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Speaker 1: Motherfucking many year, so many episode, motherfucking many years. Yep, yep, yep,

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Speaker 1: there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome

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Speaker 1: to another phenomenal mini episode of My Mama Told Me,

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Speaker 1: the podcast where we died deep into the pockets of

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Speaker 1: black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove the

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Speaker 1: theories that you pieces of ship have at home. We

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Speaker 1: were talking about another email that I think, uh folks

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Speaker 1: got excited about a email that came to us very secretively.

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Speaker 1: I would say, like, not a lot of information about

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Speaker 1: the center of this email, but the subject the headline

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Speaker 1: is white aliens. White aliens is where we're at. And

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Speaker 1: this person starts off by saying, what up. My crackers

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Speaker 1: didn't care for that one bit. Don't not not yours,

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Speaker 1: not ever hear me. We call you cracker, You don't

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Speaker 1: call us crackers that call me, You don't call me.

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Speaker 1: Uh he said, So, first off, I'm a member of

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Speaker 1: the white devil race, so we guess being that, I

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Speaker 1: don't think I'm allowed to talk about YouTube. But let's

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Speaker 1: be honest, it's not like I can get canceled, so

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Speaker 1: onto the conspiracy. I'm not you. You gotta respect the

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Speaker 1: white person who owns their power. Yeah, he really like

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Speaker 1: um the Kimba tumbo finger in our face, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. He's like when the funk YouTube about Oh,

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Speaker 1: can we have this debate very quickly? Okay. My wife

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Speaker 1: is of the belief we we made a reference to

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Speaker 1: to moon crickets and bust down being silly and also

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Speaker 1: like as a very like a derogatory. We're making fun

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Speaker 1: of it. We called a person, uh, Freddy's character, We

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Speaker 1: called him a greasy lipped moon cricket and I said

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Speaker 1: it very passionately, a great actor. Please, uh that said.

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Speaker 1: My wife heard that and was like, I think moon

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Speaker 1: cricket sounds like a beautiful phrase like that. She honestly

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Speaker 1: believes it to be like kind of a compliment to

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Speaker 1: be referred to as a moon girl. And I've been

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Speaker 1: trying to explain that, like, ma'am, I don't think that's true.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, but it sounds so pretty. It's a

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Speaker 1: cricket like singing to the moon. That's nice. No, it's

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Speaker 1: a no no no no no no, no, it's bad.

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Speaker 1: It's worth noting that she didn't keep the greasy lipt

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Speaker 1: attached to it. She's not. She's strictly referring to moon cricket.

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Speaker 1: Greasy lift was our audition. Okay, listen, No, you can't,

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Speaker 1: don't go. It's gone too far for that. That phrase

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Speaker 1: is dead. You can't. You're not taking it back. It's

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Speaker 1: just it is what it is. I'll tell you this,

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Speaker 1: and this is a very true thing. She has actually

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Speaker 1: turned her bio on Instagram into into essentially what is

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Speaker 1: the the emoji translation to moon cricket with hearts all

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Speaker 1: around it. It's a moon and then a cricket and

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Speaker 1: a bunch of hearts exploding around. Because she's like, this

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Speaker 1: is beautiful and I'm gonna keep it in a perfect world. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: in a vacuum. I understand. Those are two beautiful words

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Speaker 1: to put together on the street smoke. Come on, man,

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Speaker 1: you're saying there's too much history there for a lot

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Speaker 1: of words, a lot of a lot of a lot

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Speaker 1: of racial offens are pretty nigga. That's ah that sings beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Other ones that I don't want to get into because

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Speaker 1: for fear I will be canceled. Sure, I I think,

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Speaker 1: I think I guess my question, or rather, what what

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Speaker 1: comes to mind is there also was the first person

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Speaker 1: to be like, I'm gonna make nigga pretty, and I'm

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Speaker 1: sure they were met with similar sort of like uh

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Speaker 1: anti nigga hate, you know what I mean? I don't

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Speaker 1: think so. I think it's a pretty harsh word and

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Speaker 1: generals double consonance is wogan. But I'm saying that, like,

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Speaker 1: there was we were sure, we know, but there was

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Speaker 1: a person who was like, I'm gonna make it ours

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be the first to do that, and

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Speaker 1: I'm saying that they were not. Do you think happen?

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Speaker 1: How do you think it happened? Otherwise there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of internalized racism right right right, But I'm saying, Okay,

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Speaker 1: at some point, one person went from being a person

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Speaker 1: who was being called a nigga to then being like,

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Speaker 1: I I'm a nigga right right right right right right

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Speaker 1: right right right, and that means cool. Right. One person

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Speaker 1: had to make that choice first, and then a tidal

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Speaker 1: wave of different people responded in good and bad ways.

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Speaker 1: But that there had to have been a pioneer of nigga.

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like it was just to find is that.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it was a much more gradual descent

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Speaker 1: into niggadum. Wow, so you don't like giving you don't

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Speaker 1: like giving our ancestors their flowers? I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: a christ mad complicated. Now, I don't think it's that complicated.

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Speaker 1: I think Rosa Parks did that. But ship first, and

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Speaker 1: there was a nigga man before any of you you

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Speaker 1: copycats showed up. There was one I'm wearing this ship.

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Speaker 1: It was like, that's my fucking cape. And people were like,

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Speaker 1: this man might be the craziest motherfucker ever. This thing

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Speaker 1: is crazy. And they were like, oh no, what if

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Speaker 1: I said I like it? Yeah? Oh that felt good.

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Speaker 1: I think I like you all right, Yeah that's fair.

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Speaker 1: So I think I think there's an argument to be

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Speaker 1: said that my wife might just be a pioneer of

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Speaker 1: sorts and and we'll all be calling each other beautiful

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Speaker 1: moon crickets uh in a matter of a decade. We

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Speaker 1: gotta shorten it though it's too many syllables, like oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: what I've see that kind of works out? It does,

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Speaker 1: and you don't want to just be called cricket and no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: cfter this see what he does to say? If he's

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Speaker 1: like he's like him, do you think that he's aware

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Speaker 1: of of moon cricket as a as a phrase yet no,

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Speaker 1: hell yeah, so yeah, I call him a moan cricket.

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Speaker 1: See what he does. Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do

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Speaker 1: it in a text like what's his name? Martin be

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Speaker 1: like Martin, you you're a moon cricket to me, Man, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I love you. I love you, and I think you're

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Speaker 1: a moan cricket. And he'll be like, damn, that's a

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Speaker 1: beautiful day. Yeah, that feels nice when you say, Okay,

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Speaker 1: we got we we simply have to do this email. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's what I forgot about it. I forgot about it.

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Speaker 1: We have this email that that we were sitting on

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Speaker 1: that we won't refuse to finish. But he said, uh,

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Speaker 1: he said, so we can't get canceled, he says, so

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Speaker 1: onto the conspiracy theory. While growing up, I was always

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Speaker 1: told by my very racist family, the white people, that

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Speaker 1: white people were aliens that came and colonized Earth and

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Speaker 1: black people were the original inhabitants. There was also so

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Speaker 1: much more, uh so much more racist shit about this

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Speaker 1: that I didn't feel comfortable saying. While I never believe this,

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Speaker 1: I do have some questions, like where the funk do

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Speaker 1: white people come from anyways? What country did we originate from?

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Speaker 1: Every country has an indigenous population, Every country has a

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Speaker 1: story of being all peaceful and enjoying mother nature. Then

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Speaker 1: white he shows up and fox up everything. Also, Elon

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Speaker 1: Musk is black. We don't claim that, motherfucker. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: alien child. There's a lot going on here. Yeah. No, you.

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Speaker 1: First of all, you try to unload Ellen on us

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Speaker 1: right at the end. That that felt wild, Like I

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Speaker 1: love a good bit. I'm a silly motherfucker first and

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Speaker 1: four most, but you chill the funk out about Megan Ellen.

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Speaker 1: If anybody is an alien second a hold, that doesn't

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Speaker 1: make any sense because like humans, they're still humans. M hmmm, right,

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Speaker 1: Like you're saying that aliens who had the exact same

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Speaker 1: genetic makeup and build but we're just white, came to

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Speaker 1: this planet and that's stupid. I don't know, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: think this guy is a stupid I think he's a

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Speaker 1: stupid person. I like to play the game a little

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Speaker 1: bit more than you do. I I would say this.

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Speaker 1: I think that if in fact we were to make

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Speaker 1: the argument that white people are aliens, then then we

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Speaker 1: could also make the the argument that because so much

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Speaker 1: of of our conversations around genetics and and our physical

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Speaker 1: forms and ship was documented by white people. I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to say originated by them, because that's not true,

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Speaker 1: but certainly documented in terms of like its current version

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Speaker 1: of like circulation and popularity. There's an argument to be

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Speaker 1: made that they have been convincing us they have the

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Speaker 1: same genetic makeup as us, when in fact they know

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Speaker 1: very well from their own research that there are differences

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Speaker 1: between our forms. What are the differences between white and

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Speaker 1: black people? I don't know. I That's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I'm not the doctor, and I'm not You're not gonna

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Speaker 1: try me and be like, well, you know, we just

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Speaker 1: jump I. I. That's not what I'm arguing. I'm merely

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Speaker 1: saying that, like if I'm a white alien trying to

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Speaker 1: pass as human, I would tell you that we have

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Speaker 1: the same genetic makeup when in fact I had some

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Speaker 1: other ship going on. Again, I'm not going to get

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get wrapped in this hell circle of

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. I'm saying that's it's crazy to me because

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Speaker 1: like they just came here already out It's like nuts,

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Speaker 1: and why did they come here and colonize. If they

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Speaker 1: had the if they had the technology to go from

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Speaker 1: wherever they were to hear, why did they not implement

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Speaker 1: any of that technology when they got here? I mean,

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Speaker 1: but I think I think there's an argument to be

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Speaker 1: made that maybe they didn't get here that effectively right,

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Speaker 1: that like, oh, you think it's like a crash landed.

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Speaker 1: I think the way that like the fucking Pilgrim's barely

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Speaker 1: made it here and and couldn't get back, so they

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Speaker 1: had to turn into weird like fuck the king and

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Speaker 1: queen people, you know what I mean, like they they

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Speaker 1: that's how white people could have ended up on this planet.

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Speaker 1: It's like you think they like crash like it was

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Speaker 1: a long arduous journey. Yeah. I think they showed up

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Speaker 1: in a mayflower ass spaceship and the people took care

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Speaker 1: of them, yeah, and indigenous people and ship, and and

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Speaker 1: then eventually they just were like, all right, we got

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Speaker 1: enough people, we we can start changing some ship around here, okay.

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Speaker 1: And I think if they I don't know that I

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Speaker 1: believe any of this. I just I get high and

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Speaker 1: play the game, baby, because people isn't it just people migrated?

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Speaker 1: Although though you do think like Indigenous people, even in

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Speaker 1: cold climates, are darker skin, right, They in fact are

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Speaker 1: are our tan. There's a lot of and I think

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Speaker 1: to this this aliens point, there are indigenous people of

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Speaker 1: all of these lands that have either been pushed out

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Speaker 1: or erased, and then we have been led to believe

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Speaker 1: that this is like white land, when in fact that's

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Speaker 1: like biologically that can't be true. Damn, damn. That is

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Speaker 1: kind of facts. And I'm not gonna go down a

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Speaker 1: list of the various lands because that's gonna get us

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Speaker 1: in the most, but we could get in. Is it

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Speaker 1: worth yea here you know, I don't know. I don't

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Speaker 1: think it's smart to be like those people don't belong there.

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Speaker 1: They It's like, no, sir, I'm gonna start where I'm at.

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Speaker 1: But I will say that, yeah, there's there's very few

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Speaker 1: places where we know for sure, like Boom Earth from

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Speaker 1: the ground this is where white people. Yeah, even Caucasian

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Speaker 1: is a it doesn't even refer to an area where

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Speaker 1: white people would be from. I believe, if I'm not mistaken,

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Speaker 1: Caucasian is like a Asian thing that it it like

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Speaker 1: refers to like some some Caucus mountains in like Asia, somewhere. Listen,

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Speaker 1: oh Indo Iranian. Okay, yeah, I knew. I was like

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Speaker 1: our our producer Hans he says, yeah, it's it's not

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Speaker 1: even a white place. And they got the whole title

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Speaker 1: of Caucasians even though they ain't got nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with them. That is a good point. Where are white

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Speaker 1: people from? I don't damn this ship. I'm coming back around,

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Speaker 1: all right, talk to me, Talk to me, just like

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Speaker 1: where are they? Where are they from? Where did they

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Speaker 1: come from? There's a great question. Nobody else's white like that.

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Speaker 1: Why are they so white? Yeah, the rest of the

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Speaker 1: world made a different choice. What was that new with

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Speaker 1: Joe and blonde hair and an adults to which we've

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Speaker 1: We've done an episode in the past where I know

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Speaker 1: for a fact that blonde hair and I believe it's

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Speaker 1: blue eyes are both recessive traits. It's not even like, uh,

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Speaker 1: their mutations that were born far later down the line

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Speaker 1: and are super rare. It's not like it's a common

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Speaker 1: thing the way that it sort of gets presented to us,

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Speaker 1: right Like it's actually like super recessive and sup per

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Speaker 1: mutated from the original like human genome and ship. I've

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Speaker 1: always said that people are freaks. You take that, you

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Speaker 1: take that, however, that's up to you. Big dog. I've

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Speaker 1: always said that you ever met a blond a dog?

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Speaker 1: It's crazy. You're like, you're just out here voting. They

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Speaker 1: let you vote, Okay, not in my booth, but I

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Speaker 1: I ain't. I couldn't volunteer this year. But but when

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Speaker 1: I'm bad. Wait, he's saying Aryan people, not Caucasian people.

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Speaker 1: Aryan people an oh okay? So so wait? Oh wait,

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Speaker 1: I'm confused Caucasian with oh okay, yeah, greater caucus reaches

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Speaker 1: is what it refers to, and that would be Russia,

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Speaker 1: Georgia and Azerbaijan Okay, okay, okay, okay, So white people,

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Speaker 1: I I don't know and and frankly, I don't feel

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Speaker 1: comfortable calling anybody an Azerbaijani. Uh. I don't know enough

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Speaker 1: about what that means to be took my bike to

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Speaker 1: be thrown? Where was he? I think you're going to

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Speaker 1: jail you pieces. You can't call him? Wait? So Caucasian

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Speaker 1: unrelating to or characteristic of, one of the traditional racial

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Speaker 1: divisions of human kind, marked by fair to dark skin,

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Speaker 1: straight to tightly curled hair, and light to very dark eyes.

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Speaker 1: And originally inhabiting Europe, parts of North Africa, Western Asia,

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Speaker 1: and India. So basically just Langston. Yeah, that doesn't describe

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Speaker 1: that describes all people, that's all. It's real. Uh, just

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Speaker 1: the big old mush of of whatever was available. It

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Speaker 1: makes me nervous that we can't find receipts on where

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Speaker 1: white people started. Yeah, that does seem like gives credibility

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Speaker 1: to this conspiracy theory that that there's no like real origin.

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Speaker 1: So I would assume Greenland or or you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. It just that seems like as white as

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Speaker 1: you could. Yeah, it's the same energy. I would say,

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Speaker 1: I don't they don't. They probably don't talk to each

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Speaker 1: other that often, but I bet if they met up there,

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Speaker 1: like oh you wear blue clogs and I wear uh,

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Speaker 1: I wear red ones. But but we just saying, so

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Speaker 1: that's where white people started. But did people start there?

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Speaker 1: People started in Africa? We know that, right, And then

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Speaker 1: we know that migration happened. So people started spreading out

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Speaker 1: and pengeas starts breaking apart, and so the the spread

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Speaker 1: then makes it so that like you are trapped on

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Speaker 1: these uh pseudo islands of your own making or and

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Speaker 1: then people learn to sail, and that's why, like sailing

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Speaker 1: is why Europe advanced so much faster, right, because it's

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Speaker 1: so clostal that you can sail from place to place

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Speaker 1: and then encourages trade and stuff. Where's the coast of

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Speaker 1: Africa are like a lot more difficult. There's not a

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Speaker 1: lot of natural Yeah, I think at a certain point

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Speaker 1: that right, Yeah, being landlocked was was a disadvantage to

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Speaker 1: the point that like you you truly we're behind generationally,

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Speaker 1: at least in in certain types of competition, right, But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know so so they was just people migrated

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Speaker 1: and then got lighter as they went. They just, uh,

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Speaker 1: I guess if you could be darking that far north,

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Speaker 1: then why did anybody get white? Yeah, I think I

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Speaker 1: guess the suggestion would be there are indigenous people who

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Speaker 1: continue to populate with themselves and thus stayed darker, whereas

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Speaker 1: like the white people that traveled, they're like kept sucking

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Speaker 1: other lighter. Yeah, they were, but only for themselves. And

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Speaker 1: maybe that's part of it. It's like we just all

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Speaker 1: want to funk what looks like us, and that's how

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Speaker 1: you make a white person. Oh maybe people do people

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Speaker 1: do tend to meet with people who look like them.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm, Like even facially, you ever noticed that a

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Speaker 1: lot of people, a lot of couples look like Yeah.

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Speaker 1: One of the more painful moments of my of my

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Speaker 1: life is meeting my my wife's grandmother for the first

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Speaker 1: time and her being like, y'all look alike, and then

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Speaker 1: me just having to wrestle with that feeling for the

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Speaker 1: rest of the day. Oh, that's very It's very common

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Speaker 1: that most couples look like Yeah, but this is this

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Speaker 1: is before we're married. This is just us dating, and

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Speaker 1: that that starts to feel like, oh, no, I have

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Speaker 1: I made a terribly vain choice, and I just trying

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Speaker 1: to fund myself and and that's all. This is kind

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Speaker 1: of thing. Ultimately we all are I think so, and

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Speaker 1: and I I made peace with it. Me and my

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Speaker 1: uh and my handsome wife. We we be just fine,

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Speaker 1: you know. Oh man, that's that's a good thing though.

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Speaker 1: That means you're healthy. Yeah, I'm just a normal guy

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Speaker 1: who wants to look at a lady who looks like me.

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Speaker 1: You just want to fall asleep staring into your own eyes.

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Speaker 1: That's there's nothing wrong with it. But yeah, I do

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Speaker 1: think that it it's sort of is that right, that

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Speaker 1: we just sort of I had an agent once who

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Speaker 1: owns like a farm explained to me that, uh that

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Speaker 1: she actually like has chickens on her farm, and that

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Speaker 1: when the chickens hatch, they will naturally separate themselves from

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Speaker 1: like the yellow chickens to like the brown chickens. Like

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Speaker 1: they'll just like form little groups and like hang out

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Speaker 1: with each other. And it's like, god, damn. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: not saying I'm not saying which one is my favorite,

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Speaker 1: but but yeah, I think I think we just all

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Speaker 1: like to funk what we look like. And so there

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Speaker 1: was probably like a light skinned dude who sucked a

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Speaker 1: light skinned lady and then they their light skinned kids

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Speaker 1: fucked the lightest of them until you fucked until also

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Speaker 1: but also some of us are adventurings, and they'll put

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Speaker 1: it in anything. Mm hmm. You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: mm hmmmmmm. Some of us, some of us ladies open

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Speaker 1: anything if we could get real quiet and real serious

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Speaker 1: for a second. Some of us ladies, even the weird

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Speaker 1: even the weird ship trying. I think we I think

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Speaker 1: we saw this. Yeah, I think I think they feels

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Speaker 1: very possible, certainly, and and I'm committed to it. And

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Speaker 1: I thank you white person for white alien, thank you

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Speaker 1: white devil for your your sacrifice and and uh, and

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Speaker 1: we're grateful for you sending this and we wish you

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Speaker 1: the best. We hope that that you are able to

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Speaker 1: take advantage of your alien ship, uh, your alien hood

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Speaker 1: as it were. They're doing fun. Yeah, yeah, but you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't want you guys to lose anything. You like,

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Speaker 1: you're up against a big wall. I think I think

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Speaker 1: they're losing ground right now. I think I think the

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Speaker 1: West is falling to the Africa's a new frontier. But

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Speaker 1: that's for a new week. That's a difference. That's a

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Speaker 1: different episode by land in Africa. BORI, do you want

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Speaker 1: to tell the people where they can find you and

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Speaker 1: what cool should you have going on? You can find

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Speaker 1: me a cool guy jokes seven on Instagram. You can

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Speaker 1: also go there because I don't have a list of

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Speaker 1: where I'm at right all right? Hell yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: got some stand updates Dallas, San Francisco, Uh, Montana. Oh

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Speaker 1: hell yeah, he's got other ship. He's got some things

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Speaker 1: around listen. Most importantly, I would say we have a

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Speaker 1: live show coming up on February six at the Allegian

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Speaker 1: Theater and and here in Los Angeles, And if at

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Speaker 1: any point you want to buy tickets, do that ship.

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Speaker 1: Why not? It's my mama told me live. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: have guests, we're gonna have games, we're gonna be doing

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Speaker 1: our usual shenanigans and also some very in face in

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Speaker 1: person shenanigans. And you can buy tickets both for the

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Speaker 1: live show to be in the room. And and I

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Speaker 1: think I'm not I'm not speaking out of turn here

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Speaker 1: that we're also going to be doing a live stream

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Speaker 1: of the show and we're gonna make that available on

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Speaker 1: moment House. So if you wanted to see the show,

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Speaker 1: even from your own home, see me and David do

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Speaker 1: our bullshit, and you can. You can buy tickets on

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Speaker 1: a moment house or buy tickets in person. And as

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Speaker 1: always you can you can follow me at lengths in

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Speaker 1: Kerman and go subscribe to our YouTube hang out bullshit

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Speaker 1: whatever that is, and uh, all right as it by bitch,

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Speaker 1: motherfucking many years, so many episode, motherfucking many years, So

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Speaker 1: motherfucking many years, so many episode, motherfucking many EPISO