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Speaker 1: Hey, I'm welcome to the Short Stuff. I'm Josh, and

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Speaker 1: there's Chuck and Jerry's here too.

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Speaker 2: Get ready for a contentious Short Stuff episode.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's gonna be contentious because I think

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Speaker 1: it's just right. And I think that once you've learned this,

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Speaker 1: you actually feel like if it was contentious to you before,

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Speaker 1: you might feel like a bit of jackass. I know

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Speaker 1: I did.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm gonna have some things to say.

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Speaker 1: Well, let's get into it, okay. You know, Chuck, when

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Speaker 1: you see a sign you're cruising it on the highway.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, baby, you got the wind, Yeah, got windows down,

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Speaker 2: you got bugs on your teeth, yeah, yeah, the whole shebang, right,

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Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden there's a sign up

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Speaker 2: ahead that says the lane you're in right now, buddy,

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Speaker 2: is going to be closing in about a thousand or

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Speaker 2: so feet.

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Speaker 1: That's verbatim, by the way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you jam on the brakes and you get over.

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Speaker 1: Yeah as fast as you can, probably knock another car

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Speaker 1: out of the lane next to you as you get

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Speaker 1: into it. But right after you get it, you come

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Speaker 1: to almost a complete stop because everyone in the lane

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Speaker 1: you were just in did the same thing. And by

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Speaker 1: merging suddenly with another lane, it basically brings traffic to

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Speaker 1: a halt, and it actually is a fairly dangerous thing

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Speaker 1: to do, especially at higher speeds. Yeah, there's another way. Well,

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Speaker 1: as you put this one together and you said, there

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Speaker 1: are two ways. That first way, which you just mentioned

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Speaker 1: just getting right over. The second way, which is to

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Speaker 1: wait until that lane basically runs out and then hop over.

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Speaker 1: Now there is a third way, which is.

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Speaker 2: Just drive until you see someone sitting on their phone,

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Speaker 2: leaving a seven car gap between them, and then you

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Speaker 2: just pop over there. Yes, and it's a joke, but

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Speaker 2: it's really not.

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Speaker 1: No, because the people who stay in that lane that's

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Speaker 1: being shut down and are able to get way far

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Speaker 1: ahead of everybody else in the lane that's the through

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Speaker 1: lane that's not being shut down that everybody had to

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Speaker 1: get over into, they're not actually jerks. They Okay, they

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Speaker 1: may be jerks because they might not actually know this

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Speaker 1: is the thing you're supposed to do, but they're actually

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Speaker 1: know it or not doing the thing you're supposed to do.

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Speaker 1: It's called zipper merging, and you're supposed to essentially stay

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Speaker 1: in that lane that's getting shut down until the last

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Speaker 1: possible moment. You're not supposed to get over before then,

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Speaker 1: because when you do, all sorts of bad things happen.

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Speaker 1: You just stay in that lane and somebody in the

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Speaker 1: next lane lets you in and you just zoom on through.

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Speaker 2: All right. So here's my first problem with that is

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Speaker 2: what happens is you get to the end of that

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Speaker 2: thing and it's called an alternate merge, which means you

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Speaker 2: alternate and everyone goes, you go, I go, I go.

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Speaker 2: That's not what happens in today's America, though. People are jerks,

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Speaker 2: and they they hug the mumper in front of them

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Speaker 2: and say, you're not getting in front of me. And

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Speaker 2: that's what comes up the works is people wait till

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Speaker 2: the last minute and then get into a battle of

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Speaker 2: wills because people don't take turns. If people took turns,

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Speaker 2: this would be as beautiful as the Germans call it

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Speaker 2: rice ver Schluz, which means zipper, the rice ver Schluze system,

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Speaker 2: the Zipper merge. It is beautiful and elegant, except for

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Speaker 2: the fact that Americans are jerks in their cars and

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Speaker 2: don't let people in and don't take turns.

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Kind of I mean, I know what you mean, but

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Speaker 1: I don't fully agree with it, I guess is what

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Speaker 1: I was trying to say.

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Speaker 2: That people do that.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, I think they definitely do do that, but

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Speaker 1: that's not the thing that holds everything up. Let's let's

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Speaker 1: take a break and we'll come back and I will

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Speaker 1: explain my position.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Well, now we're on the road, driving

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Speaker 2: in your truck.

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Speaker 3: Want to learn a thing or two from Josh Chuck.

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Speaker 3: It's stuff you should know, all right, all right, explain away, buddy.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm explaining. Get this. Yes, that causes a slowdown

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Speaker 1: for the people in the right lane, the lane that's

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Speaker 1: being shut down, But that is generally insignificant for that

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Speaker 1: person because that one jerk who's hugging the bumper of

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Speaker 1: the person in front of and won't let them in

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Speaker 1: purposely won't let them in. There's maybe three or four

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Speaker 1: of those people in a row before somebody, like you said,

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Speaker 1: is either not paying attention or is kind harder enough

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Speaker 1: to be like, all right, go ahead, get in, all right. So, yes,

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Speaker 1: it's a bit of a slowdown for the people in

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Speaker 1: the shutdown lane.

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Speaker 2: What not like it would be if everyone just tried

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Speaker 2: to jump over. Yes, that's what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the problem. That's the slowdown. The people who

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Speaker 1: are getting over from the lane that's being shut down. Prima.

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Speaker 1: Surely when you get over at any point before the

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Speaker 1: last possible point to get over, if you get over

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Speaker 1: at any point before then, you are shooting yourself in

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Speaker 1: the foot and everybody else because you you are causing

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Speaker 1: the slow down. You are the reason that this lane

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Speaker 1: is suddenly bumpered a bumper because now we lane and

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Speaker 1: have gotten the through lane that everybody in the closed

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Speaker 1: down lane had to get into. You're the reason that

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Speaker 1: that slowed down and that that's bumper a bumper, and

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Speaker 1: that people are kicked off because an unfair advantage has

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Speaker 1: this been created for the people who are doing what

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to do and staying in the closing lane

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Speaker 1: until the last possible minute.

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Speaker 2: In zipper merging, all right, let me ask you this,

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Speaker 2: is there any data on because there is some data

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Speaker 2: that you found that says if you zipper merge effectively,

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Speaker 2: which never happens, but let's just say it does, it

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Speaker 2: cuts congestion by.

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Speaker 1: Fort get's huge.

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Speaker 3: It's huge.

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Speaker 2: Uh, it is gonna reduce crashes because people are getting

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Speaker 2: I have an issue with this one. People are getting

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Speaker 2: over at the same rate of speed as the people

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Speaker 2: in the through lane. But I generally think this happens

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Speaker 2: when traffic is pretty slow, so it's not like you

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Speaker 2: usually don't see a zipper merge happening when people are

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Speaker 2: going like seventy miles an hour.

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Speaker 1: No, some people really haul and then zip into like

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Speaker 1: a spot all of a sudden, and they have to

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Speaker 1: basically slam on their brakes because they just move through

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Speaker 1: a quick movement over that's forced by the fact that

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Speaker 1: people in the through lane aren't zipper merging they got

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Speaker 1: over too early.

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Speaker 2: Well, my question though, is if you're in the end

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Speaker 2: you may not know this, but if you're in the

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Speaker 2: through lane, I probably do and people are are. Are

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Speaker 2: you see them zippering over and non zippering over? Like

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Speaker 2: should you get over one lane to the left or

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Speaker 2: does that come up the works? Or should you hold

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Speaker 2: the lane?

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Speaker 1: Uh? I don't understand fully, say say it again. So

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Speaker 1: you're in there, you're driving along the lane that's not

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Speaker 1: being shut down.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and people to your right are either jumping

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Speaker 2: over right in front of you or zipper merging correctly. Like,

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Speaker 2: should you jump over a lane just to sort of decongest.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's one thing that you can do.

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Speaker 2: But I try to do that because I just don't

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Speaker 2: want to be I don't want to be a part

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Speaker 2: of that whole scene.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, not only that, by getting over as far

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Speaker 1: as you can away from this terrible miss zipped merge,

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Speaker 1: you're actually saving yourself a lot of time at heartache.

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Speaker 1: You're just getting away from the whole ugly mass. Right, Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's one thing you can do. You can either slow

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Speaker 1: your roll a little bit to let somebody zipper merge

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Speaker 1: in front of you, or you can move over to

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Speaker 1: create space for them to get into at that zipper

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Speaker 1: merge point. Either one is totally acceptable and a nice

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Speaker 1: good thing to do. So yeah, sure I did know

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Speaker 1: the answer to your question. Okay, good to know.

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Speaker 2: Here's my deal is. I used to get over early,

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Speaker 2: but I wouldn't like stop the traffic in that merging

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Speaker 2: lane to do it. I would just see an opening

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Speaker 2: and do it. And if it was early, it's early.

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Speaker 2: Now I kind of like, there's so many people on

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Speaker 2: their phones now. Now I tend to wait to the

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Speaker 2: end because you can generally get over. Yeah, for sure

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Speaker 2: without causing any issue. My big problem is not when

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Speaker 2: it's like a legitimate sort of alternate merge and a

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Speaker 2: lane merging. My problem, and it's when the person is like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you know the highway splits. If you want to go

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Speaker 2: on this highway, you're going that way, and you've got

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Speaker 2: a bunch of people waiting because traffic's backed up, and

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Speaker 2: someone just rides to there's basically no road and tries

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Speaker 2: to jump over, which is not the same thing.

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Speaker 1: So if you have a lane that runs out right

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Speaker 1: in a lane, I'm not talking about a lane running

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Speaker 1: out then yeah, you're talking about for sure. Okay, for

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Speaker 1: sure they're being pushy, and we should explain to some

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Speaker 1: of our listeners and who aren't in the United States,

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Speaker 1: because I don't know that this fully applies. I know

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Speaker 1: in Germany it sounds like people are ziper merging like

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Speaker 1: there's no tomorrow and they're doing really right. But the

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Speaker 1: reason people get over prematurely rather than zipper merge on

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Speaker 1: American highways is because that seems like the fairest thing

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Speaker 1: to do. And so if you're doing that, if you're

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Speaker 1: not taking your rightful place in the back of the

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Speaker 1: line of this long, unnecessarily slow line of traffic. What

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Speaker 1: you're doing is jumping in line. And there are very

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Speaker 1: few things that drive Americans crazier, especially once you have

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Speaker 1: a finely tuned sense of day to day justice. Right,

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Speaker 1: somebody jumping ahead in line, cutting in line. So even

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Speaker 1: though you're zipper merging correctly, you're going into last minute

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Speaker 1: and getting over, you're not trying to jump in line.

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Speaker 1: It's just no one else knows what you know. There's

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Speaker 1: a real danger that somebody might try to shoot you.

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Speaker 1: In the United States is very very slim. The incidents

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Speaker 1: of road radge that result in like gunplay are really

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Speaker 1: hype and talked about in the United States, but statistically speaking,

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Speaker 1: it's really rare. But there's a real chance that you

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Speaker 1: might anger somebody by being so unfair by cutting in line,

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Speaker 1: that they might chase you in their car and shoot

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Speaker 1: at you while you're driving your car. This is another

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Speaker 1: reason why people don't do this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, beyond that rarity, it is just out

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Speaker 2: of hand in the United States, where like if you

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Speaker 2: accidentally cut someone off on the highway, like people in

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Speaker 2: the United States will get out of that lane, speed up,

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Speaker 2: get in front of you, and slam on the brakes

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Speaker 2: to pay you back and potentially wreck themselves. It's nuts

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Speaker 2: how people act in their cars. It's so out of

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Speaker 2: hand and like God, everybody just needs to get it together.

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Speaker 2: Australia is at my experience driving there, they drove the

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Speaker 2: speed limit. If you came up behind someone on the highway,

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Speaker 2: they're like, ah, let's get over out of your way.

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Speaker 2: Then it was everyone that's more New Zealand, but everybody

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Speaker 2: was just so civil on the roads. And you know,

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Speaker 2: we might have Assie's right in and say like that's

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Speaker 2: not the deal mate in the cities or whatever. But

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Speaker 2: when I was driving around the highways over there, I

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Speaker 2: just found everything from moving about in the airport on

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Speaker 2: foot to driving around people were generally just like, no,

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Speaker 2: go ahead, it's fine.

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Speaker 1: Canada is very similar to that, nice nicer people. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's almost like Americans are like deeply angry and divided

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Speaker 1: for some reason. It's a.

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Speaker 2: Lot of states, though, as you found, have put a

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Speaker 2: lot of money into educational campaigns. Signage, for instance, use

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Speaker 2: both lanes to merge point, like until you get to

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Speaker 2: the merge point. Stuff like that, Like they're trying to

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Speaker 2: get the word out by spending money and saying, hey,

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Speaker 2: the zipper merge is where it's at if you're doing

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Speaker 2: it right. But it's just there's so much, like you

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Speaker 2: point out, there's so much sort of habit and muscle

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Speaker 2: memory and how people drive and not wanting to risk

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Speaker 2: getting flicked off or whatever. And by the way, don't

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Speaker 2: shoot birds in your carry there. That's that's two eighties, like,

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Speaker 2: don't do that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And if someone tries to pass you at like

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Speaker 1: a normal rate because you're going slower than they are

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Speaker 1: in the lane that you shouldn't be in, don't speed

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Speaker 1: up so they can't pass you. That makes you literally

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Speaker 1: the worst person on the road in your area. Like

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Speaker 1: you're a terrible person right then you might not be

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Speaker 1: in general. The car brings terrible things out and people,

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Speaker 1: I get that, but in that moment, you're a terrible person,

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Speaker 1: a jerk.

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Speaker 2: And get out of the left lane for goodness.

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Speaker 1: Sake for sure. So some states actually have instituted zipper

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Speaker 1: merging as a rule. In Illinois, if you keep somebody

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Speaker 1: from merging over into a through lane from a lane

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Speaker 1: that's shut down or that's ending, you could be fined.

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Speaker 1: You could be pulled over and they could smack the

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Speaker 1: back of your calves with their nightsticks just for doing that.

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Speaker 2: In Illinois, because there's always a police cruis are there

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Speaker 2: when you need them in traffic.

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Speaker 1: Right exactly exactly.

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Speaker 2: Like when you're going seventy five miles an hour down

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Speaker 2: the highway and you look over and you pass someone

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Speaker 2: that is literally staring in their lap at on a

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Speaker 2: cell phone going like forty seven miles an hour.

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Speaker 1: I know, and I'm sure we sound old, but listen up,

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Speaker 1: everybody who drives looking at their phone, like watching video

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Speaker 1: on their phone. Stop doing that. Please stop doing that immediately.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna kill somebody.

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Speaker 1: Yep. There is one other thing about this though. States

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Speaker 1: have found that if you put up an extra sign

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Speaker 1: or two that says literally use both lanes to merge point,

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Speaker 1: most people will figure out what you're saying and they

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Speaker 1: actually like huh, they actually do the zipper merging.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Hey, I'm down. I mean, Luckily, I don't have

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Speaker 2: to drive on the highway very much because my you know,

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Speaker 2: even when we were commuting to the studio a lot,

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Speaker 2: it was just back road. So since we moved out

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Speaker 2: a bucket, I don't have to get in Atlanta highway

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Speaker 2: trap much. But you know I'm gonna I'm gonna zipper

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Speaker 2: merge from here on out.

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Speaker 1: Me too, buddy. And we should also say, I don't

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Speaker 1: know if we said the reason why they call it

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Speaker 1: zipper merges. If you look overhead at that merge point,

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Speaker 1: it looks like the cars are zipping up, and one

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Speaker 1: of the orange construction cones looks like the tip of

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Speaker 1: a penis caught in the zipper.

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Speaker 2: Is that short?

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Speaker 3: Stuff out?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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