1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,280
Speaker 1: Would I be the a hole for calling off the

2
00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:05,880
Speaker 1: wedding because my future mother in law called me stupid?

3
00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:09,600
Speaker 2: Uh, she's stupid, stupid, the whole wedding stupid. Call it off.

4
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:13,360
Speaker 1: The wedding's over, call it off. Ooh muran, he says.

5
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:20,119
Speaker 1: I twenty three female, am engaged to John No, not me,

6
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,400
Speaker 1: twenty four male. We happened together for five years. We

7
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,600
Speaker 1: want to get married in July twenty twenty five. I

8
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,360
Speaker 1: always thought that his family liked me because we got

9
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,440
Speaker 1: along so well. He has two older brothers, twenty six

10
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,319
Speaker 1: male and twenty nine male, both married. Honestly, I'm very

11
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,279
Speaker 1: excited to have them all as my in laws. They

12
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:44,280
Speaker 1: were always kind to me some kind of important information.

13
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,520
Speaker 1: About a year ago, when I was scrolling on Instagram,

14
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,760
Speaker 1: I saw a profile that was kind of cringey, but

15
00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,519
Speaker 1: in a cute way. It was an older woman's profile

16
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,480
Speaker 1: who shared inspirational quotes. I remember one particular post, and

17
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,560
Speaker 1: it was something in the lines of only stupid people

18
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:06,080
Speaker 1: pretend to know everything. Don't pretend, just ask. Honestly, this

19
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,440
Speaker 1: quote changed me in a lot of ways. Before that,

20
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,080
Speaker 1: I was always worried that I might embarrass myself if

21
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,039
Speaker 1: I don't know something. And after reading that quote, I

22
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,600
Speaker 1: realized that if I always pretend that I know everything,

23
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,759
Speaker 1: then I'll miss out on actually getting to learn about things.

24
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,920
Speaker 1: So I decided to change my habits and start admitting

25
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,679
Speaker 1: that sometimes I genuinely don't know. Someone is talking about

26
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,240
Speaker 1: the war in Kosovo. Kosovo, Okay, sure, but first let

27
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,240
Speaker 1: me ask some questions so I can really understand what

28
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,520
Speaker 1: we're talking about. And I ask a lot of questions

29
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,880
Speaker 1: sometimes nice, okay sounds she sounds great?

30
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,440
Speaker 2: This is a great philosophy of life.

31
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you have questions, ask them.

32
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:46,399
Speaker 2: I'm hacking with it.

33
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,360
Speaker 1: I sometimes even open the notes app and write in

34
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,680
Speaker 1: some questions that I later want to find answers to.

35
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,720
Speaker 1: These are my latest one. How does the time work

36
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,920
Speaker 1: in the black hole? Two? Why do some snails have

37
00:01:59,000 --> 00:01:59,920
Speaker 1: shells and others don't?

38
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:00,840
Speaker 2: Great?

39
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,720
Speaker 1: What food is okay for ducks? I actually know that answer.

40
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:08,440
Speaker 1: Frozen peas, frozen piece are okay for ducks. How does

41
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,280
Speaker 1: the light bulb work the old ones with gas inside them?

42
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,520
Speaker 1: Does everyone see colors the same? And how can we

43
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,399
Speaker 1: know that? I also know that one we don't see

44
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,840
Speaker 1: colors the same? Everyone has different colors.

45
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:23,360
Speaker 2: Colors of shirt.

46
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,680
Speaker 1: No, but we can both decide, like we both know

47
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,600
Speaker 1: that it's brown, but we see.

48
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,920
Speaker 2: It in different Like what you my.

49
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,000
Speaker 1: Brown could be slightly different than my brown, slightly different.

50
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,600
Speaker 2: It's like fingerprints different. Okay, I can accept slightly different.

51
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, And of course there's also people who are colorblind

52
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:41,960
Speaker 1: who see it completely differently.

53
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,920
Speaker 2: When when people say that, I are like like, like,

54
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,000
Speaker 2: oh what if? What if we all see it's you know,

55
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,480
Speaker 2: like when you go on like butter shopping you do

56
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,320
Speaker 2: like inverted and it looks like just crazy with like.

57
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:53,640
Speaker 1: No, I don't think it's sad. I think it's just

58
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:54,359
Speaker 1: slightly different.

59
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:55,400
Speaker 2: I can get done with that.

60
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's like I mean it's the same. I

61
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:02,080
Speaker 1: think from what I've read, a comparison would be, you know,

62
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,320
Speaker 1: we have different eye sights.

63
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,080
Speaker 2: Fair enough Anyways, total side tangent aside.

64
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,400
Speaker 1: Sorry, well, no, this was this was relevant.

65
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,800
Speaker 2: I mean, she did ask the question.

66
00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:13,399
Speaker 1: She asked the question. Uh, sorry for the long introduction,

67
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,079
Speaker 1: but it was kind of necessary for understanding what kind

68
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,840
Speaker 1: of person I am. I know that sometimes I might

69
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:23,560
Speaker 1: come across as annoying. Now on to the problem. His

70
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:27,080
Speaker 1: parents hosted a small barbecue last weekend only for the family,

71
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,720
Speaker 1: so it was the mom, fifty four female, dad, fifty

72
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,480
Speaker 1: nine male, brothers twenty six male, twenty nine male, and

73
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:38,840
Speaker 1: their wives twenty seven female and twenty seven female. I

74
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,520
Speaker 1: was the last person who showed up because I had

75
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,840
Speaker 1: to work late. I entered the house and when I

76
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,200
Speaker 1: was walking towards the back of the house in the backyard,

77
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:51,360
Speaker 1: I heard John's mom talking about me. To be honest,

78
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,360
Speaker 1: she wasn't talking about me. She wasn't talking about me,

79
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,160
Speaker 1: more like mocking me.

80
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:57,440
Speaker 2: Oh.

81
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,640
Speaker 1: I heard her say, in a high pitched voice, and

82
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,760
Speaker 1: is this sun work? Where should I put the fork?

83
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,600
Speaker 1: Why does nobody like me? How do I wipe my butt?

84
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:10,840
Speaker 2: Us? Yeah? You suck, she sucks. You whack brother. I

85
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,360
Speaker 2: could never imagine mocking someone. Yeah.

86
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,800
Speaker 1: I just stood there. I had this sinking feeling. I

87
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,960
Speaker 1: couldn't move, so I just stood there and I heard

88
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,400
Speaker 1: them all laughing. One of the wives said, I actually

89
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,880
Speaker 1: don't mind her always asking questions. I think it's cute.

90
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,400
Speaker 2: Shout out boom, shout out big up.

91
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,159
Speaker 1: And it made me hopeful that they will say something

92
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,520
Speaker 1: like yeah, sure, we're just playing. We love that, but

93
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,520
Speaker 1: none of them did. Instead, the mom replied, it's not cute,

94
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:45,480
Speaker 1: she's just stupid. Oh, and then they laughed again. I

95
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:50,680
Speaker 1: heard John laughing. My heart kind of broke in that

96
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:54,000
Speaker 1: moment because he didn't even say one positive thing. He

97
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:59,320
Speaker 1: didn't defend me, he just laughed. I quietly turned around

98
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,719
Speaker 1: and left the house. Yes, I texted John that I

99
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,719
Speaker 1: got sick and have to stay home. Now. I'm wondering

100
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:10,160
Speaker 1: how I should approach this situation divorce, I mean, actually

101
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,479
Speaker 1: prevorce prevorce. We live together and I sleep in the

102
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,680
Speaker 1: guests bedroom for now, and I use the excuse that

103
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,640
Speaker 1: I don't want him to get sick from being around me.

104
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,080
Speaker 1: I can't ignore him forever, and I can't pretend to

105
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,680
Speaker 1: be sick anymore because it's been too long. I'm not

106
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:28,119
Speaker 1: sure how I proceed. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding.

107
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,440
Speaker 1: I'm considering talking to them about this, but I'm also

108
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:33,839
Speaker 1: worried that they won't be honest with me. I can't

109
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,320
Speaker 1: marry him if he really thinks so stupid. But I

110
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,800
Speaker 1: also can't marry into a family who thinks so little

111
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,000
Speaker 1: of me. But maybe it was a joke and I

112
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,680
Speaker 1: shouldn't take it so seriously. I'm so torn apart and

113
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,839
Speaker 1: every day I convince myself a bit more that it's okay,

114
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,719
Speaker 1: and sometimes we should all laugh about ourselves. Now I

115
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,880
Speaker 1: feel like I'm just going crazy. I would really appreciate

116
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,040
Speaker 1: some advice.

117
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,000
Speaker 2: To be clear, especially to every one of the comments.

118
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,920
Speaker 2: Right now, This is not me. This is someone sub

119
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,280
Speaker 2: mercheon the good John name.

120
00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,240
Speaker 1: John? How could you do this? How could you do this?

121
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,160
Speaker 2: I don't do this.

122
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,160
Speaker 1: That's how likely story we have you in four k'.

123
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,440
Speaker 2: So it's so likely that it's literally true. That's how

124
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,640
Speaker 2: likely it is exactly.

125
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:23,080
Speaker 1: Wait, No, it's likely that you are in the story.

126
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,599
Speaker 2: No, it's likely that it's true that I'm not wrong.

127
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:31,400
Speaker 1: But anyway, there are some relevant comments. Oh uh. Back

128
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,680
Speaker 1: twenty ten says, tell John what you heard. Tell him.

129
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,520
Speaker 1: Of all the things you heard, his reaction hurt you

130
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,599
Speaker 1: the most. Tell him you cannot believe how cruel his

131
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:43,280
Speaker 1: mother was and his laughter and failure to stand up

132
00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:46,360
Speaker 1: for you was like a knife in the heart. Then

133
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,960
Speaker 1: ask him why should I marry you someone who is

134
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,159
Speaker 1: comfortable laughing at me when they think I can't hear them,

135
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,400
Speaker 1: You know, I ask questions to better understand something. The

136
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,279
Speaker 1: smartest person in the room is the person who knows

137
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,520
Speaker 1: they don't know everything and is not afraid to ask.

138
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,600
Speaker 1: When I heard everyone, all I could hear was ignorance, unkindness,

139
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:08,080
Speaker 1: a lack of grace, and no love whatsoever. How very

140
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,040
Speaker 1: graceful of you and your family to mock someone. Frankly,

141
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:17,600
Speaker 1: i'd call off the wedding. Damn I agree, I agree,

142
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:21,040
Speaker 1: I disagree. You don't think they should call off the wedding?

143
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that it's very very indicative of something

144
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:30,240
Speaker 2: much worse, which is that he doesn't respect or defend,

145
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:36,480
Speaker 2: or maybe he also finds these personality traits of his

146
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:40,000
Speaker 2: fiance and annoying to the point of it like not

147
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,280
Speaker 2: being a compatible match.

148
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:42,920
Speaker 1: But why wouldn't you call off the wedding?

149
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:49,120
Speaker 2: I think it needs a sit down. I think I

150
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:53,600
Speaker 2: think he is deserved to be confronted. Oh yeah, that

151
00:07:54,080 --> 00:08:00,800
Speaker 2: and just kind of further unravel willing to kind of

152
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,160
Speaker 2: get more to the core.

153
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,880
Speaker 1: I think she needs to talk to him either way.

154
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,720
Speaker 1: Ten thousand wedding.

155
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:12,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that they should absolutely talk, But off

156
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:18,080
Speaker 2: of this one interaction alone, I'm oh.

157
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, yeah, I think she needs to talk to him,

158
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,200
Speaker 1: But depending on his answer, I think you're predicting that

159
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:28,160
Speaker 1: and predicting that she calls up the wedding, and because.

160
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,560
Speaker 2: Like his behavior is actually much, he's not the guy

161
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,760
Speaker 2: who she thinks, Yes he is kind of.

162
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,200
Speaker 1: For example, if we found out like, oh, he just

163
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,120
Speaker 1: didn't stand up for that's still bad. That's that's true,

164
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,480
Speaker 1: still bad, and I would be like, well, I don't

165
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,240
Speaker 1: know if I can trust you. Two. Option two is

166
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,920
Speaker 1: he agrees, he agrees with his mom and thinks she's stupid.

167
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:52,480
Speaker 1: Done bad, done. But there is an update, so let's

168
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:56,640
Speaker 1: get into it three days later. First of all, I

169
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,920
Speaker 1: wanted to say thank you to people who reached out

170
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,600
Speaker 1: to answer my question about black holes, snails, ducks, light bulbs,

171
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,240
Speaker 1: and other stuff.

172
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:04,440
Speaker 2: Sweet.

173
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,000
Speaker 1: I would love to have you as my friends. For

174
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,040
Speaker 1: the other people who said I should just shut up,

175
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,040
Speaker 1: I don't really care if you find me annoying or

176
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:17,800
Speaker 1: hard to be around, I am okay with that. Those idiots,

177
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,400
Speaker 1: I'm okay. I'm allergic to you freaking stupid people.

178
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:24,720
Speaker 2: I show his own tight.

179
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:31,000
Speaker 1: I don't exist to please everyone. What a great philosophy. Honestly, Oh,

180
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:34,000
Speaker 1: he sounds really cool, like I don't exist to please everyone.

181
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,800
Speaker 1: And if I have a question, I'm gonna freaking learn.

182
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:37,440
Speaker 2: I like it.

183
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,839
Speaker 1: That's the energy we need to have.

184
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,120
Speaker 2: That's correct. Yeah, that's correct, Sophia.

185
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,400
Speaker 1: I didn't expect my post to gain so much attention,

186
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,480
Speaker 1: but I'm so grateful for the advice. Most of you

187
00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:49,680
Speaker 1: told me to break up with him and at the

188
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,880
Speaker 1: very least confront him. So that's what I decided to do.

189
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:56,160
Speaker 1: You gave me a push and the confidence to do it.

190
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,760
Speaker 1: But before I did that, I texted the wife of

191
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,400
Speaker 1: John's brother, the one who said she liked me, asking

192
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,080
Speaker 1: questions and I asked if we could meet up for coffee.

193
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,760
Speaker 1: She said sure, we met and I didn't see the

194
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,600
Speaker 1: point in pretending to her that I didn't hear their conversation.

195
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,160
Speaker 1: So after some small talk, I just said I heard

196
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,640
Speaker 1: you all talking about me during the barbecue. She immediately

197
00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:21,040
Speaker 1: got sad and said she feels embarrassed. She explained that

198
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,120
Speaker 1: it wasn't a joke, wasn't out of context, that it

199
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:29,600
Speaker 1: was just mean and hurtful. Shout out this woman, she sounds.

200
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:30,840
Speaker 2: Great, this is awesome.

201
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:34,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, she said she's sorry for not defending me more.

202
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,360
Speaker 1: She said, oh, but I said, that's it's okay, and

203
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,800
Speaker 1: I understand. I told her that I don't blame her

204
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,120
Speaker 1: for anything, and just wanted to make sure that I

205
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,880
Speaker 1: understand the situation and see it for what it really was.

206
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,600
Speaker 1: And it really was laughing about me behind my back,

207
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:53,360
Speaker 1: just bullying. At this point, I just had to confront John.

208
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,600
Speaker 1: In my last post, so many comments were saying that

209
00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,880
Speaker 1: he will probably try gas letting me, and you were right.

210
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,600
Speaker 1: We were having dinner together for the first time since

211
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,240
Speaker 1: the barbecue happened, because before I tried my best to

212
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:09,320
Speaker 1: avoid him. Yes, I know, not very ma sure of me,

213
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:11,839
Speaker 1: but other than you guys, I don't really have a

214
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:15,720
Speaker 1: strong support system. My family and best friends are hundreds

215
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,839
Speaker 1: of kilometers away. I only have two good friends here.

216
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,400
Speaker 1: So I was stressed and I thought I was going

217
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,280
Speaker 1: to pass out. My legs were shaking, and I was

218
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,520
Speaker 1: terrified because I knew deep down that this is the

219
00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:31,160
Speaker 1: moment when my five year relationship goes down the drain.

220
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:37,360
Speaker 1: I looked him in the eyes and asked, how does

221
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,000
Speaker 1: the sun work?

222
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:38,920
Speaker 2: Ooh?

223
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,680
Speaker 1: He looked confused, so I followed with where should I

224
00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:46,400
Speaker 1: put my fork? Why does nobody like me? At this point,

225
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:51,120
Speaker 1: realization hit him and he started nervously laughing. I said,

226
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,240
Speaker 1: I was there and I heard them. After the initial

227
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:58,160
Speaker 1: shock passed, he got mad. He said it's rude to eavestrong.

228
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,880
Speaker 1: I said it's rude to bully people. He tried telling

229
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,679
Speaker 1: me that it was just a joke, that I shouldn't

230
00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:08,000
Speaker 1: be so uptight, that it really was funny. I said

231
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,760
Speaker 1: that I didn't find it funny and went to the

232
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:14,320
Speaker 1: guest bedroom to calm down. He started panicking. He was

233
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,880
Speaker 1: asking me to please talk to him. He was much

234
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,360
Speaker 1: more apologetic and said that he will be one hundred

235
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,319
Speaker 1: percent honest with me. I asked him if his mother

236
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,520
Speaker 1: had made similar comments before the barbecue. He said yes.

237
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:29,080
Speaker 1: I asked him if he ever defended me. He said

238
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,079
Speaker 1: he tries to, but I don't know if I believe him.

239
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:32,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

240
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean he didn't at all. He told me

241
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,319
Speaker 1: he loves me and respects me, but I don't know

242
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,880
Speaker 1: if I believe it either. I said that I love

243
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,920
Speaker 1: him too, but I need a break. He's all I've

244
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:47,000
Speaker 1: ever known. He was my first and only partner. I

245
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:50,360
Speaker 1: have no outside perspective of this. I have no experience.

246
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,160
Speaker 1: I need a moment to think. I will be going

247
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,360
Speaker 1: to my friend's house for a while to think everything

248
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,640
Speaker 1: through the apartment has his name on the least. Anyway,

249
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,880
Speaker 1: after I gathered some of my things and left, he

250
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,840
Speaker 1: kept texting me non stop. He tried calling, but I

251
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,839
Speaker 1: didn't respond. I was very hurt because he tried to

252
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,880
Speaker 1: belittle my feelings, and only later, when he realized that

253
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,679
Speaker 1: I might break up with him did he start apologizing.

254
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:16,240
Speaker 2: Oh.

255
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:19,640
Speaker 1: The next day, I decided to give him another chance

256
00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,600
Speaker 1: to explain himself, and I came back to the apartment.

257
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,280
Speaker 1: He seemed very sad and tired. He said that he

258
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,280
Speaker 1: told his mother that I overheard him. I said, I

259
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,120
Speaker 1: don't care. It's his time to step up and show

260
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,120
Speaker 1: me that he cares.

261
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:33,640
Speaker 2: Oh.

262
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,240
Speaker 1: I am not interested in an apology from his mother.

263
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,680
Speaker 1: I'm already done with her, and I can't put up

264
00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:42,800
Speaker 1: with his behavior and mocking me like we're in primary school.

265
00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:47,280
Speaker 1: Tell him so good. I saw comment saying that probably

266
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,880
Speaker 1: her ego is hurting. I think it's true. She never

267
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:54,000
Speaker 1: got the chance or never had desire to have an education,

268
00:13:55,840 --> 00:14:00,079
Speaker 1: freaking studivid. She's a very good homemaker, but outside of that,

269
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,720
Speaker 1: she doesn't have many interests of her own. If I'm

270
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,680
Speaker 1: asking her about making tomato soup, she will be talking

271
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,280
Speaker 1: for thirty minutes, lecturing me about adding enough sugar but

272
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,240
Speaker 1: not too much. She will lecture anyone who is willing

273
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:16,200
Speaker 1: to listen, but anyone. Anytime someone is talking about something

274
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,480
Speaker 1: she's not familiar with, she gets defensive and tries to

275
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,000
Speaker 1: imply that nobody cares about that and it's not relevant

276
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,560
Speaker 1: to her. It shouldn't be discussed.

277
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean insecurity.

278
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:29,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, very she seems very insecure. Like once again, he

279
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,040
Speaker 1: tried telling me that I should just relax because it

280
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,520
Speaker 1: was only a joke. And at this point I had enough.

281
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,560
Speaker 1: I took off my ring and told him that this

282
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:43,680
Speaker 1: behavior is a joke and I can't be the punchline.

283
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:50,280
Speaker 1: Opie is coming to this argument with like a machine

284
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,520
Speaker 1: gun amount of like zingers.

285
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:58,560
Speaker 2: After all the questions she's asked, she's just learned how bam, bam,

286
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:03,120
Speaker 2: you know what sound freaking off, bound off.

287
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:06,840
Speaker 1: You came with the receipts and you're not coming out

288
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,600
Speaker 1: without your money back.

289
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:13,880
Speaker 2: That's right, nice to everyone's singing.

290
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,600
Speaker 1: I told him that I wish him and his family

291
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,480
Speaker 1: the best and to look in the mirror to check

292
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,920
Speaker 1: if they really are as superior as they think they are.

293
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,360
Speaker 1: I said, I'm going to be back with my friends

294
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,400
Speaker 1: soon to pick up the rest of my stuff and

295
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,320
Speaker 1: to not contact me again unless it's about moving my

296
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:35,000
Speaker 1: things out, and that's it. I'm done. Thank you all

297
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,400
Speaker 1: for the advice. Without you, I wouldn't have had the

298
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,720
Speaker 1: confidence to leave this man. I know I deserve better.

299
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,440
Speaker 1: I can't be with someone who can't stand up for me,

300
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,760
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't be able to feel comfortable around his family.

301
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,920
Speaker 1: So I'm done with the relationship. I hope they will

302
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,760
Speaker 1: treat his next girl from better. Thank you again. Read

303
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:58,280
Speaker 1: it for advice and there are some comments to finish

304
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,880
Speaker 1: us off. Elemental Help says, once again, he tried telling

305
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,880
Speaker 1: me that I should relax because it was only a joke,

306
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,240
Speaker 1: and at this point I had enough. I took off

307
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,160
Speaker 1: my ring and told him that his behavior is a joke.

308
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,120
Speaker 1: I can't be the punchline. And then this person comments

309
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:15,680
Speaker 1: not me, fist pumping the air after reading this epic line, OPI,

310
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:21,160
Speaker 1: you are my hero. Well done. Same same tri lender

311
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:26,320
Speaker 1: Shock says he said it's rude to eavestrop LMAO, the

312
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,520
Speaker 1: audacity of this man. You're so rude for listening to

313
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,160
Speaker 1: the crap. We were talking about you in the house.

314
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:32,680
Speaker 2: You ran.

315
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,800
Speaker 1: The irony of him and his garbage family calling you

316
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:41,640
Speaker 1: stupid when he tried pulling this inane nonsense is priceless.

317
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,680
Speaker 1: Your instincts are completely right, and you clearly are a

318
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,640
Speaker 1: smart girl with a good head on your shoulders. I'm

319
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,120
Speaker 1: also a person who loves learning about the world, and

320
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,680
Speaker 1: I promise you can find plenty of people who cherish

321
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:59,440
Speaker 1: and admire your curiosity. And that is the end of

322
00:16:59,480 --> 00:16:59,880
Speaker 1: that story.

323
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:06,439
Speaker 2: Honestly, like slight sightangent, but asking like kids are are

324
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:07,360
Speaker 2: so curious.

325
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,639
Speaker 1: Kids are so curious and constantly asking why is this

326
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,000
Speaker 1: sky blue? Why?

327
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:12,280
Speaker 2: Why?

328
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:12,880
Speaker 3: But? Why?

329
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,080
Speaker 1: What about that? What about that?

330
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,960
Speaker 2: And it's it's like you learn it's the greatest thing ever,

331
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,520
Speaker 2: and like something happens to us when we're adults and

332
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,480
Speaker 2: it's like, oh, you're stupid for asking a question, or

333
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,800
Speaker 2: that's like the I don't know whatever, And I I

334
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,280
Speaker 2: just love that Opie has this like mindset, And honestly,

335
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,880
Speaker 2: that's my one of my takeaways from no I feel

336
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:31,080
Speaker 2: like I.

337
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,280
Speaker 1: Don't know if I always like take away a lot

338
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:35,879
Speaker 1: from some of these stories, but this I'm like, I

339
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,840
Speaker 1: do want to go forward and ask questions when I

340
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:44,159
Speaker 1: have them same. I think that as adults, learning is

341
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 1: stigmatized m and we see this, you know, in asking questions,

342
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,560
Speaker 1: but also in learning how to draw. You're not allowed

343
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,600
Speaker 1: to be bad at something when you're adult, or you don't.

344
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,160
Speaker 1: You don't give yourself permission to be bad at something.

345
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,480
Speaker 1: That's so true because you know, if you started drawing

346
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,479
Speaker 1: as an adult and you were drawing freaking stick figures

347
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,840
Speaker 1: and someone came up there was like, you're drawing stick figures?

348
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,000
Speaker 2: What the heck?

349
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,880
Speaker 1: But if a child we're drawing stick figures, we'd be like, yes,

350
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,399
Speaker 1: you're do just a good job, You're doing amazing, and

351
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,360
Speaker 1: that's how they get better.

352
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,680
Speaker 2: I want to do things that I'm terrible at and

353
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,880
Speaker 2: have people encourage me in a baby voice.

354
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,280
Speaker 1: I agree, if you want to freaking go out there

355
00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:29,320
Speaker 1: and learn how to play piano, Who am I to say,

356
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 1: oh God, your piano playing is terrible?

357
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,879
Speaker 2: Dang? Yeah, who are you to say that?

358
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:36,200
Speaker 3: You?

359
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,080
Speaker 1: Who am I to say that?

360
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:38,440
Speaker 2: Nobody a should?

361
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,560
Speaker 1: We should be supporting each other when I'm learning new things.

362
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 2: That's true, and that's my takeaway. I Yeah, I've I

363
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,320
Speaker 2: took away that I took away. Uh, just thinking about

364
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:54,320
Speaker 2: the disrespect at the X gave absolutely trash greed and

365
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,960
Speaker 2: what was the question of this episode again, When should.

366
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,199
Speaker 1: You stand up for a partner in front of your

367
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,200
Speaker 1: family from your family?

368
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 2: Pretty much? Always, always, always, maybe unless I could see

369
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:14,159
Speaker 2: some scenarios where both part both like the partner and

370
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 2: the person that are defending is maybe worse off and

371
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,640
Speaker 2: it's like not worth it. But I I I think

372
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 2: that those scenarios are very very very small, you know

373
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 2: what I mean. I'm trying to like think of one,

374
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:33,159
Speaker 2: like something basically where it's not not worth it, oh

375
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 2: to stand up for them, you know what I mean? Like, yeah,

376
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,400
Speaker 2: but I can't the problem now, I think there's many

377
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 2: cases where it could be like some some random adult

378
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:44,440
Speaker 2: in your life or something, if they like say or

379
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 2: like you're standing in line, something like oh, well, well

380
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,360
Speaker 2: that's a stupid pick or something. It's like who cares.

381
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 2: I don't want to engage with you because you're like

382
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 2: a stranger. But it's the dynamics change because you have

383
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 2: you probably have to have some sort of exposure to

384
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 2: your in laws. Yeah, and you're your partner's family. So

385
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 2: it is.

386
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:08,239
Speaker 3: An interesting, interesting balance, interesting balance, but basically, I can

387
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 3: I can't even think of one scenario where you shouldn't

388
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,960
Speaker 3: defend your partner in from their family and everyone else.

389
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all I have to say, But that's not

390
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 2: all I have to read. Okay, sit your freaking what's

391
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 2: in those seats?

392
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 1: Get your butts back in your chairs, light your cheeks,

393
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 1: and start your engines and get ready for this