Speaker 1: Welcome to j dot Ill a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: So it looks like it looks like it looks like
Speaker 1: it looks like we've got somebody here. It is an
Speaker 1: absolute pleasure to have her. But before we tell you
Speaker 1: who it was, I would love for agent to tell
Speaker 1: the story of why her son was in tears. Talk
Speaker 1: to us. Okay, So I have an older son. He's twenty,
Speaker 1: he'll be twenty three now, but at the time he
Speaker 1: was in college. He was like maybe a freshman or
Speaker 1: something like that. It's probably eighteen or nineteen years old.
Speaker 1: And he was home from school and um, my daughter
Speaker 1: have a twin. Um, she's a twin And at the time,
Speaker 1: she was probably ten or eleven, and she came downstairs
Speaker 1: and she said, my where is I killed. I said, well,
Speaker 1: he's in the basement. But she looked like distraught, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, so I followed her in the basement because
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna find out why my baby is upset.
Speaker 1: So I'm walking around being nosy, like what she about
Speaker 1: to talk to him about? So she opens up the door.
Speaker 1: He's in the office. She opens up the door and
Speaker 1: she was like, he said, what's He was like you
Speaker 1: know what's wrong, And she said, now, mind you. I
Speaker 1: didn't know any what was going on. She says, I killed.
Speaker 1: I just watched the last episode of Stephen Universe, and
Speaker 1: she just started bawling and she sat next to him
Speaker 1: and they just hugged and cried. And I was like,
Speaker 1: what are y'all watching? Like I'm in in a panic,
Speaker 1: Like what has my children so emotional? And honestly, I
Speaker 1: had never had no idea that he had been watching
Speaker 1: it since it started airing, and that he was such
Speaker 1: a big fan and had introduced the show to my
Speaker 1: young to my daughter, and that she had been watched
Speaker 1: the whole season and then was like distraught at the
Speaker 1: very end of it. So that's what um started me
Speaker 1: watching the show. And when I started watching the show,
Speaker 1: and then I realized that our guest it's actually on
Speaker 1: the show, and I started to listen to the voice,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I know who that is, And then
Speaker 1: it just opened up a really wonderful conversation between me
Speaker 1: and my baby, and I just will always and forever
Speaker 1: remember that and just thank her for that. So please
Speaker 1: introduce our guests. Jill Powerful impact boom from a cannon
Speaker 1: from Okay ladies and gentlemen where we're on with a
Speaker 1: spell right now. This is this is a it's a
Speaker 1: multiverse of a stell talking about Hi, Hi, you and
Speaker 1: me out here in tears. I'm like, it's it's a
Speaker 1: Hi fower girl, pleasey get your flowers because she leaves
Speaker 1: get these flowers. As you know, she started as an
Speaker 1: m C. And then she's singing and then and then
Speaker 1: it's like everything just took off. I mean, I know
Speaker 1: it doesn't work that way, like it isn't an overnight process,
Speaker 1: but the fact that today you can literally do anything
Speaker 1: that you want. It's the multiverse of that we're talking
Speaker 1: about today. Okay, wow, Yeah, I'm just on it to
Speaker 1: be here, Like I'm really in tears right now. That's
Speaker 1: like this is a lot to be in a place
Speaker 1: to let these black babies feel all their feelings. Yeah yeah, man,
Speaker 1: it really is. It's an honor like it really is. Man.
Speaker 1: I wanted to be got it to be selfish to
Speaker 1: a degree. Everyone was telling me your voice is distinctive,
Speaker 1: you should do voice overs, and I was like yeah,
Speaker 1: then like offin like after hearing MC light on every
Speaker 1: single thing running for like a year, servis it was like,
Speaker 1: you should do voice overs. I was like, okay, well
Speaker 1: then I want to do voiceovers. I want to do
Speaker 1: voice overs. And I started being my team in the
Speaker 1: head like get me a voice over, get me a
Speaker 1: voice over. And I was like, why do you want
Speaker 1: to do voice over? You do the music. Just focus
Speaker 1: on the music. I was like, look, I got so
Speaker 1: much family overseas, and it was selfish with me, like
Speaker 1: I say like, oh, I just want my nieces and
Speaker 1: nephews to hear my voice. Literally, I was like, I
Speaker 1: just want them to hear it because I'm they're not
Speaker 1: moving here, and I want them to know what Auntie
Speaker 1: sounds like. I come from a big family, loads of women,
Speaker 1: like it's very like, very feminine, but like and I'm
Speaker 1: a auntie like a thousand times over right. So I
Speaker 1: was like, I want them to know what at least
Speaker 1: I sound like, you know, like, because they're not gonna
Speaker 1: see me every day, so it is something that they
Speaker 1: can watch. That was my my core reason. So I
Speaker 1: was like, give me a voice over. I want a cartoon,
Speaker 1: and I want a cartoon, get me a voice over something.
Speaker 1: And then Rebecca heard this song I did called Freak
Speaker 1: Rebecca's Sugars, the creator of Seeming Universe, and she's a fan.
Speaker 1: She loved the record, She loves video and she was like, yo,
Speaker 1: I just love what you were doing. It was very strong,
Speaker 1: it was powerful. And remember when I made the song
Speaker 1: and I did it, I just like to be I
Speaker 1: wasn't thinking about the community. I wasn't thinking about not me.
Speaker 1: I was just like, yeah, it's be fire, it's hot,
Speaker 1: and I want to write something about feeling empowered as
Speaker 1: a woman. You know, like when people are telling you're
Speaker 1: too sexual, you're to this, or you know you're quite quiet,
Speaker 1: but you're not supposed to be a freak. If you're quiet,
Speaker 1: you're not so you know, man, whatever, all of that
Speaker 1: that's what freaks about. Like I can be a freak
Speaker 1: every day, every week, you know, like I'll give it
Speaker 1: you however you want it. That's that's the vibe of
Speaker 1: the song. And she saw the video and she remember
Speaker 1: dreaming about what the video would look like. One night.
Speaker 1: I was really trying to think. I write all my
Speaker 1: treatments and my songs and my videos, and I remember dreaming,
Speaker 1: I said, oh, I see, I see what it's gonna
Speaker 1: look like. So I wrote, I scribbled down the image
Speaker 1: of what became Garnet to the video director, and I
Speaker 1: said to him, like, it's gonna be like this. She's
Speaker 1: gonna be like a school teach of teaching their kids
Speaker 1: how to like express it in a freaks there in
Speaker 1: a flag, they're in a woman, right, And then you know,
Speaker 1: we made the video and she said she based Garnet
Speaker 1: on the look of me in there with my hair
Speaker 1: and the big square hair like I had a bob
Speaker 1: and the big glasses I was wearing and all the stuff.
Speaker 1: So when it came time to ask me to be
Speaker 1: part of it, it wasn't hard. It was like, you know,
Speaker 1: like you know, you get it, you understand it. The
Speaker 1: character was named Garnet. That's my bust on my favorite
Speaker 1: colors purple. It was so many signs of like you
Speaker 1: went to the cartoon, here you go. You know. I
Speaker 1: was like, right, the thing in all the ways I
Speaker 1: could show you clearly this is for you. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I could do this. And then the characters, like they
Speaker 1: didn't tell us any of the storys. It just told
Speaker 1: us the characters. And I was like, well, what did
Speaker 1: she do and she's like, well, it's them, And I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, what does them do? Um she said,
Speaker 1: was they take care of all the different crystals like
Speaker 1: your big sister. I was like, oh yeah, I'm definitely
Speaker 1: that I could do that. That's easy. It's not gonna
Speaker 1: be hard to find the emotion there, and so I
Speaker 1: did it. It was just easy and selfishness really, you know.
Speaker 1: But when I think about it, it's like your core,
Speaker 1: you're cooling, your cool person who you're supposed to the thing.
Speaker 1: The purpose right kind of just pulled up on our father.
Speaker 1: You called you called to it. Yeah, y'all are ushering
Speaker 1: in a totally different, emotionally intelligent group of of of
Speaker 1: young people, completely further down the road than we would
Speaker 1: ever have expected with language that we that that needed
Speaker 1: to exist is really amazing. And from an Afro futurist perspective,
Speaker 1: to have um that image in front of young people
Speaker 1: and saying the things and doing the things. Someone said
Speaker 1: up in an interview They asked for record interview like
Speaker 1: why make her black? Why make her woman right? And
Speaker 1: she said, well why not? Everything else is white and male?
Speaker 1: Like we need some you know, like there is this
Speaker 1: is why not? This is what it really is and
Speaker 1: why not? I was just like, and this is why
Speaker 1: I'm on this sucking show. That's right, because then why not,
Speaker 1: you know, like everything, why they are not. I just
Speaker 1: thought about it, and as like I said at the beginning,
Speaker 1: I had no clue what the stories would be, what
Speaker 1: the real context of the show was. As I kind
Speaker 1: of started, it started unfolding and the l g b
Speaker 1: q T I A community themes were unveiled. It was
Speaker 1: just like madam honored. I'm an ally first up and
Speaker 1: second of what. I'm honored too to be able to,
Speaker 1: like you said, give language to it for somebody. I
Speaker 1: never had it when I was a kid. My friends
Speaker 1: who are gain never had it when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: I was just saying, the community never had it when
Speaker 1: there were kids, And I'm just like, well, I can give.
Speaker 1: I can be a part of helping somebody feel feel human,
Speaker 1: feel except to feel wanted to feel loved. I'm about that.
Speaker 1: I'm about that. I feel exactly what I was about
Speaker 1: to say that It's so human, it's so touching, it's
Speaker 1: so emotional, it's spiritual. The music is incredible, just incredible,
Speaker 1: like brib Vosis like for Real to arc and arc
Speaker 1: and Art and arc and and you know, to to build.
Speaker 1: What I think is the most important thing you know
Speaker 1: in a in a career is to have longevity, to
Speaker 1: be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want,
Speaker 1: however you want for the long run. You said it
Speaker 1: like you gave us the decades, Ja Jail, you gave
Speaker 1: us the decades about what you should be doing and
Speaker 1: how you should be doing. And I'm like, on the money,
Speaker 1: exactly that you said. The folies, I felt like was
Speaker 1: for when you want to do it, or like working,
Speaker 1: when you want to work? How how are you how
Speaker 1: you want? And that's exactly where I'm at right now
Speaker 1: for me too. But I feel like I was like, yo,
Speaker 1: I'm on parf Okay, I'm good. I'm not crazy, you know,
Speaker 1: because you mentioned like two things you said this role
Speaker 1: has a lot to do with like who you are
Speaker 1: in your family. I think what you're the second of
Speaker 1: nine and you did this for your nieces and your nephew.
Speaker 1: So you gotta tell us, like what's the family? What
Speaker 1: do they think? What they're saying? They just love having
Speaker 1: Anti Stelle on TV, hearing my voice and then being
Speaker 1: like that's Anti. I remember that They sent me a
Speaker 1: video like two three years into it, and I'm a
Speaker 1: I'm a weeper. I've learned now I cry all the time.
Speaker 1: I never knew it before. I was like thirty five,
Speaker 1: and then I hit thirty five and it was like
Speaker 1: who works, And like, I feel like I look at
Speaker 1: that video and I cry every five minutes, like every
Speaker 1: time I saw it, because I was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: my goodness, like they really do know it's my voice
Speaker 1: like it, you know. And then, like I said, I
Speaker 1: feel like in order for us to like, just as
Speaker 1: humans move forward, we have to give. We have to
Speaker 1: start raising the kids in a way more inclusive, in
Speaker 1: a human way, right. And I'm just, like I said,
Speaker 1: I'm just honored to be a part of what that
Speaker 1: looks like. Like we did something amazing with that. I
Speaker 1: didn't even know what I was signing up for, you know.
Speaker 1: I was kind of like just I was just like,
Speaker 1: this is good. I caught my dream, I caught my wish. Okay, God,
Speaker 1: you said bigger than me? Cool, cool, cool, more real
Speaker 1: talk after the break, Well, ma'am, I'm here. I'm here
Speaker 1: with one of your your bands. And it still has
Speaker 1: been so sweet over the years. Sending sending side things
Speaker 1: from Garder and it just has been very, very lovely,
Speaker 1: and we just wanted to thank you. The little boy
Speaker 1: that you talked to then as become this guy. Let
Speaker 1: me see, it's about to scare me by that boye.
Speaker 1: It's deep. How are you? I'm great? How are you?
Speaker 1: I am amazing? It's so good to see you again.
Speaker 1: Do I mean it's just grow look a yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess I feel special. I get I get like a
Speaker 1: guest appearance from the one I only I don't know
Speaker 1: what you're saying. The first we've never got. It's not
Speaker 1: on the show. I am so honest, and it's so
Speaker 1: peopful to speak to you, sweetheart. You look incredible. You're
Speaker 1: having a good sunday. You are jil Well does mean
Speaker 1: it's like it's like looking at two faces. Thank you.
Speaker 1: I'll do it. That one of the fourground, one of
Speaker 1: the backgrounds. The problem. Oh, he would killed problems. That's
Speaker 1: what he is that I killed. He reminds me so much. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what that is. He really doesn't remind him. Grew
Speaker 1: well done. He was trying so hard to control his
Speaker 1: voice because you know we're there, so is the voice
Speaker 1: pre stage stored answers because you know it does what
Speaker 1: it does, and he didn't want he didn't want that. Yo.
Speaker 1: I'm curious because says Joe Barjette on, like, how do
Speaker 1: you how do young folks been responding to you when
Speaker 1: he comes to the show, since you're whole parades for
Speaker 1: this woman. Okay, yeah, it's there. If you don't know,
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, if you don't know about this wonderful show,
Speaker 1: if you don't know about Stephen Universe and you've been
Speaker 1: get involved. It is. Um. It is as healthy as
Speaker 1: any television show in the history of television. It is
Speaker 1: good for the heart, it is good for your intentions,
Speaker 1: it's good for the spirit. It's good for understanding other
Speaker 1: human beings. UM, without without judgment. Um. It is is
Speaker 1: absolutely beautiful and we're sincerely proud of of you. Thank
Speaker 1: go ahead, thank you, thank you. I feel like even
Speaker 1: the impact even on young people has extended to to
Speaker 1: adults because I don't know this for a fact, but
Speaker 1: I just want to say this really quickly. I was
Speaker 1: obsessed with that show Lovecraft Country, and that was a
Speaker 1: really particular episode called the I Am Episode, which talked
Speaker 1: about black women in our evolution. And I'm sorry there
Speaker 1: was a depiction woman in the future that was absolute,
Speaker 1: and I was like, listen, somebody, and I wanted to
Speaker 1: mention that because to take because that image is that powerful,
Speaker 1: that that as adults in an adult show where adults
Speaker 1: will be watching that, they of all of the images
Speaker 1: of what they felt the black woman would be in
Speaker 1: an infinite future, they chose the image of garning good God,
Speaker 1: I am sorry. That to me was transcending. That's that's
Speaker 1: when you know you've done something that has transcended simple light.
Speaker 1: So I know that's not that's not a question, that's
Speaker 1: a comment. I want to I want to ask you
Speaker 1: to hear what you think about that and how you
Speaker 1: responded when you first realized that the flooded. My texts
Speaker 1: and my d m s and my my tweets were
Speaker 1: being flooded. And I was like, what do you? What
Speaker 1: do you because I okay, so I'm I'm a punk.
Speaker 1: I don't watch scary things. I don't watch because I
Speaker 1: will dream about right, I really will, Like you know,
Speaker 1: with ay, as we absorbed, right, so then you did,
Speaker 1: it comes back out or as I jump out of
Speaker 1: my sleep, that's how it comes back out. And I
Speaker 1: don't like that. So I just decided to stop a
Speaker 1: while ago, so I don't watch Lovecraft Country. I watched
Speaker 1: the clips and I saw the pictures, the text, the
Speaker 1: d m s, the clips, and I was just like,
Speaker 1: hold this. Look at I literally just like, well look
Speaker 1: at this. Look God couldn't make this up. I couldn't
Speaker 1: make this up. Like cool, thank you. And that's I
Speaker 1: was like reposted it and saying thank you, like God,
Speaker 1: it's good. Like I didn't make this up. I didn't,
Speaker 1: you know, I was giving it in a dream and
Speaker 1: it became this. I just played my part. I just
Speaker 1: I followed along and I played the part that I
Speaker 1: was given to play. And and you know, it's me.
Speaker 1: It means something to someone beyond me. It means what
Speaker 1: we do every day means something to somebody beyond us.
Speaker 1: And then this means a lot to a lot of people,
Speaker 1: you know. And I'm just again, I'm just happy to
Speaker 1: to play, to be here, man, I'm like, this is
Speaker 1: I'm saying here like three seconds from ball and every
Speaker 1: time I stopped talking, So this is just like that's
Speaker 1: what we do. Welcome, Welcome to the baby party, Happy
Speaker 1: free boobs and real tears a regular basis Yeah, we're
Speaker 1: gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: So there is one question and that is a step. Yes,
Speaker 1: what's on your heart? Ah? Oh today, don't need to rush,
Speaker 1: take your time. Oh my goodness, the day was today
Speaker 1: is good so far. I was just reminded. I was
Speaker 1: at church this morning. I was just reminded, and it
Speaker 1: keeps going around in my head. So I was just
Speaker 1: reminded to like of all the things, with all the
Speaker 1: things that we do to get us wherever we go,
Speaker 1: like prayer is a powerful way to do it right.
Speaker 1: And and because you know, like there's like all the
Speaker 1: different I believe in everything. I believe in the ancestors,
Speaker 1: I believe in all of the things. I believe that
Speaker 1: God made it all. But the point is God made
Speaker 1: it all right. So today I was just like sitting
Speaker 1: in church and just got reminded like of like particular
Speaker 1: moments where I was going through all the processes. I
Speaker 1: was in front of my all every day, and I
Speaker 1: was praying every day, and I was missing the key thing,
Speaker 1: which was like in the name of Jesus, which was
Speaker 1: like I had decree and I declare, which was calling
Speaker 1: in the blessings and it was just it punished me
Speaker 1: in the face this morning, like at at church, this
Speaker 1: one it was just like, yo, you're forgetting that you
Speaker 1: know the detail and to and to say it with conviction.
Speaker 1: You know, you're forgetting that this is this is what
Speaker 1: brings in the blessing. This is what brings in the thing.
Speaker 1: And I don't want no no fluffy and the thou
Speaker 1: thou prayers. He just wants you to talk say the thing.
Speaker 1: And so always been a lot of things in my
Speaker 1: personal when I'm just like, oh, so I can't wait
Speaker 1: to be married, when my husband, I want my baby,
Speaker 1: I'm ready for my kids, I'm ready for the I'm
Speaker 1: ready for this the next side of my life to start,
Speaker 1: you know, to or to to to bloom. And I've
Speaker 1: been frustrated about that. So this was like a reminder like, yo,
Speaker 1: I hear you, I hear you. I need you to
Speaker 1: do one thing for me though, you know, so this
Speaker 1: is what's been in my heart. It's just like for
Speaker 1: anybody that needs it, like you know, declare it. Be
Speaker 1: clear about what you've got to be clear about the
Speaker 1: things that I put in your heart. They're not there
Speaker 1: for no reason. It's yours you know. That's that's it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love the idea of decreeing and declaring h because
Speaker 1: it's like there's so much power and the things that
Speaker 1: we say, and it's like we have to say the thing.
Speaker 1: I remember sometimes I would pray in my car, just
Speaker 1: talking like I just have a whole conversation, and I
Speaker 1: had gotten into this mode where all I understood to
Speaker 1: do was ritual prayer, or all I understood how to
Speaker 1: do was to have be on my knees or have
Speaker 1: my hands a certain way or being a certain place.
Speaker 1: And I identify with um the idea of what it
Speaker 1: is you're saying, how you're saying it, and being really
Speaker 1: intentional about that you know, and you know, regardless of
Speaker 1: whatever your faith is, I think it's really important to
Speaker 1: be specific about what you say and you know, and
Speaker 1: how you say it, and and being you know, open
Speaker 1: to the fact that you're thinking these things, saying the
Speaker 1: saying the thing and thinking the thing kind of different,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's the specifics. For me,
Speaker 1: it's it's the specifics, like paying for specifics. You want
Speaker 1: what you want to be like ridiculously specific about what
Speaker 1: it is and honest. Okay, Amen, anybody could pray for
Speaker 1: a for a husband or spouse or mate and get
Speaker 1: something absolutely terrible. Get it, but you have to be
Speaker 1: specific about it. A while, a lot of our sisters
Speaker 1: are really paying attention to the net worth or gross,
Speaker 1: you know, paying attention to what this person has or
Speaker 1: doesn't have, you know, just to shout out to remember
Speaker 1: the character of the human being you're talking about with,
Speaker 1: because that comes, um, that's what that's that's the meat,
Speaker 1: that's the that's the part that's gonna get you full
Speaker 1: in bed and replenished. Okay, it could be or it
Speaker 1: could be the way or to say it in or
Speaker 1: whatever it else, you know you want to call it.
Speaker 1: But I'm just gonna go ahead and call it to meet.
Speaker 1: But it's good. It's good for you too, to be specific,
Speaker 1: because we are women of a certain age, and we
Speaker 1: all know what we want and what we don't want,
Speaker 1: and so why not go ahead and tell God, like
Speaker 1: to all I've learned from lessons. Yes, So I'm not
Speaker 1: asking for what I asked for two or three years
Speaker 1: ago God, because I'm listening and I'm learning, Yes, God,
Speaker 1: I yes, you know what I mean. And then really
Speaker 1: being specific and saying like, well, yeah, you want a husband,
Speaker 1: you want to a partner, you want to want the
Speaker 1: best friend, and you want to laugh with them. You
Speaker 1: you want them to be open to uh, the things
Speaker 1: that you say. You want them to be able to
Speaker 1: learn from you and from them. Like it's just I
Speaker 1: love them. I personally love the process. I don't love
Speaker 1: the process of let me not get a twist. I
Speaker 1: don't know the process of being single and having to
Speaker 1: ask these questions. But I do love the process of
Speaker 1: learning from myself and my actions and asking from now
Speaker 1: and knowing what I want. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I did say, I did the US before. I just
Speaker 1: I don't want my house, but yeah I'm my husband.
Speaker 1: I wanted to and I did the general right, and
Speaker 1: then this dude team along and I remember feeling like
Speaker 1: after like a week of being around and being like, I, huh,
Speaker 1: this this can't be this can't be it. This, this
Speaker 1: ain't the model that you wanted for me. Jesus right,
Speaker 1: This ain't this ain't the Tesla kid out that ots
Speaker 1: for right. No, right, this is this is the Ford.
Speaker 1: It was because you let me, let me can I
Speaker 1: can I interject a little bit one this one I
Speaker 1: now has been married for three thousand seven four. She
Speaker 1: also has se nineteen children well with her with her
Speaker 1: HU also at twenty orgasms a week, so we see,
Speaker 1: and it's the lines for me. But a week. Look,
Speaker 1: I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'm gonna.
Speaker 1: I'm a client. It's a lot of that's a lot
Speaker 1: of orgasm taking parties ahead. Sorry, so that's a nice,
Speaker 1: good amount. That's a good amount. You put seven days.
Speaker 1: You just vide that and carried it on. Okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: I love it. I mean, but I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say this about the uh, partnership. It's not marriage, right,
Speaker 1: that's what Those are two different things, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Different than when I said that. That was that right
Speaker 1: your nails when you said two different things that the
Speaker 1: metaphor was just like back the metaphors. I broke that nail.
Speaker 1: So there you go. So there's a with that language correct,
Speaker 1: Asia will do what I said then I said partner.
Speaker 1: I didn't say husband. When I said partner, I would
Speaker 1: say partnership. And the reason why those things are different,
Speaker 1: the reason why those things are different and not because
Speaker 1: the intent is different. It's because of what we've done
Speaker 1: to these things, how we created institutions and not been
Speaker 1: attached things to them make us look at it in
Speaker 1: a general way that is aside from what we know
Speaker 1: love to be. Because we assigned love to certain spaces.
Speaker 1: We say love lives in this space, and this space
Speaker 1: is space, and if we don't get access to that space,
Speaker 1: we don't qualify it as love. And so love and
Speaker 1: how it exists in a partnership is not specific to marriage.
Speaker 1: If you want to be married, that's great. You want
Speaker 1: to be partnered with somebody, that's a different thing. And
Speaker 1: a partnership can exist in a marriage, but a marriage
Speaker 1: can exist without partnership. M So that and so I
Speaker 1: think it's important to think about these things and and
Speaker 1: and the ways in which partnership lasts is its ability
Speaker 1: to be flexible, to evolve, to change, and it cannot
Speaker 1: be rigid. So as you pray for partnership, you have
Speaker 1: to pray for the ability to be open. That you're
Speaker 1: not gonna know what to ask for specifically about every
Speaker 1: little thing. You will not be and you're not even
Speaker 1: capable of making that prayer because love does not exist
Speaker 1: in that binary way. Love exists in all many, many,
Speaker 1: many ways, and it's important to honor it in all
Speaker 1: the places it comes because if we focus on it
Speaker 1: as this place that can only exist in that spot, right,
Speaker 1: then we mess with our sense of worthiness. So if
Speaker 1: you don't get access to that spot, then it means
Speaker 1: you're not worthy of love, and that's not true. So
Speaker 1: you're that the idea that we have, these ideas about
Speaker 1: what love is, and if it doesn't suit the idea
Speaker 1: that we've established, then we don't recognize it as love
Speaker 1: amen marriage. And so I think, and I think, I
Speaker 1: think it's important to allow it to be the fluid
Speaker 1: thing that it is, so that then if you don't
Speaker 1: ever get access to marriage, that you can see love
Speaker 1: and its abundance in your life in all the ways
Speaker 1: in which it shows up and nurtures and feeds you
Speaker 1: that it is. And I know, coming from me, that
Speaker 1: is saying okay, yeah, for you, you can say that,
Speaker 1: but let me say this to you. Marriages fall apart
Speaker 1: even when they don't end. What so what you may
Speaker 1: be looking at a marriage that has lasted and you'll
Speaker 1: be thinking, oh, yeah, that's what I want, and that
Speaker 1: thing could be in shambles see still, can I ask
Speaker 1: you a question in this moment as you are listening
Speaker 1: to Asia talk, because I don't know about you, but
Speaker 1: meeting you both the single girls here with the no babies,
Speaker 1: so I feel like sometimes listen to Asian Jill talk,
Speaker 1: We've grown up on a certain thing that Asia just acknowledged, right,
Speaker 1: this whole idea of marriage, husband and this is what
Speaker 1: this is what your goal is, and stuff like that. However,
Speaker 1: we are also conscious individuals, and we have people in
Speaker 1: our lives, like these two women who will let us
Speaker 1: know the truths of these institutions. Not just them, we
Speaker 1: have playing people that are alive to tell us the
Speaker 1: truths of these institutions. However, in our inner body parts,
Speaker 1: our inners are fighting. Our inners are fighting with what
Speaker 1: we know to be true and what we also have
Speaker 1: been pushed who has been pushed into our little girl
Speaker 1: bodies since we got our first Barbie doll or whatever
Speaker 1: the doll baby was. So I'm just am I wrong?
Speaker 1: It's still feeling You're not wrong. Listen, I think, uh,
Speaker 1: two twelve, when I got when I went home, this
Speaker 1: is an example from then to now two twelve and
Speaker 1: go home to see my first niece for one like,
Speaker 1: so we do the last tradition forty days where you
Speaker 1: have the baby and the mother at home for forty
Speaker 1: days and then you do a ceremony. And I went
Speaker 1: home to see my first little sisters having her babies
Speaker 1: for a day. And I'm there with like women heavy, right,
Speaker 1: women heavy, And one of my outheries is like, you
Speaker 1: ain't had a baby, just have a baby. And I
Speaker 1: said to lady two things. Um, I can call you
Speaker 1: lady now because I feel like I'm grown right. Um.
Speaker 1: I was just like, lady, you don't even know where
Speaker 1: I live. Second of all, I'm don't I'm not doing
Speaker 1: this on my own, Like what do you mean, just
Speaker 1: have a baby. And I think to myself, ten years later, Okay,
Speaker 1: she's she said it wrong, But I understand where she
Speaker 1: was coming from with it as being a woman, as
Speaker 1: being able to make that decision for myself. It shouldn't
Speaker 1: be held up on anything or anyone else right, or
Speaker 1: anybody's version of events, or whether I want to this
Speaker 1: when we live in a whole day for an age.
Speaker 1: But the thinking behind it is what had me like, girl,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it. I'm not not I
Speaker 1: don't want you. I can't do this on my own.
Speaker 1: I'm not able to write, and had me and are
Speaker 1: holding pattern for a very long time, like not not
Speaker 1: that I couldn't have had a kid or whatnot, but
Speaker 1: had me myself arrested if it didn't go with this
Speaker 1: particular way, in this particular format, with this particular guide,
Speaker 1: and I don't want it, and I'm scared to do it,
Speaker 1: like no, it's only take it's taking me this long
Speaker 1: to get new files to understand that, like you said, age,
Speaker 1: it's love, It's all around us. If I want it,
Speaker 1: it is there now. I do still believe I need help, okay,
Speaker 1: because you do. I'm tired, righty, But I'm no longer
Speaker 1: afraid of the idea of you know, having a child,
Speaker 1: that the help won't be there, that the help and
Speaker 1: the love won't be there, and the help will be
Speaker 1: just it just made come in the pack of you.
Speaker 1: Thinks exactly right, that's exactly it. But hearing that when
Speaker 1: I was thirty two and like everything was so uncertain
Speaker 1: and then this lady was coming to tell me this,
Speaker 1: like who don't even know where I live in the
Speaker 1: United States, Like even though she's my family. I said,
Speaker 1: you're not flying out to help me. You're not coming out.
Speaker 1: My mama has like twelve other kids to take girls.
Speaker 1: She ain't she'll come, but she staying, you know, how
Speaker 1: would I do this? So I just agree, and I'm
Speaker 1: want to say, I'm grateful because you're giving me extra
Speaker 1: new files. You're giving me new files to kind of
Speaker 1: quill and quiet the old files that don't work for
Speaker 1: me anymore at this stage in my life, you know,
Speaker 1: like just take me in. Yeah, like, because that's what
Speaker 1: I think, especially, and I'll say it's like in our life,
Speaker 1: like we you know, we need new files. We're not.
Speaker 1: We're not thirty five, We're not we need new files.
Speaker 1: I don't have a big ship. Oh we will. I
Speaker 1: don't have a big existence. So I'm listening to you talk,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's how this goes cool. Thank you.
Speaker 1: I'll take the bitst I work for me, and maybe
Speaker 1: the bits that don't work right now we'll work in
Speaker 1: the future. But right now I'm listening and I'm grateful.
Speaker 1: I really am. Like I listened to the podcast every week,
Speaker 1: so you know, because I love Yeah, We're so grateful
Speaker 1: to have you here, and so exceptionally proud of you.
Speaker 1: Go lie continue to lie for me personally, Um, I
Speaker 1: just think that you're the sweetest. You've been the sweetheart
Speaker 1: since we've met, like, and it's in an industry where
Speaker 1: a lot of people are sweet for the moment, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. You have been very consistent and
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful for that. Here's the deal for me, friends,
Speaker 1: when it comes to prayer, I do not ask for anything.
Speaker 1: I thank God for everything so in in in my specifics,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm thinking, I'm thinking the creative for this moment.
Speaker 1: We're having strong, powerful women who are also vulnerable, who
Speaker 1: also are funny and love to have a good time,
Speaker 1: and that are growing. I'm very grateful for that, and
Speaker 1: we're very grateful for all of you listening to j
Speaker 1: dot Elga podcast. We thank you so much. Please take
Speaker 1: good care of yourselves. You fine, amen, Hollelleen. Come on
Speaker 1: how Do You Eat an Elephant? One? By? It time,
Speaker 1: Hey listeners, it's Amber the producer. Can we take a
Speaker 1: moment and just appreciate how sweet and vulnerable a style
Speaker 1: is in this episode and in life. In today's how
Speaker 1: Do You Eat an Elephant? Segment, I want you all
Speaker 1: to get into her character Garnett on Steven's Universe. You
Speaker 1: can stream episodes or watch the movie on Hulu, HBO, Max,
Speaker 1: Apple TV, and Prime Video. Hi if you have comments
Speaker 1: on something he said in this episode called eight six six,
Speaker 1: Hey Jill, if you want to add to this conversation,
Speaker 1: that's eight six six nine five four five five. Don't
Speaker 1: forget to tell us your name and the episode you're
Speaker 1: referring to. You might just hear your message on a
Speaker 1: future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents
Speaker 1: Jay dot Il. The podcast JA dot Ill is a
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast from I
Speaker 1: heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.