1
00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,359
Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.

2
00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:10,360
Speaker 2: Hi girls, Hi, We started this off a little rocky,

3
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,520
Speaker 2: and I just feel like I have to apologize because

4
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,680
Speaker 2: I found something out about KB that I had no

5
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:15,320
Speaker 2: idea about.

6
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:19,880
Speaker 3: Oh I was, Oh there was Wait what shocked? You

7
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,479
Speaker 3: don't know this about me? I had?

8
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,000
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess when I think about it, And

9
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,320
Speaker 2: if I was to take more of a empathetic moment

10
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,159
Speaker 2: to think about the outcome, I would have gone, I

11
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,840
Speaker 2: bet you she doesn't like this. But if I'm being honest,

12
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,560
Speaker 2: it was a little bit of a selfish, like, oh.

13
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,959
Speaker 3: This is gonna be fun moment for one of us.

14
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,919
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out what's happening.

15
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:43,639
Speaker 3: Okay, it happened to you too this morning. Oh oh

16
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,159
Speaker 3: you did that? I scared.

17
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:51,120
Speaker 2: So I just was like, you know, do something fun. Yeah,

18
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,960
Speaker 2: I was, And so I put my little camera up

19
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:59,640
Speaker 2: and I scared. Kristen was first because you were right

20
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:03,520
Speaker 2: behind me her and so I scared her and I

21
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:04,840
Speaker 2: think we almost broke up.

22
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:06,800
Speaker 3: Oh.

23
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,360
Speaker 4: I do not like being scared at all. If she

24
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,160
Speaker 4: was wearing a mask, we would.

25
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,720
Speaker 3: Actually I probably would have walked out. I don't like it.

26
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,800
Speaker 2: Which I honestly thought about it because those masks are

27
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,800
Speaker 2: that I have those red leg mask. I literally thought

28
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,360
Speaker 2: about that, or the mask from the Mass singer, you

29
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:28,040
Speaker 2: know the little visor thing. Oh Alan scared me with

30
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:32,600
Speaker 2: that one time. He was scared though, But yeah, I'm sorry.

31
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,360
Speaker 2: I had no idea. I just thought it was going

32
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:35,760
Speaker 2: to be funny and it was not for you. Oh

33
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,800
Speaker 2: still still shaking, heart rates, still elevator.

34
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,679
Speaker 1: So what's so funny about this is I had no

35
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,520
Speaker 1: idea that this happened before you scared me. And then

36
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,840
Speaker 1: I go in immediately talking about how much I appreciate the.

37
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,240
Speaker 3: Screw good scare and she's like, what do you do?

38
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:50,600
Speaker 3: And I was like wait what.

39
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,920
Speaker 4: I was like opposite day. I mean, we couldn't have

40
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,400
Speaker 4: reacted any more opposite. You were just like oh and

41
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,280
Speaker 4: then went and washed her hands. I'm like calling a

42
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,320
Speaker 4: counselor and debating a full friendship, and.

43
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,520
Speaker 3: I was like, high five grader, got job where we

44
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:09,400
Speaker 3: come from. I just never liked it. Yeah, yeah, I

45
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:09,760
Speaker 3: don't know.

46
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,760
Speaker 1: I've never there's something deep down in there.

47
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,840
Speaker 2: Can I tell you I started something really fast. This

48
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,919
Speaker 2: is the first thing you and my ex have ever

49
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:18,639
Speaker 2: had in common.

50
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,600
Speaker 1: I was thinking the same thing I.

51
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,160
Speaker 2: Will never forget when we were in when he was

52
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:25,200
Speaker 2: still living in Maryland.

53
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,920
Speaker 3: I love a good scare. I just do.

54
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,880
Speaker 2: I again, I don't like being scared, but I appreciate

55
00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:32,480
Speaker 2: a good scare, right because it's but there's also something

56
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:38,440
Speaker 2: so thrilling about to be scaring someone, do you know, Yeah,

57
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,560
Speaker 2: like if we do it the kids that we all

58
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:45,960
Speaker 2: do it to each other, like it's a thing, right, Yeah, I.

59
00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:54,679
Speaker 3: Know this is right. So oh it's so opposite.

60
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,799
Speaker 2: I remember the very first time he was downstairs and

61
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,840
Speaker 2: I'm by, I'm like in his room where he has

62
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,840
Speaker 2: to come up the stairs, and I this should have

63
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,359
Speaker 2: been like one of the first very big signs.

64
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:11,480
Speaker 3: Of his reactions when you look back. I look back,

65
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:16,880
Speaker 3: and I'm like, that's not how he was so mean.

66
00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:22,120
Speaker 2: He got angry, I mean angry, and I was like,

67
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:22,760
Speaker 2: like slammed his saint.

68
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,920
Speaker 3: I was like, it was the first time. I was

69
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,560
Speaker 3: like again, thinking.

70
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,079
Speaker 2: Back now, I'm like, this is a foreshadowing moment I

71
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,240
Speaker 2: should probably have paid a little closer attention to.

72
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,119
Speaker 3: But yeah, learning the lesson on that one.

73
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,600
Speaker 2: So I'm like you and mic are actually I feel

74
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,120
Speaker 2: like in all the times we've talked about this about Mike,

75
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,600
Speaker 2: I don't know about that we would.

76
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,280
Speaker 1: Have found out that you didn't like it.

77
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,040
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't think i've ever shared the scare

78
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,119
Speaker 2: part though. I don't getting angry, yeah, you know, because

79
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,880
Speaker 2: I get terrified. So I'm going to tell this really,

80
00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,600
Speaker 2: really brief. But I was in high school and there

81
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,400
Speaker 2: was a haunted corn maze Michigan. Don't like those either,

82
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,839
Speaker 2: Yeah you don't. I'm not a big because I don't

83
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:58,480
Speaker 2: want to be trapped.

84
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,560
Speaker 3: Nothing scared. Yeah about being everything is scary to me.

85
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,040
Speaker 4: So I were in the haunted corn maze and I'm

86
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,520
Speaker 4: walking and I'm they've they knew I was afraid, so

87
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,760
Speaker 4: they put me in like a little huddle. So I

88
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,320
Speaker 4: was kind of like the middle of a little circle

89
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,440
Speaker 4: of people in a little pod like minions, just going

90
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:14,120
Speaker 4: around whatever.

91
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,520
Speaker 3: And there was this.

92
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,640
Speaker 4: Girl that came up and she had a varsity jacket

93
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,280
Speaker 4: on from a town over and she was like, I

94
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,800
Speaker 4: got lost for my group. She looked terrified, and so

95
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,359
Speaker 4: you know, I've stayed consistent since eighteen seventeen year old me.

96
00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:29,880
Speaker 4: So I say, come with us, you know, and I

97
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,719
Speaker 4: pull her in and I've linked arms with her, and

98
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,520
Speaker 4: she's walking with us in the little bubble and the

99
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,720
Speaker 4: little minions boo boo boop. Two seconds later, chainsaw guy

100
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,560
Speaker 4: pops out, grabs her.

101
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,360
Speaker 3: And pulls her in.

102
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:45,120
Speaker 4: She's part of it, And I don't know that that's good.

103
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,320
Speaker 3: Mental breakdown, it's good. That's really good. Mental breakdown.

104
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, mental breakdown, fetal position, middle of the maze.

105
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,120
Speaker 3: I say, this isn't funny.

106
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,160
Speaker 4: I want out, like I mean, I like lost it,

107
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,599
Speaker 4: and I've never I don't I've never been in a

108
00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,200
Speaker 4: haunted house.

109
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,880
Speaker 1: Since I've never seen that happened before.

110
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,520
Speaker 4: It was I mean, honestly, objectively brilliant. Yes, Also I

111
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:05,839
Speaker 4: think I still need trauma therapy.

112
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,839
Speaker 3: Well, this might explain some things.

113
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:13,320
Speaker 2: So I remember going to the place it is Anaheim.

114
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,039
Speaker 2: I can't remember the name now, but it was a

115
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,120
Speaker 2: big haunted house. And again I'm not I don't love

116
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,800
Speaker 2: hant houses because I don't know where my exit is

117
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,160
Speaker 2: and I'm a very much like I need to normal

118
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,680
Speaker 2: exitus and he needs to know how to get out.

119
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,559
Speaker 2: Don't feel trapped, But I just I find it's so good.

120
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,039
Speaker 3: I don't know. I love a good boo, happy happy

121
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,279
Speaker 3: boo month. Guys, please don't do it to me.

122
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:36,440
Speaker 1: I know I wouldn't because.

123
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,120
Speaker 3: I know you hate it. No, it's not even like,

124
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,839
Speaker 3: oh that was funny, got me.

125
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,200
Speaker 2: I'm like, we have we have boundaries though, around our

126
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,279
Speaker 2: booths in our house. So Alan is not allowed to

127
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,400
Speaker 2: boo me from he can't be outside because my one

128
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:52,200
Speaker 2: of my big that's fair, uh fears is when I'm

129
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,640
Speaker 2: home alone, when I go to the lock up, because

130
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,359
Speaker 2: that's it's wooded in the back right, and so my

131
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,240
Speaker 2: biggest fear of seeing someone just standing there.

132
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,160
Speaker 3: Ever since only we say these things out loud on here,

133
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:06,760
Speaker 3: because now I'm badly want to show up. Did you kidding?

134
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,640
Speaker 3: I would never do that to you. I just would

135
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,040
Speaker 3: never do that to you. Wouldn't do it. But gosh,

136
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,239
Speaker 3: you're just tempting me so much. Catherarancy is a playbook.

137
00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:17,520
Speaker 3: I see a safety hazard. I don't like. It's just

138
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,080
Speaker 3: what we are so also different. So it's and yeah,

139
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,120
Speaker 3: it's it's terrifying. It's terrific.

140
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,520
Speaker 2: I mean, I even now that I have my little

141
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,039
Speaker 2: ring cameras in my backyard, I still will look to

142
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,960
Speaker 2: be like, you know, do I see anybody just standing there?

143
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,960
Speaker 2: Because it just it's it's and that's been since I

144
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,280
Speaker 2: was twelve years old babysitting, you know, of course, of course, yeah,

145
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,919
Speaker 2: and that's just kind of carried with me through my

146
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,440
Speaker 2: adolescent So that piece of it, I'm like, you were

147
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:42,480
Speaker 2: not allowed to go outside and scare me like that.

148
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, So but I could do it to him if

149
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,680
Speaker 3: I want to do Yeah.

150
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,039
Speaker 4: Yeah, but a fake murderer in the house is super

151
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:50,679
Speaker 4: fun to everyone.

152
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:50,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

153
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,320
Speaker 2: Sometimes when he goes out to his bathroom to go poop,

154
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,480
Speaker 2: he's like a poop bathroom outside. I'll stand outside. But

155
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,040
Speaker 2: one time I'll stand out there for like twenty minutes.

156
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,720
Speaker 2: I was like, I say, I.

157
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,760
Speaker 3: Was like, I'm tired.

158
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,039
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

159
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:03,320
Speaker 3: Yes.

160
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,640
Speaker 2: Anyways, Happy Boo month. Guys, do you have a well hold?

161
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,160
Speaker 1: I have a question? And you said there were two

162
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,160
Speaker 1: reasons that started off rocky this morning.

163
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:12,880
Speaker 3: Oh yeah.

164
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:17,160
Speaker 2: A couple of weeks ago, we posted a Instagram about

165
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:22,640
Speaker 2: who was my ride or di Oh, and yeah, I

166
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:25,400
Speaker 2: had a lot of people slide in being like Christen's

167
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,679
Speaker 2: going to be really upset about this and very insensitive.

168
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:35,440
Speaker 4: And oh I got a lot of messages really I'm sorry, and.

169
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,240
Speaker 3: A couple of potstars. I did have a couple of pots.

170
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,040
Speaker 3: I'm a good potstar. I love it quote.

171
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,480
Speaker 4: You're obsessed with being her best friend. I was like, I,

172
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,000
Speaker 4: I mean, obsessed is a word I kind of like,

173
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:52,600
Speaker 4: but I wouldn't use that. But I had to just say,

174
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,280
Speaker 4: I actually don't disagree that Kat's the rider.

175
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,119
Speaker 3: Die. Oh I don't.

176
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,800
Speaker 4: I said, Catherine has been in a lot a lot

177
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,200
Speaker 4: of chapters, in a lot of spaces with Jana that

178
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,720
Speaker 4: I couldn't be in for whatever reason, whether it was

179
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,640
Speaker 4: that we didn't know each other yet, or like family

180
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,080
Speaker 4: or whatever. And I said, I don't disagree. And I

181
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,280
Speaker 4: said Kat is a national treasure. Oh that's sweet. And

182
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,480
Speaker 4: she knows all my secrets.

183
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,880
Speaker 3: She even said it when she's posting it. She was like,

184
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,400
Speaker 3: because she knows all my.

185
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:21,720
Speaker 2: Secrets, every single one of my voice members, which drives me.

186
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:22,680
Speaker 1: Why did she.

187
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,800
Speaker 2: By the way, it is insurance, it says captain marriage

188
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:29,280
Speaker 2: And I'm like.

189
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,959
Speaker 3: Did you still say that? Yes, I changed the setting. No, MA,

190
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,320
Speaker 3: I think you say that, Yeah, Kit Cat doesn't.

191
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,280
Speaker 1: Everyone's hey, I'm here for it. But the sad thing

192
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:39,440
Speaker 1: is is I don't still have them.

193
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,640
Speaker 3: You know, That's not why I'm not really like, oh,

194
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:41,920
Speaker 3: I know.

195
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,280
Speaker 1: I know, Hey, I am fine with being that, but

196
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,040
Speaker 1: I think it's also important to note you can have

197
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,520
Speaker 1: lots of best friends.

198
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,200
Speaker 3: And it be different. You know, oh for sure.

199
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:57,280
Speaker 4: That's so I'm sorry, though, Oh I actually didn't, I

200
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,040
Speaker 4: have like zero feelings.

201
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,000
Speaker 3: I was like, I would just a really agree people.

202
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's funny feelings.

203
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,960
Speaker 4: Other people have feelings or that people think you can

204
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,520
Speaker 4: still only have one best friend, right right, right.

205
00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:10,559
Speaker 2: Well, you chose to go to dinner with us, so

206
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,760
Speaker 2: I mean I could have put those true.

207
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,400
Speaker 3: She would have put both of us had you been there.

208
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,560
Speaker 3: It's fair. I know this about her though, I mean

209
00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:19,520
Speaker 3: she and I.

210
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,440
Speaker 1: Love that about you, having said that you used to

211
00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:24,120
Speaker 1: call everybody, everybody your best friend.

212
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,040
Speaker 3: And this is when I was like, actually, just like.

213
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,679
Speaker 1: Actually her only really best friend, okay, And I'm like.

214
00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:34,720
Speaker 3: Okay, now, I'm like actually kind of getting offended.

215
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,600
Speaker 1: But like you say, like we're saying it to you,

216
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,480
Speaker 1: doesn't offend me in the least because you are a

217
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:39,960
Speaker 1: best friend.

218
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:41,439
Speaker 3: You know, you are her best friend.

219
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,160
Speaker 1: But like when she used to say it to like

220
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,200
Speaker 1: the random people, and I was like, mmm, not no,

221
00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:45,920
Speaker 1: not cool.

222
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,719
Speaker 4: Well, she used to say best friend, and then she

223
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,440
Speaker 4: used to say bestie, and I feel like the besties

224
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,559
Speaker 4: were a tear down. Yeah, it's just an easy way

225
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,640
Speaker 4: of saying that truth. I love that we're talking about

226
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,360
Speaker 4: you like you're not.

227
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,200
Speaker 3: This is just I love this. I love that about you,

228
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:02,080
Speaker 3: though things I don't don't love about you? Are you

229
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:02,839
Speaker 3: scaring the sh.

230
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:08,160
Speaker 2: I just I love October? I do I hate October.

231
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,640
Speaker 4: I do love October. You don't like October. I'm ready

232
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:11,440
Speaker 4: to get to November.

233
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:11,760
Speaker 3: First.

234
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:16,000
Speaker 4: Oh, everything is scary. You can't even walk into a Walgreens.

235
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,000
Speaker 4: You're gonna hate the man that we put up on

236
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:18,760
Speaker 4: our front porch.

237
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,280
Speaker 3: Oh, I love that guy. Yeah, he's great.

238
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:26,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, And honestly, everything is scary. I'm like, I'll just

239
00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:27,920
Speaker 4: be in my house until November.

240
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:28,280
Speaker 3: First.

241
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:32,440
Speaker 1: The kid at twelve years old, babysitting and watching no

242
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:35,720
Speaker 1: movies about the babysitter with the man outside. Now, it's

243
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,880
Speaker 1: so terrified me. But I just I'm messed up. I

244
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,800
Speaker 1: guess I like to be scared. I don't know.

245
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I will watch a movie with both

246
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,240
Speaker 2: hands over my face, but still keep a.

247
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,679
Speaker 4: Little crazy to see you grease a little, a little

248
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:53,679
Speaker 4: opening and people write, did have you watched Abbot Elementary?

249
00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:55,960
Speaker 3: And I'm like, is it scary?

250
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:55,160
Speaker 2: Is it?

251
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:56,439
Speaker 1: Oh?

252
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,080
Speaker 3: Abbot Elementary? I think it's a comedy. Yeah. She was like,

253
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,760
Speaker 3: my first question is it scary? Because I'm not even watching?

254
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:02,880
Speaker 2: Oh?

255
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:03,439
Speaker 3: Yeah you did.

256
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,920
Speaker 2: I'd love to be in a movie like The Strangers,

257
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:06,840
Speaker 2: one of my favorite.

258
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,080
Speaker 3: I love that movie. You haven't watched it? Watched the

259
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,800
Speaker 3: first one? It's so good, so good. Did you watch

260
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,280
Speaker 3: the other one? The second one? I watched, Yeah, but

261
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,280
Speaker 3: it wasn't it wasn't as good.

262
00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:20,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, it's it's a classic October movie. But

263
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:24,280
Speaker 2: my mom didn't like Halloween ever, so we never had

264
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,600
Speaker 2: any Halloween direct decorations. Really wasn't a fan of it.

265
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,480
Speaker 2: So I don't know. I've all I think I've tried

266
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,520
Speaker 2: to go opposite and just like really own into the season.

267
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,120
Speaker 2: And this is I'm not gonna say what it is, but.

268
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,920
Speaker 3: We have you know.

269
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,720
Speaker 2: I always like to do a good family yeah costume.

270
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,439
Speaker 2: We didn't do it the last year because you know,

271
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,360
Speaker 2: the kids all kind of wanted to be telling something different.

272
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,920
Speaker 2: But I got them on something this year. It's gonna

273
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:47,720
Speaker 2: be so fun good.

274
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,920
Speaker 4: We picktars finally, I'm terrible that I I'll do so

275
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,960
Speaker 4: that's what's weird. I actually dislike Halloween so much, but

276
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,559
Speaker 4: Love loves the costumes, so I go all in for her.

277
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,040
Speaker 4: We're not out, I don't, but it's gonna be tricky

278
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,640
Speaker 4: to find group costumes. That's where I'm stuck. So we

279
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,920
Speaker 4: have one this year. I don't know that it's my favorite,

280
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:07,679
Speaker 4: but we're doing it.

281
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,840
Speaker 2: I have actually a questioned about Halloween because there's some

282
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,280
Speaker 2: that don't do it because the Christianity piece of it.

283
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,200
Speaker 3: What are you all thoughts on that?

284
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,360
Speaker 1: I've never really dug into that. We've always either celebrated Halloween.

285
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,600
Speaker 1: It's never been a huge, you know, holiday in our house.

286
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:40,080
Speaker 1: But I guess I can see where they're coming from.

287
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,680
Speaker 1: It's just not been something that I've necessarily dug into

288
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,160
Speaker 1: a whole lot.

289
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,880
Speaker 4: I think the way we do it is just the imagination,

290
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,720
Speaker 4: and that's it, because we're not doing anything spooky scary,

291
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:49,800
Speaker 4: like it's just pumpkins.

292
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,240
Speaker 1: And it could probably get to a point where it's like, Okay,

293
00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:56,760
Speaker 1: you know, this is a little our school demoonic and stuff.

294
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,960
Speaker 1: I can understand that, but it's just never been something.

295
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:04,880
Speaker 2: That, yeah, anything else Oh yeah, Should I go into

296
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,640
Speaker 2: my mind about it because I am like two hours

297
00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:08,360
Speaker 2: of sleep y'all?

298
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:12,240
Speaker 1: Uh oh, I can't wait to see how the rest

299
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:12,679
Speaker 1: of us went.

300
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:17,960
Speaker 2: Oh okay, it is also October, which is domestic violence

301
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,400
Speaker 2: wearin this month, and there are some things coming up

302
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,880
Speaker 2: this month. We're going I'm actually, guys, there's I'm gonna okay,

303
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,679
Speaker 2: there's two pieces to this whole entire thing, because I

304
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,760
Speaker 2: actually want to talk about one piece of it and

305
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,199
Speaker 2: then the other piece. I want to talk about what

306
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,400
Speaker 2: happened a couple weeks ago. So I talked about this

307
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:38,720
Speaker 2: in my book. But three am, when I was with

308
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,000
Speaker 2: my first abuser, he would take me out of bed,

309
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,640
Speaker 2: throw me down on the floor, beat the living crap

310
00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:48,640
Speaker 2: out of me. So I was always really, you know,

311
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:54,079
Speaker 2: terrified whatever, And when we broke up, it was always

312
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,360
Speaker 2: when I was ever alone, three in the morning. Was

313
00:13:56,400 --> 00:14:01,160
Speaker 2: my body trauma response to that happening. So, you know,

314
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,600
Speaker 2: worked through a therapy, the whole thing got on medication

315
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,720
Speaker 2: stopped for a while, but then it would happen again.

316
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:12,079
Speaker 2: When you know, when I was married, the anxiety came back.

317
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:16,960
Speaker 2: I think because I was in a toxic situation that

318
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:21,560
Speaker 2: was possibly reminding me of certain situations from my former abuser.

319
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,640
Speaker 2: One of the reasons, and this is so silly to admit,

320
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,800
Speaker 2: but like one of the reasons I didn't want to

321
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,600
Speaker 2: leave Mike was because I was like, I don't think

322
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:32,640
Speaker 2: I can be home alone because I don't think that

323
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,600
Speaker 2: I can I can do it, like I need to

324
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,040
Speaker 2: have him there, and I don't.

325
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,120
Speaker 3: I won't be able to sleep.

326
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,040
Speaker 2: And so you know, I've had like you come over before, friends,

327
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:47,840
Speaker 2: I've called a like emergency the trucks. Oh, I was

328
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,880
Speaker 2: having it, yeah, a con panic attack because I would

329
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,840
Speaker 2: like pass out, like and so freak out. So cut

330
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,840
Speaker 2: to all those things. Obviously, I worked through it with

331
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,120
Speaker 2: my divorce. I got to a part with Amy and

332
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,200
Speaker 2: just you know, from having to just forcing myself like

333
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,480
Speaker 2: I have to do this and you'll get through it.

334
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,280
Speaker 2: So it took me a minute, but I was able

335
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,040
Speaker 2: to finally not wake up at three in the morning

336
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,480
Speaker 2: and I was able to be alone.

337
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:08,240
Speaker 3: Right.

338
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:13,520
Speaker 2: So Alan was just out of town a couple weeks

339
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,360
Speaker 2: ago and.

340
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,960
Speaker 3: Three am no, and I was like, damn it.

341
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,080
Speaker 2: And now typically now this happens when he's out of town,

342
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,400
Speaker 2: like I'll wake up at the three am, and typically

343
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,720
Speaker 2: I know how to talk myself out of the panic attack.

344
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, you're not alone, like and I'll

345
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,360
Speaker 2: scroll or I'll look like my little Bible app like

346
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,360
Speaker 2: there's things that I'll do that gets my mind off

347
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,720
Speaker 2: of it because i know now, like I'm good, I'm

348
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:40,480
Speaker 2: actually not alone. And this is where I like lean

349
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 2: into my faith and do all that. But what happened

350
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:47,360
Speaker 2: was was that. So that happened. So we Catherine and

351
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,800
Speaker 2: I went to this event, and in my mind, I'm like,

352
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to trick the devil in this. What I'm

353
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:56,160
Speaker 2: going to do is I'm going to stay up late

354
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,840
Speaker 2: so that I don't wake up at three am, right,

355
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,120
Speaker 2: because I'm like, surely I won't do that because I'll

356
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,480
Speaker 2: be so tired. Well, the problem is is that I've

357
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,440
Speaker 2: now psyched myself out like everybody's going to sleep right

358
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,320
Speaker 2: because it's now midnight, and I'm like, oh God, like

359
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,760
Speaker 2: now now I'm over tired because I'm exhausted right, Like

360
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,560
Speaker 2: I want to go to I usually go to sleep

361
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,400
Speaker 2: like ten thirty. So this is a very long story.

362
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:22,200
Speaker 2: So I'm texting Cat. I know she's awake because she's

363
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,600
Speaker 2: a night owl. And she even said in the car

364
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,160
Speaker 2: that day, She's like, yeah, I don't what time do.

365
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,040
Speaker 3: You go to bed? At twelve?

366
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, hey girl, so I'm doing what you're doing,

367
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,640
Speaker 2: you know, I'm staying up. But then I started to

368
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,320
Speaker 2: panic because I'm like, all right, now everyone's going to sleep.

369
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,120
Speaker 2: Now I'm now I'm awake, you know. And now I'm

370
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,840
Speaker 2: like now I'm rolling alone. And so then I start

371
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,640
Speaker 2: to just like have this like up and down panic moment.

372
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:42,960
Speaker 2: But I was like, cat, can you leave your phone on,

373
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 2: like just if I like need to call you? And

374
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:45,960
Speaker 2: I got back to that point where I was like

375
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,000
Speaker 2: own a friend, Like I were just like I need

376
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 2: I just need to know that like someone is awake,

377
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:51,880
Speaker 2: that would be awake. You know.

378
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,440
Speaker 3: I'm actually never going to call you.

379
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,240
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah in the middle of the night, but like

380
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,200
Speaker 2: I know that if I did call, you'd be yeah,

381
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,280
Speaker 2: oh maybe yeah.

382
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,480
Speaker 1: Well then I was like really nervous because look, if

383
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,480
Speaker 1: I don't hear this and it calls, like turn it

384
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:04,960
Speaker 1: up real loud.

385
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:05,879
Speaker 3: So you said, this is the first time.

386
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,080
Speaker 1: That's the first time I have left my phone on.

387
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,200
Speaker 1: I mean, if a kid was spending the night out

388
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,560
Speaker 1: every now and then but Nick's is real is usually on,

389
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,480
Speaker 1: so I don't even worry about that because then they

390
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,360
Speaker 1: would call him. I never leave it on. I always

391
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,919
Speaker 1: have it is silent. That's why I miss most calls

392
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,800
Speaker 1: because my phone is just silent, so if I'm not

393
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,080
Speaker 1: looking at it, I don't hear it or no, it's

394
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,359
Speaker 1: you know. But I was like, yes, I'll leave it on,

395
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:29,640
Speaker 1: and I.

396
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,720
Speaker 3: Was like, turn it up, turn it up. I know

397
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,080
Speaker 3: you generally don't call.

398
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean we've done this several times through the years,

399
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,400
Speaker 1: you know, and we're even in the same hotel room.

400
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,359
Speaker 1: If we're in a different hotel and same hotel in

401
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 1: different hotel rooms, sometimes you'll ask me to leave it on,

402
00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:45,280
Speaker 1: and I do you never call this?

403
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,800
Speaker 3: Is that rider or die territory. I'm talking about it

404
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:52,200
Speaker 3: because I am double magnesium and cozy. No chance of

405
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,720
Speaker 3: getting gave me up and I have been.

406
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it was one of those things where it's

407
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,159
Speaker 2: like and then by the time that it was not

408
00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,919
Speaker 2: then it was one o'clock, right, So I'm just like,

409
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,320
Speaker 2: then I in my mind it's like, now I'm gonna

410
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,119
Speaker 2: get it. No sleep because now I'm creeping up to

411
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,480
Speaker 2: that three o'clock. So it's like I built myself up

412
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,480
Speaker 2: to get to this point when I thought I would

413
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 2: just you know, be fine. So I'm then you know,

414
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,840
Speaker 2: now I'm facetiming Alan because he's awake in London. You know, say, baby,

415
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,199
Speaker 2: what are you scared about? And I was like, it's

416
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,720
Speaker 2: not even I was like, I'm good, Like I'm not

417
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,600
Speaker 2: having a like, yes, my heart rates slightly elevated and

418
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:23,800
Speaker 2: you know, I'm getting anxious. I was like, but i

419
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 2: know how to work myself out of it. I'm like,

420
00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 2: and I know I'm fine. I know, you know, Pam's

421
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,520
Speaker 2: just right there, and I know Catholics like, I know,

422
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,080
Speaker 2: I'm fine. I was like, but my body remembers it differently.

423
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 2: And I was like, and I guess maybe that's my

424
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,240
Speaker 2: wind about it, as like I appreciate the body to

425
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,680
Speaker 2: always protect you, but what I don't love is that,

426
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,880
Speaker 2: Like I was like crying about it last night because

427
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm good, but I'm just me like

428
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,199
Speaker 2: really tired too. But I'm like it was like I

429
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,240
Speaker 2: was literally like screaming in my bathroom. I was like, God,

430
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,640
Speaker 2: just go to sleep, like you are fine. No one's

431
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:57,080
Speaker 2: gonna hurt you. Like you're good, and I'm just like discourage,

432
00:18:57,119 --> 00:18:59,280
Speaker 2: you know, and I'm almost like texted Amy to be like, well, shit,

433
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,359
Speaker 2: we gotta work on this again. But it's like I

434
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,120
Speaker 2: don't love that piece where the where the body can

435
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,199
Speaker 2: make you go back into that place of like you

436
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 2: got to protect yourself. I'm like I'm nothing to protect

437
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:11,479
Speaker 2: myself against. Like I know, I'm like safe and like

438
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,639
Speaker 2: it's all good, but like I it ficks me up

439
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 2: when it like brings me back to that. So I

440
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,239
Speaker 2: finally fall asleep at like one thirty time to make

441
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 2: up that three.

442
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,280
Speaker 3: I want to hold you.

443
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,760
Speaker 1: Well, and it's like your mind is telling you your

444
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,360
Speaker 1: first time that you're fine, but your body is still just.

445
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,040
Speaker 4: And you're tired, so that doesn't help. So then the

446
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,560
Speaker 4: more tired you get, the worse you can't get a

447
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 4: good clear grip on yourself.

448
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,159
Speaker 2: So I'm like texting on and I'm like fuck me.

449
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 2: I was like I'm like, I was like this is

450
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,679
Speaker 2: so frustrating, and like luckily I fell like to sleep fine,

451
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,399
Speaker 2: like I think, I like went to sleep at like

452
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,160
Speaker 2: three thirty and then you know, woke up at seven,

453
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 2: so like great, but it's just that like why you

454
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,399
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like what, like I know I'm safe,

455
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 2: I know I'm good, and it's like and I was

456
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 2: like trying to beat the system to stay awake later,

457
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 2: so I just I don't understand.

458
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:02,680
Speaker 3: I think I to get it.

459
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think Also, and I've said this before too,

460
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 4: there's like we attach a judgment to a feeling and that's.

461
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:11,920
Speaker 3: The danger for you.

462
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 2: And like I was like why so many years post

463
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 2: like you're weak when you said that story, I was

464
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,240
Speaker 2: that's the part I heard the most.

465
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 3: It was like you should be over this. Why are

466
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 3: you do It's like it's okay to just what are

467
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:26,359
Speaker 3: you scared of?

468
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, like the judgment attaching and judgment to the feeling

469
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:33,720
Speaker 4: is the really like dangerous part because you really are

470
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 4: fine and you're also still human, it's okay. Like I

471
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,640
Speaker 4: feel that way with a loud noise, So I grew

472
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 4: up or.

473
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,199
Speaker 3: Being scared like a hip friend like I was.

474
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 4: To no no, no no no, like if I had

475
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 4: like a trauma from being like jumped at or no.

476
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 4: But like in my house even I feel a visceral

477
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 4: reaction when something's really loud, because growing up was very loud.

478
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,920
Speaker 4: It was raid and it was holes and walls, things

479
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 4: that were just really big noises, so that instant something's

480
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 4: too loud, something drops, something falls, like I can feel

481
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 4: it down my spine. It's like a fight or flight response.

482
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 4: And I sometimes am like, why is that still a thing?

483
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 4: Like I'm you know whatever, But I think we are

484
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 4: still human. You know, if you were in the woods, right,

485
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 4: we have to remember, like you're just still a human being.

486
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 3: If you were, it's it's.

487
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 4: Primal, Like if you were in the woods and know

488
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 4: that in the middle of the night something could attack you, well,

489
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 4: then your humanness is going to remember that to protect you.

490
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,199
Speaker 2: Because it's like everyone's sleep, Like who could actually help me?

491
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 2: You know in the end of the night, like everyone's

492
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 2: sill sleep. That's like just me.

493
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 3: But I literally had to repeat Scripture to fall asleep, so.

494
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,640
Speaker 1: I often did your brain still tell you that when

495
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,159
Speaker 1: you wake up? Like initially, oh yeah, like you're alone,

496
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,640
Speaker 1: no one could help you.

497
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 3: You're all like you're alone.

498
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 2: You'll you'll like someone's like it's like it's like not

499
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 2: saying someone's gonna come get you, but it's like if

500
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 2: it's your waiting for the attack, you know what I mean,

501
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 2: You're waiting for someone to barge through the door. Like

502
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 2: it's that like right right, yes, Like I'm like look

503
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 2: at the camera, you know what I mean, Like and

504
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 2: like listen, he's long gone, you know what I mean.

505
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,199
Speaker 4: But one might creep you out, but I like to

506
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 4: So I'm home alone a lot, you know, and I

507
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 4: don't super love it, but I will envision like Jesus

508
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 4: doing a prayer walk outside my house, Like I just

509
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 4: envision like like like a night guard, like he's doing

510
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,439
Speaker 4: that just all around my house, like there's just no

511
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 4: like love and protected. And then if I feel super

512
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 4: anxious in the middle of the night, I imagine his

513
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 4: hand against like my heart. Just calm, just like calm,

514
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 4: and I just take a deep breath and I will say,

515
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 4: and I these words always Jesus be near lowers everything

516
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 4: in my body. Yeah, so I just I say it

517
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 4: out loud, though I can't because sometimes even just hearing

518
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 4: yourself instead of like our thoughts are so spirally. But

519
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 4: then the minute you put a voice to it, like

520
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:02,400
Speaker 4: an actual like audio, you're like, okay, you're right, Like yeah,

521
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 4: I'm okay.

522
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 2: And I don't know if this is exact scripture, but

523
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:06,880
Speaker 2: I was like casting all your fears on him because

524
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 2: he cares for you. Like I was right, I was

525
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 2: just like saying I said over and over until I

526
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,159
Speaker 2: eventually fell back asleep.

527
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, like you're his and he wants to.

528
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: Protect And I think seeing that, like it sounds like, yes,

529
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: you still woke up, but you went to sleep quicker

530
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 1: and seeing the positive and the you're moving forward, you know,

531
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,880
Speaker 1: and I understand that's probably frustrating. It's like your anxiety

532
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 1: was gone after your divorce, you know, it was like

533
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:29,880
Speaker 1: miraculously gone.

534
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,400
Speaker 3: And it's not like I'm having anxiety.

535
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,680
Speaker 2: It's like but it's like, because I know how to

536
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 2: work through it now, you're not having the moment where

537
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 2: before like I would I would I would be so

538
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 2: panicked that I would pass out instantly and have that

539
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 2: dizzy because it's like my I was telling Amy, I'm like,

540
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 2: I'd go from like zero to one hundred.

541
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 3: I can't stop it.

542
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 2: We've worked on it to where I can wake up

543
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 2: and have a little and be like I'm good, everything's fine.

544
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: You know, well, so this is just another little blip

545
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 1: that you're that you know how to handle it now,

546
00:23:58,880 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 1: so just you.

547
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 3: Know, augment to that couraging yeah.

548
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 1: I mean I can see where that would be super

549
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 1: but I want to like slurging because I think it's

550
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,640
Speaker 1: great that you can get yourself out of it. Like, well,

551
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying.

552
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 2: To do that now, I would be like someone could

553
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 2: hear now, like i'd be calling you, like begging you

554
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 2: to come over in the morning.

555
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure.

556
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 1: But I think seeing the positives in it have to be,

557
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,919
Speaker 1: you know, important too. But I understand that that was

558
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: I mean, I've I can't relate.

559
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 3: I truly can't, and I don't know.

560
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: That's why I asked these questions because I'm curious what

561
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: it feels like, what that is, you know, and so

562
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 1: I don't you know, I don't have advice, I don't

563
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 1: have whatever. But to me, I'm hearing the positive in it.

564
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 1: Like just when we were talking about it a couple

565
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: of weeks ago, when it was I couldn't go to

566
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 1: sleep for an hour.

567
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 3: I couldn't.

568
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, great, we got thirty minutes, you know,

569
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 1: so maybe new pre getting somewhere.

570
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 3: It's a new PR personal record. Oh there we go.

571
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but I'm sorry that's frustrated.

572
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 2: It's like I just wish that I don't know if

573
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,159
Speaker 2: it's just so. So this month we're going to to

574
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,959
Speaker 2: have Amy Alexander, our therapist, come on and we're going

575
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 2: to talk about DV and you know, I'm interested because

576
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 2: again we've talked about it, but I'm just curious why

577
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 2: if it's something I just have to even rework the hour,

578
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 2: you know, because I've got some friends that are like, no,

579
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,719
Speaker 2: my time is four twenty six or I don't know,

580
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 2: it's like and then it's just a habit to then you'rely, does.

581
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 1: It become like a habit? Yeah, well this was going

582
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 1: to be my question. And it also happens i'm alone,

583
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 1: that's okay. That was one of my questions, like a

584
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 1: baby next time, And I didn't want to seem insensitive,

585
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:34,880
Speaker 1: but I have heard is it cortisol if you wake

586
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,120
Speaker 1: up like two or three in the morning, Like could

587
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 1: there be a correlation? But yeah, my blood work is great,

588
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 1: A been fine. So that's like just you know, yeah,

589
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 1: when you're just alone.

590
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 2: So but yes, so she's coming on and then we're

591
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 2: going to try to get another survivor coming on and

592
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 2: then you guys, this is the piece where I'm you

593
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 2: don't bust say yeah, where I don't I don't know

594
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 2: what to do. So back in when Dancing with the Stars,

595
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 2: when I came out with the DV DV story, do

596
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 2: you remember who recontacted us? Yeah, So one of the

597
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 2: daughters that I had no idea about of my first

598
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 2: abuser wanted to have a conversation and I, you know,

599
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,159
Speaker 2: I spoke to her a little bit, but then I

600
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 2: stopped because it was just too traumatizing, too too much,

601
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 2: and so on one of my like why what do

602
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 2: you want to know? Wednesdays she had and I've I've

603
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 2: been thinking about her to be like, I'm sorry I

604
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 2: essentially ghosted you, like because I did. Like She's like

605
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 2: I really would like to get on the phone, but

606
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 2: I just couldn't handle it at time, Like I just

607
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 2: was like, I'm out, I'm tapping out. But also it's

608
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 2: like she never knew her father, you know, you know,

609
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 2: I unfortunately knew him in a bad way, you know,

610
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 2: So I'm like what. So basically, she she ended up

611
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 2: being like could could I ever could we have a

612
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 2: conversation on your podcast about it?

613
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 3: Wow?

614
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 2: And I'm like maybe, Like and then I'm you know,

615
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 2: so I'm trying to think, like how can this help her?

616
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 2: Because you now she's a grown woman in her thirties.

617
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 2: But I'm like, is that going to be too is

618
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 2: it too traumata? Is it too much? Or do I

619
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 2: is there? Does it open a wound that isn't helpful

620
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 2: or is there a piece in it? I don't know,

621
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 2: you guys, I'm really torn and I don't know.

622
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 3: What to do.

623
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 2: Oh that's tough because she's the victim of someone who

624
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,399
Speaker 2: you know, and she's the How don't I say that?

625
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 2: Like she you know, she's the child of an abuser,

626
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 2: but that didn't know her father in that like ever

627
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 2: in that way?

628
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,919
Speaker 3: Does she know him at all? I don't think so,

629
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 3: I'm saying.

630
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,360
Speaker 1: She's also about it in just a different way.

631
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,120
Speaker 2: It's gotten like a multiple kids that I had no clue,

632
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 2: but I only knew about one.

633
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: What's hard for me? Sorry not to I don't know

634
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 1: what's hard for me. Like my topics and my initial

635
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:05,919
Speaker 1: thought it's what can this do to help her? Not

636
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,880
Speaker 1: thinking about you, but what can this do to help her?

637
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 1: And my fear in that is how does that help her?

638
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: And maybe that's something we don't know. Maybe there is

639
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: a way that that helps her, But are you. You're

640
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 1: essentially coming with a bunch of negative things because it's

641
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: your experience about her dad, and I have a hard

642
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 1: time seeing how that helps her. I don't see how

643
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: that's helpful. But maybe it is just because she needs

644
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: to talk to someone that knew him in general.

645
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 3: I don't know.

646
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, And as far as you go opening up a way,

647
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: you know, I.

648
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 3: Always want to help people. I think it would be

649
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 3: great for you.

650
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 1: I don't know coming from a therapy point of view

651
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: and how that opens up wounds, but in the way

652
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 1: that you are and the way that you want to

653
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 1: help people, I actually think it could be beautiful. I

654
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: don't know how I feel about it on the podcast. Sorry, guys,

655
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest. I feel like there needs to

656
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 1: be a discussion before orhand. Probably I would have a podcast.

657
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 1: I kind of agree. Yeah, that's just so how can

658
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 1: you be full? And I know we get really but

659
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 1: can she really be fully authentic and without any kind

660
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 1: of conversation before? I would worry about that for both

661
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: of y'all.

662
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 4: And almost like I want someone to mediate a little

663
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 4: Yeah that was another someone like a trained professional, Yeah,

664
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 4: you know, like maybe an amy or somebody that can

665
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 4: really know and be detached and speak some life and

666
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 4: keep it. I think with any conversation, you know, obviously

667
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 4: you're in any conversation, you're talking to a different person,

668
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 4: so you just never know their side. But if you

669
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 4: can be prayerful about how you want it to be

670
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 4: and at a therapist once it said it's all about

671
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 4: how you walk into a room. So if you just

672
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 4: have a posture of like, this is how I want

673
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 4: it to be, not on her side, but your side,

674
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 4: and how you want to show up, I think it

675
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 4: could be good. But I think the mediation piece could

676
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 4: be helpful.

677
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 1: Well, I I mean being I'll just go ahead and

678
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 1: say it too my other again, initial reac this is

679
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 1: the first time I'm hearing about this is why does

680
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 1: she want to come on the podcast to talk about it?

681
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 3: Yeah?

682
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 1: Same, And I think she has bad mentions intimately, But

683
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, if she genuinely just wants to get to

684
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: know you and talk to you as her someone who

685
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: was with her father, to me, that's a conversation not

686
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 1: on the podcast at first. If it gets to a

687
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: point where y'all go sit down with a therapist and

688
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 1: y'all have kind of talked through some things and then

689
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: y'all want to share what has come out of that

690
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 1: on the podcast. I think that's great, But me being

691
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: the person I am, I question why she's saying specifically

692
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 1: can I come on the podcast?

693
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 4: Like I'm having a hard time figuring out. Like Amy

694
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 4: reached out to me and was like, you know, I

695
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 4: know that you're part of these conversations and given like

696
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 4: the history, you know, with the way you grew up

697
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 4: in things like are you do you feel comfortable talking

698
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 4: about this? You know you can always say no, She's

699
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 4: so protective, And I said no, and Janma said the

700
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 4: same thing, you know, like are you comfortable with it?

701
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 4: And I'm having a hard time, not hard time, but

702
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 4: I'm being very prayer for about how much I share

703
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 4: what I share and I am a daughter of that well,

704
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 4: and that's.

705
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 2: The piece where yeah, And that's the piece where I'm like,

706
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 2: you know, we've talked to other victims of DV I've

707
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 2: shared some of my experiences, we haven't really talked to

708
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 2: the people that were not directly like sure physically her.

709
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: It's the people around like you the daughter of she

710
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 2: was the daughter of, you know, and it's like, you know, again,

711
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:31,719
Speaker 2: she didn't see what you saw it, but it's like,

712
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 2: you know, I saw my own things. So it's like,

713
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 2: you know, it's I.

714
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 4: Just wonder what her I would be. Maybe that's the question,

715
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 4: like what is your goal? What in an ideal world,

716
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 4: what would you get out of this conversation that could

717
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 4: be helpful to you? Because I want to be able

718
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 4: to provide that to you and also honor and protect myself.

719
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it could in the end be very

720
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 1: helpful for a lot of people. I would just think

721
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: if you are up for it, doing it first intimately

722
00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 1: and then maybe coming on here and.

723
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 3: Talk for sure.

724
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 2: And I was like, so I was thinking about it

725
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 2: when she she had asked, I'm like, October is coming up,

726
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 2: and you know, I do want to honor as much

727
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 2: as I can because I don't talk about it a lot,

728
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 2: you know. So yeah, I have some more conversations. Yeah,

729
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 2: anybody else want to wind about it? Anyone want to

730
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: bring it up a little better?

731
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 3: Bring it up or lighter like light lighter wines.

732
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, all my wines are deep, so white wines,

733
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 1: white wines, light wines. Yeah, I don't really I feel

734
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: like we have kind of wind.

735
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have something I'm pinning way too much.

736
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: Another time we wind about waking up, I think we

737
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 1: definitely got our wine in.

738
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 3: We did. Okay, Yeah, that's like we can bring it up.

739
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 3: And I'm really proud of you. Yes, very for real. Hijiana.

740
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 2: Cat and I've been divorced for two years and I'm

741
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 2: just starting to dip my toe back into dating. I

742
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 2: have two kids, seven and nine, and I'm realizing how

743
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 2: much the dating world has changed since I was last single.

744
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 2: I'm overwhelmed by the apps and I feel like every

745
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 2: guy I meet either once something super casual or is

746
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 2: scared off by the mom label. How do I even

747
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 2: start dating again without feeling like I have to hide

748
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 2: half my life just to get a second date? Is

749
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 2: this just what dating is now? And any advice I'm

750
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 2: where to try and meet someone who isn't scared to

751
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 2: date a single mom. You know this is hard because

752
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 2: I actually have a girlfriend that I walk with sometimes

753
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 2: and she's she's single, she's got two kids, and she

754
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 2: actually just her and her boyfriend had broken up because

755
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 2: he's got kids too, and you know, he's building a

756
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 2: house and he's like, I don't have a room for you.

757
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 3: Guys. And I'm like, what like a oh.

758
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 2: Crushing And she's like and I go listen, someone will

759
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 2: love you and your kids like their own and make

760
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 2: the room the ones that really truly agreed. Yeah, but

761
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 2: is it's such a because you do come as a

762
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 2: package deal, you know, like I remember that same feeling

763
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 2: being you know, datings with you know, single mom and

764
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 2: the kids. It's like it's for those people that didn't

765
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 2: have kids. But it's like these are this is this

766
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 2: is my package. You come with it or you don't,

767
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 2: but I don't. I don't say you hid to. It's

768
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 2: like being a mom is beautiful and embrace it and

769
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 2: the right person will love all of you.

770
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

771
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 4: I think the perspective shift needs to be that you

772
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 4: are trying to find someone that is good enough for you.

773
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't be don't be on the juror be the judge.

774
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 3: That's right. When I can imagine.

775
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: Getting to a point, you know, like I would want

776
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 1: to just say it right away, yeah, I wouldn't even

777
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 1: go on a date with someone if they didn't know. Yeah,

778
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,720
Speaker 1: because at that point, what's the point in getting somewhere

779
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 1: with somebody just for them to say, oh wait, you

780
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:47,440
Speaker 1: have kids.

781
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,799
Speaker 2: I remember when I was doing my Riyah profile, I

782
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 2: had a picture of me and my two kids, and

783
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 2: one of my girlfriends was like, change that.

784
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 3: Immediately.

785
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 2: I was like, but I'm I'm putting it right out

786
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:58,240
Speaker 2: there right now, like I'm a mom.

787
00:34:58,120 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 3: Of two kids. Don't contact me if you don't want to.

788
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 3: I did. I put it as like my second it's

789
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 3: still there.

790
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 1: Though it's still there, but I mean I'll told everybody.

791
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean your uncle away.

792
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 1: Yeah.

793
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 3: Yeah. I just feel like she Yeah.

794
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 4: I love the idea of her walking down and setting

795
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 4: the table and being like, we'll see if this one

796
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 4: makes the cut, instead of her trying to make the

797
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:18,280
Speaker 4: cut for someone.

798
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I like that.

799
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.

800
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 4: Get in there, girl, and the right person is going

801
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 4: to be like I actually love kids.

802
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 3: Amen.

803
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 2: The right one will love every piece of you, that's right.

804
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 2: And he may be in Europe. We want to give

805
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 2: you that disclaim.

806
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's on her seat.

807
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 4: We had a lot of rules when we were dating

808
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:38,800
Speaker 4: here in Hot Girls Summer, and one of them was

809
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 4: we weren't going to go international.

810
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 3: And now look at you, Cramer.

811
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 2: Well, I think one of those things to people are like, oh,

812
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 2: he lives in you know, Dallas or this place. I'm like,

813
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 2: my husband was over Adees, like, if the man wants

814
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:52,839
Speaker 2: to be with you, he's going to be with.

815
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,240
Speaker 3: A will find a way. Yeah.

816
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,799
Speaker 4: I also love a good I mean, listen, you're talking

817
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 4: to the chick that does it alone a lot. But

818
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 4: I love a little space. I think it's lovely to

819
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 4: have your own little.

820
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 3: I do too. Once I get past my three am,

821
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 3: I was like, she really did time. I still do

822
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 3: not used.

823
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 2: To having you know, like Alan, he's usually here, you know. Yeah,

824
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 2: I could get back in the rhythm of it. Anyways,

825
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 2: Love you.

826
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,359
Speaker 3: Guys, Love you. See you next week. Don't scare me again.

827
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:17,879
Speaker 3: I will