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Speaker 1: Scotti Ray, Kurt, I ran out of coffee. I drank

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Speaker 1: a Red Bull for breakfast. I'm riding the bull today.

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Speaker 1: I'm very ready.

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Speaker 2: All right, this man is controlling a robot with his butthole.

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Speaker 1: Hi. Yeah, that's bananas.

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Speaker 2: Do worldstad Would you be your mysillion pieces?

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Speaker 1: Would you.

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Speaker 3: Bana?

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Speaker 2: Banasa ba? Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to Bananas. That's Scottie Landers.

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Speaker 1: That's Kurt Brown Owler my main, dude, How you doing, Kurt.

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Speaker 2: I'm good, Scottie. I'm very excited about our guest today.

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Speaker 2: She's absolutely fantastic. You can watch her new Netflix special

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Speaker 2: Sweet and Salty, or her podcast of Sincerely Fortune Please

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the show Fortune Fimester.

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Speaker 3: Oh my guys, Ah, this is bananas here it is.

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Speaker 2: That's all you do for the rest of the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Every time we say anything, just say this is bananas,

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Speaker 1: and then we'll just do a little SoundBite of just

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Speaker 1: somebody singing bananas.

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Speaker 3: It's perfect because I actually say that that's bananas all

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Speaker 3: the time.

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Speaker 1: Great.

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Speaker 2: We actually had we had Aaron brockovichhn and she said

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Speaker 2: that's bananas. I'm not kidding you. I think two hundred.

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Speaker 4: Wow, she's seen some stuff.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's really been in the trenches.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no kidding, how you been fortune.

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Speaker 3: I've been good, just uh, you know, living life as

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Speaker 3: good as you can mm hmm. Started doing a couple

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Speaker 3: of like, uh, trying to figure my way back into

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Speaker 3: stand up, you know, like this of us doing some

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Speaker 3: virtual things. And I just did two minor league baseball

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Speaker 3: shows or shows at minor league baseball fields, which was awesome.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. That's a great idea. Where where we're

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Speaker 1: back back.

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Speaker 3: In near Charlotte in Columbia, South Carolina. I'm from North Carolina,

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Speaker 3: and I really wanted to go see my mom because

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Speaker 3: it had been ten months since i'd seen her in

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Speaker 3: some of my family and I was like.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna do it.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna get on a plane, I'm gonna wear a

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Speaker 3: hazmut suit and make it happen. And it was so great.

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Speaker 3: It's nice to see everybody and we were all safe.

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Speaker 3: And then I did those shows and it was so fun.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I never ever in a million year

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Speaker 3: as thought I would be on a baseball field doing

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Speaker 3: stand up, but here we are.

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Speaker 2: Were you like on the pictures plate they put.

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Speaker 3: They put like a little stage on home plate and

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Speaker 3: then you know, everybody sat very socially distanced in the

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Speaker 3: stand and they the promoters took it real serious. They

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Speaker 3: were temperature checking everybody and uh, and everyone could sit

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Speaker 3: because we only sold so many tickets because we wanted

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Speaker 3: it to be saved, and they could sit as far

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Speaker 3: apart as they wanted.

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Speaker 4: It was great and you.

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Speaker 2: And you could hear all the laughter, which that's great.

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Speaker 3: For someone who's been yelling at car windows at driving.

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Speaker 4: This was like such a treat.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I just did my first drive and show. Yeah it's

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Speaker 2: different Saturday. Yeah, it's just you're literally just listening for

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Speaker 2: a couple of hots from the back to see if

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Speaker 2: like that new joke works or not.

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Speaker 1: And is that what people do? They honk at you

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Speaker 1: when they that's their laughter, ya.

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Speaker 3: Honk lights or sometimes you can hear the first couple

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Speaker 3: of rows because they roll their windows down.

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Speaker 4: But it's not it's not the same.

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Speaker 2: It's not the same.

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Speaker 4: Now I'm with this baseball field.

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Speaker 3: The laughter it's it almost is it, It almost is

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Speaker 3: trapped in the space.

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Speaker 4: So it all they're sitting for you. It's really nice.

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Speaker 3: I was like I wanted to cry just hearing laughter

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Speaker 3: like that again.

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Speaker 4: I was like, oh my gosh, ah.

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Speaker 1: That's great. This is so cool, amazing, amazing. Yeah, right,

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Speaker 1: I love minor league parks. I remember I had sort

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Speaker 1: of one of those moments in life where you suddenly

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Speaker 1: realize you're getting older at the in Coney Island, they

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Speaker 1: have the Brooklyn Cyclones and their minor league team. It's

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Speaker 1: a really cool stadium, and out front, this is like

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Speaker 1: ten years ago, they had a speed gun. They had

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Speaker 1: like one of those things we could throw a ball,

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Speaker 1: see how fast you can throw it. And I hadn't

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Speaker 1: done that since high school probably, and so it was

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Speaker 1: free or whatever, and we're walking in and it's like,

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Speaker 1: if you throw it over sixty five miles an hour,

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Speaker 1: you get a Cyclones T shirt or whatever it was.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, no sweat, and I like took

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Speaker 1: the ball through it as hard I've ever thrown anything

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Speaker 1: in my life, and it was like fifty five and

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Speaker 1: my arm hurt immediately, like it like rattled down to

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Speaker 1: my wrist, you know, didn't. I played it off and

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Speaker 1: it's like you can go again if you want. That

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Speaker 1: was pretty close, and I was like, nah, I'm good.

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Speaker 1: I was like, that was my greatest effort and then

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Speaker 1: I just turned into an old man and turned into

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Speaker 1: dust and bloom.

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Speaker 4: No T shirt for you.

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Speaker 1: No, Yeah, I just bought a thirty five dollars one

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Speaker 1: and act like I threw it sixty five.

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Speaker 2: So, guys, do you want to hear about this? This

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Speaker 2: man controlling a robot with his bottle.

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Speaker 1: This is more than anything to me.

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Speaker 2: I think he might be this is This was sent

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Speaker 2: in by of course copy Haste. Thank you for sending

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Speaker 2: copy heye sends us so much. Really, guy, yes, go

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Speaker 2: to our instagram the Bananas Podcast send us some crazy news.

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Speaker 1: We please? Oh show. This is from.

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Speaker 2: Vice, written by Samantha Cold doing her best work, living her.

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Speaker 1: Best She's so good.

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Speaker 2: This man is controlling a robot with his butthole. Danny

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Speaker 2: Kloger's Behind performance art installment uses a hacked anal probe

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Speaker 2: to drive a little bot around.

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Speaker 1: With his fainter.

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Speaker 2: So of course he is an artist in the Netherlands.

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Speaker 2: He this is all about like he all, all of

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Speaker 2: his language is about here. I'll read the language. Behind

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Speaker 2: offers a unique Internet of things solution to fully integrate

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Speaker 2: your sphincter muscle in everyday living. The Revolutionary anal electrode

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Speaker 2: powered interface system replaces conventional hand and voice based device

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Speaker 2: interaction and enables advanced digital control rooted in the interiors

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Speaker 2: of your body. Yeah, so, he he, I watched the video.

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Speaker 1: It's true.

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Speaker 2: It's a little it's like this little imagine like a rumba.

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Speaker 2: Then it's got like a cone on top of it,

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Speaker 2: and it has what looks like shit smeared all over

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Speaker 2: smart uh huh.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to gross you guys out, but I'm

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Speaker 3: currently trying to move my butthole.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it doesn't have a lot of range of motion.

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Speaker 1: I think. Yeah, it's like on off. It's like a

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Speaker 1: key goal sort of it. It's like a butt key goal.

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Speaker 1: I'm just yeah, like maybe I could open a bottle

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Speaker 1: of wine with it, but I don't know if I

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Speaker 1: could control or remote control.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like, how do you if you want the robot

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Speaker 4: to turn left?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're all I wish you could see this video.

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Speaker 2: We might have to try and release this video of

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Speaker 2: us trying to turn I'm moving my eyes.

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Speaker 1: And he's Dutch, Kurt, He's from the he's from.

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Speaker 4: A well Like why you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: He said, got your hands full?

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Speaker 2: You know, he's obsessed with this idea. It was inspired

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Speaker 2: by this guy, uh who I remember actually from college.

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Speaker 2: This guy still arc this performance artist who is just

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Speaker 2: like bodies are uh no longer needed. We we can

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Speaker 2: become robots kind of thing, and so he's trying. It's

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Speaker 2: like essentially his version of like in sci fi. It's

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Speaker 2: wet weear, you know, like interacting directly with the body

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Speaker 2: with a robot. But people were asking about how it

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Speaker 2: went over the one up. The upsetting thing is that

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Speaker 2: the robot was projecting on the wall actual video feed

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Speaker 2: from his sphinx, which was is not cool looking.

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Speaker 1: That's eye opening.

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Speaker 3: Is the very specific group of people that are super

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Speaker 3: into that, but it's a small group.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're people who do colinoscopies. That is because it

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Speaker 2: is literally from the inside. It's not the butthole, it

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Speaker 2: is inside. At this champagne fueled butthole show, poker told

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Speaker 2: me that the audience's response were diverse. Quote. There was

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Speaker 2: some unclarity and confusion, he said, somehow product had left

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Speaker 2: the prototyping phase yet or how many had been sold already.

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Speaker 2: An art collector bought one of the vacuum sealed electrodes

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Speaker 2: with feces on it. A few people left because they

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Speaker 2: found it disgusting. Two people wanted to try it themselves

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Speaker 2: after they saw the pitch.

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Speaker 1: Yep, there's always two.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and then they cleaned off the control.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It's apparently like a consumer product, which is called it's

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Speaker 2: a commercially available anal electrode probe device called anu form

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Speaker 2: that's typically to stimulate your anal sphincter muscles and pelvic

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Speaker 2: floor muscles, making them stronger.

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Speaker 1: According to the device sounds to.

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Speaker 2: Follow the contractions of a sphincter muscle and translate to

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Speaker 2: the condemned clans to a small, cute consumer.

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Speaker 1: Robot, the Kicker.

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Speaker 2: It looks like a bulbous ruba rumba.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, I mean I love this guy. If you fart,

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Speaker 1: does the Kicker just go zero to sixty and just

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Speaker 1: ram into the closest wall. That'd be great. You didn't,

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Speaker 1: did you? Oh man? There was an artist years ago.

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Speaker 1: I briefly wrote reviews for horror movies for AMCTV dot

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Speaker 1: com when they would do October like FrightFest or Halloween

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Speaker 1: Nights or whatever it was called. And I found this

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Speaker 1: article about I believe it was a Dutch Yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was a Dutch performance artist who would set up things

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Speaker 1: like you would put a goldfish in a bunch of

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Speaker 1: blenders across the room and then there'd be a switch

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Speaker 1: and you could decide whether to turn it on or

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Speaker 1: off or not. And it was like this big ethical

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Speaker 1: choice and like, would you be willing to kill a fish?

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Speaker 1: And there's always one person that'll do it. That's the

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Speaker 1: thing in life when you said there were two people

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Speaker 1: that wanted there's always somebody in any gallery show that's like,

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Speaker 1: I want the full experiences to do it. But then

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Speaker 1: I think the same guy got in trouble for feeding

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Speaker 1: human flesh to art critics. He invited them all over

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Speaker 1: for dinner and he took LiPo section fat and made

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Speaker 1: like meatballs and fed it to art and it was

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Speaker 1: yeah exactly, and you're like, no, no thanks, I'll stick

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Speaker 1: to the butt keeper please.

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Speaker 2: That's what fortune am I remembering correctly that you did

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Speaker 2: Chelsea Show and you guys all ate a bunch of

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Speaker 2: weed food.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we did.

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Speaker 3: It was right after Chelsea Lately. She did like documentary,

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Speaker 3: a couple of documentaries for Netflix.

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Speaker 1: Which I thought we were pretty good.

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Speaker 3: They were, they were really good, and one was on

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Speaker 3: drugs and uh, they they did ayahuasca, but I just

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Speaker 3: did the weed part where she had a five course

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Speaker 3: meal and all of it, every course was made with marijuana.

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Speaker 1: That seems too many courses.

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Speaker 3: I can tell you from experience, it was like four

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Speaker 3: too many courses.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I would imagine.

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Speaker 4: I well, I was.

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Speaker 3: I had never been funnier in my life, which I

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Speaker 3: liked that, But then but then like an hour, there's

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Speaker 3: only like an hour of that, and then it's nonsense,

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Speaker 3: and then and it's a lot of we were laughing.

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Speaker 3: They cut so much of it. I to this day

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Speaker 3: wish we could have the other footage.

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah, he laughed.

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Speaker 4: Till we like almost puked for so long.

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Speaker 3: But then it just like turned at one point where

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Speaker 3: her friend was like staring into space, like you know,

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Speaker 3: someone was breaking into the house. She was so breaked

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Speaker 3: out she had to go lay down, and then I

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Speaker 3: all of a sudden.

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Speaker 4: Just couldn't walk. I couldn't.

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Speaker 3: I tried to get up, and I couldn't walk. I

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Speaker 3: barely remember the I didn't drive home. I was very responsible.

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Speaker 3: They had someone drive us home. I don't remember anything

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Speaker 3: from the drive home. I vaguely remember getting into my

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Speaker 3: house and then I had enough sense to know like

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Speaker 3: you're useless. Don't text, don't email, don't tweet, just go

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Speaker 3: to bed.

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Speaker 4: And I was tidle like noon the next day.

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Speaker 1: It does not sound like that. Really it turns it.

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Speaker 3: Turned well five courses and you know, I'm not good

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Speaker 3: at like I have no self control with food, and

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Speaker 3: they have like.

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Speaker 4: A really great chef making this food. Oh, shrimp scampy

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Speaker 4: or was like you know, beef tinderloin.

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Speaker 3: It was like it was even like the butter for

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Speaker 3: the role and I and then like the dessert was

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Speaker 3: like bread pudding, and I was like, I can't not

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Speaker 3: eat this, and everybody else was like eating like you know,

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Speaker 3: like a third and I was just like, thy god,

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Speaker 3: they don't put heroin and brownies.

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Speaker 2: It's got to give us another one.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I found this one. This was from this week,

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Speaker 1: and this is from you know Fortune has this God

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Speaker 1: your special Sweet and Salty is so good. I watched

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Speaker 1: a ton of comedy specials because a lot of my

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Speaker 1: friends are comic and it's rare that I laugh out

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Speaker 1: loud when I'm home alone watching them. And there were

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Speaker 1: four or five stories bits that you tell that killed me.

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Speaker 1: One of them is about Hooters. I'm no spoilers, I

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Speaker 1: won't spoil everybody should watch it. But I found this

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Speaker 1: story in your honor. Hooters offers free wings to fifth

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Speaker 1: grader told to remove mask in class. Okay, so this

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Speaker 1: little eleven year old. This is Fox thirty five Orlando.

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Speaker 1: I found this one on my own. Great work. Fox

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Speaker 1: thirty five or Land one of the best news stations

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Speaker 1: in Orlando, hands down. From there, they go places other

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Speaker 1: places are afraid to go, fifth Hooters. Mostly they all

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Speaker 1: go to Hooters. A fifth grade student went viral after

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Speaker 1: school told him not to wear his Hooters face mask

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Speaker 1: in class. This is on zoom. You know they're doing

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Speaker 1: remote learning, and then they offered the entire school free

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Speaker 1: win for every student and staff member. Eleven year old

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Speaker 1: Ian Golba has been wearing a mask from Hooters to

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Speaker 1: class every day since August. He goes to Sunset Park Elementary.

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Speaker 1: The mask just as it's orange and it says Hooters

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Speaker 1: on it. It's not like the owl, and it's not

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Speaker 1: like thew with the big eyes that are there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's no boobies, just the word Hooters. Great word. However,

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Speaker 1: the earliest week, the school's principal told him that it

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Speaker 1: was inappropriate and violates the student Code of Conduct. Now,

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Speaker 1: the reason I picked this story is because the father

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Speaker 1: of Ian, the boy's father disagrees, telling Fox thirty five quote,

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Speaker 1: he told me it seemed defensive. It deemed defensive. I

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Speaker 1: told him we go there as a family. We eat

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Speaker 1: their wings, we watch sports there. I said, we have

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Speaker 1: chocolate cake. We go there all the time. It is

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Speaker 1: not an offensive mask. Now, a lot of people I

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Speaker 1: know people growing up that families would go to Hooters

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Speaker 1: all the time. Fortunate you mentioned this in your story,

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Speaker 1: in your in your set. Uh, it is a family restaurant.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people I love that. The dad exclamation point,

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Speaker 1: I said, we have chocolate cake. Like, how wholesome? How

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Speaker 1: wholesome are.

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Speaker 4: We have chocolate? They are not a titty restaurant.

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Speaker 1: That's right. You can go to a Satanist call, you

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Speaker 1: can watch a Satanist sacrifice. But if they're serving chocolate cake,

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Speaker 1: that's just wholesome.

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Speaker 4: Family chocolate cake.

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Speaker 1: Oh. The dad goes on to say that his son

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Speaker 1: is upset by all the attention. Of course he's eleven.

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Speaker 1: They drew from administrators, stating, quote, he was afraid that

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Speaker 1: he was going to get reprimanded and in trouble and

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Speaker 1: perhaps even suspended from school. I never viewed it as

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Speaker 1: anything but a restaurant. Do we feel women's bodies are offensive?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I do not.

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Speaker 2: This is the author of this that he's taken so

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Speaker 2: many different approaches to making sure that this.

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Speaker 1: Is Yeah, he suddenly got really woke.

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Speaker 2: All the minist approach, he's got the chocolate cake approach.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. The principal told me, uh, equal, this is a

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Speaker 1: Hooter's household, always has been so. After Fox Serry five

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Speaker 1: story about Ian went viral, Hooters offered Ian ten free

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Speaker 1: Hooters hot wings for every student faculty member at his

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Speaker 1: elementary school. And then Hooters blows. They tweet and they

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Speaker 1: their their twitter is hoody and it is the awl Hoody,

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Speaker 1: the Hooters owl and this is what they tweeted. Hey, Ian,

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Speaker 1: what happened is pretty lame. But you're not, and neither

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Speaker 1: are free wings. I mean, come onn let's show your

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Speaker 1: school there's nothing to be ashamed about. How how about

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Speaker 1: this ten free wings? How does ten free wings for

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Speaker 1: every student faculty member sound? And then Ian's father expressed

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Speaker 1: that he will be taking his son back to Hooters.

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Speaker 3: So, man, this is me alf Though I've talked about

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Speaker 3: Hooters on every TV show I've ever been on, I've

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Speaker 3: never gotten ten free wings.

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Speaker 1: It's in the special. It's on fucking Netflix.

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Speaker 4: Come on, Hooters, geez, what.

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Speaker 1: Are we going to be? A fift Fortunes will wear

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Speaker 1: the mask, she will wear the mask.

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Speaker 3: Well, I appreciate that he was trying to wear a mask.

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Speaker 3: I mean, we've been begging people to wear a mask

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Speaker 3: for you know, six months, and I could just see

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Speaker 3: some dad just being like, I don't know, son, you

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Speaker 3: need a mask here?

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Speaker 1: I know this is the only one. Yeah here, here's Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I do think it was.

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Speaker 3: A family restaurant for me, my entire family, because I

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Speaker 3: have two older brothers, and you know, when I was

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00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 3: growing up, Hooters was like a boy's dream and a

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Speaker 3: closet lesbians. We would go, like, my entire family would

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Speaker 3: go to Hooters because you really could. You could because

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Speaker 3: you could just order a big platter of wings and

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Speaker 3: feed a whole family, and we were poor and that

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Speaker 3: wasn't that expensive, and so we were we went, like

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Speaker 3: I think I was my first time there.

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Speaker 2: I was like six, Yeah, of course, yeah, I don't

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Speaker 2: even know if there are there some in LA.

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Speaker 4: There's one Burbank.

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Speaker 1: Oh it's bad. The reviews, the yell reviews for that

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Speaker 1: Burbank one are the greatest comedy written in the last

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00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:45,400
Speaker 1: five years, because everybody in no and they're like the

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00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 1: bathroom smells like how they're like, but then they'll be

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00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,680
Speaker 1: like the food was good. Like it's like people, there's

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Speaker 1: one star.

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Speaker 4: It's good. But like I went to I mean, I

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Speaker 4: still go there.

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Speaker 3: We I did a show in Phoenix and we decided

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00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:05,200
Speaker 3: to drive out there in staid a fly and we

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00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 3: went to the Hooters in Phoenix.

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Speaker 4: And it was popping. We got it.

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Speaker 3: We were like, we gotta get our food to go

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00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,960
Speaker 3: because there's too many people just willy nilly hanging out

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Speaker 3: in the Hooters right now and during a pandemic.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I was dating somebody when I was living

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Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, and when we broke up, she moved back

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Speaker 1: to where she was from. And the only reason I'm

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00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,880
Speaker 1: not saying the state is because I remember the name

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Speaker 1: of my server. So I drove, I drove my then

375
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend's car back down to where she was from

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00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 1: and then flew back to New York. And so my

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00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,640
Speaker 1: flight was later that day, so I checked into a hotel.

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00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 1: The hotel's restaurant was a Hooters. So I'm like, honestly,

379
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 1: this is hilarious. I have to go do this. So

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00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 1: I go in and I sit at the bar, and

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00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,919
Speaker 1: I'm sad, like I'm not feeling great. I'm not feeling

382
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 1: like the unchained. I'm like, oh, this sucks. The bartender's

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00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,920
Speaker 1: name is Brooklyn. I lived in Brooklyn. I sit there.

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00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 1: She couldn't be nicer. She was hired for the right reasons,

385
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 1: and she's super sweet and great server. And so I

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00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 1: order a couple beers and I'm drinking and she's like,

387
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 1: where are you from? And I'm like, I'm from Brooklyn.

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00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,720
Speaker 1: She goes, no, shit, that's crazy, blah blah blah. And

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00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,159
Speaker 1: she's like, what do you do And I'm like, well,

390
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 1: I write comedy on TV and I write horror movies.

391
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 1: And she's like, you write scary movies. I said yes.

392
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 1: She goes, I don't understand why you would ever do that.

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00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 1: And I go and I go out, Yes, she goes,

394
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 1: I think you might as well just welcome Satan directly

395
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 1: into your soul. I don't even watch horror movies andres

396
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 1: I think so, so I go, oh, well, I think

397
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 1: they're actually really fun, and like they're the only thing

398
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 1: that you can, like you can walk away from a

399
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,880
Speaker 1: horror movie and come back and still have a great time.

400
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,959
Speaker 1: You can miss some story and still get the thrills,

401
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 1: and it's like it's just fun. And she turned on me.

402
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 1: She was just she literally said that, like it's inviting

403
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,120
Speaker 1: Satan into your soul. I think it's evil. I think

404
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 1: people that look for evil find evil. And so she

405
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 1: kind of gives it to me, and she wasn't like

406
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: go to hell, but she was just like, you're crazy.

407
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 1: And then it was somebody's birthday and Brooklyn, who just

408
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 1: gave me hell, pours two pictures of beer. She walks around,

409
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 1: she's behind me, and everybody's clapping and cheering. She turns

410
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 1: a barstool upside down, straddles it, and then rotates her

411
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 1: hips like a hula hoop and does a three sixty

412
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,160
Speaker 1: on the top of the barstool while holding two pictures

413
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 1: of beer. And then after the full three sixty and

414
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: then singing and clapping, she pours the beers and I'm like,

415
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 1: this was the great I felt like I was converted. Yeah,

416
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 1: I started going to church. I was born again at

417
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 1: that moment. It was amazing. It was amazing.

418
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody's everyone has their cross to beer.

419
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 2: Are you guys ready for another one?

420
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 4: Yeah? This is bananas.

421
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 1: There it is.

422
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 2: You only got one and ninety eight more to go

423
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:10,880
Speaker 2: to catch up.

424
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 4: I want to catch up to Aaron.

425
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 2: This was This was sent sent in by Atmatt dot

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00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 2: TeV dot A's on Instagram.

427
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: Thank you, Matt.

428
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 2: This is the title of This is from the New

429
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 2: York Post, written by Sarah Stewart. Meet New York's beloved

430
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 2: mass transit bandit.

431
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 1: Uh.

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00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 2: This is a companion story to a story we told

433
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 2: a couple episodes ago about tramboyd Remember tram boy Scottie

434
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 2: and Oh I.

435
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 1: Love famous tram boy stole a tram.

436
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:50,879
Speaker 2: Fifteen year old in Melbourne. Who's who stole a tram

437
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 2: and then drove it just along its route picking up

438
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,120
Speaker 2: pasture is very safely.

439
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 1: For like three hours.

440
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:57,160
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

441
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a fifteen year old boy. He had met everything.

442
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 2: How to drive the tram is kind of difficult. Well,

443
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 2: this is that kid grown up?

444
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 1: This man? Okay.

445
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 2: New York subway system drives many of us crazy. But

446
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 2: for one it's a lifelong love affair. Okay, but for

447
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 2: one man, it's a lifelong love affair. He's willing to

448
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 2: go to prison for over and over and over. Rikers

449
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 2: Island Convictarius McCollum, known as the Train Bandit, has been

450
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 2: arrested thirty two times for impersonating transit employees, stealing trains

451
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:31,439
Speaker 2: and buses and.

452
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 1: Driving their roots.

453
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 2: Yes, complete with making safety announcements and passenger stuff.

454
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 4: They should just give him a job.

455
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 2: Yes, no hitting. This is so he's He has been

456
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 2: diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and McCollum, whose autism fuels his

457
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,679
Speaker 2: obsession with transit, is awaiting sentencing later this month for

458
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 2: taking a Greyhound bus from Port Authority for a twenty

459
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,360
Speaker 2: four hour ride until he was a in Brooklyn. It's

460
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 2: a crime for which he faces a sentence up to

461
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,400
Speaker 2: fifteen years.

462
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 4: Too sound.

463
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 1: Nor shit.

464
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 2: The fifty one year old has already spent eighteen years

465
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 2: of his life cumulatively behind bars for his deftly executed capers,

466
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 2: in which he's worn purloined MTA uniforms and falsified IDs

467
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 2: to drive trains and buses as if he were a

468
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 2: paid employee.

469
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, I mean so there's.

470
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:35,360
Speaker 4: A I'd be more like concerned if he wasn't driving.

471
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 2: Them, well right, yeah, sure no, but.

472
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 4: He's doing it. He was doing a good job. He's

473
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 4: like giving these people a break.

474
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 2: He's probably doing a better job than a person who's

475
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 2: bored with their job because he's so psyched to.

476
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 3: Be and people with aspergs have very specific skills and

477
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,120
Speaker 3: they're like insanely good at those skills.

478
00:25:55,920 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 2: Yes, apparently he had memorized all of the MTA system,

479
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 2: like all of the buses and the subways by age eight,

480
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 2: which is thousands, thousands of stuff. Yeah, and so so

481
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 2: he has there's a documentary about him.

482
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: This this article is from twenty sixteen.

483
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,360
Speaker 2: This documentary about him that came out in twenty sixteen

484
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 2: called Off the Rails, and they're essentially like trying to

485
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 2: get him. Essentially, the argument on the on the of

486
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 2: the documentary is that, like, this guy should not be

487
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 2: put in jail for doing this, He should be given

488
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:37,119
Speaker 2: a job because of his asperger something about that. The

489
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 2: MTA continually says like it's a legal liability and they

490
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 2: can't give him.

491
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 1: A job, which is so crazy.

492
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 2: But he just is the nicest man who fucking loves trains.

493
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 2: He's banana.

494
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure. I mean, like, yeah, year get we

495
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 1: need this guy.

496
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 2: I don't want to know, not at all. I think

497
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 2: he's still awaiting. I looked up his Wikipedia and his

498
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 2: Wikipedia wasn't super updated.

499
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 1: Let's do it. Anybody could adjust Wikipedia.

500
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 4: At least it's not he's.

501
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,199
Speaker 3: You know, you hear those stories about every now and

502
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 3: then someone takes a plane for a joy ride.

503
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 4: That's a little bit more insane to me.

504
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 2: Right because the landing of parks.

505
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, going up.

506
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 4: But okay, I.

507
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 1: Was on an Amtrak from New York to Baltimore to

508
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: visit my folks, and it's something was in the track

509
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 1: and it was an excella and I was sitting across

510
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: from h Gail King. Is that her name's yes? Yeah, yeah,

511
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:52,360
Speaker 1: so Gail is directly across from me. And I always

512
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: liked in New York. And I think people say this

513
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 1: about New York that like celebrities can kind of not

514
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: get bothered. Famous people can kind of live a little

515
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 1: you know, paparazzi still exists and stuff, but overall New

516
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: Yorker's kind of leave people alone. So this whole ride

517
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, nobody's commenting, and I could tell a

518
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 1: couple of people recognized her, and I remember Gail being

519
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: pretty tall, like a pretty tall woman. So the train stops.

520
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,360
Speaker 1: Somebody had thrown something on the tracks, and we stopped

521
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:22,919
Speaker 1: somewhere and they were like, there's we're gonna bring in

522
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 1: a train up on the other track. Everybody on this

523
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 1: train's gonna have to disbar. This is after like forty

524
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: five minutes of sitting there. Everybody's bothered, and I just

525
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 1: kept thinking like, wow, this is so nice that everybody's

526
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,400
Speaker 1: leaving everybody alone, or that lame thing where people take

527
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: that kind of opportunity to strike up a conversation, being like, wow,

528
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 1: this is nuts. I know exactly who you are. So

529
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: the other train arrives and the captain's like, okay, we're

530
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: gonna do a car by car. We're gonna get off

531
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: and you're gonna cross and get on. And this woman

532
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 1: who was on a different car had walked up and

533
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 1: she sees Gail and she goes, hey, everyone, it's Oprah's

534
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 1: friend Gail.

535
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 2: It's Gail.

536
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: Hi Gail, and every and Gail's like, hi, how are you?

537
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: And I qult so bad like then we go out

538
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 1: on the platform to switch and this woman's like wow,

539
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 1: Oprah's friend And this was like a six year old

540
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: woman just blowing up her privacy. It was so cruel.

541
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 1: It was like leave people alone. She doesn't. She's going

542
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: to Baltimore. No, there's nothing great waiting for you.

543
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, rest that woman, not this guys.

544
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 1: She goes to jail for eighteen years.

545
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:38,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, takes spot. Oh man, I love having it. I

546
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 2: loved I love the idea of having an obsession that you're.

547
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 4: Just he drove just to trains or buses too.

548
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 2: He has driven everything trains and buses, Greyhound bus. Recently

549
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 2: he's goten MTA buses. But he always drives the route.

550
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 4: Yeah you know what I mean exactly.

551
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, he knows exactly when where to stop. And everything's

552
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 2: really announcements.

553
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 3: To like to have already been arrested thirty two times,

554
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,719
Speaker 3: eighteen years, told like off and on of jail.

555
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 4: You love it that much, You're.

556
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 2: Just like it's yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy that there's

557
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 2: not one sane person at the MTA who's like.

558
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: He gets to work here.

559
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, let's work at the MTA Museum in Penn

560
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 2: Station do you know what I mean? Where he knows

561
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 2: everything already, so you can just like tell people about the.

562
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 1: Daha, yes, Or give him one day a month where

563
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: you put you put a supervisor and then a bodybuilder

564
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: in then and he's allowed to drive, and if he

565
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 1: gets a little squirrely, the bodybuilder physically picks him up

566
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 1: and carries him off the train and the supervisor finishes around.

567
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: Just let him have it.

568
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 3: Wait, you guys want us to create a job once

569
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 3: a month just so this guy can have a joy ride.

570
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: And the MT is like we raise the price of

571
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 1: metro cards every month. Anyway, when Kurt, Kurt, how much

572
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 1: was an unlimited monthly metro pass when you moved to

573
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,239
Speaker 1: New York? I think it was sixty bucks? Yeah, when

574
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 1: I moved it was seventy six and when I left

575
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: it was one hundred and thirty one. And it was unlimited,

576
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 1: but only up to so many rocks. It was unlimited,

577
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: but limited.

578
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it was unlimited if you're then capping it.

579
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 3: If you're limited it, I've had you hear that.

580
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:26,719
Speaker 1: Let it ride? All right?

581
00:31:26,920 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 2: With that, let's take a little break.

582
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: And we are back.

583
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 2: Guys, Thank you so much for listening. To Anas and

584
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 2: a reminder that we have minisodes available every other Thursday

585
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 2: on stitch your premium and if you guys want if

586
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 2: you're not a Stitcher Premium member, you can always go

587
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 2: to stitcher dot com slash Bananas get your first month

588
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 2: three free so you can hear all of our minisodes

589
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 2: and also everything on exactly right with no ads, So

590
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 2: go check that out. Go to the Bananas podcast on

591
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 2: Instagram as well, and say hi to us. And call

592
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 2: Scottie on the Banana phone.

593
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: He was two and three seven nine seven four and

594
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: today I had I had fourteen calls before eight am,

595
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 1: and I had forgotten to turn the phone off. So

596
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 1: I was up at six point fifty answering the Banana

597
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 1: phone and this voice was two or three deeper uh.

598
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 1: And the first guy goes, oh, dude, what time is it.

599
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 1: I go six fifty. He's like, I'm so sorry, man,

600
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 1: And I was like, I forgot to turn it off.

601
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 1: It's all good. What do you want to talk about?

602
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 1: He's like, I was just gonna leave a voicemail. I

603
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 1: like the podcast.

604
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 4: You have respectful fans.

605
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 1: Oh, they're the politest, best fans in the world. They're

606
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 1: murdering no ban animals. They came from my favorite murder

607
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: and where we make them giggle. I got one for you, guys,

608
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 1: great fortune. Sometimes these stories just they tickle me as

609
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 1: I go. So forgive me if I just start.

610
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 4: Laughing for you may.

611
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, everybody. Everybody rewind that thirty seconds and listen

612
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 1: to that again. John gets and sent us this on Instagram.

613
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 1: Thank you John. This was from The Guardian. No writer

614
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 1: should be because it's awesome. Man denized turning uh Man

615
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 1: denies turning his house into a restaurant despite giant neon

616
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: sign outside.

617
00:33:56,480 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 3: He's like, hey, if psychics can do it.

618
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 1: Okay, this the details alone. A man has denied claims

619
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 1: he's turned his Norwich home into a restaurant despite having

620
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 1: a neon sign over the front door. When you walk

621
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 1: down Earlham Road in Norwich, you might be forgiven for

622
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 1: doing a double take and wondering whether there's a restaurant

623
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:23,359
Speaker 1: nestled among the houses of the peaceful city street. That's

624
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 1: because Jesus, that's because one of the properties has a

625
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 1: rather unmissible neon sign hanging above the front door, which

626
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 1: which says Orlando's okay, so the owner, but the owner

627
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 1: Orlando Williams in sists he hasn't turned his seven bedroom

628
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 1: country house into a Japanese restaurant.

629
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 4: I wasn't Japanese.

630
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 2: I was not expecting it's Florida sushi.

631
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 4: He could have been oh that.

632
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know, just on a regular country road.

633
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 1: So he denies turning out a Japanese restaurant, despite his

634
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: neighbor's claims to the contrary. People living on the residential

635
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 1: street have told the Norwich City Council that mister Williams

636
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 1: has been running a restaurant in his home since October

637
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen. They claim he has been doing so without

638
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 1: proper pression. We will post this photo. I mean this

639
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 1: sign is not a little it's not an open sign.

640
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: It is probably ten feet wide. Yelp, it's gotta be

641
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 1: I mean, Katie, here, we go.

642
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 2: Look it up and see if Orlando's on Yelp, please.

643
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: It keeps going. Subsequently, the Council has been forced to

644
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: investigate the property over the discovery of whether or not

645
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:55,359
Speaker 1: he is breaching planning regulation. Williams, that's Orlando who used

646
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 1: to run a different Japanese restaurant on Bear Street in Norwich.

647
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,720
Speaker 1: Did not Is that he has done anything wrong. Speaking

648
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 1: to the press, Williams says, quote, all I do I

649
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 1: have my name on my house? All I do? I

650
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 1: have my name on my house?

651
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 4: All I do?

652
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: All I do I have my name on my house?

653
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 4: People out here waiting for a table?

654
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: Yes, he added, there is no restaurant here end quote.

655
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 2: There is no restaurant. I have a sign that says

656
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 2: my name out front. I give people food. There's menus.

657
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 2: It is not a restaurant.

658
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 4: They venmo me.

659
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:38,760
Speaker 1: Oh, guys, get ready. As well as having a neon

660
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 1: sign on the front of the premises, the word Sakura

661
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,759
Speaker 1: is also written on the door, which was the name

662
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:50,320
Speaker 1: of his previous restaurant business. A Facebook account for Sakora

663
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: Japanese still exists and now features an Earlham Road address

664
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 1: which matches that of Orlando Host. To fuel the fire

665
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: even more, a different Facebook post from October suggests that

666
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:15,360
Speaker 1: Orlando's is a Japanese barbecue and sushi restaurants. The Norwich

667
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 1: City Council has reportedly visited the property several times, but

668
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,439
Speaker 1: has not been able to fully determine whether it's being

669
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 1: used to it's a restaurant yet. A woman shared a

670
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 1: photo of a leaflet advertising the eatery, writing quote, Hey

671
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:35,319
Speaker 1: beautiful people, come visit Orlandos open every day from four

672
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 1: to ten, located on Erlwitch Road, Norwich, Earlham Roads. I mean,

673
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: how can't they figure it? Show up any day between

674
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: four and ten and ask for a table. The North

675
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 1: Cedal Council says they are continuing continuing to look into

676
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 1: the issue.

677
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 3: It is bonkers or bananas that they cannot get to

678
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 3: the bottom of this. That seems like how are people

679
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 3: being served food? And yet no one who matters in

680
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 3: this regard can catch him in the act.

681
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 4: Does he have like a secret bookcase that's like he

682
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:15,280
Speaker 4: hit the right button in the you know, bachi pops

683
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 4: up a bookcase.

684
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

685
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 2: When somebody comes in asks for a table, they're like,

686
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 2: you have to tell me if you work for the

687
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 2: Norwich City Council. Yeah, that's a requirement from the North

688
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:27,839
Speaker 2: if you get out of the city country, you have

689
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 2: to say if you want like you have to say,

690
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 2: I wish.

691
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 4: We could hear from people that have eaten there.

692
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 1: Yes, fortunately, someone please go and eat it. Orlando ban Animals.

693
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 1: This is the only restaurant I want to eat. After

694
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 1: the Great quar is over I want to be. And

695
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 1: his name is Orlando Williams. He's British and he has

696
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 1: a Japanese barbecue sushi restaurant. It is flawless. I can't

697
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: wait for y'all to look at our Instagram and see

698
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: this photo. It is. He is fla gripped. This is

699
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:56,800
Speaker 1: not subtle.

700
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,400
Speaker 4: God, imagine living in his neighborhood.

701
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:02,359
Speaker 3: Just been like, there's I'm just trying to tell you, guys,

702
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,279
Speaker 3: there's a restaurant next.

703
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 2: If you have, like your neighbor just started a restaurant,

704
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 2: it would very clear to be able to determine. I

705
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 2: remember in New Orleans and I want I'm saying this

706
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 2: on the podcast because I want to find this place

707
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 2: again and I've never been able to find it. I

708
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,919
Speaker 2: went there once one trip, maybe ten years ago, twelve

709
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 2: years ago, No, it was longer, maybe twenty years ago,

710
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:28,320
Speaker 2: two New Orleans, and it was a Poe Boy place

711
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 2: that was in someone's house and I think it was

712
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 2: way down on Magazine Street. It is the best Poe

713
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 2: Boy I've ever had in my entire life. I think

714
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 2: about it every time I have a sandwich. And it

715
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:44,320
Speaker 2: was literally just like once a day at a house

716
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 2: with a lawn and you would walk up the lawn

717
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 2: and it didn't look like a restaurant at all. And

718
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 2: then you would open the door and then inside like

719
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 2: where the living room should be, was like just a

720
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 2: fucking sandwich shop.

721
00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 4: Wow.

722
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 2: And it was There was no sign, nothing like that.

723
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 2: It was And that's why I feel so mysterious. If

724
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,280
Speaker 2: anyone from New Orleans knows what I'm talking about, please

725
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 2: hit me up. I want to go back.

726
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, yeah what I was they had just converted

727
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 3: to some house into a restaurant, and I.

728
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,760
Speaker 4: Was like, yeah, okay, sure.

729
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 3: I mean it was like at the cusp of like

730
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 3: where there was another restaurant and then residential areas, so

731
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 3: they I think just hit the cutoff. But it would

732
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 3: be weird to be the neighbor where we're like, you know,

733
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 3: the backyard, everyone's dining and you're like, you're trying to

734
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 3: have a family barbecue.

735
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're having a Kinsiniera and Orlando's over there rolling

736
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 1: an egg with a spatula. Fortune. What is does Charlotte

737
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 1: have a that does that area have a specific food?

738
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 1: I know North Carolina is good barbecue, but is there

739
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 1: any local thing there that you're known.

740
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 3: For biscuits, barbecue lot. I mean, North Carolina really is

741
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:02,240
Speaker 3: the barbecue state. A different kind of barbecue than like Texas.

742
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 3: It's all like pulled port kind of stuff. And it's

743
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:11,320
Speaker 3: the east coast. Eastern part is vinegar, the western parts

744
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 3: like a smoke worry cue sauce. And then we're just

745
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:21,799
Speaker 3: mainly known for fried food, any any vegetable fry and

746
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 3: dunket and ranch. That's what we're known about. I'm just

747
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 3: known for being fatty fat fats.

748
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:31,240
Speaker 1: I have a ranch story. I'll finish on a ranch story.

749
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,439
Speaker 1: Since you brought you have a lot of food today, Kurt.

750
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 1: We're doing a lot of food stories. Oh yeah, you

751
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: have any Do you have any other food stores? You

752
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 1: have non food stores? I have something that's used to

753
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 1: be a food store.

754
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 4: We started with food.

755
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:46,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, so let's come out the mouth.

756
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 2: This is maybe I went to too much butt, but

757
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 2: there's never much but constipated woman lost ten years of

758
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 2: memory after straining high on toilet.

759
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 4: No, let's go on.

760
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 2: This is This is totally true because I saw it

761
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:15,399
Speaker 2: in multiple multiple places. But of course I chose as

762
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 2: mine the Mirror UK because the best UK. This was

763
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 2: sent in by at Jackie Khaki Jackie Kaki from Instagram.

764
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 1: There's no no one wrote this. It's just by.

765
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 4: People their byelines on these pieces of artwork here.

766
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 1: People nobody wants to admit.

767
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 4: I didn't write this.

768
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 2: The best part about like, the best part also about

769
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 2: this is that because it's the mirror, it's just like

770
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 2: it's a funny story. But then it's they have to

771
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 2: make it more trashy by the stock photo they chose

772
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 2: of a woman pantsless and and then she has like

773
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 2: a tank top on with no bra, and it just

774
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 2: sure the constipation story doesn't need the sexy photo.

775
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: Guys, Yeah, I'm turned on already.

776
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 2: We don't need this sexy phoo. I'm already there. A

777
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 2: consumpated woman lost more than ten years of memories that

778
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 2: after straining too hard on the toilet. It is claimed

779
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 2: the anonymous woman had a quote mental blackout because of constipation.

780
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,280
Speaker 2: According to reports from Hong Kong. The China Post claims

781
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 2: the woman forgot a decade of her life for an

782
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 2: eight hour period after struggling on the toilet. Her memory

783
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 2: returned after an overnight stay in the hospital, although she

784
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 2: still cannot remember the eight hours after her visit to

785
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:49,320
Speaker 2: the laboratory neurologist doctor Peng Jiangzhong. I'm sorry if I

786
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:55,240
Speaker 2: messaged her to reporters. Repooters reporters that the woman suffered

787
00:43:55,280 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 2: from a transient global amnesia mysterious condition resulting sudden memory

788
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 2: LOSSOW cut off blood to her brain.

789
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 4: Ten years, and I wonder how they determined ten years.

790
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 3: You know where You're like, yeah.

791
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 4: Well, I can't remember anything from college. Let's go back.

792
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 1: Uh, what was the last movie you saw? Batman Begins

793
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 1: last night. I don't know if that's yeah, wow, So

794
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 1: it was from the strain.

795
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 2: Just cut off the blood, it's gone. And also I

796
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:39,840
Speaker 2: was when I first saw the story, I was like,

797
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 2: I'm not We're not doing this one. I was like,

798
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 2: We're not doing this one. It's just it's too much

799
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 2: potty humor. And then I have not stopped thinking about

800
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,239
Speaker 2: this woman since I saw this.

801
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 1: For months.

802
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 2: I've been like, this, that is a crazy that's.

803
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 3: A major constipation strained to trigger.

804
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,719
Speaker 2: Such memory loss unbearable.

805
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 3: She still I don't remember the eight hours following well,

806
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:08,280
Speaker 3: I passed.

807
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 1: Out, probably for the best, well weirdly, and ran a marathon.

808
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 1: You floated around the room for a little while.

809
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:21,439
Speaker 4: I became an internet meme.

810
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's wild though, Like you also hope that she

811
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 1: forgot something bad like in this A lot of bad

812
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 1: stuff can happen in ten years. Like the bad example

813
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 1: would be like what if this had happened and she

814
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 1: forgot nine to eleven? She just forgot or like this

815
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,880
Speaker 1: year has been so crazy and it's like, oh, I

816
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:46,360
Speaker 1: have no recollection of COVID at all, Like she forgot me.

817
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: If she really lost ten years of memory, like she

818
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 1: might be living a happier life. I don't know if

819
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 1: it's not necessarily.

820
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 4: She's like, can I remember up to the housing crisis?

821
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: Oh? Man, that's nuts.

822
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:09,959
Speaker 3: Well, at least she got it back now she remembers

823
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 3: all the all good and bad that's happened in the

824
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 3: last ten years.

825
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:17,480
Speaker 1: Thank god, thank you, Okay, I can ratch it up.

826
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 1: Story last story. This was sent in today by a

827
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: ton of our lovely ban animals. The first I saw

828
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:30,840
Speaker 1: was Melissa Albits on Instagram. Thank you so much. Also,

829
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 1: my good friend who listens to the pod, Eden Dranger,

830
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 1: sent this in so thank you Edin. This is from

831
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 1: the witchital Eagle, written by Jason Tidd, the best in

832
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 1: the biz. Jason tells US Kansas City, Kansas teen taken

833
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 1: into custody after covering himself in ranch, damaging property, and

834
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:57,320
Speaker 1: crashing a car. Yes, I love them. The Rube Goldberg

835
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 1: ones are the killers for me. The things that just

836
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:02,760
Speaker 1: set off things are the best. So a teenage boy

837
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:07,319
Speaker 1: who is naked and covered in ranch dressing crashed a

838
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 1: vehicle out of Kansas gas station early Saturday morning. The

839
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 1: disturbance was reported around three point thirty am. Shockingly at

840
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 1: Petro Deli convenience store in Shawnee County, Kansas. Who a

841
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 1: vacation destination for the whole family. A seventh quote the

842
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 1: Sheriff's office says a seventeen year old male was naked

843
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: and under the influence of a substance. He covered himself.

844
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:37,320
Speaker 1: So this kid enters the store naked, covers himself in

845
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: ranch dressing, damaged property inside the business, runs outside, jumps

846
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 1: into a running vehicle, and crashes into a nearby pillar.

847
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 2: That drug, I bet you that drug starts with m

848
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 2: and at eight marijuana.

849
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. He was taken to a local hospital and later

850
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:03,440
Speaker 1: released to his parents, which you know must have been fun. Uh.

851
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: The criminal aspects of the incident are under investigation and

852
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:11,040
Speaker 1: we are happy to report that no one was injured

853
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 1: during this incident.

854
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 4: They're like, we feel like we need to charge them

855
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:16,319
Speaker 4: with something, but we don't know what.

856
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:25,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess three bucks for the ranch and uh.

857
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, you smell like ranch. Again.

858
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 1: It is a shame so in the pit.

859
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,800
Speaker 2: But what the bigger question is is in this petrol deli,

860
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,919
Speaker 2: there's just a tub of ranch that's available to him.

861
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 4: Could be he got a bottle and like.

862
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, yeah, back to that hidden valley weird ranchers.

863
00:48:57,680 --> 00:48:59,879
Speaker 1: If he yelled I'm Hooters. It's a shame they don't

864
00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:01,840
Speaker 1: have name too. I like names so much, but I

865
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,839
Speaker 1: just know in this county in Kansas, for this kid,

866
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:08,160
Speaker 1: he must have just had just an absolutely sterling name,

867
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:11,399
Speaker 1: like it must have been sensational. And uh, I'm sure

868
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,520
Speaker 1: his parents yelled at loudly when they picked him up

869
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 1: from the hospital. Scooter Fabian Scooter.

870
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 3: It is funny to me when people take these kind

871
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 3: of drugs by themselves, Yeah, where they're just like, well

872
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 3: let's just see what happens, uh tonight tonight.

873
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,239
Speaker 2: Or it's like he's the last one left, you know

874
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 2: what I mean. There was like four of them and

875
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 2: three of them have gone to bed, and he's like,

876
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 2: I'm going pour myself, pour ranch on myself at the deli.

877
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I wonder if he was overheating. That's kind

878
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 1: of what I thought when I first read it, Like

879
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 1: the way like if you eat spicy chicken wings and

880
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 1: you dunk them in ranch to cool it down. I

881
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 1: wonder if he was like one hundred and two meth

882
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 1: fever and just was like, I need to cool this

883
00:49:56,320 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 1: body down. Now, let's have Petro and also I bet

884
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 1: and play. I've never been to this Petro deli, but

885
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 1: three point thirty? What else is open? I mean, maybe

886
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 1: you get a huddle house if you're lucky. But dear Lord,

887
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:15,320
Speaker 1: oh yeah, Scooter Fabian. We're gonna say it's Scooter Fabian,

888
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 1: our new fake intern.

889
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:20,960
Speaker 2: Where's your go to when you're on the road. Where's

890
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 2: your go to for food after a show?

891
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 1: Oh gosh?

892
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 3: I mean if I'm doing a club, I'm just like,

893
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 3: can you wrap me up some chicken wings or a

894
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 3: burger to go?

895
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:31,880
Speaker 4: Uh?

896
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 3: Chili's is probably my go to because it's an easy one.

897
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 3: But before a show, I'll try to if I'm not

898
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 3: eating after, I try to ask the locals. Where is

899
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:48,360
Speaker 3: the place to go? Oh God, because I'm like, I

900
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:52,320
Speaker 3: want to dig into whatever garbage food.

901
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 1: It's always garbage too.

902
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's no place where they're our specialty is a

903
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:02,319
Speaker 2: kale sound. It's always like, our specialty is just a

904
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 2: pile of dog food that then we dump cheese on

905
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 2: and we deep fried in this trash cab.

906
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 3: It's crazy, and you definitely learned that food is subjective

907
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 3: to not just a butthole art, but yeah.

908
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 4: Yeah food as well.

909
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, this place is disgusting and there's like

910
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:23,920
Speaker 3: a line out the door. And then other times you

911
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 3: get some real gems where you're like, this is the

912
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:28,280
Speaker 3: greatest restaurant I've ever been to my life.

913
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 4: Why can't there be in lam?

914
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:35,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. And sometimes it's like when you're visiting

915
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 1: and you want the local tip. A lot of times

916
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:42,200
Speaker 1: you'll ask somebody and I fail to remember, like, hey,

917
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,040
Speaker 1: when you're living somewhere, you're just eating where you like

918
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 1: to eat. Yeah, you're going to Chili's, You're going to

919
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 1: apple Bee's, you're going to wherever the localist. So I've

920
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: asked people and I've been like, what's good to eat

921
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 1: around here? And I was in Birmingham and I expected

922
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:55,839
Speaker 1: them to tell me some barbecue joint or something, and

923
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 1: the concierge, the clerk at the hotel was like, oh,

924
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 1: there's a cheesecake factory. And I was like, you know

925
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 1: what works for me? That is my go to. I

926
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:07,000
Speaker 1: love a cheesecake factory.

927
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 3: That a twenty page billie that ruins it by telling

928
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:12,000
Speaker 3: you how many calories is in each thing.

929
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:16,320
Speaker 2: They like they now have like a reduced calorie page

930
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:18,880
Speaker 2: that you can get, which is everything on the menu,

931
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 2: but it's just half the calories and they just give you.

932
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:22,879
Speaker 1: Half the order.

933
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:26,799
Speaker 3: I'm like, don't tell me the avocado rolls are two

934
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:27,880
Speaker 3: thousand calories.

935
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 4: I thought I was healthy.

936
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 1: As a starter as a It's a healthy fat, I know.

937
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 1: And it's so fun there. Decor is insane. It's like

938
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 1: Egypt movie theater in the nineteen ninety five and that's

939
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:50,400
Speaker 1: my favorite. That was. Uh, there's one in the Glendale

940
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 1: at the Americana, and there was a two year period

941
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 1: where I would only take work drinks there. So I

942
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 1: started it with Memory Heart Fortune. I don't know if

943
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:01,120
Speaker 1: you know Amory, but she was a guest on the

944
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 1: show too. Yeah, North Carolina girl from Booneville and we

945
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 1: would drink there and then I just found it the

946
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,120
Speaker 1: funniest place to tell people to meet me. And then

947
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 1: the americanas great parking, so everybody would be like, this

948
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 1: is actually really fun. And then I would start to

949
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:19,080
Speaker 1: see people taking work drinks and lunches at that. It's

950
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 1: so like there's a post irony to life where you

951
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 1: just go, actually, I really like this and this is

952
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:24,799
Speaker 1: a really good time.

953
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:30,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm such trash that There's an even nicer version

954
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 3: of the cheesecake factory called the Grand Lux. And there

955
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 3: used to be one in LA and it was the

956
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:40,680
Speaker 3: same de core, but it's supposed to be even fancier,

957
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 3: even fancier.

958
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:46,879
Speaker 1: Than the fact there's one.

959
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,640
Speaker 3: There's one in Vegas, I think, and one in Chicago.

960
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 3: The LA would shut down and it was the saddest

961
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 3: day of my life. And anytime I'm in Chicago, Jackson'll

962
00:53:57,560 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 3: be like, where you know, Chicago is like the greatest food.

963
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 4: In the Like, where do you want to go on

964
00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:03,400
Speaker 4: the Grand Lux?

965
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:09,360
Speaker 1: I just recorded my Netflix special We're going to the

966
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 1: Grand Lux.

967
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 2: It sounds it just means like big, beautiful, big, expensive.

968
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:22,560
Speaker 1: And if the one in Vegas isn't attached to a casino.

969
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:25,560
Speaker 1: If it is attached to a casino, they should have

970
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 1: cocktail waitresses that bring you slices of cheesecake when you're

971
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:32,320
Speaker 1: playing table games, like you can only drink so much

972
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:35,359
Speaker 1: if they brought you a little slice of cheesecake, I'd

973
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,360
Speaker 1: be like, here, here's a chip one bucke.

974
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:42,840
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for that, well, fortune, thank you

975
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 2: so much for coming on the show. Do you have

976
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 2: anything you want to plug? No?

977
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 3: I mean this is such a trado. It's so fun

978
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,960
Speaker 3: to talk to you guys and laugh. I think that's

979
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 3: the most important right now, is just laughing.

980
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 1: You.

981
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:58,160
Speaker 4: Check out my Netflix special Sweet and Salty. That's Oh.

982
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:00,719
Speaker 4: We do have a movie coming out, Chick Fight.

983
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 3: It's kind of out on video on demand and then

984
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:06,760
Speaker 3: I think it will stream somewhere. But it's a Malin

985
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:11,880
Speaker 3: Ackerman Alec Baldwin. It's basically a female fight club. So

986
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 3: it's really fun.

987
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:13,799
Speaker 1: That's awesome.

988
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, play the referee chick Fights.

989
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:17,560
Speaker 2: Oh that's nice.

990
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 4: So I always had to learn how to do one fight.

991
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:23,319
Speaker 4: They were like, yeah, we're let's just keep it to

992
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 4: one fight.

993
00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:27,399
Speaker 3: And uh, if it'll be like thirty seconds long, I'm

994
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:30,880
Speaker 3: like perfect fortune.

995
00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:33,200
Speaker 1: You've been to a lady full locker right, just do

996
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 1: what they do there around after. Thanks so much for

997
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: being on Bananas.

998
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:45,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, Bananas, bananass, b A and anas.

999
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 1: This has been an exactly right production, produced and engineered

1000
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 1: by Katie Levine, theme song by Khanami, and all of

1001
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 1: our artwork is done by Travis Millard.

1002
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:07,400
Speaker 2: So please follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast

1003
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:10,480
Speaker 2: where we post so many more stories and make it here, and.

1004
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:12,879
Speaker 1: You can share with us your strange news story by

1005
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 1: d ming us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast.

1006
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 2: So listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on

1007
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 2: Apple podcast Stitch or or wherever you get your podcasts.

1008
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 1: Bananas Bananas