WEBVTT - "I THREW SOMEONE'S ASHES AWAY" 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:02.120 Hello, is this lie? 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:06.520 Yeah? Is this Heath? It is. 0:00:08.200 --> 0:00:09.680 Crazy that I'm actually talking to you. 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:12.959 Oh, I'm happy to happy to hear from you. You 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:14.960 got the same name as that actor who died. 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:19.560 Yeah, that's how everybody knows who he's that or the 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:20.520 candy bar. 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:26.840 Mm hmm, well Heath does see Heath. I feel like 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:28.200 this is going to be a chill call. 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:33.400 Yeah, I mean, why not. 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:35.800 What's going on with the Heath? 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:44.879 Well, I'm in a predicament that I've never been before, Heathy. 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:50.320 It says here that you accidentally threw away your sister's 0:00:50.400 --> 0:00:51.919 roommates dad's ashes. 0:00:55.760 --> 0:00:59.960 Yeah. It's like I I I laugh, I giggle because 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:02.480 it's so horrible. It's like there's not really any other 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:07.559 way to respond. It's it's so bad. 0:01:08.040 --> 0:01:12.760 Yeah, let me let me, let me let me slow 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:18.000 this down real quick. Okay, sisters roommates, dad's ashes. 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:22.520 Yeah, so my sister lives in a house with a 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:26.360 couple of people. One of those people's dad died. I 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:27.400 threw away the ashes. 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:34.319 Okay, so tell me how you ended up throwing away 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:34.880 the ashes. 0:01:38.280 --> 0:01:43.240 Well, basically, the the house that my sister and everybody 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:48.240 rents is getting tinted for termites tomorrow, so they have 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:51.240 to you know, clean up the police a bit, get 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:55.440 it organized, wrap everything up, and then also take their 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:57.520 things and leave for a couple of days while it's happening. 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:01.720 And so my sister actually is sick, so I went 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:05.080 over there to help because she wasn't there or able 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:07.680 to help. And then the other chick is was like 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:10.840 working or something, and so I went to help the 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:14.120 only other person that was there working on things. And 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:17.240 so we had this this like one laundry room closet 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:20.040 room that needed to be kind of organized and cleaned out. 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:22.800 There was tons of trash, like literally a massive pile 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:27.120 of laundry, and then this like cabinet situation that had 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:29.760 a bunch of random things and it mainly though it 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:33.240 was cleaning supplies and like extra hardware, looked like it 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:35.320 was just a bunch of stuff left by the landlord. 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:39.800 And we were just cleaning all that out, stuff that 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:42.760 you know, wasn't necessary. And one of those things was 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:48.160 an unmarked box that was just sitting there amongst all 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:51.200 those other things, and I thought it was that, you 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:54.880 know that like cat litter type stuff that janitors use 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:57.200 to like clean up throw up in schools and stuff 0:02:57.440 --> 0:02:59.000 and like drives up even sweep it. 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:01.840 I thought it was that you thought it was catletter, 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:05.040 you know. 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:07.760 Some some along than live. I mean, it's I don't 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:10.200 know if you've ever seen ashes. I never have before. 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:12.440 I mean I have now. I didn't know it though, 0:03:13.680 --> 0:03:15.560 but that's not what I pictured them looking like. You know, 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.760 I thought it would be like, I don't know, ashes, 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:23.679 It was like cat litter almost m h. 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:25.359 And so you threw them what? 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:31.160 Well, yeah, I mean we were trying to save some 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:33.680 space and put things in there that needed to be 0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:37.280 better protected, and a box of dirt or cat litter 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:40.520 was not going to be one of those things. Little 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:45.880 did we know the dad's ashes were in there. So 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:50.160 is that? Yeah, So. 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:56.960 What happens when your sister's roommate found. 0:03:56.720 --> 0:04:03.000 Out, Well, she didn't know right away because, like I said, 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:04.760 she wasn't even there when we were in the room. 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:06.800 She was aware that we were cleaning that room though, 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:10.600 And I think that's important because I don't mean to 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:14.080 like shift the blame on anybody, but like it was 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:19.520 a totally unmarked box, like we had literally no way 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:22.159 of knowing. I'm sure if you were in the same position, 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:26.080 you probably would have done the same thing. Like it 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:27.920 didn't seem It's not like it was just some dumb 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:31.120 mistake because we were being careless, like it was thought out. 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:34.360 We actually in the moment joked saying, oh, that might 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:37.240 be like somebody's ashes, And I was like, no, there's 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:41.040 no way that, like somebody would put there somebody important 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:45.080 ashes in some storage room next to hardware and cleaning 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:49.040 supplies and an unmarked cardboard box, like, there's no way. 0:04:49.839 --> 0:04:51.960 You joked beforehand. 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:59.360 That well, I mean to say joked that. We weren't 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:02.320 like joking, but like, you know, just an offhand little 0:05:02.320 --> 0:05:04.479 comment like, oh, what if that's ashes, I'd be like, 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:07.120 and I actually said, no, there's no way these are ashes. 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:14.360 It's like it wouldn't be here. Okay, we're that important, 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:14.599 you know. 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:21.320 I feel like you cosmically played alf when you said that, Well, 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:26.480 what do you mean while you threw it out there 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:28.400 for those to be ashes? 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:34.919 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we spoken into existence. It wouldn't have 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:35.640 been ashes. 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:38.440 If we didn't say that, So tell us about and 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:43.719 then here we are the reaction from yeah, your sister, 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:45.400 your friends, your sister's friends. 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:52.120 Yeah, well, how I initially realized they suspected something happened. 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:56.320 Was my sister FaceTime and was like, hey, so Shelby, 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:58.640 you know, thanks for cleaning that room yesterday. You know, 0:05:58.920 --> 0:06:04.719 awesome job. Looks Shelby was wondering where there was like 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:07.159 a box with her dad dashes in that room, and 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:09.720 she was just wondering where it went. And like immediately 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:11.960 as soon as she said that, I knew exactly what 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:14.920 she was talking about, and I got silent for a 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:19.400 little while. I thought for a little bit longer, and 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:21.880 I still didn't really know what to say. I mean, 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:27.760 I just like anyways, she ends up kind of catching 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:30.440 the hint because nobody would actually say anything right away 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:34.880 that obviously they must be gone. So the other roommate 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:41.000 it was mainly texting her because their roommates, and so 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:43.200 she was just like, yeah, we accidentally threw them away, 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:47.200 gave some excuse. She just like ignored everybody for a while. 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:49.960 Literally drove to some landfills and was trying to find it, 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:52.560 and like we were kind of following her around trying 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.560 to go to a landfill. I had no idea where 0:06:55.560 --> 0:07:00.680 it went though, And then it ended where Shelley ended 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:03.360 up being with somebody else and Anyways, she she sent 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:07.000 a big long text a little while ago, just uh, 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:08.440 and her step mom did too. 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.200 She text to your. 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:18.040 Roommate that I didn't no to Bella and because they 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:21.200 don't have my phone number, so they sent to Tabella 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:23.320 Bella toal sense to me. So I was able to 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:25.880 see it, and it was like they were really upset. 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:27.800 They were just like, how could. 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.040 You do this? 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:31.640 How did you not even question that this might be 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:33.440 somebody's ashes heath? 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:35.120 Do you have the text message? 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:37.920 Yes? 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:39.080 Can we hear it? 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:42.120 Yeah? 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:45.600 The text message that they sent that like the stepmom sent. 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:47.960 Yeah, the text message that the step mom sent to you? 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:55.200 Okay, they she said, this is Cheryl Shelby's stepmom. I 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:59.200 would greatly appreciate an explanation as to how that's all taps. 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:03.320 You could soak carelessly throw away my fiances and Shelby's 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:06.720 father's remains in the garbage. This is the most horrifying 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:08.760 thing I've ever heard of in my life. It is 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:11.920 beyond painful. You have three people living in your home. 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:14.440 If you ran across something that wasn't familiar to you, 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:17.160 why in God's name would you not ask your roommates? 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:21.040 Shelby told you both. She was putting her father's ashes 0:08:21.160 --> 0:08:23.480 in the cabinet in the laundry room due to Marley, 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:27.640 that's her dog. How could you do this? How if 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:30.120 you have an ounce of healing compassion, if Shelby has 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.600 to go to the landfill to find him, you better 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:35.960 be right beside her helping you and Tally and he's 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:40.520 This is the most inconsiderate, cruel thing I've ever experienced. Imagine, 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:44.040 just imagine if this was one of your parents. Make 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:45.000 this right, Bella? 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:51.000 Wait, make this right, Bella? Why did you say at 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:53.240 to Bella? 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:58.480 Well, because she sent that text specifically to Bella. 0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:58.440 Why would she Santa Belli, you're the one to throw 0:08:58.480 --> 0:08:59.120 away the ashes? 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:04.640 Well, we both did it, was we literally I grabbed 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:06.400 it from the shelf and asked, and she took it 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:07.880 from my hand and threw it in the trash bag, 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:09.240 like we both did it. 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:16.400 Okay, all right, Well, so she said that you need 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:18.800 to make this right. What have you done to attempt 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:20.600 to make it right? 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:23.640 Well, I was if she was going to be at 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:25.360 a landfill, I was willing to go there and look 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:27.760 for it, even though I don't think that's realistic at all. 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:30.160 I think we're never going to find it, but I 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:32.600 was going to go there and do my best to 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:36.920 try to find it and hope for some sort of crazy, 0:09:38.679 --> 0:09:39.600 crazy thing to happen. 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:43.120 And did you end up going to the landfill? 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:47.439 Well, I drove to a couple, but she was ahead 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:49.960 of me, and I don't actually have her phone numbers. 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:54.360 I wasn't talking to her. I was getting relayed messages 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:57.080 from my sister who was talking to her about where 0:09:57.080 --> 0:10:00.360 she was going. And so by the time I would 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:02.560 get to the places, she had already left because those 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:05.439 places were closed or the people there told her to 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:08.120 go somewhere else. So it was kind of just I 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.320 chased her around town for a little while, never actually 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:12.760 saw her, and then she was so and that wasn't 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:14.400 gonna rude. 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:22.480 Have you seen the step mom or the daughter since 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:23.880 in person? 0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:29.080 No, this this has unfolded in the last like four hours, 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:30.080 probably maybe five. 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:33.600 This was this is this is in the past four hours. 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:37.360 Yeah, this is literally today, like I'm in the middle 0:10:37.360 --> 0:10:39.600 of it right now. And I was telling my buddy 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:44.319 about it, and he said, dude, Lyle is online right now. 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:49.960 Oh my god, you are so heavily procrastinating on dealing 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:50.800 with this right now. 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:54.400 Maybe that is the case. 0:10:56.000 --> 0:11:01.880 Yeah, okay, so when did you get sent that text? 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:10.600 That text was sent at eight thirty and it is 0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:14.200 now almost ten an hour and a half years. 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:16.920 Have have you responded to it yet? How do you? 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:19.120 How do you respond to something like that? 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:23.600 Well? I don't know, and I don't feel like it's 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:26.600 totally fair, but I because all of this is going 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:29.440 towards Bella, like, even though we were equally involved in it, 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:31.319 I know that she's going to take most of the 0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:34.319 heat because she's their actual roommate. She's like legit friends 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:38.240 and knows, Like I'm pretty sure there's some traumatic story 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:41.360 to her relationship with her dad and everything like and 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:45.640 then he like died of some horrible like of COVID 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:48.680 or something like. It's a very sad story and she 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:50.480 was very beaten up about it. 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:55.160 And yeah sure, well okay, So if you believe that 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:57.600 Bella is about to take most of the heat, are 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:00.280 you going to stand up and say it was both 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.480 of us? 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:04.120 Oh? Yeah, And I've tried to say that as much 0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:07.199 as I can. But like I said, they're texting her, 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:09.280 they don't have my phone number, and they're not trying 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:11.400 to get my phone number. They it's almost as if 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:14.480 they're blaming her, and I can't even like I've said 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:19.160 it was both of us. I can respond to everybody, 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:21.600 but like they're still not really I think they've made 0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:23.600 up their minds. That's what I was saying. They think 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:27.360 it might be malicious. That's kind of the vibe I'm getting. 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:32.319 So you are in the absolute midst of this situation 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:36.160 right now, How do you feel about everything? 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:45.080 I am so terrified because like, while it doesn't it 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:48.720 doesn't like directly affect me because I don't live there. 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:51.880 I'm not even really friends with the Shelby chick. Like 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:55.360 I said, she's nice. I enjoy saying hey to her 0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:57.800 in passing when I go to her house to visit 0:12:57.840 --> 0:12:59.880 my sister, Like I don't really know her. So I 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:04.520 feel like it's a lot. I don't know. It's like 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:08.080 it doesn't directly affect my life in most ways, but 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:13.640 I just threw away her dad's ashes, Like I just 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:16.640 mentally am gonna have to live with that for the 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:19.079 rest of my life with no way to fix it, 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:23.760 and like no way for her to ever really feel 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:28.679 better about anything, Like it's always going to suck and 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:30.240 there's nothing to make it better, And I think that 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:35.760 makes it so much worse. There's not even a possibility 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:36.600 of recomplete. 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:39.840 I like that you're saying it's not going to affect 0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:48.040 your life at any way. Okay, let's your name again, Heath, Heath. 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:53.360 Have you thought at all, because because eventually, eventually, I 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:57.200 don't know, I mean, I thought this was longer ago. 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:00.679 I didn't realize this happens today. You will will eventually 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:03.960 be in a situation where you will have to face 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:10.520 this mother and this daughter who's uh father's ashes you 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:13.360 threw away. You will have to see them in person. 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:14.320 Are you prepared for that? 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:23.680 No? Nope, I that I think that terrifies me even 0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:26.000 more because honestly, I would expect him to just like 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:28.880 slap me in the face. And you know I don't 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:31.080 do it's violence very well. I'm not a violent guy, 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.640 so like that would be that's very terrifying. 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:36.840 Me getting slapped in the face. 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:39.280 But if somebody being so upset that they would slap 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:39.560 me in. 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:44.240 The face, have you thought about anything you could potentially 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:46.240 do to make things right? 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:53.080 Not to make things right, But my buddy gave me 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.600 an idea of like going to the local Humane society 0:14:57.280 --> 0:15:02.560 and then getting some extra ashes there and like putting 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:07.560 them in the box, and like the most horrible idea. 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:10.040 There's no way I could do that, but I am 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:12.080 like slightly considering it for some reason. 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:13.880 Yea, I was about to say, you sound like you're 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:15.480 considering this idea. 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:20.080 I really don't think I ever would do it, though. 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:26.160 By the way, I don't know if you can just 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:29.360 go to the humane society and get ashes. 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.960 Yeah, probably not. I'm probably oversimplifying that a lot. 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:39.360 I'm concerned about maybe why your friend knows this, because 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:40.800 it means he's done this before. 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:46.280 I was also concerned. But then directly after that is 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:48.560 whenever he's said to call you, and so I hung 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:50.360 up with him and didn't talk about it anymore. 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:55.080 Okay, Well, I feel like all I've really provided you 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:59.400 with is sixteen minutes in which you are dealing with 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:05.240 this situation in a retrospective, hypothetical sense, and not directly 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:08.040 face to face. I hope it's giving you some time 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:13.640 to think about how you might respond. I don't know 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:16.200 how I would respond. I am at a loss. I 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:17.840 don't know what the hell I would do if I 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:25.320 was in your situation. You know, am I a saint? 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:28.240 Would if I were in your position with the idea 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:31.480 of going to the Humane Society and trying to swap 0:16:31.520 --> 0:16:34.400 out this girl's dad's ashes for the ashes of a 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:38.120 golden retriever? Would that pop into my mind and stay 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:43.120 there for you know, at least ten seconds maybe? But 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:47.680 I also wouldn't do it. I don't have an answer 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:51.320 for you, Heath. You're kind of just going to have 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:54.040 to take the L on this one. You're a little 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:56.840 bit lucky that you're not having to take the L alone. 0:16:56.960 --> 0:17:00.560 You share the L with this other girl, Bella. What 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:03.640 have you been in contact with her? What's your conversations 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:04.240 with her? Been? 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:09.159 Like, Yeah, that's the main person I've been talking to. 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.679 She has been horribly broken up about it because, like 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:18.520 I said, they're friends, and you know, they are roommates, 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:24.280 and she knows them very well. So she's very broken 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:28.280 up about it, to the point where like she's she's 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:31.680 like sobbing constantly just thinking about it. Like I'm sure 0:17:31.680 --> 0:17:35.240 she's been crying for hours today. And I feel horrible 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:37.879 because like even though, like I said, we were equally 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:41.960 involved with it, but she's definitely going to take the 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:48.520 larger hit for sure, and I'm uncomfortable with where I'm at. 0:17:49.920 --> 0:17:53.240 Well, you seem like you're sort of I mean, you're 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:57.800 describing yourself to me as removed from the situation in theory. 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.760 In most ways. Yeah, that's why I'm kind of like, 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:06.080 I don't know. It's mentally, I'm trying to make it better. 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:08.240 But at the same time, I always come back to 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:10.679 the fact of the matter that it's it is really, 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:13.679 really horrible. So I'm like trying to maybe rationalize it 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:18.040 mentally about why it's okay and I wasn't totally the 0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:20.160 one to blame and I don't even have to bear 0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:24.320 most of the runt of it all. But I don't know, 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:26.440 I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:31.480 that through raised somebody's goad to ashes. Like the rest 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.879 of my life, I know that I did that. It's horrible. 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:35.639 What if somebody did it to me? You know? 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:43.040 Well, I think you're right in that you're not going 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:47.120 to find anything at the landfill, And all you can 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:54.240 kind of really do now is face these people head on. 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:57.240 You got to go and look them in the eye 0:18:57.760 --> 0:19:02.840 and feel those pretty horrible feelings, and then as far 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:08.760 as how to make things right. M you're gonna have 0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:11.960 to get creative. You're gonna have to think of some ideas. 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:15.000 They might have their ideas of how you can make 0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:22.600 things right. Maybe you might have to do some community work. 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:25.320 Maybe you find out about the father. What did he 0:19:25.520 --> 0:19:28.800 care about in his life and how can you contribute 0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:31.280 to the things that he cared about? You know what 0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:34.960 I'm saying. Was he a big I don't know, did he? 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:39.439 Was he a volunteer firefighter or something? And now you 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:42.520 got to go be one of those I'm just spitball here, 0:19:43.160 --> 0:19:46.960 but something like that. If I figure out what was 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:50.760 important to this man, ask them what was important to 0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:56.320 this man and how you can help carry on his 0:19:56.440 --> 0:20:00.359 legacy whatever it is. That's that's my one li little 0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:07.040 thing of how you can maybe right this wrong. What's 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.640 your name, Heath. I'm gonna let you go and take 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:11.800 care of this because I didn't realize that it happened 0:20:12.359 --> 0:20:17.000 five minutes ago. I'm sure your phone is blowing up, 0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:21.280 and I'm happy to have given you a brief suspension 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:25.600 from this reality, but it is time to dive back in. 0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:31.080 Alrighty. Well, thanks Lotle. I appreciate the chat. 0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:33.320 Is there anything else you want to say to the 0:20:33.320 --> 0:20:34.560 people of the computer. 0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:43.560 Before we go, Yes, I would like to say, you know, 0:20:43.840 --> 0:20:47.320 just even when you think you know stuff you don't, 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:52.680 you just never know. I thought it was cat litter 0:20:52.800 --> 0:20:56.040 or something and it was actually ashes, and I knew 0:20:56.080 --> 0:20:58.720 it for a fact that it wasn't. So you never 0:20:58.800 --> 0:21:02.600 know what you think you know. Harrison, I love you. 0:21:03.640 --> 0:21:11.399 Thank you for calling Heath hie to assume makes an 0:21:11.480 --> 0:21:19.800 ass out of you and me. Here's the thing. Here's 0:21:19.800 --> 0:21:25.720 the thing. I'll say this about the situation. They probably 0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:34.920 should have labeled the box or put it in an urn. 0:21:37.240 --> 0:21:43.640 I wouldn't put ashes in the same container that I'm 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:53.280 putting pretzels in. I'd get a different container. But more importantly, 0:21:55.680 --> 0:22:01.280 Heath should not say that to them in the confrontation. 0:22:02.800 --> 0:22:06.919 He can believe it, he can believe that that was 0:22:07.960 --> 0:22:11.760 not a great place for ashes, but don't mention that 0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:16.880 to the mom and the daughter, because then he really 0:22:16.880 --> 0:22:20.680 will get slapped. Hey is this Jack? 0:22:23.359 --> 0:22:24.959 Yeah? 0:22:25.040 --> 0:22:25.880 How's it going, Jack? 0:22:29.400 --> 0:22:32.040 It's going pretty okay. I thought i'd be more nervous, 0:22:32.280 --> 0:22:33.720 but like so far, I'm okay. 0:22:34.560 --> 0:22:36.199 Really, tell me more about what's going on in your 0:22:36.200 --> 0:22:39.080 body right now? How is the uh, how's your heart rate? 0:22:43.200 --> 0:22:46.960 It's it's okay, it's slowly going up a bit. I 0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:49.399 was actually just talking to a friend and it was 0:22:49.440 --> 0:22:53.480 pretty relaxing. I'm actually it's just now hitting me that 0:22:53.520 --> 0:22:54.800 I'm like actually talking to you. 0:22:56.520 --> 0:23:00.480 Well, Jack, I think I'm okay, how can I get 0:23:00.480 --> 0:23:00.840 you today? 0:23:02.119 --> 0:23:06.240 Well, I I don't know. I've been seeing a lot 0:23:06.240 --> 0:23:10.480 of things and I'm thinking a lot about what people 0:23:10.560 --> 0:23:13.240 have been saying to me, and I don't know, things 0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:17.119 just kind of seem a little odd, and then the 0:23:17.119 --> 0:23:18.960 world starts to like cave in on you and you 0:23:18.960 --> 0:23:23.320 start to spiral and then like you know, you eventually 0:23:23.320 --> 0:23:25.400 come back. But it's a little scary. 0:23:27.680 --> 0:23:31.199 Okay, that's you just said, like a lot of stuff. 0:23:33.840 --> 0:23:37.439 Yeah, I think a lot about how other people like 0:23:38.040 --> 0:23:43.040 perceive me and what they tell me, and like I 0:23:43.080 --> 0:23:45.040 go to I go to an actual therapist for that. 0:23:45.280 --> 0:23:49.280 But yeah, I've had like an anxiety kind of thingy 0:23:49.400 --> 0:23:51.560 for five years now that I've been dealing with. 0:23:52.880 --> 0:23:53.000 Well. 0:23:53.080 --> 0:23:55.760 Jack says here that your friends are telling you that 0:23:55.960 --> 0:23:59.800 they're scared of you because you see things that are 0:23:59.840 --> 0:24:01.840 not there. Is that accurate? 0:24:04.480 --> 0:24:07.800 Pretty much? It's more like there have been times where 0:24:07.800 --> 0:24:11.920 people have told me that they're afraid of me and 0:24:12.080 --> 0:24:15.159 that and then in addition, I've also been seeing a 0:24:15.200 --> 0:24:18.520 lot of things that aren't there that kind of adds 0:24:18.560 --> 0:24:20.440 on to it. Does that make sense? 0:24:21.040 --> 0:24:23.240 Why are people telling you that they're afraid of you? 0:24:26.480 --> 0:24:32.639 That's a really good question. It mostly happened in college. 0:24:33.880 --> 0:24:37.560 There was just like sometimes in conversation where like some 0:24:37.640 --> 0:24:39.679 of my friends would tell me that they're afraid of me, 0:24:39.720 --> 0:24:41.960