: and overbearing, so I didn't want there to be any

43
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,680
Speaker 3: or confusion. The Saturday before Mother's Day, father in law

44
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,240
Speaker 3: sent my husband a text with the picture of all

45
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,320
Speaker 3: the moults she had just delivered and said something like

46
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,520
Speaker 3: it's gonna be a bus weekend or something like that.

47
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,800
Speaker 3: Apparently he had three hundred bags of mult They have

48
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,720
Speaker 3: a big yard with lots of flower beds. That night,

49
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,880
Speaker 3: my mother in law called my husband and asked him

50
00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:22,839
Speaker 3: to come over first thing in the morning to help

51
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,880
Speaker 3: his dad move the bags of mulch to where they

52
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,520
Speaker 3: were going to be used. She said, since we weren't

53
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,880
Speaker 3: going to the zoo until after the little guy's nap,

54
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,960
Speaker 3: that husband could go over and help out for a

55
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,080
Speaker 3: couple hours and then come pick us up to go

56
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,320
Speaker 3: to the zoo. I was obviously not happy, but she

57
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,600
Speaker 3: guilted him and said father in law was going to

58
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,720
Speaker 3: end up hurting himself if he moved all of that

59
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,240
Speaker 3: by himself, and that it's not a big deal and

60
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,400
Speaker 3: should only take an hour or two. Listen, I'll just

61
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,799
Speaker 3: tell you right now, a mulch hour is not equivalent

62
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,600
Speaker 3: to a real life hour. Do you work with a

63
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:52,840
Speaker 3: lot of mulch in the woodwork here?

64
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,240
Speaker 4: No, ma'am, But I just feel like you're working with

65
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,400
Speaker 4: mulch for two hours that's a six hour so equivalent.

66
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,640
Speaker 3: I agree, pogget clown. Sorry that I told him his

67
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,480
Speaker 3: mom was doing this to try and get us to

68
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,520
Speaker 3: skip our plans and spend the day with them, but

69
00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,520
Speaker 3: he kept saying is not a big deal, saying his

70
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,720
Speaker 3: mom promised he would only take a couple hours, et cetera,

71
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,960
Speaker 3: et cetera. I think most people know what happened. Husband

72
00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,800
Speaker 3: went over first thing, which means no breakfast in bed,

73
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,120
Speaker 3: and I had to get up and feed the little guy.

74
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,880
Speaker 3: I was kind of pissed, but whatever. Spend time with

75
00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:28,240
Speaker 3: the little guy. Then he went down for his morning nap.

76
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,480
Speaker 3: I texted my husband to let him know he should

77
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,960
Speaker 3: start wrapping things up. Then, when little guy woke up

78
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,400
Speaker 3: two hours later, I called husband to tell him I'd

79
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,360
Speaker 3: be ready to go as soon as I finished feeding

80
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,000
Speaker 3: the little guy. He told me it was taken longer

81
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,240
Speaker 3: than expected. Yeah, those are them mulch hours. I told

82
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,720
Speaker 3: you everyone, Yeah, Riley told us, but that heat hurry.

83
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,120
Speaker 3: Like an hour and a half later, husband called and

84
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,240
Speaker 3: said they weren't done, but he was getting ready to

85
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,760
Speaker 3: come home. It's a fifteen to twenty minute drive for

86
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,600
Speaker 3: mother in law and father in law's house. At that point,

87
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,760
Speaker 3: we missed the window to make it to the zoo,

88
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,400
Speaker 3: so I told him just stay there and finish and

89
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,760
Speaker 3: not worry about Mother's Day, since he hadn't done a

90
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,960
Speaker 3: single thing I asked for. I don't think there was

91
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,160
Speaker 3: any doubt in his mind how pissed I was a

92
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,960
Speaker 3: little later, his mom called and said since we decided

93
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,000
Speaker 3: not to go to the zoo, that me and little

94
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,080
Speaker 3: Guy should go hang out with her while the boys

95
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,560
Speaker 3: finished with the mulch. I admit that I was pretty

96
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,560
Speaker 3: pissy and told her I had no interest in spending

97
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,680
Speaker 3: time with the people who decided to ruin my mother's day.

98
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:26,520
Speaker 3: You know what, slay a big swing, but slay, I'll

99
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,240
Speaker 3: give it to Slay. Nonetheless, I ended up staying home

100
00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:32,599
Speaker 3: and ordering a pizza and binging Netflix with the little Guy.

101
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,360
Speaker 3: When husband got home, he was all apologetic and asked

102
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,200
Speaker 3: how he could make it up. I was still pissed

103
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,919
Speaker 3: and told him he could make it up by not

104
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,800
Speaker 3: ruining my first Mother's Day. I also told him he

105
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,240
Speaker 3: should plan on spending Father's Day with his mom and dad,

106
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,320
Speaker 3: because me and the little Guy were gonna go celebrate

107
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:49,160
Speaker 3: Father's Day with my mom and dad. Since Mother's Day,

108
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,839
Speaker 3: mother in law has been texting and calling, but I've

109
00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:56,880
Speaker 3: been keeping conversations short and just giving very bland, generic responses.

110
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,640
Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, it's incredibly rude, Like this is her

111
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,280
Speaker 3: first with the little guy. With the little guy, they

112
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,840
Speaker 3: planned to go to the zoo and he's not even there.

113
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,080
Speaker 3: You can't make it up. I mean, you can do

114
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,760
Speaker 3: another outing to the zoo next week. Yeah, it's not

115
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,080
Speaker 3: gonna be the same, though. I think the only way

116
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,400
Speaker 3: that he could maybe fix this bother's day he pretends

117
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:16,960
Speaker 3: his mother's day.

118
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like that's the thing, is like, it's not

119
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,800
Speaker 4: gonna be the same. No, there was something magical that

120
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,200
Speaker 4: happened with the giraffes that only happened on that day

121
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,719
Speaker 4: and will never happen again, but at the zoo.

122
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,320
Speaker 3: At the zoo, but.

123
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,400
Speaker 4: You can still like it'd be nice to be like

124
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,320
Speaker 4: all those plans we missed, yeah, let's do them today

125
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,760
Speaker 4: to it. Still it's essentially the same holiday as well.

126
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,240
Speaker 4: It's like we're both celebrating parentage. Yeah, and we can

127
00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,560
Speaker 4: make a parent day parent yeah, parent day. My husband

128
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,840
Speaker 4: has been apologizing and asking what he can do, but Honestly,

129
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,200
Speaker 4: I don't want to bother. I know it's just today

130
00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:52,680
Speaker 4: and we can celebrate any time, like we did with

131
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,359
Speaker 4: my mom and mother in law. But it was my

132
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,479
Speaker 4: first ever Mother's Day, and it's not like I asked

133
00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,680
Speaker 4: for anything expensive or difficult. The only difficul thing is

134
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,360
Speaker 4: he's incapable of setting boundaries with his mom, and she's

135
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,840
Speaker 4: incapable of considering anyone's feelings but her own. This past Saturday,

136
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,200
Speaker 4: he asked if I was still going to my parents,

137
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,520
Speaker 4: then said he'd like to go with us. I told

138
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,960
Speaker 4: him he could do whatever he wanted, but since I

139
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,120
Speaker 4: hadn't done anything for his dad, he might want to

140
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,240
Speaker 4: go see him or something.

141
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,240
Speaker 3: We did. Both end up going to my parents and

142
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:23,400
Speaker 3: spending the day with them. It was actually a nice day.

143
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,760
Speaker 3: My dad insisted on grilling, because of course he did,

144
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,160
Speaker 3: but the weather ended up being nice and we spent

145
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,240
Speaker 3: a lot of time hanging out on the deck. I'm

146
00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:33,800
Speaker 3: not sure what, if anything, my husband did for his dad.

147
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,640
Speaker 3: I know he was getting a lot of texts during

148
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,920
Speaker 3: the day, I assume from his mom. She did send

149
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,120
Speaker 3: me a snippy tax saying it was hurtful to spend

150
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,000
Speaker 3: the day with my family at the expense of husband's.

151
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,000
Speaker 3: But I told her she got to spend Mother's Day

152
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,000
Speaker 3: with her baby boy, so it's only fair that I

153
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,599
Speaker 3: spend Father's Day with my family. I know my husband

154
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,800
Speaker 3: was hurt that we didn't acknowledge him for Father's Day boohoo,

155
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,159
Speaker 3: but I told him while we were driving to my parents'

156
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,520
Speaker 3: house that I'm just matching his energy. I admit that

157
00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,359
Speaker 3: I haven't done anything to de escalate the drama, but

158
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,320
Speaker 3: I'm still just so hurt. He continues to prioritize his

159
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,520
Speaker 3: mom's feelings over our little family. This isn't the first

160
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,640
Speaker 3: time his mom is done crap like this, and I'm

161
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,480
Speaker 3: just so tired of it. She always oversteps and insists

162
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,960
Speaker 3: on doing what she wants. I'm doing better at keeping

163
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,800
Speaker 3: her at arm's length and holding my own boundaries, but

164
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,440
Speaker 3: my husband is absolutely incapable of that. Am I the ale?

165
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,400
Speaker 3: And there is an update? But what do you do,

166
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,480
Speaker 3: is op the A hole? Should she focus on de

167
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:31,120
Speaker 3: escalating the drama? How does she do it? Yeah? And

168
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,560
Speaker 3: you know it's not like this on the woodworking subreddit's

169
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,240
Speaker 3: it's really straightforward. Yeah, Yeah, I'm she's not the a

170
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:38,160
Speaker 3: hole obviously.

171
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,200
Speaker 4: Could you imagine if this was my first time here

172
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,200
Speaker 4: and I was like, yeah, she's the a hole.

173
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:43,880
Speaker 3: She sucks.

174
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,840
Speaker 4: No, but it's weird. It's like, I think you're allowed

175
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:50,600
Speaker 4: to be upset. Yeah, like absolutely, those feelings are justified, and.

176
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:51,200
Speaker 3: You're even allowed.

177
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,440
Speaker 4: Like she even kind of communicated like, this is gonna

178
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,840
Speaker 4: be the deal with Father's Day.

179
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,600
Speaker 3: You know, I don't spend it. I mean, the mother

180
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:57,640
Speaker 3: in law's the problem.

181
00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I also do love her just being like

182
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,560
Speaker 4: I'm also I'm not de escalating it. At some point,

183
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,320
Speaker 4: everybody will probably have to wash their hands of it

184
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,360
Speaker 4: and do better.

185
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,920
Speaker 3: I agree. The thing is he can do better next time.

186
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,920
Speaker 3: And I think that she needs to have a conversation

187
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:15,120
Speaker 3: with him and say like, hey, you have to kind

188
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,680
Speaker 3: of create boundaries with your mom, because I do think

189
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:23,240
Speaker 3: it's a new feeling and you realize, oh, my family

190
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,040
Speaker 3: unit that I used to have is no longer the

191
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,960
Speaker 3: most important thing. It's now this new family unit with

192
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,160
Speaker 3: my partner and my child. And so I do think

193
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,840
Speaker 3: that's like a new kind of you have to get

194
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,280
Speaker 3: used to it. And so I think just having a

195
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,719
Speaker 3: conversation with him and saying I understand that you care

196
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:42,440
Speaker 3: for your family, but now we are your priority. This weekend,

197
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,240
Speaker 3: the husband and I sat down and talked about everything.

198
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:49,400
Speaker 3: I expressed to him how incredibly upset and disappointed I

199
00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,560
Speaker 3: was at how both Mother's Day and Father's Day went down.

200
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,400
Speaker 3: I really wanted to recognize and celebrate my husband for

201
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,520
Speaker 3: Father's Day every bit as much as I hoped he

202
00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,680
Speaker 3: would recognize and celebrate me for Mother's Day. He said

203
00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:03,480
Speaker 3: he knew he shouldn't have gone to his parents on

204
00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,800
Speaker 3: Mother's Day, but didn't know what to do since his

205
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,280
Speaker 3: mom was pressuring him and saying if his dad got hurt,

206
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,920
Speaker 3: it would be husband's fault. He admitted that he knew

207
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,000
Speaker 3: he messed up and has been terrified that I was

208
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,360
Speaker 3: going to ask for a divorce. Dang. Since he cut

209
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,120
Speaker 3: to the chase, I told him that if this is

210
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,240
Speaker 3: how our life is going to be, I don't want

211
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,960
Speaker 3: to stay married my god Dang. I explained to him

212
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,680
Speaker 3: that I realized that while yes, I was upset about

213
00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:28,319
Speaker 3: what happened on Mother's Day, that isn't what is making

214
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,720
Speaker 3: me feel this way. That was just the straw that

215
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,360
Speaker 3: broke the camel's back. This kind of behavior from his

216
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,480
Speaker 3: mom has been happening since before we got engaged, and

217
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:41,520
Speaker 3: is just escalated. This has been happening for years. As

218
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:45,240
Speaker 3: someone here suggested, I had listed all the times and

219
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,040
Speaker 3: events that I could remember that she had overstepped or

220
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,680
Speaker 3: just completely ruined for our freaking honeymoon. She called him

221
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,680
Speaker 3: twice a day, every morning to find out our plans

222
00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,839
Speaker 3: for the day, and then every evening to hear how

223
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,959
Speaker 3: the day went, plus the constant texting asking for pictures,

224
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,040
Speaker 3: telling him how much she missed him. I don't know

225
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,319
Speaker 3: how I thought this was acceptable. She tried to make

226
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,640
Speaker 3: our wedding about herself, try to make my pregnancy about herself,

227
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,160
Speaker 3: tried to take over when we brought our son home,

228
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,720
Speaker 3: just constantly inserting herself and overstepping. I told him that

229
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,360
Speaker 3: I don't really want to get divorced right now, but

230
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,600
Speaker 3: if it's going to happen anyway, I'd rather get divorced

231
00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:23,520
Speaker 3: now while we can still do it amicably. Y'all need therapy.

232
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,880
Speaker 4: You just had a kid, Like I want to be

233
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,160
Speaker 4: clear that it's not funny, not funny, but like there

234
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,000
Speaker 4: is something slightly amusing about like, well, I don't really

235
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,400
Speaker 4: want to get a divorce. Sophia but maybe now as

236
00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:38,079
Speaker 4: good as time, Let's do it before we grow resentful

237
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:38,800
Speaker 4: of each other.

238
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:46,080
Speaker 3: Why didn't you say I love you? We're getting a

239
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,840
Speaker 3: divorced you didn't say I love you? Because if nothing changes,

240
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,880
Speaker 3: I'm going to end up so angry and resentful that

241
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,880
Speaker 3: it would make divorce very contentious, and I don't want

242
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,440
Speaker 3: that for our son. At this point, we're both crying,

243
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,319
Speaker 3: upset and emotional. So I told him that I'll give

244
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,800
Speaker 3: him some time to decide what he's going to do,

245
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,920
Speaker 3: but if I don't see clear effort being made to

246
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,840
Speaker 3: start prioritizing me and her son, that I'd move forward

247
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,120
Speaker 3: with the divorce. And the change has to continue. Every

248
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,800
Speaker 3: time we've thought about this in the past, he promised

249
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,280
Speaker 3: he'll change, and sometimes he has, but then his mom

250
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:22,000
Speaker 3: pulls him back into her orbit. If we are to

251
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,920
Speaker 3: stay married, these are some of the things I'm insisting on,

252
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,160
Speaker 3: in no particular order. She's given us the list, the

253
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,079
Speaker 3: list we each own. The relationship with our own parents.

254
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,840
Speaker 3: That means I'm not planning anything for his parents anymore.

255
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:39,120
Speaker 3: No cards, no presents, no brunches or parties, no pictures, nothing.

256
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,280
Speaker 3: If his parents reach out to me, I'm going to

257
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,520
Speaker 3: redirect them to him. I'm not entertaining or visiting with

258
00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:47,079
Speaker 3: his parents when he's not around. I'm not taking our

259
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,360
Speaker 3: son over to theirs by myself, and if they drop by,

260
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,680
Speaker 3: I'm not inviting them in unless my husband is there.

261
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,720
Speaker 3: I'm not changing my plans at the last minute just

262
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,760
Speaker 3: because they decided to drop by without coordinating with us

263
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,760
Speaker 3: in advance, or because they want us to do something

264
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,160
Speaker 3: with them. Neither of us makes plans with our parents

265
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,920
Speaker 3: or accepts invitations until we discuss with our partner. And

266
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,960
Speaker 3: if we don't both agree that we don't do it,

267
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,199
Speaker 3: then we don't do it. And we don't throw each

268
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,480
Speaker 3: other under the bus. We just say something like we

269
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,480
Speaker 3: checked our schedule and we're not available. Holidays like Christmas, Halloween, Easter,

270
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,880
Speaker 3: et cetera. Are at our house. We can discuss inviting

271
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,200
Speaker 3: our parents, but we're not going to someone else's house

272
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,920
Speaker 3: to celebrate something involving our son when we can do

273
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,000
Speaker 3: it at home. Personally, I don't like that rule, but

274
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,080
Speaker 3: this is your rules. This includes his first birthday, which

275
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,240
Speaker 3: mother in law is trying to take over and plan

276
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:40,120
Speaker 3: other holidays. We're alternating between our parents and we will

277
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,240
Speaker 3: focus on being present. That means no more texting and

278
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,199
Speaker 3: talking to his mom NonStop when we're with my parents,

279
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,800
Speaker 3: no more over sharing with mother in law. She doesn't

280
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,880
Speaker 3: need to know about our finances or health, medical issues,

281
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,520
Speaker 3: or vacation plans or anything unless we both agree it's

282
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,120
Speaker 3: something we want to share. His visits to his parents

283
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,400
Speaker 3: can't be at the expense of spending quality time with

284
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,800
Speaker 3: me and our son. I don't mind him visiting his parents,

285
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,960
Speaker 3: but he's over there a couple times a week. We

286
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,520
Speaker 3: are his immediate family. Now we should get priority. We're

287
00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:10,800
Speaker 3: not doing things just because she said we should, and

288
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,520
Speaker 3: we're not changing our plans just because she doesn't like them.

289
00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 3: She really doesn't understand that wrong and different are not

290
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,480
Speaker 3: the same thing in her mind. If we're not doing

291
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,199
Speaker 3: what she wants how she wants, then we are in

292
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,559
Speaker 3: the wrong. He needs to go to therapy with someone

293
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:28,120
Speaker 3: specializing enmeshment, and we need to start going to couple's therapy.

294
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,880
Speaker 3: I didn't even realize I have so much pent up

295
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,840
Speaker 3: resentment that I can't look at my husband the same anymore.

296
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,800
Speaker 3: I realize that from this story, I'm just angry at

297
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,040
Speaker 3: him all the time and I hate being this way

298
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,719
Speaker 3: when it comes to our son. Our word, husband and

299
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,760
Speaker 3: me is law. If she disregards or minimizes our decisions

300
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,840
Speaker 3: for our son, then she loses access until she learns

301
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,600
Speaker 3: to behave. When me or my husband say no to it,

302
00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:54,319
Speaker 3: either set of parents, the other person will support them

303
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,720
Speaker 3: and back them up. That means my husband has to

304
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,000
Speaker 3: stop trying to get me to agree with his mom

305
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,960
Speaker 3: all the time. There's a little laughed to the story.

306
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:06,360
Speaker 3: Do you think Op's rules for engagement are effective too far?

307
00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:07,320
Speaker 3: Not far enough?

308
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:10,120
Speaker 4: I think they're coming from an understandable place. I feel

309
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,600
Speaker 4: like I'm always.

310
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,480
Speaker 3: Just kind of middle of the road in it down here.

311
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,959
Speaker 4: But it's like it's one of those things where you're like,

312
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,200
Speaker 4: it's always coming from a pretty understandable place.

313
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, some of them get a little particular. Yeah, but

314
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,680
Speaker 3: if it works, it works. The worst works. I think

315
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,440
Speaker 3: these rules are maybe a good starting place, but I

316
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,280
Speaker 3: think going when they go to therapy talking about them

317
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,600
Speaker 3: to kind of get the therapist yeah view on it

318
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,680
Speaker 3: and seeing if because my only worry is that they

319
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:39,120
Speaker 3: said that these rules are for both sets of parents,

320
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,760
Speaker 3: but because the problem lies with her mother, is there

321
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,320
Speaker 3: going to be kind of an imbalance, and that's the

322
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,680
Speaker 3: only thing I worry about. But the mother in law

323
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,160
Speaker 3: is a problem that does need to be addressed. I

324
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,280
Speaker 3: can tell he's freaked out and really stressed about the

325
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:56,120
Speaker 3: idea of putting hard boundaries in place or distancing from

326
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,800
Speaker 3: his parents, and I do feel for him. He said

327
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,800
Speaker 3: he feels like he's caught between rock in a hard

328
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,920
Speaker 3: place and that ME and his mom are both putting

329
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,800
Speaker 3: a ton of pressure on him and both have conflicting expectations.

330
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 3: And that's fine. He just needs to understand that I'm

331
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,600
Speaker 3: not tolerating this anymore. I know this will cause an

332
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,560
Speaker 3: absolute crabstorm with his parents, but I feel like if

333
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,720
Speaker 3: we don't do it now, it'll just be harder down

334
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:22,200
Speaker 3: the road. What does everyone think? Am I being unreasonable?

335
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,840
Speaker 3: Are there other boundaries we should put in place? And that, folks,

336
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:29,280
Speaker 3: is the end of that story. My husband wants to

337
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,880
Speaker 3: cancel our wedding for the third time. Now. There are

338
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,120
Speaker 3: times a charm. Maybe this time we word I twenty

339
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,400
Speaker 3: nine female, got engaged to my current husband, twenty eight male,

340
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,760
Speaker 3: back in twenty nineteen. We've been together six going on

341
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,360
Speaker 3: seven years, so we have been together six going on

342
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,400
Speaker 3: seven years. I was also pregnant with our first child.

343
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,880
Speaker 3: We plan for a twenty twenty November wedding when our

344
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,520
Speaker 3: daughter was eleven months old.

345
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:53,040
Speaker 2: Oof.

346
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:57,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, this plan unfortunately fell to pieces because of the pandemic.

347
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,720
Speaker 3: The state borders were shut and most of my friends

348
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,120
Speaker 3: and family lived interstate, so about half of the wedding

349
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 3: couldn't attend, including my parents, sister, and Brian's maids. By

350
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,880
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Throwway two five nine five

351
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,520
Speaker 3: four to two two eight nine, and if you want

352
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash. Okay.

353
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:18,000
Speaker 3: Storytime separated it. So we had to make the heartbreaking

354
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,200
Speaker 3: decision to postpone the wedding. We didn't want to lose

355
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,440
Speaker 3: everything and we had our heart set on the date,

356
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 3: so we decided to elope with only four guests, a

357
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,520
Speaker 3: celebrant and photographer. This was all discussed prior and was

358
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,480
Speaker 3: always going to be a placeholder for our real wedding.

359
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,000
Speaker 3: We rebooked our wedding eleven months later, and lo and behold,

360
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:41,040
Speaker 3: the VID restrictions shut down our town again. Just terrible

361
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,160
Speaker 3: e f and luck, but life goes on. We had

362
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,440
Speaker 3: been holding off on trying to have a second baby

363
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,720
Speaker 3: for this wedding, and it was becoming depressing planning something

364
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:52,520
Speaker 3: that kept being canceled. So we decided to postpone again

365
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,360
Speaker 3: without another wedding date in mind, and started trying for

366
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,080
Speaker 3: a baby right away. Fast forward a couple of years

367
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,800
Speaker 3: and we've welcomed our third child in June twenty twenty four. Congrats.

368
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,040
Speaker 3: Now our family is complete and we are in a

369
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,680
Speaker 3: good place. It's time to rebook our wedding. I kept

370
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,199
Speaker 3: him in the loop about my intentions and plans and

371
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,760
Speaker 3: always asked him along the way what he thought and

372
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,320
Speaker 3: if he was okay with that some info. We've already

373
00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:18,800
Speaker 3: had most things we needed, wedding dress, successories, suits for

374
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:22,119
Speaker 3: him and the groomsmen, bridesmaid dresses, It's all been ready

375
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,159
Speaker 3: to go, sitting in a closet collecting dust. How sad.

376
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 3: So about three months ago, after speaking to him first,

377
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,760
Speaker 3: I rebooked the venue and paid a thousand dollars deposit.

378
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,560
Speaker 3: All was fine, and I finally felt I could get

379
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,000
Speaker 3: excited again. I sent out Save the dates and it's

380
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,120
Speaker 3: booked for more than twelve months away. I've told all

381
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,399
Speaker 3: my friends and family, and the excitement of getting to

382
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,760
Speaker 3: have our special day has been building. No, not the excitement.

383
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,520
Speaker 3: The wedding is booked on our five year elopement anniversary

384
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:52,520
Speaker 3: in November twenty twenty five, which I think five years

385
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:56,040
Speaker 3: is well and truly long enough. Well, last night husband

386
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,040
Speaker 3: dropped the bomb that he wants to postpone the wedding

387
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,520
Speaker 3: again time. He wants to wait and postpone for another

388
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:06,359
Speaker 3: five years, which would bring us to the year twenty thirty. Why.

389
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 4: He's like, I just think a ten year anniversary is

390
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,560
Speaker 4: But at this point he's become addicted to the yeah

391
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,360
Speaker 4: to postpone.

392
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:16,480
Speaker 3: I just love that a wedding feeling. I'm so beyond

393
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 3: devastated and heartbroken that he would even suggest this. Further info,

394
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:24,240
Speaker 3: my parents are contributing ten thousand dollars and I'm contributing

395
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 3: ten thousand dollars, and my husband has contributed two thousand dollars.

396
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,040
Speaker 3: It was always the plan to a lope and have

397
00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,760
Speaker 3: our redo wedding at a later time, and now he's

398
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,200
Speaker 3: saying it's a waste of money and we're already married.

399
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,439
Speaker 3: He's only paying two thousand dollars, that's it. He's like,

400
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,440
Speaker 3: it's just too much money. You're paying way more than him.

401
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,480
Speaker 3: I never would have agreed to the elopement if I

402
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,880
Speaker 3: knew that's how he felt. I've given him every opportunity

403
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,159
Speaker 3: to speak up about what he wants in the wedding,

404
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 3: and he always seems indifferent and hasn't had any objections.

405
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,280
Speaker 3: So this has completely blindsided me. I don't know where

406
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,840
Speaker 3: to go from here. Marriage and wedding were a non

407
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,240
Speaker 3: negotiable for me. If I agreed to postpone to the

408
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,760
Speaker 3: year twenty thirty, then what's to stop him from saying, well,

409
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 3: it's been ten years. What's the point now he's definitely

410
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 3: gonna do that. We've barely spoken today. My eldest child

411
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,960
Speaker 3: has some intuition, despite the entire conversation taking place while

412
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 3: she slept last night, she had a prophetic dream, she did.

413
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,119
Speaker 3: She asked to see my wedding shoes, and I burst

414
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 3: into tears. Okay, me me, he sad.

415
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 4: I do believe her. The child had some intuition. Yeah,

416
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 4: it's also I love my child is so intuitive. She

417
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,639
Speaker 4: just knew Yeah, after I burst into tears, like she

418
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 4: knew something was wrong.

419
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 3: How did she know? She's so in touch with my emotions.

420
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,679
Speaker 3: I birthed three of his children. I should get to

421
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,920
Speaker 3: be a bride and have a special day that we've

422
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 3: been planning for five years. You should, but you paid

423
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,680
Speaker 3: one thousand dollars. That's really minding.

424
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,120
Speaker 4: And she brought it up and she's like, he has

425
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:51,359
Speaker 4: had so many opportunities, like there has been so much

426
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,720
Speaker 4: time to talk about this, and like cause I even like,

427
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 4: to some extent, I understand that reaction of like, well

428
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,920
Speaker 4: we've already gotten like married, Like if you're a person

429
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 4: where that's the important thing, that like, oh, well we

430
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:09,359
Speaker 4: are married, I can understand how after years, that expense

431
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,480
Speaker 4: and that event might not feel as exciting anymore.

432
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, you had so much time could have said to

433
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,640
Speaker 3: talk about that. I don't really want to do this

434
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 3: at it. Some people are still confused. We are legally

435
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 3: married and we live in Australia. This is a price

436
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 3: for a modest wedding and certainly nothing too grand. I

437
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,320
Speaker 3: was always happy to compromise on price and gave him

438
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 3: time to decide on how big the guestless is and

439
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 3: which venue to book. He's always had to say, and

440
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,639
Speaker 3: I've always been willing to meet him in the middle.

441
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 3: Is indifference just meant that I chose what I wanted

442
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,919
Speaker 3: and he never spoke up otherwise.

443
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:42,400
Speaker 5: Yeah.

444
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,879
Speaker 3: Comments comment one, he doesn't want to do it? Maybe

445
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,439
Speaker 3: he doesn't. Perhaps he was always going along with a

446
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,880
Speaker 3: plan to keep me happy, but now he's seen it out.

447
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 3: I have no idea. His response was guys don't dream

448
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 3: about their weddings like girls do. Reply maybe that's your angle.

449
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 3: What is it he dreams about? How what do he

450
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 3: feel if you agree to support his dream and then

451
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 3: rug pulled him on it? Reply? She already compromised and

452
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,439
Speaker 3: meanwhile had three of his children. The least he can

453
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 3: do is celebrate her for it and give her the

454
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,119
Speaker 3: wedding she deserves. If he backs out, now he's just

455
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 3: a butt that was leading her on all along, and

456
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,439
Speaker 3: he simply doesn't deserve a wife. O pie. He just

457
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,359
Speaker 3: spent upwards of six K on his dream when I

458
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 3: would have loved him to contribute more towards the wedding,

459
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 3: but I chose to support his dream and not say anything.

460
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,880
Speaker 3: What's his dream? Yeah? Comment to why does he really

461
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 3: want to postpone? Sounds like all he needs to do

462
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:32,959
Speaker 3: is turn up to the party in order to make

463
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 3: you happy, because that's the thing. Yeah. Because if he's like,

464
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 3: we're already married.

465
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 4: We don't need to get Why postpone it because your

466
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,479
Speaker 4: wife has said it's happened. Yeah, Like I wear enough

467
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 4: that that's understandable. If that's what she wants and that's

468
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 4: been said, then I think we're fine. So what is

469
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 4: the point of postponing Nothing?

470
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 3: He just wants to postpone until she forgets bit odd

471
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 3: if he can't be bothered to do that for you.

472
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,640
Speaker 3: He may not be fussed about it, but you are. However,

473
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 3: you are actually married. You want a party for the

474
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 3: whole experience, and I get that, but please separate wedding

475
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 3: reception from marriage because you already have a marriage. Your

476
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 3: relationship deserves to be celebrated if it's important for you

477
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 3: to experience this. So what's his reason for the delay

478
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,919
Speaker 3: when it's actually changing Nothing? Just money? Because if so,

479
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 3: he actually wants to cancel, not postpon. Oh pe yes,

480
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 3: all he had to do is show up. My parents

481
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 3: and myself are paying for the majority of it, and

482
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 3: I'm planning it all. I absolutely feel married, but I

483
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,920
Speaker 3: also feel I've been robbed of a special time because

484
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 3: of the pandemic. I deserve to be a bride. He

485
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,199
Speaker 3: just thinks the money could be better spent for an

486
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 3: investment property or something. But my parents and I have

487
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 3: saved for this occasion, not him. We own a home,

488
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 3: so if buying a second property gets put off for

489
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 3: a year or two, then what's the harm? And there

490
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,719
Speaker 3: is an update. Little burb says the man is one

491
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 3: hundred percent cheating. Whoa little burb? We have no proof.

492
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 4: Little b verb said, I was in Peru and I

493
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 4: saw I was birding in pro I was birding in Peru.

494
00:22:58,760 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 3: But there is an update.

495
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 4: Do you think, oh pee, you gotta sit your husband

496
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 4: down and say, hey, baby girl, exactly like that. Do

497
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 4: you want to pretend that husband, hey baby hello, I

498
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 4: need that wedding. I know that we're already married, and

499
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 4: I've loved these past five years with you.

500
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 3: Men to stop you really quick. Okay we are Australian.

501
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 3: Oh so just try for that. I really love you

502
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 3: and I really love these beast five years with you,

503
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 3: but I just really need this marriage.

504
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 4: Right Miniestopia is sick in house, consider a sick in hand.

505
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 3: We're putting all this into the wedding. We're already have

506
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 3: three four to second house. I love you all right?

507
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 3: Updates I have taken some advice and written a two

508
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,119
Speaker 3: page letter to my husband explaining all my hopes and

509
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 3: dreams and that a wedding was part of the dream

510
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 3: and something I'm not willing to compromise on. Perhaps, like

511
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:00,360
Speaker 3: someone suggested, we call it an anniversary party. I told

512
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 3: him I'm willing to wait until twenty thirty, but he

513
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 3: will be the one to cancel the venue, and he

514
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,159
Speaker 3: will be the one to tell our friends and family.

515
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 3: I won't be part of that communication. Hill, that's a

516
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 3: fair point. Oh my god. I also said I need

517
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 3: assurances that you won't pull the drum under me again.

518
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 3: I'm really at a loss that he could hurt me

519
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 3: this way. He knew how deeply important it was to me.

520
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 3: I'll update again after he reads the letter. It's been

521
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 3: a few days before we were able to talk. We

522
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,880
Speaker 3: had a really nice talk, and we were both communicating

523
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 3: really well. Because husband is not the best communicator. He

524
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 3: doesn't talk to me and tell me his inner struggles.

525
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 3: He's been very stressed with the business and I didn't

526
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 3: realize it was making him feel like he was drowning.

527
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 3: I think just having a high stress business with employees,

528
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 3: and then three little kids, was just getting to be

529
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 3: a lot. Then he had his wife planning a wedding

530
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,360
Speaker 3: on top of it, and I think he just cracked.

531
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 3: I do see now how I've added to his stress.

532
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 3: I have told him he needs to speak up more

533
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:59,119
Speaker 3: and learn to communicate better. We've been together nearly seven years.

534
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,360
Speaker 3: He also said he hates being the center of attention,

535
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 3: and you can tell they're Australian because there's that at

536
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,120
Speaker 3: the end. Yeh the sinner and has never had any

537
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 3: care that it's his birthday. He said he would have

538
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 3: preferred a small ceremony under twenty people. I said that

539
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 3: I was always okay with that, but it didn't ever

540
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 3: communicate it to me, and I'm not a mind reader.

541
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 3: I've also communicated to him the importance of the special

542
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 3: day that was promised. I had my heart set on it,

543
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 3: and that feeling is never going to go away. Because

544
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,479
Speaker 3: he's been so negative about this wedding this time around.

545
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 3: I don't feel like I want to stand up there

546
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 3: in a gown with someone who doesn't want to be

547
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 3: up there with me.

548
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm a little bit scared. I'm getting scared again.

549
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 4: I want to give him time to get excited about it.

550
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 4: There is a little bit left to this story, any

551
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 4: final thought. I got a little bit scared right at

552
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 4: the end, little when she's like, I don't know if

553
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,400
Speaker 4: I want to be up. I get where she's coming

554
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,400
Speaker 4: from that she's like, this has been a negative experience.

555
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 3: I want to wait for the next one.

556
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 4: Or it's not twenty thirty yet. No, so I don't

557
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 4: know what this new update exactly. I wrote letters to

558
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 4: my exes after breakups. It helped to get all my

559
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 4: feelings out. Never gave them to anybody, but it did

560
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 4: help me process feelings. Slay, look at you. You're killing

561
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 4: good job, you're killing it real people. Yeah, there is

562
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 4: a little bit left. I think that.

563
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,880
Speaker 3: Op. Just keep having those conversations. Tell your husband that

564
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 3: if he ever has any feelings that will affect effectively

565
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,719
Speaker 3: lose you one thousand dollars, bring him up before we

566
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,560
Speaker 3: spend one thousand dollars. But there is a little bit left.

567
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 3: I don't want to add any more stress to his life,

568
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 3: but I still want to work towards our special day.

569
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 3: I think for next year instead, maybe we could do

570
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 3: a family photo shoot for a five year at wedding

571
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 3: anniversary and then in twenty thirty, we can have our

572
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 3: ten year anniversary vow renewal and reception, and I get

573
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 3: to wear a wedding gown and I get to be

574
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 3: a bride. Finally, I'll be about thirty five years old.

575
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 3: So not out of the question. I think I'm just

576
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 3: accepting that the pandemic ruined a lot of special times

577
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,959
Speaker 3: for people. I'm disappointed that he's not excited to have

578
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,680
Speaker 3: this special day with me, but I'm accepting that it's

579
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 3: not meant to be next year. Update three. Now, now

580
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 3: he's back pedaling and saying it's next year or never. Okay,

581
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 3: we got a okay, okay, get that deposit back, get

582
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 3: people go, getting back to my face deeply. Okay, but

583
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 3: now I don't want to Wow girl, he doesn't want

584
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,239
Speaker 3: to and uses the words let's get it over with.

585
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,959
Speaker 3: This is meant to be fun. This is not fun.

586
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 3: I am so confused. I'm confused to girl. But there

587
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,160
Speaker 3: is nothing more to that story, so we really don't know.

588
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 3: That was the update.

589
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

590
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: Here.

591
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

592
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 2: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

593
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 3: My husband lied to me to make himself look like

594
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 3: a better man. That's my quip, just a thumbs down.

595
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 3: I twenty five female, have been married to my husband,

596
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 3: twenty six male for three years. He has two male

597
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 3: friends from a job he used to work at who

598
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 3: are both also married. Let's call them Holden and Cameron.

599
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Expensive House three two

600
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 3: three on the r slash two hot takes subbrend it

601
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 3: and if you want to smit your own stories, go

602
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay, storytime subrend it. So he

603
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 3: has been friends with them for a round two and

604
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 3: since then we have all moved to different states. These

605
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 3: are friends that he has had over for adult sodas

606
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 3: here and there, but mainly they like to call, text

607
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:13,160
Speaker 3: and play video games on some weekends. I personally do

608
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,119
Speaker 3: not like Cameron. This is because he isn't respectful of

609
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 3: his wife. They all used to have a female coworker

610
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 3: that Cameron would constantly hit on and try to ask out.

611
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,359
Speaker 3: He would tell my husband how much he wanted to

612
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 3: sleep with her, despite him having a wife and daughter

613
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 3: at home. I told my husband he should let the

614
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 3: wife know, but neither of us had or contact information

615
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,679
Speaker 3: as we had never met her. In person. When he

616
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 3: moved to a different state, his wife stayed behind since

617
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 3: it was only going to be training for a few months,

618
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 3: and that's when things got worse with him. Cameron had

619
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 3: informed both my husband and Holden that he had told

620
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 3: his wife he wanted a divorce and did not want

621
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 3: to have any custody of his child, Nikes. This turned

622
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 3: out not to be true, as his wife had no

623
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 3: idea he was planning on leaving her, and instead he

624
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 3: had been ghosting his wife, not respons to any calls

625
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 3: or texts for weeks. I was not shy about my

626
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 3: dislike for Cameron and did tell my husband that he

627
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 3: was no longer welcome in my home and that I

628
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 3: was no longer comfortable with them hanging out together, which

629
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 3: my husband was just fine with since they really didn't

630
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 3: hang out much to begin with. They would still occasionally

631
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 3: play games online together and text on a group chat

632
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 3: that a lot of their old coworkers still had. Holden

633
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 3: had also told us that Cameron had gotten on dating

634
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 3: apps and began sleeping around with multiple women. He even

635
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 3: went as far as to send Holden a video of

636
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 3: him having a menatine. This was the straw that broke

637
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 3: the camel's back. Holden felt disgusted that he was sent

638
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 3: this video without consent, and his wife was livid, understandably,

639
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 3: so after this, Holden decided to drop Cameron and go

640
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 3: no contact, no confrontation or anything. Okay, all right, Holden

641
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 3: ghosted him like Cameron was doing to his wife. Dang,

642
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 3: a little crazy, a little kid. I don't think those

643
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 3: two are the same. I feel like he's trying to

644
00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 3: create comparison. I don't think those two. I don't know

645
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:01,479
Speaker 3: if they were trying to create a comparison. So much

646
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 3: is just like a zinger. Oh oh like Cameron, Yeah,

647
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 3: I see, I see could be. Yesterday I had asked

648
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 3: my husband if he was still talking to Cameron, and

649
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 3: he informed me that he was not. He went on

650
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 3: and on about how Cameron hadn't even reached out to

651
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 3: him because he made himself clear about how he was

652
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 3: not okay with what Cameron was doing to his marriage

653
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 3: and all that heck he was putting his wife through.

654
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 3: He said he had more of a spine than Holden did.

655
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 3: Since Holden wouldn't even inform Cameron that they were no

656
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 3: longer friends, Dang, you didn't need to throw shade on Holden,

657
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 3: if your friend sends you just a super explicit, disgusting video,

658
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 3: I don't think you need to be like, hey, dude,

659
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 3: that wasn't cool. We're not friends anymore. I think you

660
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 3: can just drop him.

661
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, bless and like we were saying, if this

662
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 4: is in fact the lie, Yeah, it feels like he's

663
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 4: starting to do too much about being like and Holden was.

664
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 3: A coward like me, I'm a real man. Today, my

665
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 3: husband gets a call from Cameron. The call was nothing

666
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 3: important in particular, but what really threw me was how

667
00:30:56,040 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 3: Cameron was not acting like anything was different but my

668
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 3: husband and him maybe because nothing is different. He mentioned

669
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 3: that Holden hasn't spoken to him in two weeks, and

670
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 3: then the call pretty much ended there. I then asked

671
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 3: my husband if him and Cameron still talked, and he

672
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 3: admitted that they still do. Here and there, I felt hurt.

673
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 3: To be clear, I did not care if my husband

674
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 3: was talking to Cameron. I wasn't the biggest fan of

675
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 3: the idea, but he's an adult and as long as

676
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,959
Speaker 3: he wasn't hanging out with him, that was good by me. However,

677
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 3: the fact that he put on a big show about

678
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 3: how he was more of a man than Holden because

679
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 3: he stood on business when Holden wasn't willing to, and

680
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 3: that Cameron felt too embarrassed to even reach out to

681
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 3: my husband because he knows my husband's standards. Only to

682
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 3: actually be talking to him and not ever telling Cameron

683
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 3: that he has issues with what he's doing in his marriage,

684
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 3: it felt like such a sham. Yeah. I got upset

685
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 3: and told him he was all bark in no bite,

686
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 3: and that at least Holden actually stood on business because

687
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 3: he at least followed through with what he said he

688
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 3: was going to do, and that for this I respected

689
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 3: Holden more than them. Oh that's going to really get

690
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 3: to PE's husband. It's fair. Though.

691
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 4: It's also at this point that I'd like to point

692
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 4: out my earlier equip of having we all been.

693
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 3: There, I have not been here.

694
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 4: When I said I lied to make myself look like

695
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 4: a better man, that's like, yeah, I'm good at bulling.

696
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 4: And then I absolutely just entered on the lane. Yeah,

697
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 4: none of this is that you have stayed friends with

698
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 4: a roast. Yeahdudy, I said, Yeah, I've read bridon prejudice.

699
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 3: This really upset my husband. He said he didn't like

700
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 3: that I insinuated that he wasn't a man of honor

701
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 3: Q Hamilton, and that he felt emasculated with that statement.

702
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 3: It's just going to be saying no to this on repeat.

703
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 3: I don't know, Maybe you should have been a man

704
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 3: of honor. Yeah, if you want to be called a

705
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 3: man of honor, maybe he should have been one. You

706
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 3: kind of have to act honorably. That's kind of the

707
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 3: first step. He told me that if I respect Holden

708
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 3: so much that I should go in E F Holden then,

709
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 3: which is not something my husband has ever said to me,

710
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 3: and it really hurt that it went there. I think

711
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 3: I may have been too harsh with what I said no,

712
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 3: but I don't appreciate being lied to or being talked

713
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 3: to like that. He is still hurt by the statement

714
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,239
Speaker 3: that I made, and now I don't know what to do.

715
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 3: I don't like feeling like my husband is condoning this

716
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 3: behavior from his friend. He is, But what really bothers

717
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 3: me is him trying to make himself look good and

718
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 3: putting down his other friend when he wasn't telling the

719
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 3: truth about the situation. So what do I do from here?

720
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 3: And am I the a hole? There is an update folks.

721
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 4: But I go to my second quip, which I stand by,

722
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 4: which is, yeah, big old thumbs down, big old thumbs down.

723
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 3: For all our podcast listeners. Ms I forgot. I think

724
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 3: appease a little bit too chill about the fact that

725
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 3: he's even talking to this. Yeah, this is bad. This

726
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 3: is bad. Like the pretty clearsal, very clear, very clear.

727
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 3: I just think that you need to have that conversation

728
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 3: with your husband, say, hey, it doesn't look great for

729
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 3: you that you're still talking to a guy who's actively

730
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 3: cheating on his wife. Don't want to tell his wife

731
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 3: about this because I mean, honestly, probably could get the

732
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 3: wives contact information if you really wanted to. I'm miss it.

733
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 3: I'm gonna hit the breakup button.

734
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think, especially after when he's like, what are

735
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 4: you go, Mary Holden then excepted more crass terms.

736
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 3: I don't like that. I don't like it. I don't

737
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 3: like that they are married.

738
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 4: I'm sending her to Australia to get married to the

739
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 4: Australian couple, right, I'm sort of playing matchmaker now with

740
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 4: these or what I'm doing is I'm gonna pick all

741
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 4: of the wives out because that's usually the people. Yeah,

742
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:30,399
Speaker 4: who I think can work it out. Yeah, and I'm

743
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 4: just gonna have them get married. Intead in Australia.

744
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 3: To answer some questions and things I saw in the comments,

745
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 3: Holden and Cameron were friends with each other for a

746
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 3: few years before my husband met either of them. Olden

747
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,800
Speaker 3: was the closest with Cameron, and my husband was closer

748
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 3: to Holden than he was to Cameron. I've only met

749
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 3: Cameron twice, both briefly when he came over to our

750
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 3: house for some adult sodas and video games. My husband

751
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 3: has never hung out with him outside of work. Besides

752
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 3: that and when they would go to work out at

753
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 3: the gym that their work at. Neither my husband or

754
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:03,399
Speaker 3: I had Cameron's wife's information. I did try to find

755
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 3: her on multiple social media platforms, but her name is

756
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,840
Speaker 3: very common and since I have never seen her before,

757
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 3: it was hard to locate her. My husband does not

758
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 3: have any social media besides YouTube. I do want to

759
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 3: preface that I have never told my husband that I

760
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 3: did not want him texting Cameron. Was I a fan

761
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 3: of the idea, No, But he's an adult and free

762
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 3: to make his own choices, and so I never even

763
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 3: had asked him to. I did however, say that Cameron

764
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 3: was no longer welcome in my home. My husband saw

765
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 3: no issue with this and agreed this is something that

766
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 3: is not really a factor for us anymore anyways, since

767
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 3: we have moved away, so they never see each other

768
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 3: in person and haven't for months. My issue was the

769
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 3: fact that he had lied to me about not talking

770
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 3: to Cameron and went to bash his other friend when

771
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:48,360
Speaker 3: there wasn't any truth behind that, not the fact that

772
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 3: he was messaging Cameron. Now for the update, my husband

773
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 3: and I did sit down and talk with each other

774
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 3: earlier today, and while I feel like we both have

775
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 3: a bit more we need to discuss and work on,

776
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 3: I feel like we are making a good start with things. Okay,

777
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 3: I think easy solution we get this guy more friends.

778
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,840
Speaker 3: I'm deeply skeptical.

779
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 4: Me too, n I think he just doesn't have enough friends.

780
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 4: I think he's only got two friends. I mean, with

781
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 4: the way that he's actually I just can't get over.

782
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 4: Then well then you should go f Holden, But I can't.

783
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 4: I can't let go of that any updates. I think

784
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 4: he's let go of it too quickly. Yes, agreed, I

785
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 4: apologized for comparing him to Holden and for not being

786
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 4: mature and how I discussed my anger. I also apologized

787
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,800
Speaker 4: for saying I respected his friend more than him in

788
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 4: the moment, because I really do have a lot of

789
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 4: respect for my husband and have always thought.

790
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 3: Highly of him. I am not someone who likes to

791
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 3: discuss things when my emotions are high, and that got

792
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 3: the better of me. It is something I am going

793
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 3: to be a lot more conscious of from here on

794
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 3: out and really tried to work on. He apologized for

795
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 3: making things seem one way when that wasn't really the truth.

796
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 3: He did say that he had told Cameron that he

797
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:56,360
Speaker 3: did not like hearing about all of his escapades trying

798
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 3: to live a single life while still married, and that

799
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 3: Cameron had stopped messaging him about that specifically. So that's

800
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 3: totally different than calling your friend out for doing that.

801
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 3: You just told him you don't want to hear about it.

802
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 3: You're the military right now. You just said, don't ask,

803
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 3: don't tell.

804
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 4: I'm going to send all of these people to the

805
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 4: woodworking Reddit. Yeah, I think that's really I think they're

806
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 4: going to go to a cabin in the woods, don't

807
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 4: talk to anybody.

808
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 3: Wood for a year, come back a better man. I

809
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 3: like it. I like it. That's the only true way

810
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:26,840
Speaker 3: that you become a better man. But he did admit

811
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 3: that he never went further than that, such as telling

812
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 3: him that he wasn't wanting to have a friendship game

813
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,839
Speaker 3: with him, Oh sorry, friendship come a game with him,

814
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 3: et cetera, and that they were still occasionally messaging about

815
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 3: other things. He also apologized for the gov holding comments

816
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 3: and said that he did feel emasculated because he has

817
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 3: been struggling because he thinks his testosterone levels or lowered

818
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 3: that he wants them to be both his dad and

819
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 3: brother of low testosterone. He said he has been wrestling

820
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 3: with the idea that he has low testosterone for months now,

821
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:57,879
Speaker 3: and now he feels like he's less of a man

822
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 3: because of it.

823
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 4: So what I mean, this is what I said about

824
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 4: all the other stories do is that these all sort

825
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,720
Speaker 4: of devolve into being like, let me give you six

826
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 4: million specifics and situations and ideas.

827
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:14,640
Speaker 3: So it's like that makes no sense. A couple months ago,

828
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 3: he started thinking about his testosterone levels.

829
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 4: He's I don't know, they just feel low. I haven't

830
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 4: actually gone to the doctors about this, but I just

831
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,280
Speaker 4: I just love about every update. It's like the first

832
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 4: part is always like, oh, like mothers didn't go on

833
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,279
Speaker 4: pland and by the third update, we're like, well.

834
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 3: A farm. And what you really have to consider is

835
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 3: that there's there's layers, man, there's layers for some context.

836
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 3: There he fits all the symptoms for it. Our spicy

837
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 3: sleep life has been a lot less than it used

838
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 3: to be. He's tired all the time, he's been pretty irritable,

839
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 3: et cetera. I told him that there was nothing to

840
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 3: be embarrassed about, and how it doesn't make him less

841
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 3: of a man, and to go to speak to a

842
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 3: doctor to try and talk through it and figure out

843
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 3: a route to take and they'll support him. I did

844
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 3: say that while I want to be there for him

845
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 3: and that I do think he's a man, that doesn't

846
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,320
Speaker 3: excuse the comment that he made. Now it's not okay

847
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 3: to speak to his wife that way, and if he

848
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 3: wants to feel like a man, he does also need

849
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 3: to act like a man and be honest in all

850
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,319
Speaker 3: aspects of his life, both with me and his friendships.

851
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 3: He did give me his phone and let me look

852
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,400
Speaker 3: through their past conversations because I mentioned I felt weird

853
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 3: about the video, the spicy video their messages were pretty dry,

854
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 3: mainly talking about music and old coworkers. But while I

855
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 3: did not find that video anywhere, I did find a

856
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 3: group chat with the three of them from about a

857
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,760
Speaker 3: month ago where Cameron had sent Holden and my husband

858
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 3: some partially unclothed pictures of a trans woman he was seeing.

859
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,280
Speaker 3: This upset me. I found it really disturbing and disrespectful

860
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 3: that Cameron had sent this to them, and that neither

861
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 3: Holden or my husband said anything. They just carried on

862
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 3: with the conversation like nothing had happened. And I feel

863
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 3: like the fact that none of them are acknowledging it

864
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 3: feels like they probably have done it before, Like you

865
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 3: gotta put your foot down. When I confronted my husband

866
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 3: on this, he just did. He ignored the photo and

867
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,759
Speaker 3: they moved on. That's not how that works. There is

868
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 3: a little bit left to this story, but any thoughts

869
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 3: on what OPE should do in this situation? Break up? Yeah,

870
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,800
Speaker 3: out of the I mean they are married, so it

871
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 3: would be divorce. I do think you guys need to

872
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 3: go to therapy because it is pretty concerning that he

873
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 3: doesn't see any problems with this, Like I wouldn't want

874
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 3: to be in a relationship with someone who thinks this

875
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 3: is okay to one not tell you about and two

876
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 3: also just okay that like he's being sent this and

877
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 3: not putting any boundaries up there. I don't like this, dude.

878
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,880
Speaker 3: I don't like divorce. I sign the paper's gone. This

879
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 3: is something I am still kind of struggling with. Do

880
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 3: men send their friends, especially married friends, noodles or videos

881
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,959
Speaker 3: of women there seeing no, they shouldn't be. I don't

882
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 3: like that. I felt brushed off when I addressed that

883
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 3: to him, But I am so tired of feeling crazy.

884
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 3: I don't like to look through his phone or feel

885
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,879
Speaker 3: like I'm obsessing over his friendships. That has never been

886
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:00,799
Speaker 3: who I am, and I feel like I'm turning into

887
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:04,720
Speaker 3: someone who is and who overthinks and it's honestly crazy,

888
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:06,760
Speaker 3: and folks have the end of that story.

889
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,399
Speaker 1: I discovered my girlfriend's credit card debt and I want

890
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:10,920
Speaker 1: to leave her.

891
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 3: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

892
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 2: If it is broke, get out of here. I guess so.

893
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,320
Speaker 1: I twenty nine mail, recently broke up with my girlfriend, Lisa,

894
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 1: twenty eight female after dating for a year. My friends

895
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 1: think I'm a huge a hole to break up with

896
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 1: someone over money, but I feel that I did the

897
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,480
Speaker 1: right thing. One of my friends suggested me to post

898
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 1: here so that I can see I'm making.

899
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:31,879
Speaker 2: The biggest mistake of my life.

900
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user throwaway bad Boyfriend

901
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: twelve twelve and if you want to submit your own stories,

902
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:40,320
Speaker 1: go to the r slash okay storytime subbreddit for context.

903
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 1: I have a comfortable job now, and financially I'm in

904
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 1: a great place. I grew up poor and had to

905
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 1: scrap through most of my college on scholarships. Luckily, I

906
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 1: found good mentors in college and was able to finish

907
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 1: my PhD in a very lucrative field. I know what

908
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,879
Speaker 1: it's like to have nothing and am very frugal with

909
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 1: my resources. I met Lisa a year ago on a

910
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: dating Apple. Is beautiful, smart, and very charming. Our relationship

911
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,879
Speaker 1: has been great so far, and we have never had

912
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 1: any real fights or differences. She also has great taste,

913
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 1: which I lack, and helped me with my wardrobe and

914
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,840
Speaker 1: making my apartment only. Her lease was supposed to be

915
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 1: up in a few months, and I asked her to

916
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 1: move in with me. She was incredibly happy and agreed

917
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 1: to it. However, we decided to discuss finances and other

918
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 1: important things before we take that next step. Two weeks ago,

919
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 1: we sat down and I made an Excel spreadsheet to

920
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: decide how we're going to pay for stuff. I knew

921
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 1: I made significantly more than her, and I offered we

922
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 1: pay proportionally, which she happily agreed to. For that purpose,

923
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 1: I asked her how much she makes, and it was

924
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: lower than I would have anticipated based on her lifestyle.

925
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 1: I asked her how she affords all the designer bags

926
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 1: and going to fancy vacations on that salary. She looked

927
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 1: embarrassed and told me that she has around twenty thousand

928
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 1: dollars in credit card debt. I knew about her student loans,

929
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 1: but that did not bother me. However, I realized she

930
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 1: spends way more than she can afford and had no

931
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 1: real answers on how she plans to pay back the

932
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,760
Speaker 1: credit card balance. She told me that moving in together

933
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 1: would help towards paying off the debt, as her monthly

934
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 1: living expenses would go down significantly and she can pay

935
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 1: that towards the debt. She told me she would be

936
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 1: debt free within a year if we moved in together. However,

937
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 1: she also told me she could not be on the

938
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 1: lease as she has a poor credit history. All that

939
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,439
Speaker 1: led me to rethink our whole relationship.

940
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 3: That is a big part.

941
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 5: If you're planning on having a family together, moving in together,

942
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 5: you know their financial issues will become your own, so

943
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 5: that is a big thing to consider.

944
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 1: I was looking forward to a long term relationship and

945
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: also marrying her one day. However, based on what I've

946
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 1: seen so far, she is very irresponsible with money. I

947
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 1: have trauma from childhood where my father would spend money

948
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,280
Speaker 1: on gambling and on fancy items to impress his friends

949
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 1: that we couldn't afford, and that meant we barely were

950
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 1: scraping by. My mother kept the house together and made

951
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: sure we had food on the table. I cannot be

952
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 1: with a person who was so irresponsible with money and

953
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 1: suffers like my mother did.

954
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 2: I communicated that to Lisa. She was upset with me.

955
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 1: She told me that she's not asking for handouts and

956
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 1: she'll take care of her debt. She told me that

957
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 1: she made some dumb decisions years ago and is just

958
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: caught in a bad loop with credit cards. She's also

959
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 1: said that she's willing to learn from me, as her

960
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 1: parents never taught her about how to handle money. She

961
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: also pointed out things I learned from her that I lacked.

962
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 1: She asked me to give her time, but I just

963
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: don't think I can play the same role as my mother.

964
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:23,959
Speaker 1: We talked about it for a while and I told

965
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,879
Speaker 1: her we cannot move in together until she takes care

966
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:27,399
Speaker 1: of the debt.

967
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 2: She said she.

968
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 1: Cannot afford to live on her own and take care

969
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 1: of it, and finally we broke up over that. She

970
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:34,839
Speaker 1: still wants to get back together, but I told her

971
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 1: I need time to think. My friends love Lisa and

972
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: feels that she is a perfect partner for me. They

973
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 1: think she has made me into a better person, and

974
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: I'm stupid to throw away a perfectly good relationship over

975
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: something that can be fixed. I just don't think I

976
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 1: trust her to change, and I know that eventually I

977
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 1: will end up supporting her lifestyle if we get married,

978
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 1: since money would not be an issue at that point

979
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 1: for her. Am I the a hole to break up

980
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 1: over this? And am I throwing away a perfectly good

981
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:58,879
Speaker 1: relationship over money?

982
00:44:58,960 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 2: Yes?

983
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,799
Speaker 1: You are both of those, especially at the end there

984
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 1: you literally, buddy, you're missing the logic, and it makes

985
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 1: sense because you have trauma. Your trauma is informing you

986
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 1: right now, which is if we're conscious of it. We

987
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:12,879
Speaker 1: need to be aware that it's our trauma that's making

988
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 1: us do this. Finally, it all came down to me

989
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 1: missing her a lot. Ah He's like I remembered, I

990
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: love her and I miss her. I do not have

991
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: a therapist, but I called my mom and visited her

992
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 1: over the next weekend to talk about what had happened.

993
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:29,479
Speaker 1: My mom loves Lisa and they get along really well.

994
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:31,720
Speaker 1: She was surprised that we had broken up, but didn't

995
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 1: know why. I explained to her what I was thinking.

996
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 1: I told her about what I observed based on their

997
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 1: relationship with money and how I am worried about Lisa's

998
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: luxurious lifestyle and debt. My mom advised me not to

999
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 1: let any issue in their relationship affect how I think,

1000
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 1: as everyone's situation is different. My dad had a gambling problem,

1001
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:54,320
Speaker 1: and although he made good money, he lost a significant

1002
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: amount of it a few times when he had relapsed.

1003
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 1: That led my parents to be in severe debt and

1004
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 1: us having a very difficult child. My mom explained that

1005
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 1: although my dad did make mistakes. The main reason she

1006
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 1: stayed with him was because he was a good dad

1007
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 1: to me. She said that Lisa does not have to

1008
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 1: be equal to me financially, as long as she makes

1009
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,240
Speaker 1: my life better in different ways. My mother also pointed

1010
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:14,759
Speaker 1: out to me that I have a good job and

1011
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 1: Lisa makes me very happy. She asked me to consider

1012
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 1: giving her a second chance and see if she is

1013
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 1: willing to learn and improve, which we already know she was.

1014
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, she knew that it was wrong.

1015
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:24,400
Speaker 2: So oh.

1016
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 1: He made all these decisions based on a place of

1017
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 1: fear and trauma, which is never a great place to

1018
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,359
Speaker 1: be informed by. I talked to Lisa the next week

1019
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 1: and indicated that I'm willing to work through things. She

1020
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:35,800
Speaker 1: came to my apartment the next Saturday with her laptop

1021
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 1: and started showing me all her finances and why she's

1022
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 1: in so much debt. Lisa had a great childhood and

1023
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:43,319
Speaker 1: her parents always bought everything she asked for. She did

1024
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 1: have to take student loans, but her parents would always

1025
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:48,240
Speaker 1: buy her nice gifts as that was their love language.

1026
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:51,360
Speaker 1: After graduation, reality hit her as she was not making

1027
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 1: as much money as she thought she would. Her parents

1028
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:55,959
Speaker 1: financially cut her off as she had a job.

1029
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 2: I hate that, dude.

1030
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 1: It's like, you're just what whatever it's it's fine, would

1031
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,279
Speaker 1: go a way to set your kid up for absolute financial.

1032
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 3: Failure, right right, great job parent.

1033
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,040
Speaker 1: For the first few years, she tried to keep up

1034
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 1: with the same lifestyle and didn't understand how much the

1035
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,879
Speaker 1: interests actually cost on her credit cards. She was now

1036
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 1: in severe debt and barely able to keep up with

1037
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 1: the credit card and student loan payments. She showed me

1038
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 1: that a huge percentage of her income just goes to

1039
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,959
Speaker 1: paying off these cards. Her sisters are doing much better

1040
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: than her financially, and she tries to keep up the

1041
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: facade that she is also doing well by going on

1042
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 1: nice vacations that they plan. She knows it's wrong, but

1043
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 1: she just got caught up and told me that she

1044
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,879
Speaker 1: would be willing to change if it means we get

1045
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 1: to be together. Most of the designer bags and stuff

1046
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 1: are gifts from her parents. No one in her family

1047
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 1: knows about her debt. There is a little bit more

1048
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 1: that is important.

1049
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,800
Speaker 5: To know that, like those designer bags and things are gifts,

1050
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 5: She's not buying that right. So it's this whole thing

1051
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,359
Speaker 5: that have been fixed with a longer conversation about all

1052
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 5: the details of her spending habits, and unfortunately that didn't happen.

1053
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 5: Hopefully you guys, can you know, get back together she

1054
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 5: wanted to.

1055
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, I think that's on the I think

1056
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 2: we're on that road.

1057
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 1: Okay, good if he's lucky enough that she's like, yeah,

1058
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:11,320
Speaker 1: I'll come back after you reduce me to a number,

1059
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 1: which is fair because this is all coming from like

1060
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 1: legit trauma. Yes, And he was like, I know it,

1061
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,240
Speaker 1: I see it, I see it. So I'm not gonna

1062
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 1: let her do the same thing my dad did to

1063
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:21,759
Speaker 1: my mom, like.

1064
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:25,200
Speaker 5: And like that is honestly fine to make decisions based

1065
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 5: off of that. So you know, I don't blame op

1066
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 5: I guess for thinking that way, because especially in relationships,

1067
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:33,560
Speaker 5: like you know, if you were in a relationship where

1068
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 5: maybe this was a problem and then it turned out

1069
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 5: bad and you're like okay, never again, then.

1070
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 3: Like sure, I get that.

1071
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 5: But if you really love this woman and you really

1072
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 5: do want to work something out and this is like

1073
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 5: the only thing that yeah, the only reason why it wouldn't,

1074
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 5: then maybe give it a chance, work with it.

1075
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's he's thinking in the future. He's like, well,

1076
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: when we get married, she's gonna do. It's like, but

1077
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 1: you're not married, you're moving in together, so it's like,

1078
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,280
Speaker 1: this is a perfect opportunity for you to see anyway

1079
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 1: exactly if you've got trauma, which you probably do, and

1080
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,920
Speaker 1: if it's getting in the way of you your life, ye,

1081
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 1: which it could be, go to therapy. What I would

1082
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 1: suggest to Opie to get over is financial trauma.

1083
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 2: Let's finish this story.

1084
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 1: She has offered me to manage all of her finances

1085
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 1: when she moves in with me and only give her

1086
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,239
Speaker 1: an allowance for spending on fun activities. I don't think

1087
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:17,240
Speaker 1: that's appropriate for me to do. However, I did offer

1088
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 1: to take care of our living expenses until she repays

1089
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 1: her debt. She insists she still would want to contribute

1090
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,240
Speaker 1: her share proportionally based on our income. I earn almost

1091
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 1: ten times as much as her and live very modestly,

1092
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 1: so her share of our expenses would be pretty small.

1093
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:32,760
Speaker 1: We agreed to that that alone should help a long

1094
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 1: way in her quickly paying off her cards. I felt

1095
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 1: she was genuine and she was asking me a lot

1096
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:39,879
Speaker 1: of questions on how she can pay the cards off.

1097
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:40,280
Speaker 2: Quickly.

1098
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: I still feel she does not really understand how high

1099
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:45,040
Speaker 1: the credit card debt interests are, and we will look

1100
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:48,080
Speaker 1: into doing something to get that down. Overall, I feel

1101
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 1: good about my decision and I'm excited for her to

1102
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,560
Speaker 1: move in with me. We just lock everyone, and again,

1103
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 1: thanks for sharing your stories in the previous post. They

1104
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 1: helped me a lot. And that is the end of

1105
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 1: that story.

1106
00:49:58,320 --> 00:49:58,960
Speaker 3: Well good.

1107
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:00,360
Speaker 2: I still hope go to.

1108
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: Therapy to move through that therapy and address it and

1109
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 1: process it fully, because it felt like, you know, again,

1110
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 1: it's like you can make that decision where it's like, oh, well,

1111
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 1: if someone is irresponsible with their money, I don't want

1112
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 1: to date.

1113
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 2: Them or be with it.

1114
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:12,320
Speaker 3: Breaker.

1115
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 2: You can make that decision.

1116
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 1: Sure, that's one thing, but it felt like he was

1117
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 1: fully making that decision from a place of like fight

1118
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,359
Speaker 1: or flight, which is not where you should be making

1119
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,240
Speaker 1: that decision. Yeah, it just comes down to the context

1120
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:26,279
Speaker 1: of where it's coming from, and that's that, you know.

1121
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 1: So I again, I hope because it didn't really get

1122
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 1: mentioned in the post, but I hope Ope pursues.

1123
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:31,840
Speaker 2: Some kind of therapy.

1124
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:34,320
Speaker 1: You know, once you're once you're like convinced you're predicting

1125
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:35,200
Speaker 1: the whole future.

1126
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, not a good time.

1127
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 2: It's like you've you've got something there informing your your.

1128
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:41,359
Speaker 3: Thought pattern to pay attention to.

1129
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 2: Me that makes me think of things as well.

1130
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 6: We can all go for some self reflection. Everyone turning

1131
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 6: it off. That's the end of that. Still, Hey, it's

1132
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:54,920
Speaker 6: John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1133
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 1: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1134
00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 1: that keep the show going.

1135
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 7: I'm refusing to pay back my sister because she told

1136
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 7: me I didn't have to, and no Takesia's back seas

1137
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 7: I twenty one female. I've been in a pretty bad

1138
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 7: financial situation for the last year. I had surgery on

1139
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 7: my knee last year and due to that, I lost

1140
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 7: my job. So while I was recovering, my fiance twenty

1141
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 7: three Mel, took on extra hours. After five months, I

1142
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 7: was clear to start working. However, I needed to be

1143
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 7: careful with my leg and try not to overwork myself.

1144
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:29,399
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from Exotic Armadillo ninety nine.

1145
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:30,800
Speaker 7: And if you want to make your own stories, go

1146
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 7: to your size show. Okay, story don I'm sel Bredde.

1147
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:34,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, you silly goose, won't you head over there?

1148
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,879
Speaker 7: So so I searched for a job, and I got

1149
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 7: a job fast food joint. Unfortunately, that didn't last very long.

1150
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,359
Speaker 7: After six months of me being there, laid a bunch

1151
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 7: of people off and I was one of them, so

1152
00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:48,720
Speaker 7: once again without a job. During this time, my fiance

1153
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 7: was also laid off. However, that quickly changed as we

1154
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 7: applied for the dash of the doors and I started

1155
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:58,439
Speaker 7: dashing full time. We made barely enough money to where

1156
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 7: we could cover our bills. During this time, my mom

1157
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:03,799
Speaker 7: offered to help meet with some of the bills, so

1158
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,239
Speaker 7: I took the opportunity. She started to pay for my

1159
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,960
Speaker 7: phone bill my insurance, which combined was about three hundred

1160
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 7: bucks a month.

1161
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 2: I understand.

1162
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 7: I understand, like maybe two hundred bucks in your car insurance,

1163
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 7: but like, how much is your phone bill?

1164
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 2: Wait? Did they say they had three hundred bucks a

1165
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:22,080
Speaker 2: month in bills for just their phone and car insurance?

1166
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,719
Speaker 2: But oh, the car insurance could be really high. The

1167
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 2: phone bill can be I mean the phone bill can

1168
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 2: be a hundred bucks.

1169
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:29,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, iday depending on if they have kids,

1170
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 1: how many people are on the line, Like, how many

1171
00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:31,360
Speaker 1: people were.

1172
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,760
Speaker 7: This allowed me to pay some of my medical bills

1173
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 7: for my surgery. This is where my sister called them

1174
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 7: was in let's call her Anna. My sister, sixteen, wanted

1175
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 7: to go with me to the flea market and spend

1176
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:42,799
Speaker 7: the day with me. I told her, as long as

1177
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,439
Speaker 7: she pays for gas, I take her out.

1178
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 2: She agreed. She spent one hundred and fifty dollars on

1179
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 2: me and then bought us food. Afterwards.

1180
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 7: I told her that I pay her back soon. However,

1181
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 7: she just said not to worry about it since she

1182
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 7: did this willingly. And I said okay, and we went

1183
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 7: home nice. Okay, seems like a gift. That was an agreement.

1184
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,399
Speaker 7: She has made a verbal agreement right there. Yep, there

1185
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 7: we go. A few weeks later, I called my mom

1186
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 7: and asked her if she'd pay the phone bill. Yet

1187
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 7: she said no and she didn't have the money. My

1188
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,840
Speaker 7: sister overheard this and offered to pay it for me.

1189
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 7: I told her she didn't have to, but she sent

1190
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:16,879
Speaker 7: me the money one hundred and thirty bucks. Anyways, after

1191
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 7: a couple of weeks, I tried to give her the

1192
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 7: money and she told me not to worry about it.

1193
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:22,799
Speaker 7: But I asked her if she was sure. She said yes,

1194
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:25,640
Speaker 7: that we were sisters, and we shouldn't have to worry

1195
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:26,919
Speaker 7: about paying each other back.

1196
00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:29,239
Speaker 2: Sister, we're sisters, dah.

1197
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 7: I told her, thank you, and she doesn't realize how

1198
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 7: much she's helping me. She said, no problem and that

1199
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:37,360
Speaker 7: she do anything to help me. Not long afterwards, my

1200
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:40,120
Speaker 7: fiance was able to get a job, so I was

1201
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,719
Speaker 7: able to start cutting back on dashing the door and

1202
00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 7: focus on physical therapy for my leg. During this time,

1203
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 7: my sister wanted to go out more, so I took

1204
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:50,719
Speaker 7: her out whenever she wanted, and for a couple of months.

1205
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,319
Speaker 2: It was good till two weeks ago. What happened? What

1206
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 2: do you think this is?

1207
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 7: As a What do you think a sixteen year old

1208
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 7: girl could have done to make this whole thing not work?

1209
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,840
Speaker 2: Just exist sixteen year olds messing everything up, dude.

1210
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,920
Speaker 7: My sister randomly texted me where the money was that

1211
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:09,279
Speaker 7: I owed her where the money was. I looked at

1212
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 7: the text confused because she told me that I didn't

1213
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:14,240
Speaker 7: have to worry about paying her back. So I messaged

1214
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:15,880
Speaker 7: her and told her he told me I don't have

1215
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 7: to worry about paying you back. She proceeded telling me

1216
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:20,560
Speaker 7: that she never said that and that I owe her

1217
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,719
Speaker 7: well over five hundred dollars. Now, I told her there

1218
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 7: must be some misunderstanding because I clearly remember you telling

1219
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 7: me I don't have to pay you back. She then

1220
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 7: told me, never mind, not to worry about it. All right,

1221
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 7: I didn't worry about it.

1222
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:36,400
Speaker 1: That's the second time. Now you've essentially gone, everything's fine,

1223
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: we're good. Don't worry about it. Twice you've done it. Now.

1224
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,759
Speaker 7: I told her, okay, and I thought that that would

1225
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 7: be the end of it. However, it very much was

1226
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 7: not the.

1227
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 2: End of it. Good to love good. However, what are.

1228
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:53,799
Speaker 7: We doing here? Are we giving her the money back?

1229
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 7: Are we not asking her to pay for anything else?

1230
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:00,200
Speaker 1: I think this is a good time to tease each

1231
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: This is the younger sister, sixteen year old sister. It's

1232
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:05,840
Speaker 1: a great time to teach younger sister on what deals

1233
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:08,719
Speaker 1: and agreements are, because if she doesn't learn this lesson,

1234
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 1: and she goes into her adult life not understanding how

1235
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 1: agreements were, she's.

1236
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:15,720
Speaker 7: Probably gonna have a lot of filled businesses. She's gonna

1237
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 7: be at a disadvantage. Yep, she's gonna be at her

1238
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:22,399
Speaker 7: leiminade Stan wondering why nobody's paying her when she said,

1239
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 7: don't worry about paying.

1240
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:26,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean she's yeah. Get like. Or you go

1241
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:28,960
Speaker 2: to your job and with your coworker says, can you

1242
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 2: cover my shift?

1243
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 1: And you go, don't worry about it? And then you

1244
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 1: don't show up for their shift and you both get

1245
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,919
Speaker 1: in trouble. Yeah, because you went I told her don't

1246
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 1: worry about it, like like, like, don't because I'm not

1247
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:39,520
Speaker 1: doing it.

1248
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 2: I thought that was clear. What are we talking about?

1249
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:43,600
Speaker 2: What are we talking about about?

1250
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:46,640
Speaker 7: A week after the first conversation, she texted me asking

1251
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 7: when I give her the money? I told her that

1252
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:50,120
Speaker 7: you told me that I did not have to pay

1253
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 7: her back. She then got very upset and told me

1254
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:55,320
Speaker 7: that I'm lying to her and that she never said that.

1255
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,359
Speaker 7: At this point, I'm like, Okay, it's clearly something's going on.

1256
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:01,440
Speaker 7: So I tell Anna to call her mom tell her

1257
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 7: about it. She then tells me forget about it, and

1258
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:05,759
Speaker 7: then I'm like, okay, So I proceed to call my

1259
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 7: mom and talk to her about it. She was livid

1260
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,279
Speaker 7: because Anna had said in front of both of us

1261
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:12,399
Speaker 7: that I did not need to worry about paying her back,

1262
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 7: So she went and had a conversation with her and

1263
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:17,960
Speaker 7: after a little bit, my mom came back and told

1264
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,799
Speaker 7: me it was all settled and not to worry about

1265
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 7: paying her back. Okay, I keep hearing this, don't worry

1266
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:25,880
Speaker 7: about paying me back? Yeah, but I am always like

1267
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 7: worrying about paying you back. What are we supposed to

1268
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:28,799
Speaker 7: do here?

1269
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 1: I am immediately suspicious that the mother has taken money

1270
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 1: out of Ope's bank account somehow, some kind of something somewhere,

1271
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:41,239
Speaker 1: so somewhere money that was intended to go to Ope

1272
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 1: has now gone to the sister, with no conversation, no reconciliation,

1273
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 1: no understanding. I feel like that was bad. That was

1274
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,840
Speaker 1: a bad move on the mom. This should have been

1275
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:55,480
Speaker 1: handled between the two siblings, especially sixteen.

1276
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:57,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, come on.

1277
00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 7: I told her thank you, and I hung up, thinking

1278
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:00,640
Speaker 7: this is what the end of it was.

1279
00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:04,880
Speaker 2: But yet it was not. No but yet, dude, you

1280
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:08,719
Speaker 2: hit the butt yet like that? That got me. I

1281
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:10,799
Speaker 2: don't know why it got me. I love you. This

1282
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 2: morning I went door to the dashing.

1283
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:15,280
Speaker 7: It was a pretty slow morning, only made about fifty bucks,

1284
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 7: so I decided to go out dashing here in the afternoon.

1285
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 7: Got a text from Anna asking if I want to

1286
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 7: go out today. I told her that I cannot as

1287
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 7: I was out dashing. She said okay, and that was

1288
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 7: the end of it. Well, a couple hours later I

1289
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:29,320
Speaker 7: get a call from her, so I answer. She proceeds

1290
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 7: tell me once again that I owe her money that

1291
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 7: if I do not pay her back by the end

1292
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,040
Speaker 7: of the month, she will pursue legal action.

1293
00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:37,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1294
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 1: I don't think you have a legal leg to stand on,

1295
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 1: my guy, Hope, I'm gonna tell you something.

1296
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 7: This is the easiest lawsuit you can win of your life.

1297
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 7: All you gotta do is you get emotionally distressed as

1298
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:49,880
Speaker 7: hard as you can, countersue your sister when she sues you,

1299
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:51,600
Speaker 7: and get everything she has.

1300
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:54,439
Speaker 2: Go for everything that your sis has. Easy. I've never

1301
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 2: heard better plans.

1302
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:58,320
Speaker 7: This is free money right here. I asked her, what

1303
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:01,640
Speaker 7: is she on about? She got extremely upset. She lists

1304
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 7: everything she's paid for and bought for me in the

1305
00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:05,920
Speaker 7: last few months, which was to the point around seven

1306
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 7: hundred bucks. I told her I won't be paying it

1307
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:09,800
Speaker 7: back because she told me I didn't have to.

1308
00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:10,479
Speaker 2: She didn't.

1309
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 7: Got my stepdad on the phone and he proceeded to

1310
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:14,840
Speaker 7: tell me if I didn't pay her back, we will

1311
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 7: go to court over it. I hung up the phone

1312
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 7: and called my mom. My mom was extremely upset and

1313
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:22,720
Speaker 7: went home to talk to my sister and stepdad. Well,

1314
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:26,120
Speaker 7: it didn't go too well because my sister and stepdad

1315
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 7: have been punted out of the house temporarily. Thankfully I

1316
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 7: don't live at the house because that would have been

1317
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:33,440
Speaker 7: a crap show. Oh my god, Anna, my stepdad and

1318
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 7: my younger sister called me and said I've ruined the family.

1319
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 7: But my mom said not to listen to them, and

1320
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:41,640
Speaker 7: I did nothing wrong. I feel like I've done nothing

1321
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 7: but screw everything up. My fiance has been super supportive

1322
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 7: and says that I should go no contact with my

1323
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 7: sisters for a bit, But they're the only family I

1324
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:52,600
Speaker 7: got left. Am I the AO? We got an update one.

1325
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:56,439
Speaker 7: Let's sit down with a sister, probably make a payment plan.

1326
00:58:56,480 --> 00:58:58,480
Speaker 7: If she's this bothered by it, and she fit, she

1327
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:00,280
Speaker 7: probably had some PPC.

1328
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:01,800
Speaker 2: Going on here. Do you think the little sister has

1329
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 2: some CPP CPP the little sister I heard it. See, yeah,

1330
00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 2: I don't know about the little sisters chronic. I think

1331
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 2: he's sixteen? Does sixteen?

1332
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:13,320
Speaker 7: Because the little Sister's like, hey, don't worry about paying

1333
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 7: me back. Actually, I want my money back, Hey, don't

1334
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:17,200
Speaker 7: worry about it. She's just saying whatever to keep the peace.

1335
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 4: No.

1336
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 1: I think she's just sixteen and probably needs money for

1337
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 1: something she doesn't want to talk about, and that if

1338
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 1: anyone has CPP, I would think it was ope because

1339
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 1: she's over here being like I feel like this is

1340
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 1: my fault.

1341
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 2: I've done this now.

1342
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 1: The things that I said have caused people to be upset,

1343
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 1: and that's my fault, and I feel like that's not

1344
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:33,680
Speaker 1: true at all.

1345
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 7: So honestly, I didn't think I would update. And it's

1346
00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:39,439
Speaker 7: been a few hours since everything has happened. Oh wait,

1347
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 7: what it's happening all so fast? It's only been an

1348
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 7: hour since I posted this, But here we go. So

1349
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:46,120
Speaker 7: my mom got in an argument with my stepdad. Once

1350
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 7: we got done talking about everything. My stepdad threatened to

1351
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:51,720
Speaker 7: leave my mom if I didn't pay my sister back.

1352
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 7: My mom called me after that and told me about

1353
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,680
Speaker 7: everything I was living because why would you do that.

1354
00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:59,680
Speaker 7: I understand that my sister is my stepdad's firstborn, but

1355
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:02,000
Speaker 7: I'm also human. You were there with me from three

1356
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 7: years old till now. Now that everything has happened, I've

1357
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 7: also realized my stepdad has never cared about me, and

1358
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 7: I've decided to go no contact with him. Dang, so

1359
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:13,760
Speaker 7: off with the stepdad, right, Okay, my mom was very

1360
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 7: upset with what my stepdad did and what he was doing,

1361
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:19,840
Speaker 7: and she caved in. She's paying my sister the money

1362
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:22,720
Speaker 7: I supposedly owe her. I tell my mom that she

1363
01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 7: didn't have to, and if they were really going to

1364
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:26,840
Speaker 7: take me to court, let them well. Mom said no,

1365
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:29,400
Speaker 7: she wasn't about to lose her kids and her husband

1366
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 7: because of this. She did reiterate to me that none

1367
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 7: of this was my fault and I was doing what

1368
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:37,520
Speaker 7: I thought was right. I'm extremely thankful to have my mom,

1369
01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 7: but now I feel even rorse about the situation because

1370
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 7: of this. My fiance is livid as well, and he

1371
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:45,720
Speaker 7: wants them to take us to court to show how

1372
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:49,000
Speaker 7: stupid all of this is. Honestly don't know what to do.

1373
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 7: I just want all of this to stop. I'll probably

1374
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:53,960
Speaker 7: hear more from my mom in the morning, so hopefully

1375
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,920
Speaker 7: this all blows over and my mom doesn't actually pay

1376
01:00:56,960 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 7: her Thanks everyone. Update too, So it's been twelve hours.

1377
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:04,480
Speaker 7: I found out a lot since I went over to

1378
01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 7: my mom's. Apparently the money wasn't my sister's.

1379
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:11,680
Speaker 2: It was my.

1380
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:16,880
Speaker 7: Stepdad's and that was right, and my sister was taking

1381
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:19,200
Speaker 7: the money from him without.

1382
01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 6: No So.

1383
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 2: Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Guys who

1384
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 2: finds out, Okay, I need the money back now, please

1385
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 2: please please, I need the money back now. I need

1386
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:31,920
Speaker 2: the money back now, they hey said day.

1387
01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:34,400
Speaker 7: Anna told me the reason she told me not to

1388
01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 7: worry about paying her back is because she thought my

1389
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:40,360
Speaker 7: stepdad would have noticed the missing seven hundred dollars. I'm

1390
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 7: sorry what I didn't think her having seven hundred dollars

1391
01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:46,800
Speaker 7: was weird because she does work. She works at a

1392
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,640
Speaker 7: family friends restaurant and she gets paid decent, so I

1393
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 7: didn't think it was weird. She's been working there since

1394
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:54,280
Speaker 7: she was fourteen, so she has her own money. After

1395
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 7: finding that out, Annah told me the reason my stepdad

1396
01:01:57,320 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 7: was threatening me with legal action was because Anna told

1397
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 7: him I stole the money. This is all making so

1398
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:08,600
Speaker 7: much sense. My mom was furious with Anna and told

1399
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:11,520
Speaker 7: her I will not be paying anything. This is all

1400
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 7: Anna's doing and she knew it was wrong to steal

1401
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,880
Speaker 7: from her father's money. My mom didn't ask what happens

1402
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 7: to all of her money? Why still seven hundred dollars? Well,

1403
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:24,080
Speaker 7: we found out Anna spent twelve hundred dollars on a

1404
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:26,360
Speaker 7: present for my stepdad.

1405
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:27,320
Speaker 2: Which we found out later.

1406
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:30,760
Speaker 7: She bought him hunting gear and some dummies, and it

1407
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:33,160
Speaker 7: left her with no money and she wanted to go

1408
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:37,040
Speaker 7: out and take me with her. So hints stealing seven

1409
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 7: hundred dollars girl? What We still haven't told my stepdad

1410
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:43,959
Speaker 7: since he's at work, but Anna is begging we don't

1411
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,320
Speaker 7: tell him. My mom says she doesn't care what Anna

1412
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,440
Speaker 7: wants at this point. She just wants to clear this

1413
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:51,360
Speaker 7: all up. I don't know how later tonight is going

1414
01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 7: to go. Hopefully things go smooth. Here are some things

1415
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:56,400
Speaker 7: I like to clear up as well. I do go

1416
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 7: to my mom's to spend time with my sister's majority

1417
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:01,439
Speaker 7: of the week, ago three days out of the week,

1418
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 7: so it's not my sister's buying my time just to

1419
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:05,480
Speaker 7: hang out with me. I just don't go out as

1420
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:08,840
Speaker 7: much since I dash I can work. However, since my surgery,

1421
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:11,640
Speaker 7: I've been in a lot of pain. Even after all

1422
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:14,760
Speaker 7: this time, I walk with horrible limp and sometimes do

1423
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:17,720
Speaker 7: have to use a wheelchair due to my leg. Honestly,

1424
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 7: I think they fed up something. But with me starting

1425
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:23,760
Speaker 7: physical therapy now, the pain will hopefully go away soon.

1426
01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:26,440
Speaker 7: My fiance is a welder and he makes good money,

1427
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:28,920
Speaker 7: so I don't technically need to work right now, but

1428
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 7: I'm still dashing. I did say in the post on

1429
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:34,200
Speaker 7: my fiance did find another job and I cut back

1430
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 7: on dashing. That's when I stopped seeking assistance. I think

1431
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:41,600
Speaker 7: this clears things up, and I put herself in the

1432
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:44,959
Speaker 7: hot seat here, sixteen year old girl, and.

1433
01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:47,360
Speaker 2: Now everyone knows her evil plants.

1434
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think this has crossed over the line of

1435
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:58,120
Speaker 1: like intervention territory because it's like, you're stealing from your dad,

1436
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 1: You're blaming it on your sister.

1437
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:03,120
Speaker 2: You made a plan to blame it on your sister. Yeah,

1438
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:05,320
Speaker 2: and it was there, like you knew what you were

1439
01:04:05,360 --> 01:04:07,600
Speaker 2: gonna do. It was and.

1440
01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:12,160
Speaker 1: It's Look, there's a difference between being a thief and stealing.

1441
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:15,120
Speaker 2: I think I think you can be a.

1442
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:19,040
Speaker 1: Thief is someone who steals from a person, mmm, from

1443
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:23,720
Speaker 1: a place, like from like someone's house, an individual. Okay,

1444
01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 1: stealing you can steal from like well, like I don't know,

1445
01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:30,280
Speaker 1: I'm not condoning stealing, but like the fact that she

1446
01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:33,320
Speaker 1: stole is from her dad and blamed her sister, and

1447
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:35,600
Speaker 1: she didn't take like a T shirt from hot topic,

1448
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 1: Like that's not intervention territory. But stealing seven hundred dollars

1449
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:42,200
Speaker 1: from your own family and then blaming it on your sister,

1450
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:43,600
Speaker 1: that's definitely.

1451
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:45,080
Speaker 2: Like, we need to make sure you don't do this.

1452
01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:48,800
Speaker 7: Yeah, for your whole thought off plan. There another thing,

1453
01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:52,560
Speaker 7: Opie says. I will say someone said, this doesn't seem

1454
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:55,320
Speaker 7: like the first time my stepdad has enabled my sister.

1455
01:04:55,720 --> 01:04:58,480
Speaker 7: It isn't. My stepdad has never really seen me as

1456
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:01,920
Speaker 7: his child and ignored most of my childhood. I rarely

1457
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 7: saw him. I live with my grandparents and they passed

1458
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:06,919
Speaker 7: away when I turned eighteen, which is when I moved out,

1459
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:10,360
Speaker 7: which was contributing to it. My sister did, in fact

1460
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:12,600
Speaker 7: tell me I didn't have to pay her back. I

1461
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:15,320
Speaker 7: thought I mentioned it, but I didn't, so I'm sorry.

1462
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 7: Later on, closer to when everything happened, so when she

1463
01:05:18,760 --> 01:05:20,840
Speaker 7: told me not to worry about it, so I should

1464
01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:23,720
Speaker 7: have noticed it, I didn't. Thank you everyone for the input.

1465
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:26,600
Speaker 7: I'll update if anything happens tonight. We're gonna get our

1466
01:05:26,600 --> 01:05:28,000
Speaker 7: best man in the case and see if there is

1467
01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:29,840
Speaker 7: any more updates. But I think that's the end of

1468
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:30,160
Speaker 7: that story.

1469
01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:32,880
Speaker 2: I think that's a freshye though, right, that one's pretty new.

1470
01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:37,720
Speaker 2: Oh this is well double check me. I think that's

1471
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:41,360
Speaker 2: a new one. Yeah but shoot ooh check me six

1472
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:41,919
Speaker 2: days ago.

1473
01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:45,960
Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah, So no more, no more

1474
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:47,360
Speaker 7: right now, we can keep eyes on this.

1475
01:05:47,680 --> 01:05:49,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, we may be back. But that one nice.

1476
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:53,200
Speaker 7: We uh looked under the rug and there was a

1477
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:54,360
Speaker 7: thieving animal.