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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, Doctor Joy Harden Bradford, a

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Speaker 1: licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to

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Speaker 1: find a therapist in your area, visit our website at

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Speaker 1: Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you love

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Speaker 1: listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not

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Speaker 1: meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a

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Speaker 1: licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for

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Speaker 1: joining me for session three seventeen of the Therapy for

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Speaker 1: Black Girls Podcast. We'll get right into our conversation after

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Speaker 1: a word from our sponsors. Which friend are you? And

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Speaker 1: your sister circle? Are you the wallflower, the peacemaker, the

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Speaker 1: firecracker or the leader? Take the quiz at sisterhood Heels

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Speaker 1: sure to grab your copy of Sisterhood Heels to find

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Speaker 1: out more about how you can be a better friend

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Speaker 1: and how your circle can do a better job of

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Speaker 1: supporting you. Order yours today at Sisterhood Heels dot com.

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Speaker 1: It's the summer of sisterhood, and what better way to

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Speaker 1: celebrate than to showcase how Black women of all ages

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Speaker 1: have fostered supportive, uplifting, and life saving friendships. It's no

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Speaker 1: secret that over here at Therapy for Black Girls, we

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Speaker 1: believe that sisterhood heals, and today's guests are a perfect

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Speaker 1: example of the liberating impact our connections have. For today

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Speaker 1: today's conversation, I sat down with intergeneration obesties Essence Atkins

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Speaker 1: and Francelli Chapman. Essence has been a constant presence in

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Speaker 1: our living room since the mid nineties, starring in classics

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Speaker 1: like Smart Guy, Malibu Shores, Half and Half, and Are

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Speaker 1: We There Yet? Francelli is an award winning Afro Latina artivist,

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Speaker 1: using her voice to speak on the need for inclusion

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Speaker 1: and diversity in Hollywood. During our conversation, Essence and Francelli

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Speaker 1: share the lessons they've learned from each other as a

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Speaker 1: result of their fifteen year age gap, their keys to

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Speaker 1: maintaining a long lasting sisterhood, and how they've navigated friendship

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Speaker 1: in the entertainment industry. Please note that this interview was

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Speaker 1: recorded prior to the commencement of the sag after a strike.

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Speaker 1: If something resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please

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Speaker 1: share with us on social media using the hashtag TBG

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Speaker 1: in session, or join us over in the Sisters circle.

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Speaker 1: To talk more about the episode. You can join us

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Speaker 1: at community dot therapy for Blackgirls dot Com. Here's our conversation. Well,

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Speaker 1: I am so excited to be joined by two incredible

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Speaker 1: guests today, so francillly in essence, I understand that you

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Speaker 1: all had a bit of a spiritual beginning to the

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Speaker 1: beginning of your friendship. Can you tell me how you

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Speaker 1: both met and became friends.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was April of twenty sixteen, and I was

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Speaker 2: in the process of getting a divorce. I had filed

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Speaker 2: for divorce, and my life was unraveling and falling apart,

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Speaker 2: and it was something that only a very handful of

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Speaker 2: people knew. It was not public information yet. But I

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Speaker 2: was having a particularly bad day and I had been

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Speaker 2: invited to be the guest speaker at a woman's tea

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Speaker 2: where I was supposed to say something inspiring.

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Speaker 3: And I was friends with the woman putting it together,

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Speaker 3: and I'm the friend who's always being of service, and

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Speaker 3: so I was there helping set up, and she asked

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Speaker 3: me to open up the event and prayer, and of

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Speaker 3: course that was part of stalling because Essence was running

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Speaker 3: late and we were like trying to keep the women.

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Speaker 2: Just like, yeah, she's on the way, She's on the way,

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Speaker 2: and I'm lost in Koreatown, not able to find where

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Speaker 2: I was supposed to go. I finally get there, I

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Speaker 2: am an hour late. I'm completely undone because that's just

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Speaker 2: not my norm. But I had been crying and it

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Speaker 2: was just a really bad day. Anyway, I show up,

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Speaker 2: We have the tea, and everyone does what they're supposed

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Speaker 2: to do, and as we have wrapped up, I'm getting

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Speaker 2: ready to leave and friend Sally she's cleaning out. She's

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Speaker 2: helping to like put everything back.

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Speaker 3: Let's be clear, Okay, she doesn't like talking about this.

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Speaker 3: And I said this to your producer Freedom. I'm like

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Speaker 3: those of us who have watched Essence Atkins on television

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Speaker 3: all our lives believe she's a living legend, right, And

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Speaker 3: so people at this tea were running up to her

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Speaker 3: asking her for pictures, and I didn't want to do

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Speaker 3: any of that because I was there to serve, So

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Speaker 3: you know, I pulled to Mary and Martha. I was

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Speaker 3: busy cleaning and doing the things, and I just did

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Speaker 3: not bother her. And when people left, she ends up

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Speaker 3: coming up to me when there were only like four

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Speaker 3: people left in the house, and I was like, oh, hi.

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Speaker 2: But what had happened is I'm getting ready to leave,

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Speaker 2: and the Holy Spirit said to me, go ask that

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Speaker 2: woman to pray for you. Now, mind you, I had

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Speaker 2: missed her praying everyone in, so I didn't even know

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Speaker 2: that this made any sense.

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Speaker 3: But I prayed everybody out.

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Speaker 2: So I was like what, And so again, go ask

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Speaker 2: her to pray for you. And I was like, that's weird.

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Speaker 2: And I go through and I'm like, hi, So the

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Speaker 2: Holy Spirit asked me to ask you to pray for me,

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Speaker 2: and she was like.

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Speaker 3: Okay out loud. I was okay because I'm an actress,

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Speaker 3: so ooh. I had it together. But on the inside,

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Speaker 3: I was like, since Adkins asked me to pray for huh,

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Speaker 3: I hope.

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Speaker 2: I say to prayer right.

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Speaker 3: I prayed for her, and then I kept it moving.

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Speaker 3: I would never use Jesus as to come up. My

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Speaker 3: God puts me on assignment. I do what I do

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Speaker 3: and I keep it moving.

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Speaker 2: And then we didn't see each other for like several months,

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Speaker 2: and then we ended up with a group of women

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Speaker 2: again praying together. And then after that I was like, okay,

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Speaker 2: this is silly. We should exchange numbers. Yeah, and that

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Speaker 2: was the beginning of our friendship. So yes, it did start.

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Speaker 2: It started with me asking a total stranger to pray

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Speaker 2: for me because I was falling apart.

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Speaker 1: So how long have you been friends at this point?

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Speaker 2: Over seven years?

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Speaker 1: Seven years? Wow, what a beautiful origin story. I always

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Speaker 1: love seeing friends tell the story. It is almost like

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Speaker 1: a married couple, like where you jump in and like,

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Speaker 1: oh no, girl, you're not telling that part right, let

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Speaker 1: me tell this what? So I love I always love

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Speaker 1: hearing origin stories. So, Francilly, you have already mentioned that

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Speaker 1: this woman is a living legend too many of us

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Speaker 1: who have seen her on the screen with some time.

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Speaker 1: How were you able to kind of manage your feelings

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Speaker 1: of being maybe a little starstruck to actually be in

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Speaker 1: a friendship with her.

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Speaker 3: It's interesting because living in Los Angeles, you know, you

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Speaker 3: go from watching people on television to being around the

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Speaker 3: people you've grown up with. It's like you see them

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Speaker 3: at the grocery store, you see them when you're hiking.

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Speaker 3: It's just part of the life here. And one of

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Speaker 3: the things that God helped me with before I even

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Speaker 3: got to Los Angeles, when I was working in New

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Speaker 3: York in the theater, I learned the hard way to

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Speaker 3: really learn my spot that God is not respective of persons,

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Speaker 3: and that it was really important to understand that I

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Speaker 3: am a peer, and that as long as I looked

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Speaker 3: at people above me, then God can't really have me

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Speaker 3: in a seat of authority and put me in the

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Speaker 3: places that He needs me to be. And so before

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Speaker 3: I even got here, it was more so about that

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Speaker 3: as understanding is there's going to come in a time

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Speaker 3: and a place where God's going to put me in

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Speaker 3: situations where He's going to use me. It became very

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Speaker 3: clear that my mission in Los Angeles wasn't just about

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Speaker 3: my career, but it was about how He would use

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Speaker 3: my faith and the power that I have as later

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Speaker 3: I became a minister, but I did not know that

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Speaker 3: at the time that He would use me to help

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Speaker 3: bring the light in Hollywood. And so essence is one

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Speaker 3: of the many friends that I have that I grew

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Speaker 3: up watching on television. It's just how the Lord positioned me.

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Speaker 3: What was the balancing act was then people outside of us,

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Speaker 3: how they responded to my friendship.

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Speaker 2: The com and terry and the kind of opinions, And

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Speaker 2: that part was difficult to navigate for her, just because

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Speaker 2: the expectation was like.

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Speaker 3: Well, oh you got Hollywood friends. Now, oh you think

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Speaker 3: you better than us, you know, like it became that

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Speaker 3: kind of.

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Speaker 2: Then yeah, it's like the neighborhood friends and the family

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Speaker 2: that you know somehow takes that as like you've gone

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Speaker 2: Hollywood as opposed to know, this is a person that

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Speaker 2: I feel a genuine connection with and that we have

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Speaker 2: so much in common and we edify each other and

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Speaker 2: encourage each other, and we have wisdom for one another

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Speaker 2: and special connection and has nothing to do with what

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Speaker 2: they do for a living.

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Speaker 1: So tell me more about who was offering commentary on

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Speaker 1: your friendship, Like where were you hearing these these comments.

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Speaker 3: From child family and friends. It's the interesting part. The

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Speaker 3: thing is that the commentary that you've changed is normally

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Speaker 3: not necessarily true. Is just that then people's relationship to

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Speaker 3: you changes because they change the way they see you.

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Speaker 3: So now all of a sudden they're more intimidated around

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Speaker 3: the idea or people start asking for favors, like people

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Speaker 3: dming me trying to get to her, like navigating those

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Speaker 3: kinds of things, of making sure I'm protecting her in

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Speaker 3: a particular way. I've become like a houl bull dog.

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Speaker 1: I know you're going to.

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Speaker 2: Say that it's like.

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Speaker 3: The Brox, like chill out, no, And you know, a

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Speaker 3: lot of times I'm very kind and that's because of

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Speaker 3: the grace of this incredible woman next to me, Like

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Speaker 3: she is the epitome of kindness everywhere we go. We

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Speaker 3: you went to the theater one time and she's in

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Speaker 3: the bathroom and a woman asked her for a photo,

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Speaker 3: and I was I wanted to like a yo. She's like, no,

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Speaker 3: it's okay, it's fine. Like she's just so generous and graceful,

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Speaker 3: and so it's helped me calm down a little bit.

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Speaker 3: To me, like, you know what, I'm just gonna be

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Speaker 3: kind to.

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Speaker 1: So, since you both are in the industry, I am

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Speaker 1: curious to hear how do you vet so to speak,

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Speaker 1: like new people coming into your life, Like how do

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Speaker 1: you ensure that people are not interested just in your

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Speaker 1: resume as opposed to a genuine relationship.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, you know, the word says that you'll

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Speaker 2: know them by their fruit, So you really have to

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Speaker 2: just pay attention to You're not going to get apples

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Speaker 2: from a fig tree, and you're not going to get

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Speaker 2: good fruit from someone who has bad intentions. So you

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Speaker 2: just got to use your discernment and you take your time.

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Speaker 2: It's a difficult balance to find in a time where

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Speaker 2: everything is accessible within seconds, right milliseconds, sometimes all kinds

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Speaker 2: of information from where people are from and where they

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Speaker 2: went to school. You don't need to have a conversation

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Speaker 2: with somebody, you can literally look it up if you

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Speaker 2: know their name. And so to exercise and to learn

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Speaker 2: patience and process and putting up enough boundaries where you

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Speaker 2: safeguard your heart. You can still be inviting and you

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Speaker 2: can still be warm, but that you don't give everyone

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Speaker 2: full access immediately to all the things, and so learning

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Speaker 2: how to do that, learning how to sit in process

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Speaker 2: and walk things out without feeling an urgency to get

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Speaker 2: to the end or an urgency to identify as oh,

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Speaker 2: this is hell, this is my best friend, this is

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Speaker 2: my best friend. Like to have a new best friend. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: at forty four years old, which is when I met her,

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Speaker 2: it was ridiculous. It would have been a ridiculous notion

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Speaker 2: for me to say that I have many friends, beautiful

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Speaker 2: friendships that had been some of them twenty almost thirty

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Speaker 2: years old at that point in my life. Actually, I

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Speaker 2: do have one girlfriend that I've been friends with for

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Speaker 2: longer than that, and so it's not like I was

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Speaker 2: seeking that. But what ended up happening in our connection

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Speaker 2: and spending time together and in the growth the trajectory

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Speaker 2: of our lives and where we were going. Again, it's

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Speaker 2: about how we have walked together. It's not necessarily about

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Speaker 2: all the things in common. Obviously, we're fifteen years apart.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of disparity in terms of even our

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Speaker 2: experience in life, in terms of the time we grew

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Speaker 2: up in. However, the way that we walk out life

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Speaker 2: is very compatible. The way that we want to approach

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Speaker 2: things is very very compatible. And that's really how best

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Speaker 2: Friend happened. It wasn't about Oh you from the Bronx,

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Speaker 2: I'm from Brooklyn. Oh you a believer, I'm a believer.

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Speaker 2: Oh you like hers Shehey's chocolate.

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Speaker 3: I like her She's like.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't that kind of energy. It was like the

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Speaker 2: way that we grew together in the conversations, in how

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Speaker 2: we face and the way that we showed up. She

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Speaker 2: showed up for me in ways that you know, there

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Speaker 2: are people in my life that I've known for a

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Speaker 2: long time and I love them, but their capacity is

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Speaker 2: not one where I can call them at three in

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Speaker 2: the morning to pick me up from the airport.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: And it doesn't mean they don't love me. I don't

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Speaker 2: take it personally, It's just not in their wheelhouse. The

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Speaker 2: kind of friendship that we have amongst each other. It's

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Speaker 2: like we are ride or die friends. We are the

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Speaker 2: friends both of us that you can call to take

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Speaker 2: you to the airport at four in the morning. We

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Speaker 2: are the friends that you're broken down on the side

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Speaker 2: of the road and we will come get Like there

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Speaker 2: are certain friendships where that is just that's just an automatic.

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Speaker 2: It's not even something you have to ask for. It's

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Speaker 2: just their natural inclination, their natural impetus. That's friend sellly.

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Speaker 2: And so we had a compatibility in how we love

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Speaker 2: that was just super super equally yoked.

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Speaker 3: And the wisdom, you know how she said, don't be quick.

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Speaker 3: She makes fun of me all the time that I

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Speaker 3: pick up strays.

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Speaker 2: I'm the iron cats in the world.

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Speaker 3: Child. I was part of the social worker ministry, both

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Speaker 3: in friendship and in relationships, you know, like it was

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Speaker 3: just I was always taken on a case and so

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Speaker 3: being in this friendship has really helped what she was

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Speaker 3: talking about, Like I wanted so bad based on my trauma, right,

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Speaker 3: pick me, see me, love me, choose me. Look, I'm

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Speaker 3: a good friend, I'm a good Christian, I'm a good

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Speaker 3: dis I'm a good that, and a lot of that

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Speaker 3: was just trying to prove. And when you get into

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Speaker 3: a friendship where what is understood doesn't need to be explained,

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Speaker 3: there's someone who really comes in grounds you of, Hey,

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Speaker 3: you don't have to do this for everybody and still

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Speaker 3: be loving and kind and gracious. But everyone doesn't get

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Speaker 3: to have this kind of access. And of course, as

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Speaker 3: someone who's on the level that she's on, she's had

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Speaker 3: to learn that through the fire of being a celebrity, right,

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Speaker 3: Like you just can't open your home to everyone. I

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Speaker 3: was like, hey, come over, but you know, I'm Afro Latina,

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Speaker 3: so it's like I would be around all the cousins

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Speaker 3: in the house. So it's like for me coming to La,

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Speaker 3: it's like whoever wanted to be a friend, And you

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Speaker 3: learn in La real quick that people are about what

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Speaker 3: they can get from you as opposed to something that's reciprocal.

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Speaker 3: And so the wisdom of her has been life changing.

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Speaker 1: So, you know, I appreciate you all sharing about the

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Speaker 1: history of your friendship. And it seems like the death

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Speaker 1: was established pretty quickly. I'm wondering if that was difficult

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Speaker 1: to navigate with other friends who have been in your

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Speaker 1: life for like twenty plus years, right, So not on

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Speaker 1: my side as much, but some of her people felt.

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Speaker 2: Some kind of way, and some of your people too.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's no. I mean, you know,

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Speaker 2: but that happens because we get territory, girl, what she called,

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Speaker 2: We get territorial, you know. And people are also just

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Speaker 2: being on the lookout for their right. They want to

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Speaker 2: be protective and make sure that this person is genuine,

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Speaker 2: that their motives are pure, and all that other kind

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Speaker 2: of stuff, so you safeguard. The thing about love that

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Speaker 2: I have learned is that love requires liberty. Really, loving

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Speaker 2: someone is not about obligation. It really is about choosing.

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Speaker 2: And so the way that we operate I don't have

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Speaker 2: to give her the title. I mean, we say it

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Speaker 2: all the time bestie, bestie, just because I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think it's fun at this point, but like I

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Speaker 2: don't ever have to say it to her for her

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Speaker 2: to feel and know that that's who she is. You

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Speaker 2: know what I mean? And it's not meant to dismiss

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Speaker 2: anyone else in my life. The importance of them, the

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Speaker 2: love and affection I have for them, the history of

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Speaker 2: the things that we've navigated together. But if you're talking

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Speaker 2: about who's your emergency contact, right, who is the person

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Speaker 2: that you give your keys to, because you know that

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Speaker 2: if you need them to go in your house, get

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Speaker 2: your checkbook, put out a fire, babysit your son, pick

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Speaker 2: them up from there. Everybody doesn't can't have that position,

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Speaker 2: and everyone doesn't, and that's okay, you know, And so

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Speaker 2: you learn, we learn, hopefully, and the people around us

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Speaker 2: learn that, like our love of one another and our

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Speaker 2: title of one another doesn't dismiss.

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Speaker 1: Who you are.

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Speaker 2: Like the thing about the macro is that love is

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Speaker 2: an endless source. Just because I love her doesn't mean

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Speaker 2: I love you less or that you get a smaller chunk.

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Speaker 3: Now, you know, and people. It's interesting how they respond

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Speaker 3: on each side. Like for me, when we first started

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Speaker 3: getting really close, I was living in a studio apartment.

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Speaker 3: I was driving a Hooptie two thousand and five, and

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Speaker 3: people would be like, Essence comes to your house, and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, why would it she come to my house?

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Speaker 3: She riding this car with you.

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Speaker 2: And I'm just like like, yeah, well I don't feel

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Speaker 2: like driving.

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Speaker 3: If this person is your actual friend and not your

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Speaker 3: friend just for the gram, you know, not your friend

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Speaker 3: for the aesthetic of being friends, then this is me

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Speaker 3: right now. I live in a studio apartment and I

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Speaker 3: drive a WOOTI you know. And so if she's really

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Speaker 3: my friend, my friend comes over to my house, you

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Speaker 3: come over to my house. So why because she's since akin,

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Speaker 3: she can't come to my house. And so again, Hollywood

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Speaker 3: has been there are a lot of friendships, but what

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Speaker 3: is the foundation of that friendship And our friendship again,

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Speaker 3: isn't based on we were on a show together and

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Speaker 3: oh we just Hollywood industry friends and it's cute to

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Speaker 3: be taking pictures together. Again, the foundation of our friendship

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Speaker 3: is Jesus. And so that's just a whole different kind

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Speaker 3: of ballgame.

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Speaker 1: But I do think that there is something special about

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Speaker 1: you being in the same industry with one another. Right,

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Speaker 1: So can you talk a little bit about how having

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Speaker 1: a best friend in your same industry has helped you

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Speaker 1: to navigate your career?

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I have the pandemic. It's that

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Speaker 2: self tape ministry for me. Like, you know, we really

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Speaker 2: had to help one another, especially, you know, we were

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Speaker 2: part of each other's in the beginning, there were only

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Speaker 2: a few people that I wanted to be around, and

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Speaker 2: we were just being very careful. My son wasn't vaccinated,

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Speaker 2: and in the beginning there were no vaccines, right, so

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Speaker 2: we were just being ultra ultra careful about who we

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Speaker 2: were around. And so this was a safe place and

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Speaker 2: this was a good person to be able to augment

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Speaker 2: all the things, not just oh I found toilet paper,

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Speaker 2: I found onions, I found eggs, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: We've been calling each other Costco just got paper towels,

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Speaker 2: and you know what I mean, like those kinds of tips.

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Speaker 2: But also when things started to pick back up in

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Speaker 2: the industry, we were each other's you know, self tape partner.

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Speaker 2: And also just being able to have that shorthand when

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Speaker 2: you are in the same industry. We both love the theater,

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Speaker 2: so we go to the theater together.

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Speaker 3: We go see so many plays. Yeah, and she hates musicals,

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Speaker 3: but I get her to go to them. She hates

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Speaker 3: musicals and also, surprisingly, she doesn't like taking pictures. She

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Speaker 3: is not someone who likes taking pictures. And it's funny

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Speaker 3: because we got to a certain place in our friendship

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Speaker 3: where she was like, why you don't have to take

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Speaker 3: no pictures with me? You don't ever post me? And

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Speaker 3: I was like, I never want you to think that.

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Speaker 3: I just want to post you for the GRAM. We

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Speaker 3: didn't take our first picture that we posted on a

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Speaker 3: Gram until she asked for it, right, because to me,

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Speaker 3: that was very important to like establish that foundation of

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Speaker 3: integrity that I'm not here for all of that. And so,

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Speaker 3: but it's funny because she doesn't like taking pictures. I'm

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Speaker 3: the one who when I'm her plus one. Okay, girls,

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Speaker 3: stand there, I got you. I'm doing the reels just

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Speaker 3: social and social media, right. So the advantage of having

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Speaker 3: a younger hype woman, right, who's going to be like,

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Speaker 3: girls stand like this, post like this, you know all

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Speaker 3: of the things.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's cute and that was a big part of

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Speaker 2: my recovery, not just the work that I do as

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Speaker 2: an actor, but just my recovery post divorced. Her love

399
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 2: and affirming of me and seeing me and just challenging

400
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Speaker 2: me to grow in ways that made me uncomfortable and

401
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Speaker 2: to see myself as beautiful and vibrant and whatever. I mean.

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Speaker 3: I ran a half marathon.

403
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Speaker 2: I was never a runner, but I ran a half

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Speaker 2: marathon at forty nine with her because she wanted to

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Speaker 2: do that. She wanted a running partner. So I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'll do it. And then next thing you know, I'm

407
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Speaker 2: loving it and now I love to run.

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Speaker 3: And now she ghosts me like I'll talk about sees

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Speaker 3: thirty yards ahead. I mean, I'm like, girl, hold on

410
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Speaker 3: what you call it? You would think.

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Speaker 2: I'm the one fifteen years old the way smoking me

412
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Speaker 2: having someone who just sees you with fresh eyes, you know,

413
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Speaker 2: not just of fresh eyes because they're getting to know

414
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 2: you and their intake of you is fresh, but also

415
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 2: because there is this age difference, Like she doesn't ever

416
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 2: regard me as this middle aged woman, which by the numbers,

417
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 2: I am, but that's not how she regards me. And

418
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Speaker 2: it was an important asset for me in the healing

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Speaker 2: post divorce, to be able to start to see myself

420
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Speaker 2: as having still vibrancetes still, to be able to start again,

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Speaker 2: to have a new incarnation of myself that the best

422
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,439
Speaker 2: of my days weren't behind me. It was a really

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Speaker 2: really beautiful thing to have in her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. More from our conversation after the break, so Franz Halle,

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Speaker 1: you have made several comments that lead me to believe

426
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Speaker 1: that you have been super conscientious about any kind of

427
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 1: getting networks from her, or you know, just really wanting

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Speaker 1: her to know that you were there for her and

429
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 1: not just who she has been. I want to hear

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Speaker 1: from both of you how you have navigated that. Right

431
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Speaker 1: because with your girl, both people were not famous. You

432
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Speaker 1: could be like, oh, introduce me to this person. I'm

433
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Speaker 1: applying for a job at this company, right, But I

434
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Speaker 1: think this situation is unique. So I'm curious to hear

435
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:49,919
Speaker 1: if you have been able to get over that and

436
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 1: ask for connections and for u essence, have you volunteered

437
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: some of that since she may be less likely to ask.

438
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Yeah, I mean I advocated. I was a producer

439
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 2: on a film that I did called Open and friend

440
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 2: sellly read for a character and was cast. But you know,

441
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 2: one of the things that I have tried to do

442
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 2: is just continue to like make sure that when we

443
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 2: go anywhere that people understand who she is, what her

444
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,880
Speaker 2: capacity is, the fact that she's an award winning actress herself,

445
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 2: the fact that she's been doing this for a long time.

446
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 2: She was on Broadway when she was very young, She's

447
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 2: written plays and poetry books, and like she's very accomplished

448
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 2: in her own right. And I think that is something

449
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 2: that you do in front of each other, but also

450
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 2: you do behind the scenes. You advocate for one another,

451
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 2: and that has been something that is critical in my opinion.

452
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 2: I think you would speak to this as well in sisterhood.

453
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 2: It's so important in sisterhood that the people that you

454
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 2: have aligned yourself with are speaking highly of you and

455
00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 2: don't feel threatened by you, but celebrate you and you

456
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 2: to win. And they don't see your winning as somehow

457
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 2: their loss. They just know that it's for you and

458
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,400
Speaker 2: not for them, that God has something else for them.

459
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 2: So we do that really well and really organically. We

460
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 2: have had to definitely police people trying to access right.

461
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 2: People have tried to access me through her or other people,

462
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 2: like she says that she is friends with that we've

463
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 2: grown up watching on television, that they know that she

464
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 2: has a relationship with. Unfortunately, it's the beast of burden

465
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 2: of living here and people being able to connect your

466
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 2: six degrees of Kevin Bacon or in our case, Regina King,

467
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. It's like, you know when

468
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 2: you have that people are always trying to figure out

469
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 2: how to network, And there's nothing wrong with taking advantage

470
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 2: of relationships in a way that's genuine for people who

471
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:56,679
Speaker 2: are qualified, like people get grandfathered in all the time.

472
00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,399
Speaker 3: You know, I still think it's so difficult or a

473
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 3: black woman. It's one of those things where like I'm

474
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 3: still delicate. I'm praying all the time of what and

475
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 3: when and how to ask, not just because of what

476
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 3: we're talking about on the surface level, but as a friend,

477
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 3: I know information that other people don't. I know her traumas,

478
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 3: I know her triggers. I know the people that have

479
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 3: hurt her, the people who've taken advantage of her. I

480
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,639
Speaker 3: know how much the people around her just take and

481
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,119
Speaker 3: take and take and ask and ask and continue to

482
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 3: ask for more. And I don't want to be another

483
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 3: person on that list, and so I'm still navigating that.

484
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 3: We ran into EMC Light one day. It was like

485
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,679
Speaker 3: your birthday. We were at this establishment and listen, I'm

486
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 3: from the Bronx, Okay where hip hop originated. EMC Light,

487
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 3: are you for real? What? And I kept a pleasant

488
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 3: kepa moving and we go to the valet and the

489
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 3: Holy Spirit knocked me on my face. I said, essence,

490
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,919
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm supposed to pray for her, and

491
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 3: she goes, let's go, and I was like, no, like

492
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 3: I'm telling you, as my friend, like not for us

493
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 3: to really go pray for life.

494
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 2: This's know what I'm saying.

495
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 3: No, we're gonna go, and we go inside and we

496
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 3: end up finding her and I'm like, this is gonna

497
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 3: sound weird. Now I felt like her, this is gonna

498
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 3: sound weird, but Holy Spirit is telling me to pray

499
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 3: for you, and she's like, oh my God, yes please.

500
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 3: And until this day, although her number is in my phone,

501
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 3: I do not text, like unless it's in a group

502
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 3: text with her. That relationship is hers and I'm still

503
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,119
Speaker 3: like that till this day. Most of the people that

504
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 3: I've met through her, it's group chats and not that

505
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 3: I haven't had my own caveats of offshoots with them

506
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 3: because I'm the one with no kid, right, so a

507
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,399
Speaker 3: lot of times I'm the one who can go and

508
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 3: she can't. But it's so so important for me that

509
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 3: she doesn't feel left out. The Bible says, do not

510
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,919
Speaker 3: let your appearance be made evil. So although I know

511
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 3: my intention is pure, I don't ever want it to

512
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 3: even appear that I'm moving funny, it's part of all

513
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 3: of the things who I am in Christ and because

514
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 3: I'm from the Bronx, like, we just don't move like that.

515
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:11,959
Speaker 2: And that's why she's my best friend. Like again, there

516
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 2: were just certain things that made me feel.

517
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 4: Made me feel safe, made me feel understood, made me

518
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 4: feel valued and respected. That I didn't have to lay

519
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 4: it out. I didn't have to like spell it out.

520
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 4: I didn't have to do a PowerPoint presentation. As I shared,

521
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 4: she made the effort, and I hope I've done the same.

522
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 4: But as we've shared with one another, we've taken in

523
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 4: the information and we have categorized it to inform us

524
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 4: on how to love the other one better and how

525
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,719
Speaker 4: to show up for them better. Yeah, that's how you

526
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 4: become best friends.

527
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 1: And do you all have these conversations with one another

528
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 1: very easily?

529
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, yeah we do. Yeah, it's really exactly. It's

530
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 3: really we don't play no games over here kind of thing.

531
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 3: And we've had some really hard conversations too. The thing

532
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 3: about safety is knowing that you could say the hard

533
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,119
Speaker 3: thing and it doesn't mean the friendship is over, you know,

534
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,959
Speaker 3: And unfortunately everyone doesn't have that. There's so many people

535
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,399
Speaker 3: that are afraid to speak their truth. Listen, your truth

536
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 3: isn't the truth. The truth for us is Jesus right

537
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 3: here is the way. But my feelings are my feelings

538
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,959
Speaker 3: and they matter. They may not be the truth, and

539
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,440
Speaker 3: there needs to be a space where I can say, hey,

540
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 3: this is how I feel, although this may not be

541
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 3: the truth, this is where I'm at, and the it

542
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 3: not become a thing where like, well girl, you figure

543
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 3: it out. Thankfully, both people again are willing to die

544
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 3: to their ego, die to their own pride and their

545
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 3: need to be right to figure out what's gonna make

546
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 3: you feel safe. Ultimately.

547
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: So you all have mentioned before that there's a fifteen

548
00:28:56,280 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 1: year age difference here. When do you feel the gap

549
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 1: in those years most in your friendship.

550
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 2: When I'm trying to navigate technology, Oh my gosh, it's

551
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 2: like that, and just anything on my phone. First of all,

552
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't see where are my glasses?

553
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 1: Like that?

554
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 2: And that's a new thing that happened that I think

555
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 2: I turned forty six when my eyes just decided, no,

556
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 2: we're done. But yeah, technology for me is when I

557
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 2: definitely feel like I'm ancient, like I'm mad, I might

558
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 2: turn into a pillar of dust when not.

559
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 3: When it comes to when it comes.

560
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 2: To technology, when do you feel it.

561
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 3: It's interesting because since I was a child, I've always

562
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,719
Speaker 3: been told I have an old soul. I'm one of seven,

563
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 3: I'm smack dab in the middle, and I have older

564
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 3: brothers and sisters, and I always loved hanging out my

565
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 3: older siblings. So I've always had this thing where I

566
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 3: hung out with the older crowd. And so when we

567
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 3: first started hanging and she would notice that I love

568
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 3: eighties music, seventies music, sixties music, she was like all

569
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 3: the jams she just listens to, I listened to as well,

570
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 3: so they didn't feel weird. And then but there are

571
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 3: these like moments where like she'll be like I'm having

572
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 3: a hot flash. And I'm like, it's like the a

573
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 3: flat dug. She's like, I'm like, I can't relate. Girl,

574
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 3: don't know you having a whole summer in December.

575
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 2: I don't know what's happening over there. So yeah, that's

576
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 2: true because I do announce it just.

577
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 3: Like yeahs it out loud, like we'll be at Michael's

578
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 3: and she's like, I'm having a hot flash. I'm like.

579
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 2: What.

580
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 3: And so it's interesting because those moments gave me this

581
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 3: idea for a TV show. I told her, I said,

582
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 3: I came around and I said, oh, girl, so like

583
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 3: we have all these funny little moments that show about

584
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 3: our age. God gave me this vision for a TV

585
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 3: show called Age Appropriate. How would you feel if I

586
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 3: wrote a show based on our friendship? And she was like, Okay,

587
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 3: let's do it. And so we've been on like a

588
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 3: two year journey of writing out this incredible pilot about

589
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 3: our lives.

590
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: And where are we in that practice? Are we like shopping?

591
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 3: What's happening? What are we doing?

592
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: Our script is done and we are beginning to shop it.

593
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 2: But there have been some eyes on it and some

594
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 2: ears that have heard it that have given us some

595
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 2: really wonderful encouragements, some valuable opinions.

596
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 1: So yes, stay tuned. We will stay tuned hopefully.

597
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 2: But yeah, there's there's all kinds of moments where I

598
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 2: think we remember that.

599
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 3: Oh, there will.

600
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 2: Be times where she'll be saying I'll say something and

601
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 2: she'll say, oh, yeah, it was such and such and

602
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 2: I was graduating from high school and I'm like, yo,

603
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 2: I was like almost married, Like what, like what is happening?

604
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 2: So there are those moments between us. And then, like

605
00:31:55,600 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 2: we mentioned before, when it comes to running, oh a smoker.

606
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 3: So it doesn't feel quite age appropriate that she seems

607
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 3: to be better at athletics than me. I don't understand

608
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 3: how you're fifty one years old and I'm huffing and puffing.

609
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 3: So that's annoying. Actually when I noticed the age difference

610
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 3: and I'm like I can't keep up with her? What

611
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 3: is wrong with me?

612
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 2: So yeah, again there are these moments. Music is a

613
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 2: big one where age doesn't seem to be a factor.

614
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 2: Like we both love salsa music, we both love but

615
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 2: chatta merenguey and so like we have that in common.

616
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 2: So dancing is something that we do together often and

617
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 2: We were at a club one time, whose birthday was

618
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 2: at least's birthday, was it Garcel's birthday. We were at

619
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 2: a club, but it wasn't a club. It was like

620
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 2: a dinner club. But they had music, they had a DJ,

621
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 2: and we started dancing and we were dancing so hard

622
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:57,719
Speaker 2: in a way that didn't make sense because we're in

623
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 2: this dinner environment, this dinner restaurant environment. But we were

624
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 2: dancing so turned up that this white guy who was

625
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 2: often the periphery.

626
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 3: He reported us.

627
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,719
Speaker 2: Yes, he reported us. And he came over to us

628
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 2: later and was like, you guys are incredible. I could

629
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 2: not stop watching you. He was just fangirling over us.

630
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 2: It was so sweet, but it was just infectious and

631
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 2: contagious because we just create our own environment in the

632
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 2: way that we click and have an enthusiasm that becomes

633
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 2: hopefully contagious.

634
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 1: So what do you feel like you've learned from each

635
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: other because of the age difference.

636
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 2: It's funny and not letting your age dictate how you live,

637
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 2: not acquiescing to that number and deciding that it means

638
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 2: that you are here in your life and there's no

639
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 2: wiggle room like you can always We talk about rising

640
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 2: from the ashes beauty for ashes all the time we

641
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 2: talk about being like an acorn from a sequoia tree

642
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 2: and flourishing after a fire. That's what friend Zelly has

643
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 2: helped me understand about this point in my life moving forward,

644
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,719
Speaker 2: that I still have so much left to accomplish, and

645
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 2: just because I never have doesn't mean I can't. Like

646
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 2: she really infused that in a way. To be honest,

647
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 2: doctor Joy, I've been doing this for over thirty years,

648
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,800
Speaker 2: right acting, making my living as an actress and working

649
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 2: in front of a camera. I never would have attempted

650
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 2: to create a show for myself. Without her, I wouldn't

651
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 2: have done it. I would have been too afraid and

652
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,879
Speaker 2: too intimidated and thought too small of myself to think

653
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 2: that I could ever do something like that. And she

654
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 2: helped me have the confidence to try and to see

655
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 2: how much more capable I was. I mean, in the

656
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,959
Speaker 2: process of this friendship, just in terms of what I've tried.

657
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 2: I've directed a film, I've produced a film, I have

658
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 2: co written a pilot like there are just things that

659
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 2: I have done that I wouldn't have attempted, and not

660
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 2: just like career stuff, but like just the obedience to

661
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 2: the Holy Spirit and to the Lord that moment of

662
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:07,360
Speaker 2: walking up to her hearing so specifically and so sharply

663
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,960
Speaker 2: asked this woman to pray for you. Is how I

664
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 2: opened a school in my backyard during the pandemic. And

665
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,799
Speaker 2: how's my son and his second grade class going into

666
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 2: third grade because their school closed their doors permanently.

667
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 3: And I was.

668
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 2: Able to do that because of the confidence I had

669
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,839
Speaker 2: in what the Holy Spirit was telling me and how

670
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 2: it would lead me to something better, how it would

671
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:33,239
Speaker 2: lead me to a blessing. That obedience led me to

672
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 2: the blessing of this friendship. That obedience led me to

673
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 2: the blessing of having Risen Village for the last three years,

674
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 2: which is the homeschool that I had. That obedience led

675
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 2: me to being able to co write a pilot that

676
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 2: I'm really proud of that I think truly will find

677
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 2: its legs and find a home. But there's just so much,

678
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,840
Speaker 2: even just in terms of how I feel about myself

679
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,799
Speaker 2: as a woman, Like I'm not in a relationship, but

680
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 2: I still feel so encouraged. When I left my marriage,

681
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:04,239
Speaker 2: I thought I would never get married again, I would

682
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:06,880
Speaker 2: never want to. I was so sour on all of

683
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 2: that and having her again see me with fresh eyes.

684
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 2: I know I'm a wife. I don't know who's yet,

685
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 2: but I know I'm a wife. I will marry again.

686
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 2: I will have love in my life again. And I

687
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 2: wouldn't have been able to kind of, I don't know.

688
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 2: I think she accelerated me coming to that conclusion, or

689
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:29,240
Speaker 2: maybe even help me birth it. What would you say, Brandon,

690
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 2: Well would I say, will for the size of help

691
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 2: you close cabinets, You help.

692
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 3: Me get my life in order. I was a hot

693
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 3: mess when she met me. You know, it wasn't just

694
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 3: she was going through a hot mess. And that's part

695
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 3: of what our show is about, too, like kicking off that.

696
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:49,880
Speaker 3: Although it seems like ooh, this famous woman who just

697
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 3: got everything and got it all together, is really peeling

698
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 3: back the layers. And I think that's part of God's

699
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 3: plan when he allowed me to have someone in my

700
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 3: life that has done it for so long. You come

701
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 3: here with all these dreams and all these thoughts that

702
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 3: if you just become successful, that's it, all your problems

703
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 3: are fixed, you'll be happy, And that's just not true.

704
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 3: You know, more money, more problems, right, And how to

705
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 3: be a good steward over all the things that God

706
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 3: puts in your hand, and so again continuing to learn

707
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 3: what it means to be in this kind of level

708
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 3: of success and how to do that well, how to

709
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 3: do that with grace and kindness, and then also just

710
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 3: the importance of the call of my life. Like I

711
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 3: thought that I was just meant to be an actress

712
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 3: and maybe a motivational speaker at some point in my life.

713
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 3: I would never have imagined in a million years that

714
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,240
Speaker 3: I would become a pastor. And I became an ordained

715
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 3: minister during the pandemic. And again things that wouldn't have happened,

716
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 3: same thing if she hadn't encouraged the call of my life,

717
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 3: because there is an idea of perfection which is impossible.

718
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 3: Only God is perfect. But I thought I had to

719
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 3: have all these things together. And again, like I said,

720
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 3: I was a hot mess. And she's very OCD, she's

721
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 3: very clean, she's very particular. Now you go to my house,

722
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 3: I gotta machine towels, I got a duvet, like I

723
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 3: do things that my mother is like. So I know

724
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 3: you've been around people with money now and you like

725
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 3: nice things, but some things you can't afford. So it's

726
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,879
Speaker 3: that kind of thing. You know, I have now adjusted

727
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:30,800
Speaker 3: to shopping in different places, wanting nicer things, caring about

728
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 3: the aesthetic of my home in a way that I

729
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 3: didn't really care about before. But again back to if

730
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say to her that God always says she's

731
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 3: a wife, I'm doing that from the emotional mental perspective,

732
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 3: and she's doing to me from the practical perspective, Like

733
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 3: God is a god of order. You can't be a

734
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 3: wife and run a home if your home doesn't have order.

735
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 3: And she's brought so much structure and order into my life.

736
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: What would you will say? Are the keys to a

737
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 1: long lasting friendship?

738
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 4: Of service?

739
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: Yeah?

740
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 3: Any relationship, Yeah, doesn't survive if you're just worried about

741
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 3: what you're going to get out of it, as opposed

742
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 3: to how do you serve the other person?

743
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you have to take the time to learn

744
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 2: one another because every friend can't handle something said the

745
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 2: same way, Like, it's not a one size fits all

746
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 2: thing if you really care about people. And this is

747
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 2: my opinion, right, but there are people like this is me,

748
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 2: this is who I am. They take it or leave,

749
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. But and that energy may

750
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 2: be fine for other people. There are certain spirits, there

751
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:42,280
Speaker 2: are certain situations that require a different kind of tone,

752
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 2: a different kind of nuanced way of presenting. You can

753
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,799
Speaker 2: still give them the truth. It's just a way to

754
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 2: do it in consideration for who they are and how

755
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 2: they operate. And I think that we have done a

756
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 2: very good job of doing that with one another, of

757
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 2: knowing who the other person is and how they intake

758
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 2: information and what is the best way to be able

759
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 2: to present a perspective or a correction or just an

760
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 2: accountable moment, right, And I think that's a big part

761
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 2: of it too, is like learning each other, really learning

762
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 2: each other so that you can hold each other accountable,

763
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 2: tell each other the truth, correct each other, hype each

764
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 2: other up in a way that brings out their best

765
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,239
Speaker 2: because again, you can do it just point blank do

766
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:31,399
Speaker 2: it and just have a unilateral approach. But I think

767
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 2: if it's nuanced, and if it's structured and particular and

768
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:39,320
Speaker 2: specific to that person and how they operate, and again

769
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 2: the information that you have, you weren't there with them

770
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,800
Speaker 2: from the moment they came onto the planet up until

771
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 2: this point, and there are plenty of moments in between

772
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 2: that they'll experience that you're not a part of, but

773
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 2: just paying attention to those things and trying to funnel

774
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,839
Speaker 2: information and funnel love in a way that they can

775
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 2: be received. It's one of the reasons that book is

776
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 2: so popular, right, the Love Language book is because it

777
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 2: isn't one size fits all. If your love languages gifts

778
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 2: and all I'm doing are acts of service, you're not

779
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 2: going to feel loved. So it's really important to pay

780
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 2: attention to those things within each other. I think that's important.

781
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 2: What else would you say?

782
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 3: I would say the foundation The Bible talks about the

783
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 3: story building your house on sand versus building your house

784
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 3: on the rocks. And so unfortunately, a lot of friendships

785
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 3: are built on sand, so when the storm comes, the

786
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 3: house gets blown away. It cannot stand the test of

787
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:34,440
Speaker 3: time and seasons in the way that a friendship or

788
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 3: a relationship is built on solid rock. And so how

789
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 3: do you build that? Now? For us, building that is

790
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 3: through the foundations right of the good Word that we follow.

791
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 3: And it's about yeah, willing to die to myself, my

792
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 3: own way, my own thoughts, my own beliefs. There are

793
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 3: things that I personally wouldn't do the way she does,

794
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 3: and I know vice versa. I love her enough to

795
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 3: not force my hand and make her do things the

796
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 3: way I think is right. There are things that I

797
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 3: may not agree with. There are things that I might

798
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 3: feel like, girl, you need to be a little more.

799
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 3: You too nice? But still then I remember to say,

800
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 3: your kindness is such a strength and such a gift,

801
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 3: and I'm sorry that people have taken that for granted.

802
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 3: It's important to affirm people of where they are because

803
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,720
Speaker 3: if you can't do that, then you're going to start

804
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:27,720
Speaker 3: putting sand into the house. You're going to start putting

805
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 3: water on the boat. It's gonna sink because people will

806
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:35,719
Speaker 3: drown in feeling criticized and not feeling accepted for where

807
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 3: they are in their process. That's the thing. We are

808
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 3: all works in progress, and if you cannot love someone

809
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 3: in process, then what are we doing in terms of

810
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,360
Speaker 3: that relationship sustaining? And I know that for a fact.

811
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 3: There are other relationships in my life that are no

812
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 3: longer here because I didn't have the capacity to love

813
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 3: them in their process in a way that I have

814
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 3: the capacity for her. And that's also been tough, right

815
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 3: because I don't know that anyone else has experienced it.

816
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:04,319
Speaker 3: And maybe we're going to shout this out to all

817
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 3: the sisters out there listening, that sometimes the love of

818
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 3: your girlfriend is very different and it cannot be replaced

819
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:14,280
Speaker 3: by a man, and a man cannot replace the best friend.

820
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,840
Speaker 3: And I think sometimes men can come into your life

821
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 3: and try to compare themselves to the reverence, respect, and

822
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 3: the place that someone holds in your life and try to, somehow,

823
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 3: in a weird way, want the same place, and it's different.

824
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,840
Speaker 3: You can't have the same spot that she does. And

825
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 3: I think because she's also a celebrity, it makes my

826
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 3: dating life a little complicated. The men be like, why

827
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 3: can I be like I'll be like, bro, you're not.

828
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 2: No, that's not that's not the technotic.

829
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,840
Speaker 3: Sir, sit down. So yeah, single here too, ready to mingle.

830
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break. So Essince, you

831
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 1: brought up the popularity of the love languages, and I

832
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 1: agree with you, like I think people want to know

833
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 1: more about like how they can do a better job

834
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 1: of showing up for one another. And to that end,

835
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 1: you all also had the opportunity to take the Sister

836
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 1: Friend Quiz to find out who you are in your

837
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 1: sister circle, and so I am curious to hear. Have

838
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 1: you shared your results with one another yet we have? Yeah? Okay, okay,

839
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 1: so tell me what were your results?

840
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:45,720
Speaker 2: So I'm the peacemaker, which is totally actually, oh my god,

841
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 2: I'll be ready to fight people.

842
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,880
Speaker 3: Let's pray about it. Let's talk about another chance.

843
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:55,359
Speaker 1: So who were you? Friend?

844
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:58,399
Speaker 3: Silly trying to say I'm the wallflower? Do I seem

845
00:44:58,400 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 3: like a wallflowers?

846
00:44:59,200 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 2: No?

847
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 3: No, does that even sound like that makes any sense?

848
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 2: I take this again.

849
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:06,839
Speaker 3: This quiz is inaccurate.

850
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 1: So maybe you were thinking of some particular group, because

851
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 1: the idea is that in certain circles, you may find

852
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 1: yourself in a you know, more wallflower position as opposed

853
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 1: to I would have picked firecracker for ye, thank you

854
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 1: you are No.

855
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 3: I think maybe it's the way I answered because I

856
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 3: love so deep. I am someone who's like really thoughtful.

857
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 3: I go above and beyond, and maybe that is why

858
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 3: it comes across that I'm a great listener, because that's

859
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,520
Speaker 3: the thing about the wallflower, Like you, I am a

860
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 3: really great listener. Well, I'm the life of the party,

861
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:41,800
Speaker 3: are you for real? Like I'm the one who drags

862
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 3: her out the house. No, man's gonna meet you at

863
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 3: my house doing puzzles with me. We need to go outside.

864
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, but I like that, Like we're going outside.

865
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 1: So yeah, So was there anything else about the quiz

866
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: that was surprising to you?

867
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 2: There were certain questions that I like were applicable all

868
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 2: the like every.

869
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:06,280
Speaker 3: Every answer was or I needed both. Yeah, like which

870
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 3: song is friends? I'm Whitney Houston and that's my best friend.

871
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 3: She real I'm Jesus and Ratchet. They don't call me

872
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 3: the ratchet pastor for nothing. They also called me the

873
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 3: petty pastor. I mean, I got many names in my

874
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:22,720
Speaker 3: inner circle. And therefore, I feel like it's giving both

875
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,319
Speaker 3: it's giving gospel and it's giving.

876
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,760
Speaker 2: That I can't say that other words.

877
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 1: But yeah, okay, So were there any questions in particular

878
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 1: that made you think of your other friend here for

879
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 1: both of you.

880
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 2: The question about like how you show up for the

881
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 2: special milestone birthday. I actually got to experience that because

882
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 2: I turned fifty last year and she produced, I mean

883
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:50,880
Speaker 2: produced my entire birthday, which was like I had a

884
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:54,800
Speaker 2: private chef, I had a makeup artist, I had my friends.

885
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 2: We're still dealing with COVID, so I had my friends visiting,

886
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 2: but in rotation space down six feet apart in the backyard.

887
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 2: But there was a chocouttery board, there was nerves, there

888
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 2: was a ship, pay the waitress with the line my

889
00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:10,800
Speaker 2: dad was here. We had a coordinated zoom with the

890
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:11,919
Speaker 2: East Coast and West coast.

891
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 3: Had people video Oh my gosh, it was and I

892
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 3: had people reenact their favorite scenes of her from certain

893
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 3: frote projects.

894
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was hilarious.

895
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 3: My friends and I recreated First Wives Club her one

896
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 3: of her friends from a very long time. Her and

897
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:34,320
Speaker 3: her husband recreated Dance Flake. Oh my lord, we were screaming.

898
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 2: It was hilarious.

899
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 3: It was a good time.

900
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, But she did all of that, and then

901
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 2: there was a playlist with all my favorite songs. So again,

902
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 2: it's just somebody who knows me and knows me so well.

903
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 2: Because I felt the pressure of turning fifty, and I

904
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 2: was just everyone kept saying, what are you gonna do

905
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 2: for your fiftieth? What are you going to do for

906
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 2: your fiftieth. If it hadn't been for her, fifty would

907
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 2: have come and gone and I would have been like man.

908
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 3: She would have been in her sweats or a one

909
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:01,360
Speaker 3: piece on her couch eating chocolate ice scream watching a

910
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 3: really dark show. That's what she would have done on

911
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,879
Speaker 3: her VIDI she loves breaking bad. It would have been

912
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 3: one of those kind of nights. And I wasn't having it. No,

913
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 3: that's not how we're bringing in fifty.

914
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it was at the end of it, you know,

915
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 2: it's like the way that she orchestrated and the way

916
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:24,120
Speaker 2: that people showed up and the effort that was made

917
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 2: to just honor and celebrate me was just I was like,

918
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:29,839
Speaker 2: I will never ever doubt and I haven't since I

919
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 2: really haven't, So I will never ever doubt that I

920
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 2: am loved.

921
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:34,640
Speaker 4: I will never doubt it.

922
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 1: So what's one thing that you all haven't had a

923
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 1: chance to do as friends together that you would like

924
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 1: to do together one day?

925
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 3: Keep trying, yes, yeah, leave in a country and I

926
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 3: keep trying to schedule a hot air balloon ride.

927
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

928
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 3: It has been my dream since I was nine years old. Yeah,

929
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 3: to get on a hot air balloon because my best

930
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 3: friend when I was nine, her father had a hot

931
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 3: air balloon and they would have a hot air balloon

932
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 3: festival in my small town and my mother wouldn't let

933
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 3: me go on it. Because she was scared and she

934
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 3: hates heights.

935
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 2: But anyway, so yeah, we've been her schedule, my schedule.

936
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 3: It's been a thing. I'm like, I don't have a partner,

937
00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 3: so if I'm going to do a hot air balloon ride,

938
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:12,279
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do it with you.

939
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we're gonna do that soon.

940
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 3: That and we are going to leave the country though.

941
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 2: Now.

942
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 3: Yeah we are for we got invited to a wedding

943
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:19,840
Speaker 3: in Paris.

944
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:22,800
Speaker 2: We bougie friends.

945
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 3: We're going to the Fourth Seasons. It's gonna be my

946
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 3: first time look at me doing Hollywood things because I've

947
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,239
Speaker 3: become so Hollywood according to my friends and family. So

948
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:35,240
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say it out loud for the podcast people.

949
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,799
Speaker 3: I've become Hollywood. I'm going to the Four Seasons for

950
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 3: a wedding in Paris with my best friend.

951
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,480
Speaker 1: What a beautiful trip that sounds like.

952
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 2: No, it's gonna be really fun. I'm super excited.

953
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 1: I love that. Well. I know people are going to

954
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:49,839
Speaker 1: just fall in love with the two of you all

955
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 1: over again after hearing this episode. Where can the people

956
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:55,719
Speaker 1: stay connected with you? Where can we find you online?

957
00:49:56,200 --> 00:50:00,359
Speaker 2: I Am on Instagram and Twitter, as Essence says, and

958
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 2: the new Threads.

959
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 3: Threads I just joined today. I join you did? Tell

960
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 3: me how you join? A tell me? Okay, I knew

961
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 3: you were going to join, you did, but you told

962
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:15,319
Speaker 3: me you can find me at all the things at

963
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 3: Sally hangout, hang out.

964
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 2: With Sally, and it's Sally like cell phones, C E

965
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 2: L I one L Yeah.

966
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 1: Perfect. We will be sure to include all of that

967
00:50:23,840 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 1: in the show notes. So do you think you both

968
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,319
Speaker 1: will be hanging out on Threads for some time?

969
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:28,279
Speaker 2: I want to?

970
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, me too.

971
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:32,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, so far, I'm liking what I'm seeing. Of course,

972
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 2: now Twitter is saying they're gonna sue Threads, so I'm.

973
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 1: Just like, well, thank you both for spending some time

974
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,439
Speaker 1: with us today and sharing your friendship with us.

975
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:46,359
Speaker 2: It's been a pleasure. Thank you for having us.

976
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 1: I'm so glad Essence and France Seally were able to

977
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:55,359
Speaker 1: join me for this conversation. To learn more about them

978
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 1: and to stay connected to their work, be sure to

979
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 1: visit the show notes at Therapy for Black Girls Slash

980
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:04,080
Speaker 1: Session three sixteen, and be sure to text two of

981
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:06,320
Speaker 1: your girls to tell them to check out the episode

982
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 1: as well. If you haven't already and you're interested in

983
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 1: taking the sister friend type quiz they took as a

984
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 1: part of the conversation. You can find it at Sisterhoodhels

985
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 1: dot com slash quiz. If you're looking for a therapist

986
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 1: in your area, check out our therapist directory at Therapy

987
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 1: for Blackgirls dot com slash directory. And if you want

988
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 1: to continue digging into this topic or just be in

989
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 1: community with other sisters, come on over and join us

990
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:33,759
Speaker 1: in the Sister Circle. It's our cozy corner of the

991
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 1: Internet designed just for black women. You can join us

992
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 1: at community dot Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. This episode

993
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 1: was produced by Frida Lucas, Elise Ellis, and Zaria Taylor.

994
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:49,799
Speaker 1: Editing was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much

995
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:52,360
Speaker 1: for joining me again this week. I look forward to

996
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:56,319
Speaker 1: continuing this conversation with you all real soon. Take good care.

997
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,319
Speaker 1: Which friend are you and your sister circle? Are you

998
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 1: the wallflower, the peacemaker, the firecracker or the leader? Take

999
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 1: the quiz at Sisterhoodheels dot com slash quiz to find out,

1000
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,759
Speaker 1: and then make sure to grab your copy of Sisterhood

1001
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 1: Heels to find out more about how you can be

1002
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:19,440
Speaker 1: a better friend and how your circle can do a

1003
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:23,320
Speaker 1: better job of supporting you. Order yours today at sisterhoodheels

1004
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 1: dot com.