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Speaker 1: Hello, Chip, Hello.

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Speaker 2: I said to you when we were trying to figure

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Speaker 2: out what we wanted to talk about today, I really

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Speaker 2: only want to talk about the Olympics.

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Speaker 1: I am obsessed. What is wrong with me?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 4: I haven't watched any of it except I just yeah.

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Speaker 4: I mean I don't have live TV, so.

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Speaker 1: Well, do you have peacock the internet?

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Speaker 3: I do?

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Speaker 1: Are you living in twenty twenty four like the rest

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Speaker 1: of us?

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Speaker 3: I mean I have both of those things. I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I've just never been to sit down and watch it

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Speaker 4: a lot. I mean I watched clips online, but I

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Speaker 4: haven't watched anything sort of live or unfold, you know,

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Speaker 4: in real time.

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Speaker 2: I guess it really is just sports ball on crack,

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Speaker 2: which you're not the biggest fan of.

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Speaker 4: It's all over the place, and I feel like if

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Speaker 4: I tuned in, it would be like the ax throwing competition.

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Speaker 3: I be like, what the fuck is this?

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Speaker 4: I like the highlights that I get on the internet,

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Speaker 4: because those are really the things we want to talk about.

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Speaker 4: Like obviously we talked about the pommel horse guy, and

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Speaker 4: then there's French guy who's don was so big it

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Speaker 4: caused him to not everyone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but he was pole vaulting.

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Speaker 3: The pole vaulting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he didn't win because his private part hit the

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Speaker 2: pole and knocked it down, and everyone's like, I mean,

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Speaker 2: there are worse issues.

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Speaker 3: To have, right, I mean, he'll never be forgotten.

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Speaker 1: No, I guess if you're gonna.

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Speaker 4: Won an award, a medal, Yeah, no one would have cared,

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Speaker 4: like it's pole vaulting.

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Speaker 3: Let's you know, he and his family.

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Speaker 1: Would have cared.

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Speaker 2: I disagree because last night I was watching there's a

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Speaker 2: kid from Louisiana. He's actually on the Swedish team, which

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Speaker 2: is weird, but his mom is Swedish. I guess he's

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Speaker 2: a dual citizen, so he does. He's for Sweden. He's

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Speaker 2: from Louisiana, from exactly where I was born, where he

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Speaker 2: went to high school, where my dad went to high school,

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Speaker 2: and then he went to LSU. So obviously I get

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Speaker 2: invested because it's like my people. But he broke his

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Speaker 2: own world record last night.

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Speaker 1: His name is mon Mondo. Do you plan?

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Speaker 2: I think it was the most It was like the

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Speaker 2: biggest rush. And then when he did it, I cried, like,

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Speaker 2: that's how invested you get in this stuff. It's like

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Speaker 2: you would never think you would care about that sport.

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Speaker 2: But when you watch these people, they are such good

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Speaker 2: competitors on all levels, and they're such good athletes, like

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Speaker 2: the gymnasts. I mean, it's shocking when you really think

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Speaker 2: about what they're doing. The runners, You're like, do you

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Speaker 2: know how fast they're actually running?

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's it really is crazy. And you know

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Speaker 3: they also like.

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Speaker 4: Not to be flippant, because I didn't mean to be,

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Speaker 4: but you know, obviously the coverage of the more popular

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Speaker 4: sports is where the caring comes in. But yeah, I

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Speaker 4: mean these people train their whole lives for these moments,

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Speaker 4: you know, totally, and they're done in thirty seconds. You know,

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Speaker 4: It's it's fucking wild.

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Speaker 2: So and also like the mental and emotional pressure, Like

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Speaker 2: I have the most respect for them for overcoming that

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Speaker 2: and then actually doing well and succeeding. It's like, how

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Speaker 2: do you do that? It is that you are a

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Speaker 2: superstar for sure, because it's on the world stage. It's

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Speaker 2: not even just your country stage, Like it's bigger than

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Speaker 2: the super Bowl because it's the whole world.

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Speaker 4: The whole world is watching well, and you know you

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Speaker 4: don't have to keep in mind a lot of them lose,

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Speaker 4: you know, a lot of them don't get it.

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Speaker 1: You're like the Olympic Debbie Downer over here.

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Speaker 3: It's true.

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Speaker 2: I mean I know because my other LSU team, the

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Speaker 2: Beach Volleyball Girls, lost yesterday and what I felt like

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Speaker 2: was a very unfair matchup. If anyone listening, I know,

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Speaker 2: Chip is like, who cares? And what the fuck are

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Speaker 2: you talking about? But oh, I was like, why did

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Speaker 2: we get paired against the Canadian team?

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Speaker 3: First?

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Speaker 1: It just feels wrong. They need to revamp the way

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Speaker 1: it's structured.

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Speaker 3: But are Canadian players.

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Speaker 2: Well that one team is there's just one team, this

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Speaker 2: one girl. They played terrible in pool play. This is

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Speaker 2: way too many details. I just get so hyped up.

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Speaker 2: It's it played terrible and then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: of course, when it got to elimination round against my girls,

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Speaker 2: they played the best game they've ever played. Like it

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Speaker 2: was so good, right, I just think it's really cool.

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Speaker 1: Though.

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Speaker 2: I will say this one last thing and then we'll

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Speaker 2: stop talking about the Olympics, I promise. But like yesterday

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Speaker 2: when I was watching the gymnastics stuff and Simone Bowels

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Speaker 2: was a part of this, but like it just really

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Speaker 2: felt like when I watched the gymnasts specifically, I really

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Speaker 2: feel like they're cheering on everyone, and especially it's you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm watching obviously the women's is what I'm talking about.

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Speaker 2: We talked a little bit about the men's last week.

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Speaker 2: But it was such a beautiful thing to witness women

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Speaker 2: cheering on other women but also other countries, and so

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Speaker 2: it's like you almost just out of respect for what

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Speaker 2: they're doing, because as I said, like they're such great athletes.

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Speaker 2: If you can cheer them on, it's almost like it's

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Speaker 2: just such a uniting thing. And I just really have

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Speaker 2: this energy like we really need that now, like we

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Speaker 2: really need to look at each other and respect what

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Speaker 2: the other people are doing and how amazing they are

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Speaker 2: and beautiful. And when you watch people lift each other up,

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Speaker 2: it's so contagious, so then you want to go do it.

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Speaker 2: And the other women were doing it, and they're all

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Speaker 2: on the plane platforms. Some mobiles didn't even win gold.

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Speaker 2: She won silver, and then the other American won bronze,

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Speaker 2: and they were like.

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Speaker 1: The girl that won the.

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Speaker 2: Gold, that sportsmanship right there totally, And I just I

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Speaker 2: don't know, it just really was a beautiful thing to

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Speaker 2: see yesterday. I don't know, I got I got Tiri

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Speaker 2: a couple of times yesterday. I mean, the Olympics is

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Speaker 2: just great. I don't know how you're not doing it.

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Speaker 3: I love it all right.

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Speaker 2: I will stop my Olympics rant because I know the

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Speaker 2: last two weeks of con ship into kind of talking

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Speaker 2: about them, so we did pick.

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Speaker 3: Before we completely move off of them.

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Speaker 4: I would like to talk about the Well, now this

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Speaker 4: isn't like me watching, this is just me seeing stuff

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Speaker 4: on the internet. Can we talk about their accommodations and

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Speaker 4: that they're sleeping on beds made of cardboard? I saw

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Speaker 4: a photo yesterday of that really hot Italian swimmer photographed

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Speaker 4: sleeping on the ground outside of park bench because he

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Speaker 4: said his bed was so uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we talked about this of friends house this weekend.

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Speaker 2: And there are also rumors that all the Olympians just

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Speaker 2: start having sex with each other and so they have

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Speaker 2: like a massive amount of conduct.

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Speaker 3: Cond Yeah, there's a lot of contents supplied.

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Speaker 2: And they always run out, so like, I don't know

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Speaker 2: what's happening. But they said that is why they did it,

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Speaker 2: And I said, well, what about like their rest before

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Speaker 2: the biggest match of their life? Like, I don't understand

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Speaker 2: how they could have them sleeping on such bad beds.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I and I don't, like, what's the point of

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Speaker 4: trying to prevent them from having sex? I just googled, like,

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Speaker 4: how many the Paris Olympics provided three hundred thousand condoms

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Speaker 4: to the Olympic.

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Speaker 1: Village, three hundred, three.

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Speaker 4: Hundred thousand, and the world the record is the Rio

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Speaker 4: Games in twenty sixteen, four hundred and fifty thousand condoms,

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Speaker 4: including one hundred female condoms, sorry, one hundred thousand female condoms.

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Speaker 2: And they ran out right yeah, yeah, so this I'm

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Speaker 2: just like, whatever, if they need to blow off that way,

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Speaker 2: it's not our business.

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Speaker 4: It's they're you know, assuming that everyone's consenting and their

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Speaker 4: adults and whatever, like, who fucking cares, don't make them

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Speaker 4: sleep on cardboard.

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Speaker 2: Well I don't even know if that's a true statement,

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Speaker 2: but when we were discussing it with our friends this

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Speaker 2: week and someone said that was why they were tying

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Speaker 2: the two together.

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Speaker 3: So I think.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I've seen like very high end couches made

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Speaker 4: of cardboard. It's incredibly durable if you turn it on

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Speaker 4: its side, and you know, their mattresses are put on them,

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Speaker 4: But that sounds.

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Speaker 1: A little bit like being in jail to me though.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it does. I feel like these are Olympians. We

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Speaker 4: should be putting them on four seasons beds.

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Speaker 3: They've are absolutely the amount of money that they put

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Speaker 3: into doing the Olympics, right people, good night's sleep?

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Speaker 1: I mean it doesn't take that much.

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Speaker 3: It really doesn't.

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Speaker 4: Where is Curda, Like, why is it Curda or one

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Speaker 4: of these big brands a sponsor?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like any of the mattress brands. It would be

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Speaker 2: an amazing opportunity for publicity. And then you have the

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Speaker 2: Olympians talking about how they got the best night sleep ever?

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Speaker 1: Are we not? I mean, are we marketing for them

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Speaker 1: right now?

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Speaker 3: Hello? Call us, We'll connect you.

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Speaker 2: Obviously, you guys are missing out on a big opportunity.

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Speaker 3: Casper where you at?

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Speaker 1: Is it because it's in Paris? Like does Paris? I

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Speaker 1: don't know.

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Speaker 2: Is that like a norm for people in France They

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Speaker 2: don't care about mattresses the.

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Speaker 1: Way we do.

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Speaker 4: No, I think it's I mean, I think it's in general,

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Speaker 4: like because these where they put them up are just

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Speaker 4: sort of makeshift hotels. They need, yeah, they and they

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Speaker 4: need something that can be thrown away at the end.

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Speaker 4: Especially with all the jiz that's on it.

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Speaker 2: You know, I knew he was going to eventually push

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Speaker 2: it too far, but I thought way longer than I thought.

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Speaker 4: I don't know it, just burn it. You know, it's

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Speaker 4: probably more sustainable to have a throwaway. I mean, the

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Speaker 4: bed isn't the problem. It's to me is the mattress

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Speaker 4: needs to be what's.

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Speaker 2: Good agreed well for la I hope that they really

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Speaker 2: figure that out. Welcome to America. This is how we sleep.

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Speaker 3: Waterbeds.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're taking it back to waterbeds, all right, having

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Speaker 2: on one of those, it's.

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Speaker 3: Not easy like it.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure you want to provide sex. Give it them all,

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Speaker 4: give them water beds.

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Speaker 3: There you go.

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Speaker 2: You should be on the Olympics board. You're like, here's

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Speaker 2: the solution, guys, put them on water beds. You really

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Speaker 2: have to provide as many you wanted to provide as

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Speaker 2: many condoms because they won't be able to meet each

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Speaker 2: other's bodies.

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Speaker 1: Right, they are Olympians.

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Speaker 4: Though it might break some bones trying to make it work,

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Speaker 4: but you know that's.

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Speaker 3: What they get.

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Speaker 1: Well, now that we've solved that, let's talk about dating.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So the other interesting topic we discussed this weekend, we

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Speaker 2: were at a friend's house. We kind of we kind

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Speaker 2: of always get on the topic of dating when you're

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Speaker 2: in a group of friends. I think that's pretty normal.

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Speaker 2: But something that's been circulating in my little hemisphere. And

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Speaker 2: then also, like I found this article on Bustle that

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Speaker 2: I shared with you this morning, is that people are

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Speaker 2: genuinely getting over dating apps. Like it's been talked about

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Speaker 2: a little bit before, like, uh, dating apps, but it

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Speaker 2: does seem that there is a massive shift recently where

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Speaker 2: people are just done with it and they really, really

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Speaker 2: really want to meet someone in real life. In fact,

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Speaker 2: when we were at our friend's house, our friend Reagan said, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm off all the apps, Like she's just done. She's like,

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Speaker 2: I've had the same experience over and over and over

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Speaker 2: and I can't do it anymore, Like it's so defeating,

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Speaker 2: and so I'm just done.

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Speaker 1: For a second.

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Speaker 2: I have to take a break, I have to reset.

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Speaker 2: And she's like, I've been raring lipstick to the grocery store,

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Speaker 2: Like I'm really starting to focus on having that real

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Speaker 2: life connection. So have you heard that too, Chip in

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Speaker 2: your circle?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I think we It's it's interesting because

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Speaker 4: I don't know if it's because the age of my

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Speaker 4: circle or if it's just sort of the timing of

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Speaker 4: where we're at with the life cycle of of dating apps,

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Speaker 4: but you know, I think it is important to remember

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Speaker 4: that they are not a service.

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Speaker 3: They are a business.

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Speaker 4: And the longer they keep you on the app, yeah,

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Speaker 4: the longer you're paying them, And so we can't forget that.

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Speaker 4: And look, I do think, you know, this is we're

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Speaker 4: just talking about one side of it right now, because

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Speaker 4: I do think there's plenty of success stories and you know,

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Speaker 4: it's funny. We we interviewed Melissa Hobbley when she was

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Speaker 4: at Okay Cupid. She's now at Tender, and there's been

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Speaker 4: a lot of really interesting she's been posting. She's been

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Speaker 4: interviewed a lot lately, and there have there's been a

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Speaker 4: lot of like success stories. But you know, and I

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Speaker 4: really like, I really liked her, So I don't want

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Speaker 4: this to be like a negative thing about it. This

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Speaker 4: is about like my inner circles experience. I've been on

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Speaker 4: them for fucking years and I am single, you know, like,

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Speaker 4: so right there, the data shows that I should probably

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Speaker 4: get off of them. That said, my last relationship I

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Speaker 4: met him on Grinder, and though it didn't work out,

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Speaker 4: it was a really important relationship in my life. It

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Speaker 4: pulled me out of a funk. It got me back

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Speaker 4: out there. I mean it honestly, like I'm really grateful

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Speaker 4: for it. You know, I grew a lot in that relationship.

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Speaker 4: I learned what I wanted, I learned what I didn't want,

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Speaker 4: you know. And it's like those things obviously are always

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Speaker 4: evolving as we of all as human beings. But I

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Speaker 4: also like it just sort of kickstarted me to like

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Speaker 4: love myself more and that that's really what's most important,

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Speaker 4: because it's the most important relationship I'm ever going to have.

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Speaker 4: And if I'm ever going to be in a loving,

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Speaker 4: committed relationship, I kind of have to know myself, you know.

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Speaker 4: I mean I do have to know myself and I

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Speaker 4: have to know my worth and anyway, so you know,

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Speaker 4: my experience is I said this earlier when we were prepping.

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Speaker 4: It's like me, dating apps are a bit about it's

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Speaker 4: like going to the mall and like looking at everything

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Speaker 4: in the window at the Louivaton store and not being

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Speaker 4: able to afford it and having to go over to

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Speaker 4: H and M and buy my.

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Speaker 3: Clothes you know, like.

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Speaker 4: It's kind of like that, and it's you know, it

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Speaker 4: can be really depressing. I've also like the number of

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Speaker 4: bots and people trying to catfish are unbelievable, and I

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Speaker 4: can I can spot them a mile away, and sometimes

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Speaker 4: I just engage with them just to fuck with them.

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Speaker 4: You told us, Yeah, And you know, it's like it's

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Speaker 4: crazy because I feel like the most people I speak

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Speaker 4: with online are that, you know, like they're the ones

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Speaker 4: who are actively trying to have conversations on these apps.

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Speaker 3: And I don't know, maybe.

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Speaker 4: It is just me and the people that are on

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Speaker 4: it aren't attracted to my profile and I'm not doing

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Speaker 4: something right, but I you know, it's it is a

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Speaker 4: big turn off to see that like they've been infiltrated

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Speaker 4: by these things and you can't trust anyone.

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Speaker 2: Right well, I think I think one of the things

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Speaker 2: that you're talking about, which is is kind of what

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Speaker 2: my response was that I don't know that I feel

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Speaker 2: like it's a bad thing that people are getting fed

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Speaker 2: up with the way things are right now in the

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Speaker 2: dating world or in relationships in general, and the mentalities

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Speaker 2: that we have, the structures that we've created in this culture,

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Speaker 2: and you touched on something that I think is so

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Speaker 2: important about like getting to know myself and love myself,

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Speaker 2: and like, of course.

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Speaker 1: That's like blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: We all hear that on Instagram, like it seems so

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Speaker 2: cheesy and whatever. But what I said to you was,

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Speaker 2: I think this could actually be end up being a

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Speaker 2: positive in the realm of relationships in general, because my

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Speaker 2: entire idea of what relationships are here for in this life.

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Speaker 2: I just think like our culture does such a disservice

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Speaker 2: from day one with us, because we're taught if you

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Speaker 2: find this relationship by x point in your life, this

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Speaker 2: one person, the one person, the soulmate, the person you're

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Speaker 2: going to spend the rest of your life with, then

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Speaker 2: your life will be successful and you will be happy.

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Speaker 2: And like, my experience in dating has been so different

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Speaker 2: from that, and I used to feel like I was

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Speaker 2: defective because of that. And what's happened for me lately

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Speaker 2: is I just have gone, oh, wait, this is because

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Speaker 2: our culture puts it in this box of what this

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Speaker 2: is supposed to look like, and I actually don't agree

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Speaker 2: with that at all. So it's about reframing it and

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Speaker 2: actually starting to have those conversations with people. It's like,

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Speaker 2: why do we all think that our lives have to

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Speaker 2: look exactly the same, And that's what makes success because

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Speaker 2: our souls are all completely different. I believe we all

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Speaker 2: came here for a very specific purpose for our individual selves,

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Speaker 2: and so you're gonna be on a different journey than

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Speaker 2: someone else like he, and you are not going to

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Speaker 2: have the same experience in dating me and any of

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Speaker 2: our friends, Like I have a ton of friends who

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Speaker 2: got married right out of college.

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Speaker 3: I could have.

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Speaker 2: Chosen that, but my soul didn't want it. I couldn't

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Speaker 2: do it, like it just wasn't in line with what

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Speaker 2: I felt. But that doesn't mean I was wrong or defective.

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Speaker 2: It means I had some other pieces of my journey

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Speaker 2: that I just go on exactly. And so I think

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Speaker 2: it's really interesting that it's starting to happen now where

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Speaker 2: people are like, wait a second, I'm unsatisfied with this.

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Speaker 2: I don't know that we're piecing together why we're unsatisfied yet,

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Speaker 2: but people are getting unsatisfied, which is the first step

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Speaker 2: to really starting to reframe the bigger picture of things.

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Speaker 2: So I sent you that article. It was from Bustle,

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Speaker 2: and they was talking about Basically, people are creating these

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Speaker 2: docs like documents, and the documents ask you to just

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Speaker 2: kind of sell yourself in a way that's different than

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Speaker 2: the app because it asks you very specific questions about

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Speaker 2: you and what you're looking for, versus like you kind

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Speaker 2: of doing the like cutesy interview thing that the dating

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Speaker 2: apps are set up for now, and you had an

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Speaker 2: interesting response where you were like that seems to be

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Speaker 2: it'll be more effective because it's actually asking you to

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Speaker 2: get to know what you really want and what you're

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Speaker 2: looking for.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I mean one of the things about these dating apps,

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Speaker 4: and for those of you who've never been on them,

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Speaker 4: they all have their.

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Speaker 3: Own sort of.

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Speaker 4: Shape to them, and some of them, you know, you

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Speaker 4: have to answer these like cutesy questions or you have

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Speaker 4: to come up with something cutesy or whatever it is,

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Speaker 4: and it's quite annoying. And I also think too they

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00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,600
Speaker 4: sort of push you in some way to think about

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Speaker 4: who's reading it and not about what you want and

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Speaker 4: like putting yourself on that page. And what these these

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Speaker 4: dating docs do is it forces you to really think

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Speaker 4: about exactly what it is that you want and the

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Speaker 4: qualities that you possess, because like some of these documents

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Speaker 4: I've found someone Lyne. You know, they're five pages long

385
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Speaker 4: and they have pictures and they talk about you know,

386
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Speaker 4: they really get the crux of who you are. I mean,

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Speaker 4: I don't know that I would ever put that energy

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Speaker 4: into it too, but I do see how these could

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Speaker 4: be really beneficial for people that are over the sort

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Speaker 4: of like window shopping dating that is, these dating apps.

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Speaker 4: And you know, I think the people that are putting

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Speaker 4: the time into creating them, even if it does not

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00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:29,720
Speaker 4: work out, and it's that document that finds them dates

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00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 4: or finds some love or whatever, I do think it's

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00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,960
Speaker 4: a great exercise to do because it zeros in on

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Speaker 4: the things that are most important. Whether or not you

397
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Speaker 4: actually have to put it down on a sheet of paper,

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Speaker 4: it remains to be seen. It's about doing the work.

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Speaker 4: Like this weekend when we when we were hanging out

400
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Speaker 4: with friends and talking about dating, you know, somebody in

401
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 4: the group asked me, well, what is it that you

402
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 4: want in someone? And I was like, I want a

403
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,440
Speaker 4: ninety year old man who has no children and he's

404
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,160
Speaker 4: a billionaire and he's going to di sent and which

405
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 4: is obviously a joe. But like, okay, right, yeah, right.

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00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 1: Like because we obviously know you better than that, but right.

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00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 4: And you know that's me just putting humor in it.

408
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,479
Speaker 4: And our friend Mary was like, no, you really have

409
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,959
Speaker 4: to meditate on this, like you have to. You are

410
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,160
Speaker 4: never going to find the person that you want if

411
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,199
Speaker 4: you do not outline the qualities of that person. And

412
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,880
Speaker 4: it's not about what they have or what they do

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Speaker 4: or where they live or those.

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Speaker 1: Sort of but that's what we are prefaced.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we're set up to think about like it's like,

416
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Speaker 2: what do you want? What are the logistics? What are

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00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 2: the on paper things of this person?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: And it's crazy, Like you know, it's funny when someone

420
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:46,720
Speaker 4: you know, your friend meets somebody that went on vacation

421
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,199
Speaker 4: that lives in a foreign country and it's magnetic and

422
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 4: you're like, holy shit, this is my person. There's you know,

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00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,000
Speaker 4: I read examples of this all the time online, like

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00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 4: people that like meet on vacation and and up falling

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00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,640
Speaker 4: in love and getting married and it's because they were

426
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:08,199
Speaker 4: open to who that person was, not all of the things.

427
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 4: But then you watch a dating show and what's the

428
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 4: first thing you see? They're like, this is Kelly, She's

429
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,520
Speaker 4: a podcaster. She lives in Nashville.

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Speaker 1: They give you my stove, those.

431
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 4: Things, they give you the stats versus being like this

432
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Speaker 4: is Kelly. She loves blah blah blah and blah blah blah.

433
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Speaker 4: She's a spiritual being and goes you know, sees Marv

434
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Speaker 4: every week. The things that like really make you who

435
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,159
Speaker 4: you are versus what you.

436
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,360
Speaker 2: Are well and what I said to you to take

437
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 2: that conversation even further. Something that I've really learned about

438
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Speaker 2: manifesting because people will say all day like, you really

439
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 2: have to meditate on it, you really need to manifest,

440
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 2: Bring them in, draw them in. Something I've learned about

441
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 2: manifesting that I've really gotten mixed up the last couple

442
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 2: of years is like to do that and really think,

443
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,439
Speaker 2: like to think about the thing. It's a book I've

444
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 2: been reading about energy talks about when you're just thinking

445
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 2: about the thing you don't have, you're actually coming from

446
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,439
Speaker 2: a place of lack. And so because you're thinking I

447
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 2: don't have this like that, so you're not actually gonna

448
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,520
Speaker 2: manifest the thing you're thinking about. You're gonna manifest more

449
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:15,359
Speaker 2: lack because all you're doing when we're manifesting is producing energy.

450
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 2: So if you're producing the energy from lack, you're gonna

451
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 2: put out more lack, and then you're gonna get back

452
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 2: more lack. And so what I said to you is,

453
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 2: it's not even just about thinking about meditating on the

454
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 2: person's qualities that you want. It's like, how do you

455
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 2: want to feel when you're around this person? Like I

456
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 2: actually think that that is what has brought me. I'm

457
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,400
Speaker 2: by the way. I haven't even told listeners my boyfriend

458
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,399
Speaker 2: and I that we had broken up. We're back together.

459
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 2: And that is the thing that I've learned the most

460
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 2: from this relationship is because he and I were friends

461
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 2: for like a decade before we got together, and so

462
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 2: of course on paper, like some things make sense and

463
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 2: some things just don't, Like he doesn't live here.

464
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 1: They're like legitstical.

465
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,399
Speaker 2: Things that I probably wouldn't choose if I was making

466
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,919
Speaker 2: my list of the perfect person for me. But the

467
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 2: way that I feel around this man has always been

468
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,200
Speaker 2: the thing that stuck out to me most because it's

469
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 2: the way my soul feels, my body feels, the way

470
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,719
Speaker 2: I feel calm, the way I feel peaceful.

471
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:19,920
Speaker 1: He feels the.

472
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 2: Same things, and like those come from qualities like kindness, generosity, whatever.

473
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:30,120
Speaker 2: But mostly what I'm I'm fixated on, like in most

474
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 2: days with him, is like just the way that it feels.

475
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 2: And I really have learned that that is how you

476
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 2: truly manifest the things that you want is getting in

477
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 2: the place of feeling it within your body, thinking about

478
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 2: how you want to feel around that person, around or

479
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 2: within that relationship. And it's interesting what you draw in

480
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 2: when you start thinking about that, and like what we

481
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 2: were saying, it's like it could look totally different on

482
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 2: paper than you ever imagine. So that's where dating apps

483
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 2: are kind of leading us astray right now, because you're

484
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,159
Speaker 2: swiping your zer are like, oh, I would never end

485
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 2: up with that person, but you can't even tell how

486
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 2: you would feel because you're not seeing them in real life.

487
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 4: Well, and also there's you know, I'm really guilty of this,

488
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,360
Speaker 4: not fucking reading a word that they've written.

489
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 3: You know. It's like you're just looking at pictures.

490
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 4: It's so easy, just a window shop until you see

491
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 4: a photo that catches your eye and then you read

492
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,679
Speaker 4: what they have to say that I don't think that

493
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 4: is that different than being in a bar and being like,

494
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:30,640
Speaker 4: that person's cute, right, It obviously takes a lot more

495
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 4: guts to in real life to like go up and

496
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 4: introduce yourself to someone than it is just to be like, hey,

497
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 4: how are you online? Because if they never respond to you,

498
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 4: there is no shame, there is no it's no like.

499
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 4: It does you forget about it. You know, you've moved

500
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 4: on to the next person that you're saying hi to,

501
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 4: whereas you know, a few weeks ago. I don't know

502
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 4: if I've shared any of this on the podcast. I

503
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 4: can't remember if it was just you and I talked

504
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 4: about it. But I was out, and you know, I'm

505
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 4: not the type of person that just walks up to

506
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 4: a guy in real life and says hi. And there

507
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 4: was something about some guy that I saw at this

508
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 4: event in June, and I did, and I would have

509
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 4: been and I hesitated and I sort of danced around

510
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 4: doing it, but then I was really happy that I did. Ultimately,

511
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 4: he I mean, he we did exchange numbers, he responded,

512
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 4: he acted like he was excited that we met, and

513
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,640
Speaker 4: he was honest that he was already chatting with somebody

514
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 4: and then he ghosted me. But whatever, you know, like

515
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 4: I can carry that courage from that moment to know

516
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 4: that I can I will live through that.

517
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 2: You know, I'll survive if the surviveation.

518
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 3: Yeah.

519
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 4: And you know, honestly, it's like the more relationships or

520
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:52,439
Speaker 4: dates or whatever failed relationships that you go on, the

521
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 4: further it gets you to sort of your center and

522
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,400
Speaker 4: knowing what it is that you want and don't want.

523
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,679
Speaker 4: You know, you kind of you kind of have to

524
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:05,199
Speaker 4: take the bad to get to the good. And you know,

525
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 4: I'm almost fifty years old, and I feel like I'm

526
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 4: really just learning that because I've had this incredible fear

527
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 4: of rejection my entire life, that it's been easier to

528
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 4: be single. And quite honestly, like i have a really

529
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 4: great fucking life. I'm surrounded by amazing friends and family.

530
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 3: I love what I do.

531
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 4: I am not bored in any way, but you know,

532
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 4: it would be nice to share it with somebody. And

533
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 4: I think the older I get, the more obvious it

534
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 4: becomes that is actually really a need, you know, like it's.

535
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 2: We want connection, like we all do, like humans want connection.

536
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 2: But as you were speaking, all I was thinking was

537
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 2: this is what I'm talking about. Like you immediately just

538
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: you go, you feel the need to say, well, I'm

539
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 2: almost fifty and so it's almost like, oh, I've not

540
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,719
Speaker 2: gotten this right, and it's like, no, you've been working

541
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 2: through your fear of rejection, which is something you probably

542
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 2: brought from a past life. Really want to get me

543
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 2: going on this shit, but like, yeah, it's like, we

544
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 2: have these things we need to work through. Relationships are

545
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 2: just one of the ways that we're helping our soul

546
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 2: work through the lessons we're here to learn. Truly, Like

547
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,479
Speaker 2: that is what I believe, and we've talked about this

548
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 2: before the podcast, but I think that we also have

549
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 2: this mentality in our world that like, relationships are supposed

550
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 2: to come into our lives and just make us happy,

551
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 2: and it's like you're never gonna be more triggered, more

552
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 2: worked up, find more things that you need to work

553
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 2: on within yourself. But by being in a relationship, like

554
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 2: when you're on your own, it's a lot easier to

555
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 2: not have to deal with your shit because you just

556
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,919
Speaker 2: can go about your way of life whatever, And you

557
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 2: get in a relationship and all your shit comes to

558
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:46,679
Speaker 2: the surface. So it's not gonna be this like happy

559
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,479
Speaker 2: go lucky fairy tale that's pitched to us in Disney

560
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 2: movies from day one. You know, it's like no, is

561
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 2: their joy and is their beauty? And is there the

562
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 2: deepest kind of love you can experience? Yes, but like

563
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 2: a lot of times you've got to do the work

564
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,439
Speaker 2: to get to that and like really let down your

565
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 2: walls in a new way that you've ever been able to.

566
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 2: Or that's what I'm learning at least, And so it's

567
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 2: just I just think it's really interesting we're bumping up

568
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 2: against this thing, and I'm actually really hoping that it

569
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 2: leads to a bigger conversation of reframing what relationships are

570
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 2: to us, how we go about finding the ones that

571
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,119
Speaker 2: we want to participate in. And then also that like

572
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 2: if it doesn't last forever, it's not a failure. There's

573
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 2: still beauty in that situation too, Like not just because

574
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 2: it doesn't last forever doesn't mean it wasn't didn't serve

575
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 2: its purpose in your life.

576
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 3: Well, I think it's we need to reframe what our

577
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:38,880
Speaker 3: goals are.

578
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 4: Because you and I talked about Love is Blind, and

579
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 4: the concept behind that show I think is just fucking brilliant.

580
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 4: Like too, you know, you really have to get to

581
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 4: know somebody. But I think we're you know, the train

582
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 4: goes off the tracks when you're trying to get married

583
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 4: in two weeks, and that's just that's just an amount

584
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 4: of pressure that no human beings.

585
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 2: Also, you can't as much as they sit in those pods,

586
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 2: you can't know someone in two weeks.

587
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 3: Oh wow, you might know that you really want to go.

588
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 4: On dates with this person or make out with this person,

589
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:13,160
Speaker 4: or meet this person. But Mary, it's like a granite.

590
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 4: They are making a television show. They are not actually

591
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,640
Speaker 4: trying to connect people to fall in love. It obviously,

592
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 4: you know, makes it more sensational if they do, and

593
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 4: then they stay in love, and then you've got famous

594
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 4: people that are making money and blah blah blah.

595
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 3: It's great for the franchise.

596
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 4: But in the real world, you know, that's not how

597
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 4: things work. So I think if you can go into

598
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 4: all of these, you know, whether it is online dating

599
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 4: or in real life trying to meet somebody, go into

600
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,479
Speaker 4: it knowing that it might just be a moment. Like

601
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 4: for me when I met that guy, that was a moment.

602
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: And what did you learn about you?

603
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 4: It taught me that I'm going to survive, and it

604
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,960
Speaker 4: also taught me that people are kind like he didn't

605
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 4: He could have been like not interested, you know, and

606
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 4: really played into my fear of rejection and just put

607
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 4: it right out there on the shelf. But he was

608
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 4: kind and throughout the night, like when we would see

609
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 4: each other, we would say hi.

610
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 3: You know, it's like a big dance party that we were.

611
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 4: At, so it's like we would continue to run into

612
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 4: each other. And it just made for a really special

613
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 4: moment for me. And there was no tail on it,

614
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 4: you know.

615
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: It just takes.

616
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 2: It was a moment in time of your fear though,

617
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 2: because you like you took one step forward into that

618
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 2: fear and you survived, like you said, and you were

619
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 2: met with kindness, which makes it even better. And it's

620
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 2: just like, oh, okay, then I can do it again,

621
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 2: and then again and then again. Before you know it,

622
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 2: you've like overcome this fear.

623
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 3: Yes, great job. Thanks.

624
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 2: I'm going to put the article from Bustle that I

625
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 2: found in the description of the podcast for you guys

626
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 2: if you're interested in what some people are using as

627
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 2: alternatives to dating apps these days. As always, we really

628
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 2: welcome your feedback. I'm so curious what you guys think

629
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 2: about this. I just think it's an interesting conversation to start,

630
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: and I hope people keep having it and we we

631
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 2: really start to kind of reframe how we talk to

632
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 2: each other and ourselves about being in relationships and finding

633
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 2: relationships and all that stuff. So you can email us

634
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 2: at the Edge at velvetedge dot com. You can also

635
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 2: hit me up on Instagram or our voicemail, which is

636
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 2: in the bio of my Instagram.

637
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: I'm at Velvet's Edge. It's also in chips. It's a chip.

638
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 4: I'm at chipdor should chip d r scch.

639
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 2: And as you guys go into the weekend and you're

640
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 2: living on the edge, I hope you always remember too

641
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 2: as casual.

642
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 3: Bye bye