Speaker 1: Two months ago, but we didn't have a place, so
Speaker 1: we moved to storage, which is already stressful. So I've
Speaker 1: been living out of a suitcase for like eight weeks
Speaker 1: and then like.
Speaker 2: In the storage unit, moved to storage to storage. It
Speaker 2: was it was so stressful.
Speaker 1: I mean like I stayed by Erica, I stayed by friends,
Speaker 1: I was staying with my mom, and then she kicked
Speaker 1: us out and then I was like, wow, I have
Speaker 1: no family, family support. And then we were like traveling
Speaker 1: a lot. So I was like kind of like suppressing
Speaker 1: the fact that I was like intermediate housing intermiture. I
Speaker 1: was homelessing, homelessing. Welcome back to good mone Bad Choices.
Speaker 1: I'm Erica and I'm Miila.
Speaker 3: Happy hump Day, Happy Wednesday. How are you doing. I'm great.
Speaker 3: How are you doing? I'm good, I'm good. Ah you guys.
Speaker 4: It's August, and this month we're talking about birthing all
Speaker 4: different types of things, babies, ideas, and this month is
Speaker 4: sponsored by our favorite black owned, woman owned brand, honey Pot.
Speaker 4: Y'all know, y'all seen Honeypot.
Speaker 1: They're in Target, They're everywhere because it's huge shut out
Speaker 1: to black woman owned feminine wellness products.
Speaker 4: And we're really excited because Honeypot has offered our tribe
Speaker 4: twenty five percent off their entire website.
Speaker 3: That's a huge ass discount.
Speaker 1: It's huge, and they have a lot of stuff over
Speaker 1: there because we care about you and we want you
Speaker 1: to prioritize your pleasure, just like and they.
Speaker 4: We do care about you and we do want you
Speaker 4: to prioritize your pleasure. And Honeypot recently just launched their
Speaker 4: Pleasure collect which I love. They have a whole ritual
Speaker 4: of products or the whole product line, so you can
Speaker 4: create your own rituals around pleasure. So make sure you
Speaker 4: go and check out Honeypot and click the link in
Speaker 4: this episode description or go to honeypot dot co slash
Speaker 4: GMBC to get twenty five percent off.
Speaker 1: Or use GNBC twenty three at checkout. Speaking at pleasure, yes,
Speaker 1: I know we're both in the Tantra school.
Speaker 3: So on a scale of one to ten, where is
Speaker 3: your pleasure today? I love?
Speaker 1: On a scale of wonder ten one to ten, my
Speaker 1: pleasure is I mean currently about it? I'd say it
Speaker 1: nine and nine and a half. Wow, pretty high on
Speaker 1: my pleasure scale.
Speaker 4: What do you need from me to bring your pleasure
Speaker 4: to a solid tent to a ten spot. Today, I
Speaker 4: just needs.
Speaker 3: To be nice to me, Okay, am I usually nice?
Speaker 1: No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, just remember,
Speaker 1: be kind to me. That's all I really need. That's
Speaker 1: all you can provide all episode. I'll be super kind.
Speaker 1: We forgot we have to do our tantric speech to
Speaker 1: each other. I know, just like how lovely we each
Speaker 1: other are and like to ourselves into each other is tantric.
Speaker 4: I wonder if Debvi, just like all day long, is
Speaker 4: just using tantric speach speech, because isn't that it's kind
Speaker 4: of supposed to be just a lifestyle, right, always using
Speaker 4: it at all times.
Speaker 1: It is a lifestyle, and she definitely is because her
Speaker 1: husband is also a part of the practice and a
Speaker 1: part of her school. So I'm assuming all day long though,
Speaker 1: over there just love bombing each other. On the healthy note,
Speaker 1: it's also about like pleasure, using tantric speech, being compassionate,
Speaker 1: using nonviolent communication, which is also kind of like a lifestyle,
Speaker 1: but also like using tantric speech to yourself, and like
Speaker 1: nonviolent communication with yourself is really where it becomes transformative
Speaker 1: because I think so often we think about like the
Speaker 1: outwards the outward pouring of.
Speaker 3: Things, and really it starts with you.
Speaker 1: And I think we forget that because we're not like
Speaker 1: actively talking about ourselves, talking to ourselves out loud. But
Speaker 1: if you know the inner voice, it's like how am
Speaker 1: I feeling? And what can I do for myself to
Speaker 1: bring myself to a ten spot? And like what are
Speaker 1: my needs? Because a lot of times people are not
Speaker 1: asking themselves their own needs because we're always asking what
Speaker 1: other people need. And so I think that's the most
Speaker 1: transformative part for me because it makes me be like
Speaker 1: hyper aware of my own feelings and my own needs
Speaker 1: and like, for a long time, I even know what
Speaker 1: the fuck that meant.
Speaker 3: So the age old saying it all starts with you,
Speaker 3: it really does.
Speaker 1: It's age old, but it takes us to almost old
Speaker 1: to fucking figure it out.
Speaker 4: Well, all the all the old age old sayings, they
Speaker 4: all they they're old, and they're sayings because they're real.
Speaker 3: There's there's truth in all of them.
Speaker 4: Sometimes you feel corny like saying those saying those things,
Speaker 4: but it's like, well, bitch, because it's true.
Speaker 3: You gotta love yourself.
Speaker 1: Well, it's true, and you have to be like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, you just have to be like really diligent
Speaker 1: about like advocating for yourself and evaluating what the fuck
Speaker 1: you need. And also just fuck, was I gonna say
Speaker 1: I forgot come back to me?
Speaker 3: How are you? What's going on? I'm good.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's what i's gonna say. Go ahead, we're gonna
Speaker 1: say no. I was just gonna say that. I realized that, like,
Speaker 1: if I don't feel stressed about something, then I'm like,
Speaker 1: I try to find something.
Speaker 3: That stressed about.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, that's crazy, But that's that's adulting. When
Speaker 1: you're constantly like go, go, go go, and then when
Speaker 1: everything's like not go, you're like, look at the color
Speaker 1: that pillow.
Speaker 3: I hate it. You gotta change everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it just like it's an active practice. Choy
Speaker 1: is an active practice.
Speaker 4: I recently started micro dosing daily because I just felt
Speaker 4: like it was something. I felt like I been on
Speaker 4: edge a lot lately, and I don't necessarily. I mean,
Speaker 4: of course, there's always there's always things happening, there's always
Speaker 4: moving parts of what I'm doing, whether that's the.
Speaker 3: Business or motherhood or my relationship.
Speaker 4: But I just realized that, like I'm not sometimes I
Speaker 4: don't feel like I'm always coping well, and I need
Speaker 4: to feel more grounded because I haven't really been feeling
Speaker 4: super grounded lately, and I know, like for me, plant
Speaker 4: medicine and just in general, plant medicine just grounds you.
Speaker 4: And me and Mila talked about this on like a
Speaker 4: few episodes ago that me and her we took mushrooms
Speaker 4: just randomly one day in the office shout out to
Speaker 4: Lizzie Jeff who left some mushrooms for us and the
Speaker 4: refrigerator in April, and I just got around to eating
Speaker 4: them and I ate a whole one because I thought
Speaker 4: it was a micro dose, which it probably is a
Speaker 4: micro dose.
Speaker 3: It's just I.
Speaker 4: Don't usually consume mushrooms in the micro dose setting. I'm
Speaker 4: always like kind of going all the way. But after
Speaker 4: that experience, I I realized I needed to start microdosing
Speaker 4: more often to feel more grounded because the work that
Speaker 4: we do, yes, there's a lot of grounding, but there's
Speaker 4: a lot of things that happened behind the scenes that
Speaker 4: no one really knows and understands that can make you
Speaker 4: feel super ungrounded. And so I feel I felt like
Speaker 4: I needed support from the plants.
Speaker 1: And it's been helping, it's been supporting you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's been like I've been feeling like the
Speaker 4: microdosing a like every day, kicking in at different times,
Speaker 4: like sometimes way late, or like when I least expect it.
Speaker 4: But I like that though, because it kind of it
Speaker 4: always kind of creeps up exactly when I need it,
Speaker 4: And so I've been it's making me take lots of
Speaker 4: deep breaths and be really patient because.
Speaker 3: Tantric speech is something I struggle with.
Speaker 4: I realize, and with myself and with other people too.
Speaker 4: My patients gets really thin, and I can be I
Speaker 4: can say things that I don't really even mean. I
Speaker 4: just don't care in the moment sometimes, And that's just
Speaker 4: not how I want to be. It's not how I
Speaker 4: want to be portrayed by other people. It's not how
Speaker 4: I want to feel like I'm making leaving people feeling.
Speaker 4: So Yeah, shout out to Mamma mushroom. Shout out to
Speaker 4: Mama mushroom. Shout out to microdosing because it's been helping
Speaker 4: me and I'm surprised, like I haven't really ever Like
Speaker 4: we talk about mushrooms all the time, but I'm always
Speaker 4: using them in such an intense way. I've never just
Speaker 4: used them in casual in a casual way, and so
Speaker 4: I've been enjoying the journey of microdosing.
Speaker 1: I need to tap into it more, like I haven't,
Speaker 1: I think, because you have to surrender to it, you know,
Speaker 1: like there's no not there's no control when it happens
Speaker 1: because you're not like all over the place. But it's
Speaker 1: just like it makes you sit down in ways, and
Speaker 1: I just sometimes I do avoid it because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't have time for that.
Speaker 3: I don't have time for that right now. I have
Speaker 3: other shit to do.
Speaker 1: Everything's always prioritized over I guess micro dosing.
Speaker 3: But it's a micro dosing. You still can be you
Speaker 3: still can get to the shit.
Speaker 1: You gotta know, no, I know, And I think I
Speaker 1: think it's just it's like an excuse too, Like sometimes
Speaker 1: I feel like, uh, like subconsciously, there's attachment to the
Speaker 1: hustle and bustle, there's attachment to the go go go.
Speaker 1: There's almost attachment in weird ways to the stress because
Speaker 1: like if you're not stressed, and like, are you even
Speaker 1: doing That's the most unhealthy thing I've ever said, But
Speaker 1: it's true, Like I think, like Western society is super
Speaker 1: attached to productivity, productivity, and because we're attached to productivity,
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we are confused about what protect productivity
Speaker 1: actually means. You know, like if we're moving around that
Speaker 1: we're like hustle and bustle in them. But I think
Speaker 1: we're most productive sometimes when we can chill the fuck
Speaker 1: out and we know that, but like it never feels
Speaker 1: like it's a good time to do that because there's
Speaker 1: a lot shit that needs to be done. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that the most like beautiful part about getting
Speaker 1: older and about evolving is that like every time you
Speaker 1: check in, there's still more work to do. Just like
Speaker 1: you said, like, I'll curse some motherfucker out real quick,
Speaker 1: Like I could be patient for like five four three two.
Speaker 3: It suck my dack.
Speaker 1: I can go like from like super calm to like
Speaker 1: crazy and asc Orlando. I just cursed him out like
Speaker 1: seven minutes ago because he told me he wasn't going
Speaker 1: to put the key where I told him to put
Speaker 1: the key, and I called him all types of bitches.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, I'm crazy, but I meant it.
Speaker 1: I was gonna beat his ass, but I realized, like
Speaker 1: it should not take zero to five to make me
Speaker 1: turn into a different person. So I just you know,
Speaker 1: the evolution of like choosing who you are and then
Speaker 1: like committing to that person and then actively being like,
Speaker 1: that's not kind of me. Do better, try better, and
Speaker 1: like just self reflecting. I always do it like in
Speaker 1: my head, and I'm like, only people could hear the
Speaker 1: inside my inside thoughts. But I'm like, why don't I
Speaker 1: have patience for this conversation? Why am I not listening?
Speaker 1: Does someone not listen to you as a child? This
Speaker 1: is how I think? And I'm like, listen and I
Speaker 1: try to focus again. But I think that is I'm
Speaker 1: enjoying not picking myself apart, but seeing like where there's
Speaker 1: cracks or where I could do better or evolve better.
Speaker 1: And I don't think everybody does that. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's easy to do.
Speaker 3: It's definitely not easy to do. It's challenging.
Speaker 4: Especially it's even more challenging to create new habits. And
Speaker 4: I've been recently listening to atomic Habits. It's this world
Speaker 4: renowned book or whatever, and I'm listening to an on
Speaker 4: Audible on top of listening to our own book.
Speaker 3: Have you listened to our book yet? I've been listening
Speaker 3: to our book on Audible and.
Speaker 4: It's it's like kind of weird to hear even't know
Speaker 4: we hear ourselves on the podcast. We don't, but we're
Speaker 4: more like it's more this like casual bantering, not like
Speaker 4: reading from something. But I've been I kind of I've
Speaker 4: been enjoying it and it's been good. And then I like,
Speaker 4: I haven't checked like the reviews, and I was like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, people like wrote nice things about Oh.
Speaker 3: On audible there's different view.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I look on Amazon sometimes, but other than that,
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on in the world. But
Speaker 1: I do want to listen to it. I hate hearing
Speaker 1: my voice, so I have been avoiding it. But huh,
Speaker 1: I guess I should do that.
Speaker 4: But you know, I think one thing that I learned about,
Speaker 4: one thing that stuck with me while I've started reading
Speaker 4: this book, is that creating well habits really habits really
Speaker 4: define how we look at ourselves. Like the habits that
Speaker 4: we have really define how we view ourselves. So if
Speaker 4: we have bad habits, then we have negative self. Yeah,
Speaker 4: we have a negative view on certain things, like for example,
Speaker 4: if like I choose to you know, I have are
Speaker 4: I eat donuts every single day and I feel like shit,
Speaker 4: and I've gained weight or whatever the case may be.
Speaker 3: I look at myself negatively in that way.
Speaker 4: So creating new habits can drastically obviously change your life,
Speaker 4: but they have to be simple. And I think, he said,
Speaker 4: I think wrote it down. He said, Oh, it's a
Speaker 4: habit loop. You have to there's a queue, there's a
Speaker 4: craving a response, and then a reward.
Speaker 1: A que a craving a response, and then overward a
Speaker 1: Q craving a response and then a reward. Okay, And
Speaker 1: that's how habits are created, because the Q and the
Speaker 1: reward it's almost like it basically like one day I leave,
Speaker 1: say I leave the studio today and I walk by
Speaker 1: a donut shop because as you can tell, I love donuts,
Speaker 1: as you can tell, and then I maybe I don't
Speaker 1: go in there at all, and then one day I
Speaker 1: decide to go in there, and then I eat it
Speaker 1: and I'm like, damn, that shit was fucking good.
Speaker 4: And then the response is, damn, I should just fucking go. Well,
Speaker 4: the reward is also that it's good and it made
Speaker 4: my day for that moment. Now, every time that I
Speaker 4: I'm creating a habit. So when I walk to my
Speaker 4: car past that donut shop, I create a habit of like, oh,
Speaker 4: this is my thing. Like even in the morning when
Speaker 4: you you have a habit of I have a habit
Speaker 4: of drinking coffee, Like that is my ritual.
Speaker 3: That is my habit.
Speaker 4: If I don't do that, like for some reason, it
Speaker 4: feels like my day is off a little bit. So
Speaker 4: it's and the reward is is that I get to
Speaker 4: drink the coffee. I like the way it tastes, and
Speaker 4: I get a boost of energy, or so I think
Speaker 4: so in my mind.
Speaker 1: But then that's the thing. Like who determines whether it's
Speaker 1: a like for instance, like say you did eat a
Speaker 1: donut every day, and then the reward is that it
Speaker 1: tastes good, and you know in that moment you felt good,
Speaker 1: but like you're gonna be.
Speaker 3: Like I ate all those fucking donuts blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: So like who what determines whether the queue and the
Speaker 1: reward are worth like following into that habit, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, or like making like correlating eating donuts
Speaker 1: which the reward feels good and then later maybe being
Speaker 1: a negative self talk, you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: because that's the thing about perception too, because like if
Speaker 1: you didn't have these other feelings about what like donuts.
Speaker 3: Are true sugary or they have too.
Speaker 1: Many calories, if you're like, God, I fucking love these
Speaker 1: donuts and it makes me happy every day, like coffee does.
Speaker 1: Your relationship with coffee is that it gives me energy
Speaker 1: and it doesn't feel like you're doing anything wrong. But
Speaker 1: if you in your mind, you've decided that you love
Speaker 1: donuts and they taste good, but you don't like how
Speaker 1: they make your you know, they make your body feel
Speaker 1: right in the instant gratification, but tomorrow you're gonna be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't feel good. So it's like what dictates our
Speaker 1: perception of the thing. Because I've even heard that about
Speaker 1: like people who diet, and it's like, sometimes it's not
Speaker 1: about the diet, it's about the energy around the food,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like if I don't feel
Speaker 1: guilty eating the snakers every day and then I'm not
Speaker 1: going to gain weight from it. But if I feel
Speaker 1: guilt about like the energetic relationship between me picking up
Speaker 1: the thing and eating it, if it's like somewhere I
Speaker 1: feel negatively about it, then it is going to make
Speaker 1: me have those negative outcomes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think it is.
Speaker 4: Well, it's your own perception of how it makes you
Speaker 4: feel afterwards. But I think even like okay for example too,
Speaker 4: like say I was sad that day and I decided
Speaker 4: to have a donut and then it made me good.
Speaker 4: It made me feel good, like that becomes you start
Speaker 4: to build that habit of Okay, when I feel sad,
Speaker 4: I want something sweet to make me feel better. Same
Speaker 4: with weed or same with alcohol. You know, like whenever
Speaker 4: you have a stressful day, your go to is I
Speaker 4: need to fucking drink that is my and you create
Speaker 4: that habit because that's the reward.
Speaker 3: The reward, I was some shit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so when I was I'm still I'm still very
Speaker 4: early on in the books.
Speaker 3: I don't have all the answers at all.
Speaker 4: But he said that to create new habits, you have
Speaker 4: to make it obvious, you have to make it attractive,
Speaker 4: make it easy, and make it satisfying. So you know,
Speaker 4: I've been thinking about just like some of the some
Speaker 4: of the habits that I want to create in my life,
Speaker 4: Like things that i've struggled with, which is like just
Speaker 4: certain routines that I know make me feel better long
Speaker 4: long term, but there's a reason why I cannot maintain
Speaker 4: them and they haven't become a habit, you know, So
Speaker 4: what is the missing piece? Is it because they're not easy?
Speaker 4: Is it because your perception of the it's not obvious?
Speaker 3: Like I don't know, you.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, I need to. I'm definitely one who goes
Speaker 1: with what feels good and so, like I do have
Speaker 1: a problem like being in routine, and it's taken me
Speaker 1: like thirty years to make my bed every day, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean.
Speaker 4: But now I mean even for me, like I didn't
Speaker 4: always make my bed either, but I know when I
Speaker 4: make my bed because it takes such a short amount
Speaker 4: of time, it literally makes me feel like I've done
Speaker 4: one thing on my list that has made me feel
Speaker 4: good today. It made me feel like a responsible adult,
Speaker 4: and that I know when I come back to that room,
Speaker 4: whether everything else on the is a fucking mess on
Speaker 4: the floor, at least the bed is made.
Speaker 3: No for sure.
Speaker 1: And you know, my therapist told me, I don't know
Speaker 1: if it was Eve. I don't know if it was
Speaker 1: a therapist. Before that but like a long time ago,
Speaker 1: I was like, I have no discipline.
Speaker 3: I have problems.
Speaker 1: She was like, start with this making your bed every day,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this seems dumb, but like somewhere
Speaker 1: along the way, I just started to do it because
Speaker 1: I say, I like the way it feels when I
Speaker 1: come back into my house. But yeah, like just even
Speaker 1: the routine, like just being even in routine of self reflection,
Speaker 1: being in routine of being conscious of your feelings and
Speaker 1: evaluating them. Like it's really just like having the conscious
Speaker 1: thought to like observe your feelings without judging them and
Speaker 1: then name them, you know, how am I feeling? And
Speaker 1: then like what do I need in this moment and
Speaker 1: then like asking for that, requesting it even if it's
Speaker 1: from yourself.
Speaker 3: Right, So it's it's.
Speaker 1: Not as being thirty five and trying to go back
Speaker 1: to like emotional school.
Speaker 4: Well it's it's funny because it really again keep it simple,
Speaker 4: these age old sayings that we hear all the time,
Speaker 4: and it's fucking true. It doesn't have to be so difficult. Literally,
Speaker 4: just ask yourself a few questions and get the answer
Speaker 4: or you know. And I think society and like social
Speaker 4: media makes you feel like you have to like do
Speaker 4: all these steps and it becomes overwhelming and it doesn't
Speaker 4: have to be. You just keep it simple day by
Speaker 4: day because I'm a bitch that will try to change
Speaker 4: the world in one day and I'm like.
Speaker 3: Why is it not working? Have I failed? You know?
Speaker 3: So just a reminder to keep it simple.
Speaker 1: Also, Like one of the things that I appreciate about
Speaker 1: tantra like this this specific like lineage and like that
Speaker 1: I'm learning of authentic Tantra by Debbie word Ericsson.
Speaker 3: There's really no batter no good. There's no batter no good,
Speaker 3: and it's like.
Speaker 1: Do you and then you you know, like obviously like
Speaker 1: be compassionate, do things in love, and be like morally
Speaker 1: and ethically, but like there's no such thing as like,
Speaker 1: oh you you smoke a joint every day, that's bad.
Speaker 1: Oh you had a bad day, so you went in
Speaker 1: like too, Margarita's that's not how you deal with it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like there's no judgment as
Speaker 1: the basis, and so it kind of gives you the
Speaker 1: liberty to kind of evaluate the balance and everything and
Speaker 1: what really feels good to you.
Speaker 3: So like I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: I think sometimes with like religions or certain practices, it's
Speaker 1: like this is bad, this is good, But when it
Speaker 1: leaves the ball in your court to like decide what
Speaker 1: feels good for you, like maybe for some people it's
Speaker 1: like partying on Friday and Saturday and resting on Sunday
Speaker 1: and Monday, whatever the fuck. But like when it's left
Speaker 1: to you, then you don't like. Then you don't start
Speaker 1: to adapt adopt habits and that you actually like, and
Speaker 1: then have negative cognitive I always say this word, and
Speaker 1: I don't even know how connotation yeah with them, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Because it's like maybe like doughnuts
Speaker 1: aren't that bad, but someone told you they're bad, so
Speaker 1: now you're feeling guilty about it. Or like you had
Speaker 1: a one night stand and like somebody told you that
Speaker 1: was bad, so now you're feeling guilty about it when
Speaker 1: initially you actually like it was great and you did fine.
Speaker 1: Not you did fine, but it was great and you
Speaker 1: enjoyed it. So I think it's like a lot of
Speaker 1: it isn't like the liberty to self reflect and be
Speaker 1: in tune with your truly your own feelings and not
Speaker 1: the like feelings of the outside world or the opinions
Speaker 1: of your friends or your homies, or your family, or
Speaker 1: your religion or you know, all the things that were
Speaker 1: like kind of molded into believing.
Speaker 3: It's like, hey, think independently.
Speaker 4: I have your own thoughts, I mean, and that can
Speaker 4: feel challenging when you are plugged in all the time,
Speaker 4: and like we are in society just plugged in.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: And so micro dosing weed, those all are a few
Speaker 4: different things that have helped me do that. Moaning, moaning,
Speaker 4: and I also get like questions. We've gotten questions about.
Speaker 3: Where do you get mushrooms? Like how do I get them?
Speaker 4: I was looking on to scort today someone was like,
Speaker 4: does anyone know where I can get mushrooms?
Speaker 3: I think we should started.
Speaker 1: I think we should started on micro dos in Houston.
Speaker 3: I have a few people that I know, people that
Speaker 3: ship to.
Speaker 1: This is me being we're done with that we're making.
Speaker 1: I was going to, well, I need people need it now, bitch,
Speaker 1: wait three six five, But I just I think, but
Speaker 1: if you're interested in I think even the mushrooms that
Speaker 1: I've been taking lately, there are chocolates and I just
Speaker 1: leave them in my.
Speaker 4: Bathroom so after I or before I brush my teeth.
Speaker 4: I've been just taking half a bite in the chocolate.
Speaker 4: But if you're interested, I'll put I'll put a few
Speaker 4: people or a few links on our Patreon. So if
Speaker 4: you're interested in uh checking out some brands that could
Speaker 4: potentially shift to your city, make sure you go to
Speaker 4: our Patreon. I'll add them there. That's patreon dot com backslash,
Speaker 4: Good Mom's Bad Choices for your local drug.
Speaker 1: Dealer, like you know, honestly, to be very completely honest,
Speaker 1: we put a lot of stuff on Patreon that we're
Speaker 1: not going to stay in the podcast. For instance, how
Speaker 1: to smuggle weed in nature's pocket, where to get mushrooms?
Speaker 1: Who makes this outfit that I'm wearing right now, who's
Speaker 1: pissing me off today? Pretty much all of that's on
Speaker 1: Patreon exclusive content drugs, how to transport them?
Speaker 3: And who's pissing us off? Yep?
Speaker 1: And the outfit of the day, oh oh ft is
Speaker 1: obviously o ft oh.
Speaker 3: Speaking of outfits, this is my outfit of the day.
Speaker 3: Do a drip check? Drip drip check? Did I tell you? Luna?
Speaker 1: Luna came downstairs and like all like high heels and
Speaker 1: like a vinchage soul sat and she was like, look
Speaker 1: at my drip I was like.
Speaker 3: Who the fuck are you.
Speaker 4: Shout out to earn your leisure AKA for shod who
Speaker 4: does the drip checks. And you know, me and Mela
Speaker 4: be laughing because some of his drip checks be hilarious.
Speaker 4: But he'd be dripping and he'd be dripping all over
Speaker 4: the world, so I can't even be hating on him.
Speaker 1: High class dripping, honey luxury.
Speaker 3: This drip check is brought to you by Revolve. They're
Speaker 3: not paying me. I bought this on Revolve when late
Speaker 3: one night at one am, You've got a lot of
Speaker 3: outfits at one am.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's my time. That's my time to shop. This
Speaker 4: was on pre or. It took about four months for
Speaker 4: me to receive. I'm glad it finally came in the summer.
Speaker 4: I can get ordered it in the winter extent so
Speaker 4: it has a matching skirt. If you're on our YouTube channel,
Speaker 4: you can check it out.
Speaker 1: Cute, it's very it's giving me very early two thousands nineties.
Speaker 3: I like it.
Speaker 4: And then I got my my proud of boots hey,
Speaker 4: and I'm my tucked in Nike socks, and then.
Speaker 3: I have these earrings.
Speaker 4: This is a woman owned Mama owned jewelry designer. You
Speaker 4: can check them out on Instagram. They're really cute. Can
Speaker 4: we get a close up?
Speaker 3: There?
Speaker 4: You go see these ear rings? Yes, these earrings are
Speaker 4: by the Jewelry album. She's based in New York City.
Speaker 4: She's a mom and they're cute.
Speaker 3: That's my drip check. What about you, boo?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm wearing teeny tiny pink vintage soul's dress. I
Speaker 1: think this is called No, this is I don't know
Speaker 1: the name of this dress. This might be the Mela dress.
Speaker 1: I might be lying.
Speaker 3: No, it's called something else, because I have that dress too.
Speaker 3: It's not the Meala dress.
Speaker 4: No, I would have remembered because I bought it, and
Speaker 4: I would have been, like, I about the Meala dress.
Speaker 3: I think, is it maybe in pink? It's called the
Speaker 3: Meala dress. Now I have the other color.
Speaker 1: Well, there's a little slit and I even like put
Speaker 1: a little bit of like, I like tucked it here
Speaker 1: because I like it even literally little italy.
Speaker 3: You're right, I'm not. I'm malfunctioning again. Her malfunctions malfunctioning
Speaker 3: cognitive Correspondently.
Speaker 1: Listen, bitches, when you talk all day, every day, every week,
Speaker 1: you lose functioning, you lose function power. Literally, my mobile
Speaker 1: skills are being lost every day.
Speaker 3: That's true. No.
Speaker 1: Adventured Souls is my best friend Danielle owns it. It's
Speaker 1: made right here in La and it's a lot of
Speaker 1: the outfits would be learned, so check them out. We
Speaker 1: might even have a discount code. I'll put it on
Speaker 1: Patreon because it is pretty high end.
Speaker 3: It's really high end. She'd be in like Fred Siegel
Speaker 3: and she no, she'd be in Free People and seagull. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 3: all my friends do CoA stiff. Can you pass our
Speaker 3: torch lighter? Please our fireplace lighter.
Speaker 1: Moms need to have things that are large enough to
Speaker 1: find meanless. I also might barbecue after this, so just
Speaker 1: chill out.
Speaker 3: Please light my vanilla backwood.
Speaker 1: No problem, baby, I'll backwood you at back me up,
Speaker 1: back back back into the with the back backwoods in
Speaker 1: the studio.
Speaker 3: With us.
Speaker 1: Speaking of like choosing happiness and attitudes and like stress levels.
Speaker 1: You know, recently, this last three months has been a
Speaker 1: rather rough three months for me. I've been doing a
Speaker 1: lot of shit. But because we're always moving, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a good or bad thing
Speaker 1: that I'm always moving because it gives me less time
Speaker 1: to process when I'm super stressed. But me and Orlando
Speaker 1: moved like two months ago, but we didn't have a place,
Speaker 1: so we moved to storage, which is already stressful. So
Speaker 1: I've been living out of a suitcase for like eight
Speaker 1: weeks and.
Speaker 2: Then like lived in the storage unit, moved to storage
Speaker 2: to storage.
Speaker 1: Shit, I could have it that asteroid, but it oh
Speaker 1: wait heavy, it was.
Speaker 3: It was so stressful.
Speaker 1: I mean like I stayed by Erica, I stayed by friends,
Speaker 1: I was staying with my mom, and then she kicked
Speaker 1: us out like one regular Thursday afternoon at three pm
Speaker 1: for no reason.
Speaker 3: And then I was like, wow, I have.
Speaker 1: No family, family support. And then we were like traveling
Speaker 1: a lot. So I was like kind of like suppressing
Speaker 1: the fact that I was like intermediate housing intermitsure. I
Speaker 1: was homelessing, holmelessing, and I was so fucking stressed, Like
Speaker 1: I couldn't like I was happy about things, but I
Speaker 1: couldn't be in like my full tense spot because then
Speaker 1: afterwards I'd be like, oh no, like what am I
Speaker 1: going to do after this?
Speaker 3: Go to a hotel.
Speaker 1: So finally we found an apartment and like it wasn't
Speaker 1: like the number one one that I wanted. So I
Speaker 1: was having a bad attitude because I didn't like the carpets.
Speaker 1: I called Erica, I'm like, I hate it.
Speaker 3: I have Oh, I have a steamer. I have a
Speaker 3: carpet steamer. If you'd like, no, thank you, I just
Speaker 3: bought one. You got a stop shopping at when I am.
Speaker 3: You don't even have anything on Amazon. It was Amazon
Speaker 3: Prime Day. I couldn't, Erica, you don't even have any carpet.
Speaker 3: I do have carpets in my living room in the
Speaker 3: area rugs, one area dirty, they need to be cleaned,
Speaker 3: and my couch.
Speaker 1: Erica bought a marpet steamer, and she has one area
Speaker 1: a carpet and.
Speaker 4: A couch one and it steams and it cleans. And
Speaker 4: you'll thank me later when your fucking carpets need cleaning.
Speaker 3: Okay. Lando's over there nodding because he's gonna come to mind.
Speaker 1: I already try to figure out how to pull them
Speaker 1: up and replace them on duy, even though I want
Speaker 1: to be a die diy, I was thinking that she
Speaker 1: literally i've seen her do that specific thing on stairs.
Speaker 3: Oh that's intense. Yeah, I know, but I'm trying to let.
Speaker 4: This there's you know what, I know that, Like, I
Speaker 4: think there became a time in history when which we
Speaker 4: as a people decide we don't like carpets inside of housing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, COVID No, it was before that was before that.
Speaker 4: Although like I don't agree with carpets. Like I remember
Speaker 4: when I was looking to move, there was this place
Speaker 4: that I went to and it was carpeted throughout the
Speaker 4: whole house, including the bathroom. Shut out, bitch, the bathroom
Speaker 4: was carpeted.
Speaker 1: That's that's not even legal. And I was like, that's discussed.
Speaker 3: That's not legal.
Speaker 1: It's mold that could create mold.
Speaker 3: It was in there. It was in there. It was like.
Speaker 4: It was in there, and so I get it. But
Speaker 4: I also there is I like getting out of my
Speaker 4: bed and I have a little mini carpet because I
Speaker 4: have carpets in my house. You have ate car have
Speaker 4: carpet cut up rugs, but there's one right below my
Speaker 4: bed and I like getting out of my bed and
Speaker 4: not being on like cold floor.
Speaker 3: So if do you keep just you have a rule.
Speaker 4: To not have shoes on in the bedroom and to
Speaker 4: not have shoes in certain parts of your house.
Speaker 3: I think it can actually be really nice. It's not nice,
Speaker 3: but tell me to be nice to you today. Okay, no, no, no.
Speaker 3: The point is we can be trying to be nice
Speaker 3: in a courage.
Speaker 1: The moral of the story is Orlando was so happy
Speaker 1: to get our keys and he's like, baby, we're moving.
Speaker 1: It's our first place together.
Speaker 3: And I was like, not good enough.
Speaker 1: He's like, so you want to go stay by your
Speaker 1: friend again, or you want to I'm like, okay, never mind.
Speaker 3: I love this I love this house.
Speaker 1: I just realized, like, you fucking bitch, E've been stressed
Speaker 1: out of your mind for fucking eight weeks about not
Speaker 1: having a roof over your head, which is pretty fucking serious,
Speaker 1: and here you are, this bitch is giving you keys
Speaker 1: and you can't. I was literally fighting with the lady.
Speaker 1: I was like, you clean this carpet.
Speaker 3: She's like yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like I don't think so. Orlando is just
Speaker 1: standing there like shut the fuck up.
Speaker 3: I was like, what is this for.
Speaker 1: I picked up like a reptile skin. She's like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's tape.
Speaker 3: I said, this is not tape, not reptile skin.
Speaker 1: It was reptile skin.
Speaker 3: I said.
Speaker 1: The last tenant must have had a snake or lizard.
Speaker 1: She said, no, no, no, that's that's tape. An I
Speaker 1: swear to god I picked it up. I said, I said,
Speaker 1: so you're telling me the carpet cleaner brought a snake over.
Speaker 3: I said, are you sure? Are you cleaning these carpets?
Speaker 1: I could do it again. I'll do it again. I said,
Speaker 1: I think that's necessary.
Speaker 3: Oh, so she offered to do them again.
Speaker 1: She'd have a choice, bitch. I found a snake skin
Speaker 1: on the carpet. And then she's like, it's a tape.
Speaker 1: And then I picked up another pieces like this is
Speaker 1: the tail, oh, because it goes toll like a point there.
Speaker 1: I know, I think were probably and I'm with it,
Speaker 1: but not on these carpets.
Speaker 3: It's my witchy shit.
Speaker 1: So all that to say is like, you know, you
Speaker 1: gotta be like you have to be able to have
Speaker 1: the gratitude for the things you ask for when they come,
Speaker 1: even if they don't have all wood floors and knew.
Speaker 3: Stoves.
Speaker 1: So I just was like I had to take a
Speaker 1: moment and I realized, like, wow, I'm just ruining this moment.
Speaker 1: After we've struggled for eight weeks together, I can't just
Speaker 1: be happy. I have to complain, and I was like,
Speaker 1: what is that? Like, why am I actually like my mother?
Speaker 1: Why am I so attached to the feeling of like
Speaker 1: being unsettled. And then I started to be like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm gonna be able to like this rent
Speaker 1: is so high, like if I lived in Mexico, Escape escape, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like just like wanting to just find a reason to
Speaker 1: feel uneasy. And I'm like, that's so nuts. And you know,
Speaker 1: finally it got dark time and I couldn't really see
Speaker 1: those carpets, and I was like, you know what, I
Speaker 1: do like the apartment.
Speaker 3: It is cute. It is better than the last one.
Speaker 1: It is it is, and I'm grateful because I have a.
Speaker 3: Place to go.
Speaker 1: But you know, it's just like it's constantly this rat race,
Speaker 1: and so if you're not careful, you will get the
Speaker 1: things that you're chasing after and not even realize that
Speaker 1: you have them because you're so stuck in the mentality
Speaker 1: of being not safe or like in a frantic or
Speaker 1: in a panic. And I just had to take a
Speaker 1: moment and just be like, bitch, or they.
Speaker 4: Don't show up exactly how you envision them in your mind.
Speaker 4: You have to really not have expectation of the outcome
Speaker 4: you almost which is difficult because when you manifest, you're
Speaker 4: asked to be very specific about what you want, but
Speaker 4: then also also being flexible and open enough to also
Speaker 4: allow what comes to be also allowed that to be
Speaker 4: enough in the answer to your manifestation, even though it's
Speaker 4: not exactly what you want.
Speaker 1: Well, the thing is like the gratitude and like you know,
Speaker 1: we talk about manifesting all the time, and we manifest
Speaker 1: a lot of shit where some pretty powerful bitches, and
Speaker 1: then something's missed, some things don't come exactly how we
Speaker 1: ask like, and then we have to also accept that
Speaker 1: we are witches. But bitch, sometimes it's you. But it's
Speaker 1: like God has the final say.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I mean, like even with like us getting like best
Speaker 1: seller the first week and like that was gonna be
Speaker 1: manifested for like two years, and like I was, like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck, God, you trip it? Like I know
Speaker 1: you got my emails, but like not to say that
Speaker 1: won't happen, you know, and like we we found out
Speaker 1: that it can happen after first week, and it will,
Speaker 1: but just it's like being okay with like knowing that
Speaker 1: it can come in different forms and to be also
Speaker 1: ingratitude when those times come, you know.
Speaker 3: And it's just like.
Speaker 1: I think there was a lot of ego attached to
Speaker 1: it too, because I feel like, oh, I'm a woman
Speaker 1: of a certain age making myself so sold where you.
Speaker 3: Are of a certain age. Everyone't google how old is
Speaker 3: right now, it's all over my Instagram. I don't like.
Speaker 3: And you know, I want what I want and I.
Speaker 1: Deserve this blah blah blah, and I do.
Speaker 3: But also, bitch, you agree grateful.
Speaker 1: That you know you got ninety percent of the things
Speaker 1: that you asked for minus is hideous carpet and it's fine.
Speaker 4: Well, it's also like you get what you're ready to receive,
Speaker 4: and you know there's things that happened before, like when
Speaker 4: we're asking for things to be called in Like I
Speaker 4: feel like you have to also be self aware.
Speaker 3: Of like how do I say this without offending the
Speaker 3: people listening? And you good luck when you ask for things.
Speaker 4: And but also you're actively participating in not there's an
Speaker 4: active participation in maybe like having limited beliefs around what
Speaker 4: you deserve. You're not gonna get everything that you ask for.
Speaker 4: It's when you finally release those limiting beliefs that really
Speaker 4: not that the manifestation, This was the manifestation you asked for,
Speaker 4: but like it becomes even bigger, and you know, like
Speaker 4: when you when you remove your limiting beliefs around safety, home,
Speaker 4: not wanting to adult because you're like I don't want
Speaker 4: to be an adult, and you know a lot being
Speaker 4: responsible for your safety and just having like I guess,
Speaker 4: just full autonomy and responsibility around what you're asking for
Speaker 4: and the things and the steps that you're taking. And
Speaker 4: I'm not obviously we take a lot of steps where
Speaker 4: we work really hard, and I'm just saying that the
Speaker 4: manifestation will always show up how it should based on
Speaker 4: the energy put into that situation. And if you have
Speaker 4: limiting beliefs around your safety and what you deserve and
Speaker 4: like feeling settled, you might always go to a place
Speaker 4: that maybe is like home but not quite home for you.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, I completely agree. I completely agree
Speaker 3: because I realize in.
Speaker 1: This this last three months to this this you know,
Speaker 1: like with life already being hard and like requiring a
Speaker 1: lot of me putting myself in this even more like
Speaker 1: stressful situation and then finally getting out of it and
Speaker 1: still like immediately my next thought was like, Okay, are
Speaker 1: we're gonna pay this rent? Is run is super high,
Speaker 1: Like this run is high for these non for carpets.
Speaker 3: You know, that was my thought, But.
Speaker 1: It was to it was to worry and stress that
Speaker 1: I couldn't before it was Oh, this is this is
Speaker 1: this is a year. Fuck it, this is a year,
Speaker 1: and I'll be in somewhere else next because fuck it,
Speaker 1: let's just take this. We can afford it, Like instead
Speaker 1: of just immediately just be like, oh we got this,
Speaker 1: I have a partner, Like I'm just immediately into panic mode.
Speaker 1: So it has everything to do with like scarcity mindset
Speaker 1: and and just yeah, like getting outside of your own way,
Speaker 1: my own way about my relationship with money and my
Speaker 1: safety and that like someone's gonna come save me. It's
Speaker 1: only me, you know what I mean. So no, I
Speaker 1: just realized that, and I'm like, damn, you know I do.
Speaker 1: We have all these conversations and there's still so much
Speaker 1: more work I could be doing.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 4: I mean that's the whole point. That's the whole point
Speaker 4: is us talking through things. I mean, this is why
Speaker 4: that this podcast has been so I think powerful for
Speaker 4: both of us.
Speaker 3: Is like us doing.
Speaker 4: Function and then having stay accountable for it, because then
Speaker 4: we look up a year later and like there's certain
Speaker 4: things that we're still discussing and it's like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 4: still I still got work to do in that in
Speaker 4: that space, in that place for me, like you know,
Speaker 4: my thing is about like to enter speech and energy,
Speaker 4: like I'm going to be a peaceful warrior now. I
Speaker 4: promise I will not be a bitch and my facial
Speaker 4: expressions will no longer make people feel like I'm mad
Speaker 4: at them. And it's it's definitely like it's an inner
Speaker 4: it's a thing for me of like I don't resentment
Speaker 4: and what feeling people like are going to disappoint me
Speaker 4: or like I'm always over I'm always giving so much
Speaker 4: and not getting what I deserve in return, and like
Speaker 4: I think that is the root of that for me,
Speaker 4: you know, And it's an ongoing shit because recently I've
Speaker 4: had I had that come up for me and I
Speaker 4: was like raging, and I was like, damn, I have
Speaker 4: not resolved this. Like I was like having to. I
Speaker 4: literally felt my body like I was like I needed
Speaker 4: to like be violent almost, and I was like I
Speaker 4: don't ever want to ever feel like I am out
Speaker 4: of control of like my disappointment or how I feel
Speaker 4: or what someone says to me, and it is just yeah,
Speaker 4: it's a I'm still trying to birth this new version
Speaker 4: of myself. And I don't know if you ever fully
Speaker 4: just birth a new version of yourself.
Speaker 3: It's an always birthing. Yeah, it's a forever labor.
Speaker 4: It's like you're pregnant for you almost might give birth
Speaker 4: a lot of times, and then you do, and then
Speaker 4: you still got a nurture and that that baby.
Speaker 1: I've been in labor for ten years.
Speaker 3: It's rough.
Speaker 1: There's some there's some definitely some more gasmic parts, but no,
Speaker 1: it's it's yeah and then yeah. And then even even
Speaker 1: because we talk so much and we're talking about, you know,
Speaker 1: our personal lives so much, there's even like a judgment
Speaker 1: of myself, you know, because like like in certain ways
Speaker 1: it could appear that certain things are completely together. And
Speaker 1: like even while I was going through this, I never
Speaker 1: I didn't say I'd never come on the fucking podcast.
Speaker 3: One day, I was like, well, you.
Speaker 1: Know, a bitch is fucked up because I moved on
Speaker 1: my shinto storage and I don't know where I'm going yet,
Speaker 1: you know, but like I can, like because there's insecurity
Speaker 1: around that, and like, oh, I should have worked in
Speaker 1: my credit for the last fucking five years.
Speaker 3: Bitch, you're an adult.
Speaker 1: But I put it off, and I put it off,
Speaker 1: and I put off until I'm in a fucked up situation.
Speaker 1: And that's about totally about my my wounds with growing
Speaker 1: up and like taking responsibility and feeling like I don't
Speaker 1: have a safety net or I don't like, oh, like
Speaker 1: you know, like a support system as far as like
Speaker 1: certain things. But at what point is it that you're
Speaker 1: like that's my responsibility?
Speaker 3: Is only me?
Speaker 1: I am my own responsibility, and like these are the
Speaker 1: things I have to, you know, and I'm hella powerful.
Speaker 3: So why do I take on this this energy of
Speaker 3: that I can't?
Speaker 4: But you do every time, And I think, like this
Speaker 4: is an invitation, especially you've just moved in, You've already
Speaker 4: had your trauma response, which was I hate it. There's
Speaker 4: fucking skeletons and fucking snake skin Orlando with you know, Okay,
Speaker 4: you did it, and now what are you gonna do
Speaker 4: about it? Like, now this is the opportunity for you
Speaker 4: to like kind of start I guess removing your that
Speaker 4: mindset and really making your place beautiful, and like putting
Speaker 4: all the motherfucking plants you.
Speaker 3: Want, Okay, hopefully they all live, all my plants, always.
Speaker 4: Putting all the plants, like making like you know, that
Speaker 4: top little loft like your little sanctuary, and and like
Speaker 4: keeping your space how you want to feel and how
Speaker 4: you want to feel about your home life, you know,
Speaker 4: because it's important. And I think that I think that
Speaker 4: is really important to you because you do. You're a
Speaker 4: maker of beauty. You make things beautiful. That's your gift,
Speaker 4: and make that use that gift in your home to
Speaker 4: help heal. That is what I feel like I'm being
Speaker 4: told to tell.
Speaker 3: You thank you.
Speaker 4: So I think I'm excited for you. I'm excited to
Speaker 4: bring my housewarming gift to you. I don't know what
Speaker 4: it is. It's going to smell good or feel good.
Speaker 1: Well, that's something cancers really care about their home space,
Speaker 1: and they really care about like safety and comfort. And
Speaker 1: I realized that like putting myself in a space where
Speaker 1: i'm some like where that's at liberty is like not
Speaker 1: not not great for my mental health, but all so
Speaker 1: that like, yeah, I could move into anywhere and make
Speaker 1: a beautiful light.
Speaker 3: And it's something I enjoyed to do.
Speaker 1: I've been on Pinterest for like twelve hours and it's
Speaker 1: like it's fun for me. And I do like my
Speaker 1: place and I'm happy. I'm grateful to have a place.
Speaker 1: My daughter has a room.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, you should get used the Etsy wallpaper place. Sorry,
Speaker 4: I just had a vision for your house. The ceilings
Speaker 4: are too high for ballpaper. But yeah, what a problem.
Speaker 4: My ceilings are so high.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: I live in Studio City and my ceilings are high,
Speaker 4: and my ceilings are too high. But I can't cop it,
Speaker 4: so I hate it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I can't put my pole up because this ceiling.
Speaker 3: Let that go.
Speaker 4: Just go take pole dancing classes. I want to do
Speaker 4: my living room. You will, like Sammy on the internet. Well,
Speaker 4: I really admire your ability to not let stress over.
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know if it's really if it's
Speaker 4: a good thing or a bad thing, but you manage
Speaker 4: stress way better than.
Speaker 3: I managed dress. You really do.
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know if you're cursing other people
Speaker 4: out in the background or something. Maybe Orlando, I'm sorry
Speaker 4: you okay, But either way I would be a wreck
Speaker 4: in all spaces and places, not just with my neck.
Speaker 3: So I admired that about you. Thank you, you handled
Speaker 3: it like a boss. Congratulations. I try not to.
Speaker 1: I try not to melt downs because I don't think
Speaker 1: that's gonna help the shit. So I am at ease
Speaker 1: and I'm very grateful, and I'm even more grateful for
Speaker 1: the lessons too, you know, like.
Speaker 3: Shit is rough.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm not exempt, I'm not perfect and then but
Speaker 1: problems and obstacles are never permanent and I know that,
Speaker 1: and like, I think it's also been a trigger for
Speaker 1: me because like three years ago, I was moving out
Speaker 1: of the place with Luna and I was supposed to
Speaker 1: supposed to be temporary and end up I was staying
Speaker 1: with someone for like over a year and that was
Speaker 1: super challenging for me, and I didn't like share a
Speaker 1: lot about it because I felt embarrassed, you know, like
Speaker 1: even for you know, with my you know, daughter, even
Speaker 1: as a single mom. But I think being in this
Speaker 1: space two years later, three years later, I had to evaluate,
Speaker 1: Like I think it was a trigger, but also I
Speaker 1: had to evaluate, like, well, bitch, why haven't you worked
Speaker 1: in your card in this whole three years when you
Speaker 1: know the situation, you're not in the same situation, you're
Speaker 1: not the same person, and just accepting where there's where
Speaker 1: there has been growth, and also where there needs to
Speaker 1: be more pouring of fucking energy and that's okay, you know.
Speaker 1: And it's just trying to stay calm, not panic, even
Speaker 1: though I.
Speaker 3: Was very close to the edge, very very close.
Speaker 1: But you know, overall, if anyone's listening and they're struggling
Speaker 1: in any area, like you know, everybody's struggling in ways.
Speaker 1: Shit is hard out here, like adulthood is hard, like
Speaker 1: being a parent is fucking hard, and just living is difficult,
Speaker 1: you know, and providing and you're not alone and whatever,
Speaker 1: even if it's an obstacle now, it won't be an
Speaker 1: obstacle forever. And just you know, diligently keep calm and
Speaker 1: know that you're safe, and then everything will eventually align itself.
Speaker 1: And it may have carpets, but it will align itself.
Speaker 4: Their magic carpets, magic carpets to the transformative snakes.
Speaker 3: They are magic carpets. I've decided.
Speaker 1: There are two balconies and two bathrooms and a loft.
Speaker 3: And jeal I wish I had two bathrooms.
Speaker 4: That would be a game changer, yeah, because, yeah, the
Speaker 4: one bathroom thing is not ideal.
Speaker 1: It's really not. You have outside shower, though, I really
Speaker 1: love that shower.
Speaker 3: I do. I do. I've had my relationship with my home.
Speaker 4: I've lived there for eight years and that's where you know,
Speaker 4: me and my child's father moved when I was pregnant.
Speaker 4: So and I'm really grateful for my space, but I
Speaker 4: go in and out of like it's not enough. I
Speaker 4: hate this, like I want to move, And then I
Speaker 4: go outside and then I'm like, my backyard's dead. I hate,
Speaker 4: and then it rains and.
Speaker 3: It's beautiful again.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I love my backyard. It's so great. And
Speaker 4: you know, I want to move too. But you know, California,
Speaker 4: rent is not a motherfucking game, y'all. If you're thinking
Speaker 4: about moving to La think twice.
Speaker 3: It's crazy.
Speaker 1: And I have friends who are like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: like I'm selling my house for one point eight, but
Speaker 1: all the houses on the market are like anything good
Speaker 1: is like two point five. And I'm like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, our lives are different. And I'm like
Speaker 1: and and we have to move out of the country.
Speaker 1: I'll never live here. I can never afford sit here.
Speaker 3: We will, but we will be able to do both.
Speaker 4: But yeah, it's but it is like I don't want
Speaker 4: to move unless I feel like I'm actually upgrading my life,
Speaker 4: and my ego will not allow it.
Speaker 3: And I'm just like, I will just stay here and
Speaker 3: do you have a great place?
Speaker 4: And so but I've had to reinvigorate my space and
Speaker 4: my place over and over again. But ultimately, I know
Speaker 4: when I come home that one thing that I that
Speaker 4: makes me feel good about my space is that I
Speaker 4: know there's a certain way it has to.
Speaker 3: Be in order of me for me to feel really
Speaker 3: good all the time in it.
Speaker 4: And it's clean, it's clean and organized, and that's really
Speaker 4: hard with a kid, but you know, I that's that
Speaker 4: I know for sure. For people that are like I
Speaker 4: can't move, like it's just changed something. Maybe you're maybe
Speaker 4: that living room is junkie as hell, girl, clean that
Speaker 4: shit up and reimagine it. And sometimes it's just like
Speaker 4: those little changes that can change your perspective on your situation,
Speaker 4: like reimagining the situation. You might not be able to
Speaker 4: change your situation at this very moment, and and a
Speaker 4: lot of us can't. And so I think just really
Speaker 4: taking the time to think about how you can change
Speaker 4: your mindset around it, how you can change the actual
Speaker 4: what it looks like around you is a fucking hack,
Speaker 4: because that's the only reason I'm a bit okay, and
Speaker 4: not only reason, but that's what as guests has helped
Speaker 4: me be cool in my spot.
Speaker 3: Although I know I'm.
Speaker 4: Moving at the end of this year or in January,
Speaker 4: it's happening right or shine, I'm manifesting that right now,
Speaker 4: and I don't.
Speaker 3: Know it's gonna beautiful. And I might have carpets and
Speaker 3: said it might it might have carpets.
Speaker 1: And also just like this is corny as hell that
Speaker 1: like home is where the heart is it is, you know,
Speaker 1: like home is inside of you and home is you know,
Speaker 1: And that's what I was thinking, like just in this process,
Speaker 1: like I've been relatively happy, you know, and like I
Speaker 1: have such amazing friends and amazing people around me that
Speaker 1: it makes it like I can't I can't be too
Speaker 1: too upset, you know. It's just like when like Luna
Speaker 1: is pouring her love into me, and like I love
Speaker 1: you so much, mommy, and it's crazy like the things
Speaker 1: that like I'm super shows sad about like I hope
Speaker 1: she's good and thankfully, like she can go to her
Speaker 1: grandma's house and she's a room there and she comes
Speaker 1: back and you know she hasn't been like deeply at
Speaker 1: a she's it's summer. My kid is super patient with
Speaker 1: me too, Like we're we sleeping tonight and like here
Speaker 1: over here, so Auntie's house, like, okay, when are you
Speaker 1: getting place?
Speaker 3: I'm like soon, It's like.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what I mean, Like just like but
Speaker 1: just her love and her patience, Orlando's love. Like I
Speaker 1: was in this situation completely without a partner, and like.
Speaker 3: It does feel totally different.
Speaker 1: And we have been relatively happy and we're just pretending
Speaker 1: like we're taking staycations, you know, like let's just stay
Speaker 1: at the hotel, and like even though we're both deeply stressed,
Speaker 1: just together collaboratively deciding that we're gonna still be happy
Speaker 1: in it, you know, and like really just like that
Speaker 1: the love of my family and my friends really makes
Speaker 1: me feel.
Speaker 3: That, like you know, like.
Speaker 1: Warm and fuzzy inside despite feeling chaotic on the outside
Speaker 1: for obvious reasons. I just I am grateful because like
Speaker 1: I think and looking back, even when I was like
Speaker 1: didn't have a place and for like over you know,
Speaker 1: for a long time. It's just like I still looking
Speaker 1: back on the bigger scope of things, that was one
Speaker 1: year of my life, you know, like Luna may not
Speaker 1: even remember that shit. But just like, if anything happens
Speaker 1: to me tomorrow, at the end of the day, like
Speaker 1: I'm not going to care that I didn't have an
Speaker 1: apartment for eight weeks. I'm gonna be like, Oh, my
Speaker 1: kid and my boyfriend, my friends Erica, like the travels
Speaker 1: that we did, the things that I've learned, the people
Speaker 1: have been able to collaborate.
Speaker 3: With, you know.
Speaker 1: It's just like sometimes we're so stressed out because like
Speaker 1: as adults, we're supposed to have it all together. Everything's
Speaker 1: supposed to look like this, because Joe and Sam and
Speaker 1: you know, Keisho over there look like they have it
Speaker 1: all together. And it's like like at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, just having love is really all we can
Speaker 1: take with us.
Speaker 3: Amen, bitch, hallelujah.
Speaker 1: So I love you and thank you for supporting me
Speaker 1: in this time that's been very chaotic for me and
Speaker 1: like very traumatic because I think I've been in this
Speaker 1: situation before and being patient with me and you know,
Speaker 1: supportive even when I cry randomly, and just also just
Speaker 1: like not judging me, and I'm never feeling judged by
Speaker 1: you despite you know, like just having you know, just
Speaker 1: different things come up and I know, like it's we're
Speaker 1: best friends and we like every like we have lived
Speaker 1: such close, tight knit lives to each other because we
Speaker 1: work together and there's constant, constant stress and go.
Speaker 3: But like, I appreciate you and I love you. I
Speaker 3: appreciate you to thank you. I love you. I'm so
Speaker 3: happy for you. I'm proud of you.
Speaker 4: And I was gonna try and find something else beautiful
Speaker 4: to say, but I don't have anything else.
Speaker 3: You know, the feeling, the vibes, I know, they're deep.
Speaker 4: We meet Mela, I found out that I was Mela's
Speaker 4: husband in a past life, so it's true.
Speaker 3: I just love you. I love you that much. I
Speaker 3: love you like a husband that's his wife and a
Speaker 3: best friend. I would want perfect I knew it well.
Speaker 4: I'm interested to know what the cards say, honey, after
Speaker 4: today's conversation, because you know, the cards always have a message,
Speaker 4: and so it Tarot time, Tero time.
Speaker 3: I pulled shout out to mahogany Taro dye. The Night
Speaker 3: of Swords no Night of ones, oh shit sorry.
Speaker 1: Nine of Wands and the nighte of Wands means energy, passion,
Speaker 1: inspired action, adventure, impulsiveness. While the page of Wands marks
Speaker 1: the initial spark of a new idea, the Night of
Speaker 1: Wands shows the actual pursuit of that idea. When this
Speaker 1: card appears in a tarot reading, you are charged up
Speaker 1: with energy, passion, motivation, and enthusiasm, and you channel that
Speaker 1: energy through your inspired action. You have a clear vision
Speaker 1: about what you want to create, and fueled by your
Speaker 1: passion inspiration, you're now moving forward with leaps and bounds
Speaker 1: to turn your vision into reality. This card is your
Speaker 1: sign to go for it. You are bold and courageous
Speaker 1: and willing to venture into unknown territories to further your
Speaker 1: mission and your dreams. You don't really care if danger
Speaker 1: lies ahead. In fact, it does.
Speaker 3: Oh god, oh God, I love it.
Speaker 1: And it becomes all the more exciting and thrilling for you.
Speaker 1: Adventures like this light you up because you know growth
Speaker 1: and expansion are waiting on the other side. Be a
Speaker 1: pioneer and take calculated risks to reach new heights.
Speaker 3: Hmm, Okay, this is just a reminder too.
Speaker 4: I guess maybe, well we are already we already this
Speaker 4: sounds like us all the time anyway, but also.
Speaker 3: Take over the world. Fuck it, we could do it.
Speaker 4: Be honest, have continue to be bold and brave and
Speaker 4: have these honest conversations, because I think that is our gift,
Speaker 4: you know, And I think that as being able to
Speaker 4: share and intimate parts of our life, whether they're in
Speaker 4: motion or after the fact, has been really radical and
Speaker 4: I'm happy to do it, even if it causes problems
Speaker 4: in my life, even though sometimes people get mad at.
Speaker 3: Me, sometimes very Sometimes sometimes people get upset. Sometimes brands
Speaker 3: say it's too much.
Speaker 1: I mean, I listened to episode we did rather recently
Speaker 1: and I was like, God, like, what is wrong with me?
Speaker 1: I was just like nothing, talking about like the Christians.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, am I who am? I
Speaker 3: like an opinionated young black woman's like, what do they
Speaker 3: do to me? I do? I'm like, Jesus Christ, maybe
Speaker 3: I need to chill. Well, listen, that's right there.
Speaker 4: That's the honesty, you going back and saying reflecting on
Speaker 4: something that.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's like because I know other
Speaker 1: people are hearing it. I'm like I mean, but I
Speaker 1: do have to be like, huh, that seems like a
Speaker 1: very strong opinion for someone who believes in Oh, people
Speaker 1: having opinion.
Speaker 4: Usually opinionated people will have also strong opinions about other
Speaker 4: people's opinions. So that's where the growth comes.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: Continuous birthay, the continuous twenty two month birth, twenty two year.
Speaker 1: Birth, twenty two I've been birthing for twenty two years myself.
Speaker 3: I've been trying to birth patience. But twenty nine years.
Speaker 1: That's about sixty two hundred and ninety three days.
Speaker 4: The baby is forty two percent ready, I'll let you
Speaker 4: know we crossed the fifty percent old crown.
Speaker 3: And maybe we might stay there for about ten years.
Speaker 3: Oh that sounds pain such as life fish.
Speaker 1: I really just want to.
Speaker 3: Get the head out. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: Before we started this episode, I just realized we have
Speaker 1: so many conversations and layers that like, there'll be three
Speaker 1: days later I'd be like, huh, we even finished that conversation.
Speaker 1: I wonder what the end of it is.
Speaker 3: What was it?
Speaker 1: Well, that's another one I just thought of. But this
Speaker 1: is when you just told me before we started about
Speaker 1: your mom had a reading and she said, are you
Speaker 1: trying to get pregnant?
Speaker 3: Oh? Whoa really switching gears? Whoa whoa.
Speaker 1: I just remembered, Yeah, well the fact we're birthing our
Speaker 1: new selves and maybe think.
Speaker 4: About, oh yeah, well, I'm not birthing shit over here.
Speaker 4: There's no babies about to be born or conceived.
Speaker 3: Now I'm now but to take my daughter off. You're pregnant.
Speaker 3: No you want me to e now my baby.
Speaker 1: I've already I have three kids now.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 4: After this this, my daughter just increasingly gets more expensive,
Speaker 4: Like she's eight now, she's getting more expensive. I'm getting
Speaker 4: more expensive also. So there's that problem slash blessing slash problem,
Speaker 4: because there's a certain level of life that I'm trying
Speaker 4: to live on my own, and I know I can't
Speaker 4: be selfish and not bring her along in ways, and
Speaker 4: so like We're about to go to Europe for sixteen days,
Speaker 4: and I didn't book the whole trip at once, so
Speaker 4: I like I bought the flight month months and months ago.
Speaker 4: So I was like, maybe if if I break it up,
Speaker 4: it will feel so crazy, you know. And then I
Speaker 4: like booked an airbnb like two months ago, and then
Speaker 4: I booked another hotel like a week later at four
Speaker 4: am because that's when I did my shopping and then
Speaker 4: I didn't really figure out the rest of the trip.
Speaker 4: And then today we're leaving on Monday, I'm really like
Speaker 4: reflecting on, Wow, I haven't booked that other part.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, we have to spend money while we're there.
Speaker 4: Oh I want to maybe buy something nice in Italy
Speaker 4: and be fancy.
Speaker 3: How we're gonna do that? And then she's gonna want
Speaker 3: something fancy. So I was just thinking, like do I
Speaker 3: want to do this?
Speaker 4: And if I had another one, like I'd have to
Speaker 4: restart this process all over again.
Speaker 3: And I don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, I've always said I could be convince to
Speaker 4: have a baby possibly if I felt you know, I
Speaker 4: don't know. Maybe I just know. When my mom said
Speaker 4: that she had a reading and the girl was the
Speaker 4: woman was like, yeah, is she pregnant or is she
Speaker 4: trying to get pregnant? And she also that same woman
Speaker 4: told me that I was going to have another baby soon.
Speaker 4: I was I think I got that reading in November
Speaker 4: last year.
Speaker 3: So I don't know. They need to relax and leave
Speaker 3: the babies away from me. Can we plan it?
Speaker 1: Can we have a baby Back's.
Speaker 3: Baby, Sell two Babies, Who wants to see Me? And
Speaker 3: Mela Pregnant Podcast. It's a whole new era of good
Speaker 3: Mom's Bad.
Speaker 1: Choices, Good Bear, Good Mom's Better Choices, Part two. Because
Speaker 1: we're old, they were smarter. Now it could be cute,
Speaker 1: it could be cut. I think this is the part
Speaker 1: where I convince you. I mean I can't can't convince you. No, baby,
Speaker 1: Are you the one that's going to convince me? Not
Speaker 1: even not even my own man?
Speaker 3: Damn? I think you should. I think we should do it.
Speaker 3: So Mila said that we're gonna have a Now you're
Speaker 3: never going to be a single mom.
Speaker 1: I'm your baby daddy. And now we have Orlando, So you.
Speaker 4: Got to now my man that I'm with is going
Speaker 4: to be the father and we're never going to break
Speaker 4: up because we're never doing that again. I know we're
Speaker 4: not till death to us fucking part, do you hear me?
Speaker 1: Because we're doing it smarter, like we have so many
Speaker 1: people now and then like we even added Luna and
Speaker 1: I read to the equation.
Speaker 3: So okay, well we have time because let me think
Speaker 3: about it. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm on birth control. Thank God for the love of
Speaker 1: fucking Jesus about it.
Speaker 4: Let me talk it through with my partner because he
Speaker 4: doesn't know if he wants to have kids either, so
Speaker 4: we're both kind.
Speaker 3: Of on the fence. It's not like a necessity.
Speaker 1: I'll check back in like January.
Speaker 4: But he might be convinced if he thought, like I
Speaker 4: was going to become like super balling bawling balling from birth.
Speaker 1: We can, I mean, we can do a strategy plan now.
Speaker 3: Falling from birth. Those bitches got balling after birth? Are
Speaker 3: you pregnant? That's the storyline I wanted.
Speaker 4: Those bitches got so much they got they were bawling
Speaker 4: out after birth.
Speaker 3: Yes, I was.
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, this my life is much better now
Speaker 1: that I'm a mom. It did birth a new version
Speaker 1: of me. At birthed this friendship. It birthed a lot
Speaker 1: of like, I mean, shit, good mom's bad choices, so
Speaker 1: we wouldn't be this last five years were completely different.
Speaker 1: How do we not birthed for humans? So now we
Speaker 1: have better strategy plans.
Speaker 4: That's so really yeah, I was, that's a really nice
Speaker 4: like way of saying we're gonna exploit our birth. I
Speaker 4: was like, that was so sweet and beautiful so when
Speaker 4: you see me and Mila exploiting our birth.
Speaker 1: Just know it was a business deal.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So I've been thinking how to take your new business
Speaker 1: to the next level, and I got the nine month
Speaker 1: plan right here. I'm on birth control. I put the
Speaker 1: non hormonal copper iud in because you're done tired of
Speaker 1: your shit. I'm tired of my own shit, and I'm
Speaker 1: very fertile, and ain't nobody.
Speaker 3: Got time for that.
Speaker 1: So when you're ready, I could take it out.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll let you know. Well, like, don't worry. Okay,
Speaker 3: let me just get past this trip and see how
Speaker 3: much this costs. Okay, I mean it's.
Speaker 1: Gonna cost a lot. So you're gonna need another baby
Speaker 1: to blow the business out of the water.
Speaker 3: It's true.
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I'm not trying to.
Speaker 3: Who's gonna raise it? I mean raise Orlando.
Speaker 4: I mean I could give it to him, and then
Speaker 4: I don't know, maybe we can give you a betro
Speaker 4: to make sure they're both boys.
Speaker 1: I know I'm having a boy, like many psychics have
Speaker 1: told me. I already told myself.
Speaker 3: So I'm having a boil.
Speaker 4: So I know that for sure, if I had another baby,
Speaker 4: if I had a girl, I would prefer that.
Speaker 3: I would prefer a girl. I like girls. I know
Speaker 3: how to deal with them. Yeah, I like being responsible
Speaker 3: for the girls. I don't know if I want to
Speaker 3: be responsible for That's the thing that might be the
Speaker 3: life lesson that I have to learn that. Oh, that's
Speaker 3: the thing.
Speaker 1: Like, if it's a boy, you could be less responsible.
Speaker 1: It's more than dad's thing. You're kind of like, here
Speaker 1: you go, true, true, Okay, enough of babies as a business,
Speaker 1: baby boys.
Speaker 3: The birth of being born, I mean the business of
Speaker 3: being born. This is the business of being born. For
Speaker 3: Good Mom's Edition Influencer Edition, Well, let's get out of here. Yes,
Speaker 3: let's get out of here.
Speaker 4: Make sure you guys click the link in this episode
Speaker 4: description and follow our Patreon at patreon dot com. Backslash
Speaker 4: Good Mom's Bad Choices. We talked about honeypot in the
Speaker 4: beginning of this episode. Make sure you get.
Speaker 3: That major discount twenty five percent off baby when you
Speaker 3: use GM's GMBC twenty three at checkout.
Speaker 1: What say GM Business Gym Business and you guys.
Speaker 3: Were going on tour.
Speaker 1: First stop, of course, La, We're going to be at
Speaker 1: the Telegram Tarrogram Telegram Ballroom on October twenty first, it's
Speaker 1: Confessions of a Good Mom. That means, if you have
Speaker 1: some dirty, nasty secret confessions, call our hotline at eight
Speaker 1: one three zero seven four nine and we might play
Speaker 1: your confession at the show.
Speaker 3: Y'all know you got some shit to confess. Our retreat
Speaker 3: is sold out.
Speaker 4: Our Costa Rica Retreat sold out in like a week,
Speaker 4: but we are announcing other dates soon, So make sure
Speaker 4: you join our newsletter. On our website Good Momsbad Choices
Speaker 4: dot com and just you can really check out all
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Speaker 3: We have really cute merch and join our newsletter.
Speaker 1: We're always sending you know, update checking in with our peeps, and.
Speaker 3: Our website is really cute. It is. It's very professionally.
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Speaker 5: I do not know what Toto solo record