Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and a terminol Ingay, we want to send you
Speaker 2: off InStyle. You wanna welcome you back home? Tell us
Speaker 2: all about it.
Speaker 3: We scared her?
Speaker 4: Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Malorn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do your need ride.
Speaker 5: With Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 5: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 3: And this is a Karen Kilgara.
Speaker 5: We're in the we're in line at Starbucks. I didn't
Speaker 5: want to include your order because I want to respect
Speaker 5: your privacy.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 4: I'd never want someone to surprise me by knowing my
Speaker 4: Starbucks order and.
Speaker 5: Getting it for me right right.
Speaker 4: It would be an incredible invasion of my privacy.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, it's like anytime I find out that someone's
Speaker 5: being paying attention to what I like, it's very it's
Speaker 5: very invasive.
Speaker 3: That's when you know you've got to get out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, somebody gives you a perfect Christmas present, Never contact
Speaker 4: that person again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're up in your business.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Why are you paying so much attention to me?
Speaker 5: How did you know I want this?
Speaker 4: You're a liability now to me. I can't now you.
Speaker 4: Now I've got an open flank. Now I've got a weakness,
Speaker 4: and it's you. Others can get to me through you.
Speaker 3: What are we talking about.
Speaker 5: I think we're just talking about big brother, big brother
Speaker 5: being able to get your information.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 4: We're talking about the dark Web, We're talking about the
Speaker 4: Silk Road, We're.
Speaker 5: Talking about Cambridge Analytica. We're talking about yet how did
Speaker 5: you know?
Speaker 3: Because she's good at coming.
Speaker 5: My wife? Oh, I'm sorry. Once again, I'm always you
Speaker 5: know how, I'm.
Speaker 3: Always constantly fixed fixing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it sounds all right. Last time I got to
Speaker 5: stop this stereo thing that we've been doing people. I
Speaker 5: thought people liked it sometimes, but I think sometimes they're
Speaker 5: listening at work and they their pause is to the right,
Speaker 5: and they only have a one pod in there in
Speaker 5: their left ear, and then so they only hear you
Speaker 5: talking or talking?
Speaker 4: Are you saying there that there are clowns to the
Speaker 4: left of them and jokers to the right, and that
Speaker 4: they're stuck in the middle of us.
Speaker 3: Where wolves a.
Speaker 5: Rug were wolves London where Wolves of London is like
Speaker 5: a high end bag store.
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, oh my god, did you get your bag
Speaker 4: at were Wolves?
Speaker 5: I love it of London. Yes, I did.
Speaker 4: Your bag, but it's actually a plastic bag from the
Speaker 4: grocery store. It's from where Wolves of London.
Speaker 5: And you're just holmeless person, not have it, you're talking
Speaker 5: to a parking meter. I have nothing against the homeless.
Speaker 5: I say homeless when I mean just people. They're in
Speaker 5: the streets, right.
Speaker 3: Just anyone out in the streets.
Speaker 5: My my heart goes out to people without homes.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's good of you.
Speaker 5: I feel like anytime I I make comments about homeless,
Speaker 5: I am talking about I live in Venice and there
Speaker 5: are people with seaweed in their hair that are screaming.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: And it's much more than just they don't have a house.
Speaker 5: It's a thing that makes me feel bad and they
Speaker 5: want people to know. I think about it all the time.
Speaker 4: Yes, you can't help, but when you're on the West
Speaker 4: side of Los Angeles, there is a serious issue every
Speaker 4: single day. Well, and also know everywhere in Los Angeles
Speaker 4: those tent cities are popping up everywhere, they really are.
Speaker 4: It's crazy. On just any street.
Speaker 5: You used to have to go specific. Did you know
Speaker 5: skid Row is on a map that part of downtown?
Speaker 3: Yoh yeah, it's real place.
Speaker 5: It's a place.
Speaker 3: Huh, it's a famous place.
Speaker 5: Was it there and then they knew to move there?
Speaker 5: Or what was it named after? The tents were already
Speaker 5: there and they're like, Okay, we're gonna designate this.
Speaker 4: I would this is a guess, but I think it's
Speaker 4: an educated guess that because it's down near some kind
Speaker 4: of it's either by a like some kind of a
Speaker 4: helping facility, like say the Salvation Army or a city
Speaker 4: run governmental one or something. So I think people naturally
Speaker 4: were gathering there because that's where the place there they
Speaker 4: were getting help. And then people just basically maybe were
Speaker 4: waiting in line to get help or if there was
Speaker 4: like a shelter or something. But I think people, yeah,
Speaker 4: that was the place where if you were down and out,
Speaker 4: there was one place that might help you in the
Speaker 4: entire fucking city, right, And it was down there.
Speaker 5: And so I had nothing to do with the band
Speaker 5: skid Row, that's what you're saying.
Speaker 3: Well, what I heard was, God damn it, if I
Speaker 3: could just.
Speaker 5: Learn that guy's name I know any information I could
Speaker 5: give you his ugly kid Joe specific and it's not
Speaker 5: gonna help.
Speaker 4: But isn't skid Row the guy that the lead singer
Speaker 4: was so weirdly the Sebastian box.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, yeah he does. He does like Broadway.
Speaker 4: I wanted to if I could just have said Sebastian
Speaker 4: Bach and finish that sentence, it would have been such
Speaker 4: a feat.
Speaker 5: Trust me, I'm I'm here for the where pless information.
Speaker 5: You're here to actually talk about things that matter. And yes,
Speaker 5: I have gone down a Ford tourist jingle wormhole.
Speaker 3: Let's hear about it.
Speaker 5: We were singing it. First of all, it's not Now
Speaker 5: there's an American car that has It's now there is
Speaker 5: a personal car that as if up till then Ford
Speaker 5: was just advertising commercial vehicles and buses and trans transport vans.
Speaker 5: Now there's a personal car that has exactly with.
Speaker 3: So impersonal lend anymore.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a personal car and with the shape and
Speaker 5: the look that you've been looking for. Now there's an
Speaker 5: American car that has exactly what we've been waiting for.
Speaker 3: Okay, but to.
Speaker 5: Us, but then there's a key change and uh, and
Speaker 5: there's a lot more of the song. I didn't know
Speaker 5: that commercials used to be like five minutes long. Yes,
Speaker 5: it's an epic song and the guy is really putting
Speaker 5: it out there. And then there's laser sound effects, remember
Speaker 5: the beginning of HBO movies. And it is very epic,
Speaker 5: and there's laser shows wrapping around the oval Ford logo
Speaker 5: and it's very like it's just the most eighties amazing
Speaker 5: thing ever.
Speaker 3: No, I just want to say this, I love it.
Speaker 4: I feel like you may have been watched watching a
Speaker 4: later version because I think the I think the Tourus
Speaker 4: commercial I'm singing is the first one with the very
Speaker 4: first Torus, but then it exploded in popularity and those
Speaker 4: things were everywhere.
Speaker 5: Well I hate to say this, but they are dated.
Speaker 5: And this what I watched was the very first. It
Speaker 5: was the introduction of the tour, but then later it
Speaker 5: became the song like mellowed out.
Speaker 3: A little okay, and then it became America Car.
Speaker 5: He got a little No, that's just the second verse,
Speaker 5: and I think they just started it with the second verse.
Speaker 5: But he used to be.
Speaker 3: The car is crazy, Yeah exactly.
Speaker 5: They thought that, and then they thought that he was
Speaker 5: singing like Joe Cocker halfway through he really was going
Speaker 5: vain temple level.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there is the oh yeah, it's like we all
Speaker 6: know we'll go when something something that's brod and true.
Speaker 5: Tom Tonton, It's like, I'm not kidding. There is so
Speaker 5: many and then it goes back to Drust four. It's
Speaker 5: like it there's Frisbee and apple pie in it. Yes,
Speaker 5: it's nuts.
Speaker 4: I do remember those old cult car commercials, the idealized
Speaker 4: version of America in them, which was predominantly white people.
Speaker 3: But then all black family.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I was just going to say that
Speaker 5: in this commercial that I was just gonna say that
Speaker 5: they cart initially had a flash to a black family.
Speaker 5: It's like, and these guys were okay too, you don't
Speaker 5: worry about it.
Speaker 3: You can all get into a Taurus.
Speaker 5: It's when I was getting ready. It's so funny that
Speaker 5: you said that.
Speaker 4: Because it's it's that thing of like you didn't see
Speaker 4: it as a I didn't see it as like a
Speaker 4: middle class white kid that they were like, look at America,
Speaker 4: and you'd be like, yay, I love America. And then
Speaker 4: it's like, why is the black family not picnicking with
Speaker 4: anybody else at this it's a different party.
Speaker 3: When they cut to that family.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and they had to make sure that the wife
Speaker 5: wasn't they all had the equal tint of skin. It
Speaker 5: was very like, uh, and it's so funny you mentioned
Speaker 5: that because I was also watching before these Paul Ryan
Speaker 5: tours I did. I was watching a lot of speeches
Speaker 5: because I had to write an introduction. There's a video
Speaker 5: that was like a campaign video, and I just wanted
Speaker 5: to copy things Reagan said, and so I watched a
Speaker 5: lot of Ronald Reagan and Bush and even Clinton like,
Speaker 5: as your president, I'm gonna do this, this and this,
Speaker 5: and they kept doing that. They would show a black
Speaker 5: family and it was so gratuitous and obvious that, oh,
Speaker 5: we're at we're at Starbucks by the way. Yeah, everyone's
Speaker 5: gonna know where you got thank you, or everyone's gonna
Speaker 5: know what you spent. But I was I was surprised
Speaker 5: that Regan's video in nineteen eighty one.
Speaker 3: Five thank you, it was.
Speaker 5: Very multi racial. He was really trying, or someone was
Speaker 5: someone was, Yeah, it wasn't his idea. You're right, he
Speaker 5: just wanted to do Star Wars point missiles at other missiles. Right,
Speaker 5: we gotta get the small missiles to shoot the big missiles.
Speaker 5: That was his biggest That was his his main focus,
Speaker 5: which is so funny, is that true? Yeah? That and
Speaker 5: the trade tariff thing which is ruined dark country?
Speaker 3: What is the missiles? Big missiles.
Speaker 4: That was Star Wars where they were gonna bomb the bombs.
Speaker 5: Basically, right, Yeah, that was his. That was billions and
Speaker 5: billions of dollars that my dad would be a better
Speaker 5: person to have in the car right now to talk
Speaker 5: about you too, But my dad's added him about that.
Speaker 5: And then the trade, the trade death which is happening again.
Speaker 5: We're like starting a trade war with China which has
Speaker 5: no end. That could go on forever because they're not
Speaker 5: going to back down. They're fucking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, China doesn't fuck around.
Speaker 5: They aren't gonna fuck around. We're screwed. Yeah, that's where
Speaker 5: Trump had his clothes made. All right, it's fine, we
Speaker 5: don't have to talk about that stuff.
Speaker 4: I think we have talked a little bit about Reagan
Speaker 4: before because also my mom hated Ronald Reagan quite a bit.
Speaker 5: Oh, our moms would have been such.
Speaker 3: Pals, such good friends.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know they would.
Speaker 3: Yep, yep, she really. It's hard to talk and merge
Speaker 3: into fast traffic.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, oh, I know, trust me.
Speaker 3: Okay, good, here we go.
Speaker 5: It's hard to make decisions. I'm trying to make verbal yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh shit, oh god, everybody's going fucking fifty.
Speaker 3: Why because they're dicks? Oh this was my lane. I
Speaker 3: could have gone into it the whole time.
Speaker 5: I don't know. I see Shane is rubbing on the
Speaker 5: I'm gonna do that. I'm sorry. It was rubbing on
Speaker 5: the light. And but that's you know this, We get
Speaker 5: the sights and sounds of actual the driving follies and.
Speaker 3: Foibles that would just happen, although boring was real, and I.
Speaker 5: Guess it wasn't the sites. It's only the sounds of course.
Speaker 3: This.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Well the pictures that your mind projects, oh yeah, mindscreen.
Speaker 5: The things we say will paint colored pictures in your brain.
Speaker 4: Now, Chris, you went on tour as Paul Ryan across
Speaker 4: this great American land, and while you were there you
Speaker 4: told me you met people who listened to this podcast.
Speaker 5: Yes, a lot. It was really pretty cool and I
Speaker 5: love it. And a lot of the times I can
Speaker 5: tell that they were murderinos that transferred over. But one
Speaker 5: of the time I thought these guys there was a
Speaker 5: couple of guys in Madison, and I thought they were
Speaker 5: going to be mad. They weren't smiling. Okay, Then they
Speaker 5: bought a poster and I was like, well, that's a
Speaker 5: weird way to pick a fight, and they just had
Speaker 5: because they had hats. Their brims were folded. It's me
Speaker 5: being closed minded. They had camouflage hats, so I thought,
Speaker 5: well they aren't. And then they're like, hey, we're big.
Speaker 5: Do you need ride fans? I was like, oh wow,
Speaker 5: because I was worried the whole tour that some real
Speaker 5: Paul Ryan fans, you know, because I was in his
Speaker 5: stomping grounds. I was never in his districts as a
Speaker 5: congress person, but I was in. I went to his
Speaker 5: hometown and stood in front of his office and people
Speaker 5: drove by and glared at me.
Speaker 3: That's hilarious, and yeah, and they it well.
Speaker 4: But it makes sense that you would be nervous because
Speaker 4: that's the entire political engagement that anyone has with anyone
Speaker 4: these days.
Speaker 3: You're not going to assume that a.
Speaker 4: Guy wearing camel on his hat, this might be California
Speaker 4: at a Californian idea, but you would be thinking that's
Speaker 4: that's a person who likes hunting and who likes his
Speaker 4: gun control and who likes this, and like it's easy
Speaker 4: to go just really put someone in that corner.
Speaker 5: I think that these guys did like their hunting and
Speaker 5: their gun control. Maybe, but they also like our podcast
Speaker 5: and they're like, well, this is the guy, so I'm
Speaker 5: going to go. And maybe they didn't agree with because
Speaker 5: I was very anti gun during a lot of my
Speaker 5: I just hid my jokes and answer I couldn't write.
Speaker 5: I learned as much as I could about even though
Speaker 5: it was depressing about what Paul Ryan actually thought. But
Speaker 5: then I realized, wait, I just have to fit my
Speaker 5: jokes in these answers, and then it was really fun.
Speaker 5: It's great and but yeah, it's a lot of a
Speaker 5: lot of do you need a red? Fans came and
Speaker 5: I want to thank you, especially Madison. I met some
Speaker 5: really sweet people after the show.
Speaker 3: I want to thank specifically the Deer Hunters.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you love your movie. Yeah, I'm proud that you
Speaker 4: listen to us. Yes, I think it's exciting. Also, I
Speaker 4: think people we've all been led down the primrose path
Speaker 4: to judge each other based on things that actually don't
Speaker 4: really reflect anything right, Like I think if you just
Speaker 4: saw me stand in the back of a club, you think, oh,
Speaker 4: that's a witch. And she also teaches theater, right, you
Speaker 4: wouldn't be giving me all the credit that I am due.
Speaker 4: That's just how we do it, you know. And it's
Speaker 4: easier to go, how will this person be my enemy,
Speaker 4: so you can be prepared if they start yelling at you,
Speaker 4: and then to go they love me.
Speaker 5: I was really ready. Yeah, I was on edge and
Speaker 5: thought that's what I needed to prepare for. But it
Speaker 5: was just people, really, I mean it seemed Milwaukee and
Speaker 5: Madison in Chicago, everyone's really nice. Yeah, and it was
Speaker 5: We met Kathy Myers, who's running for Paul Ryan's district.
Speaker 5: She's a teacher and she was the best she came
Speaker 5: and she was so funny. Oh she during the Q
Speaker 5: and A came up to the stage and we gave
Speaker 5: her the mic and she was so funny and great
Speaker 5: and knew exactly how to play it.
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 5: And I tried to urge her to run Republican just
Speaker 5: because it would give her it had two Democrats. Come on,
Speaker 5: you want to win this thing, run Republican and do
Speaker 5: what you want afterwards, that's what I did. She's like, actually,
Speaker 5: that's a pretty good idea. She was so great. And
Speaker 5: then she hung out and had some beers and she
Speaker 5: had she was there with her daughter and I love it,
Speaker 5: and her boyfriend and her campaign manager and they were
Speaker 5: the best and she was so cool.
Speaker 3: That's great.
Speaker 5: And then we went to Randy Brice's office, the other
Speaker 5: guy running. So I don't know if we're meddling with
Speaker 5: both sides or but that's you know, I'm just playing
Speaker 5: Paul Ryan for them, that's right. And then they helped
Speaker 5: promote it's a backscratchy. It's a double backscratcher, which most
Speaker 5: of uses sweet ass skie trick. But you know there
Speaker 5: was a mutual symbiosis.
Speaker 4: Very cool, yes, And now you're a political comedian, like
Speaker 4: this is what you're saying, Like.
Speaker 5: The Tetsi fly when he warns the buffalo the bird Wait, okay,
Speaker 5: there's a bird that hangs out on a buffalo.
Speaker 4: That any of the bird that's the dentist for the alligator.
Speaker 5: Right, there's all yes, that's better. That's a better one.
Speaker 5: And then they zoom in on him during a Flintstones
Speaker 5: episode and he's like, I hate my job, and then
Speaker 5: the mountains a living. I'm a dinosaur but also a
Speaker 5: garbage disposal. Back under the steak with.
Speaker 3: Me fucking bird always said it's a living.
Speaker 4: It was like I those cartoons because it was like
Speaker 4: Jack Benny style jokes for kids in the eighties.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just like why do we we don't like this comedy?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Why why are they you thinking kids are going to enjoy? Yeah,
Speaker 5: it's I'm in a union.
Speaker 4: At least that's now.
Speaker 5: There's a there's a bird that hangs out on a
Speaker 5: buffalo or a rhino, or when it eats the bugs
Speaker 5: off his back in the rhino, was like, okay, you
Speaker 5: can eat my bugs as long as you peck me
Speaker 5: when there's danger is coming.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 5: So the bird's like, there's a tiger over there, and
Speaker 5: he'll like, peck it's back. He's like, no, thanks for
Speaker 5: stopping to eat my back bugs, giving me enough time
Speaker 5: to run away. I hope I'm not making all that up.
Speaker 4: I mean, I feel like I've heard about these types
Speaker 4: of relationships and I haven't just heard that one specifically.
Speaker 3: Yes, but I love it.
Speaker 5: Mutualism is that what it's called? Yes?
Speaker 3: Is it really?
Speaker 5: I think so?
Speaker 3: Mutualism is a good freeze.
Speaker 5: But but but yes, they these politicians were. Yeah, and
Speaker 5: it's a way to you know, like Randy's gonna come
Speaker 5: to the LA show here and have a fundraising situation,
Speaker 5: and I think a lot of Democrat people will just
Speaker 5: show up, and I think it makes sense for him
Speaker 5: because you know, there's more money here. People in Wisconsin
Speaker 5: maybe don't have extra cat and people in LA out
Speaker 5: of just wanting to fund the Democratic Party will maybe
Speaker 5: come and sure or if they went, you know, they
Speaker 5: maybe X Maries x X Marine Badgers or whatever. Wisconsin Badgers.
Speaker 3: It's a school, the Badgery school. Yeah.
Speaker 5: It's just when I was a big sky there was
Speaker 5: a house I was skiing. There was a house in
Speaker 5: the middle of a ski with a hockey rink and
Speaker 5: it just said Wisconsin Badgers around the house. I'm like,
Speaker 5: why does that guy get, this fan of a college
Speaker 5: team get to have his house in the middle and
Speaker 5: it must be the actual mascot's house or something.
Speaker 3: But I don't understand any of that story.
Speaker 5: It's yeah, I's disjoined it and came in a.
Speaker 4: Weird time and basically, there's a house in the middle
Speaker 4: of the ski run.
Speaker 5: Yes, it was I know. I'm like, why is that
Speaker 5: house good to be here?
Speaker 3: Like they built everything around it and it.
Speaker 5: Was a beautiful big house. Now I think the house
Speaker 5: came later, that nice house. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh like a rich guy was like I want to
Speaker 4: live there, yes, in the middle of everything.
Speaker 5: And they're like, okay, you have enough money. I think.
Speaker 5: I'm used to ski areas where I'm from, being like
Speaker 5: forest service or Native American land, and you can't just
Speaker 5: build willy nilly on. You can't do what you want.
Speaker 5: I think this is private land, okay, and it's that.
Speaker 5: And then further down the road is the Yellowstone Club,
Speaker 5: which is like this millionaire that's where Justin Timberlake goes
Speaker 5: and does his skiing.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's the Have you skied there?
Speaker 5: No, it's not. It's only for rich people.
Speaker 4: You don't not even specialists if you go in there
Speaker 4: and be like, but I can do tricks, No.
Speaker 5: I think because I my tricks serve I'm there of
Speaker 5: the past.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm all trying to alie and stuff.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just I don't have it in me anymore.
Speaker 5: But hopefully we get to do a comedy festival there
Speaker 5: next year and then maybe get a Yellowstone Club.
Speaker 3: Can I pitch an idea?
Speaker 4: Yes, this is how you kind of speaking of smid symbiosis.
Speaker 3: You can just mix all these things together.
Speaker 4: Yes, the next political candidate that you mock, pick one
Speaker 4: that also skis, and then you can tour all of
Speaker 4: the ski resorts in America.
Speaker 5: I wish that this had the only thing that's had
Speaker 5: along those lines was me driving in the snow. I
Speaker 5: was very horrified, but I got one of our shows
Speaker 5: was canceled because a blizzard just came, you know, a
Speaker 5: mid April blizzard. Sure that global climate change.
Speaker 3: No, it's that's fake.
Speaker 5: Yeah it is, It's not real. It was, yeah, it
Speaker 5: It would have been nice to have there was already
Speaker 5: enough to think about. It would be nice though, too.
Speaker 5: I don't think I'm ever gonna I'm getting out of politics,
Speaker 5: is what I'm announcing right now.
Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa hold on.
Speaker 5: The only reason I did it is because I kind
Speaker 5: of looked like that guy. I'm not gonna try and
Speaker 5: find anymore. I just wanted to stand.
Speaker 3: Up, okay, I mean okay.
Speaker 5: It was a fun publicity stunt and it worked and
Speaker 5: I enjoyed it, and it was hard, and my hair
Speaker 5: went gray and I got a weird rash. I got
Speaker 5: a rash under my eyes, I got a chest rash.
Speaker 5: All these little hairs that are gray hair, those are
Speaker 5: new because I was an over my head and I
Speaker 5: was scared.
Speaker 3: Yes, but then it went well, it was fun, well
Speaker 3: at all. I mean that.
Speaker 4: I think that's the exchange that you had to make, right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I guess it is. If you want to do
Speaker 5: a new thing that challenges you to see if you
Speaker 5: can do it, you have to get hives on your chest,
Speaker 5: on your hide. I think that I had it everywhere
Speaker 5: I had, I had bumps everywhere. It's weird how I
Speaker 5: just react to things.
Speaker 3: Oh there's a rummage, Say let that church next weekend?
Speaker 3: A church over there?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, of course we should rummage through their things. Ooh,
Speaker 5: another another free bible. Oh a hymnal book.
Speaker 3: Oh good, a picture of Jesus crying.
Speaker 5: Ooh, look a stack of different Macromee owls.
Speaker 3: Ooh, a jar full of regret.
Speaker 5: Just a jar filled with regrets and charcoal.
Speaker 3: What's that little girl do? Is she by herself?
Speaker 5: Nope?
Speaker 4: Did you see that little kid? When we were driving
Speaker 4: to Starbucks? There's a little kid sitting on the sidewalk
Speaker 4: by himself.
Speaker 5: I don't like that.
Speaker 4: And then but it turned out all his friends were.
Speaker 4: It was like he crossed early and all his friends
Speaker 4: were on the other side of the street and they
Speaker 4: were all like twelve. But it scared me so bad
Speaker 4: just see a little kid by himself.
Speaker 5: And when we were in the eighties rock every kid
Speaker 5: was just kicking a rock on the corner, like I
Speaker 5: wish some strange grown up would pay attention to me.
Speaker 5: It was every day in my life. It was so normal.
Speaker 3: It was standard fair.
Speaker 5: You just hung out at an intersection of two dirt
Speaker 5: roads and waited.
Speaker 3: To interact with a stranger.
Speaker 5: You just waited.
Speaker 3: Didn't have a job, was driving around during the day.
Speaker 5: Oh god, that's so scary.
Speaker 3: It's insane. Yeah. Child safety is a recent invention.
Speaker 5: And it's scared of my heart. Sometimes people can be
Speaker 5: a little I was paranoid about it. I think that
Speaker 5: my mom talked about it a lot because every time
Speaker 5: but I still walked from the daycare place to school.
Speaker 5: It was just a few blocks. But I think the
Speaker 5: daycare people just were like looked down the window and
Speaker 5: they're like, ah, he's fine. They'd watched me walk halfway
Speaker 5: it was just but I the whole time, I thought
Speaker 5: I'm gonna get any van. It was always a white van.
Speaker 5: Any van that went by. I'm like, well, this is
Speaker 5: this is it, this is grabbed. And I knew what
Speaker 5: happened after that. I knew because that's what it was.
Speaker 5: My fear. I'm not kidding, it was my fear. I
Speaker 5: was worried about it. I knew they wouldn't just push
Speaker 5: me around.
Speaker 3: Story about the.
Speaker 5: Hustler, the rustlers or tough skins were coming off.
Speaker 4: Do you remember that story Julian told us about when
Speaker 4: he was like six and he was playing at a
Speaker 4: playground and basically his friend bullied another boy and then
Speaker 4: his friend left and the dad of the boy they
Speaker 4: bullied came, grabbed Julian and threw him in the back
Speaker 4: of a van. But they were driving around to find
Speaker 4: the other kid. But like Julian was like six and
Speaker 4: kind of didn't know what was going on. Oh my,
Speaker 4: he was essentially and for all intents and purposes, kidnapped.
Speaker 4: But it was because this dad was like, I want
Speaker 4: to find the kid that hit my kid in.
Speaker 5: The face, and you're gonna help me find.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, And then he just got dropped off at home.
Speaker 4: He was It was like best case scenario of a kidnapping.
Speaker 5: Oh wow. Yeah, it was a very utilitarian kidnapping. It
Speaker 5: had its purpose, it didn't.
Speaker 3: Yes, it was entirely platonic.
Speaker 5: That's a weird dad, though. It's like, who needs revenge
Speaker 5: on a six year old?
Speaker 4: That's a meth dad. Or that's a dad that's recently
Speaker 4: been fired. That's a problem dad.
Speaker 5: That was about something else. Yep, that was about a foreman.
Speaker 5: Was really just mad at your boss, sir. I wish
Speaker 5: I was that smart of a six I constantly I
Speaker 5: don't want to go back in time and relive life,
Speaker 5: but it would be so fun to be six years
Speaker 5: old and just have our brains just for a day.
Speaker 5: Ye tell people off and call people out and be
Speaker 5: like this amazing kid. By the end of the day,
Speaker 5: you'd make millions of dollars somehow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you'd definitely end up on TV.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Did I ever tell you the story of when I
Speaker 4: was six and it was the first year I played
Speaker 4: softball and my sister was two years older than me,
Speaker 4: and she was on a different softball team. So in
Speaker 4: the first softball game of the day was my softball game,
Speaker 4: and then afterwards her team played, and in my softball game,
Speaker 4: the the mother, the mother of one of the players
Speaker 4: on the other team, was also the first base umpire
Speaker 4: and at one point she called a girl on her
Speaker 4: own daughter's teams that was clearly out oh no, and
Speaker 4: then and everyone was like no way, like you did
Speaker 4: not just do that, and she was like nope, out out,
Speaker 4: and she like stuck by it. And then the next game,
Speaker 4: that same woman was the coach of my sister's team,
Speaker 4: and so then we were all we all had to
Speaker 4: sit together on the same side of the field. And
Speaker 4: I do not remember doing this, but my mom told
Speaker 4: me that I did it. The lady walked after off
Speaker 4: her and goes, good game, honey, and I go.
Speaker 3: You cheated. You're an adult and you cheated. That's their yelled,
Speaker 3: like yelled.
Speaker 4: It into her face in front of everybody, And my
Speaker 4: mom said she couldn't stop laughing.
Speaker 3: She just had to like walk me away.
Speaker 5: That's so great. What do you remember her?
Speaker 4: What her response was, Uh no, Because the memories that
Speaker 4: I have of it, I remember what like softball field
Speaker 4: it was on. I remember the day, and I definitely
Speaker 4: remember the feeling of like what this is like a
Speaker 4: movie of somebody being bad. But I'm confusing her face
Speaker 4: now with like two other relatives face from my childhood,
Speaker 4: so she just looks like kind.
Speaker 3: Of a mean old lady and I don't remember.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, details. That's so great. Yeah yeah, I have
Speaker 5: so many memories that I don't actually recall. It's just
Speaker 5: the recollection of my parents telling me my whole life. Yes,
Speaker 5: and uh yeah, it's I can't think of any examples,
Speaker 5: but that's so great. That's exactly what I'm talking about.
Speaker 5: If you could just be all the way an adult
Speaker 5: and just go back and have days like that where
Speaker 5: you just called out adults for cheating. Yep, you said
Speaker 5: you're a weirdo. You don't stare at those people like that. Yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: I know what you're up to. I'm from the future.
Speaker 3: I'm not scared of you.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Oh yeah. I'd also have to know an adult
Speaker 5: have adult sensibilities when it came to physical defending myself.
Speaker 3: Oh right.
Speaker 5: So I'm also like a little kid who knows karate.
Speaker 5: Not that I know karate. Now, easy, sir, easy, We're
Speaker 5: all excited to get our kids home. Yes, but you
Speaker 5: don't need to be pulling out.
Speaker 3: Let's just not go pulling out everywhere.
Speaker 5: God, they're all.
Speaker 3: God. I hated school.
Speaker 4: It's two forty five right now, and all these kids
Speaker 4: just get out of school, and that is the best
Speaker 4: feeling ever.
Speaker 5: I didn't like school either, It's just all.
Speaker 4: I wanted when I was in school was to find
Speaker 4: out what everyone else was doing. I was obsessed with
Speaker 4: what people did when all the kids were at school.
Speaker 5: Oh, what do you even like kids that weren't at
Speaker 5: school or people.
Speaker 4: I just wanted to know what was happening in my
Speaker 4: town that, like I wouldn't be able to see because
Speaker 4: I was stuck at school right.
Speaker 5: Right, locked in a room, being for uced to do remedial.
Speaker 4: Learning, dupid dumb learning learning, how to tell time? See,
Speaker 4: every one of these kids has a parent holding their hand. Yeah,
Speaker 4: And when we were growing up, little kids like that
Speaker 4: would walk home alone.
Speaker 3: That little like those are six year olds.
Speaker 5: It's weird. It is weird. I occasionally will see kids
Speaker 5: out on their own, and I do want to intervene
Speaker 5: and be like, where are your parents? But then all
Speaker 5: of a sudden, I'm the kids, I'm the guy.
Speaker 4: Now you're in play, you're being observed.
Speaker 5: I one time, we were downtown in Missoula, which isn't
Speaker 5: a huge town, but it's it's It was miles back
Speaker 5: home and my sister and dad were in the front
Speaker 5: and I was to get it. I was getting in
Speaker 5: the car last and they just thought I had gotten
Speaker 5: in and they drove off without me. I've told you that.
Speaker 5: It was horrifying.
Speaker 3: And I've told you. I mean you've told me, because
Speaker 3: I have the exact same story too.
Speaker 5: Oh right. It was I was the younger. Maybe maybe
Speaker 5: I was young, but a guy tried to help me,
Speaker 5: and he was the enemy. When he's like, are you okay?
Speaker 5: And I was like, leave me alone, You're gonna kill me.
Speaker 5: He's like, well, I guess the kid's on his own. Kid,
Speaker 5: I can't yeah, I can't remember how I think my
Speaker 5: dad once he got home, he freaked out and retraced
Speaker 5: his steps, and I was just you and it seems
Speaker 5: like I'd run halfway home, but it was probably a block.
Speaker 5: And one man tried because I was like, I was frantic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I bet I've been left. They don't want me anymore. Well,
Speaker 3: that's what happened.
Speaker 4: I was in kindergarten and I watched my mom was
Speaker 4: driving carpool that day and there was like three different
Speaker 4: families of kids getting in the car and I just
Speaker 4: was again the last one in, but I didn't like
Speaker 4: the kids shut the door and I was standing there
Speaker 4: and the car drove away and then I just immediately
Speaker 4: burst into tears.
Speaker 3: And whatever teacher was standing there was like, Karen, she's
Speaker 3: going to come back immediately.
Speaker 4: And my mom said that they were driving and that
Speaker 4: she was like, Karen, you're quiet today, because.
Speaker 3: Of course I was the big loudmouth. It'd never stop talking.
Speaker 4: Honey, you're quiet today. And then nobody said anything. They're like,
Speaker 4: Karen's not back here.
Speaker 5: Sorry, your Jane's rubbing on the Sorry. I yeah, I
Speaker 5: I never got to go to a had a carpool situation.
Speaker 3: Close.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I guess that's why. Yeah, small town. Well, and
Speaker 5: they dropped me off at a house and then I
Speaker 5: hung out there for a while. I can't remember anything
Speaker 5: about who. That was an older lady, I think, And
Speaker 5: then i'd walk from there and then I was in
Speaker 5: the daycare.
Speaker 4: And so you you stopped at a safe house on
Speaker 4: your way to school.
Speaker 5: Yes, it was a halfway out. Well, you know, I
Speaker 5: spent most of my early childhood hooked on a bevy
Speaker 5: of barbituitz.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So then you know, they put me in the old
Speaker 5: little kid halfway house where I lifted little weights and
Speaker 5: I got a little kid work release program. Yep.
Speaker 4: Nice, you got your tats. You earned some respect.
Speaker 5: They were Yeah, they were very little kid tats.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 5: I just liked the idea of little kid in prison.
Speaker 5: I mean it's terrible. It's a terrible idea.
Speaker 3: Uh, little kids ran it. It would be great.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it'd be pretty cute if.
Speaker 4: You got if you removed the adult element entirely, that
Speaker 4: would be it would be straight up bugsy alone.
Speaker 3: But prison, that's awesome.
Speaker 5: Just a warden and a diaper.
Speaker 3: Hold on.
Speaker 4: I think we need to mail this idea to ourselves
Speaker 4: because it's really fucking good and someone's going to steal it.
Speaker 3: Little kid prison, Yeah, okay, little kid prison. That's a
Speaker 3: production of do you need to ride Enterprises?
Speaker 5: Yeah? We right now, Elsie. Officially, this is the time stamped.
Speaker 4: Digital time stamp.
Speaker 5: This is a contract pending announcement our idea little kid prison.
Speaker 4: We're driving by a restaurant right now called Well it
Speaker 4: says happiness you can eat.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then it says hungry Fox.
Speaker 3: Hungry Fox, it's all.
Speaker 5: They just were throwing tarts at a word board.
Speaker 4: Word board, you know those word boards where I think
Speaker 4: we might be in, like Sun Valley right.
Speaker 5: Now, Sun Valley, Utah.
Speaker 3: We're way the fuck out of Utah right now.
Speaker 5: I hurt my hand hurts.
Speaker 3: I stopped shaking it around.
Speaker 5: It feels good. It's part of my therapy. No I
Speaker 5: broke my hand.
Speaker 3: Is it really part of your therapy?
Speaker 5: No? No, I'm supposed to take it out of this
Speaker 5: little cast half cast. It's a little Phantom of the
Speaker 5: opera mask for my hand. But I was skateboarding, and
Speaker 5: you know, I was worried about my hip. I've been
Speaker 5: doing all the therapy and everything to get my hip better.
Speaker 5: And I fell on it and it and in a
Speaker 5: very dramatic way. I was with all my friends. We're
Speaker 5: having a good time. My leg felt good. I messed
Speaker 5: up and I fell. I got a little frustrated, but
Speaker 5: my hip was fine. But when I got while I
Speaker 5: was frustrated, I punched my skateboard and I broke my hand.
Speaker 5: Oh and my hip was fine. Oh and I don't
Speaker 5: it was. It wasn't like I got fury and you know,
Speaker 5: like when I was a little kid and I try
Speaker 5: and dent my locker at school, I just I feel
Speaker 5: like my bones are brittle. It was so when it
Speaker 5: happened and I was like, oh, I clearly broke my hand.
Speaker 5: There was a little thing jetting out, not of the skin.
Speaker 5: I just pushed on it and fixed it. But it
Speaker 5: was like that happened too easily. Am I a brittle?
Speaker 5: What do I have? A Benjamin button bones?
Speaker 3: Are you turning into a baby?
Speaker 5: I think I'm turning into a It's a weird hybrid
Speaker 5: old man baby. I am aging, but I'm also becoming
Speaker 5: the size of a baby. So I'm shrinking and I'm
Speaker 5: getting my arms are getting fatter, and my face is
Speaker 5: getting rounder, but I'm still wrinkling, okay, and still on
Speaker 5: the inside my organs are aging great.
Speaker 3: And then you also still wore glasses.
Speaker 5: Yes, that's the other thing. And my vision has gone
Speaker 5: downhill in the last two weeks where I read this
Speaker 5: flat Jack Pancake mixed box because it's racist, as Paul right.
Speaker 5: I used to read this box all the time. I'll
Speaker 5: do that here, and months ago I could read it.
Speaker 5: I could not read it. It just all and yet
Speaker 5: like yesterday I noticed I was like looking at my
Speaker 5: phone and I'd have to hold it away. I've had
Speaker 5: seventeen twenty one vision or whatever, I've had better than
Speaker 5: it's been so good. I've never had to learn what
Speaker 5: the with the fraction? Yeah, it's twenty twenty better than
Speaker 5: twenty twenty. It always has been. It's been my uh
Speaker 5: you know, it's something I'm proud of, and it just disappeared.
Speaker 3: Well you are are you like thirty eight?
Speaker 5: I'm a forty three year old man.
Speaker 3: Are you Chris?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you look good. Well, come on, I mean on
Speaker 5: this outside.
Speaker 3: But my eyes are where it matters.
Speaker 5: Wrinkley old man.
Speaker 3: I feel like.
Speaker 4: Because normally it's around in your late thirties, but maybe
Speaker 4: you just you got to keep it a little while longer.
Speaker 3: But yeah, that's what happened to me.
Speaker 4: Where my sister, because she's two years older, she always
Speaker 4: had worse vision than me, and I just tracked right
Speaker 4: in her wake of my vision failing in the same
Speaker 4: time frame hers did. So she'd be like, oh, you're
Speaker 4: gonna need contact lenses next year. Oh wow, Like I
Speaker 4: think when you when there's somebody else that's like older
Speaker 4: than you, right, and you know what's going on. It's like, oh,
Speaker 4: it's more obvious, squinting.
Speaker 5: I have to ask my sister Lisa.
Speaker 3: Yeah, communicate with Lisa more.
Speaker 5: I think that you're right. I should anyway. It doesn't
Speaker 5: have to be about our eyeballs.
Speaker 3: No, you can talk about hips. You can talk about skateboarding.
Speaker 5: Lisa, are you getting our mother's hip? It's inevitable. I'm
Speaker 5: wearing all her old jeans now.
Speaker 3: Because you don't have her hips. You have a jean.
Speaker 5: Look at me, jazz dance I love. I love Rob Cruise.
Speaker 5: I don't know. She used to go to see a
Speaker 5: guy named Rob Quist.
Speaker 3: He was like a boyfriend.
Speaker 5: No, maybe hell Ooh it's Armenian.
Speaker 3: Oh genocide, that's great.
Speaker 5: Ide appreciation her Commemoration Day appreciation. Oh god, No, raising
Speaker 5: money for cancer to help promote cancer.
Speaker 3: I'm against cancer.
Speaker 5: Oh wait, okay, I.
Speaker 3: Don't want to raise money for it.
Speaker 5: I had the wrong idea.
Speaker 4: I guess my pool man, and I know it's a brag.
Speaker 4: I try not to talk about the poolman that much.
Speaker 5: Oh is he the guy with the little shorts that
Speaker 5: you're always whipping him with a towel.
Speaker 4: I have to say my Poolman is hot. He's not young,
Speaker 4: but he is. He's very manly Armenian man. But he's
Speaker 4: also the loveliest. And there were times when I was
Speaker 4: super broke, like a couple of years ago. There was
Speaker 4: one time he showed up and I was like, I
Speaker 4: will have a check for you next week, and he
Speaker 4: was just like.
Speaker 3: Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.
Speaker 4: Like it's on him or I'm like, it's what you
Speaker 4: do for a lif that's right. But anyway, he showed
Speaker 4: up at my house yesterday when he normally comes Tuesday,
Speaker 4: and he said, I come, I come today because tomorrow
Speaker 4: is their Armenian genocide.
Speaker 3: And you made it sound like it was happening tomorrow
Speaker 3: or right, right.
Speaker 5: Well we have to do something. They're stopping.
Speaker 3: Why are you cleaning pools today?
Speaker 5: Yet?
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 5: We were podcasting the last time where I was wondering
Speaker 5: why all these flags were waving and we were driving
Speaker 5: through Glendale and it was they were everywhere. Yeah, the
Speaker 5: flags not they not. P I don't say that about people,
Speaker 5: especially when I'm talking about something like a genocide. Yeah,
Speaker 5: guess the flags were everywhere because the people were also.
Speaker 4: Because because Glendale has the highest percentage of Armenian population
Speaker 4: in anywhere in the world other than Armenia.
Speaker 5: Did you know that that does make sense?
Speaker 4: But wow, yeah, that's where pretty much everybody that lives in.
Speaker 3: Do you think Glendale's I think.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's per capita concentration not or is it a
Speaker 5: numbered like just sheer numbers.
Speaker 3: I got to get into my analytics.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we gotta, we gotta get into that encyclopedia. Brian,
Speaker 5: do you remember how expensive encyclopedias were when someone had
Speaker 5: come door to door and your parents are gone. They
Speaker 5: come in, they eat some of the food, everything else
Speaker 5: that's blurry. You have to write a check, you have
Speaker 5: to fort your dad's signature. It's for hundreds of dollars
Speaker 5: and it's missing. I gotta getcl The N and M
Speaker 5: N through M was never that book was always gone.
Speaker 3: That's the most popular book.
Speaker 4: Mollusks, muskets, fucking Mickey Mouse.
Speaker 5: You pulled out my whiskey. You pulled out my whiskey. Laugh,
Speaker 5: Oh the oh you thought of so many good ms,
Speaker 5: real quick, good fun time.
Speaker 4: There is truly a ton of Armenian gen People just
Speaker 4: are driving around the flags because they're they're commemorating it.
Speaker 3: Oh, no, it's a car accident.
Speaker 5: No, this is a commemorative car accident.
Speaker 3: This is the real deal.
Speaker 5: Wow. I don't think they should be fighting.
Speaker 3: Please don't fight. She's gesturing a lot.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, they're doing a lot. She's like, but I
Speaker 5: don't understand why you ran into me. I understand how,
Speaker 5: but why why did you do it? Yeah, she's taking
Speaker 5: advantage of how. That's a nice man. I don't or
Speaker 5: maybe it's the other way around. It could be that way.
Speaker 5: Let's go, let's turn around and square things out. For
Speaker 5: I'm a guy coadjuster.
Speaker 3: You stand over there.
Speaker 5: Everything you say from this point forward will be representing
Speaker 5: you me in a court of law. I don't know
Speaker 5: all the words. Sit down, ma'am.
Speaker 4: This is our new podcast, Yes, Imed and your Sergey
Speaker 4: doul Her and the comedy that comes forth.
Speaker 5: With When I had my epic rear ending days before
Speaker 5: we started in your old fit, and it was the
Speaker 5: the interrogation that happened afterwards, it was one of the
Speaker 5: most I'm like, no one's gonna get take control over
Speaker 5: my brain and make me say the wrong thing. But god,
Speaker 5: she was really good at it, and we really were
Speaker 5: at a little table with a bright light. Wait, I
Speaker 5: thought your head went forward and then back. You're saying
Speaker 5: the whiplash went back and then forward, because before it
Speaker 5: was the other way around. And I'm like, like, it
Speaker 5: was awful. And I would get so frustrated and be like, ma'am,
Speaker 5: do you like your job? Is this enjoyable? Like I
Speaker 5: was losing it, but we we still got the h
Speaker 5: That's one thing I learned. And this is just driving advice,
Speaker 5: and it's part of the theme the podcast. If you get
Speaker 5: in a car wreck, don't don't make sure you can
Speaker 5: get the cops to show up. Get an accident thing.
Speaker 5: Because he didn't do this guy drove away. He didn't
Speaker 5: have insurance and no one's gonna hunt him down. No,
Speaker 5: he just left town.
Speaker 3: I think I'm sure he did.
Speaker 5: I still follow him on Twitter, but I never said
Speaker 5: anything to him. He's a trainer. He lives in Denver.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, his dad's a male clinic doctor. Yeah, I
Speaker 5: know exactly what he looks like. He's in great shape,
Speaker 5: he's been working on his cardio. He's lost a bunch
Speaker 5: of weight.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, it's the guy I'm scared right now
Speaker 4: of you.
Speaker 5: Well, I was looking for the right time to be like, hey,
Speaker 5: now that you lost some weight, give us money. I do.
Speaker 5: I do. I am a little weird when I hear
Speaker 5: I'm like so and so this guy killed someone, or
Speaker 5: there's you know, I find them on Facebook and I
Speaker 5: look at their pictures because the no they they're just
Speaker 5: people and you can find them whenever. It's like so
Speaker 5: and so murdered someone in Texas, and then I look
Speaker 5: it up Texas, look up their name. There they are
Speaker 5: wearing with a Confederate flag behind them. There was some
Speaker 5: guy that there's some guy that in guy in gyle
Speaker 5: beat them. What's his name? I'm I'm he there was
Speaker 5: some guy that he posted there's an article about him
Speaker 5: like he got bit by a rattlesnake and in the
Speaker 5: head by a bear and then by a shark, all
Speaker 5: within four years. And so it was like and I
Speaker 5: was like, oh wow. And then I saw he's like
Speaker 5: an outdoorsman. Found him on Facebook and it's it's all
Speaker 5: Confederate flags, like he's a he's a lunatic. Yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 5: well he the tweet was like maybe you shouldn't fuck
Speaker 5: with animals or I'm like, well, he also shouldn't fuck
Speaker 5: with Confederate flags. Maybe the animals are trying to tell
Speaker 5: you to stop being a.
Speaker 3: Dick. Maybe you're not that smart.
Speaker 5: Maybe maybe maybe I think that's probably what it is.
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, and the bear, I have to say
Speaker 5: his bear situation. I really because all of his pictures,
Speaker 5: it was like, I know what year they all happened.
Speaker 3: It's so crazy that you can get that detail.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And the only reason it took four years is
Speaker 5: because the snake thing happened a long time ago. But
Speaker 5: the bear in the shark that was like this year. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and the bear his head teeth when.
Speaker 3: Bears are so scary, they're monsters.
Speaker 5: In the in the article that I read, it's just like, yeah,
Speaker 5: grabbed me and dragged me a few feet and my
Speaker 5: friend scared him away. But no, I saw on his
Speaker 5: Facebook right next to uh, don't tread on me flags,
Speaker 5: which I think is a gun thing. They there was
Speaker 5: like full on teeth marks in his head and like crushy.
Speaker 3: Skull time shit.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Ryan Seacrest has a terrible smile.
Speaker 3: Well it's quite empty.
Speaker 5: It's an empty smile.
Speaker 3: As you look at that picture, there's billboard.
Speaker 4: We're in the part of Los Angeles and we drive
Speaker 4: out here a lot where there's just weird, random billboards
Speaker 4: for things that either you've never heard of or you
Speaker 4: would never watch, like Ryan Seacrest's KIS radio show. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 4: and he the picture that we were just looking at.
Speaker 4: He looks like a middle aged housewife who got some
Speaker 4: face work done.
Speaker 5: Yeah. He's got the same smile as Vana White. It's
Speaker 5: so strange.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and the eyes are dead.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Ryan, he was our number one fan secretly until
Speaker 4: this ball. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Probably, you know, I think about that all the time.
Speaker 5: What if Seacrest was a big listener.
Speaker 4: If that's true, I would say, stop sexually assaulting people?
Speaker 5: Oh really yeah, Oh cressed out, get out?
Speaker 3: Get out?
Speaker 5: Really we're kind of it.
Speaker 4: Oh his wardrobe person had there's Yeah, it's very bad.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 4: And that's the kind of thing they do, not like
Speaker 4: somebody like Bryan Seacrest, where he's literally hosting five huge
Speaker 4: conglomerate based things.
Speaker 5: He doesn't have time to date.
Speaker 3: You got to speed, you got to grab a clivers
Speaker 3: near you.
Speaker 5: Maybe I could pencil you in right now. Put down
Speaker 5: my face makeup? How I heard my help out?
Speaker 3: But no, I don't. I don't want to because you
Speaker 3: have dead eyes. Yeah, and the smile of a lizard. Yes, yes,
Speaker 3: it is a lizard like it was very reptilian. Look
Speaker 3: at these two. What you're doing? Oh this is the airport?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Oh we're jet sweet.
Speaker 5: Let's drive out on the tarmac.
Speaker 3: That's where rich people go to take their little jets.
Speaker 5: Oh sure. You know though, my manager Jessica, who's the best,
Speaker 5: And she ran the whole Paul Ryan thing and it
Speaker 5: went very thank god. She did it all for yeah's
Speaker 5: but her husband flies and they got a plane for
Speaker 5: like sixteen thousand bucks, like the price of a car.
Speaker 5: And they use these airports. There's no like charge. They
Speaker 5: fly around all the time on a regular person's budget.
Speaker 3: That's awesome.
Speaker 5: They're like, do you want to go to Palm Springs?
Speaker 5: We have a little plane.
Speaker 3: I'm like what, you know what?
Speaker 4: She made a real good moot. Well, because if he's
Speaker 4: the pilot, you're done. That's all you need.
Speaker 3: You got the pilot.
Speaker 5: He flies for fun. He just flies around. God.
Speaker 4: Also, pilots are so did you hear the recording of
Speaker 4: the Southwest pilot and she she was having to report
Speaker 4: in to air traffic Control because part of the.
Speaker 3: Engine fell out.
Speaker 4: No, God no, and she's like cool as a cucumber
Speaker 4: and basically lands this Southwest flight.
Speaker 5: Did it just happen? Yeah, In the the explosion of
Speaker 5: that engine was a person. And this is the worst.
Speaker 5: Is this partially partially sucked out of the plane partially?
Speaker 3: Is this true?
Speaker 5: Yeah? It did just happened. An engine blew up. It
Speaker 5: caused a momentary something with the pressure, but a person
Speaker 5: was partially pulled from the plane, which means and they
Speaker 5: later passed. All you have to do is hear the
Speaker 5: word partially though, and it's like, wow, everyone on that
Speaker 5: plane saw something terrible that day.
Speaker 4: Wait a second, Yes, the plane because of the explosion,
Speaker 4: had a window go out and somebody got sucked out partially.
Speaker 5: But I know all you have to do is google
Speaker 5: the word partially an airplane. There aren't pictures. I've already
Speaker 5: been to graphic. I mean, this person.
Speaker 4: Passed because I thought for a second you were saying sorry,
Speaker 4: but I thought you were saying that they were hiding
Speaker 4: in the airplane engine and that's the partial.
Speaker 3: No, they were just sitting there.
Speaker 5: Asking for peanuts and all of a sudden, Now good.
Speaker 4: That never happens. We need if you're on a plane
Speaker 4: right now. You need to know that you're safer in
Speaker 4: your Yes.
Speaker 5: Thank you for listening while in the skies.
Speaker 3: But you know that's crazy.
Speaker 5: It makes me want to have an aisle seat from
Speaker 5: now on.
Speaker 3: You gotta put that seatbelt on.
Speaker 5: He and it was such a detailed text about what
Speaker 5: he experienced. I will show it to you later. But
Speaker 5: my friend was on a plane and he heard commotion
Speaker 5: up front. People kind of cried out and in a
Speaker 5: way that they were scared, and there there was just
Speaker 5: a little bit of like turbulence for a second. But
Speaker 5: then he said he looked up and there was like
Speaker 5: red jelly or something on hitting the ceiling. He said,
Speaker 5: it looked like someone was squirting, and he's like, oh God,
Speaker 5: don't let that be blood. A bird hit the side
Speaker 5: of the plane, broke the outer window momentarily when it
Speaker 5: hit the inner window momentarily created a gap and then
Speaker 5: it sucked back. So for a second it wasn't even
Speaker 5: noticeable pressure wise, but it was enough time for the birds,
Speaker 5: the squist bird to shoot through this gap, and however
Speaker 5: the pressure was going it shot bird blood onto the
Speaker 5: ceiling into the plane. A bird while in the air
Speaker 5: if I will send you his text and you will
Speaker 5: not doubt a word of it, because he's one of
Speaker 5: the most honest friends. I know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so awful.
Speaker 5: It was so awful, and he said it was. He's like,
Speaker 5: and this is going to sound makeup, made up and
Speaker 5: insanely like everything he prefaced it with. I know that
Speaker 5: sounds crazy, So I believed all of it, and I yes.
Speaker 3: And you acknowledge how insane your lie is.
Speaker 5: Yes, and it's it's gonna sound crazy. But then some
Speaker 5: translucent bird friends with angel wings on top of their
Speaker 5: regular wings.
Speaker 3: Carried off his soul double wings.
Speaker 5: I'm telling you, I saw it all two Eyesctuary, there's all.
Speaker 4: These weird like all of a sudden, there's a really
Speaker 4: nice store and we're out by the fucking dumps. Yeah,
Speaker 4: like we're out by like the places where you can
Speaker 4: buy scrap metal.
Speaker 3: But then there's a Sanctuary store and.
Speaker 5: Another castle themed building to lure children. Yes, just like
Speaker 5: in our first episode's.
Speaker 3: Right Electra Sonic. Yes, I do.
Speaker 5: What is what happens at Electro son.
Speaker 3: No, but I bet you have some cheap real estate.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's an interesting area and what what sanctuary?
Speaker 4: Uh, it's well from what I remember, I think it's
Speaker 4: a clothing label, so that was like a It was basically.
Speaker 3: Like a kind of fancy women's clothing store, but out
Speaker 3: by the railroad track. Weird, very odd.
Speaker 5: Maybe they do manufacturing there.
Speaker 4: Perhaps it's a factory outlets, Yes, one of the factory outlets.
Speaker 5: I had vivid dreams and then memories from the dream,
Speaker 5: which is I love when that happens, because usually I
Speaker 5: don't dream, and I figure it's because my brain is
Speaker 5: we don't have I've been reading a lot about Alzheimer's research.
Speaker 5: By the way, they're getting very close. I don't think
Speaker 5: we have to worry about anything.
Speaker 3: That's what my sister's told me.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, I've been sent many articles and it's it's
Speaker 5: good news. We're gonna be fine.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Anyway, I had a dream of very about the
Speaker 5: Spree factory outlet and my sister yes, and my sister
Speaker 5: insisting ongoing yes, and me sort of being excited too
Speaker 5: because I knew it was like cool clothes, and but
Speaker 5: she kind of lied to me and said, well, it's unisex,
Speaker 5: it's girls, it's girls. Yeah, but I did. Did you
Speaker 5: just dig through bins? And it was like a free
Speaker 5: for all, you know, two three five dollar items, no
Speaker 5: four dollar items though. Well.
Speaker 4: And also a big thing about going to the spree
Speaker 4: outlet was everyone in the all the girls in barrier.
Speaker 4: I knew there was a chance if you went to
Speaker 4: the spree outlet and the end you got spotted, you
Speaker 4: might get asked to model in the next year's catalog.
Speaker 4: Really so yeah, because there were girls that we knew
Speaker 4: or that were like from our hometown or whatever that
Speaker 4: that happened to.
Speaker 5: Oh wow.
Speaker 4: Even me, who was pretty much the most average American
Speaker 4: looking girl when I was like twelve, got this idea
Speaker 4: in my head that if I went there, I could
Speaker 4: be a model.
Speaker 5: Yeah, if you doll up and like pick out of
Speaker 5: the bins, not seductively but picture esquees, yes.
Speaker 3: And kind of a be a spree to corway right right, Yeah, that's.
Speaker 4: What it was so insane and my mom the whole time,
Speaker 4: my mom was like, can you just pick something so
Speaker 4: we can go, And I was just like, hold.
Speaker 5: On, there's cameras in here. This is like an audition
Speaker 5: to get seen. Yeah, of course you'd been there, that's
Speaker 5: totally your stomping grounds.
Speaker 4: Well, and also you're just I think are the same age,
Speaker 4: and that is that kind of shit where like only
Speaker 4: people from basically who grew up in the mid eighties. Yeah,
Speaker 4: like a Spree is nineteen eighty six one.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's it was cool though. It was always cool stuff.
Speaker 5: I liked it. I want I'd wear her hand me downs.
Speaker 5: I wore some of Spree stuff.
Speaker 3: It's all good.
Speaker 5: No one called me out. No, those are girls clothes.
Speaker 5: I like, look at my hair. I bleached my bangs
Speaker 5: and cut the rest of my hair, so I just
Speaker 5: have a starfish of bangs.
Speaker 4: And then you had like what like some leggings with
Speaker 4: little stars, maybe blue legs with some stars.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think just a sweatshirt with a Spree logo.
Speaker 5: I didn't get into the lower the leggings and the
Speaker 5: socks and the leg warmers and what have you.
Speaker 3: Didn't do a little mini leg warmers.
Speaker 5: I did the tops. I did all the tops. Well.
Speaker 3: The Spree logo was cool too, because the remember the
Speaker 3: E didn't have them.
Speaker 5: It's just three lines.
Speaker 3: That's nice design.
Speaker 5: It was a good design. It's very eighties.
Speaker 3: And also light pastel rainbow.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, there was a lot of pastels.
Speaker 3: It was all about that pastel and neon.
Speaker 5: I think they right, didn't It was mostly pasteli right,
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Let's go down a detour.
Speaker 5: Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 4: Bound out, stand out, stand out, Dinna.
Speaker 5: I want to get some spree clothes. Why don't they
Speaker 5: bring it back? They should, It would do great well.
Speaker 4: Also, there's lots of like in women's clothing, there are
Speaker 4: there are leggings like these leggings that I have on
Speaker 4: right now. I wore these leggings when I was in
Speaker 4: like freshmen in high school. They were a spree where
Speaker 4: they're just basically well shaped sweatpants that aren't like floppy
Speaker 4: at the bottom.
Speaker 3: They just come down to a cuff like. That's all
Speaker 3: I wore when I was in high school.
Speaker 5: And the only thing they're missing, probably incorrect me if
Speaker 5: I'm wrong, is a little stirrups at the bottom.
Speaker 3: That's right, I had those two.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, they keep your leggings for people realize quickly though,
Speaker 5: that leggings there is no thread of them climbing up. No,
Speaker 5: it's like no need for their stirrup.
Speaker 4: No, not unless you're excuse me, unless you are.
Speaker 3: So tall and thin that the width.
Speaker 4: Of your calves and the width of your thighs are
Speaker 4: the same, and that those pants are just going to
Speaker 4: go straight up. There's no like For me the way
Speaker 4: like stirrup pants weren't good because I had more of a.
Speaker 3: Big thighs, so that that downward.
Speaker 4: Pull it was always it always felt like I was
Speaker 4: being pulled.
Speaker 5: Well, I hopefully everyone's legs are kind of trying like
Speaker 5: taper down to it what you described before, like a
Speaker 5: person with the same with calf and thigh. That's a skin.
Speaker 5: That's a stilt legged. That's the only person I know
Speaker 5: to be like that is Olive Oil the cartoons.
Speaker 3: Right, Well, that was the way you were supposed to
Speaker 3: look in the eighties. That was the look.
Speaker 5: Like like Shelley Duvall.
Speaker 3: My sweatshirt.
Speaker 5: Oh oh, ship, explain to me now speaking of Popeye
Speaker 5: and we are gonna we're diving deep?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 5: Why is there Bluto? And then and then Brutus? What
Speaker 5: what happened? Why is there?
Speaker 3: Brutus is from Shakespearean?
Speaker 5: Played is no remember Papa Buddhist? Pretty good, Papa, what's happening?
Speaker 3: I went down the worst possible get in.
Speaker 5: That's how Papa used.
Speaker 3: To talk, right, just making noises.
Speaker 5: When I live a tig. I would always do that
Speaker 5: voice and the ship with me I didn't. It wasn't
Speaker 5: even very good, but for some reason she liked it.
Speaker 5: And then I was in the alley and my neighbor
Speaker 5: introduced himself, I am your neighbor, and I was like, hi, No,
Speaker 5: I'm like sorry, I'm James. I introduced myself as pop EyeT.
Speaker 5: That's how deep into character I get.
Speaker 3: It's good.
Speaker 5: I won't break out. You can even come and shake
Speaker 5: my hand.
Speaker 4: I would like at some kind of a fact check though,
Speaker 4: on this Blueto Vertus thing, because I don't think Brutus
Speaker 4: was a part of pop life.
Speaker 5: It's just, yeah, I think I know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 5: Maybe not, I think Bluto because I used to confuse
Speaker 5: him for Pluto, which is of course a dog and Goofy.
Speaker 5: You know, I know, Pluto Goofy. There's a confusion there sometimes, right.
Speaker 4: But.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Brutus was there. At some point they had to
Speaker 5: change his name. Maybe it was like I'm gonna sue
Speaker 5: you and they're like, okay, well name him Bluto or
Speaker 5: the other way around. But it was always the guy
Speaker 5: with a big black goatee beard that was jagged like
Speaker 5: a like a poorly open canna spinach. Similar line work.
Speaker 5: Someone who drew me. Someone drew me some feathers as fingers,
Speaker 5: and it was very It was a study.
Speaker 3: It's multi feather fingers.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, anyway, thank you for that.
Speaker 3: Would they mail it to you?
Speaker 5: It was on Twitter. That's any interaction really isn't in
Speaker 5: real life?
Speaker 3: True? Here's our Median genocide again.
Speaker 5: Oh wow, they're really respect What do you do there's
Speaker 5: going to be an event or do you just kinda
Speaker 5: drive around with the flags?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 4: They I one time. They usually have like parade like things.
Speaker 4: Move up, friend, they have kind of parading things.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I wonder why you won't move up. It's part
Speaker 5: of the commemoration in front of you. Oh he's actually
Speaker 5: he's looking down.
Speaker 4: I'm not honking on our Median genocide.
Speaker 3: Oh exactly.
Speaker 5: I was going to dive in front of the wheel
Speaker 5: if you were thinking about it.
Speaker 3: One time, I was.
Speaker 4: On the podcast and I turned a corner and I
Speaker 4: walked into an Armenian genocide like commemorative parade.
Speaker 5: Did you grab your collar and go this?
Speaker 4: I spun the spun on one heel and ran in
Speaker 4: place for a little while. But I mean they do
Speaker 4: have parades, was the point of that an?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I think that maybe we just don't know
Speaker 5: where it is. We aren't invited.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's not about us.
Speaker 5: I'm just a generic old gringo.
Speaker 4: Yeah, your time has passed. No one wants to inform
Speaker 4: you of anything anymore.
Speaker 5: I really am getting old.
Speaker 3: Sorry for the bad news.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know my time has passed. I can't even
Speaker 5: read my pancake box.
Speaker 3: Anymoreos Man.
Speaker 5: Gringo comes from a song with the lyrics green grows
Speaker 5: the grass or something something?
Speaker 3: Is that true? Where'd you get that fact?
Speaker 5: There's also a Greek there's two different things I saw online.
Speaker 5: But then the people that do my lawn because you
Speaker 5: have a pool person, I have a lawn and garden person.
Speaker 5: It's part of the rental company. But they're they're company
Speaker 5: is called green Grows Lawn Services. And I asked the
Speaker 5: guy and he was like, yep, that's where the word
Speaker 5: green grow greeno comes from. Is from green grow some
Speaker 5: song that people sang during the Revolutionary War, some sort
Speaker 5: of Spanish American war. That makes more.
Speaker 4: Sense, And it's the things that white people it's the
Speaker 4: song white people sang.
Speaker 5: Yeah. And then so the Mexican folks were like, well,
Speaker 5: the Gringos are coming from them and their stupid song
Speaker 5: that they sang at nauseum because it's on the Billboard
Speaker 5: charts this year.
Speaker 3: That's funny.
Speaker 5: Yeah, But then I looked up and Gringo actually has
Speaker 5: Greek roots. So it could be a rumor, It.
Speaker 3: Could be lots of different explanations.
Speaker 5: It could be just another story my dad, another yarn
Speaker 5: my dad spun, Like you know, Albert Broccoli from James
Speaker 5: Bond invented broccoli.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's such a dad fake fact.
Speaker 5: But the guy's family did, they were farmers.
Speaker 3: Well, that it's all that matters then.
Speaker 5: And broccoli no, I mean the broccoli really was a
Speaker 5: thing that started in the fifties. Like before that, it
Speaker 5: was just cauliflower and then whatever they spliced it with.
Speaker 5: But broccoli is a new vegetable.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that. Yeah, you're full of facts today, Chris.
Speaker 5: Well, I mean, if I can't be funny because that
Speaker 5: part of my brain isn't working today, let's talk about
Speaker 5: Boli misfiring. I really, you know, I spent a lot
Speaker 5: of my funny juice on the on the tour, and
Speaker 5: then I'm just.
Speaker 3: Like want to be you must be relieved it's over.
Speaker 5: I am relieved.
Speaker 3: And then it went great.
Speaker 5: It went great, especially by the last show. It was
Speaker 5: like the first one was a practice show and it
Speaker 5: was like a smaller venue. Chicago was great because everyone
Speaker 5: was in on it and I loved it awesome, but
Speaker 5: then a blizzard came right but I was I was
Speaker 5: wanted it to go well at the at Madison, a
Speaker 5: comedy club on State. It's my favorite place, and a
Speaker 5: bunch of people came and it was great. We figured
Speaker 5: it out by then love it.
Speaker 4: And then I retired from politics because when you first
Speaker 4: told me you were doing a live show b of
Speaker 4: an impression you've never done before, see politically based. Yes,
Speaker 4: like everything about it, I was like, this is giving
Speaker 4: me the worst stomachache.
Speaker 5: Of all time.
Speaker 3: And it did what more.
Speaker 4: Yes, It's almost like you went straight into the eye
Speaker 4: of the most contentious place that you could go, which
Speaker 4: is American politics. Yes, and then tried went and made
Speaker 4: jokes about it, and then it went good.
Speaker 5: I feel like I realized quickly that the audience didn't
Speaker 5: necessarily they weren't there to fact check everything I was
Speaker 5: going to say, and I just needed to make sure
Speaker 5: I had jokes, so.
Speaker 3: Once they just wanted entertained.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it was really fun, and it was like
Speaker 5: I forgot how much I enjoyed just being asked a
Speaker 5: question and then bullshit answering and that kind of improv
Speaker 5: I is in my wheelhouse and no one was there
Speaker 5: to remind me yep, And then I was doing this
Speaker 5: and I'm like, oh, this is the easy part is
Speaker 5: not knowing what these people are going to ask.
Speaker 3: That's that's fun. That's the fun.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And it's what makes this fun what we do.
Speaker 5: But today I just, you know, I just I feel
Speaker 5: like I've been not as funny as other days. That's okay.
Speaker 4: No, we do different we do different gears, we're different,
Speaker 4: we're complex people.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So you know, last night I was going to bed.
Speaker 4: I just want to I was searching and searching on
Speaker 4: TV and on my recordings and everything. I just wanted
Speaker 4: to watch something pretty looking that was quiet and I
Speaker 4: couldn't fucking find everything had screaming in it or some
Speaker 4: kind of like paced up shit, and I just wanted
Speaker 4: to look at something and like have it relaxed me?
Speaker 5: Like will the outdoor o.
Speaker 3: R?
Speaker 5: That's okay, that's that's what it sounds like when we
Speaker 5: we harmonize. Right before our car wreck, jesaid, I don't
Speaker 5: know how to harmonized.
Speaker 3: Uh, that was so irritating.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what people do all the time in LA.
Speaker 4: I think it's because everyone's stowed all the time. Is
Speaker 4: people come to a full fucking stop. They don't, but
Speaker 4: they don't get out of the way. They just like
Speaker 4: kind of stop driving and adjust to what's going on
Speaker 4: with them and not think about the people behind them.
Speaker 5: Yeah, totally. Also that that pedestrian is being very disrespectful.
Speaker 3: Yes, that was a will.
Speaker 4: That was a goth pedestrian, and they're they're out there
Speaker 4: to show disrespect.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they're just looking down thinking about how they hate
Speaker 5: their dads.
Speaker 3: They're just showing the world you're my dad and I
Speaker 3: hate you everything.
Speaker 5: But I but we we we we Oh, yes, we
Speaker 5: have different we have different gears and tay, we're in
Speaker 5: a different.
Speaker 4: Gear because also sometimes what I love about podcasts is that,
Speaker 4: like when I'm trying to get my ship done the morning,
Speaker 4: like doing dishes and doing right cleaning my house, I
Speaker 4: like to stick in and people like I think we'd
Speaker 4: we undervalue just plain little conversation because we're comics and
Speaker 4: we're so like funny laugh, I want what I want
Speaker 4: to make you do the old weeze laugh, right, that's
Speaker 4: our goal between each other.
Speaker 5: But like it's a laugh contest.
Speaker 3: We don't.
Speaker 4: It's it's a wait till you're done talking so I
Speaker 4: can talk contest, which is how we are as comics.
Speaker 4: But there are some people who are just like I
Speaker 4: like two people talking to each other, right, yeah, you
Speaker 4: know they must because it's fucking all.
Speaker 5: This is totally yeah. Maybe, yeah, maybe I think people
Speaker 5: like the wheezy laughing though, well, yeah, we should start
Speaker 5: faking it.
Speaker 3: Okay, just say whatever.
Speaker 5: Now it hurt when you fake it.
Speaker 3: Don't push it to RD because you can get a HERNIAU.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think it till you at first. I love
Speaker 5: her early work. One chosen a Candace Vergeon. No, I'm
Speaker 5: thinking of Ellen Barkin. I'm thinking of Maria Conta a loto.
Speaker 3: You mean Maria Callis.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm thinking of Marie calendars. And they're different.
Speaker 4: Pies you're thinking of, uh, a chicken pot pie. God
Speaker 4: damn it, why did my brain stop entirely on chicken
Speaker 4: pop pie.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry. We have a little contest.
Speaker 3: I just happened.
Speaker 5: I just won that round.
Speaker 4: You drove me into a wall with that chicken pop
Speaker 4: pie Marie Calendar's reference.
Speaker 5: To think it even came late.
Speaker 3: You should not be right there.
Speaker 5: You say something like chicken pot pipe, or at least
Speaker 5: come out immediately. Not only did that come out late,
Speaker 5: it was a stinker. Oh I went too far.
Speaker 3: No, it's okay.
Speaker 4: I needed to cook it like a chicken popeye for
Speaker 4: twelve minutes.
Speaker 5: Why do I realize that? Can't stop thinking about Jimmy
Speaker 5: Pardo because he has a chicken pot pie joke.
Speaker 3: He does.
Speaker 5: I love chicken pot pie soup with a roof. You
Speaker 5: break it open and there's stuff inside. It's like ice fishing,
Speaker 5: except it's hot, so it's nothing and there's no fish.
Speaker 5: It's nothing like ice fishing. It's the best. It's pot
Speaker 5: pie soup, bit soup with the roof, soup with a roof.
Speaker 5: And he did this thing with his hand. I'm it's
Speaker 5: probably a joke. It's funny that you remember jokes of
Speaker 5: people's that are like fifteen years old. He probably doesn't
Speaker 5: even do it anymore.
Speaker 4: I bet he doesn't, although that's when he can pull
Speaker 4: out if he's doing dinner theater right or at the
Speaker 4: table at home.
Speaker 5: Right, it works for it works for any occasion except
Speaker 5: the table at home probably has heard it last time yet?
Speaker 3: Soup right?
Speaker 5: Or pie?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm sure the family's sick of it. Yeah, I
Speaker 4: bet Daniel Kane doesn't make super or pie because she
Speaker 4: doesn't want to hear that joke anymore.
Speaker 5: If we can end this podcast on anything, it's that,
Speaker 5: you know, Jimmy Partero's whole family is sick of him.
Speaker 3: I will tell my favorite Daniel Kane joke. If you
Speaker 3: want to do other people's bits.
Speaker 5: I haven't. It's been so long since I've seen her
Speaker 5: do stand up out. I know.
Speaker 4: She's so good and so funny. She does a lot
Speaker 4: of writing, Yeah, she's a big writer. But I like
Speaker 4: she used to do a joke. She would say that
Speaker 4: she had both of her parents were actors. Her father
Speaker 4: famously was oh, joke off.
Speaker 5: On start jo, I always forget that. Yeah, it's the
Speaker 5: coolest thing and he's the sweetest ever.
Speaker 4: Yes, So her joke was because her mom was also
Speaker 4: an actress, and it was really irritating because they were
Speaker 4: the kind She was the kind of mom when she'd
Speaker 4: they'd be like, come on, mom, can we have dessert?
Speaker 3: And her mom would go, there's.
Speaker 4: Fresh bananas on the counter, and she did the voice
Speaker 4: of her mom in a theatrical.
Speaker 3: Like they never did it, like she couldn't they couldn't
Speaker 3: have deserved. They weren't like normal people at all.
Speaker 4: Like, so if they want to desert, well, there's fresh
Speaker 4: bananas on the counter.
Speaker 5: That's weird. Someone else, I can't remember if it's a
Speaker 5: friend or a comedian or someone wanting dessert and their
Speaker 5: mom going there's a apples and celery in the crisper.
Speaker 5: It was like someone's that's funny. Yeah, maybe I'm thinking
Speaker 5: of her joke. I don't know, but that's it.
Speaker 3: Then you rewrote it to apples and celery when I
Speaker 3: went to there.
Speaker 5: I went to her parents' house once for something for
Speaker 5: a party, okay, and Walter Knag had a room of toys,
Speaker 5: like not just Star Trek toys. He it was the
Speaker 5: coolest thing ever and he was so proud of it.
Speaker 5: And he showed me all of these old Star track
Speaker 5: to all these sci fi toys from the back in
Speaker 5: the forties some of them, and it was the cool
Speaker 5: and it was like nicely arranged and there was like
Speaker 5: glass cases. It was really cool and it was cute
Speaker 5: how he was like super into showing them off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I really like, I love it very nice.
Speaker 4: I love those people that are like they're legends, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean? And then like in real life
Speaker 4: they're actually cool.
Speaker 3: They're not.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah he had no, he was not like he
Speaker 5: was just excited about it like a fan. Oh of
Speaker 5: like he was a fan, but it's him. Yeah, it
Speaker 5: was really Yeah, he's real cool. So here's the Canan Cardos.
Speaker 4: Oh, now that we're back at my house, I can't
Speaker 4: honk because of my races.
Speaker 5: Oh right, it's okay.
Speaker 3: You know, up another rock.
Speaker 5: I'm doing a mouth worn doesn't come up a lot anymore.
Speaker 5: So I like to end with one.
Speaker 3: Oh great, Yes, what a great opportunity for you.
Speaker 5: You've been listening. Do you need a ride? Do you why?
Speaker 4: In?
Speaker 3: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 2: urmanol and gay. We want to send you off inside.
Speaker 2: We want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 3: We scared her was it.
Speaker 4: Fine, Melbourne.
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need a ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need.
Speaker 5: With Karen and Cress mm hmm