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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is a John. You're og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast. Ohs, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: My mom threatened to get rid of my dog, so

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Speaker 2: I finally stood.

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Speaker 3: Up to her. I'm just taking the dog, damn it.

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Speaker 2: I seventeen female, have a dog whom I keep in

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Speaker 2: the house with my mom thirty eight female and my

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Speaker 2: other family members, which include my dad and other uh

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Speaker 2: and older brother. My dog has been sick for a while,

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Speaker 2: and at first my mom refused to give me any

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Speaker 2: money to take her.

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Speaker 3: To the vet. She told me I shouldn't have wasted

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Speaker 3: my pocket money.

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Speaker 2: But I don't even get pocket money except sometimes on

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Speaker 2: special occasions. By the way, this comes from Practical Name

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Speaker 2: sixty one oh two And if you want to submit

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Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime

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Speaker 2: separated it and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia. You're only going

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Speaker 2: to guess what we would do, but if you have

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Speaker 2: experienced it or you would do something different, let us

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Speaker 2: know down below. So Opie says, I ended up breaking

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Speaker 2: the saving pot I had been using to save money

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Speaker 2: for a laptop, at which I filled with money I

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Speaker 2: personally earned. I used it to take my dog to

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Speaker 2: the vet. She got treatment and it turned out that

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Speaker 2: she was really sick. Now she has medication, I have

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Speaker 2: to feed her, and she's been quite tired lately. She's

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Speaker 2: been quiet for about a week. Today, when my mom

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Speaker 2: came home, she was being loud, which alarmed my dog

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Speaker 2: and caused her to start barking. I was sleeping when

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Speaker 2: my mom bombarded my phone with messages saying she'd get

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Speaker 2: rid of my dog if I didn't shut her up.

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Speaker 2: My mom has a tendency to leave my dog outside

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Speaker 2: and then tell me that she gave her away until

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Speaker 2: I'm sobbing, So when I woke up, I immediately.

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Speaker 3: Took my dog with me while my mom yelled.

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Speaker 2: I told her she was insane for even thinking about

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Speaker 2: doing that, and then I'd call the cops if she

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Speaker 2: led my dog loose again, especially since it was raining.

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Speaker 2: Now my mom has been giving me the silent treatment.

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Speaker 2: My dad says that I overreacted and that she was

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Speaker 2: just joking, which is making me second guess myself. Am

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Speaker 2: I the a hole for saying that I'd call the cops,

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Speaker 2: and there are some comments. Lucky Charm eighty twenty says,

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Speaker 2: not the a hole, hold that dog close. Try really

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Speaker 2: hard to get yourself a job and move away from

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Speaker 2: you and move away from your abusers as soon as possible.

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Speaker 2: I caution you strongly about calling the cops, though, because

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Speaker 2: they may deem your dog to be in an unsafe environment,

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Speaker 2: since your mother is the adult in this situation with

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Speaker 2: regards to the health and welfare of your dog. There

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Speaker 2: are payment plans that you can get at most about hospitals,

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Speaker 2: So this is why it's massively important that you try

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Speaker 2: to at least get yourself a weekend job to help

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Speaker 2: with that. You're probably on the struggle right now because

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Speaker 2: you're juggling school among other things, which is totally understandable,

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Speaker 2: and I realize that today's current financial landscape doesn't make

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Speaker 2: it easy for a young person to leave home at

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Speaker 2: eighteen and immediately find a place to live. My advice

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Speaker 2: to you is either try to move in with another

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Speaker 2: family member if any of them are trustworthy, or get

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Speaker 2: two or three friends together and rent share. But whatever

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Speaker 2: you do, you need to get away from these child

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Speaker 2: abusers and animal abusers.

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Speaker 3: Best of luck, and please keep us updated.

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Speaker 2: Opie says, I've been looking into moving out after I

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Speaker 2: graduate and moving in with a friend in a different

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Speaker 2: country for university.

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Speaker 3: Thankfully, my grades are pretty high.

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Speaker 2: I have a good amount of volunteer hours and I

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Speaker 2: play sports for my school, so I have a good

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Speaker 2: chance at a scholarship as well. But even if I

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Speaker 2: don't get a scholarship, I do plan to move out

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Speaker 2: and save up until I can get a higher education.

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Speaker 2: I've been cautious with my dog as well, keeping her

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Speaker 2: close by and having her sleep with me. The same

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Speaker 2: commentary responds, these are all fantastic things, and I honestly

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Speaker 2: wish you the best of luck with it all. Are

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Speaker 2: you able to take Pupper with you when you go abroad?

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Speaker 2: Opie says, yes, of course, I've looked into that as well,

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Speaker 2: and I'm able to take her. My friend also has

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Speaker 2: a dog, so they'll be play buddies too, and Opie explains.

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Speaker 3: How they got the dog.

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Speaker 2: I got my pup back in twenty eighteen when she

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Speaker 2: was only a few months old. Back then I was

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Speaker 2: around eleven or twelve, not sure, but back then I

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Speaker 2: had spoken to my parents and they both agreed to

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Speaker 2: let me get a pup on one condition that I

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Speaker 2: take her on walks and brush her fur. I agreed

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Speaker 2: to the terms.

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Speaker 3: And got my puppy. No one around the house really helped.

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Speaker 2: I didn't expect any help, as I personally agreed to

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Speaker 2: having my own pup and taking care of her, and

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Speaker 2: so I basically raised the puppy myself. My parents or

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Speaker 2: siblings were never really involved in taking care of her

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Speaker 2: other than some days like when I was sick or

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Speaker 2: on a school trip, and even then my brother took

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Speaker 2: care of her, not my mom.

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Speaker 3: That's pretty ridiculous. Yeah, I don't think it is wrong

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Speaker 3: to expect child who wanted a pet to like have

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Speaker 3: the responsibility of looking after the pet. But I do

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Speaker 3: think that, like, if you're the parent, you should be

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Speaker 3: someone involved, yeah, right, helping take care of this animal

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Speaker 3: that you brought into your house.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, especially if your kid is eleven or twelve.

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Speaker 3: It's like you're gonna take care of it. I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: forget sometimes. And also, a dog is pretty different than

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Speaker 3: like a you know, a guinea pig or a smaller

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Speaker 3: animal that yeah, may have less.

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Speaker 2: Needs, right, So I don't see how she could be

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Speaker 2: a burden to my mom. Other than the occasional barking,

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Speaker 2: she's very well behaved and we.

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Speaker 3: Do have another update school. I'm pretty impressed that this

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Speaker 3: dog is well behaved when he was like training it

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Speaker 3: as an eleven year old, I know, right, I think

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Speaker 3: if I were an eleven year old having to train,

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Speaker 3: you know, because I actually got got my previous dog, Oscar,

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Speaker 3: around when I was eleven, and if I had to

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Speaker 3: just train Oscar, yeah, yeah, I'd be like, I don't know,

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Speaker 3: I just give him treats all the.

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Speaker 2: Time, right, I know, I feel like it in the

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Speaker 2: fact that he seems to have like hobbies in uh

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Speaker 2: and extra curriculars and stuff.

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Speaker 3: It's like taking care of a dog.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, way I could do it is if my dog

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Speaker 2: is my one and only hobby.

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Speaker 3: You know, truly I have to take Like I have

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Speaker 3: had to take care of Eva a couple of times

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Speaker 3: on my own, and when it when it's Sam and I,

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Speaker 3: it's a lot easier, sure, because you know, like if

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Speaker 3: one of us is home one of them you know,

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Speaker 3: swamp and stuff. But I had to take care of

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Speaker 3: her alone a couple of weeks ago, yeah, and it

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Speaker 3: was so I was like, oh my god, this is

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Speaker 3: actually like, there are so many times that I had

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Speaker 3: to leave parties to go make sure that she was

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Speaker 3: let out and stuff that I was very help fortunately,

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Speaker 3: I know John and Christian were able to help out

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Speaker 3: and stuff. That's good and letting her out. But I'm like,

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Speaker 3: it's a lifestyle. Yeah, you can't spend you know, a

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Speaker 3: lot of time out of the house to come back

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Speaker 3: exactly take her own box and stuff. It's a big responsibility.

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Speaker 3: But we do have an update my sweet girl.

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Speaker 2: She was on the way to her pit grooming appointment

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Speaker 2: and there's a picture I believe Opie says she's a

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Speaker 2: Pomeranian fox face. We have update too, Okay, So am

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Speaker 2: I the overtelling my parents that I will not be

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Speaker 2: helping them with their rent. So uh, this is sixteen

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Speaker 2: months later. I eighteen, female, moved out of my parents'

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Speaker 2: house a little while ago as soon as I could.

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Speaker 2: To provide some context, my parents were both emotionally harmful

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Speaker 2: and have wronged me many times in my life, including

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Speaker 2: threatening to get rid of my dog, which I have

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Speaker 2: a whole post on.

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Speaker 3: And we just read.

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Speaker 2: Since I moved out, I've been working a job and

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Speaker 2: paying rent for my apartment and that I share with

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Speaker 2: my friend, and I have had enough money left to

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Speaker 2: save up a bit to go to college in.

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Speaker 3: A few years.

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Speaker 2: I'm the youngest in the family, so after I moved out,

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Speaker 2: no one was left at home.

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Speaker 3: Both my siblings had moved out as well.

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Speaker 2: Their financial support from my brother paying them rent for

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Speaker 2: his bedroom has been cut off. I am completely independent

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Speaker 2: and have told my parents multiple times that I want

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Speaker 2: nothing to do with them and even blocks their numbers completely.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Earlier this week, my grandmother called me and explained that

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Speaker 2: my parents desperately need money for rent and asked if

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Speaker 2: I could spare money from my college savings, which I

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Speaker 2: saved up on my own so far. I outright refused

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Speaker 2: and told my grandmother that I would not be helping

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Speaker 2: at all, since every penny in my savings is gathered

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Speaker 2: by me working hard and supporting myself. I love my

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Speaker 2: grandmother and told her that if she needed help herself,

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Speaker 2: I was willing to help, but I would not help

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Speaker 2: with my parents. For this entire week, my aunt has

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Speaker 2: been calling me repeatedly saying that my parents really needed

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Speaker 2: this and deserved it for raising me.

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Speaker 3: You help them, That's not how that works legally. That's

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Speaker 3: not how that works. Illeglio does not owe them a penny,

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Speaker 3: and if you want to help them ont slash grandmother. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you give them money exactly.

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Speaker 2: My mom's side of the family threatened to cut me

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Speaker 2: off if I didn't help, which is honestly so petty

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Speaker 2: because I'm only eighteen years old and they should be

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Speaker 2: helping me instead, or or they should be helping instead.

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Speaker 2: I told my friend about it, and she said that

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Speaker 2: I was taking it too far and I should have helped.

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Speaker 2: What Now, I'm wondering if I'm the a hole and

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Speaker 2: there is there are some comments, but I disagree.

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Speaker 3: I disagree, And I'm wondering if your friend is an

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Speaker 3: eighteen year old who's having her education paid for by

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Speaker 3: her parents, good cool uestion, because I think there is

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Speaker 3: maybe a cognitive dissonance of being like, oh, yeah, well

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Speaker 3: you should just help them out they need them, Like

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Speaker 3: you can just make more money. Yeah, it's like, well

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Speaker 3: don't you save to everything for your college? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Like don't you know why I'm living here instead of

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Speaker 2: with them right now? Like yeah, it's it's like what,

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Speaker 2: I would be so surprised if they're friends and roommates

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Speaker 2: and and like don't know.

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Speaker 3: This about don't know the backstory of like you.

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Speaker 2: Cut them off, Yeah, exactly, and like the parents aren't

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Speaker 2: reaching out. I mean I know that they were blocked,

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Speaker 2: but like if they were really that, that's what I'm

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Speaker 2: sure they could like, I'm.

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Speaker 3: So sorry for the way that we treated you, blah

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Speaker 3: blah blah. Yeah, I don't know they're reaching out for money. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so we definitely not the a hole. You cut them

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Speaker 3: off for a reason, and the only reason that they

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Speaker 3: are trying to reach out to you so hard is

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Speaker 3: for money. That's very telling. So we have some comments available.

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Speaker 2: Love seventy nine point forty says, quote, they deserve it

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Speaker 2: for raising you. No, that's what's legally required. You have children,

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Speaker 2: you raise them.

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Speaker 3: You don't.

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Speaker 2: They don't owe you for doing that. Your aunt and

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Speaker 2: your mom's side are all welcome to contribute to ren

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Speaker 2: if they are so concerned. You save it for some

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Speaker 2: therapy as well, and good luck. Not the a hole,

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Speaker 2: casual Lore says, not the a hole. You are doing fantastic.

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Speaker 2: Moved out, saving money for college on your own, cutting

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Speaker 2: off your harmful family, Keep it up. Don't let anyone

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Speaker 2: drag you back into that situation. With their penny manipulations.

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Speaker 2: You got this, Opie says, thank you so much. You

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Speaker 2: have no idea how much that means to me. I

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Speaker 2: truly appreciate the kind words from the bottom of my heart.

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Speaker 2: And then King brett Weld. Brett Weld says, make sure

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Speaker 2: your parents aren't on your bank account. Have it in

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Speaker 2: a credit union or bank if they've never used. If possible,

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Speaker 2: also your credit Maybe make sure that they haven't taken

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Speaker 2: out any loans or credit cards in your name. Lock

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Speaker 2: it down, Opie says, I will definitely contact my bank

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Speaker 2: in the morning. Everyone seems to be warning me about that.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I agree with these comments.

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Speaker 3: I mean I agree.

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Speaker 2: I feel like this friend because they're both very long,

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Speaker 2: they're both eighteen. I'm assuming the friend is the same age.

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Speaker 2: If you haven't experienced manipulation, you don't know how to

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Speaker 2: look out for it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's thinking, oh, well, these are your parents exactly,

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Speaker 3: they need help.

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Speaker 2: She's hearing the same guilt tripping stuff and she is

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Speaker 2: like falling for it. Yeah, because she hasn't been in

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Speaker 2: that situation before. So you know it's I wouldn't put

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Speaker 2: any hate towards the friend. I know she's eighteen exactly

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Speaker 2: like she just she don't know, but she don't know,

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Speaker 2: she don't know. But I feel like, uh, yeah, you

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Speaker 2: can ignore your friend though she's just wrong.

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Speaker 3: She's wrong, she's just wrong. Talked ab us instead. Come on, wait,

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Speaker 3: come in, come in, talk.

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Speaker 2: To Yeah, but we do have a third updates show.

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Speaker 3: Finished this off.

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Speaker 2: So to start off, Yes, I froze my card. Oh well,

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Speaker 2: I froze it the morning after I made this post

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Speaker 2: and spoke to my bank account about any bills being

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Speaker 2: opened to my name. My friend helped me open a

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Speaker 2: new bank account in a different bank as well. Many

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Speaker 2: people also asked why I told people that I had savings,

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Speaker 2: and to that I say, I'm stupid. What happened was

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Speaker 2: I had told my grandmother about it because I was

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Speaker 2: sort of excited about standing on my own feet, but

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Speaker 2: that seemed to backfire. Since then, I have stood my

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Speaker 2: ground and have not given them any money. I did

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Speaker 2: block my aunt as well, and am going to have

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Speaker 2: minimal contact.

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Speaker 3: With my grandmother.

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Speaker 2: I told them that I had a car emergency and

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Speaker 2: had to use the money, so I have nothing left

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Speaker 2: to give.

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Speaker 3: But I think they don't believe me.

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Speaker 2: But overall, I will not be lending them any money,

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Speaker 2: especially not from my savings, and that is the end

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Speaker 2: of that story.

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Speaker 3: My parents stopped paying my tuition because I refused to

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Speaker 3: watch sports with them. The game it was way more

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Speaker 3: important than reading the books. My female twenty one parents

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Speaker 3: told me that they weren't gonna split tuition anymore following

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Speaker 3: an argument we recently had, and the argument involves something

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Speaker 3: dating back years. We're a big sports family NBA, NFL, MLB,

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Speaker 3: and my younger brothers play sports too. They both play

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Speaker 3: baseball in high school but dabbled another. I played tennis

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Speaker 3: at my community college before transferring after my associates, and

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Speaker 3: to have played since I was young. I'm grateful to

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Speaker 3: my parents for paying for our sports despite our differences.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from throw Away Turbulent con

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Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytime subvered it. I'm Sophia,

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Speaker 3: I'm an Jake, and we're here to give good advice goofully,

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Speaker 3: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 3: what do we do, So let us know what you

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Speaker 3: would do in the comments and Op says I still

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Speaker 3: live with them, and I pay rent. I worked two

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Speaker 3: part time jobs, and I've been splitting tuition until recently

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Speaker 3: after an argument about something dating back years. This week

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Speaker 3: and last week is the US Open of tennis, and

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Speaker 3: we've watched tennis together growing up. Over the years, I've

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Speaker 3: done so less and less after realizing my mom's commentary

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Speaker 3: about certain players went beyond typical sports rivalry. Her criticisms

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Speaker 3: often focused on personal characteristics and behavior in ways that

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Speaker 3: made me uncomfortable, particularly regarding female athletes. She had similar

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Speaker 3: patterns with other sports figures, including comments about athletes who've

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Speaker 3: spoken publicly about mental health challenges or social issues. The

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Speaker 3: reason my parents decided to stop splitting tuition was because

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Speaker 3: of an argument that happened last week. My parents asked

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Speaker 3: me if I wanted to attend the US Open, as

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Speaker 3: they were purchasing ground passes, so i've done in recent years.

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Speaker 3: I declined. That led to them asking why I don't

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Speaker 3: do as much with the family anymore, and they've often

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Speaker 3: harped on me for not acting like part of this family.

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Speaker 3: I decided to speak my mind instead of coming up

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Speaker 3: with an excuse, and told them that I was tired

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Speaker 3: of watching sports together because it had become annoying. I

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Speaker 3: explained that the constant negative commentary about athletes, particularly when

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Speaker 3: it seemed to go beyond sports performance into personal attacks,

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Speaker 3: had taken the joy out of watching together. So because

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to act like part of the family.

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Speaker 3: They said that this upcoming semester would be the last

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Speaker 3: that they split tuition, So I'm on my own going forward,

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Speaker 3: which is so indicative of how far they've taken their

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Speaker 3: love of sports. Yeah, really obsession. Yeah, because I kind of.

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Speaker 2: Thought this would go in a way of like, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: if you don't want to spend quality time with me,

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Speaker 2: then like then yeah, then I don't want to pay

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Speaker 2: for your tuition, which is still.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's like that's a conversation can still be

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Speaker 3: had for that.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, this is like, we're not gonna think about

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Speaker 2: other options of hanging out with each other.

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Speaker 3: This isn't like and also, op, he's not even saying

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Speaker 3: that they don't want to watch sports with them. They're saying,

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Speaker 3: I don't like how you make negative commentary.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's like if you just, you know, maybe

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Speaker 2: you're just a little more positive, yeah, and support of

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Speaker 2: these people, then I would want to do it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, he's like, that's your dream, dad, not mine

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Speaker 3: mine exact. I don't want to watch sports, want to

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Speaker 3: I want to go to class. Bob and one. Take

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Speaker 3: advantage of the time you have a college to talk

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Speaker 3: to your counselors and financial aid. They want you to

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Speaker 3: finish your degree, and they understand that sometimes parents go crazy.

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Speaker 3: Only you can decide if a gap year is right

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Speaker 3: for you. But once you get a job and start

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Speaker 3: making rent and car payments, it can be really hard

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Speaker 3: to find time to finish your degree. Since you're already

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Speaker 3: mostly done. I think you'd maximize your chance of success

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Speaker 3: by pushing through to graduation. Op says that's my main

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Speaker 3: fear about taking a break. Once you do, it may

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Speaker 3: be hard to get back into the swing of things.

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Speaker 3: But I do think that a break might be beneficial if

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Speaker 3: I'm able to move out and be more efficient in

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Speaker 3: my work without the stress at home. So it's a

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Speaker 3: tough decision. Comment two says, don't take a break, keep

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Speaker 3: going and figure the finances out along the way, even

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Speaker 3: if you have to take one class at a time.

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Speaker 3: I worked while at college and paid the tuition myself.

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Speaker 3: I did a payment plan with the university Opie says,

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Speaker 3: I didn't think of reducing class load. That would probably

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Speaker 3: cause less stress while trying to make the financials work.

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Speaker 3: Thanks for the suggestion. Another reply says, stay in school.

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Speaker 3: Speaking from personal experience, it detoured me for eight years

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Speaker 3: before I got my degree. Working full time and trying

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Speaker 3: to squeeze in classes was very difficult, and I had

368
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Speaker 3: to take horrible jobs because I didn't have a degree.

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Speaker 3: Tolerate your parents and use this as an exercise of

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Speaker 3: learning how to ignore people whom you disagree with. It

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Speaker 3: will be great practice for your career. And there is

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Speaker 3: a second update or whoost the first update? I think

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Speaker 3: ten days later. Do you have any thoughts before we

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Speaker 3: jump in?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's I mean, with taking a gap year,

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Speaker 2: it's really just whatever works for you. Yeah, for some

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Speaker 2: people it works because, like you know, you don't think

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Speaker 2: you're ready for it. Once you are ready for it,

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Speaker 2: you're really ready to get back into school, and so

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Speaker 2: like getting into the swing of things isn't like as hard,

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Speaker 2: but in other situations it is difficult because if you

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Speaker 2: do start working, it's hard to stop and then take

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Speaker 2: a break for school or take time.

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Speaker 3: Off for school or something like that. So it really

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Speaker 3: depends on you, honestly. Yeah, but I agree. But there

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00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,879
Speaker 3: are like you know, financial aid and stuff that you

387
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Speaker 3: could try. Yeah, yeah, you would have to talk to them.

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Speaker 3: Hopefully your parents, uh you know, don't take you on

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Speaker 3: as it dependent because yeah, that's it's a bit hard

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Speaker 3: to prove that you're not being give intuition money or

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Speaker 3: like helped by your parents if they are not you know,

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Speaker 3: willing to be like we're not helping you.

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Speaker 2: Also, community college, yeah an option. I literally I don't

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Speaker 2: want to be in debt. Yeah, I think, like I

395
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Speaker 2: have friends, all right. I had friends that like paid

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Speaker 2: for one semester of their college, like first year in

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Speaker 2: and I, I'm like four or five years into doing

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Speaker 2: community college, haven't even spent that much yetah, in their

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Speaker 2: one semester.

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Speaker 3: So update ten days later, almost off. The advice I

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Speaker 3: received was to stay in school, and I'd love nothing more.

402
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Speaker 3: A break can turn into years quickly from what I've heard,

403
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Speaker 3: and some suggested using this semester that's already paid for

404
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,600
Speaker 3: as a time to find bearings for the next semester.

405
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Speaker 3: I took advantage of my school's pre counseling offerings and

406
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Speaker 3: booked a session with a counselor to discuss my options.

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00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:46,359
Speaker 3: We discussed financial aid payment plans and campus jobs in

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Speaker 3: addition to finding a full time job off campus. I

409
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Speaker 3: have two part time jobs, but ours are inconsistent and

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Speaker 3: they don't pay great even if I take fewer classes

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Speaker 3: per semester, I believe staying in school would be the

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Speaker 3: best option. I have another session with my counselor coming up,

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Speaker 3: where she said we can talk more about it. I

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Speaker 3: also told her about the situation that led to my

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Speaker 3: parents saying their minds, changing their mind on tuition and

416
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Speaker 3: saying when I felt out loud, help me find some

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Speaker 3: additional realization. According to my counselor, I internalized a lot

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Speaker 3: of it because my parents weren't perceptive, so talking to

419
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 3: her was therapeutic in a way. With my family always

420
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Speaker 3: being a big sports family, hosting Super Bowls parties, going

421
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Speaker 3: to many games, siblings and I playing sports, sports was

422
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Speaker 3: the thing we bonded over for all my life. Heck,

423
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Speaker 3: it was a foregone conclusion that we skip church on

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Speaker 3: Super Bowl Sunday to prepare for guests, and on Championship

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Speaker 3: Sunday for the gentlemen's finals at Wimbledon. In the morning.

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Speaker 3: But somewhere along the way it became less fun to

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Speaker 3: watch sports with them due to the things I mentioned

428
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Speaker 3: in my previous post. Mom, more so than Dad, but

429
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Speaker 3: he has his moments and agrees with her stances, began

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Speaker 3: infusing her political beliefs into support into sports and other areas,

431
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Speaker 3: and attained to the very thing our family bonded over.

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Speaker 3: Sports is often an escape from work in stress, something

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Speaker 3: that people on both sides of the political aisle can

434
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Speaker 3: come together over and cheer for the same team at

435
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Speaker 3: a stadium or party. Ignorant bliss plays a role in that,

436
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 3: of course, but as humans, I believe it's important to

437
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Speaker 3: come together to find community, and sports is one of

438
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,919
Speaker 3: the most common ways to do so. Despite our differences.

439
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 3: When those differences cause my parents to decide to walk

440
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 3: back their agreement to split tuition, it hurt because it

441
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,120
Speaker 3: felt like I was being punished for my different opinion.

442
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 3: I love sports because it brings people together in a

443
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 3: world where it's so hard to do so genuinely. At

444
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 3: one of my retail jobs, our managers have huddles with

445
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,240
Speaker 3: team members with cheesy slogans, monthly themes, and team building

446
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 3: activities that coworkers laugh at once the huddle ends and

447
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 3: criticize for being fake enthusiasm. But sports unifies people like

448
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,680
Speaker 3: nothing else, and I'm sad that watching his sports became

449
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 3: tainted over the years. At home. The only time sports

450
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 3: isn't tainted in my family is when we go to

451
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 3: my siblings games to cheer them on, and that's because

452
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,640
Speaker 3: no politics are involved. Every family has their own thing,

453
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 3: and I've seen many at church when I used to go.

454
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,879
Speaker 3: From musical families at church who have members in the

455
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:23,400
Speaker 3: choir or orchestra, some missionary families who travel together every

456
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 3: family as things they bond over. And sports began to

457
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,359
Speaker 3: change in our family because it became less fun to

458
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 3: watch with mom and dad. I'd love to move out

459
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 3: sooner rather than later, but I'm weighing all my options.

460
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,399
Speaker 3: Staying in school remains the priority, and I hope I'm

461
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 3: able to find more work soon. I'm glad to have

462
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 3: found a nice counselor who has options such as payment plans.

463
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 3: The payment plan is the one I'm hoping to utilize.

464
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 3: But there are some comments To finish up this story,

465
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 3: do you have any final comments of your own? I mean,

466
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 3: seems like things are a little better. Yeah, it seems

467
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 3: like it's all working out. I mean not with your

468
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 3: parents clearly, but it seems like you're you know, figuring

469
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 3: it and you have people who are looking out for you,

470
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 3: which is yeah, really great, right, You've got options?

471
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I mean obviously you know, you know

472
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 2: how I guess nice sports are with the community and everything,

473
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 2: or how they can be and so you know, I mean,

474
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 2: I I'm sure it'll feel good once you find people

475
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,199
Speaker 2: that agree with you on that and on like the

476
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 2: positivity around it too. And I feel like that'll just

477
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 2: like feel really good to just be like, huh, I

478
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 2: can enjoy sports again.

479
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, but yeah, best of look to you.

480
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 2: I hope that if I hope that this payment stuff

481
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 2: goes through and you're able to get that financial aid,

482
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 2: and I hope that someday your parents can just kind

483
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 2: of calm down about that stuff.

484
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean it's so I do think that sports

485
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 3: can be h it can cause a lot of like

486
00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 3: obsession and like single minded, yes, because there's just like

487
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:07,959
Speaker 3: so much i don't know, like cult like following that

488
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 3: can you know, come about with sports teams and stuff.

489
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 3: And I think like it seems like these parents are

490
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 3: being drawn into that devoted but yeah, hopefully they can

491
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 3: find their way back and realize that it's just a game. Yeah,

492
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 3: and you can enjoy it and also not off you know,

493
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:29,439
Speaker 3: out your child. Yeah, overach. But some comments Rick Russell

494
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 3: t X. Take advantage of the time you have a

495
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 3: college to talk to your counselors and financial aid. They

496
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 3: want you to finish your degree, and they understand that

497
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 3: sometimes parents go crazy. Uh oh, this is the same one. Okay,

498
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 3: admissions lottery first, So sorry, your mother is an open

499
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 3: bigot and your father's supports her. But good on you

500
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 3: for drawing the line. I teach at college and urge

501
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 3: you to follow all of this thread's advice and go

502
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 3: to talk to your school's financial counselors asap. You should

503
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 3: also talk to your advisor and or department professors that

504
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 3: you like. There can be bursaries or hardship funds available

505
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,360
Speaker 3: if you ask enough people. If you find it financially

506
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,920
Speaker 3: unfeasible to finish your degree at your current school, consider

507
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 3: transferring to a lower cost school. You have the time

508
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,679
Speaker 3: to research this right now and should jump on the

509
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 3: first step the financial office. If you need to go

510
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 3: part time, that is better than dropping out and returning,

511
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 3: because so many times life gets in the way of

512
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 3: that return. Try to stay on course and not let

513
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 3: this incredibly mean and damaging move by your parents disrupt

514
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,199
Speaker 3: your future. All the best to you, and that is

515
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 3: the end of that story.

516
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 4: My parents excluded me from Christmas and it changed everything.

517
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 3: Ah Christmas, okay.

518
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 4: I'm ninety percent sure that I am, but I've let

519
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,199
Speaker 4: it sit for a day and I'm still hurt. Before

520
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 4: we get into this, I'm very aware that many people

521
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 4: in the world get nothing at all for Christmas. I

522
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 4: should spend weeks leading up to Christmas volunteering virtually this

523
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 4: year for Bobman's Shelter and a foster care organization. By

524
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from user are Torrian Scribe. If

525
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 4: you want submit your own stories, go to the uh

526
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 4: slash okay storytime separate its. I'm Keon, I'm Sophia, and

527
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 4: we're here to give good advice Goofily, But we don't

528
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 4: have all the answers. We only know what we do,

529
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 4: so let us know in the comments. Opie says, prior

530
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 4: to this Christmas we quarantined for weeks and we all

531
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 4: got tested. We're one of those families that doesn't go

532
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 4: into stores, hooray curbside or eat out, and we all

533
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 4: are fortunate enough to work from home or be retired.

534
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 5: Now.

535
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 4: My mom does all the shopping for Christmas full stop.

536
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 4: She asked what I wanted, and because I'm pregnant, I

537
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 4: just asked for stuff for the baby, especially since I

538
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 4: won't have a baby shower. She said, fine, I'll get

539
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 4: that stuff, but what about you and your husband? Well,

540
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 4: we really didn't want for much, so I threw together

541
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,239
Speaker 4: three ideas for each of us, but I told her

542
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 4: to please shop just for the baby.

543
00:25:59,000 --> 00:25:59,879
Speaker 5: I also gave them a.

544
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 4: To the registry with over forty small items selected so

545
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 4: they weren't on their own. Meanwhile, I got them what

546
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 4: they asked for. I got my dad a firestick TV

547
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,959
Speaker 4: and contributed to his oculus. I got my mom some

548
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 4: jewelry from Pandora and a hand blown glass or hand

549
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 4: blown glass cups that you wanted. My brother, twenty four male,

550
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 4: who still lives with them, a case for the iPad

551
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 4: they got him and one hundred dollars. My parents still do, Sanna,

552
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 4: that's cute. The whole bit, the cookies, the milk, the

553
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 4: presents that magically show up.

554
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 5: It's their choice.

555
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 4: We don't ask for it, but we play along because

556
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 4: it makes them happy that we come downstairs yesterday morning

557
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 4: and everyone else has gifts from Sanna.

558
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 5: We do not.

559
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 4: My dad just slips us a note saying Sanna is

560
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 4: done for us. So we sit there awkwardly while my mom, dad,

561
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 4: and brother open all their gifts from Sanna. They struggled

562
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,160
Speaker 4: to find gifts for me at all. They found plenty

563
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 4: for my husband, gardening stuff you wanted, but the only

564
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 4: really gift they gave me was a pair of Adida's

565
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,640
Speaker 4: shoes I didn't ask for, a perfume I don't wear,

566
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 4: and a ramen I like, oh.

567
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:05,919
Speaker 5: He says, that's fine.

568
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 4: All I wanted all along were things for the baby,

569
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 4: who they've known for weeks will be a boy. They

570
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 4: gave us three onesies and an ugly nursing pillow. The

571
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 4: icing on the cake was my older brother forty mail

572
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 4: and his family have a whole stack of presents to

573
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 4: be sent to them just for him. We're talking power tools,

574
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 4: drill sets, brand name clothes and shoes just for him.

575
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 4: And this is not even mentioning their wife and kids.

576
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 4: Here's what might make me an a hole.

577
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:34,159
Speaker 5: Not wanting to.

578
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,400
Speaker 4: Spoil everyone's fun by sulking, I chose to return two

579
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 4: days earlier than planned. My husband is trying to be understanding,

580
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 4: but said I may be the a hole for expecting

581
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 4: anything at all and for leaving so unexpectedly. In fact,

582
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 4: the entire family made passive, aggressive comments the entire day,

583
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,879
Speaker 4: but I ignored them all. The only person I felt

584
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 4: bad for was my dad because he seemed truly hurt.

585
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 4: It feels as as if it feels as if it

586
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 4: was just me and my future son who were neglected.

587
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:10,919
Speaker 5: So I left. Am I the A hole? Sophia? What

588
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 5: do you? What say you?

589
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 3: Before we get some leaving the party? I don't know.

590
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 3: I think they're the A hole, But I do think

591
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 3: that like leaving like did the did Op's entire family

592
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 3: or just Op?

593
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 5: I think OP?

594
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 3: Is that what it said?

595
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 5: I think a husband's state?

596
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 3: Yeah? See, I mean it's a little tough like on

597
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 3: the one hand, well, I guess you're your child's not

598
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,719
Speaker 3: old enough to you know, for you to ruin your

599
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 3: kids Christmas or anything by leaving.

600
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 4: It doesn't say I like OP left with the entire

601
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 4: like her husband and child.

602
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 5: The child even born yet it said the child child.

603
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 5: I don't know if the child's born yet.

604
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 2: No.

605
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I was so saying so like you're not

606
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 3: ruining a child's you know, Christmas or anything. So I

607
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 3: feel like that's somewhat reasonable. And they're not like they

608
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 3: seemingly didn't care about you at all for this Christmas.

609
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 5: Just like a lot of people in the chatter saying

610
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 5: not the a hole energy you.

611
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 3: Didn't make like a big scene.

612
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just very confused, like I don't know why

613
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 4: they did this. Yeah, why did they Why I made

614
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 4: a list? And I guess again they were just like

615
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 4: they were being literal, like you two said you didn't

616
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 4: want anything. You said you just wanted stuff for your

617
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 4: baby boy, but you barely got anything. I mean, you

618
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 4: got a couple of things for him, but that's I

619
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 4: don't know. I don't think you're the a hole for

620
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 4: leaving as if you left in like a very rude way.

621
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 5: But are You're like I'm gonna go home and just

622
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 5: like chill.

623
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, eh, let's get into the comments coming. Number one, op,

624
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 4: I think you may want to get a DNA test

625
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 4: with your parents. My dad has half siblings and they're

626
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 4: treated better paid for cars in college, and my cousins

627
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 4: are treated better than me and my siblings. If you

628
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 4: don't want to cause drama, buy a few twenty three

629
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 4: and me kits and frame it as if you wanted

630
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 4: to do something fun for the whole family. You'll get

631
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 4: your answer. Ope, replies, I did, and I didn't like

632
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 4: what I found out. It was completely by mistake that

633
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 4: I found out. I didn't mean to my dad isn't

634
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 4: my real dad. I was an in vitro baby. I

635
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 4: knew this all along. I found out by connecting with

636
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 4: my half siblings found on the site that our bio

637
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 4: dad was a donor. Most of them knew I didn't. However,

638
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 4: I don't think my dad knows. My dad always points

639
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 4: to my physical features that we share and personality things

640
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 4: we have in common. I don't have it in me

641
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,719
Speaker 4: to reveal this, so I hold it in. I honestly

642
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 4: didn't even think about it until you guys brought it up.

643
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 4: But if you scroll through my history, you'll see I

644
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 4: found this out a couple.

645
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 5: Of years ago. Common number two info.

646
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 4: I really don't understand the bit or out about the

647
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 4: Santa is done for us note op he responds, it's

648
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 4: a note his mother wrote him that basically reads that

649
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 4: now that you've graduated and you're an adult, you're responsible

650
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 4: for being Santa. When my dad saw I looked taken

651
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 4: aback when they said I would have had nothing from

652
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 4: Santa on Christmas morning, he went to his memorabilia box

653
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 4: and gave me that note. Sorry for the confusion. There

654
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 4: is a reply that makes things more confusing. So they

655
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 4: asked you what you wanted for Christmas and then handed

656
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 4: you this old note Grandma wrote your dad back when

657
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 4: he was considered an adult, saying sorry, no more gifts

658
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 4: for you, even though they asked what you wanted you specifically,

659
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 4: since your husband seems to have gotten stuff.

660
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 5: I need more clarity on what is.

661
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 4: Going on here, Opie responds, I really don't know what

662
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 4: else to say. That's what happened, and it confused me too.

663
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 4: He didn't hand me that note until my mom said

664
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 4: no more Sannah on Christ's morning and he saw I

665
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 4: looked a bit disappointed. They love my husband, especially my mom.

666
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 4: Another reply says, but Sanna's still came for your mom

667
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 4: and your forty year old brother.

668
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 5: What the heck again?

669
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 4: Another reply says, yeah, it seems like they're basically punishing

670
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 4: Opi for becoming a parent, and not even her husband,

671
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 4: just Opie because she's pregnant.

672
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 5: This is so weird.

673
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 4: It's like they wanted her to internally be they're a

674
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 4: little baby, and now that she's having one of her own,

675
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 4: they can't handle it. Common number three not the a hole.

676
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 4: So they gave everybody else heaps of nice presents and

677
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 4: you hardly anything. That's a bit cruel, especially since you

678
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 4: just want stuff for your baby. Was there any discussion

679
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 4: over Santa prior, like, is there any reason why you

680
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 4: wouldn't have gotten any presence from Santa?

681
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 5: Ope?

682
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 4: He says, Nope, no discussion. So it was honestly a shock.

683
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 4: I pay for the family dinner. I sent roses to

684
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 4: my mother this year when she didn't feel well, and

685
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 4: I talk with my parents quite a bit. I'm actually

686
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 4: really confused, and so are we.

687
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 5: But we have an update.

688
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 4: Mm yeah, let's just yeah, let's just find out more.

689
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 3: I guess tell Bell says, Ope, he needs to confront

690
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 3: both parents and stop assuming anything. This annoys me so much.

691
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 3: Just ask very true, though it does seem like she

692
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 3: was asking why she doesn't have gifts and he was like,

693
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 3: no Santa this year. Yeah, and it's.

694
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 5: Just very confusing.

695
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd feel like so I didn't Hubby get my

696
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 4: Opie's husband literally got like cool stuff. My oldest brother

697
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 4: got literally the entire workshed over there.

698
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 5: Uh, and I got pretty much. I got a rock.

699
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 3: I got a rock.

700
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 5: I got Ramen.

701
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy. I got Inoculus, I got tools, I

702
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 3: got romen.

703
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 5: I got that's crazy.

704
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 3: I got candy. I got new shoes.

705
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 4: I got ramen. Hey, you know what is that bit

706
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 4: going on? Just some just some people, Ramen is their

707
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 4: number one thing.

708
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 6: Yeah.

709
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 3: I never I made a lot of homemade ramen.

710
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 4: But their knowledge is an update. One of the commentaris

711
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 4: suggested actually taking a twenty three in me test and

712
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 4: seeing if it matched my parents. I had done so

713
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 4: two years ago and posted about it on this account

714
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 4: because I was struggling with the revelation that my dad

715
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 4: is not my bio dad and how it may have impacted.

716
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 5: How I grew up.

717
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 4: I forgot to consider this until I read this comment.

718
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 4: My mom knows my dad either doesn't or doesn't want

719
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 4: me to know. Either way, I'm not going to give

720
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 4: my mother the AAMMO to hurt me with by broaching

721
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 4: this topic with them. I know that's what she'll do.

722
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:15,760
Speaker 4: I know my mother didn't love me as a child,

723
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 4: because she called me up a couple of years ago

724
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 4: and let it slip saying I wish I had loved

725
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,919
Speaker 4: you when you were a child, not saying I wish

726
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 4: I had loved you more or anything like that, just

727
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 4: point blank I didn't love you. It's just none of

728
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 4: this made itself known during Christmas. Ever, I was shocked.

729
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 4: I've spoken with both parents, and my dad was beyond apologetic.

730
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,280
Speaker 4: He said that the note was really something he treasured

731
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 4: as a symbol of leading his own house. Okay, that

732
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 4: should have been that should have been Okay, this should

733
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,919
Speaker 4: been talked about so much more.

734
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, it doesn't really read well. And Opie just doesn't

735
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 3: get gifts anymore and everyone else does.

736
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 5: It's like, hey, kid, you're a parent.

737
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,320
Speaker 3: Now you're a parent. Now, no gifts for you.

738
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 5: You're the leader of the house.

739
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 3: Because if it was like, ope, he gets gifts and

740
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 3: then he with the baby stuff says you're Sanna now,

741
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 3: Like that would be different. That'd be different. It'd be like, Okay, wow,

742
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 3: this is lovely, you know, I'm no more Santa. Yeah, yeah,

743
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:15,439
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

744
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 4: I feel like that's all this could be true, but

745
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:19,240
Speaker 4: I feel like that's all bs.

746
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it's like a from Grandma's like handed it down,

747
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 3: like I want generational trauma.

748
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:26,719
Speaker 5: Yeah what.

749
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 4: He said that it was very poorly timed and that

750
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 4: he whipped it out to cover the awkwardness. He was blindsided.

751
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,959
Speaker 4: He works and she's retired. My dad trusts my mom

752
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 4: with the shopping. He tried to broach the topic with

753
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 4: my mom before I talked to her, and it did

754
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:46,240
Speaker 4: not go well. She became incredibly defensive, to the point

755
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 4: that he had to call me to tell me not

756
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,240
Speaker 4: to reach out to her until she called me herself.

757
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 5: So I waited.

758
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,280
Speaker 4: She said she did get me another gift, some plates

759
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 4: and bulls, and told me they were on the way.

760
00:35:58,880 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 5: I thanked her.

761
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 4: Other than that she didn't acknowledge Christmas had happened or

762
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 4: that there were any disparities. She knows that I know

763
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 4: that what she did was wrong, and she doesn't want

764
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 4: to talk about it.

765
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 5: Yes, I spoke with my husband. I laid it all.

766
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 4: Out for him, and when he understood that this was

767
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 4: much more than about a woman, not getting enough gifts.

768
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 4: He backed off his a whole judgment. My husband admitted

769
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 4: that he doesn't know what any of this is, what

770
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 4: any of this is like, but that he's proud of

771
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 4: how I handled myself given the circumstances, and he will

772
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 4: continue to support me.

773
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:32,760
Speaker 5: There's a little bit left to the story.

774
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,920
Speaker 4: So so how how do we feel feeling better?

775
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 3: Clearly the mom is the issue here. I don't know

776
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 3: why she's acting like this, but uh, I think keep

777
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 3: going through your dad, maybe give her some time to

778
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 3: cool off, and hopefully we can. You know, she can

779
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 3: come around, but for now doesn't seem like it's.

780
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 5: You know, yeah, not your best Christmas. Op. Oh, but

781
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:57,760
Speaker 5: that's okay.

782
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 4: You're gonna have a baby soon and you're gonna be Sanna,

783
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 4: Santa Sanna.

784
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 3: Yeah. Hopefully your dad learns that he should participate in

785
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 3: the gift giving.

786
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I don't know that.

787
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 4: I feel like you need to have a full on

788
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 4: conversation with that. Maybe you did or didn't, but I'd

789
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 4: have been like that that sucked.

790
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, that wasn't cool.

791
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:19,280
Speaker 3: That was not cool.

792
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 4: But let's go ahead and finish up the story. My

793
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 4: husband said, we also have a couple of options, we

794
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 4: can cut off my entire side of the family altogether,

795
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,359
Speaker 4: but that it wouldn't be possible to just cut out

796
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,400
Speaker 4: my mom. I'm not ready to cut ties with my dad,

797
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:36,320
Speaker 4: so we went with option too. Set up some ground rules.

798
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:40,439
Speaker 4: We will, under no circumstances give them any unsupervised time

799
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 4: with the baby. We will not go to visit them.

800
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 4: We will not let them stay in our house. I

801
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:50,239
Speaker 4: will not call my mom. I will answer, but be

802
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 4: sure and sweet when I talk. Even if she does

803
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:57,800
Speaker 4: decide to acknowledge the past and truly apologize, I will

804
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 4: forgive her, but I won't forget. They will have a

805
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 4: very insignificant role in my son's life. I don't know,

806
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 4: I get the ground rules, but I think those are

807
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 4: I think we're a little heightened here. I think we

808
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 4: need to take a step back and maybe just have

809
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 4: a conversation with mom.

810
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 3: That's what I was gonna say. I know the dad

811
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,600
Speaker 3: said wait until she cools down, which I think you

812
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 3: can still do. But I think you can at one

813
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 3: point and have a conversation with her, because I feel like,

814
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 3: let's see why she did it.

815
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, Hey, it's Sam, I'm your og host

816
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,399
Speaker 1: here we're gonna get back to the stories, but here's

817
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

818
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 6: I can't choose between the girl of my dreams and

819
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 6: my best friend.

820
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:35,720
Speaker 3: Don't make me choose.

821
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 6: When I, twenty four male, was fifteen, I fell for

822
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 6: a girl we'll call Lily, twenty four female, who was

823
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 6: clearly also fifteen. She was She was my dad's best

824
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 6: friend's daughter. We met when we were six, and she

825
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 6: has always been the person who motivated me in life.

826
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 6: Even at a young age, I felt like she was

827
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 6: miles ahead of me and everything. She always seemed to

828
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 6: have everything together. She was playing sports, making good grades

829
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 6: in school, I had tons of friends, had a great

830
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:14,879
Speaker 6: connection with her family, and seemed highly motivated by the way.

831
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 6: This comes from user Echo two one one, and if

832
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 6: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

833
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,800
Speaker 6: r slash Okay storytime subburn it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia,

834
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 6: and I'm Keon, and we're here to give you good advice. Goofilly.

835
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:31,839
Speaker 6: But we don't have all the answers. We're just mirror mortals.

836
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 6: We only know what we would do. So if you'd

837
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 6: do something different, why don't you just let us know

838
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 6: in the comments, as Op says, Meanwhile, I could hardly

839
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:45,040
Speaker 6: motivate myself to do anything before meeting her. I think

840
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 6: it had a lot to do with my troubled childhood.

841
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 6: My biological mother passed away giving birth to me, and

842
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,720
Speaker 6: I think the whole experience really broke my father mentally.

843
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 6: He remarried by the time I was two, to a

844
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 6: woman who pretty much treated me like dirt my entire life.

845
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 6: It probably sounds ridiculous, but meeting Lily really turned my

846
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 6: life around. I picked up soccer and fell in love

847
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 6: with the game. I worked hard in school, got my

848
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 6: grades up, and I was always striving to be a

849
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:15,799
Speaker 6: better person like her. We formed a great connection. When

850
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 6: she turned fifteen, her dad took a job offer in

851
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 6: New York. We're from Maryland. I was always certain that

852
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 6: if they hadn't moved, Lily and I would have dated,

853
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 6: had kids, and lived happily ever after. When Lily left,

854
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 6: I felt pretty lost. We stayed in touch via texting

855
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:33,680
Speaker 6: and emailing, but it wasn't the same as in person.

856
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 6: I met a girl, Gabrielle twenty three female shortly after

857
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 6: Lily left, and we hit it off pretty well. In

858
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 6: high school, We quickly became best friends, and due to

859
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,439
Speaker 6: my family situation, I spent a lot of time with her.

860
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 6: In many ways, she reminded me of Lily, although they

861
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:53,320
Speaker 6: were different. I won't say we were very romantically involved,

862
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 6: but we did kiss on a few different occasions. She

863
00:40:55,880 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 6: inevitably became my first crush. Though no, no, no, no,

864
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 6: that would be Lily. You thought about having a whole

865
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 6: life with her, that would be your first crush. Though

866
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,959
Speaker 6: every time she got a boyfriend, I respectfully backed off,

867
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 6: giving them proper space for someone in a relationship. In college,

868
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 6: during a couple of those times when Gabrielle had a

869
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:21,799
Speaker 6: boyfriend and I couldn't spend time with her, I would

870
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 6: catch the train to New York to watch Lily play

871
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 6: soccer for her college team.

872
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:29,720
Speaker 3: You're double time in your crushes, Like I said.

873
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,359
Speaker 6: We kept in touch via text, but I never told

874
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 6: her I would go watch her play.

875
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:34,840
Speaker 1: Why.

876
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 6: I felt it would be too hard for me to

877
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:40,360
Speaker 6: physically interact with her, knowing the situation. Looking back, I

878
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 6: kind of regret it. Maybe we could have tried the

879
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:46,840
Speaker 6: long distance thing and started dating exclusively sooner. Fast forward

880
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 6: to now, I graduated college took a great federal IT

881
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 6: job opportunity with growth potential, and one day our hiring

882
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:58,240
Speaker 6: manager brings in a new hire. I turned around rearly

883
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 6: fell out of my chair. I saw that it was

884
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:06,840
Speaker 6: a Lily. We basically picked up right where we left

885
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 6: off nine years ago. Lily's best friend actually works in

886
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 6: our office as well. She joined the team around the

887
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:15,240
Speaker 6: same time as me, and I never realized they were friends.

888
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 6: They often speak to each other in Korean, but they

889
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 6: don't know that I took it off courses in college

890
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 6: and practiced on my own to understand Korean.

891
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 3: I feel like if if if Lily spoke Korean before

892
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 3: then he absolutely took Korean.

893
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:31,160
Speaker 5: Of course, poor Lily, I was gonna say the same thing.

894
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:33,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, but here, Oh my god, this man is obsessed

895
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,320
Speaker 3: with the girl he knew from six to fifteen.

896
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,799
Speaker 5: Cue the Mariah Carey song dang Man.

897
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 6: So they don't know I can understand Korean, although I

898
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 6: admit I can't speak it fluently. Her best friend is

899
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 6: always teasing her about me, and she often drops hints dude,

900
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:55,399
Speaker 6: long story short, ask her out, Yeah, come on, long

901
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 6: story short. We started talking, going on lunch dates and

902
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 6: hanging out outside of work. We play on a co

903
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 6: ed soccer team together to share similar values in life,

904
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 6: financial goals, and all that good jazz. It's perfect. During

905
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 6: the time after college and starting this job, Gabrielle and

906
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 6: I sort of lost contact. We both got busy and

907
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 6: worked in different cities. While I still considered her my

908
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 6: best friend, we didn't hang out anymore, just occasional phone

909
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 6: calls and texting. After I explained my rekindled friendship with

910
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 6: Lily over the phone, Gabrielle nearly immediately began to seek

911
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:30,840
Speaker 6: a more serious relationship with me. She got the fomo.

912
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 6: She knows I've always had a thing for her, but

913
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,799
Speaker 6: it seems it took a couple of bad relationships in

914
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 6: nearly nine years of friendship for her to see what

915
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:41,240
Speaker 6: she had in front of her. In the gentlest way possible,

916
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 6: I declined, wanting to seek something more serious with her.

917
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,439
Speaker 6: Our timing had just passed. I've pretty much explained everything

918
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 6: about Gabrielle to Lily, and she gave me her honest opinion.

919
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 6: It's clear that we like each other a lot. I'll

920
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,839
Speaker 6: go on, I'll go on and say I love her.

921
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 6: No one else in the world in my eyes, will

922
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 6: ever compare to her personality, looks, sense of safety and

923
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 6: well being everything. Can I or should I still be

924
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 6: friends with Gabrielle? Why not? I would say no.

925
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,799
Speaker 3: Really, yeah, she's only expressed interest. I think you can.

926
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 3: I disagree with that. I think they want to be

927
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 3: friends with it.

928
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 6: It's passed past. She's she's gonna throw a wrench in

929
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 6: the whole thing. She's gonna she's gonna do it. As

930
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 6: soon as you were were clear that you were into

931
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 6: Lily and that she's there and that you're gonna pursue something,

932
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 6: Gabrielle turned around and said, hey, pursue me. That's not

933
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 6: ever gonna stop. I think it's never gonna stop.

934
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 3: Make very clear. I think you so go to Gabrielle

935
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 3: and you say like, hey, not gonna happen. You know,

936
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 3: I want to pursue this single Lily. I would love

937
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 3: to still be friends. And then you set boundaries, and

938
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 3: if those boundaries are passed, then you cut the French ball.

939
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 3: But I don't think you have to throw it away.

940
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 3: You know, without without you.

941
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 6: Can't do it.

942
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 3: I don't know you cannot do that as someone to.

943
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 6: She isn't a bad person in my eyes, and I

944
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 6: don't see anything particularly wrong with us. But I guess

945
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 6: it's possible to question whether remaining friends is realistic based

946
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,600
Speaker 6: on the situation. Despite our strange friendship over the years,

947
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:17,200
Speaker 6: many called it friends with benefits. I never really personally

948
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 6: left her strung along, though that's how most of my

949
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 6: friends saw it, even though I liked and cared about her.

950
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:25,400
Speaker 6: We never explicitly said let's try dating, and honestly, I

951
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 6: think I always had Lily subconsciously in the back of

952
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 6: my mind, which made our friendship. Despite the periods where

953
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:35,239
Speaker 6: Gabrielle had boyfriends okay with me. I've never been one

954
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 6: with a lot of friends, so the close ones I

955
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 6: do have are quite special to me, and Gabrielle has

956
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,799
Speaker 6: been there in my times of need, boyfriends or not.

957
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 6: I guess what I'm trying to say is is it

958
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 6: okay to be selfish for love and be with the

959
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,360
Speaker 6: one person that makes you feel the most alive in

960
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 6: the entire world, even if it disregards conflicts and troubles

961
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 6: of others, even best friends, to make yourself happy.

962
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 3: Dude, Yes, the thing is what I'm saying here, Go

963
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 3: after this dream love that you've had since you were

964
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 3: six years old. Don't let anyone stand in the way

965
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:06,840
Speaker 3: of that. My point is that you don't have to

966
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 3: sacrifice that friendship unless Gabrielle says that you know, shows

967
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 3: any evidence that she cannot be okay with this and

968
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 3: cannot continue to be friends with her. You with you.

969
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:18,400
Speaker 3: I don't think that you're doing anything wrong, but just

970
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:19,240
Speaker 3: think you've.

971
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 6: Got a downgrade to acquaintance. My guy, if you were

972
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 6: crushing and hooking up for nine years, you cannot go

973
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,879
Speaker 6: back to the same level of connection that you had

974
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 6: with her now that you have Lily as like your

975
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 6: soulmate in your life. And I guarantee you if you

976
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 6: put all three of you in a room, Gabrielle is

977
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 6: gonna get.

978
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,800
Speaker 3: Weird, and if she does that, you cut her off.

979
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 6: Lily and I are officially a couple boom. But I

980
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 6: can't shake this awful feeling of guilt for Gabrielle that

981
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 6: I just ditched her as soon as the girl I've

982
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,399
Speaker 6: always wanted came back into my life.

983
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 3: You've never dated her. I don't understand that feeling because

984
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 3: you never did. She never dated you. She was always

985
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,439
Speaker 3: dating other guys. And I guess, like, if you think

986
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:07,279
Speaker 3: that you can't be friends with her, then, don't you know?

987
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,360
Speaker 3: Set that boundary? But like, there's no guilt to be

988
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:10,839
Speaker 3: had here.

989
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 6: I've already told Gabrielle now, and she's been giving me

990
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:16,799
Speaker 6: the cold shoulder for weeks. Now, I feel obligated to

991
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 6: attempt to work it out with her for our friendship's sake.

992
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 6: I don't know if our friendship is really ruined or

993
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:24,760
Speaker 6: if it's even worth trying to save. You're done, it's done.

994
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:25,880
Speaker 6: I think if she's done in.

995
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 3: You the cold shoulder, then that's different. I think that

996
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 3: is the proof that I was saying.

997
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 6: I don't know if our friendship is really ruined or

998
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,879
Speaker 6: if it's even worth trying to save. So that's why

999
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,600
Speaker 6: I want the advice of someone looking from the outside.

1000
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 6: I feel guilty about not even trying, but I'm not

1001
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 6: sure if I should. I'm not even sure if I

1002
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 6: should feel guilty at all. I've never been this happy

1003
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,360
Speaker 6: in my entire life with anyone. Should I try to

1004
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,400
Speaker 6: save my friendship with Gabrielle or just focus on myself

1005
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:57,280
Speaker 6: and Lilyan hope she comes around eventually. There is an update.

1006
00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,280
Speaker 6: I really like that second part. I think you already

1007
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 6: focused enough, You've done whatever you needed to do to

1008
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,919
Speaker 6: try to make it work, and it's clearly not going

1009
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:09,399
Speaker 6: to so just let it be. Update. I know it's

1010
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 6: only been a couple of days since my original post,

1011
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 6: but I figured this is the most significant step I

1012
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:18,920
Speaker 6: think I'll make worth really sharing. Gabrielle reached out to

1013
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 6: me last Friday via text and asked if I could

1014
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 6: meet up with her for some coffee or something. I

1015
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 6: won't lie. I was extremely apprehensive, despite originally being very

1016
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 6: set on saving our friendship, but I talked it over

1017
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 6: with Lily. Good good idea, and she told me that

1018
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 6: I had nothing to worry about. I think it's great.

1019
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 3: I think there is a chance that Gabrielle tries to

1020
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 3: throw a ranch in things. I think there's also a

1021
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 3: chance that Gabrielle says, you know, I thought about it,

1022
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 3: and I really care about our friendship, and I'm deciding

1023
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 3: to put these feelings aside, and you know, I want

1024
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,440
Speaker 3: to focus on that, I think, but I also think

1025
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:51,359
Speaker 3: it's good that you told Lily.

1026
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 6: Either way, Lily wasn't worried about me and Gabrielle. She

1027
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,879
Speaker 6: believed that I should hear what Gabrielle had to say

1028
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,839
Speaker 6: at the very least so reluctantly, I agreed to meet

1029
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 6: with her, even though my gut told me I probably shouldn't.

1030
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:06,839
Speaker 6: It's not like I thought anything would happen. It's just

1031
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,040
Speaker 6: that saying no to someone over the phone or through

1032
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:12,359
Speaker 6: text is far less difficult than in person. We met

1033
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:14,719
Speaker 6: at a small cafe a few blocks from her apartment.

1034
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 6: She was already sitting there when I arrived, and I

1035
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 6: was so nervous to see her, but I went in

1036
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:22,720
Speaker 6: and sat down anyway. She could clearly tell how nervous

1037
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:24,960
Speaker 6: I was, and at first seemed to take every bit

1038
00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 6: of advantage of it. We sat in silence for the

1039
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 6: first five minutes or so, but she kept giving me

1040
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:33,319
Speaker 6: this look, a look she used to give me when

1041
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 6: we'd go to parties together. Ay, Hey, I'm I say,

1042
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 6: I'm bored, Let's go back to my place, and kind

1043
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 6: of look okay, okay.

1044
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 3: And this is why we didn't need to do this.

1045
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 3: But now you know, moving, I know, moving around the

1046
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 3: thing is what he would have been like thinking about it.

1047
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 3: Now he knows, now he's the conversation.

1048
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 6: Opie continued. I couldn't even look away from her, but

1049
00:49:57,560 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 6: eventually I got up from the table and told her

1050
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,440
Speaker 6: I wasn't there for the that I felt her a

1051
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 6: tug on my sleeve, and when I looked back, she

1052
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:05,839
Speaker 6: had already begun to cry. So I sat back down

1053
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:07,920
Speaker 6: and listened as she started confessing that she hoped the

1054
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 6: day would never come, that I found someone special in

1055
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 6: my life other than her, and that she deeply regretted

1056
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 6: taking my company in affection for granted, while she had it,

1057
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 6: I had always been her biggest regret. She apologized for

1058
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 6: everything she has done, all the years of leading me on,

1059
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,799
Speaker 6: pushing me to the side to date other guys, and

1060
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 6: then pulling me back in when no one was there

1061
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 6: for her. I tried to apologize as well, for my

1062
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 6: end of the hardship and the way things ended, but

1063
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 6: she abruptly stopped me at this point, getting very emotional

1064
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:38,240
Speaker 6: once again, you want to apologize for being in love

1065
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 6: with the love of your life. What are we doing?

1066
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 6: She told me to promise her I'd never let anyone

1067
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 6: do to me what she ultimately did to me, and

1068
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 6: to value myself and not let my kindness and fair

1069
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:57,880
Speaker 6: nature be mistreated and walked over. After her little breakdown,

1070
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 6: she got herself together and we talked a bit more

1071
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 6: about the past, the present, and future goals, and just

1072
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,840
Speaker 6: kind of talked about whatever came up. Before I left.

1073
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,439
Speaker 6: She told me that today was her last day there.

1074
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 6: She had taken a job in Canada and would be

1075
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 6: catching a flight later today so she could be closer

1076
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,719
Speaker 6: to family and with her mom again. She also asked

1077
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 6: that I removed her number from my phone and she

1078
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 6: would do the same. It seemed extreme at the time,

1079
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:24,799
Speaker 6: but I did it anyway, and maybe it was for

1080
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 6: the best.

1081
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 3: I think so, yes, it was.

1082
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 6: So she's going to Canada. We're losing each other's numbers.

1083
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 6: We stopped at my car, hugged one last time, and

1084
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 6: wished each other the best in life before watching her

1085
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:37,720
Speaker 6: walk away for the last time.

1086
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 4: It's a break It's pretty much a breakup. It's a relationship,

1087
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:43,680
Speaker 4: it's friendship breakup. It's a friendship breakup, and I mean

1088
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,360
Speaker 4: a little bit more than that. With the physical stuff.

1089
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 6: This could have been a FaceTime. Not gonna lie, a

1090
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:52,359
Speaker 6: little anti climactic or weird, but that's how our friendship ended.

1091
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 6: In the long run, all I needed to do was

1092
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 6: wait long enough. But who really knows. I don't feel

1093
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,839
Speaker 6: sad or disappointed in the way it ended. As I said,

1094
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 6: it's probably the best and I'm honestly satisfied with the closure.

1095
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,840
Speaker 5: You know why, because you got what you wanted.

1096
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:08,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, you got right.

1097
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 4: You know what this is giving me to make a

1098
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 4: movie reference because we all love it.

1099
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 5: It's a Scott.

1100
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,239
Speaker 4: Pilgrim reference when he's like in the train car where

1101
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:19,720
Speaker 4: he breaks up with knives. He's like, oh, I'm sad,

1102
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,880
Speaker 4: and then he's like, wait, I got Ramona, I'm so

1103
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:25,120
Speaker 4: much happier now. Yeah, that's what it is.

1104
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 6: Now we will finish this story. As for Lily and me,

1105
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:31,840
Speaker 6: looking back at my original post, I didn't make it

1106
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:34,160
Speaker 6: as clear as I should. We've been dating since the

1107
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:38,319
Speaker 6: end of January and it's been going great. It was

1108
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 6: never really about Gabrielle versus Lily. My answer was always

1109
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:44,280
Speaker 6: Lily more so, I just didn't know if I should

1110
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 6: keep trying to force a friendship based on nine years

1111
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:50,760
Speaker 6: of prior history. That's called the sunk cost fallacy. My guy. Also,

1112
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 6: it turns out it wasn't as much as a one

1113
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:57,760
Speaker 6: sided crush as I originally thought, with Lily, not her friend,

1114
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:00,960
Speaker 6: the one I work with. Gleefully told me the embarrassing

1115
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,920
Speaker 6: story of how Lily asked her to keep tabs on me.

1116
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 6: This eventually led to Lily looking for a job back

1117
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:10,359
Speaker 6: in Maryland instead of New York where she graduated. While

1118
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 6: I wasn't the only reason she came back, Apparently I

1119
00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 6: played a pretty big part in it, which makes me happy. Yeah,

1120
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 6: it makes me happy. Look at it. I'm smiling. Thanks

1121
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 6: for all the advice. While the issue eventually sorted itself out,

1122
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 6: the comments were really an eye opener as to what

1123
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,239
Speaker 6: I actually went through over the years. It was really

1124
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,720
Speaker 6: nice to get some unbiased opinions on what I should

1125
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 6: do and that if leando that story and there you go,

1126
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 6: and there you have it, fogs and there you have it. Thugs.

1127
00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 6: That's a nice, happy ending. Here's John Yog host.

1128
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:46,759
Speaker 5: Here.

1129
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1130
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 1: quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1131
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:54,160
Speaker 3: My boyfriend said my sleep schedule made me too boring

1132
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:54,840
Speaker 3: to be with.

1133
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 6: Come on, baby, gotta get up this stuff to do.

1134
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:03,319
Speaker 3: Tom twenty one male, and I twenty one female, have

1135
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 3: been together since we were seventeen, and right now we

1136
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 3: live together with my dad. I've recently been trying to

1137
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:11,799
Speaker 3: sort out my sleep schedules so that on the days

1138
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,239
Speaker 3: when I work, it's easier for me to get out

1139
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:15,960
Speaker 3: of bed and I can get up early enough to

1140
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 3: cycle to work. By the way, this comes from conversation sixteen,

1141
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:21,560
Speaker 3: twenty twenty. And if you want to spit your own stories,

1142
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay storytime severed it.

1143
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 6: I'm Sofia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're here to.

1144
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,120
Speaker 3: Give good advice. Goofully. But we don't have all the answers.

1145
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 3: We only know what we do, so let us know

1146
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:33,280
Speaker 3: what you would do in the comments and op says.

1147
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 3: On week days, I normally get up around five, and

1148
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,879
Speaker 3: if I'm working, I'll leave at six. On my days off,

1149
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 3: I'll go for a walk and do some exercise. In

1150
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 3: the evenings, I try to have a shower and get

1151
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:47,839
Speaker 3: ready for bed around nine pm so I can go

1152
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,440
Speaker 3: to bed by nine thirty PM. I enjoy doing this

1153
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:53,440
Speaker 3: as it makes me feel more rusted, more productive, and

1154
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,360
Speaker 3: generally healthier. He is a night owl and doesn't go

1155
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:59,840
Speaker 3: to bed until anywhere between two thirty and four am

1156
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 3: every night.

1157
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:03,960
Speaker 6: Ew I know someone who does.

1158
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 3: That, ewwa, Ewwa. This means he doesn't wake up until

1159
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 3: ten am at the earliest. His sleeping habits don't bother me,

1160
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:16,480
Speaker 3: and while it would be nice to go to bed together,

1161
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:19,120
Speaker 3: I am happy with the way things are, especially as

1162
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:21,080
Speaker 3: we both only work two or three days a week.

1163
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,480
Speaker 3: This leaves us with plenty of time to spend together

1164
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,959
Speaker 3: during the week. If he were saying that your sleep

1165
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:28,960
Speaker 3: schedule made you boring, because like, let's say it's the

1166
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 3: weekend and he's like, hey, let's go and like see

1167
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 3: a concert or something, and you're like, no, I can't

1168
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 3: be out past nine. Yeah, that would be different. If

1169
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:39,800
Speaker 3: you made a saw like you were like, I cannot

1170
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 3: stay up past nine and you never went out to

1171
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:44,720
Speaker 3: hang out with him or whatever. That would I would

1172
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 3: be like, I kind of get where he's coming from.

1173
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:48,319
Speaker 3: But it seems like he just wants you to be

1174
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:52,759
Speaker 3: awake at two in the morning, which is unreasonable and night. Yeah,

1175
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:56,560
Speaker 3: let's find out if his sleeping pattern is working for him,

1176
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 3: that's all that matters. I don't think it's my place

1177
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 3: to try and change it. He, however, does have a

1178
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 3: habit of making me feel bad when I tell him

1179
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 3: I'm going to bed. We have a large room to ourselves,

1180
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:10,359
Speaker 3: and all our consoles, his computer, our TV, etc. Are

1181
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 3: in our bedroom.

1182
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, that's why he's upset. Because he's got a

1183
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:15,800
Speaker 6: quiet game.

1184
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,960
Speaker 3: While you're asleep, he can't he can't play his video game.

1185
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 6: Dude, headphones, quiet voice.

1186
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,719
Speaker 3: I ask him to go upstairs there's another TV, and

1187
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:27,360
Speaker 3: he keeps his laptop up there too, for half an

1188
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:30,120
Speaker 3: hour while I try to sleep. After I'm asleep, he

1189
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 3: can come back downstairs and game or do whatever, as

1190
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:35,800
Speaker 3: long as he leaves the main lights off and keeps

1191
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:39,799
Speaker 3: the noise down. Normally, when I ask him to do this,

1192
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,600
Speaker 3: he'll sulk. Last time, he told me he doesn't think

1193
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:44,960
Speaker 3: he can be with someone like this, and that's sleeping

1194
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:50,279
Speaker 3: like this has made me incredibly boring. Woo hoo, woo hoo.

1195
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:53,400
Speaker 6: You know what's actually really boring to a lot of people,

1196
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 6: just like watching their partner play video games.

1197
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:58,479
Speaker 3: I would happily compromise with him and stay up later

1198
00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:00,799
Speaker 3: on the weekends to go out or stay in and

1199
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:04,359
Speaker 3: spend time together, but he works Friday and Saturday nights

1200
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:07,600
Speaker 3: until twelve or one am. Actually I do stay up

1201
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 3: that late anyway, because he doesn't drive, so I drop

1202
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 3: him to work and pick him up whenever we get

1203
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:15,319
Speaker 3: back after his shift. He still asks me to stay

1204
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 3: up with him. Last weekend, I thought we reached a

1205
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:20,480
Speaker 3: good solution for the nights he works. I said I

1206
00:57:20,480 --> 00:57:22,440
Speaker 3: would cook for him so when he came back, he

1207
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 3: didn't have to spend time making food, and we could

1208
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:27,520
Speaker 3: watch an episode of a TV show before I go

1209
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,960
Speaker 3: to bed. That's all I can do before I can't

1210
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 3: stay up any longer. He seemed happy with that solution,

1211
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 3: but we haven't tried it yet, so I don't know

1212
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:36,920
Speaker 3: if that'll work. I don't know what to do. He

1213
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,640
Speaker 3: really seems angry at me, and I don't know why.

1214
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 3: I don't think it's asking a lot for him to

1215
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 3: leave our room while I'm trying to sleep, and the

1216
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 3: only couple of days I would be willing to stay

1217
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 3: up later he's already working. Why not move all the

1218
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 3: tech to the other room. Then he can still play

1219
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 3: his games and doesn't have to be as quiet, Like,

1220
00:57:55,240 --> 00:57:57,280
Speaker 3: why don't we just like adjust that?

1221
00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 6: So I doeople are really attached to their setups.

1222
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 3: So I don't think this is something to break up over,

1223
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 3: because I feel that eventually we will both have jobs

1224
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 3: that are more similar in ours. But I don't know

1225
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:11,080
Speaker 3: what else I can do to make him happy with

1226
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 3: our current situation. And there are some relevant comments, but

1227
00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 3: do you have any relevant Commentsity?

1228
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 6: It sounds like he's super ungrateful, to be honest, Yeah.

1229
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 3: Literally your dad's house.

1230
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 6: You're literally taking him to work and picking him up

1231
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 6: at like one in the morning.

1232
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,800
Speaker 3: You're taking work picking him up. He's living seemingly rent

1233
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:32,440
Speaker 3: free with your father. I feel like he's being pretty.

1234
00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 6: He's calling your schedule boring, but you're literally sacrificing your

1235
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 6: Friday and Saturday nights to pick him up to pick

1236
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:39,080
Speaker 6: him up from work.

1237
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:42,080
Speaker 3: Comments say, is he living with you at your dad's

1238
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:45,439
Speaker 3: house for free? You said you drive him everywhere? Does

1239
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:48,880
Speaker 3: he contribute anything to this situation? Or does he just

1240
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 3: use you for basically everything and then complain about it? Oh,

1241
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 3: he says, we both pay fifty dollars a week each.

1242
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 3: I want to pay two hundred dollars a month.

1243
00:58:58,560 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 5: I want that practically.

1244
00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:03,280
Speaker 3: The driving issue is something that really bothers me, and

1245
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,520
Speaker 3: no matter how much I ask him to learn, he

1246
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:08,520
Speaker 3: doesn't seem to care. The lead had said, I know

1247
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 3: that driving wasn't the main issue you're looking for advice on.

1248
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 3: But seriously, if you're the one who has to drive

1249
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:16,439
Speaker 3: him everywhere, it's not really his choice to not care.

1250
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:18,840
Speaker 3: You should tell him straight up that you're willing to

1251
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 3: teach him, and as long as he's making strides towards

1252
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,720
Speaker 3: learning how to drive and getting him his license, you'll

1253
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 3: keep driving him to work to and from work until

1254
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 3: he can drive himself. But if he doesn't care and

1255
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:33,120
Speaker 3: puts no effort into learning how to drive, you'll stop

1256
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:36,160
Speaker 3: being a chauffeur. If he works that late, it sounds

1257
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 3: like he probably doesn't have another option unless you live

1258
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,920
Speaker 3: in a big city. Public transit usually doesn't run that

1259
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 3: late in my experience, and taking a taxi or uber

1260
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:48,920
Speaker 3: would be crazy expensive in the long run. Stop allowing

1261
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 3: him to be apathetic. Ope, he says, I have told

1262
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:55,280
Speaker 3: him that before I know it takes time to learn

1263
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 3: how to drive. Where we are, you need to log

1264
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 3: a hundred hours before taking a practically, and to be honest,

1265
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 3: I was really slow to get my license. But his

1266
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:09,000
Speaker 3: learner's permit expires in November and he's nowhere near being done. Anyway,

1267
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 3: I tell him I won't drive him, but I can't

1268
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:13,360
Speaker 3: really make him walk home that late in the evening.

1269
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 3: I feel too bad. And edit, I talked to him

1270
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 3: this afternoon when he woke up, and he seemed to

1271
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 3: not want to fight about the sleeping thing anymore. So

1272
01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:24,080
Speaker 3: that's good, I guess. Regardless, this post got way more

1273
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 3: attention than I expected, and there's a few people who

1274
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 3: think he's taking advantage of me. He earns more than

1275
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 3: I do, so it's not like he's using me for money.

1276
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:36,880
Speaker 3: I mean, he's using you for your car and your

1277
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 3: dad's house.

1278
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:39,920
Speaker 6: I don't know if I would say taking advantage of,

1279
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:43,160
Speaker 6: but he's definitely like not. He doesn't seem like he

1280
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:45,600
Speaker 6: appreciates necessarily.

1281
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:46,600
Speaker 3: Yes, all of the privileges that.

1282
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 6: He had, I think he's just taking it for granted.

1283
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 3: That is I think a better term.

1284
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1285
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 3: And with regard to driving, he either goes with his

1286
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 3: stepdad who works odd hours, or my dad, and we've

1287
01:00:57,400 --> 01:01:00,920
Speaker 3: just had a family pass so he feels bad asking

1288
01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:03,440
Speaker 3: my dad right now. Also, I think if I flat

1289
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:05,640
Speaker 3: out refused to drive him to work, he'll start saying

1290
01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 3: he never wanted a manual car and that's why it's

1291
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 3: taking him so long to learn. Anyway, we both need

1292
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 3: to grow up. I've tried talking to him previously about

1293
01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:17,440
Speaker 3: his goals and future plans, but he never really has

1294
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 3: anything to say. I mean, is this the person that

1295
01:01:20,120 --> 01:01:20,800
Speaker 3: you want to be with?

1296
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know. You guys are in two different places,

1297
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:25,160
Speaker 6: very far away from each other.

1298
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 3: Two and a half years later, updates, I was completely

1299
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:32,400
Speaker 3: oblivious to all the problems in our relationship, and I

1300
01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:35,240
Speaker 3: refuse to leave Tom, even though it was very clearly

1301
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:37,440
Speaker 3: the right thing to do. I broke up with him

1302
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:40,439
Speaker 3: maybe six months after I posted, but we got back

1303
01:01:40,480 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 3: together even though I was moving to another country to

1304
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,560
Speaker 3: teach English for a few months. While I was away,

1305
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:48,520
Speaker 3: he hardly ever spoke to me, never asked me how

1306
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:52,040
Speaker 3: I was, and grew increasingly disrespectful to me. I came

1307
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 3: back home early because I felt bad leaving him for

1308
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:57,560
Speaker 3: so long. We had plans to move overseas together, but

1309
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:00,280
Speaker 3: he was getting cold feet, saying he didn't want to

1310
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:02,760
Speaker 3: leave his best friend. I broke up with him again

1311
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 3: and decided to move overseas by myself. It was terrifying

1312
01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 3: to be alone after being with Tom for so long,

1313
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:13,280
Speaker 3: but it was one hundred percent the right decision. Turns out,

1314
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 3: he had started sleeping with his best friend while I

1315
01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:19,960
Speaker 3: was overseas teaching English. Also turns out I'm queer, so

1316
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:20,440
Speaker 3: there's that.

1317
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:22,400
Speaker 6: Wow, we've do well.

1318
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:28,480
Speaker 3: Congratulations, we're diametrically abroad, truly, truly.

1319
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:29,640
Speaker 5: We love self discovery.

1320
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 2: Woo.

1321
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:33,560
Speaker 3: Tom still lives at my dad's place and works the

1322
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:36,680
Speaker 3: same job. I've just bought my first flat. I'm having

1323
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 3: a wonderful time living overseas and being truly independent. I

1324
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,280
Speaker 3: have grown so much in the last few years and

1325
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 3: done nothing I could never imagine doing while I was

1326
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:50,760
Speaker 3: stuck in a passed away relationship. I know now that

1327
01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 3: being alone is so much better than being with someone

1328
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:56,160
Speaker 3: who doesn't love you, Q myself or kid myself. So

1329
01:02:56,320 --> 01:02:58,400
Speaker 3: proud of you. All of that, plus moving to a

1330
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 3: different country. That's really good. Great, and I hope you're

1331
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:03,800
Speaker 3: so much happier now. Oh P says thank you so much.

1332
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:05,880
Speaker 3: It was scary at first to be alone and really

1333
01:03:05,960 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 3: daunting to move countries by myself when that was something

1334
01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:13,000
Speaker 3: we'd always plan together. But I feel immeasurably happy now.

1335
01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 3: Take number two says, congrats. Don't you think it's a

1336
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:18,280
Speaker 3: bit odd that he still lives with your dad?

1337
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:19,080
Speaker 6: Oh P?

1338
01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:22,920
Speaker 3: Says thanks. It's definitely a bit weird. Things ended really

1339
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 3: badly between me and him, and I asked my dad

1340
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:28,120
Speaker 3: to get Tom to move out, but he wouldn't do it,

1341
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 3: and he does pay more rent now, so I guess

1342
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:32,880
Speaker 3: my dad doesn't want to give that up. It was

1343
01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:35,600
Speaker 3: disappointing at the time that my dad didn't stick up

1344
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:38,280
Speaker 3: for me, I guess, but I'm over that now. I'm

1345
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:40,160
Speaker 3: just happy to be living my life for me now.

1346
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:42,960
Speaker 3: Take number two says, good for you. It's weird on

1347
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:45,160
Speaker 3: Tom's part that he would even want to live there.

1348
01:03:45,680 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 3: If someone broke up with me, it would be weird

1349
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:50,560
Speaker 3: for me to live in their parents' house where we

1350
01:03:50,680 --> 01:03:52,920
Speaker 3: used to live together. It sounds like you have a

1351
01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:55,400
Speaker 3: lot more going for you than he does. Oh P

1352
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:59,000
Speaker 3: says yeah, it's very strange. When we broke up at first,

1353
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,280
Speaker 3: it was really amicable, and I said we could both

1354
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:04,080
Speaker 3: continue to stay there since I was moving away, and

1355
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 3: I thought it was kind to give him time to

1356
01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:09,280
Speaker 3: find a new place and all that. But things turned

1357
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:11,200
Speaker 3: to crap after I found out he was sleeping with

1358
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:14,200
Speaker 3: his best friend while we were together. I moved into

1359
01:04:14,200 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 3: my mom's place because I couldn't stand to be around him,

1360
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:19,240
Speaker 3: but he just stayed at my dad's the whole time.

1361
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:21,919
Speaker 6: Oh wait, I forgot that. And no, that's super weird

1362
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:26,120
Speaker 6: that he cheated on her and the dad didn't say, yeah, no,

1363
01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:26,920
Speaker 6: you gotta go.

1364
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:27,480
Speaker 3: I know.

1365
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:31,280
Speaker 6: Okay, that's weird. Sorry, no, that's that's super weird.

1366
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:33,840
Speaker 3: He even said he felt so bad about hurting me,

1367
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:37,360
Speaker 3: not bad enough to move out, though I probably sound

1368
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:39,880
Speaker 3: quite bitter about it, but it didn't cross my mind

1369
01:04:39,880 --> 01:04:42,400
Speaker 3: that often. It would just be nice to understand why

1370
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:43,800
Speaker 3: he thinks it's a normal thing to.

1371
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:47,360
Speaker 6: Do, with the cheating actually insane. It's crazy that you

1372
01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 6: would do that, greaz and that your dad would also.

1373
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:52,280
Speaker 3: Crazy today, and that the dad is like, yeah, just

1374
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:52,640
Speaker 3: do that.

1375
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,000
Speaker 6: Dude must be really good at his job.

1376
01:04:55,120 --> 01:04:55,640
Speaker 3: I guess so,