Speaker 1: Hey, sending what's up.
Speaker 2: It's Marie and it's Sydney. Welcome to the Unofficial Expert podcast.
Speaker 1: Bought you by Comedy Hype ma FN Comedy Hype.
Speaker 2: Yes, you can get all your comedy news there, so
Speaker 2: go to www dot Comedy hype dot com.
Speaker 1: Phil you said too many ws anyway, very happy?
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me a lot wwww do it like an
Speaker 2: old person. No one says www. You just say comedy
Speaker 2: hype dot com. Really, Facebook dot com like, I know
Speaker 2: what type? Aw it's https, slash slash no, no, semi colon,
Speaker 2: semi colon.
Speaker 1: I'm done with you. Actually you know what that was.
Speaker 1: And that was a whole podcast.
Speaker 2: So you are listening to this week's episode, Today's the
Speaker 2: Indiffdual Expert of sounding old about Internet retarded. Yes, make
Speaker 2: sure you go to Comedy Hype listen to the podcast.
Speaker 1: There or iTunes. I mean, if you're listening to this
Speaker 1: right now, I'm hoping you're listening to it on iTunes.
Speaker 2: Damn, Marie, I'm just saying, like we need those clicks. True,
Speaker 2: We'll go to comedy do both. Get you a girl
Speaker 2: who could do both? So anyway, we're having a great time.
Speaker 2: The summer is thriving. Where you getting abs so hot?
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I am getting your abs are fucking shutting
Speaker 2: it down. I mean I don't even need to work out.
Speaker 2: All I know is whenever I'm next to you, I
Speaker 2: feel like I have at least two apps. I don't know, dude,
Speaker 2: I feel like you need to work out a little bit,
Speaker 2: because fuck. We'll take pictures and I'll be like, oh,
Speaker 2: I look great, and you're like, I don't like how
Speaker 2: I look, and I'm like, so, I can't.
Speaker 1: Post this because of you and your self esteem issues.
Speaker 1: It's a self esteem issue. It's my wait.
Speaker 2: First of all, that's not true. I'll be like, post
Speaker 2: it because my face is good. But I'll be like, oh, man,
Speaker 2: I wish I would have had like a crop top,
Speaker 2: but like not the I just I wish I would
Speaker 2: have had it like some under. All those times that
Speaker 2: we've been hanging out at the pool and I've been
Speaker 2: showing my butt on Instagram, You'll be like, oh, I
Speaker 2: feel like I look fat, I look like a whale
Speaker 2: here or something, and I'm like, but look at my
Speaker 2: butt and you'll be like, yeah, can't post that.
Speaker 1: And then if I crap, you was gonna look weird
Speaker 1: because people know. That's why I be on you.
Speaker 2: So you can't crop put my hand like right, you
Speaker 2: just put her boob on my arm.
Speaker 1: I put my hand literally all on your hand.
Speaker 2: And I don't even need an arm. Okay, I'll scoop
Speaker 2: it out, weird, I'll cut it. I'll I'm done with
Speaker 2: you around your I'm done, Marie, What the hell are
Speaker 2: you an expert in this week?
Speaker 1: Speaking of being all over my body?
Speaker 2: Uh? This week, I was an expert at accidentally attracting
Speaker 2: a lesbian accidental accidentally. You have your habs all out
Speaker 2: you're talking about you know people want you this and that.
Speaker 1: I mean you throwing your ass back.
Speaker 2: I mean I was not throw my ass back my
Speaker 2: ass state where it was, but my my stomach. I
Speaker 2: think that people don't understand that, Like even if you
Speaker 2: have a flat stomach, you still got to suck it
Speaker 2: in a little bit.
Speaker 1: Like remember I told you the second the other.
Speaker 2: Day and you were like and I was like yo,
Speaker 2: I was like being friends with you, but the picture
Speaker 2: looked better.
Speaker 1: I'm just wearing that hot jeeb. Let me wear job.
Speaker 1: I don't know how jeep.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna get a her job and just fuck it.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna just have a little window to the Yes,
Speaker 2: that's it. My eyes are cute. I'm good, little windshield wiper.
Speaker 2: Shut up, talk about your gainings. So I was, uh,
Speaker 2: we were out and this girl was like, I have
Speaker 2: a question for you.
Speaker 1: Will you go on a date with me? And I
Speaker 1: was like who he's talking to?
Speaker 2: You're talking to me or you're talking to the lesbian
Speaker 2: because I was with Sydney and she was like, I'm
Speaker 2: talking to you.
Speaker 1: She wasn't talking to me. I already shout it out,
Speaker 1: my girl, twelve times.
Speaker 2: I shout it out. I was talking about penis. I
Speaker 2: feel like that don't matter. Lesbians can break that wall down. Yeah,
Speaker 2: break all them walls down. Ah No. But I was like,
Speaker 2: who are you talking to? Like, I was like, that's
Speaker 2: not how Marie said it. She was like that's not
Speaker 2: how I said who There were witnesses, they were legit,
Speaker 2: like sixty people. I was because everybody in the room
Speaker 2: was like oh.
Speaker 1: And I was like who are you talking to?
Speaker 2: And she was like you And then she was like,
Speaker 2: I'll get you an uber home and I was like, ah.
Speaker 1: Wow, from where?
Speaker 2: And she said Brooklyn and I was like, yeah, what
Speaker 2: part of Brooklyn because you're not going to have me
Speaker 2: in East New York or Brownsville. I'm not gay and
Speaker 2: I'm not that hungry, So like, pick like a place
Speaker 2: that I would actually like to be and she was
Speaker 2: like Crown Heights and I was like that's cute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, see me after the show. And then she didn't
Speaker 1: speak to.
Speaker 2: Me after the show because she knew. She knew, she
Speaker 2: knew that was play fucking games. She knows you're an
Speaker 2: entrees and please listen. Also, she knew that I was straight. Like,
Speaker 2: as somebody who's attracted to women, did you ever feel
Speaker 2: like you wanted to turn somebody out like you knew
Speaker 2: they weren't gay or into women, but you were like,
Speaker 2: I can take this down, girl.
Speaker 1: I'm no.
Speaker 2: I never had the confidence to be like, yeah, you
Speaker 2: want this work, Like come on, no, that's not happening,
Speaker 2: Like I don't even I feel like even though I've
Speaker 2: been a lesbian four years now, I still feel like
Speaker 2: I'm like practicing. You still feel like this is like
Speaker 2: a a trial run like college, but you're not in college.
Speaker 2: I don't have a master's And uh yeah, but do
Speaker 2: you have you ever like gotten your friend drunk or
Speaker 2: chick drunk just so you can make out with her,
Speaker 2: because I feel like that seems like something you might
Speaker 2: probably do.
Speaker 1: Oh bitch, are you saying I'm a predator? Fuck? No,
Speaker 1: you see how defensive you are. That means you've done that.
Speaker 2: I mean, I got a couple of limon drop shots
Speaker 2: for a hope before I put sugar.
Speaker 1: On the rim and everything you want to do body shots, Carol.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've never kissed any of my friends, even
Speaker 2: though like my friends are pretty.
Speaker 1: I was like, you're pretty for a friend.
Speaker 2: Like you do have all pretty You're pretty for a friend, Like,
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to kiss any of my friends. Me
Speaker 2: and Sydney accident accidentally touched hands once and.
Speaker 1: Was trying to wait what you were saying. I was like,
Speaker 1: where's this? God?
Speaker 2: Our knuckles brushed against each other and we didn't speak
Speaker 2: for a week.
Speaker 1: People were like, how's you gonna say? I was like,
Speaker 1: who who? I think I think I held your hand once.
Speaker 2: I think I think I was on Molly though, yes
Speaker 2: you I hugged you know, but I think we held
Speaker 2: hands to get like through the crowd.
Speaker 1: Yeah we did. You were like, I'm gonna lose her
Speaker 1: if she doesn't.
Speaker 2: Well, the whole time, you were like, I don't want
Speaker 2: you were fighting the molly because you were like I
Speaker 2: don't want Sydney to touch me.
Speaker 1: That's what it was.
Speaker 2: You wanted me there to protect you from men. But
Speaker 2: you were also like, who's going to protect me from Sydney?
Speaker 1: My God protected me from you.
Speaker 2: Whatever, Marie Sidney, what were you an expert in this week?
Speaker 2: I'm an expert in running my damn mouth way too much.
Speaker 2: I've been getting in a lot of trouble because of
Speaker 2: the podcast, and I'm working on holding back. You're getting
Speaker 2: each other because of what you say on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Are you just gonna say that on the podcast? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm here to say this is a public apology. I
Speaker 2: am sorry. Sorry two thousand, I am sorry.
Speaker 1: Anything that I've said, shut up that offended. Like a
Speaker 1: close friend of if you're a stranger and I don't.
Speaker 2: Know you whatever, but if I if I know you,
Speaker 2: if we broke bread before, if I slept on your couch,
Speaker 2: I apologize. You know, Siddy, I just want to tell
Speaker 2: you it's too Yeah, I'm giving up public apology. I'll
Speaker 2: be talking about people's baby showers and everything, like, you know,
Speaker 2: I had a friend I was talking about baby showers
Speaker 2: and I was like, if you don't. I went to
Speaker 2: a baby shower and somebody was serving Filet mignon there,
Speaker 2: and I said, listen, if you don't have Filet mignon
Speaker 2: at your baby shower, don't even invite me. And then
Speaker 2: my friend was like, that's very rude to say some
Speaker 2: of us can't afford filet.
Speaker 1: Mignon at a baby shower. I was like, but you can.
Speaker 2: Afford a baby, okay, because that's actually more expensive misteak exactly.
Speaker 1: So she was upset about that, and I haven't been
Speaker 1: invited to anything since. So so did she have a
Speaker 1: baby or now, yes, she had the baby. Oh it's fine.
Speaker 2: The shower was wag. I'm gonna watch what I say.
Speaker 2: I need to be nicer to the people that I
Speaker 2: actually know. So what that means is I will absorb
Speaker 2: all the evilness from Sydney. I will. I will you
Speaker 2: notes through the podcast so that you can say everything
Speaker 2: that I want to say.
Speaker 1: Sydney. I will absorb your evilness. Just don't touch me.
Speaker 1: That's it. That's all that I ask from you.
Speaker 2: Don't see ill ill she just put her feet on me,
Speaker 2: and now I'm probably gonna lose my foot.
Speaker 1: Speaking of evil, well, that was a solid se. Speaking
Speaker 1: of evil.
Speaker 2: Speaking of evil doers villains Ja'afar and Scar. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: throw Ursula in there too, because she was bad. Our
Speaker 2: guest today is a comedian. Yes, and we've done. She's
Speaker 2: got a great show comedian, female comedian with tits?
Speaker 1: Female? No is it called female comedian nothing? Which is
Speaker 1: comedians with tits? Because you have guys on the show.
Speaker 3: We do, but we're the hosts are female comedians a.
Speaker 2: Female comedians with so like, both of y'all are not
Speaker 2: flat chess.
Speaker 1: Is that what you're trying to say.
Speaker 3: No, it's it's just like it's redundant and silly. I
Speaker 3: hate the term female a lot.
Speaker 1: Hold, we didn't even introduce you questions, Sidney, Just do it,
Speaker 1: Just do it, Sydney.
Speaker 2: Just Our next guest is a comedian. She has a
Speaker 2: show called Female Comedians with Tits. She is our bitch
Speaker 2: expert beach. Give it up for Janet Head Ganet Hide, Hi, Janet, Hi, Hello,
Speaker 2: thanks for having me high Hide, Janet, I feel like
Speaker 2: you're too nice to be.
Speaker 1: Right well right now true, she's nice, but I've seen
Speaker 1: her in action and I'm like, dang, I'm Janet. He
Speaker 1: was ready to Janet? Can you walk with what? When?
Speaker 1: Did you see her in action? Anytime there's a man
Speaker 1: in the room, she's ready to go off.
Speaker 3: Sydney and I used to be at a lot of
Speaker 3: daytime open mics together, where's a lot of ugliness and
Speaker 3: a lot of dumb men saying dumb shit, and so
Speaker 3: it's my responsibility to shut that down.
Speaker 1: Well, and I can.
Speaker 2: Janet is assertive, she speaks her mind. She's not afraid,
Speaker 2: and I love that about you, but it comes off
Speaker 2: across to people who are penises as a bitch.
Speaker 1: True.
Speaker 3: I hear from a lot of guy comics that I'm
Speaker 3: friends with. If I'm like, they'll say that other guys
Speaker 3: are afraid of me.
Speaker 2: Are these other guys? Are these other guys comedians? Yeah,
Speaker 2: so it don't matter.
Speaker 1: Civilians. I think it's not just comics.
Speaker 3: But it's always been such a strange thing for me
Speaker 3: to hear because I think I'm a nice person, but
Speaker 3: I definitely have a pretty low bullshit tolerance and I'm
Speaker 3: very blunt and I'm very straightforwards.
Speaker 2: Let's let's go through some things that you feel like
Speaker 2: you won't tolerate A man, somebody sitting on your bed
Speaker 2: in their street clothes.
Speaker 1: Will you tolerate that?
Speaker 3: Or no, above the covers, on the very edge of
Speaker 3: the bed, in a transition face, while you're taking your
Speaker 3: shoes off or something.
Speaker 1: Sure, see, I'm not tolerating.
Speaker 2: But that's not I don't even want you to come
Speaker 2: into my room with your street clothes.
Speaker 1: I'm there. Take your clothes off at the door with
Speaker 1: your shoes.
Speaker 2: Well I will, Marie, my gay ass will show this body.
Speaker 1: Girl. I'm all set. Okay, that's not.
Speaker 3: That's not one of my particular rules. Okay, And I
Speaker 3: don't understand that.
Speaker 2: What about like you go on a date with a
Speaker 2: guy and he's like, whoops, forgot my wallet, which I
Speaker 2: have already eaten.
Speaker 1: Tolerate that?
Speaker 3: I would, I mean, there's nothing you can do about it,
Speaker 3: so I would deal with the situation. But I mean, I'm,
Speaker 3: you know, not hey, but I would definitely I would
Speaker 3: call him out.
Speaker 2: Janet I would be like, well, that's crazy because I
Speaker 2: didn't bring minds either.
Speaker 1: I've said that. I that's Janet.
Speaker 3: I would feel too bad for the waitress I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna like true true, or you could be like I
Speaker 3: would like I would pay, I would pay for it
Speaker 3: while completely belittling him, and then never see.
Speaker 1: Me real loud? Would you like real lad? So everybody
Speaker 1: could hear. It would depend on the situation, but maybe
Speaker 1: well let me hear.
Speaker 3: Would you say, Oh, I mean I would just like
Speaker 3: get quiet and mean and be like are you serious
Speaker 3: right now? Like I don't have like a particular script,
Speaker 3: but it just I don't know, I feel like I have.
Speaker 1: One time I was on a date with a guy.
Speaker 3: It was like a fourth date or something, and we
Speaker 3: had already been out a few times, like you know,
Speaker 3: all day fun. It was great, it was a kiss, Yeah,
Speaker 3: we had already kissed, like it felt like it was
Speaker 3: maybe going somewhere, and it was like our fourth date,
Speaker 3: and he was just in a really shitty mood. Like
Speaker 3: he was just like I don't know what his day had,
Speaker 3: like he'd had a hard day, like and he like
Speaker 3: his foot was hurting and like he got like a
Speaker 3: parking take something like just a lot of dumb shit.
Speaker 3: That's like, okay, you're a grown up. You had a
Speaker 3: bad day. I'm sorry I had a bad day. But
Speaker 3: he was like pouting during the whole day. It was
Speaker 3: like pulling teeth to talk to him. And I got
Speaker 3: to a point where it's just like, what is what
Speaker 3: is going on? Like you are acting like a baby,
Speaker 3: You're in a bad mood, You're ruining this, Like I
Speaker 3: don't know, I don't know what to do right now,
Speaker 3: Like you could have canceled, Like yeah, I'm like that
Speaker 3: if you can't, if you weren't like willing to be
Speaker 3: here right now, then you shouldn't have come. Like you're
Speaker 3: being rude right now in a way that I think
Speaker 3: most people would not be comfortable calling out the uncomfortable
Speaker 3: thing that's happening.
Speaker 1: And I was like, fuck this, this is ridiculous. What
Speaker 1: are he saying?
Speaker 3: He sort of apologized and like acknowledged, like you're right,
Speaker 3: I just you know, I didn't want to cancel, but
Speaker 3: and it.
Speaker 2: Was just, no, he didn't want to cancel because he
Speaker 2: was being nice, or he didn't want to cancel because
Speaker 2: he wanted to see you, or he didn't want to
Speaker 2: cancel because he thought it data before I'm gonna get
Speaker 2: some ass to me.
Speaker 1: It was unclear.
Speaker 3: I mean, it was like a very I mean, there's
Speaker 3: there's a whole other whatever.
Speaker 1: Was this a comedian? No, this is not a comedian.
Speaker 2: This is I was like, worried that you got that
Speaker 2: far with a comedian.
Speaker 1: Four dates, four dates? I was like, yeah, we had
Speaker 1: to go on dates.
Speaker 2: Is that they would have hung out? The seller like, yeah,
Speaker 2: this is a date. We got some wings I bought
Speaker 2: will I had a comedian take me to get burgers once. Actually,
Speaker 2: I have a comedian that feeds me pretty regularly. But
Speaker 2: I don't call those dates. We just be hanging out,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well he's taking me out too exactly. And he's
Speaker 1: taking my sister rout. We went to brunch together. I
Speaker 1: need to he just likes to eat meat. More of
Speaker 1: these people. Okay, but who's this comedian who you had
Speaker 1: a burger with? Oh? You know the one who pulled
Speaker 1: this dick out in my house?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: Remember that he got your burger?
Speaker 2: Like, pulled this dick out, like you know how hard
Speaker 2: needs to get money to make up shan pay for
Speaker 2: a burger for you, Janney. Let me let me back,
Speaker 2: let me back up a little bit. Tell you what happened. So, Uh,
Speaker 2: this comic and I had hung out a couple of times.
Speaker 1: But like, I don't date comedians. And he came to
Speaker 1: my house to pick something up. It was real late.
Speaker 1: He was drunk and I was in my bathroom.
Speaker 2: Fixing my hair because two hairs were out of place,
Speaker 2: and I was like sliding you behind my ear or whatever,
Speaker 2: greasing my scalp, and he was on the other side
Speaker 2: of the bathroom door, like, hey, can I come in
Speaker 2: to use the bathroom?
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm like I'm not doing anything an here, I'm coming
Speaker 2: out and he's like, can I please come in? And
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, you can come in, and he's like,
Speaker 2: can I please enter? Like the way he asked was
Speaker 2: like weird, And I was like, I swung the door
Speaker 2: open and he's standing on the other side of the
Speaker 2: door with his dick out but his pants were.
Speaker 3: Still that's horrible. I would not have tolerant. I would
Speaker 3: have yelled at somebody about that.
Speaker 1: What I don't understand. What could the possible outcome be,
Speaker 1: Like that's not a sexy somebody didn't fucked him. That
Speaker 1: means that move has worked before. Ye really it had
Speaker 1: to have, because.
Speaker 3: Men do I feel like I would ask like I
Speaker 3: would the way I will handle that situation. I would
Speaker 3: be like, explained to me your actions, Like how could
Speaker 3: you possibly think that this is gonna be something I'd want?
Speaker 3: But one thing, if he was like all the way naked,
Speaker 3: like still not okay, but at least you're like, what
Speaker 3: was this varsity blue?
Speaker 1: Exactly?
Speaker 3: But like who I just feel like just like hanging
Speaker 3: out of his fly dick's look gross like they are
Speaker 3: They're not attractive to the eye, Like I.
Speaker 1: Heard it was sturdy. Though I heard it was sturdy,
Speaker 1: wasn't terrible to look at.
Speaker 3: I was like, I feel like even the good ones
Speaker 3: are still not great to look at. Like that's not
Speaker 3: what's attracted me to this situation that looks nice.
Speaker 1: I saw.
Speaker 2: It's been a while. She forgets she's glamorizing it in
Speaker 2: her mind. You've seen a pretty in.
Speaker 3: Real life in a sexual situation, like.
Speaker 2: Maybe you were at the gym maybe four years ago, okay,
Speaker 2: all right, exactly you remember in it like fondly, but
Speaker 2: they don't they don't look But I had one guy
Speaker 2: who was a model who had he was thick, and
Speaker 2: it was nice.
Speaker 1: It wasn't bumpy and like.
Speaker 2: The veins didn't look like it could talk. This being said,
Speaker 2: Were you just gonna take a minute? If you think
Speaker 2: you for a pretty dick, please tweet us DM dick pics,
Speaker 2: DM said Janet High, I've.
Speaker 3: Gotten a dick peck. I don't think I think people know. Yeah,
Speaker 3: people either to them.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Wait, you scare guys where they don't even want to
Speaker 2: send you a dick pic.
Speaker 3: They think it's going to shrivel up and fall off
Speaker 3: or something.
Speaker 1: I don't even want to cancel on dates with you, Dannet.
Speaker 1: What are you doing? It's unclear. I don't know. Guys
Speaker 1: don't fuck with you at all.
Speaker 3: I mean, I would have sex sometimes it's the craziest
Speaker 3: thing that a man has ever done to you and
Speaker 3: gotten away with or tried to get away.
Speaker 1: No, let's do like bad behavior. Yeah. Uh have you
Speaker 1: ever like somebody ever cheat or what? You never had
Speaker 1: cheating that I know of? Uh?
Speaker 3: Pretty recently I was starting to see a guy who
Speaker 3: wanted me to peg him.
Speaker 1: Pig.
Speaker 2: Wasn't a comedian, no, it was not.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get to the bottom of the teeth.
Speaker 2: That's what this is New York City. There are thirteen
Speaker 2: million people here just like you. I just want to
Speaker 2: make sure Janet is not making bad decisions.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Janet, hold on, let's back up.
Speaker 2: So peg him means strap on and like penetrate correct?
Speaker 1: What borw was this man from Brooklyn?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Wait, this is a new neighborhood Williamsburg.
Speaker 3: No, so we had only been on a few dates,
Speaker 3: but we hooked up a few times. Yeah, I brought
Speaker 3: it up immediately, Like the first time we up, I
Speaker 3: asked tip, I'd ever done it before? And I was like, wait, yeah,
Speaker 3: take us there, take us there, I'm you and your him.
Speaker 3: Uh this is nice. So have you ever pegged before?
Speaker 3: It's like straight up, like.
Speaker 1: It was like right out. It was like, I'm not smooth.
Speaker 1: It was not catual.
Speaker 2: I think it is that a game game is pig
Speaker 2: and I mean I know what that was.
Speaker 3: I was like, uh, not yet, but like maybe, but
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Not tonight, not tonight. Yeah you are a bitch, not tonight.
Speaker 2: That's not That's a nice way to say no, right,
Speaker 2: And so then the next time we like that was
Speaker 2: our second.
Speaker 1: Date, we went out again.
Speaker 3: The second date the first time, the first time we
Speaker 3: ever like pooled around.
Speaker 1: Then you really wanted you to stroke that prostates.
Speaker 3: And then the next time we hung out again, like
Speaker 3: as soon as we started fooling around, He's like, so
Speaker 3: remember when I brought up. I'm like, yes, I remember
Speaker 3: again not tonight, like maybe, And so then I was
Speaker 3: just like, okay, am I gonna do this?
Speaker 1: It seems like he really wants me to do this.
Speaker 1: J wear you down.
Speaker 3: I was I trying to be open minded. I'm like,
Speaker 3: it's not something I've done.
Speaker 1: It to do you like you don't have a leg
Speaker 1: strength for pay? You gotta have a minute. I'm not
Speaker 1: good more to pay.
Speaker 2: I do not have, Sidney. Would you peg somebody if
Speaker 2: they asked you to peg them? No, Like I would
Speaker 2: peg a white man, Marie. But then obviously wouldn't be
Speaker 2: somebody that I want to be in a relationship with
Speaker 2: because I wouldn't be able to take you. I would like,
Speaker 2: like I strapped one for a white man and be
Speaker 2: like this for my obsess I feel like that's the right.
Speaker 1: Approach, Marie. I don't see it. I mean you will.
Speaker 1: You would never see it, though, dude. We wouldn't be
Speaker 1: taking pictures or.
Speaker 2: Maybe sleeping on the couch though, I'm like, what's going
Speaker 2: on in there. Okay, Jennet, So he's he brings it
Speaker 2: up again, but yeah, brought up twice.
Speaker 1: You thinking I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 3: I'm talking about it with everybody, like kind of hyping
Speaker 3: myself up, like whatever, try I'll try anything one sort
Speaker 3: of thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how did you weigh the pros and cons of this?
Speaker 2: It was, first of all, he gotta buy one, he
Speaker 2: had one. No, no, I'm not pegging you with somebody
Speaker 2: else's strap strap on. I need a new strap one,
Speaker 2: the straps that you used to put it.
Speaker 1: I need a new harness. I need a new harness.
Speaker 1: You're a new belt. Yeah, you need a new Venus belt. Yeah. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you weigh the pros and cause you say you'll try.
Speaker 1: But I was into him, like he's she was into
Speaker 1: it enough that she considered plugging his butt, right, But
Speaker 1: so anyway, I was like, it's a commitment, just letting
Speaker 1: you know, you know, I should know?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you shouldn't you? Why are you acting like surprise bitch?
Speaker 1: Like how but I like how horrified you were the idea?
Speaker 1: But but peggs people do I don't.
Speaker 3: Technically pegging is a woman anally penetrating a man.
Speaker 2: Never I mean, I've put a finger in a man's butt.
Speaker 1: See, I've never done that. That's gross. You are an animal.
Speaker 1: Don't touch nothing to you.
Speaker 2: Once he took a shower, I took a shower, right,
Speaker 2: I mean, that's fine.
Speaker 1: Molly this time. Molly came up today. So wait, Jannet. Okay,
Speaker 1: So besides that, you do so you liked him? I
Speaker 1: liked him.
Speaker 3: I was thinking about it and I was kind of like, whatever,
Speaker 3: can you give us a tiny.
Speaker 1: Bit of background on him? Was he like a doctor?
Speaker 1: A lawyer?
Speaker 2: In my mind, he was like a blue like a
Speaker 2: white collar.
Speaker 1: No, he's like was he a real estate guy that
Speaker 1: goes to open He's.
Speaker 2: Like a creative type, like a creative artist, yeah, or
Speaker 2: a musician Anthony.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna give any more personal too. He was
Speaker 1: I was his name Jake.
Speaker 3: Now, I just want to kind of guess, have you
Speaker 3: guessed the types of names of guys? I won't go
Speaker 3: out anyway, So between like the third date and the
Speaker 3: fourth date, there was like a week and a half
Speaker 3: went by, and I was like, Okay, maybe you know,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna keep an open mind and like maybe you know,
Speaker 3: like googled some stuff.
Speaker 1: Are you doing squats and stuff.
Speaker 2: Were you No, I should have should have?
Speaker 1: Did you google stuff with an incognito window?
Speaker 2: You did?
Speaker 1: I did use the INCA.
Speaker 3: That might have been the first time I ever used
Speaker 3: the incact.
Speaker 1: It's like, doesn't keep your history, it's a secret like
Speaker 1: way to search.
Speaker 2: Marie you, how do you not know about the because
Speaker 2: I'm not afraid. Could she just be on the train googling.
Speaker 2: She's like, sir, how do you spell peg? Is it
Speaker 2: w w w w?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: So we go on the fourth date and I was
Speaker 3: in like not the best I was like, now I
Speaker 3: was in.
Speaker 1: The bad mood.
Speaker 3: Yeah it was fine, but I was like a little
Speaker 3: anxious whatever about the pegging?
Speaker 1: But I'm among others. Yeah, so I was like not
Speaker 1: my about Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well I was like just came straight from work and
Speaker 3: like so I was like not my best date self.
Speaker 3: I mean I was still charming as hell, but I
Speaker 3: was not my most charming Anyway. We go back to
Speaker 3: his place Walla Dicks and uh mean again we start
Speaker 3: falling around and he brings it up. He's like, you
Speaker 3: can say no, and I'm like, I know I can
Speaker 3: say no, but I'm open, Like I didn't seem like whatever,
Speaker 3: like right.
Speaker 2: Also, also, I said no twice already and you've been
Speaker 2: like but remember.
Speaker 1: So she said not tonight. She never said I hadn't
Speaker 1: given a herd no. But so I did it. We
Speaker 1: did that. It did not go well. It was like
Speaker 1: it was super awkward.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I
Speaker 2: know you did, of course, I can tell the way
Speaker 2: you probably planted your feet and you were like no.
Speaker 2: He was like did you did you sit? And he
Speaker 2: sat on top of them. There.
Speaker 1: We tried a few different ways.
Speaker 2: Wow, Janet, I learned something new about people went very well?
Speaker 1: Yo, Okay, I was not. I was like pretty.
Speaker 3: Uncomfortable and like, you know, I'm a confident woman, but.
Speaker 1: Not to peg I thought.
Speaker 3: I went.
Speaker 1: I went in and then I was just.
Speaker 2: Like, girl, you can't go in like it's a brunch, okay,
Speaker 2: you gotta go in like to your professional.
Speaker 1: Exactly, like how do you practice? You have to take
Speaker 1: the day off work. You can't come straight from work
Speaker 1: to oh, how do you practice?
Speaker 2: You go to a basement Jamaican party and you know
Speaker 2: how guys like do that dance behind a woman? That's
Speaker 2: what you should be doing behind a man, right, And
Speaker 2: that's what you learned.
Speaker 1: Didn't go well, like if you guys couldn't get it in,
Speaker 1: or you couldn't get the strokes right, all of the above.
Speaker 1: But he'd done it before, right, But he was not
Speaker 1: like as good of a coach as I was hoping,
Speaker 1: who the fuck is coaching? Because he just wanted to
Speaker 1: be dominated, I guess, and I was not dominating ready
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 2: He should have paid you for that, because that is
Speaker 2: that's not like he needs somebody who knows how to do.
Speaker 1: This, should bring your male roommate or so, yeah, that
Speaker 1: sounds like, actually, so what do you do after pegging goes?
Speaker 1: We went to we like I slept over, No neither
Speaker 1: in the like what did I life looking? He's just
Speaker 1: looking at your cast, like she look how big how
Speaker 1: calves are? But one tier probably went down, like where
Speaker 1: did I go wrong? And then I woke up the
Speaker 1: next morning, went straight to work and then go to
Speaker 1: work after or night. I went to work from the pigs.
Speaker 1: I went to run a carnival at a homeless shelter.
Speaker 1: That was what I did for girl.
Speaker 2: I would have called out of work at a homeless shelter.
Speaker 2: She that's like volunteer work exactly. Just don't show up
Speaker 2: paying you don't even show up be like something came up,
Speaker 2: I mean went down, went down, And then he never
Speaker 2: contacted me.
Speaker 1: I would never, I would change my name. You should
Speaker 1: have messaged him like, hey, what you said?
Speaker 3: This is where I'm I'm a bit and I'm like, no,
Speaker 3: you're not ghosting me after this happened, you like that's
Speaker 3: fucking crazy. So over like over the weekend, I sort
Speaker 3: of like put a like, hey, how's it going, like
Speaker 3: cause he was out of town. I'm like, let me
Speaker 3: know if you want to hang out and you get back,
Speaker 3: and he responded but didn't make any plans. And then
Speaker 3: like a full week went by and I was like
Speaker 3: this is nonsense, and I sent him like a long
Speaker 3: angry text message. I was like listen, like I tried yet,
Speaker 3: like I think you know, I wouldn't have done that
Speaker 3: if I thought I was never going to see you again,
Speaker 3: and like I was uncomfortable, and I was like trying
Speaker 3: to be open.
Speaker 2: I would only do it if I was never going
Speaker 2: to see you again. That's that's a different approach, Marie.
Speaker 2: I cannot You're all PEG matters, so you So I
Speaker 2: was like listen, like, you know, that was messed up, Like,
Speaker 2: don't do that to anybody else.
Speaker 1: It wasn't cool. What do you say?
Speaker 3: He like apologized, but whatever, it was kind of a
Speaker 3: like that was the problem.
Speaker 1: You're not an expert. It's not what you do.
Speaker 2: I am not the expert on pegging. That's not what
Speaker 2: I'm here for. Is that the unofficial expert of pegging? Janet.
Speaker 2: I can see the way you do your hair. You're
Speaker 2: not trying to peg. You gotta slick that ship back.
Speaker 2: You know, you gotta jail the sides. If you're going pig,
Speaker 2: your bangs is in the way. Yeah, you can't, like
Speaker 2: while you're pegging, like your bangs are like in your eye,
Speaker 2: Like it's a work. That's real, bad dude. I feel
Speaker 2: like I love that story so much. That was a
Speaker 2: great story and maybe that should be in your radio
Speaker 2: show bery. I don't think we can say that on SEC. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you deaf can't radio. That's pretty explosive. Yeah, we can't
Speaker 2: say anything loot the city? Oh yeah no as plays
Speaker 2: So Janet, men think you're a bitch. What about it
Speaker 2: at work? Like where does the bitch start end and
Speaker 2: finish or liked and finishes.
Speaker 1: So I'm overwhelmed by this whole story thinking about all
Speaker 1: the people you could have pigged. I know just a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 3: So I work in an office with a lot of
Speaker 3: like young women, and I say women to be generous
Speaker 3: because I like to say women instead of girls. But
Speaker 3: but they're like and they would call themselves girls like
Speaker 3: they're twenty two, twenty three, twenty four, their parents are
Speaker 3: still there and they're you know, a lot of them
Speaker 3: is their first job. Like they don't know nothing nothing,
Speaker 3: They don't know what to do. They don't know like
Speaker 3: how it's appropriate to ask for something or like So
Speaker 3: for me, I'm definitely like if somebody asks me to
Speaker 3: do something helpful, like I'll help do something. But if
Speaker 3: you're asking me to do something that like you really
Speaker 3: should be doing, I will say yes, I will not
Speaker 3: have a nice look on my face, and I will
Speaker 3: show you how to do it, like that sort of
Speaker 3: thing to show somebody how to do yes, you how
Speaker 3: to do it again, and then if they ask me again,
Speaker 3: I'll be like this, you're supposed to do this, like
Speaker 3: I'll help you, but this is yours. And just like
Speaker 3: saying no to things when if somebody's asking me to
Speaker 3: do something that they should be doing, you'd be like
Speaker 3: being firm, like being polite but firm and being like, no,
Speaker 3: I don't have time to.
Speaker 1: Do that, Sydney. How do you say, oh, no, I
Speaker 1: don't have time to do that. That's what I say.
Speaker 1: I work too, That's why I don't bartend no more.
Speaker 1: This guy, I have a vodka soda.
Speaker 2: No, I don't have time to do that. Let me
Speaker 2: show you how to do it. You put the vodka in,
Speaker 2: after you put in the ice, then you throw the
Speaker 2: soda on, Sidney.
Speaker 1: How do you say no?
Speaker 3: At work?
Speaker 1: I feel like you just be like nah, I just don't.
Speaker 2: Look anybody in the eyes, Like I don't give them
Speaker 2: direct eye contact. So like if I'm not looking, then
Speaker 2: they maybe they assumed that I didn't hear and that.
Speaker 1: I'll just act like I didn't hear it. That's a
Speaker 1: real thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, if it's somebody who I work with
Speaker 2: and they asked me to do something, people don't ask
Speaker 2: me to do shit at work because they already know
Speaker 2: my face already looks like a no. So I make
Speaker 2: it so uncomfortable for you to ask me to do
Speaker 2: something Like sometimes somebody can't make it to their table
Speaker 2: and they're like, well, Sidney, can you bring this red
Speaker 2: bull of there?
Speaker 1: And I'm like this one can of red bull? Girl? No,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not like I'm on my phone. Can't you tell?
Speaker 2: Like I'm about to post this fly ass photo, I
Speaker 2: don't have time to drop this red bull off. I mean,
Speaker 2: I used to be really helpful, helpful, and I say
Speaker 2: yes a lot, but I do that outside of work
Speaker 2: a lot. I rarely say no, I'm exhausted. My friends
Speaker 2: people that I know, I'm always willing to help. But
Speaker 2: at work that's where I can put my foot down
Speaker 2: a little bit more. But it is hard as a
Speaker 2: woman to tell somebody no. That's like maybe higher up,
Speaker 2: that's extremely hard.
Speaker 3: And that's where, Yeah, I mean, I feel like in
Speaker 3: a bunch of different jobs, I've had experiences with bosses
Speaker 3: who are like really kind of force full and sometimes
Speaker 3: like ask for things that maybe they shouldn't right.
Speaker 1: I don't mean like inappropriate.
Speaker 3: I just mean they're just like demand nothing like that,
Speaker 3: but they demand a lot or they like ask for
Speaker 3: something and they're like I need it immediately. That kind
Speaker 3: of stuff where it's like no, that's not how it's
Speaker 3: supposed to work, like you need to like give people
Speaker 3: reasonable times and like I try to teach the younger
Speaker 3: girls like how to push back against that, like respectfully
Speaker 3: but being like I will get this to you by
Speaker 3: the end.
Speaker 1: Of the day or whatever it is. You look like
Speaker 1: the type if you came in my bar of like, yo,
Speaker 1: is she going to talk to the manager?
Speaker 2: So, Jenny, do like the type to be like that's
Speaker 2: I need to speak to it very mean, that's very
Speaker 2: meany you too?
Speaker 1: Have you ever asked to speak to a manager? I
Speaker 1: don't think so.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to think it wouldn't ever be.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't ever be.
Speaker 3: Like I like with with servers and weightsaff like I
Speaker 3: am super polite, like I get that their job is
Speaker 3: hard and most people are rude because I think I'm
Speaker 3: I don't think I'm rude.
Speaker 1: Might pop, but I'm not going to be rude to somebody.
Speaker 3: The only time I would ever ask to see a
Speaker 3: manager would almost be to like help out the server
Speaker 3: because it's like, I know this isn't your thing and
Speaker 3: I need to like, oh, and maybe if I were
Speaker 3: doing that because I'm like with my uncle who's being
Speaker 3: a dick, or something like that. So I want to
Speaker 3: handle the situation as like kind of apologize, No, that's fine, okay,
Speaker 3: but I can accept that I might look.
Speaker 1: Like you also look like you might yelp some shiit,
Speaker 1: so like, yeo, you don't yell. You don't be like
Speaker 1: this to the tartar was too tartar. And I found
Speaker 1: a bang hair not picky. When I find a hair,
Speaker 1: I eat around it.
Speaker 2: You are the nasty expert. I might be hairy rice
Speaker 2: and putting things in hairy, but I am shocked. So, Janet,
Speaker 2: do people call you a bitch all the time or
Speaker 2: like is that the word that they use?
Speaker 1: Like how do they address you? I don't get it.
Speaker 1: This is where I don't know because I don't get
Speaker 1: it to my face a.
Speaker 2: Lot because you look like if somebody said it to
Speaker 2: you and you're oh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's sayings.
Speaker 3: I think that this might be an opinion people have
Speaker 3: of me, or I'll hear like kind of here's say
Speaker 3: about it. But I don't think because any people who
Speaker 3: know me well know that I'm not. But it's people
Speaker 3: who only know me a little bit well.
Speaker 2: I think that's the thing, right, Like when when you're
Speaker 2: confident and you don't have time to waste on people's
Speaker 2: dumb questions or like you know how sometimes guys will
Speaker 2: try to flirt with you and they'll try to like
Speaker 2: they'll be like like I was just at the store
Speaker 2: and the guy was like, miss, can you show me
Speaker 2: which one is the parsley? And I was like, I
Speaker 2: don't know what you're saying, sir, No, I don't have time,
Speaker 2: and he's like, I just want to know which. I'll like,
Speaker 2: you came to pick something up and don't know what
Speaker 2: you picking up, sir. Right, But like somebody like that'll see.
Speaker 1: Me and be like, oh, yeah, she's not right which is?
Speaker 3: And see, to me, the thing is that person's being rude.
Speaker 3: That's my whole thing of like a lot of times
Speaker 3: one personal start being rude and then the response is
Speaker 3: for most women like, oh, I've got to play it nice.
Speaker 3: I gotta like ease this situation and I want to escalate.
Speaker 1: It can escalate.
Speaker 3: So we're trained so much be like, don't you don't
Speaker 3: want to piss anybody off because they could hurt you.
Speaker 1: And that's real.
Speaker 2: I feel like you should look at me as the
Speaker 2: queen that I am and know that if you say something.
Speaker 2: I will say something back, and it's gonna be something
Speaker 2: that's gonna make you feel real little escalate a situation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes I will, but like not.
Speaker 2: Not so much anymore because I feel like somebody might
Speaker 2: cut me with a knife on the train.
Speaker 1: It's possible that. I mean, it's scary to realize, like
Speaker 1: so much of this.
Speaker 3: That why women feel like they can't be assertive or
Speaker 3: they can't so because they're scared.
Speaker 1: There's a girl who just got killed for saying no.
Speaker 1: The guy was trying to talk to her in the street.
Speaker 1: She was that happens like every couple of years. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's real thing. It's scary, but we.
Speaker 3: Should be allowed to say no and like legitimate no
Speaker 3: and not have that even be question considered rude. It's
Speaker 3: like like I was on the train yesterday, you know,
Speaker 3: headphones in, like zoned out, and there was it was
Speaker 3: like a crowded train, and there was a guy next
Speaker 3: to me that like I kept like, you know, we
Speaker 3: were like bumping into each other a little bit, and
Speaker 3: I could tell he was like looking at me a lot,
Speaker 3: and I was just like not paying attention. And I
Speaker 3: got off the train and he I don't know, if
Speaker 3: he was gonna get off anywhere or not. He like
Speaker 3: followed me off the train and was walking next to
Speaker 3: me and started talking to me, and like I took out.
Speaker 1: The headphones and like looked kind of like what do
Speaker 1: you want?
Speaker 3: And like, because I'll get people directions, I don't mind,
Speaker 3: Like I'm happy to do that. But he was just
Speaker 3: like trying to ask me out, and I was like
Speaker 3: and like we were then on the streets, like where
Speaker 3: do you live? And I'm like near here by, like
Speaker 3: walked away, yeah, And then I had to like look
Speaker 3: behind my back to make sure he wasn't following me
Speaker 3: to my apartment. Like that's like when he was being
Speaker 3: inappropriate and rude.
Speaker 1: Man looked like he's just like a well fat white guy.
Speaker 1: Did he have a flip flop?
Speaker 2: Because I felt like I would do that, But if
Speaker 2: he had, you could take him because he can't really run.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I was not afraid of this person. Like
Speaker 1: black man would also do that. He wouldn't have flip
Speaker 1: flops on it. If you would not he had on
Speaker 1: a boot, if he.
Speaker 2: Had a Timberlan boo, he wouldn't be able to run
Speaker 2: after you anyway, So you'd be fine. Shoes wouldn't be lacey,
Speaker 2: he would trip over them. He would senderella right out
Speaker 2: them shoot people.
Speaker 1: Oh no, but yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2: We shouldn't be afraid to just be honest. But have
Speaker 2: you ever been in a situation where like you made
Speaker 2: a scene just becuz because you can't seem like the type,
Speaker 2: they don't make a scene.
Speaker 1: I've made scenes, get into a jam, But.
Speaker 2: Talk about like the most dramatic scene, because that's the
Speaker 2: first thing I go to when I see like a
Speaker 2: woman like screaming, going like going off.
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, bitch, like, calm down, is it that serious?
Speaker 2: If I don't, if I didn't get the backstory, I'm like,
Speaker 2: what's up? Well, everything looks crazy out of context, right Yeah.
Speaker 2: My thing when I am getting ready to make a
Speaker 2: scene is do I want to be the angry black
Speaker 2: woman today?
Speaker 1: And usually I don't, so I'll just like, I'll I'll
Speaker 1: curse you out real quiet, right, See, I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't have to deal with that. I mean the going
Speaker 1: to the manager, like the white woman version of that.
Speaker 2: I guess not even because I feel like going to
Speaker 2: the manager is not even No, it's not nearly as
Speaker 2: bad as a stereotype.
Speaker 3: But so I feel like sometimes I don't know that
Speaker 3: I've made a scene on my own behalf, but I
Speaker 3: feel like if I, like whatever the bystander stuff, if
Speaker 3: I saw somebody else, like I'm not afraid to start
Speaker 3: yelling in public and like publicly shaming someone if they're
Speaker 3: doing something wrong, like I would feel like I'm comfortable
Speaker 3: as a white woman being like.
Speaker 1: Sure, I see your penis out on the train, Like,
Speaker 1: and I get everybody on the car. There's a black lady.
Speaker 2: There's a video of some woman that's yelling at this
Speaker 2: guy because she she's going off.
Speaker 1: She said he was jerking off on the train and she's.
Speaker 2: Like, you're doing that freaky shit and she was like,
Speaker 2: next stop, I don't even care for she'll stop and
Speaker 2: not you're getting off the train. And he was like
Speaker 2: like everybody just looked, and somebody got the video and
Speaker 2: she's just yelling at him. I guess it was an
Speaker 2: express train because they were on train for work. Oh god,
Speaker 2: a long time without his stopping. And then he got
Speaker 2: off at the next step and she's.
Speaker 1: Like he's touching himself.
Speaker 3: This kid's he and I thing like, how many people
Speaker 3: saw that at least twenty other people saw that, but
Speaker 3: nobody wants to say anything because nobody wants to be afraid.
Speaker 1: That he's gonna whip his dick out and throw it
Speaker 1: on my face.
Speaker 2: Yes, why that's if he's jerking off in public, he's
Speaker 2: probably going to hit.
Speaker 1: Me with his dick many steps back.
Speaker 2: I'm all set. I will quietly watch him jerk off
Speaker 2: and be like whoo, no, sidnel pull her phone in
Speaker 2: and be like, look at this, because no, you know,
Speaker 2: my phone will be dead. My phone stay dead. So
Speaker 2: I'll be tapping in person it's a seven eight, and
Speaker 2: then wait till I get wi fi by that. That
Speaker 2: is so crazy, ik I've.
Speaker 1: Ever seen it. I've never seen anybody jerking off on
Speaker 1: the train, but.
Speaker 2: I definitely like have yelled at people in public and
Speaker 2: then thought about it like was I going off or
Speaker 2: was I protecting myself?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I've yelled at We're allowed to do
Speaker 1: both of those things.
Speaker 2: You're allowed to like lose it once in a while
Speaker 2: just because he had a hard day or whatever.
Speaker 1: We've had enough.
Speaker 2: And then we're also to protect ourselves always, always, and
Speaker 2: sometimes we just be in dramatic and we deserve to
Speaker 2: be fired.
Speaker 1: You know, are you serious? I never deserve to get fired.
Speaker 2: I don't care if I throw up while I'm on
Speaker 2: the job and fall asleep in a stall. That happened
Speaker 2: to you when sixteen three years ago. But they said,
Speaker 2: didn't fire me you because of that. They said that
Speaker 2: happens to everybody. Everybody blacks out and pass out in
Speaker 2: the middle of their shift. It's because you were coming
Speaker 2: late all the time, and it acted like.
Speaker 1: You didn't want to got you. I just was on time.
Speaker 1: I could have just threw up and passed out.
Speaker 2: Every job I've ever gotten fired from, which is every
Speaker 2: job I've ever had, I deserve to be fired from.
Speaker 1: So anyway, Janet, Yeah, Janet.
Speaker 2: Now, we used to go to open mics together and
Speaker 2: you would tell these dudes what it is like. They
Speaker 2: would say a comment and you would be in the
Speaker 2: back and you would hit them with some like feminist, lyricist, lounge,
Speaker 2: deaf comedy, death comedy, death comedy, jams.
Speaker 1: And May Angelou.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you would say stuff in the back and I'm like, Wow,
Speaker 2: she's really heckling at this mic.
Speaker 3: I have no problems with heckling at open mics. I
Speaker 3: don't understand why that doesn't happen more often, I feel.
Speaker 2: But we would just laugh at them when the stuff
Speaker 2: wasn't hitting me and Sydney would laugh at people at
Speaker 2: mics and like shout things out, and somebody called us
Speaker 2: the two old guys from the Muppets. Yeah that's and
Speaker 2: I was like a beautiful compliment, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: But then after the mike, Janna would pull the dude
Speaker 2: aside and be like, well, this is why that didn't work.
Speaker 1: Sometimes, not always, I will help you with your bit.
Speaker 1: So there's two categories.
Speaker 3: There's guys that are like never gonna be funny, that
Speaker 3: aren't good, that don't have jokes, that just say crazy shit,
Speaker 3: Y's horrible, yes, And with those I sort of pick
Speaker 3: and choose, like I'm not going to change their mind,
Speaker 3: but sometimes I have to say something or else it's
Speaker 3: gonna make me go crazy. So if I go up
Speaker 3: after one of those guys, I'll like spend a minute
Speaker 3: tearing them down, like, yeah, I'd like to.
Speaker 1: Fact check people.
Speaker 3: So that's something I have a tendency to do, Like
Speaker 3: if they say something that's just straight up wrong, I'll
Speaker 3: correct them. And sometimes i'd yell that from the back
Speaker 3: because it just pisses me off, Like, don't be wrong,
Speaker 3: like be funny, like make a joke, don't say so.
Speaker 2: I think that's the biggest thing about comedy that I
Speaker 2: have a problem with, right, because when I think of comedy,
Speaker 2: I think of entertainment. I go to comedy shows. I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't really go to comedy shows, but like as
Speaker 2: a performer, I feel like people come to comedy shows
Speaker 2: to be entertained. Right, don't be up here yelling about
Speaker 2: your ex girlfriend and how she cheating on you when
Speaker 2: she's a hoe. Now, if it's not funny, you're just
Speaker 2: it's a sad yeah, said sad play.
Speaker 3: I think there's this attitude with a lot of especially
Speaker 3: new comics and guys, that like the most shocking thing
Speaker 3: is the funniest thing. So they'll just like throw in
Speaker 3: the word rape or abortion or whatever like talk about yeah,
Speaker 3: or like talk about hating people, like to just get
Speaker 3: to like shock people. It's like, yeah, that's not funny
Speaker 3: unless there's a joke, unless there's a punchline.
Speaker 1: You're just saying, well, that's the shitty thing.
Speaker 2: They see Luis k or Chris Ruck or these people Bilburr,
Speaker 2: and they're like Oh, they say shocking things all the time.
Speaker 2: They got jokes though, but also they've been doing comedy
Speaker 2: for twenty something years, right, Like they know how to
Speaker 2: structure something so that it's not offensive.
Speaker 3: Right, and so those like there are some that are whatever,
Speaker 3: they're never gonna be good. But then if there are
Speaker 3: guys that I'm friendly with that they have a joke,
Speaker 3: they have an idea, but sometimes they'll still lean on
Speaker 3: that stuff or they'll say something that's like kind of
Speaker 3: ignorant for them. I'm like, I want you to be good.
Speaker 3: I like this could be a good joke. You're saying
Speaker 3: this dumb thing that like makes me hate you right now,
Speaker 3: and it's gonna make other women.
Speaker 1: Hate you if they hear you say I know you're
Speaker 1: a good dude, and you don't mean it like that.
Speaker 1: So see, I feel like that. I mean, you sound nice.
Speaker 1: You don't sound like I am very nice person. You
Speaker 1: are nice.
Speaker 3: So I actually I am starting a new podcast, okay
Speaker 3: called Dude Talks to a Lady, Which.
Speaker 1: This is like the whole point.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to hear I interview mail comics about
Speaker 3: their jokes about women.
Speaker 1: Can I like tell you some people that you should interview.
Speaker 3: For suggestions, because I wanted to be like the full
Speaker 3: range of guys that are like tell jokes about women
Speaker 3: that are funny and good and like, you know, maybe
Speaker 3: would be controversial, but like I still laugh at and
Speaker 3: think it's funny. And then also like dudes they're like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm sexist, and here it is that are also like,
Speaker 3: you know, I don't want I'm not gonna be inviting
Speaker 3: the guys from open mics that like can't string a
Speaker 3: joke together that just says just.
Speaker 1: Hurt they feeling. But I wanted to definitely get those
Speaker 1: the ones who listened to our podcast Girls Open My Guys,
Speaker 1: we love you. No, that's not what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 1: Good love getting some spots.
Speaker 2: Marisa is gonna be waiting outside of the show for us.
Speaker 2: They won't be at the show inside perform see Janet,
Speaker 2: that's a bitch.
Speaker 1: Goes on.
Speaker 3: I feel less qualified at doctor to Marie. I feel
Speaker 3: like she's got it unlockedown.
Speaker 2: I learned a lot from you, I do. I really
Speaker 2: do feel like that. Now, do you have any advice
Speaker 2: for women who are like afraid of not seeming nice
Speaker 2: or lay like any situation?
Speaker 3: I think that you can be firm and polite, and
Speaker 3: that is like as long as you are polite and
Speaker 3: respectful to other people, Like you don't have to be
Speaker 3: sweet and nice, so like firm, figure out, yeah, like
Speaker 3: figure out, and you can say those things with a
Speaker 3: big old smile. Like I used to live in Texas
Speaker 3: where some of the meanest bitches, like we'll say that
Speaker 3: that's sure, yes, but like you know, the whole like
Speaker 3: lessure heart, Like say the meanest fucking thing with a
Speaker 3: big sugary smile on your face. Is like that works,
Speaker 3: Like that's a So I feel like I kind of
Speaker 3: have that approach sometimes, so you can say no to
Speaker 3: something and still be nice about it.
Speaker 1: And like I feel like sometimes people say no and
Speaker 1: nice it sounds condescending, so like oh't know, what's the
Speaker 1: whole damn No, I can't do it right. You don't
Speaker 1: have to be I mean, you don't have to be
Speaker 1: sweet about it.
Speaker 3: But I feel like for some people that I like
Speaker 3: can't say no to anyone, and I mean mostly like
Speaker 3: even with friends and something. You know, if somebody asking
Speaker 3: me for a neighbor that's not appropriate to you know, like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: you come pick me up from the airport and it's
Speaker 3: like a two hour drive for you when they could
Speaker 3: take a fifteen dollars cab.
Speaker 1: Like no, you should say no, like that kind of thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: some people just don't know how to do that.
Speaker 3: And so to me, it's like trying to figure out,
Speaker 3: like what do you actually want and like be okay
Speaker 3: with admitting it.
Speaker 1: Whether it's okay knowing what you want, that's what damn, Janet, Janet.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna list a couple of things and then you
Speaker 2: tell me if you would say yes or no to
Speaker 2: these things.
Speaker 1: Is it's a quiz?
Speaker 3: So these are like favors, hypothetical favors. These are favor Okay, okay,
Speaker 3: I need to borrow five hundred dollars. You don't need no,
Speaker 3: whow no, Wow.
Speaker 1: Unbelievable, Janet.
Speaker 2: I'm having a destination wedding in uh Santrope or whatever.
Speaker 2: I'm not covering the hotel and you have to come,
Speaker 2: and you're in my wedding as well.
Speaker 3: If it's somewhere I wanted to go and I loved
Speaker 3: you and I'm free at that time, then yeah I
Speaker 3: would go. But if I didn't have the vacation or
Speaker 3: I couldn't afford it, I would say.
Speaker 1: No, but this is your like good friend, you can't
Speaker 1: make it happen.
Speaker 3: My personal financial situation situation right now, I probably could,
Speaker 3: but if I couldn't, I would say.
Speaker 1: It's getting court and it's going in Sancho Pei. But
Speaker 1: I wouldn't, Like I would.
Speaker 3: There have been destination type things that I would definitely
Speaker 3: say no to. If it was like truly my closest
Speaker 3: friend and I was in the wedding, I would make
Speaker 3: it work. But if I was like invited and not
Speaker 3: in the wedding and didn't want to go, nah, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I feel.
Speaker 1: Like Cinny be saying yes to all the destination weddings
Speaker 1: I used to.
Speaker 2: When I have money, I don't do it no more.
Speaker 2: I mean they don't get let me just I don't
Speaker 2: get invited to many destination weddings. Let's tell it, it's
Speaker 2: not that.
Speaker 1: Could just be your friends. They need to step day
Speaker 1: money up? You No, are your friends are just considerate?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't go that.
Speaker 3: I did have to go on a destination bachelorette party
Speaker 3: once some Mexico and I did not have the money
Speaker 3: at that time, but I did go.
Speaker 1: And everybody goes, why are they going to a basic
Speaker 1: ass place. Mexico is the new Vegas, you know. Oh,
Speaker 1: I have a question. Hey, Janet, I need to go out.
Speaker 1: Can you watch my baby if I'm free? I like babies.
Speaker 3: So if I was free and you don't have a
Speaker 3: shitty kid, Okay, sure, Janet.
Speaker 2: I'm a hoe obviously and have unprotected unprotected sex. And uh,
Speaker 2: I need to get a Plan B, but I am
Speaker 2: too ashamed to.
Speaker 1: Go back to the right aid to get it. Can
Speaker 1: you go pick up a Plan B for me? Here's
Speaker 1: the money one time. I would do that for somebody
Speaker 1: one time. Wow, Well would you be pick up a
Speaker 1: Plan B for me? Even if even if you're like,
Speaker 1: the store is right next to your house, I.
Speaker 3: Mean, if I like, if, I mean, there's so many
Speaker 3: variable if I live in the neighborhood.
Speaker 1: If like we're neighbors, sure I would I would do
Speaker 1: that one time. Or I would be like, but she
Speaker 1: wasn't ashamed when you was second at a gig, get
Speaker 1: you some Plan B. But I just wasn't sucking dick,
Speaker 1: and I think I might be pregnant. Well you starting
Speaker 1: it off? You you're starting it off? You ended? Okay? Son?
Speaker 2: You sure?
Speaker 1: Uh, here's another one for your tenant. Jenet, Uh, Jenet,
Speaker 1: will you strap up and peck me? Please?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, I will not. I can't. If you did that, dude,
Speaker 1: you are rocks terror. Okay, Janet, something more? Uh, you've
Speaker 1: been daanning a dude his his dad dies.
Speaker 2: He doesn't have money to go to the funeral. He
Speaker 2: needs to borrow like three hundred dosts to go to
Speaker 2: the funeral. Would you give the money?
Speaker 1: How is this like something that happened? How long have
Speaker 1: we been together? Six months? Six months? I would am
Speaker 1: I invited? Do you want to?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: Now? I feel like if well, that's the thing, if
Speaker 3: we're close enough that I'm going with sure, maybe I'd
Speaker 3: like we're getting you.
Speaker 1: For your ticket and his ticket ticket to the funeral.
Speaker 1: Just like this is a dad you ain't never met
Speaker 1: either again. To me, it's like the answer for like
Speaker 1: there's no blanket, yes or no. It's like he's gone
Speaker 1: face the body. Yeah, you'll my hope. You guys are
Speaker 1: one more thing, one more thing, Janet. Obviously you're with
Speaker 1: this guy. You like him, he likes you.
Speaker 2: You don't want to have sex tonight, but y'all were
Speaker 2: already starting it up. You know, but then you were like,
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm not me tonight.
Speaker 3: I have gotten much better at shutting that ship down
Speaker 3: for that. Yeah, I don't want to have sex right now,
Speaker 3: that's my line. I'm just like, very straightforward. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I want to go to bed.
Speaker 2: He's like, it's already out the button flat, his dick
Speaker 2: is already on your back.
Speaker 1: I'll like be like, you can jerk off on me
Speaker 1: or something. I don't do that.
Speaker 2: No, you can't jerk off the go in the bathroom
Speaker 2: and handle yours because I don't even want to be
Speaker 2: nowhere near.
Speaker 1: I just changed these sheet have some respect. There is
Speaker 1: a cat in this room. Go out on a ledge
Speaker 1: and jerk up on the ledge.
Speaker 2: Go on to terrorists. We got money, now, just jugle
Speaker 2: off on the terrace. Okay, here's my last one for you.
Speaker 2: And we keep saying least one, but so many money.
Speaker 2: I keep hilarious.
Speaker 1: I keep thinking of more. I can't stop laughing.
Speaker 2: You're you're with a guy. Let's see you guys are
Speaker 2: together for year and a half. Okay, okay, things were good.
Speaker 2: It's pretty serious. You've met his parents, he's met your parents,
Speaker 2: and he's like for my birthday this year, I.
Speaker 1: Want to have a threesome. Yes or no?
Speaker 3: That's I don't know. That's hard because like it's for
Speaker 3: me again, it's not a blanket. I would say yes,
Speaker 3: but if it was less serious. I think if I
Speaker 3: was like, I want to marry somebody, I feel like
Speaker 3: I'd be too jealous. But I'm not opposed the idea entirely,
Speaker 3: but I think it would have to be more of like, oh,
Speaker 3: we're just like hanging out.
Speaker 2: Somebody seriously asked me, like, with both the eyes open,
Speaker 2: can we have a threesome and we serious?
Speaker 1: We breaking up?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: No? You know why I feel like married couples do it?
Speaker 2: Okay, we've probably been together for a minute and I'm
Speaker 2: tired of looking at you. Sure, but if I'm still
Speaker 2: in love with you and I have fun with you
Speaker 2: one on one, why would I want another bitch in
Speaker 2: the in the mix?
Speaker 1: But what if you want it to be a dude?
Speaker 1: Why would I want somebody on How many dudes do
Speaker 1: you need to have a train? I think at least
Speaker 1: three two three. I feel like more than one dig
Speaker 1: is a train. I don't know. I think you need
Speaker 1: three cars for it to be a train, what if
Speaker 1: it was a trolley? Janet, I feel like you answered
Speaker 1: all the hypothetical questions that I had. Jennet, you're definitely
Speaker 1: not a bitch. You're not a bitch. Sorry, I came
Speaker 1: here under false pret You're just a white woman. That's it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all who knows her worth exactly? That's beautiful. I
Speaker 4: mean sometimes sometimes sometimes overvaluating yourselves.
Speaker 1: Janet. Please plug all your things right now.
Speaker 3: You can't catch all my selfies on Instagram and Janet
Speaker 3: underscore hide and.
Speaker 1: You be killing it too, thank you. And you don't
Speaker 1: play no games with the bank like a winged liner
Speaker 1: or cat. I yeap. And you in the sun and
Speaker 1: it's glistening and there's some trees in the.
Speaker 3: Background coming from you too. It's that's you're doing much
Speaker 3: better job than I am, So.
Speaker 1: I take I take it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate if Marie like anything in it. Wow,
Speaker 1: I mean how hard it is to get this like something?
Speaker 2: If I accidentally like something, I will take my leg
Speaker 2: back that I've done that I don't that's a city.
Speaker 1: You don't take no legs back. No, Wow, I believe
Speaker 1: that you're too sweet. They need it.
Speaker 2: She got a whole ass out twelve legs. She needed
Speaker 2: Janet Underscore hide h y d E. And when does
Speaker 2: the podcast?
Speaker 3: The podcast is going to be coming out end of
Speaker 3: the summer, okay, and it's called Dude.
Speaker 1: Talks to a Lady. And then what about your monthly
Speaker 1: My monthly show?
Speaker 3: I run it with Mary Salad, she's great and tiptop
Speaker 3: bar and grill and bedsty on Franklin. It's the first Thursday.
Speaker 1: Of the month, and they got great chicken wings. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's free food food. Yeah, I've never gotten any. It's
Speaker 1: off to the side. You gotta look for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there's somebody's mother guarding the food like
Speaker 2: it's fucking Thanksgiving. Yeah, but it's great, like look at
Speaker 2: hot dogs and cheese cubes and cheese.
Speaker 1: I love it's yes, old egg Yeah, it's delicious. I
Speaker 1: love on her fall. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So first Thursday is at eight thirty, Okay, So if you.
Speaker 2: Can leave us with anything before we go about your
Speaker 2: expertise or what pleasant saying, no pegging dudes anything today.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna regret having this be my like label. I
Speaker 3: don't want to be the pegging expert.
Speaker 1: Just don't. Most of the comments we don't even listen
Speaker 1: to this. It's not that we don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the ones that I get in trouble with, Yes,
Speaker 2: it's all people that are not comedians.
Speaker 3: I would say, just don't be afraid, Like, so what
Speaker 3: if somebody thinks you're a bitch, Like, that's not gonna
Speaker 3: hurt you.
Speaker 1: I mean, it doesn't hurt me.
Speaker 2: Didn't.
Speaker 1: Atlanta Morriset said it best. I'm a bitch. No, that
Speaker 1: was not Alanis Morrissett. That was a rip off.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I got I just got the most embarrassing white girl.
Speaker 3: Yeah that was that was that was Yeah, that wasn't
Speaker 3: Alanis Morrissett. That was like a knockoff of Morrissett. She
Speaker 3: was I forget where her name was, Meredith something. Alanis
Speaker 3: Morrisett is you want to know?
Speaker 2: Like we have to. That's a good one, all right,
Speaker 2: And you could catch us on Instagram Unofficial Expert. Please
Speaker 2: like and make comments. I love all the little comments
Speaker 2: y'all leave for us. Oh we're so beautiful and funny
Speaker 2: and great and my best friend.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: But write some more stuff in it, especially on iTunes
Speaker 2: that were amazing review US reviewers.
Speaker 1: Reviewers give us five stars, like it's uber and leave
Speaker 1: more comments. Yeah, we're here for that. Uh, it's unofficial
Speaker 1: expert on what I'm saying. iTunes, No, that's not what
Speaker 1: it is. Instagram, Instagram on Instagram. We need to do
Speaker 1: a Twitter too, we do, but I don't really tweet
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah Twitter, you know, typing is tim When we get
Speaker 2: an intern, I want www dot twitter dot shut up, bitch.
Speaker 2: And we mentioned my radio show today. It's every Thursday
Speaker 2: from seven to eight pm on ninety nine point five
Speaker 2: FM or w b AI dot org.
Speaker 1: Yes, ma'am, okay, thank you. I feel like we're doing yes.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Jenny, thank you.
Speaker 2: Bye bye