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Speaker 1: Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Alchemy.

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Speaker 1: This I'm your host, James Heathey, taking the place of

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Speaker 1: Kevin Chester today. Let's meet our alchemists in alphabetical order.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to go forward to day with the order.

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Speaker 1: All right, we're gonna start with a tool. A tool?

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Speaker 1: Would you rather, hello, tool? How are you got a

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Speaker 1: question for you? Good? Good question? Would you rather do

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Speaker 1: a two man show with a clone of yourself or

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Speaker 1: a full eight person show with everybody being clones? If

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Speaker 1: you you can dress up the clones with little silly hats,

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Speaker 1: you can tell it in. Uh, two person show with myself.

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Speaker 1: That's that's enough of me for everybody, and you don't

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Speaker 1: need more of that. And I like two person shows

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Speaker 1: as it is as a format. Uh So that's all

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Speaker 1: the time I actually allotted for your answer. But that's

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Speaker 1: thank you, Chris. Are you more of an art museum

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Speaker 1: fan or a science and industry museum man? Are you

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Speaker 1: mad at us? I'm not mad, I'm just hosting serious.

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Speaker 1: I'm serious. Yeah, you feel like a like a like

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Speaker 1: a sixty minutes like like you know, it was like

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Speaker 1: it was very professor. Would you believe that I actually

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Speaker 1: this is the second group of questions, I wrote because

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Speaker 1: last night when you told me to be careful for

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Speaker 1: the length of the scene, I was like, well, my

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Speaker 1: questions are too long, so I'm just trying to keep

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Speaker 1: it on point. Chris, can you like art museums more?

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Speaker 1: Or do you like science and industry museums more? Just

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Speaker 1: answer damn questions. You need a little bit of why

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Speaker 1: I like art museums more. Thank you very much for

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Speaker 1: great That's a good answer, Craig. This is important because

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Speaker 1: I don't have that many opportunities to ask you a

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Speaker 1: question like this, but I need to know. Well, first,

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Speaker 1: how are you? Are you fine? Good? All right? What

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Speaker 1: the hell does have your cake and eat it to mean?

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Speaker 1: Because what else do you do with it? Like? What's

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Speaker 1: the phrase supposed to inspire in me? This is actually

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Speaker 1: one of the few things that Ted Kazinski got right,

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Speaker 1: because the phrase should be you can't eat your cake

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Speaker 1: and have it too. It's reversed, meaning once you've eatn

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Speaker 1: your cake, you no longer have it, so you can't

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Speaker 1: do both things. You can indeed have your cake and

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Speaker 1: then eat it. So the phrase, the phrase that we

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Speaker 1: know is wrong, and this is how they caught the

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Speaker 1: UNI bomber, which is why I made the reference, because

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Speaker 1: Ted Kazinski was the UNI bomber, but I wasn't sure.

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Speaker 1: Well spoilers, but he is uh And in his manifesto

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Speaker 1: he used the phrase you can't uh what's the right

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Speaker 1: one cake and eat it too? And it makes me

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Speaker 1: mad when I hear it. How wrong the un bomber was,

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Speaker 1: and I think he's I think that's one of the

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Speaker 1: things that his brother RECOGNI that was a dead giveaway

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Speaker 1: because he was pedantic about phrases like that. That's hilarious,

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Speaker 1: it was. The phrase is originally attributed to somebody in

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Speaker 1: the French Revolution, joanah arc or you're thinking of Marie

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Speaker 1: and Triette saying the French Revolution. Alright, so this question

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Speaker 1: is coming to Jackie. Jackie, welcome, How are you today.

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Speaker 1: I'm a little nervous, but I'm good. You know what

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Speaker 1: You and me both okay. I got a question for

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Speaker 1: you though, And this is an improv like this superpower

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Speaker 1: you couldn't take off stage. Would you rather have the

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Speaker 1: ability to read other people's minds or on stage be

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Speaker 1: able to send subliminal messages that only they could hear

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Speaker 1: their mind? I think sense of little messages. I think

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Speaker 1: hearing them would get me too much in my head

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Speaker 1: and now I'm plotting, but sending a little messages then

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Speaker 1: they can help me because sometimes I have things that

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Speaker 1: are stuck and I can't get them out. I can't

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Speaker 1: figure out how to get them out, so maybe they

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Speaker 1: can help me do that. So so Jackie, so you'd

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Speaker 1: be like like talking like this, and then you go like, Chris,

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Speaker 1: I'm actually your niece at the farm like that. So

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Speaker 1: I would be like clear for me, and I'm like, oh, welcome,

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Speaker 1: set the farm like that. That's not how you not

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Speaker 1: how I was thinking. I was thinking more like, sometimes

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Speaker 1: I have an idea and I can't figure out how

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Speaker 1: to manifested, how to make it make sense to other people. Well,

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Speaker 1: unfortunately the problem is that you'd be sending out very

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Speaker 1: scattered thoughts. You know what, I'm not saying that you

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Speaker 1: have clear I trust, I trust my because that's that's

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Speaker 1: pretty liminal. That's not subliminal, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: It's liminal. I want to send limital messages. Alright, Joe.

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Speaker 1: I know that you're known for having long um responses,

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Speaker 1: and I and I don't have a lot of time

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Speaker 1: for it today. In fact, we're trying to sell time.

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Speaker 1: Are you playing with the box? I'm here a place.

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Speaker 1: There's my microphone has a little tiny thing about him

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Speaker 1: to I keep accidentally hitting. But Joey, here's the How

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Speaker 1: are you doing it? I'm good? Great, awesome? It's ten

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Speaker 1: minutes early is five minutes late? What time should you

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Speaker 1: really arrive? If ten minutes early is five minutes late, okay,

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes earlier, then that's the time. Fifteen minutes early,

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Speaker 1: but then that's on time. That's right. Do you said

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Speaker 1: ten minutes early, seven minutes late? Yeah, alright, so that

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Speaker 1: makes sense. It was way more straightforward than I expected

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Speaker 1: you to give. So we've met all the alchemists and

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Speaker 1: what qus No, the other ones took a long time

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Speaker 1: to read out loud. So all of today's suggestions come

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Speaker 1: from listener emails. And if you want priority getting your

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Speaker 1: suggestions up on the list, well, then you should consider

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Speaker 1: becoming a Patreon v I P member or even an

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Speaker 1: alchy maniac. There's tons of great benefits, including bonus scenes. Now,

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Speaker 1: if you want that, go ahead, head on over to Alchemy.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Patreon dot com, slash alchemy this or if

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Speaker 1: you'd like to submsicine suggestion the traditional way, you can

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Speaker 1: email us at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 1: That's great. So the first scene suggestion it on today

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Speaker 1: is from Jay Barton, and I don't typically like to

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Speaker 1: spoil the scene suggestions, but I'm gonna cut to the

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Speaker 1: end where it says, ps as kissing goes here make

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Speaker 1: a juicy or Kevin won't read your email, which sounded

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Speaker 1: is strange because I was like, well, that's at the end,

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Speaker 1: he would have already read it. But nonetheless, here's the

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Speaker 1: email from j Martin. Hello Kevin. My last suggestion was

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Speaker 1: too long and this made is angry. I've made this

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Speaker 1: one shorter. There's this guy and he goes to the movies.

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Speaker 1: He's watching a movie when the guy next to him

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Speaker 1: spills popcorn. The first guy forgot to buy popcorn beforehand,

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Speaker 1: but it's cool because now he's got floor popcorn to

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Speaker 1: graze on. At first, he's happy, but then he gets

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Speaker 1: a bit angry because the other guy is sitting next

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Speaker 1: to him. He's not worried about social distancing or anything,

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Speaker 1: just that the guy's feet are in the way of

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Speaker 1: his popcorn. Anyway, the movie kind of sucks and the

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Speaker 1: other guy up the back has fallen asleep and his snoring.

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Speaker 1: No one's worried about this because they have snacks. A

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks later, one of the guys orders a

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Speaker 1: hot dog online but never gets delivered. He hires a

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Speaker 1: private investigator to track down the hot dog. Unfortunately, man,

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Speaker 1: we're almost there. We're alost there. Uh an auto correct

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Speaker 1: error brings a private investigator to his door. Long story short,

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Speaker 1: I lost my toenail. Not sure if the hot dog

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Speaker 1: was ever found. Anyway, My scene suggestion is second hand

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Speaker 1: olives yours forever scene suggestor the is a good olives.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you right now, these are good. These are good,

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Speaker 1: and and you think that the quality is high? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: they I mean, trust me, they wouldn't be put back

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Speaker 1: into a container, you know what I mean, unless they

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Speaker 1: unless they weren't legit. So I'm doing a picnic, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. But a special special someone. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so like a boss you're trying to get a raise

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Speaker 1: or something kind of but like romantic, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. And so I can't afford the you know,

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Speaker 1: I can't afford the good stuff, But if I can

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Speaker 1: get the good stuff at a good price. Got you

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Speaker 1: got you, got you? Okay? Okay, yeah, so you want

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Speaker 1: then then follow me? Okay, holy shit, you like these? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: These are all the real olives. You don't want these?

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Speaker 1: So okay, yeah, keep Yeah, I made out alive. Come on,

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Speaker 1: keep following me. Jesus those puppies. Yeah, can I touch him?

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Speaker 1: They made out alives? Here a right, let me just

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Speaker 1: open this trunk, master, master, I'm back to work. Okay,

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Speaker 1: before you get back to work here, let me just

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Speaker 1: pull out the zip luck back here, spit up some

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Speaker 1: olives in there. I should do it. There you go.

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Speaker 1: Some of them have pitts, so yeah, all right, you

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Speaker 1: can bring that back the front of the Yeah. Did

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Speaker 1: you not see who just spit them up? What was

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Speaker 1: that thing? What was that thing? That's an olive? Boy?

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Speaker 1: All right, yes, my friend okay, from the island of Crete. Okay,

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Speaker 1: they don't make him like that tomorrow. Okay. Uh oh,

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Speaker 1: he just his trunk he asked to Yeah, he's tell

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Speaker 1: it to it. We have Rudy him brought him there.

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Speaker 1: So that so the original soil from the island, so

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Speaker 1: it's kind of where he hangs down. He doesn't need

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Speaker 1: natural sunlight at this points fully grown. So just bring

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Speaker 1: that up to the check out be able to get

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Speaker 1: you out of there. And did you do anything else? No?

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Speaker 1: I think this will do it. Thank you, so learning anything.

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Speaker 1: I love paraphernalia. You don't needy olive Now I'm just

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Speaker 1: hoping that this hope, I hope she can recognize the quality,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Of course you really don't

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Speaker 1: need anything else, all though, for real little olive plate.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe in olive plate. Yeah, what's an olive plates?

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Speaker 1: And look at this? Okay, come on, just follow me.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, well we're getting this boat. Oh hello,

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Speaker 1: are you here? Yeah, we're here. Bow man all right,

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Speaker 1: so just ah that he's free. Don't give him water

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Speaker 1: because it is free. Okay, the person's all right. Do

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Speaker 1: you have a do you do you have like a

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Speaker 1: gold coin? Do I have a gold tess about it?

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Speaker 1: Here's two gold coins. Don't put him up so normally

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Speaker 1: alive plates, but we got are so nice. Well this

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Speaker 1: is nice. Thank you. You went above and beyond. I

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Speaker 1: thought I thought you'd like it was yes, yes, fancy shmancy.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking, what if I got a corresponding plate

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Speaker 1: for every food item. You know what I mean, like baby,

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Speaker 1: so thoughtful, thank you, thank you? Fuck yes yes? Um?

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Speaker 1: Well and olives dave along on the olive plates. Do

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Speaker 1: you know that? I'm sorry, I gotta do this. I'm

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Speaker 1: gotta do this because you know me and words pitted

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Speaker 1: olives can refer to olives with pits or without pits.

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Speaker 1: It's so frustrating because words should just mean what they

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Speaker 1: mean and not their opposite. That's so sexy, that is

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Speaker 1: so sexy. Geez, I've got way more moved. I've started

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Speaker 1: semi monthly. I think that's my phone because we're on

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Speaker 1: to get my periods in my monthly. Okay, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: check my phone out quick. Um. Oh shit, someone's at

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Speaker 1: the front of the park. I gotta meet someone real quick.

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Speaker 1: In front of the park. Well, yeah, you know how

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Speaker 1: we parked down there and then we walked up here. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we gotta walk all the way back to the fuel.

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Speaker 1: You just relax, you just relax, give me one second.

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Speaker 1: Oh hey, you just in here by yourself. You can

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Speaker 1: some moll up. So yeah, waiting for my boyfriend. Waiting

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Speaker 1: for my boyfriend in a number of ways. How long

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Speaker 1: you all have been dated? Two years? Two years. You're

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Speaker 1: not engaged. No, I know right right? That ain't right.

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Speaker 1: Do you want some of these olives? They're pitted? What

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Speaker 1: does that mean? I don't know. You could go either way. Well,

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Speaker 1: I can't have I have very soft teeth. Okay, my

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Speaker 1: teeth are like gum. Let me see, let me see.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god? Yeah, Hey, what's up? We can't get

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Speaker 1: all the photography equipment down for the proposal unless we

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Speaker 1: bring this cart. And uh, I didn't realize the park

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Speaker 1: was so far. What where's your crew? You have a crew, right,

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Speaker 1: I'm just a one guy photo guy. Uh. Can can

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Speaker 1: you use a drone? I don't have a drone? I

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Speaker 1: got in this cart. Can you help me carry? I'm sure.

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Speaker 1: Just tell her that it. Just tell her you met

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Speaker 1: me and I needed some help. I'll be She won't

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Speaker 1: even notice me when I'm taking pictures. Okay. So the

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Speaker 1: plan will be when we go back up there and

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Speaker 1: I say I got a message to meet someone that

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Speaker 1: someone who as is to meet someone, My text went off,

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Speaker 1: all right, Well, I'll put this, I'll put this hat

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Speaker 1: and this fake mustache on, and then and then she

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Speaker 1: doesn't recognize you anyway. She doesn't know who you are

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Speaker 1: point here you put this. Okay, Wow, that's weird. Your

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Speaker 1: your teeth are soft, but your gums are like rock hard,

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Speaker 1: kind of like an inverse. Oh god, I've been I've

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Speaker 1: been tested on my entire life. Really. Yeah. Did you

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Speaker 1: hear that park door open? I think so. It's it's

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Speaker 1: pretty distinctive sound. You have the electrodes on your head?

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah. I gotta keep him on Wonderful seven. They

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Speaker 1: paid my rent. Well, I help you with some of

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Speaker 1: these olives because I don't know if he's coming back

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Speaker 1: or what. Oh. The number one issue we have it

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Speaker 1: here is either leaves on the path or dog pooped

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Speaker 1: hasn't been picked up. So that's where we contribute the most. Okay,

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Speaker 1: here's okay, thank you for your time. Excuse me, sir?

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Speaker 1: Can we help you? Sir? Can we help you? I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm on the phone. I just get who are you

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Speaker 1: trying to? Sir? Sir? Come back. Sometimes you'll get some

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Speaker 1: park weirdos. Don't worry about them. They usually mind their

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Speaker 1: own business. Okay, I just want to be clear again.

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Speaker 1: You know I'm I'm a recent retiree and I'm not

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Speaker 1: looking for hard work, just something to spend my time.

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Speaker 1: It's it's not too hard, as you know, Rachel. It's

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Speaker 1: just every once in a while you do have to

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Speaker 1: bend down to do so. Like, I'm so sorry. I

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Speaker 1: don't know who else to tell, but there's some fucking

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Speaker 1: creep taking photos. It was a fucking creep oh over

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Speaker 1: there by, but I got him free taking photos. I

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Speaker 1: don't know who to tell, but he just does what

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Speaker 1: does he try? He's got a hat and he looks

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Speaker 1: like his a fake mustache on top of his mustache.

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Speaker 1: He has a mustare Calm down, sir, Okay, these are

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Speaker 1: pretty good angles over here, right, she looks beautiful. She's

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Speaker 1: talking to Oh. I don't know. Maybe that's her dad.

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Speaker 1: I've never met her Dad's probably her dad. How would

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Speaker 1: her dad noted me? It's at the park for this picnic.

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Speaker 1: I've never even met her a lot less her dad.

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Speaker 1: Good point. Jeez, you're smart man. Thank you? Do you

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Speaker 1: do you mind stepping a little closer. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if she'll notice me, but I want to make sure

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Speaker 1: that I get both of you and focus. Oh actually, oh,

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Speaker 1: these pictures of her and her dad are really really good.

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I don't mean to interrupt. Um, I

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Speaker 1: do work for the parks here, and I've been hearing

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Speaker 1: a comple paint about what's going on here, and I

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Speaker 1: just want to make it clear. You're not allowed to

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Speaker 1: photograph other people's strangers at the park and allowed to

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Speaker 1: hide in bushes while you bore. Um. So I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: a photographer. These guys whore going to age. She's gonna

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Speaker 1: pop the question. You see that wan there? Who's kissing that?

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Speaker 1: So they're getting engaged and you guys, oh, you're you're

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Speaker 1: right like touching your touching your teeth with my tongue

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Speaker 1: like they were like gums, right, yeah, yeah, well you

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Speaker 1: know again, just for science, that's why we did that.

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Speaker 1: It's just for that is crazy. Okay, I'm gonna I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna hand feed you in olive. Close your eyes, close

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Speaker 1: your eyes, and you tell me, oh god, she's hitting

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Speaker 1: feeding him. That can't be your dad him me and

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Speaker 1: you look like a Rachel. Yeah, Rachel? Have you ever?

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Speaker 1: I was going to propose to that woman over there.

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Speaker 1: I got her the best all of us I could afford.

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Speaker 1: I got her the best ring I gotta afford. I

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Speaker 1: brought her to this park because it's free, and I

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Speaker 1: just want to tell her I love her, but she

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Speaker 1: seems to be with someone else. Um rule, can you

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Speaker 1: can she illegal? That's nothing that I can enforce, and

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Speaker 1: so you can enforce us taking pictures in the I'm

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Speaker 1: a photographer. You cut a lot of corners on on

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Speaker 1: some of the important things. Buddy, Yeah, you're right. Maybe

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Speaker 1: she deserves to be with that guy. Yes, Calamata, how

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Speaker 1: did you know? I just tell I tell excuse me.

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Speaker 1: I'm the park ranger and we've got some complaints about

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Speaker 1: some p d A from this picnic. So if I

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Speaker 1: can ask barrier, ye, no public displays of function. I've

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Speaker 1: heard that joke before. It wasn't a joke. I'm very

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Speaker 1: precise with language. I'm very precise with lane which as well.

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Speaker 1: There's multiple different ways to to extend an abbreviation. Wait,

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Speaker 1: she's getting into like a really intense conversation with another man.

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Speaker 1: What is happening? What? Who is she? You're seeing this? Right?

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Speaker 1: I'm seeing? Can I offer you some services? I'm a

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Speaker 1: retired mental health counselor and I mainly do family mediations

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Speaker 1: some couples there. What what do you? What are you

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Speaker 1: gonna do? You can help chalk it out if you wanted.

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Speaker 1: Why don't you go to traumatic? Why don't you talk

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Speaker 1: to her? See that's the thing though, when you're the

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Speaker 1: um counselor you you have to be a third part.

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Speaker 1: The whole point of view is that you're a third

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Speaker 1: party that's not investing it. You're just there to listen

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Speaker 1: and to give unbiased recommendations. Okay, come with me, then

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Speaker 1: let's go. Hey, you take you take pictures. Hold on

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Speaker 1: a second, did you just step in my dog shit? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I sip in dog shit? Yeah? Well I left it

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Speaker 1: there for a reason, asshole, you matter take a ship

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Speaker 1: where he did? They're all right, wait I need it

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Speaker 1: here now? Yeah, they're trying dog shit? Can't we even

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Speaker 1: just stepped in it? All right? I'm sorry, No problems,

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Speaker 1: No problems, Rachel, take a dump all right now? Okay, Parker,

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Speaker 1: I tried this olive and a little bit of men

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Speaker 1: shake o cheese and some slivered almonds, and tell me

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Speaker 1: that this is amazing. Can you put the cheese in? Okay? Yes?

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Speaker 1: Is that all? Is it? All the way in? My

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Speaker 1: tongue doesn't fluctuate all the way back, so I have

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Speaker 1: to put food in initially in the back. Oh that

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Speaker 1: is I'm so sorry, delicious. Isn't that good? Okay, I'm done,

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Speaker 1: and that's it my hand. Let's go, let's go. It's

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00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 1: getting off, it's getting worse. Let's go into that scene one.

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Speaker 1: I really wanted to see him get over there. I

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Speaker 1: wish you didn't step in the dog ship judgment. You

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Speaker 1: can only wish here, seemed to from el Comaniac Nicholas

335
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:30,360
Speaker 1: Marco Hi hope Kevin is okay. Amazon can be a

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Speaker 1: cruel mistress anyhow, New day, new scene. Man coveting his

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Speaker 1: neighbor's ass. Let's go, guys, is a wast Nicholas, What hey, Danny,

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Speaker 1: how are you doing all right? Just got this donkey?

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's a nice donkey. Yeah, you know, I just

340
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Speaker 1: gotta get it. You know, some uh fields, the plow

341
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Speaker 1: and everything. So well, how abou I'm you just spend

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Speaker 1: on about two thousand dollars. That's pretty good. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: got a little uh, I got a minute. Your pony

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Speaker 1: over here. It doesn't work the same, No, it's that's

345
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:17,439
Speaker 1: more of a menstrosity and less of you know what,

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Speaker 1: beast of burden. Then it can actually do some work

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Speaker 1: for you. Well, the burden is that it's a monstrosity. Yeah,

348
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:27,680
Speaker 1: but cute though, cute. Yeah, Hey, do me a favor.

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Speaker 1: Make sure I think there's some ship on my lawn. Uh,

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Speaker 1: it won't ship on your lawn, because better, we've got

351
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Speaker 1: a fence. You know, he's gonna be cloud most of

352
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Speaker 1: the times. Yeah. Great, Well, I don't want to see

353
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Speaker 1: any kind of pliers duct taped to his hoofs and

354
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Speaker 1: then him using those plyers to cut the de fence

355
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Speaker 1: and take a ship on my lawn. Why would he

356
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Speaker 1: do that? I'm just saying that, Dan, that's it. No,

357
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Speaker 1: but the donkey's gonna stay on stay on my property,

358
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Speaker 1: is gonna do the all the shipping on my property.

359
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Speaker 1: You don't have to worry. Better better, Hey, Dan, Tom

360
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Speaker 1: Kurt Kurt, Uh boy, I look at you too. Huh wow,

361
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Speaker 1: what a day? What a day? And what's up you creep.

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Speaker 1: I'm just just wondering if maybe you guys wanted to Um, No,

363
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Speaker 1: we're not gonna take a milk bath. Okay, you get

364
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Speaker 1: the hell away. You ask us three times a day

365
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 1: to take a milk bath. It's not gonna work. What not.

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Speaker 1: I don't even I don't even know why I have

367
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Speaker 1: to answer that it's disgustie. I have to take a

368
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Speaker 1: bath after the milk bath. Hey, this is water buffalo milk.

369
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Speaker 1: I'm talking here, so what so what's so? It's good

370
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Speaker 1: for your skin? You're you're the one invested in those

371
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: water buffaloes, man, and nobody wants your milk. And you've

372
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Speaker 1: got all this excess you're trying to get rid of.

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Speaker 1: And I've talked to the city, okay, and you're gonna

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Speaker 1: have to remove those gardens. So by I've talked to

375
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Speaker 1: the city too. And yeah, let me tell you something.

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Speaker 1: If I find out that you're fucking donkey. It's got pliers,

377
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Speaker 1: wire cutters, duct taped to its hooves, and it cuts

378
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Speaker 1: into my fence and ships on my lawn. Doesn't two

379
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 1: people say that one day? Honey, honey, come come take

380
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 1: a look at this. Look Look across the street. Look

381
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: look Dan, Tom and Kurt. We're all chatting. Yeah great,

382
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 1: you know they all have illegal animals. They're not allowed

383
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 1: to have any of these animals. Was called. Dan just

384
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:32,639
Speaker 1: got a an ass, Tom's got a pony or a

385
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 1: small and Curt's got a water buffalo at outside, son, Alright,

386
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 1: get in here, all right, You see that guy on

387
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 1: the left. Yeah, yeah, Dan, Dan's good an as he's

388
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,959
Speaker 1: got a that's a that's an ass. Yeah, he's got

389
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 1: an ass. Why did you wake me up from my

390
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 1: ten am naw to tell me this baby? This is important.

391
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 1: We should get an animal. I've been wanting an animal too.

392
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 1: I'm ready to have responsibility. Folks, welcome into the illegal

393
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: animal shop. Well kind of illegal animal are you thinking

394
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 1: about purchasing today? Well, our neighbor has a beautiful donkey

395
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:20,960
Speaker 1: that does a lot of work for them. Their lawn

396
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: isn't impeccable shape and there's no clippings anywhere. Yea, And

397
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:30,639
Speaker 1: I wanted to I just what a dog? Teddy? No,

398
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 1: just be quiet about that dog? No more. I mean,

399
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,719
Speaker 1: what do you have? I guess that's her question. Let

400
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 1: me out of here, for God's sake. I'm not an adible.

401
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm not an adible. What was that? That looks very interesting?

402
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: That's that's a bunny. Look at the money staple through

403
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: his head? Uh? Just your colleague, this is my brother

404
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,639
Speaker 1: in law. Are you doing? We're doing all right? This

405
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 1: is my wife. I'm married to sister, all right, not

406
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 1: the other way. That doesn't matter to us. So look,

407
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,679
Speaker 1: look here's what we got. We got a man with

408
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: a bunny staple to its head. Now that I can

409
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,679
Speaker 1: let go for britty show. I also got a white bangle,

410
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 1: a white bangler. Can you stop right there? Let me

411
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 1: just have a quick power with my honey. What do

412
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: you think about a man with a money stable to

413
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:29,640
Speaker 1: his head? This is this is officially unhinged, Henry. I

414
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: can't you wake me up from my three pm nap

415
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 1: to go rush to the Exotic Animal Store. I told

416
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 1: you I just got a fucking donkey. Let's just get wherever. Damn.

417
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to do the same thing that Dan

418
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: is doing. Your name is Timmy, right, Timmy, No, it's Teddy.

419
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 1: Don't crouching to talk to my son. I just like

420
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 1: to get on his level. Let me ask him a question.

421
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 1: He's a grown man, sir, What do you what do

422
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: you think about owning your own man with a bunny

423
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 1: staple to Frank? Where the hell have you been? Where

424
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 1: the hell have you been? Frank? And do not bleed

425
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 1: in my kitchen? Okay, but I don't know what happened.

426
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 1: Somebody they I was getting I was getting Starbucks, you know,

427
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 1: I had your latte. I had it, and where is it?

428
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:35,639
Speaker 1: I don't have it anymore, Maureen, I was abducted. Well,

429
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 1: I gotta get the door. Don't don't. Don't answer the

430
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 1: door to them. They want they want a staple more

431
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 1: rodents to me? What are you talking about? Frank? What

432
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 1: is it? We're stapled a bunny to my forehead. I

433
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: had to rip it off. That's why I did this, gash.

434
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 1: I don't answer it more. Oh, now I can't answer

435
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 1: the door. You were gone for two weeks, Frank. I'm

436
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 1: gonna be hide in the closet. So do they answer

437
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 1: the door? What? I don't know? But the airs, they're

438
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 1: clearly in there. You don't know if they answered the door. Well,

439
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 1: I came back and eventually they might have answered the door. Johnny,

440
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,679
Speaker 1: you're grown man? What are you doing? Yeah, I'm teddy,

441
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: and I'm not actually fully grown. I'm I'm pretty close.

442
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,399
Speaker 1: But listen when you slip us that note when your

443
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,399
Speaker 1: parents were leaving that said I want a job. I

444
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 1: want to work. What do we do? We kidnapped you

445
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: from your room, Uh huh, and we're giving you a job.

446
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: I don't remember slipping the note that you keep talking

447
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 1: about I guess I'm crazy. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe maybe

448
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: he's a little nuts. Maybe he's a little nuts and

449
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: maybe maybe a little nuts. Guys, Now, who you want

450
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 1: to have in the corner next to you know what

451
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 1: I mean? Oh? Yeah, good point. Okay, we've we've tracked

452
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 1: him down. He's inside that house. You know what. You know,

453
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 1: what sells really well? Sells really well? Little boys with Bunny,

454
00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: Tommy Teddy? What's stables all over the neck? Hey? Yeah, Frank? Uh?

455
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 1: I mean Dan Kurt Um? Yeah, I don't know till

456
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,040
Speaker 1: in the field here. I don't know if you guys know,

457
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 1: but my our our son has been kidnapped. And can

458
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: I just say, it's weird? You got a son? That's

459
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 1: not weird, it's but it's Uh. I would if my

460
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 1: wife would be up. It's kind of her naptime right

461
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 1: now though. Um. But if you've seen him, if you

462
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 1: see him, please let us know. We're worried out of

463
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: our minds. But I gotta be honest, I'm looking at

464
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 1: that goddamn donkey making sure it doesn't know how to

465
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 1: use a Blowtorch's know how to use a blowtorch? Tom,

466
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,239
Speaker 1: not now, not now? But if I see that thing

467
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 1: blowtorch and a whole digging down so you can pop

468
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 1: up on my lawn and take a ship on my lawn,

469
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: we're gonna have problem. And if if you don't use blowtorch,

470
00:29:55,960 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: please don't have him blow up my son. You you're

471
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 1: an animal ass house, is that right? I mean we're

472
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 1: looking into getting some son. Actually Teddy, Teddy wanted to

473
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 1: get a dog and I we said, no, yeah you

474
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: don't want it. Teddy your wife. No, Teddy's our son,

475
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 1: a son. That's Rachel's my wife. Huh how is Rachel?

476
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: She's she's good. I'm invited her to take a bath.

477
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 1: You know. You know she's a surgeon, so she's up.

478
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: You know she has odd hours because she's on. But

479
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: you know he's gonna take your milk bath. Stern Medicine

480
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 1: says that milk baths are good for migraines. I don't

481
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 1: know she suffers from migraines. No, she she she doesn't,

482
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 1: but still she Yeah, she's a Western science doctor. Like

483
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 1: I call the city on your ask. Okay, so they're

484
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: gonna be coming down here any minute, talking about that

485
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 1: guy damned water buffalo and those cartons and those barrels

486
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: of milk. You get out. I'm sorry you called the

487
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: city on me, called the city on Dan Well, I

488
00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 1: called the city on Tom because because of that miniature pony.

489
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 1: What the fun is he doing to you? Huh? Alright,

490
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 1: I don't like the looks of him. Already looks like

491
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 1: a freak. I'll let you continue this, Maureen. Moreen, we

492
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: have coffee at home. Why do I have to go out?

493
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: Because they like the way Starbucks does it? We can

494
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 1: we can do a lot. I hope I have PTSD

495
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:29,719
Speaker 1: more we don't have, Okay, so I want a wholemailk steam.

496
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 1: Will you go with me? Will you go with me?

497
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: Wait in the car and I'll run it. And I'm

498
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 1: not gonna go. I have to clean up all the

499
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:39,480
Speaker 1: blood in the closet. Oh god, it's still bleeding. I

500
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: don't want to go out, all right, Temmy, now's your chance. Okay,

501
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 1: it's gonna follow him. We're gonna follow him nice and

502
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 1: slow wherever he goes. You're gonna hop out and do what.

503
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna staple this barning rabbit to his head and

504
00:31:56,720 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 1: you guys are gonna tie him up something like that. Yeah,

505
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: what's to stop him. He's twice my size. What's the stop?

506
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 1: Just clavering me? Welcome to Starbucks, home of the Shake

507
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 1: a Lana. How can I help you? What is the

508
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 1: shake a Lana? It's It's home milk with the peppermint.

509
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: Want that I have a mobile mobile for Frank. Mobile mobile.

510
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, a mobile system. Just kind of gut shut.

511
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: Then you don't have to wait a little bit outside?

512
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 1: Do you mind why there's nobody in the store A

513
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 1: little bit? Sweet? I looked all over the house again,

514
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 1: he's not here. I'm tired. Please let me just go

515
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: to sleep, honey. I know, I know, I know you

516
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 1: need your rest. But we should find our sons. Should

517
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: we go to the police? Where else are we gonna look?

518
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: He's not in the house. Where else could he be?

519
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean we've searched the house. I

520
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 1: in the whole every day. You're right, I mean, that's

521
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 1: why I think we should go to the police. You

522
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,480
Speaker 1: know you have a police. I know you hate the

523
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 1: nasty little the nasty little bugs in the society of

524
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: work of life because you're trying under They live under

525
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: the cement blocks and when you lift them up, there

526
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 1: all there and you want to question. No police, honey,

527
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 1: not ants police police. I'm sorry. This is why I

528
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: need listened. Listen, fellas mom from the city. As you

529
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 1: can tell, I have the shirt and I have the

530
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: shut up, Kurt, I know what you did. It's you.

531
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: You're wearing a fake mustache. I was in the city.

532
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: You asked to be grass. You know what I called

533
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 1: the city? Anything about my ass? Oh, don't might grab

534
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: it my ass. My donkey comes and ships on my lawn.

535
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna look at that guy

536
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 1: I look at running across your fields. He's got Bunny's

537
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 1: stables all over to his head and I'm not gonna

538
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 1: look Curts. Throw me a water buffalo, milk bath. He's right.

539
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 1: Look look, oh my god, Oh my god, that's the

540
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 1: weirdest I've ever seen. Wow. Oh that's that was gone.

541
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 1: That was crazy. Anybody wants to jump into a tub

542
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: right now, No, just thinking we need to do it.

543
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: Make sure that god damn donkey does just started researching

544
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 1: fusion reactors and somehow transports himself over to my side

545
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 1: by splicing up his atoms. I don't know in my life. Look, kid,

546
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 1: he ran away, so you failed. Oh well, at least

547
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: we tried, right, Can you guys take me home? I

548
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,879
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. I'm confused now because the

549
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 1: one hand, you want to work for us, and then

550
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: you want to go home, and I'm confused. I am confused.

551
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 1: You want to talk, Maureen? They jumped me, They jumped me,

552
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 1: and they got me again. What's going on? What's going on?

553
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 1: But where's my coffee? I got you a shake? A lot?

554
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 1: What a shaker? What is with peppermint? And that's our second?

555
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Scene three Andrew Larram, Hey everyone, you good? Yeah?

556
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:50,800
Speaker 1: You good suggestion. Successful assassin who only uses finger guns

557
00:35:51,360 --> 00:36:00,080
Speaker 1: and jazz hands. Cheers Andrew from Montreal. Alright, alright it

558
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 1: the briefing is. It's on the table. You can open

559
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,959
Speaker 1: it if you want. We shouldn't be eating face to face?

560
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 1: Do you know that I like to take risks? Is

561
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 1: that a problem for you? I'm the assassin here. I

562
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 1: think I know what a problem is that? Am the debriefer?

563
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:23,359
Speaker 1: Order up? You're the briefer. You tell me information? Yeah,

564
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: but I do. You've been briefed. Gentlemen, which one have

565
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 1: you ordered? The malt I did? Canada? You are and sir,

566
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I didn't get your order. Did you want something? No? Thanks,

567
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:38,279
Speaker 1: I'm just here with that, but I can I have

568
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 1: the restaurant code please yep? One to four, one to

569
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 1: five one two four one two four five two one

570
00:36:54,880 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 1: two four four one. Maybe you shouldn't be briefing just yeah, no, no,

571
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 1: just give just tell me who the name is and

572
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,919
Speaker 1: I'll take care of it. I got it up here

573
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: locked away in my brain. Really simple name, all right,

574
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 1: really really sunny clarkman. He's going to be gunned down. No,

575
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 1: let we want a quiet jump, all right, so maybe

576
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: you can shove diamonds in his throat and chokes on

577
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 1: some diamonds. And what kind of stupid name is Bunny Diamond? Huh,

578
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 1: I'll get I don't know, I'll find out. Hey, baby, um,

579
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:41,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be working late tonight again. I'm sorry. Oh

580
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 1: my god? Did you know what? Do you know? What

581
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 1: today is? Yes? De yeah? And are for your anniversary

582
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 1: and yeah, so I would much prefer that we spent

583
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 1: together because there's nothing worse. I want that too, baby,

584
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: It's just you know, I'm I'm sunny, you know what

585
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 1: I mean? All right? Well, what if I came to

586
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: work with you. Yeah, that'd be great. Oh really, yeah,

587
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 1: actually you can call the girls if you want, you know,

588
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:22,320
Speaker 1: you can make it a day. Really, yeah, bring the girls.

589
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 1: I'm sure they want to see what a warehouse looks like.

590
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: I mean, we've always wanted to see a warehouse. Let

591
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 1: me get him on the line. You're so cute, you

592
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 1: do that, Charlotte. You know what Sunny is inviting me

593
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: for my birthday and are in a first rate and

594
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 1: because my mom died also your birthday? Yes you forgot, no, no, no, no, no, anyways,

595
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:56,280
Speaker 1: so yeah, so we got a little drinkets here, little gifts.

596
00:38:56,320 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 1: So what's the occasion. Oh, it's it's a lot wrapped

597
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 1: in one. So if you have some kind of altogether gift,

598
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,840
Speaker 1: some of its joyous and some of it's really grim. Really,

599
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 1: that's what's the occasion? Something my birthday anniversary death? Yeah,

600
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 1: so it's my wedding anniversary, but also the anniversary of

601
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 1: my husband's parents murder suicide. But it's also my niece's birthday. Yeah,

602
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 1: and um, I don't know if you, I don't know

603
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 1: if you celebrate these year after year because I'm not

604
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:37,440
Speaker 1: Catholic myself, but my husband got baptized on this day. Um,

605
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 1: so it's his baptismal anniversary? Or about baptism? Is that

606
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: a thing baptis? Oh great? So something that would really

607
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:50,840
Speaker 1: encapsulate all those things would be perfect. My love language

608
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 1: is gift giving, so this is for him? Or yes? Okay, um,

609
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 1: I got some options here? We have lock it. Can

610
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: I ask you a question? Did you believe me when

611
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 1: I said my husband? Yeah? I just want to know

612
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: if it rolls off the tongue believably or not, because

613
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 1: technically he's like, he's not my husband yet, you know,

614
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 1: but I wanted, I want it to happen, and I

615
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 1: I'm trying to manifest that and I'm trying to. I

616
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 1: wonder if it sounded right coming out of my mouth,

617
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 1: because if it didn't, I'm going to have to break

618
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 1: up with him. You know. Well yeah, I mean, could

619
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:32,800
Speaker 1: I be honest? Yeah? Not really? Not really? What not natural?

620
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,279
Speaker 1: I know, I didn't even know the only thing that

621
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 1: sounded legit was the murder suicide. Well that everything else

622
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 1: is real. He's just technically my boyfriend. But you know,

623
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 1: we've been dating for two years, and is that sometime

624
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest. I mean, we do have a

625
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 1: code here, and I can't just give you a gift

626
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 1: now knowing that he's not your husband. So and again,

627
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 1: I just want to just say this didn't sound legit

628
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 1: when he said so there's anything in your heart that

629
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: says like, hey, maybe he's not the one, you know. Yeah, shit,

630
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:14,799
Speaker 1: m I gotta tell you alright, ladies, this is the warehouse.

631
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: That's us, the Forkliff operator. Don't chug him. Don't lug him.

632
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 1: Um so yeah, do you Forkliff for my birthday? You

633
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 1: gotta talk to Chuck. I don't know. He's the man

634
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,960
Speaker 1: in on the floor. I'm gonna be in my office.

635
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: I got some important work to do. But you ladies

636
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 1: walk around have fun here, Like, what the hell is this?

637
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 1: I don't know what he does here. I think that

638
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: he's probably having an affair in in its office. What

639
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:47,760
Speaker 1: you guys with guns walking around here? It's wild? Yeah,

640
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,279
Speaker 1: that is weird. I didn't even notice it. I thought

641
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 1: those were like little things that you ring up items,

642
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 1: but just a thing to ring up. Those are guns? Hey, Chuck,

643
00:41:55,040 --> 00:42:03,360
Speaker 1: headphones off place? Chuck, Well, I gotta keep listen. Uh

644
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 1: want to let you know, Um, some ladies are around today.

645
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 1: Just keep it cool, you know, I mean, keep it cool,

646
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: got it? Keep it cool if they want to co

647
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:19,800
Speaker 1: pathetic and I just don't get it. Came compsnic, Okay,

648
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 1: I will be in my office doing the work, got it? Okay.

649
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 1: I don't mean to bring this party down, girls, and

650
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 1: I really don't want to shoot on your birthday anniversary

651
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 1: slash mom's death day. But I am going to break

652
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 1: up with Jeremy and I'm god to the husband. He

653
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: was so close to husband. He was so close to husband.

654
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 1: Two years right, two years? What a waste of my

655
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:54,720
Speaker 1: fucking time? Older? Now you're two years older. Now I'm old. Guys,

656
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 1: Now I'm old. I wasn't now. I don't know why

657
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 1: I can't be about me on one day. I'm sorry.

658
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I just I thought I would share

659
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: that with you guys, because I love you. It doesn't

660
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 1: even look down. Chup. I got to add phones so

661
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 1: I can see your gesturing at me. What's up? Oh?

662
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 1: This is a perfect chuck. What do you think of

663
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:24,959
Speaker 1: my friend? Oh? My god, don't yet. I haven't broken

664
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 1: up with him yet. It's mentally done. You're not supposed

665
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 1: to be on my best behavior. Is this some kind

666
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:36,359
Speaker 1: of trap? No, what do you think, Chuck, you'd give

667
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 1: it a go. Yeah, I'd give it a go. Explicit

668
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:45,400
Speaker 1: terms what i'd do. Hey, baby, I'm still glad you

669
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 1: in my office. I'm glad the girls are having fun.

670
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 1: Can I see a question? Um? I don't recognize one

671
00:43:51,320 --> 00:44:00,239
Speaker 1: of the girls? Which one? Sure? The one that's I

672
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: know it hasn't the deepest voice of the group, Charlotte.

673
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 1: I just don't she a new friend, because I mean

674
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:10,360
Speaker 1: she's Uh. Sometimes when you have a friend, it feels

675
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 1: like you've known each other forever. And that's what Charlotte's like.

676
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: You don't know what it's like to have a girlfriend. No, okay, No,

677
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 1: you're right, just because you know, I'm doing important work

678
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 1: here and I just don't want people I don't know.

679
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 1: But okay, I hear you. Yeah, my friend. Oh Charley,

680
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 1: this is your office. Huh. Yeah, Well I'm gonna have

681
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: test you ladies to leave now. Charlotte. It's as good

682
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 1: as I we're best friends. We have these bracelets. Yeah,

683
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 1: it was legally binding. Stacy, sounds like we're gonna get back. Okay,

684
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 1: stay in our office, stay in here. What do you

685
00:44:52,120 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 1: mean your buddy. Hey, take him off, buddy, take him off. Chat,

686
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 1: I gotta have you. Have you seen a girl named Stacy? Look,

687
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 1: I'm not supposed to learn women's names anymore. Okay, what's

688
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 1: it's It's part of the agreement for me to keep

689
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:20,839
Speaker 1: working here. I can't learn women's names, all right. Well

690
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,839
Speaker 1: she looks like this. Let me draw it in my hand.

691
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't see images of women. What are

692
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,400
Speaker 1: you doing here? Holy sh it, there you are. What

693
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 1: are you doing here? What do you mean? What am

694
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 1: I doing here? Where were you? I'm at a girl's day.

695
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:42,360
Speaker 1: It's a girl's day at the warehouse. Look the warehouse

696
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 1: with my friends. Well, I didn't know where you went. Look.

697
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to say this, but sometimes I

698
00:45:50,960 --> 00:46:02,959
Speaker 1: feel like you're my wife. Are you Stacy? Stacy? They oh, chuck,

699
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 1: said Charlotte. She's like all the girls are down there.

700
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 1: I just needed to get the restroom code from you.

701
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 1: You've done a lot of bad things, and now you're

702
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 1: gonna pay for him. Are you doing, Sonny Gunderson? Yeah?

703
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 1: What are you doing? People? People? Poo people poopoo boo

704
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:30,240
Speaker 1: boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo. Okay you're dead.

705
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 1: No one? Oh god, okay, you killed Sonny Gunderson. It

706
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: was sunny Klarksman. Uh, i'm a debriefer, but you're giving

707
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 1: me the information. Order up. I'm gonna use the restroom

708
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 1: real quick. All right, I remember the coach from last time?

709
00:46:55,280 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: Four to one, one to five, be right back. Here's

710
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 1: your malt. Thank you so much. Agent. Do you work

711
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:12,360
Speaker 1: for the company? Boo? Oh yeah, what do you do?

712
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:17,839
Speaker 1: I don't know. You tell me. Oh, I just disappeared

713
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 1: polish just code did not work. There's a uh the

714
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:30,040
Speaker 1: code didn't work. What did you put in one to five? No? No,

715
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 1: it's four or four one one one? What that was it?

716
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 1: For one? What the hell was that server? God? Dave

717
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:45,360
Speaker 1: me disappeared? Oh, you're right, you're right. I'm not okay, Leonard.

718
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 1: I thought that I just thought that you were in

719
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,080
Speaker 1: my future and then and then you come over here,

720
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,920
Speaker 1: and I'm over you know what I mean, Like, I

721
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 1: can't be doing this. I could be wasting more years

722
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 1: of my youth on you when it doesn't even sound

723
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 1: right when I lie and say you're my husband. Oh

724
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: my god, you been telling people I'm your husband. I'm

725
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 1: just trying it out. How dare I think that that's

726
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 1: where this is going to go eventually? How dare you

727
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 1: do until we're actually married? She could be married to Chuck?

728
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 1: Up there, she Chuck. She could be married to him?

729
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 1: Who are you? Who is this? Charlotte? Hey, Charlotte? Who

730
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 1: new friends? Can't I have new friends? You're so controlling?

731
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 1: It's yes, what our show? I love a good happy ending.

732
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 1: Let's meet. Let's let's say thank you to all the

733
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:51,320
Speaker 1: Alchemists that joined in this week. Gosh, Chris, thanks for

734
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,960
Speaker 1: having us. Anything that you'd like to guide people to

735
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 1: check out? You say? Thanks for having us? No, I

736
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 1: just want people think I wanted the guide everyone to

737
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 1: whatever it is you're doing. James, that's it. That's all

738
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 1: I host of Alchemy this I don't think. I don't

739
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:13,759
Speaker 1: think so that it was. It was fun anyway. Um.

740
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 1: I just thought he did a great job, you know what.

741
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 1: It was a very James job. And I think that's

742
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 1: all we could ever ask because you're you're a real sweetheart.

743
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 1: I love you. Goodbye, Well, thank you so much. Chris Craig.

744
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 1: What's coming up in your life that you'd like to share?

745
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 1: With all the alchemy this listeners, well the alchemy those uh,

746
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 1: the alchemy this host. Auditions will continue next week. I

747
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 1: think we have mine bi alec and uh is gonna

748
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 1: be exciting. Are they vaccinated yet? I don't know. Well,

749
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 1: it kind of works because we're as zoomed. So yeah,

750
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 1: and Jackie, thanks for joining us today. Would you like

751
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 1: to share with the listeners where they can find more

752
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 1: great content from you? Oh? Sure, the most wonderful pot

753
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 1: of the years, my podcast about Christmas movies. I'd also

754
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 1: like to share how easy, efficient and fast it was

755
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 1: for me to get my booster shot. I got in

756
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 1: less than five minutes. It was so fast and awesome

757
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 1: and um that and I just wanted to also share that,

758
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: like I loved getting it, I loved my experience, and

759
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 1: I wanted to share that. Not that it's about me

760
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 1: right now, but I also got my booster and it

761
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 1: was incredibly fast, incredibly fast, and now I'm boosted a tool.

762
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us again. We couldn't have done

763
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 1: it without you. Thank you. Would you like us to

764
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 1: guide the listeners to find you? Socials are sorry whenever

765
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 1: you're done, I'm done talking now. Thank you. Thanks for

766
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:50,000
Speaker 1: having me. It's always fun and my socials are all

767
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 1: a tool time A T U L T I am.

768
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:57,880
Speaker 1: You can find me on anything, and uh yeah, that's it.

769
00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: I'm just so happy to be here a tool. Don't

770
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:03,399
Speaker 1: you have uh sketches coming back for you? Right? Yeah,

771
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:05,840
Speaker 1: We're gonna be actually at San Francisco Sketch Fest the

772
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 1: week following Alchemy This Alchemy This is gonna be there

773
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:16,480
Speaker 1: on the uh second of fifty two Sundays in and

774
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 1: we're gonna be there the following Friday night. So if

775
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 1: you're in San Francisco in the Bay Area, Uh, come

776
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:28,719
Speaker 1: on out all right, and Joey, thank you for joining us.

777
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 1: For usually you brought lock greatness. Oh gosh, where can

778
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: people find you? And what what are you doing out there? Well,

779
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 1: you can find me here. You can also find me

780
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:41,319
Speaker 1: on the alchemy this reddit page, check out pop on there,

781
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:44,880
Speaker 1: check out alchemy this is Instagram. Might be doing some

782
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 1: stuff there as well. What am I doing? You want?

783
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 1: Know what's going on? What are you not? I got

784
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 1: my booster, so you know, taking appropriate cautions as they are,

785
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,839
Speaker 1: but you know what you're feeling, You're like, Yeah, if

786
00:51:56,920 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: I'm feeling protected, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling and uh,

787
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,919
Speaker 1: does somebody have the ability to tell us real quick

788
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 1: what the day of the Sketch Fest Alchemy this show

789
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 1: is because I'm trying to figure it out and I

790
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 1: can't get January ninth, January nine, so I believe it's

791
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 1: at one pm and go to s F sketch Fest

792
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 1: dot com for tickets specific time. Well, let's thank our

793
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:26,880
Speaker 1: our engineer and producer to the stars, Mr Doug Babe,

794
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:32,720
Speaker 1: and the fine folks at I Heart Media. I'm your host,

795
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 1: James Heeney, and thank you for listening and until next time,