1 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: There Are No Girls on the Internet. As a production 2 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and Unbossed Creative. I'm Bridget Todd and this 3 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 1: is There Are No Girls on the Internet. We talk 4 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 1: a lot on this podcast about the ethics around not 5 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,920 Speaker 1: to mention the safety of social media, especially when it 6 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: involves the young people. And if you've spent any time 7 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 1: at all on platforms like Instagram or TikTok, if you've 8 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: no doubt seen parents who make their kids, even babies, 9 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 1: the focal point of their entire social media presence. And 10 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: sometimes this can be big business, generating a meaningful income 11 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: in brand deals and partnerships. But what happens to kids 12 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: when their parents use them for social media content. It's 13 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:53,519 Speaker 1: actually kind of uncharted territory. There isn't even a ton 14 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: of research on the psychological impacts because it's so new, 15 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: And this is really one of those situations where technology, 16 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 1: what it makes possible, and the norms around it have 17 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 1: evolved more quickly than our research or laws have. But 18 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 1: here's what we do know. Young people who have had 19 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,960 Speaker 1: this experience of being the focal point of a mommy 20 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 1: blog or social media account are speaking up, and now 21 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: new legislation aims to regulate how parents can legally use 22 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: and profit from their kids on social media. I joined 23 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: my friends Annie and Samantha over at the podcast stuff 24 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: Mom never told you to discuss, and honestly, I really, 25 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 1: really really want to know what y'all think, because, like 26 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: I said, this is totally new territory and none of 27 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 1: us really know how it will unpact young people. So 28 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear your thoughts. Hey, this is Annie 29 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: and Samantha and welcome to Stephane. Never told your protection 30 00:01:47,440 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio, and today we are once again thrilled, so ecstatic, 31 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: joyful to be joined by the amazing world traveling bridget 32 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,919 Speaker 1: I love the introductions you all give. They won't they 33 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 1: like truly warm my heart? Yes, well, you warm our 34 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: heart by being here, especially when you're doing so much 35 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 1: other stuff and you are coming at us from a 36 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: different location. Correct, that's right, I'm coming from you live. 37 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 1: Well not it won't be live when people hear this, 38 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: but live for right now from Mexico City, Mexico, where 39 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: it's nice and warm. Yeah, it's lovely here. It looks lovely. 40 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:44,639 Speaker 1: You've got like a like healthy light globe coming in 41 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: behind me where we're staying is like has a lovely 42 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 1: view and like all the different monuments and stuff. And 43 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,960 Speaker 1: then there's I didn't know that Mexico City is so mountainous, 44 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: so it's like a really it's kind of like being 45 00:02:55,760 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: in California, like a beautiful view, but then skyscrapers. Yeah, 46 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: ten out of ten can recommend. Yes, So you're having 47 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 1: a good time. Can you give us some highlights, some 48 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 1: food maybe that you've had. Oh? Yes, everything I've eaten 49 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,640 Speaker 1: has been amazing, honestly, it's so one of the reasons 50 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: I wanted to come to Mexico City was because of 51 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,080 Speaker 1: the food. I've been told that you could go to 52 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 1: like Michelin Star super bougie restaurant and get a delicious 53 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: meal in Mexico City if you wanted to, or just 54 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 1: get like, you know, cheap tacos on the street and 55 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: that would be delicious. And so I've been eating all 56 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: the things, lots of street tacos, which are great. Something 57 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 1: else I like is they take breakfast very seriously here, 58 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 1: which I am a breakfast person. I really like that. 59 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: So lots of good breakfasts items. Yeah, so far I've 60 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: been I've only been here since Saturday, so it hasn't 61 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 1: been that long, but looking forward to eating all the things. Yes, oh, say, 62 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: you've been there almost a week, so yeah, I think 63 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: you've gotten You've gotten some variety. I'm sure you're gonna 64 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: have a whole lot more. But that's I'm very jealous of, 65 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 1: like the breakfast, because I'm sure it's all I see delicious. 66 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: There's something about a savory, spicy breakfast. It does it 67 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: really doesn't want it. I'll be there. Save a couch 68 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: for me, save a couch, yes, yes, yes, as well. 69 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: We're looking forward to checking back in more food updates hopefully, 70 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 1: but yeah, thank you so much for taking the time 71 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,159 Speaker 1: to join us from a different city when you haven't 72 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 1: been there that long. Oh, always a pleasure. And my 73 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 1: own podcast, There Are No Girls on the Internet is 74 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: on a hiatus, so I feel like, um, in this 75 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 1: time where I'm not podcasting, having an outlet wreck and 76 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 1: be like I saw this thing on the internet and 77 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: I have to talk about it with somebody. Has been 78 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:54,280 Speaker 1: great for me, So thank you for having me. Yes, absolutely, 79 00:04:54,360 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: And the topic he bought today is fascinating and such 80 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: like a big one and one that we have discussed 81 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: a lot on the show. Recently because we've been kind 82 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: of on a tech streak on the show, and not 83 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:16,839 Speaker 1: to like, not to put words into anyone else's mouths. 84 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 1: But I didn't grow up with social media. I got 85 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: it late college, I would say, was the earliest that 86 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 1: I got. Some friends of mine got it when I 87 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: was in high school, but I was kind of a 88 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: late bloomer, as they say. And I know it sounds 89 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,320 Speaker 1: kind of like back in my day, but I'm I'm 90 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 1: pretty thankful for it, honestly in a lot of ways. 91 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:46,720 Speaker 1: And this this kind of new phenomenon of all of 92 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: our lives, but especially in this outline bridget of children's 93 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 1: lives being on the internet is fairly new and in 94 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 1: a lot of ways kind of disturbed, a little unsettling. 95 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 1: I did want to ask before we get into this 96 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: conversation both of you, what was your kind of experience 97 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,359 Speaker 1: with social media? And also, and you can pass on 98 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: this one because I know it's kind of a fraught subject, 99 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: does your family follow you on social media? Oh? What 100 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: a good question. Well, you know, we just before we 101 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: got on here talked about the fact that I am 102 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:32,680 Speaker 1: from the generation of Beeper's and that the Internet was 103 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,279 Speaker 1: not a thing until I almost got into college. Essentially, 104 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: like at the tail end of everything. The beeper was 105 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 1: due to my job. And at my first job out 106 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:46,840 Speaker 1: of college, I was a child abuse investigator and those 107 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:50,919 Speaker 1: systems were getting online, were you. I was still in 108 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,280 Speaker 1: the time where we were doing everything by hand. Essentially, 109 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 1: that was where I am. The technology and social media 110 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: was fairly new for me. I think outside of college 111 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:07,280 Speaker 1: had like my Space and Facebook. I dabbled that first, 112 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: and since then, I'm like, Okay, I like the social 113 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:14,119 Speaker 1: media thing, but I am also very grateful, especially seeing 114 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: what my nieces and nephew have gone through with social media, 115 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: which they are gen z or so it's a whole 116 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: different level. I do have family that follow me. I 117 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: do not like it, and now a post less because 118 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: they follow me. Yeah. Say, we were talking about how 119 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: the first time I met you, Samantha, you this was 120 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,520 Speaker 1: just a couple of years ago, you had a beeper 121 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,400 Speaker 1: on your person the first time you met in person 122 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 1: years ago. Yeah, my relationship with social media, I Annie, 123 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: I'm kind of like you, Like, I am so glad 124 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: that I came of age in a time where social media, Like, 125 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: I'm glad that what I was doing on social media 126 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 1: or like the early days of my internet usage, it's 127 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: not still around behind me or at least Scott, I 128 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 1: hope not. So. I was using things like live journal 129 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: when I was in early high school, and I remember 130 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 1: I was in college when we first got Facebook, and 131 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 1: before Facebook, it was my Space, so like I was 132 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: like a scene kid and so college, like my Space 133 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 1: dominated my college experience. Like that was like how you 134 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 1: understood and kept up with my gross scenster hipster friends 135 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: in college. But it's funny because even though I was 136 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 1: dabbling with social media back then, it's so different than 137 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 1: it is today, Like it like it doesn't even feel 138 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,079 Speaker 1: like the same thing. I guess it technically was social media, 139 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 1: but the implications were so different than I mean, back then, 140 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: you were spending hours making it so that when you 141 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 1: go to your MySpace page, it has like falling stars 142 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 1: and an AutoPlay panic at the disco song that nobody 143 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 1: can pause. But it was stuff like that, and it 144 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: was a social media but it was so different than 145 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 1: today that I should of whether or not my family 146 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 1: follows me on social media. I don't allow them to 147 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: follow me on social media. This could be a longer 148 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 1: conversation but I feel like I've kind of accepted that 149 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 1: my social media and digital presence is not actually who 150 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 1: I am in real life, and so you know, you 151 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: should really be thinking about, like when you post on 152 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,599 Speaker 1: social media, like who is your audience? Who is this for? 153 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 1: And so who I actually am that the audience for 154 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 1: that is like my friends and family, people who knew 155 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: me in real life, my online persona, if you will. 156 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: That's not for my friends and family. That's where people 157 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: who are interested in my podcast, interested in my content, 158 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: that kind of thing. Like, And so I draw like 159 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: pretty clear distinction between the two. Like I almost think 160 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,079 Speaker 1: of my social media or like digital self as like 161 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 1: my avatar for my real self. And I don't like 162 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 1: the idea of the two kind of the two worlds 163 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,959 Speaker 1: kind of overlapping. So I try to keep a very 164 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 1: clear distinction between my friend in family irl and my 165 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 1: social media persona, which I don't see as my real self, 166 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 1: if that makes sense. I know I probably sound like 167 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 1: somebody who just took a huge bong rip. I swear 168 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 1: to god I have not. You know, that's pretty fascinating 169 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,119 Speaker 1: because I think that says a lot to the reality 170 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: of social media. When you say it like that there 171 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,559 Speaker 1: is a persona and there's this whole level of understanding 172 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: that there's a difference between the person and what's seen 173 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 1: on screen in different accounts, in different platforms. And I know, 174 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,319 Speaker 1: as we're talking about the subject you're bringing which I 175 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 1: have a lot of opinions, So I'm really really excited 176 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 1: and a lot of concerns, just as being in child welfare, 177 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 1: but in that level of what we see and what 178 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:51,640 Speaker 1: is posted and who has control of what is being posted. Absolutely, 179 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 1: it's it's so complicated, and I think it's complicated for 180 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: me as a grown woman in my thirties. I can 181 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 1: only manage how much more complicated it gets navigating this 182 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: as a young person. So I know that I came 183 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 1: on the show quite a while ago to talk about 184 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 1: Francis Hogan, the Facebook whistle blower, and what she what 185 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: her whistle blowing revealed about what Facebook and Instagram knows 186 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: about how social media negatively it impacts young girls, And 187 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: so that was a conversation that we had. But this 188 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,000 Speaker 1: conversation is a little bit different because it really asks 189 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 1: what happens when it's not the you know, teen or 190 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 1: the child getting on social media themselves, what happens when 191 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: it's the mom or the parent who is kind of 192 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 1: forcing I use that word in quotes, forcing their child 193 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,559 Speaker 1: to be part of their social media content, part of 194 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 1: their social media persona. And so on my podcast, there 195 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: are No Girls on the Internet. I did this fascinating 196 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,320 Speaker 1: interview with this woman, Sarah Adams, and she runs the 197 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 1: TikTok account mom Uncharted. She told me that she calls 198 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 1: her account mom Uncharted because social media, if you think 199 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:57,080 Speaker 1: about it, it's really like this uncharted territory for parenting, 200 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: and we really do not know how social media will 201 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 1: impact our kids. If you want to listen to the 202 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 1: whole interview, check out my podcast. It's It's she's a 203 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 1: really fascinating person, but her social media account is dedicated 204 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:13,200 Speaker 1: to explorations of kind of mom influencing and like mom 205 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: run accounts and all the different ways that parents. It's honestly, 206 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 1: it's usually moms use their children for content on social media. 207 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 1: She told me that social media, you know, the dynamics 208 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 1: around it have changed so quickly, not that long ago. 209 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,240 Speaker 1: If I would just say something like, oh, sharing your 210 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: kid on social media, you might think that means like 211 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 1: posting a cute picture on Facebook where you're great aunt 212 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 1: or your uncle or something might like it. Now, kids 213 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,439 Speaker 1: who are not even really old enough to understand what 214 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 1: it means, not to mention, not old enough to consent 215 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 1: to it, can have their most intimate or sensitive or 216 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: embarrassing moments seen by millions of people on social media 217 00:12:51,679 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 1: platforms like TikTok. Right, as we've said in a lot 218 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: of these past episodes, this is sort of an iteration 219 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,679 Speaker 1: of things we've seen before. This is going to also 220 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: kind of age me. But my parents wants in a 221 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,800 Speaker 1: video of me as a kid to America's funny as 222 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: some videos, But that's like very different, Like they weren't 223 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 1: going to make money off of it, right, but what 224 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 1: were you doing in the video? Never you mind? I 225 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,240 Speaker 1: was alternately like so enamored with a frog and then 226 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,960 Speaker 1: terrified of the frog. It's just like it wasn't that funny, 227 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 1: but they thought it was very funny. But then it 228 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: became like you know, reality TV, and we've talked about 229 00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: those things before as well, of like kind of the 230 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:52,679 Speaker 1: dance Mom's situation. And then now it becomes, oh, what 231 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 1: we're seeing on social media where people are making money 232 00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:00,680 Speaker 1: off of this content of their kids, where the kids 233 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 1: can't consent to it, where it will probably never be 234 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,560 Speaker 1: able to be fully erased if that's what they wanted, 235 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 1: If that's what they wanted, And then I know we're 236 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,440 Speaker 1: going to talk about this later, but there's kind of 237 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:14,840 Speaker 1: all these achy issues around like paris social relationships people 238 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:20,800 Speaker 1: develop with these kids, and what do we do about that? 239 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: Like is that the platform? Is it the parent that's 240 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: posting this content? Like all of these questions that come 241 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 1: from from what it like one level can seem like, oh, 242 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 1: this is just a cute video of this kid falling 243 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 1: over something, But when you dig deeper than that, there's 244 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 1: just all of these other questions exactly and you put 245 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: it so well right, like just two level set. I 246 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 1: don't feel like every parent who shares content of their 247 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 1: kid is it's created equal here, Like there's a pretty 248 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 1: big difference between you know, sharing the occasional family vacation 249 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 1: video or like cute picture or whatever with your friends 250 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: on social media or even wider Internet. There's a difference 251 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,000 Speaker 1: between that, which I think most people do. And it 252 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:08,360 Speaker 1: is like fine and running a business that generates income 253 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,760 Speaker 1: from relying on an audience of millions of people engaging 254 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 1: with your child, right, And there are so many questions 255 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 1: that you just kind of alluded to and reasons for 256 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 1: why we should sort of be asking questions about what 257 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 1: that is doing to our kids. One of the things 258 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 1: that I think is unique about social media and technology 259 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: in general is how quickly it moves. Things just move 260 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 1: really quickly. And I think that when it comes to 261 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 1: our kids and the impact on our kids, it would 262 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,600 Speaker 1: behove us to not move really quickly, would behove us 263 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: to take a minute, pump the brakes and do some 264 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 1: real deep thought about how we want our children to 265 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 1: be showing up on social media and whether or not 266 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:47,320 Speaker 1: it's actually good for them psychologically, emotionally, and whether or 267 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 1: not it's actually safe, like in the real you know, 268 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 1: in every implication of the word, like sometimes it is 269 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: not safe to share so much of your child on 270 00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 1: social media with strangers. You know, there might be a 271 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: negative psychological impact on kids. I really wanted to find 272 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'm going to get some good 273 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: media research on this. But as the uncharted part of 274 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 1: Sarah Adams's TikTok Names suggests, there kind of isn't a 275 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: ton of good research out there about the way that 276 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: being used for content by your parents would impact children, 277 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:26,840 Speaker 1: and that's partly because it's just so new, Morgan sung 278 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 1: over at NBC. She's one of my favorite Internet reporters, 279 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 1: and she's really been following this beat of young people 280 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: who have been kind of turned into content by their parents. 281 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 1: So Morgan spoke to Lindsay Cooley, who was a licensed 282 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 1: clinical child psychologist, who said that because social media is 283 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,400 Speaker 1: so relatively new, there is not really a lot of 284 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: clinical research on the long term effects of what she 285 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: calls growing up online. But lately, some kids who did 286 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 1: grow up with parents who shared every aspect of their 287 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:57,160 Speaker 1: lives on social media are starting to speak out. Morgan 288 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 1: Song talked to Cam, whose mom used to make content 289 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 1: about their life. Cam said that their mom sharing every 290 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: single detail of their life had a real negative impact 291 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: on their mental health, and eventually they kind of stopped 292 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 1: being open with their mom about whatever they were going 293 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,400 Speaker 1: through because they knew this is just going to wind 294 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: up being shared on the Internet with her followers. Cam 295 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,879 Speaker 1: is immuno compromised and would spend a lot of time 296 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,760 Speaker 1: ill or sick, and rather than like being there for them, 297 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 1: Cam says that their mom would just be filming these 298 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 1: filming that's for content. So at times in their life 299 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: where they were sick or stressed or going through something difficult, 300 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 1: their mom would be there with a camera in their face, 301 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:41,199 Speaker 1: right right. And I think that's the way you phrased 302 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 1: it of like you know, using kids for content, of 303 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: like then you become something like a tool to get 304 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:55,399 Speaker 1: clicks as opposed to like a child that needs care 305 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 1: and needs help and needs respects. And how damaging that 306 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,880 Speaker 1: absolutely would be if you start to feel like, oh, 307 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,199 Speaker 1: it's just like my tears are just a way for 308 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,679 Speaker 1: you to film something and get people to watch it. 309 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,400 Speaker 1: Like what what would that do to you? Like that's 310 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,680 Speaker 1: very damaging? I think yeah. And it's actually as an adult, 311 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,640 Speaker 1: like speaking of that sort of distinction between my social 312 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,919 Speaker 1: media life or my digital life and my real life, 313 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:24,879 Speaker 1: I don't really share a lot of my like real 314 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 1: life on social media, and in part it's because of 315 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 1: that tension that you just named. If I have something 316 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,640 Speaker 1: in my life it is really truly meaningful to me, 317 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,640 Speaker 1: I am really uncomfortable with the idea of that being content, 318 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 1: of that being something to generate clicks, of that being 319 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,880 Speaker 1: something that's going to have a number attached to it, like, oh, 320 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:51,040 Speaker 1: three hundred people liked that my grandfather passed away or whatever. 321 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:55,919 Speaker 1: Like I'm I really am not comfortable with that personally, 322 00:18:56,119 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 1: and so I tend to keep big or meaningful real 323 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 1: life moments off of social media because of that, because 324 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 1: I don't like the idea, and I'm like, no shade 325 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 1: to anybody who doesn't feel that way. This is just 326 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,720 Speaker 1: how it feels for me. It just doesn't feel right, 327 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,199 Speaker 1: and I think for me it feels like it is 328 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: does a disservice to how meaningful those moments truly are 329 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,680 Speaker 1: in my life. I don't want to see Mark Zuckerberg's 330 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 1: engagement metric on the back end of something that was 331 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,359 Speaker 1: like deeply meaningful to me in my real life. That 332 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: seems to cheap, and that feels a little bit cheap 333 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:32,640 Speaker 1: to me, I guess, yeah. And it is interesting because again, 334 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,760 Speaker 1: we are adults, and if you want to post that 335 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: content and you're contenting to, yeah, you're an adult, so 336 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 1: you can consent to it. Then that's one thing. It 337 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,919 Speaker 1: still feels strange because that's a whole separate podcast, but 338 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 1: kind of still like, oh, here's this sad thing I 339 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 1: have to like it, because otherwise they're gonna be mad. 340 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,560 Speaker 1: I didn't like it, Like there's like this kind of 341 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:57,160 Speaker 1: social dynamic around that feels odd because then you're like, well, 342 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 1: I'm liking this thing. That's really sad, but I find 343 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 1: don't do it. But I do think that, and please 344 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,439 Speaker 1: don't come at me listeners, but I do think like 345 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,200 Speaker 1: in the same way people sometimes use like pets or 346 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: puppies to be like, oh, look, how cute. Click on 347 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,200 Speaker 1: this content here they are people are using their kids 348 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,840 Speaker 1: like that, like see here's my life, here's this like 349 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,240 Speaker 1: view of my life, and like, oh, what did my 350 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: kid do today to get these clicks? And if that 351 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,680 Speaker 1: is like oh my kid is very sick and I 352 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 1: am going through a hard time. Please, you know, give 353 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,160 Speaker 1: me these likes, give me this engagement, it does become 354 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: pretty murky, right. You know. It's interesting too as we 355 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: were talking about the levels, like you're talking about social 356 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,360 Speaker 1: media etiquette, which has been a conversation like how how 357 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,160 Speaker 1: do you go from this? But also how social media 358 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 1: has grown, Like when you think of the initial Facebook, 359 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,359 Speaker 1: it was literally to connect with college friends for me, 360 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: or your past friends or high school friends that you 361 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 1: haven't seen. So you may be updating, so I might 362 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 1: get a picture of my old high school friend who 363 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 1: had a child, and oh, how cute. And it wasn't 364 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 1: necessarily about getting likes and looks. It's just, hey, I'm 365 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,800 Speaker 1: updating you about my life, even to the point that 366 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:14,880 Speaker 1: like wedding announcements, funeral announcements were done on Facebook. I'm 367 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 1: on Facebook still to remember people's birthdays and to get 368 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,720 Speaker 1: an event advice, because a lot of people used to 369 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,199 Speaker 1: use that as the way of getting invitations or birthday 370 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 1: parties or even sometimes weddings, which is really odd. But 371 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 1: the level that we have grown to is this genre 372 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,159 Speaker 1: of TikTok. TikTok is not a thing you can do private, 373 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,639 Speaker 1: and you can do small content, but it really is 374 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 1: a race to see what can go viral and what 375 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,200 Speaker 1: can make money and what can get sponsorships. And it's 376 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:49,160 Speaker 1: changed vastly from what an elder millennial like myself knew 377 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,440 Speaker 1: it as to what it is today. But because people 378 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 1: are learning things so fast or getting access to things 379 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 1: so quickly, that etiquette has been kind of lost or 380 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:03,320 Speaker 1: lost in translation perhaps, and it's become a point that 381 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 1: for the gen Z years, and I guess newer millennials. 382 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 1: What are those younger millennials. Baby millennials have seen this 383 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 1: as a norm and don't didn't realize until maybe just 384 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 1: recently as the younger generators who've been on social media 385 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,439 Speaker 1: all of their lives since their birth have started to 386 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,600 Speaker 1: call it out that this was normal and in competition 387 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,920 Speaker 1: and a way of possibly making a living, and it's 388 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:30,880 Speaker 1: just kind of made this whole culture completely different from 389 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 1: what it was even three years ago. Oh my god, 390 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,680 Speaker 1: that's that's such an insightful point. And I do think 391 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 1: it is, like it is not just human nature. It 392 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 1: is a little bit, it's some of it, but it's 393 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 1: also exactly what you said I think. I think it's 394 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:51,639 Speaker 1: algorithmically generated platforms where whatever is extreme or over the 395 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:55,640 Speaker 1: top or whatever gets more attention, and platforms like TikTok 396 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,159 Speaker 1: where that is the currency is like that, that's what 397 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,399 Speaker 1: gets engagement, is that attention, and so you have people, 398 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,160 Speaker 1: so that's that's like its own thing. When you add 399 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 1: in kids to the mix that it just kind of 400 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 1: has the potential to really be so fraught. Like I 401 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,919 Speaker 1: remember it was some YouTuber I don't know her name 402 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: off hand, but she was kind of like quote unquote 403 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:22,720 Speaker 1: canceled because she was known for being like a YouTuber 404 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:27,440 Speaker 1: who showed her family and her family pet passed away, 405 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,640 Speaker 1: and so she was making a YouTube video about how 406 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 1: her family pet passed away, and I guess she accidentally 407 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:39,920 Speaker 1: uploaded the unedited footage where her child was very like, 408 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:45,280 Speaker 1: genuinely authentically upset and crying, and the parent was, rather 409 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,919 Speaker 1: than consoling this child, trying to tell the child to 410 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,560 Speaker 1: contort his face so that it would be really like, 411 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: so it would be like a really extreme picture of 412 00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:00,200 Speaker 1: them crying, because she knew that if you use that 413 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,560 Speaker 1: that image of an extreme close up of like a 414 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,840 Speaker 1: distorted face who's experiencing extreme emotion, if you use that 415 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,639 Speaker 1: for the thumbnail on YouTube, it gets more engagement. If 416 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 1: you ever look at YouTube videos and you're wondering, why 417 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 1: do all the thumbnails have people making really weird over 418 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 1: the top faces that nobody really makes in real life, 419 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,960 Speaker 1: it's because they have figured out that the algorithm rewards 420 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 1: videos that include faces like that. And so while this 421 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 1: child is experiencing a genuine response emotionally to losing their pet, 422 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,159 Speaker 1: mom is like, oh, make sure that you really give 423 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 1: me a good cry face so that my YouTube video 424 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,160 Speaker 1: of back this performs well, and so I think it's 425 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 1: not just our nature as humans, it is also platforms 426 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:45,399 Speaker 1: that are prompting people into behavior that they would not 427 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:49,359 Speaker 1: otherwise probably do if not for the way that platforms 428 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:53,120 Speaker 1: kind of encourage us to do this. Do that makes sense? No, yeah, absolutely, 429 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,439 Speaker 1: I think again, like the squeaky will gets the oil 430 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: type of thing where you see the most dramatic or 431 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,639 Speaker 1: the most over the top. Like one of the things 432 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 1: that's really thriving on TikTok is people calling out other 433 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 1: people for cheating or thinking they're cheating if you're so 434 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,800 Speaker 1: and so I just saw your husband here talking to 435 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 1: this girl, like that's been a big thing and it 436 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,879 Speaker 1: shouldn't be as before. Like there's a part of this 437 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,400 Speaker 1: like yes, let the women know so they can get out, 438 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 1: but it's also purely for entertainment, for the numbers, for 439 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,040 Speaker 1: the likes, and then as we see with these children, 440 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 1: more and more shocking things that people think is okay. 441 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,719 Speaker 1: I know a YouTuber as you were talking about another 442 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 1: YouTuber family, we talked about this recently. Actually in one 443 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,639 Speaker 1: of the episodes you came on, the couple adopted the 444 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,480 Speaker 1: child just for the sake of saying we're good people 445 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 1: and adopted this child. Come on this journey with us. 446 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,200 Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, the child disappeared, and everybody, look, 447 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,439 Speaker 1: what the hell just happened? What did you do to 448 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,200 Speaker 1: this child? And it's the same way as we've seen 449 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:53,800 Speaker 1: several like the couple who did the experiment with their 450 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,640 Speaker 1: two young boys saying, hey, we're gonna say that one 451 00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: of your brothers died, your pretend brother died. Just go 452 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,880 Speaker 1: along with it so we can make money. And this 453 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: was a whole experiment on the kids for entertainment. The 454 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,280 Speaker 1: audience is supposed to know that this is a joke. 455 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,119 Speaker 1: We're just testing the kids. Let's see how the kids react. 456 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:16,200 Speaker 1: And it was so traumatizing to watch these kids pretending 457 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 1: like they're lying, but questioning why they're doing this, and 458 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:22,640 Speaker 1: then having it filmed and everybody saying, what are you doing? 459 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 1: This is so mentally damaging to your child. But you're 460 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,040 Speaker 1: doing this for the sake of TikTok to show what 461 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 1: So the example that you brought up earlier, the family, 462 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: the YouTube family that adopted a child, there they're gonna 463 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,840 Speaker 1: we're gonna return to them. They make a little surprised 464 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:43,679 Speaker 1: guest appearance in this episode. I think you're right. I 465 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 1: think that there is. I honestly think it goes back 466 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 1: to something that you said, Sam. I think it's a 467 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: situation where because the Internet has moved so quickly, like 468 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:58,720 Speaker 1: from where it was when I was updating my MySpace 469 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,720 Speaker 1: profile in my dorm room in college to today, that 470 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 1: wasn't that long I'm old, but I'm not that old, right, 471 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,320 Speaker 1: that wasn't that long ago, And where we were then 472 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,960 Speaker 1: and where we are now are completely different. So it's 473 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,720 Speaker 1: moved so quickly, and I think it's a situation where 474 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,480 Speaker 1: not like the cultural norms around what is and it's 475 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 1: not acceptable, healthy, okay to do a good idea, to 476 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:26,360 Speaker 1: do whatever, those have not kept up with how quickly 477 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 1: the technology has moved, And so we now can film 478 00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 1: our kids inside of our house and quickly uploaded to 479 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 1: TikTok or YouTube and get a million views. Our society 480 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,159 Speaker 1: has perhaps not progressed to a place where it's like 481 00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:41,159 Speaker 1: but should we? And I would argue that our laws 482 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,359 Speaker 1: have also not kept up with that, And so I 483 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,359 Speaker 1: do think there's something about the speed with which the 484 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 1: Internet has changed become so ubiquitous in our lives that 485 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:53,479 Speaker 1: we have not pumped the brakes and allowed for cultural norms, 486 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: societal norms, the law to all catch up to where 487 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,640 Speaker 1: we are right now, and especially the fact that kids 488 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:03,560 Speaker 1: are we absolutely should be taking the time to be 489 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 1: a little bit more introspective and slow down a little bit, 490 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,159 Speaker 1: to have a cultural reset about what is it is 491 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:14,560 Speaker 1: not okay when it comes to filming children for strangers online, right, 492 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,760 Speaker 1: And it kind of always reminds me of the thing 493 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,479 Speaker 1: that I had to tell kids as Snapchat and all 494 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: those different things were existing, again reminding them you may 495 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,919 Speaker 1: think it's not on the internet, but it's on the internet, 496 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:29,560 Speaker 1: so just as a reminder. But also the government is 497 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:34,040 Speaker 1: very quick to use things like this to go after 498 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,919 Speaker 1: the marginalists communities, and that's a whole different conversation, I know, 499 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 1: but having to try to explain to both parents and 500 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,479 Speaker 1: to children like, hey, you posting this picture of your 501 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,960 Speaker 1: half naked child actually can be considered child porn and 502 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 1: you can be arrested on a felony and then being 503 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 1: completely shocked, and then having also letting the kids know, hey, 504 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: you just sending it yourself, even though you're doing it 505 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 1: with your quote unquote consent as a minder, you don't 506 00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 1: have the ability to consent, but is only going after 507 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:05,320 Speaker 1: specific things and specific morality rather than what the root 508 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,520 Speaker 1: of the problem is with the social media. Oh my god, 509 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 1: same I. This is kind of a non sequitur I had, 510 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,880 Speaker 1: but the most like weird conversation with a stranger on 511 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 1: TikTok it was, for whatever reason, I get surfaced a 512 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:22,080 Speaker 1: lot of content about hallucinogens, like hallucinogens drugs. TikTok thinks 513 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 1: I'm very interested in like expanding my mind. And there 514 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 1: was a woman who is a woman look like a 515 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 1: woman of color to me talking about how she enjoys 516 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 1: using mushrooms and it's like, oh, like, come follow me 517 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,080 Speaker 1: from my beautiful day on mushrooms. And it did look 518 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 1: like a beautiful day. Like she's at the beach, she's 519 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:40,080 Speaker 1: like going for a swim. Looks fantastic. Then she goes 520 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,480 Speaker 1: to her car and it's like she's like, oh, I 521 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,719 Speaker 1: had to drive home. And I was like, honey, this 522 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,480 Speaker 1: is a video. You're a woman of color, and this 523 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,080 Speaker 1: is a video of you admitting to a crime. Like 524 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 1: this is not me judging you or me saying this, 525 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 1: but it is me knowing that, Like I've seen people. 526 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 1: I've seen people who are going through like contentious marital 527 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 1: situations to get CPS called on them. Like I've heard 528 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,640 Speaker 1: horror stories of people who just uploaded stuff to the 529 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,760 Speaker 1: Internet without thinking about it, and then they lost a job, 530 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,640 Speaker 1: they lost a scholarship, the courts got involved, and somebody 531 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,640 Speaker 1: else was like, why is that the first thing that 532 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 1: you jumped to when I was like, I understand that, 533 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 1: Like it sucks, and I like, I don't want to 534 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:24,200 Speaker 1: be the person to have to tell you this and 535 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 1: like rain out of your parade from your nice day 536 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,480 Speaker 1: that you were trying to show what the internet, But 537 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,640 Speaker 1: I want to be the person that tells you the truth. 538 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 1: And the truth is that especially for people of color, you, 539 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: I mean, nobody should have be admitting to a crime 540 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,719 Speaker 1: on video. That that's just like end that there. Do 541 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 1: what you're gonna do if you're not hurting anybody whatever, 542 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 1: but like be smart about it, Like, don't don't have 543 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 1: this new era of social media where we don't necessarily 544 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:57,160 Speaker 1: have the cultural norms firmly established anymore, the guardrails, if 545 00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Don't let that false feeling 546 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 1: of freedom make you think that we actually do have 547 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,320 Speaker 1: freedom online, especially if you're a marginalized I would that 548 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 1: is just like a rule of don't admit to crimes 549 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,680 Speaker 1: on the Internet. That's just like, I don't care how 550 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,280 Speaker 1: much engagement it gets you. That's just an overall But 551 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:15,360 Speaker 1: as you're saying for the person who's like, why do 552 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 1: you have to go to that like pessimistic view? And 553 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 1: I know I'm always joking about the fact that I'm pessimistic, 554 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,920 Speaker 1: but the reality is it's really privileged for someone to 555 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 1: not have to even worry about it. That's the problem. 556 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,040 Speaker 1: The problem about this is I have been on this 557 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:31,320 Speaker 1: side of where I see police officers, I see court 558 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:35,400 Speaker 1: systems actually go after specific individuals because they've profiled them 559 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:38,479 Speaker 1: from jump and then find the social media accounts and 560 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,560 Speaker 1: use every bit they can from that because they're profiling 561 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 1: once again. And that I know we use that as 562 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,200 Speaker 1: generalized terms and the bigger picture, but it happens on 563 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 1: social media as well. As well as the fact that 564 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,560 Speaker 1: there was a perfect example of this dude who's really big, 565 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 1: TikToker got really big because he got he was funny. 566 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:58,640 Speaker 1: Everybody loved him. He thought he was just hilarious. He 567 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:01,800 Speaker 1: just cuts into a video and then tells a random 568 00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:05,880 Speaker 1: fact that was his whole thing, And then people found 569 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:10,479 Speaker 1: and dug into his earlier post where he brings his child, 570 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:14,320 Speaker 1: where the child says all this homophobic and racist comments, 571 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:18,520 Speaker 1: which obviously was taught by him, and he's encouraging it, 572 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,560 Speaker 1: and everybody's getting pissed at, both the child and him, 573 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,840 Speaker 1: and this is what he's done, not realizing that he 574 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,239 Speaker 1: was going to blow up. But that's the consequence. It's like, 575 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 1: not only have you ruined your own reputation, you've already 576 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,080 Speaker 1: ruined your child's. Oh my god. And it's like, I 577 00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 1: could only see that as like a parenting fail. If 578 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:41,040 Speaker 1: your kid heard you using slurs and repeated that and 579 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 1: you knew that was behavior that they were exhibiting, that 580 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 1: is one thing. Then being like I should film this 581 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: for the Internet because it's funny, that is I guess 582 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. I'm not being very eloquent about it, 583 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:57,800 Speaker 1: but I do think that we are in this point 584 00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:02,719 Speaker 1: where I don't know that people universally understand that not 585 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 1: every moment is okay to be shared on the Internet. 586 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,280 Speaker 1: And you know, I would hope for that parent in 587 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,000 Speaker 1: that situation to be like, we need to have a 588 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,200 Speaker 1: conversation about what is and it's not okay to say. 589 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,640 Speaker 1: The fact that this parent was like, oh, get the camera, 590 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:16,800 Speaker 1: this is gonna be great, put this on the internet. 591 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:18,680 Speaker 1: That really tells me that I think that we are 592 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 1: in a place where perhaps people are not asking the 593 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,200 Speaker 1: question of should I be filming this? What are the consequences? 594 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,360 Speaker 1: This is is gonna be good for my kid? Like, I 595 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,720 Speaker 1: think that we just need to have a little bit 596 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,560 Speaker 1: more introspection about what we share to the internet for 597 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:35,680 Speaker 1: strangers and absolutely, and again it is this layer of 598 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:39,880 Speaker 1: safety that people think, because they don't see people's reaction, 599 00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:41,719 Speaker 1: they just record it and move on with their day 600 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 1: until the consequences happened, that they're safe to do this. 601 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:47,760 Speaker 1: And maybe they're thinking they're being relatable or maybe they're 602 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 1: trauma bonding with people, which is in itself like why 603 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,320 Speaker 1: are you doing this and it's doing at the expense 604 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 1: of a child, thinking maybe I don't know if it's 605 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,480 Speaker 1: legitimate or if it's a rue saying that I'm just 606 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,680 Speaker 1: trying to teach you. I'm just trying to share our 607 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,000 Speaker 1: you know, our downfalls and I'm trying to be real, 608 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 1: but it's again at the expense of a child's emotions 609 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,960 Speaker 1: and trauma. So that exact thing is the reason why 610 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,319 Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about this, because I had a 611 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,279 Speaker 1: moment where I saw this video on TikTok, and I 612 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:19,719 Speaker 1: have to say, like, I was personally triggered by this, 613 00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: this TikTok that I saw, And it was this video 614 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:28,480 Speaker 1: of a black mom who was washing her black child's 615 00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,400 Speaker 1: like braids, right, and so this so she had a 616 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 1: camera setup where she was holding her child over the 617 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 1: sink to like scrub her scale and this little girl 618 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,279 Speaker 1: was like maybe she's like seven or eight. She is 619 00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:43,160 Speaker 1: bawling her eyes out, she is so upset. Right, And 620 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 1: so I'm a black woman. I have braids now. I 621 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,719 Speaker 1: have braids for most of my life when I was 622 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:52,000 Speaker 1: a kid, Like a lot of black women, my hair 623 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,680 Speaker 1: has been something that is like a complicated thing, like 624 00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:57,160 Speaker 1: a lot of black women have complicated feelings about their hair. 625 00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,840 Speaker 1: And I have many a memory of cr while getting 626 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,799 Speaker 1: my hair done, crying while getting my braids taken, you know, 627 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:07,360 Speaker 1: taken out or put in, And I remember quite viscerally 628 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,959 Speaker 1: what a vulnerable position that I was in in those times. 629 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:14,399 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that like moms shouldn't do their kids 630 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 1: hair if they cry, but I'm saying I remember that 631 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 1: being an emotional experience for me that I was very 632 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,200 Speaker 1: vulnerable in. And I think a lot of black women 633 00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:24,440 Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. And so this child is 634 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,759 Speaker 1: sobbing while this, while this is happening, the mom is 635 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,600 Speaker 1: like everybody, millions of people that are going to see 636 00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,920 Speaker 1: how you're acting right now. And the little kid is like, 637 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:34,600 Speaker 1: what do you mean? And she's like, I'm filming this, 638 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 1: And a little girl starts crying even more, and she's like, 639 00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 1: why are you filming this? And her mom is like, 640 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,879 Speaker 1: I'm filming it for a hair tutorial. And even though 641 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,919 Speaker 1: this is a little kid, she's pretty she's pretty sharp. 642 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 1: She says, why don't you film a hair tutorial on 643 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:50,000 Speaker 1: your own head? And it just broke my like something 644 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,360 Speaker 1: something about watching that video of like I remember what 645 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 1: it was like to be in distress. Now. I'm not 646 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,200 Speaker 1: saying that was like a traumatic experience for her. Kids 647 00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,960 Speaker 1: cry for all kinds of reasons all the time, right, 648 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,440 Speaker 1: we were all kids once, we remember, but she's clearly 649 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,719 Speaker 1: in distress even if it's temporary distress. And so her 650 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,000 Speaker 1: mom talking to the camera in this moment and being 651 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,080 Speaker 1: like millions of people are going to see this in 652 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,840 Speaker 1: the moment really just made me sad. And the mom 653 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,759 Speaker 1: was saying like, oh, well, like in the comments of 654 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,640 Speaker 1: this TikTok, she was saying like, well, I want to 655 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,520 Speaker 1: show other black moms out there how you deal with 656 00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,319 Speaker 1: a stressful hair washed day or and other people who 657 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 1: were supporting her were saying like, maybe she's looking for 658 00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 1: a community of moms and wants to build community in 659 00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:35,799 Speaker 1: solidary young line. I could sort of see that, but ultimately, 660 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,239 Speaker 1: the number one responsibility of a parent should be to 661 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:43,440 Speaker 1: create a safe environment for your kid and all of 662 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,400 Speaker 1: this other stuff like I can understand maybe sort of 663 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,360 Speaker 1: kind of wanting to demonstrate like, oh here's how I 664 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,839 Speaker 1: as a black mom gets through a tough hair washing day, 665 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:56,360 Speaker 1: But those are strangers. Your responsibility when your child is 666 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,120 Speaker 1: in distress is to provide a safe environment for that child. 667 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:03,360 Speaker 1: Who care about these these strangers in your head? But 668 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:07,320 Speaker 1: you are thinking about entertaining or whatever via this content, 669 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,200 Speaker 1: And that's kind of what I'm talking about, Like, how 670 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,160 Speaker 1: we reached a point where folks have kind of forgotten 671 00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:16,520 Speaker 1: that your number one responsibility is to your child and 672 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,600 Speaker 1: to create a safe environment for that child, even if 673 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:23,480 Speaker 1: that means that this community of fictional moms looking for 674 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:39,279 Speaker 1: support might have to get at someplace else, right, And 675 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 1: I know, as you said at the beginning, there hasn't 676 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 1: been a lot of research in this. I know I 677 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:49,239 Speaker 1: read one article about how things like this does a 678 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,240 Speaker 1: road like the trust a kid has and their parents, 679 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:56,080 Speaker 1: because if it's like they can kind of sense, oh, well, 680 00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,680 Speaker 1: they're doing this for some other reason, or there might 681 00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,200 Speaker 1: be a trick behind this, or they might be trying 682 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 1: to manipulate a motion out of me for someone else. 683 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,040 Speaker 1: But also something that I wanted to go back to 684 00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 1: that you wrote about was this idea of feeling like 685 00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:12,400 Speaker 1: there's an invisible audience. Yeah, this I found miss fascinating. 686 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,239 Speaker 1: So Lindsay Cooley, the licensed clinical child psychologist that spoke 687 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,719 Speaker 1: Tom Morgan sung at NBC. Coolly said that adults whose 688 00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,520 Speaker 1: formative years were shared online may never grow out of 689 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:26,120 Speaker 1: experiencing what she described as the invisible audience. Basically, we've 690 00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,799 Speaker 1: all kind of probably felt that the invisible audience is 691 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,160 Speaker 1: this kind of adolescent ideal that everybody is paying attention 692 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:35,200 Speaker 1: to you and like scrutinizing your behavior at all times. Now, 693 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,560 Speaker 1: most of us probably felt that way at one time 694 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,239 Speaker 1: or another in our lives, but we usually grow out 695 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,800 Speaker 1: of it as we mature and become more self aware 696 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:47,239 Speaker 1: and get a deeper sense of self. Lindsay Cooley says 697 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,480 Speaker 1: that kids who are always being filmed for content might 698 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,720 Speaker 1: have a harder time breaking out of that mindset because 699 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,480 Speaker 1: they essentially grew up on a stage. They grew up 700 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,080 Speaker 1: knowing that they had to perform and turn it on 701 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:02,680 Speaker 1: and so that is your everyday lived experience. You might 702 00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,480 Speaker 1: have a much harder time growing out of that phase 703 00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:07,520 Speaker 1: when you think that everybody's looking at you, when you 704 00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,239 Speaker 1: are feeling like everybody is scrutinizing you and feeling like 705 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,520 Speaker 1: you're being perceived with eyes on you all the time. 706 00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,560 Speaker 1: And really I can kind of understand that, like I 707 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:19,960 Speaker 1: can understand why four kids who are constantly on the 708 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,279 Speaker 1: stage of the Internet, why that would then be a 709 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,440 Speaker 1: hard thing to kind of break out of. Yeah, and 710 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:29,279 Speaker 1: that's another issue here is the issue of privacy. And 711 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:33,640 Speaker 1: as we also mentioned at the top, these parasocial relationships 712 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:40,480 Speaker 1: that people can form with children who again probably never 713 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,719 Speaker 1: consented to any of this, right, Yeah, that's something that 714 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:49,080 Speaker 1: I find really interesting, I guess I'll say, is this 715 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,480 Speaker 1: the way that adults on the internet can form these 716 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,640 Speaker 1: parasocial relationships with kids they don't even know, you know, 717 00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,560 Speaker 1: And I'm the one ahead. I kind of get it, right, 718 00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:01,080 Speaker 1: Like they've been let in on these very intimate relationships 719 00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 1: with these kids, and so I can understand forming a bond, right, 720 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,799 Speaker 1: and how that line of what is it is not 721 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,799 Speaker 1: appropriate and what you are and are not entitled to 722 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:14,040 Speaker 1: can become blurred. There was this mom influencer on TikTok 723 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,920 Speaker 1: recently who decided that she was going to stop showing 724 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,920 Speaker 1: her kids on social media after sort of providing quite 725 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,680 Speaker 1: a bit of content solely about her kids. And her 726 00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,400 Speaker 1: followers were upset, But they weren't just like they weren't 727 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,839 Speaker 1: like cool as your kids do what you feel as best. 728 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,520 Speaker 1: They were not happy about that, and they felt really 729 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:34,680 Speaker 1: entitled to see and interact with these kids they don't 730 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:36,920 Speaker 1: even know, right, And so I remember this was around 731 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,880 Speaker 1: Christmas time when this influencer announced that, and one of 732 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,719 Speaker 1: her followers made a video that was like, can we 733 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,279 Speaker 1: at least see the children for Christmas, like I just 734 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,920 Speaker 1: want to see them for Christmas, and how they could 735 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:51,799 Speaker 1: not accept that they were not going to be able 736 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,799 Speaker 1: to see and interact with kids that they didn't know. 737 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,560 Speaker 1: And it might I don't feel like all of these 738 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:59,520 Speaker 1: people have bad intentions or anything, but it is absolutely 739 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:03,120 Speaker 1: not for an adult stranger to feel entitled to see 740 00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:06,920 Speaker 1: kids that they don't even know. Like, that's just not healthy, 741 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:08,960 Speaker 1: you know. Of course I have to go real dark 742 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,319 Speaker 1: with it, as you're being very kind and be like 743 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,520 Speaker 1: these are not They just really like these kids and 744 00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:17,840 Speaker 1: they think the relationship is adorable. But here's the prime 745 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:22,439 Speaker 1: example of where we can talk about grooming and what 746 00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:28,400 Speaker 1: happens when these relationships or these young kids become sexualized 747 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,160 Speaker 1: by the audience or by the followers and not necessarily 748 00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:34,840 Speaker 1: being done by the parents. That they may be completely 749 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,200 Speaker 1: innocent of it, thinking that they're playing cute little dress 750 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:40,919 Speaker 1: up matching mommy type of look, which is often a thing, 751 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 1: but this becomes a real dangerous road of grooming and 752 00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:49,440 Speaker 1: a sexualization of young children. Just I know there was 753 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:55,279 Speaker 1: one specific woman who went through a young girl's accounts, 754 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,040 Speaker 1: meaning they were probably really young, maybe with a parent 755 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:01,319 Speaker 1: showing what kind of followers these accounts had, and they 756 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:05,040 Speaker 1: are typically form a more examples like Middle Asian men 757 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,000 Speaker 1: commenting about how beautiful they are and how all these 758 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 1: things are, like how good they looked in this outfit 759 00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,520 Speaker 1: or all these things, and how concerning it is that 760 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:16,920 Speaker 1: the parents aren't realizing that compliment is not cute. It's 761 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,120 Speaker 1: not a cute compliment and you shouldn't sit there and 762 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,520 Speaker 1: like them and say thanks for supporting my child, which 763 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:26,279 Speaker 1: just been the response. And it is so dangerous when 764 00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:30,040 Speaker 1: you see that this is becoming normal exactly. So, I 765 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:31,640 Speaker 1: do think that there are people out there that are 766 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,920 Speaker 1: just like, oh, I just love this baby, and I 767 00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:37,560 Speaker 1: have slipped into an unhealthy fixation on this baby. Perhaps 768 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:42,000 Speaker 1: not badly intentioned, yes, but you are so right that 769 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,799 Speaker 1: that that there are people for whom they do have 770 00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:48,840 Speaker 1: bad intentions. And it is about sexualization and greaming and 771 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,319 Speaker 1: it's gross like it like I'm what I want to 772 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,040 Speaker 1: talk about today is like just the tip of the 773 00:42:55,080 --> 00:43:00,439 Speaker 1: iceberg with how dangerous and gross this stuff can because 774 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,760 Speaker 1: truly it's just like very dark. There is a trend 775 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:08,000 Speaker 1: called role playing, no not Dungeons and Dragons, role playing 776 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:11,520 Speaker 1: like that this is what people Annie and I bet 777 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:15,800 Speaker 1: you were like. So this is a this is a 778 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,400 Speaker 1: trend that I actually had not heard of until I 779 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,200 Speaker 1: researched for this episode, where people on the internet will 780 00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:23,640 Speaker 1: steal photos of other people from social media and make 781 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,480 Speaker 1: new fake accounts of these people with like made up 782 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:32,200 Speaker 1: stories and identities. Now, sometimes this can be like mostly harmless, 783 00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,640 Speaker 1: other than the fact that, like, it's not cool to 784 00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:37,680 Speaker 1: be taking pictures of kids from the internet, but like, 785 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:41,399 Speaker 1: some people are doing this just and it's not it's 786 00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:45,200 Speaker 1: not necessarily harmful. But in other cases, some of the 787 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:49,440 Speaker 1: backstories and like fictional situations involving the identity of children 788 00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:52,600 Speaker 1: and the pictures that they are using are sexual. And 789 00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:56,640 Speaker 1: so there's this influencer Katie Rose Pritchard. She told Good 790 00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,120 Speaker 1: Morning America that one day that she discovered all these 791 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,960 Speaker 1: social media account made for each one of her kids, 792 00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,319 Speaker 1: but they were actually strangers pretending to be her, like 793 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:09,960 Speaker 1: very young toddler children typing in like baby voice in 794 00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:13,040 Speaker 1: camptions on Instagram. She told Good Mortoring America that she 795 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:16,000 Speaker 1: noticed that among these role playing posts on social media, 796 00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:20,160 Speaker 1: they used hashtags like kid RP or baby RP to 797 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,120 Speaker 1: indicate that's what it is, and that there's like a 798 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,759 Speaker 1: massive community of people doing this, some of whom are 799 00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:34,600 Speaker 1: describing obviously sexualized fictional situations involving her toddlers, and probably unsurprising, 800 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:38,600 Speaker 1: she was enraged and horrified, and I think, you know, 801 00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:42,440 Speaker 1: there's so many different avenues to this, but one is 802 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:46,440 Speaker 1: that it's obviously a social media platform accountability issue. Katie 803 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,840 Speaker 1: Rose pritchards that she reached out to Instagram to have 804 00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:52,479 Speaker 1: this content taken down, and that at first Instagram told 805 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:56,040 Speaker 1: her that people making fake accounts of her kids and 806 00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:59,480 Speaker 1: putting them in these sexual fictional situations was not against 807 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,600 Speaker 1: their community guidelines, but eventually she just kept having her 808 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:06,160 Speaker 1: followers report the content and Instagram did eventually take it down. 809 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,640 Speaker 1: So she decided that she was going to stop posting 810 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:12,160 Speaker 1: pictures of her kids on social media, even though she 811 00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:15,440 Speaker 1: was an influencer and this had resulted in brand deals 812 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,600 Speaker 1: and partnerships and all of that, but that it just 813 00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,440 Speaker 1: wasn't worth it, because she was like, even though Instagram 814 00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,600 Speaker 1: eventually did the right thing and took these pictures of 815 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,960 Speaker 1: my kids down, who knows where they could be. She's like, 816 00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:29,279 Speaker 1: I'll never know how far their pictures traveled what dark 817 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:32,839 Speaker 1: corners of the Internet her kids images are on and 818 00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,839 Speaker 1: that is really scary. Yeah, And you know, just to 819 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,440 Speaker 1: add a wrench in this whole thing is with the 820 00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:43,640 Speaker 1: ideas of deep fakes and AI technology which takes straight 821 00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:47,240 Speaker 1: from content from the Internet. There are so many disturbing 822 00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:49,960 Speaker 1: things that's out there just knowing half of that and 823 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:52,560 Speaker 1: that being faked and what it's being used for. And 824 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:56,759 Speaker 1: again there's no loss to truly stop this. This is 825 00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:00,359 Speaker 1: kind of like the freedom of speech. As long as 826 00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,840 Speaker 1: you're not violating that child and you're doing images that 827 00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,719 Speaker 1: resemble and say this is not truly done. All you 828 00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:08,839 Speaker 1: have to do is alter something, and it can't. They 829 00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,279 Speaker 1: can escape the log because there is no law for it. 830 00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,480 Speaker 1: And with the realization that once you put it on 831 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,120 Speaker 1: the Internet, there's no ownership two ownership, as much as 832 00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:18,640 Speaker 1: you would like to think there is, there's no true 833 00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,799 Speaker 1: ownership to the content that you are posting. Yeah, to 834 00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:26,320 Speaker 1: your point about deep fakes, mom Uncharted on her TikTok 835 00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:30,200 Speaker 1: has talked about again it's so dark that I hate 836 00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,200 Speaker 1: to even go there. But like there are marketplaces for 837 00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,960 Speaker 1: deep fakes. People have been like, here's an image of 838 00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:41,520 Speaker 1: a person, not always an adult. Sometimes it's a child 839 00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:45,120 Speaker 1: I would like to see digitally manipulated, like AI generated 840 00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:49,480 Speaker 1: images of this child in sexual situations. That is a 841 00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,280 Speaker 1: thing that happens. And I know that it is dark. 842 00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,560 Speaker 1: And it's like, on the one hand, you feel awful 843 00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:57,879 Speaker 1: when someone's like posting a cute picture of their kid 844 00:46:57,920 --> 00:46:59,719 Speaker 1: being I'm like, well, did you know that this could out? 845 00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,279 Speaker 1: Why but on marketplace on the dark side of the Internet. 846 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:06,279 Speaker 1: But I have to say the truth. It's like, it's like, 847 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:09,200 Speaker 1: what is happening? And I think it's a reason why 848 00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:14,000 Speaker 1: more and more influencers are and people in general are 849 00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,319 Speaker 1: keeping their kids off of the Internet. Like I don't 850 00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:17,960 Speaker 1: have kids, but if I was a parent, I don't 851 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,160 Speaker 1: think I would put my kids on social media. I 852 00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:24,040 Speaker 1: just I think that with all that I now know, 853 00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:25,920 Speaker 1: and I didn't always know this, I know this from 854 00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:31,360 Speaker 1: research from now that I know all the different really 855 00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:35,480 Speaker 1: dark up gross corners of the Internet out there, I 856 00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:39,920 Speaker 1: just feel like it would be a safer bet to not, Like, 857 00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:43,200 Speaker 1: I don't know what it would give me to introduce 858 00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:46,200 Speaker 1: that into my kid's life. And this, you know, this 859 00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:49,040 Speaker 1: is a growing thing these days. The influencer that I 860 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,319 Speaker 1: was just talking about, she wrote on Instagram. I can 861 00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,600 Speaker 1: be angry at Instagram all day long and nothing will 862 00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:56,520 Speaker 1: change until we change. Instagram is not to blame for 863 00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:59,480 Speaker 1: the exploitation of my children. I am. They have no 864 00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,480 Speaker 1: response ability and usually come back with we have no 865 00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:06,479 Speaker 1: control over what our users posts. They simply do not care. 866 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:13,120 Speaker 1: And it's I think that Instagram is really abdigating responsibility here. 867 00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:15,520 Speaker 1: But on the other hand, Katie is not wrong about 868 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:19,440 Speaker 1: this that like it really, if platforms aren't going to 869 00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:23,760 Speaker 1: do anything to keep young people safe online, they should 870 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,359 Speaker 1: an absence of them being leaders and doing what they're 871 00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,000 Speaker 1: supposed to be doing to keep kids safe, we have 872 00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,400 Speaker 1: no choice but to act. And I know that that 873 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,120 Speaker 1: is like it should not be that way. But if 874 00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:37,720 Speaker 1: platforms are going to allow but kind of dark stuff 875 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,839 Speaker 1: involving kids that they do allow, we have to be 876 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:43,759 Speaker 1: the ones who are making good decisions to keep our 877 00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:45,920 Speaker 1: kids safe. Right Well, obviously, as you said at the 878 00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:50,080 Speaker 1: very beginning, as a parent, your first responsibility is the 879 00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:53,200 Speaker 1: safety of your child. It should be, and that's that's 880 00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:56,399 Speaker 1: kind of the intent to begin with. And so even 881 00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:59,160 Speaker 1: though yes, you may not be doing any of these 882 00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:02,960 Speaker 1: dark and coable things. You're like, I've I keep talking 883 00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:06,640 Speaker 1: about it, but like I have had nightmares of the 884 00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:10,600 Speaker 1: darkness that happens to children, unfortunately, because of the things 885 00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:13,399 Speaker 1: that I have witnessed personally, Like, that's just a thing 886 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:16,960 Speaker 1: that will always be ingrained in my head. It's terrifying, 887 00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,400 Speaker 1: it's awful, and I hate that that's a part of 888 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:22,319 Speaker 1: my psyche and that that's part of the thing that 889 00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:26,120 Speaker 1: I share with people. But it is really naive to 890 00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:31,400 Speaker 1: believe that everything is sunshine and puppy dogs, because I 891 00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:33,640 Speaker 1: would love that, that would be amazing. That's why I 892 00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:37,080 Speaker 1: can't watch dark things because I don't want a little 893 00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:39,799 Speaker 1: in that world. But I've seen it, and you know, 894 00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:42,680 Speaker 1: as you've researched more things, it gets uglier and uglier. 895 00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:46,920 Speaker 1: And as Instagram should be held responsible for some things, 896 00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:50,520 Speaker 1: it is also again the parents' responsibility at the very 897 00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:56,040 Speaker 1: jump for to protect a child. And unlike it sounds 898 00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:59,440 Speaker 1: like this one influencer did an amazing job and trying 899 00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,200 Speaker 1: to back track because you don't think about that. It's 900 00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,120 Speaker 1: an amazing it's a great thing to not have to 901 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,120 Speaker 1: think about that, but to win your face with it, 902 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,080 Speaker 1: to realize you need to do some damage control, but 903 00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:11,440 Speaker 1: there's those out there who as long as they get 904 00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:13,759 Speaker 1: the money, as dark as that seems, it doesn't seem 905 00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,000 Speaker 1: to care, and there's no law to protect the children, 906 00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:20,280 Speaker 1: it seems exactly. So this is something that really bombs 907 00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:22,520 Speaker 1: me out, grosses me out because you might be thinking, like, 908 00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:25,920 Speaker 1: surely parents are not knowingly making money off of their 909 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:29,520 Speaker 1: kids content being served up to adult creeps. But I'm 910 00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:31,600 Speaker 1: sorry to report that that is what is happening with 911 00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:35,439 Speaker 1: some of these like mom run accounts. Sarah of Mom 912 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:37,600 Speaker 1: and Charged told me that she sees these mom run 913 00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:41,320 Speaker 1: accounts of young girls as sensibly a platform to share 914 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:45,920 Speaker 1: their daughters like modeling pictures or like gymnastics pictures. But 915 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,560 Speaker 1: when you click in, as you were saying, the people 916 00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:52,319 Speaker 1: who are following that page are grown men. The people 917 00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:55,319 Speaker 1: who are saving the images. So if you post something 918 00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,880 Speaker 1: on TikTok or post something on Instagram so you can 919 00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:00,520 Speaker 1: see who saves it, the people saving that are grown men. 920 00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:04,280 Speaker 1: And when you click into these profiles of the people following, 921 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:08,040 Speaker 1: oftentimes it's like not it doesn't take you know, a 922 00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:10,640 Speaker 1: detective to see like, Okay, this is an image of 923 00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:14,520 Speaker 1: a grown man. Who are they following accounts like hot 924 00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:17,040 Speaker 1: young bikini girls things like that, like it's pretty clear 925 00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:20,000 Speaker 1: what's going on. And then these men will leave comments 926 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,239 Speaker 1: on pictures of their kids that are like wow, what 927 00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:25,480 Speaker 1: a hot picture, and mom will go in and like 928 00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,200 Speaker 1: that comment, right, And so it's sort of this weird 929 00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,520 Speaker 1: thing where it's done under this kind of like plausible 930 00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:33,319 Speaker 1: deniability of like, oh, it's just a modeling page, like 931 00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:37,319 Speaker 1: you're the one sexualizing my kid, but come on, like 932 00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:41,120 Speaker 1: you you know what this is. I've even seen some 933 00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:45,920 Speaker 1: of these accounts go so far as to sell images 934 00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,160 Speaker 1: of like you want to buy a photo set of 935 00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:51,760 Speaker 1: my daughter's gymnastic pictures, or even by their used clothing, 936 00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:55,359 Speaker 1: like we know, like we all see what's happening. They 937 00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:58,600 Speaker 1: can they can hide behind this is a modeling thing, 938 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,920 Speaker 1: you know, this is you know whatever, it's clear what's 939 00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:05,319 Speaker 1: going on. You are making money from exploiting your kid, 940 00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,279 Speaker 1: and that is just what's happening. I think at the 941 00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,680 Speaker 1: very least, let's just call it what it is. Don't 942 00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:14,839 Speaker 1: dance around it, don't use this plausible deniability. Everyone knows 943 00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:30,760 Speaker 1: what's going on. Cut the crap, you know. We recently 944 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:32,759 Speaker 1: did an episode on YouTube and this is a very 945 00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:37,880 Speaker 1: similar situation happening where there are videos of young kids, 946 00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:41,920 Speaker 1: mostly young girls, and getting several comments like this from 947 00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:48,720 Speaker 1: grown men. And as we've been alluding to this whole time, 948 00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:55,880 Speaker 1: there aren't specific laws in place to protect kids from this. Correct, 949 00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:58,839 Speaker 1: that's right, and so when you think about it, it's 950 00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,799 Speaker 1: kind of weird. There's not right. Like when it comes 951 00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:04,680 Speaker 1: to kids making money off of their labor. We have 952 00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:07,399 Speaker 1: all kinds of rules and policies and regulations in place 953 00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,960 Speaker 1: here in the United States. You know, media companies that 954 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:13,760 Speaker 1: work with kids for like films or commercials or modeling 955 00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:16,759 Speaker 1: or whatever, they have very strict labor laws like I 956 00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:19,400 Speaker 1: used to do, like child modeling and child acting when 957 00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:22,560 Speaker 1: I was a kid. Like they have very very specific 958 00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:27,440 Speaker 1: labor laws. But the Fair Labor Standards Act, a nineteen 959 00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:31,000 Speaker 1: thirty eight law that addresses excessive child labor, and the 960 00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:34,800 Speaker 1: California Coogan Act, which protects child actors. Neither of those 961 00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:39,200 Speaker 1: have been updated to include children online, like the children 962 00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,960 Speaker 1: of influencers, children who are being used as content. And 963 00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:45,879 Speaker 1: so it is definitely a situation where our technology has 964 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:49,000 Speaker 1: advanced quicker than our laws have because they're currently zero 965 00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:51,600 Speaker 1: laws that in the United States that regulate how children 966 00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,480 Speaker 1: work on social media and how they can appear in 967 00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:58,240 Speaker 1: ads on social media that generate money, but that actually 968 00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:01,600 Speaker 1: might be changing soon. Organ Sung reported that an eighteen 969 00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:05,320 Speaker 1: year old college student named Chris McCarty wanted to advocate 970 00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:08,719 Speaker 1: for kids rights to privacy after learning about that influencer 971 00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:11,759 Speaker 1: Mica Stelfer, the one who you might recall we were 972 00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:15,000 Speaker 1: just talking about, she wanted to adopt a special needs child. 973 00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:20,520 Speaker 1: She did adopt that child, extensively shared intimate content about 974 00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:24,279 Speaker 1: the health needs of her adoptive child before deciding that 975 00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:27,960 Speaker 1: those medical needs were too much and having him quote rehomed. 976 00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:31,440 Speaker 1: As she put it, well, that inspired Chris McCarty to 977 00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:35,600 Speaker 1: start advocating for the way that kids are used online 978 00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,480 Speaker 1: and like advocating for protections for these kids. McCarty started 979 00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:41,480 Speaker 1: the site Quit Clicking Kids, which is described as an 980 00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:44,440 Speaker 1: advocacy and education site to combat the monetization of children 981 00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:47,160 Speaker 1: on social media. And when Chris was a senior, they 982 00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:50,200 Speaker 1: cold emailed like a bunch of lawmakers and eventually ended 983 00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:54,000 Speaker 1: up working with Representative Emily Wis to craft HB sixteen 984 00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:57,160 Speaker 1: twenty seven, which is a bill that would protect quote 985 00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:00,360 Speaker 1: the interests of minor children featured on for profit family 986 00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:03,919 Speaker 1: vlogs by requiring the parents of kid influencers to set 987 00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:06,840 Speaker 1: aside part of that revenue from their content into a 988 00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:09,680 Speaker 1: separate fund so that their kids can access them into adulthood. 989 00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,400 Speaker 1: And it would also grant the children of influencers the 990 00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:15,720 Speaker 1: right to request the permanent deletion of their likenesses, names, 991 00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,719 Speaker 1: or photos from any Internet platform or network that provided 992 00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:22,880 Speaker 1: compensation to the individual's parent or parents in exchange for 993 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:27,560 Speaker 1: that content, and so platforms under this new legislation, platforms 994 00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,680 Speaker 1: would have to take reasonable steps to permanently delete video 995 00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,479 Speaker 1: segments of such children. That was one of the things 996 00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:36,200 Speaker 1: that like in researching for this episode and reading the 997 00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:41,520 Speaker 1: accounts of young people who were the used solely, like 998 00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:44,120 Speaker 1: they were the sole focus of their parents content. One 999 00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:46,680 Speaker 1: of the things that they say is I can't delete 1000 00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:48,439 Speaker 1: it from me. I had no choice in the matter. 1001 00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:50,839 Speaker 1: I was not able to consent. And now when you 1002 00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:54,359 Speaker 1: google my name, all this stuff, intimate stuff comes up 1003 00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:57,760 Speaker 1: about me, intimate stuff about my health, my body, my life, 1004 00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:00,480 Speaker 1: all comes up, and there is no way to remove it. 1005 00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:03,600 Speaker 1: And so I don't know how this legislation will shake out. 1006 00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:07,279 Speaker 1: I'll keep you posted. But I do think it's it's 1007 00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:11,000 Speaker 1: time that we really had our laws and our norms 1008 00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:14,000 Speaker 1: catch up with where we are technologically. And I think, 1009 00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:17,799 Speaker 1: you know, I think I think it's time. You would 1010 00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:20,320 Speaker 1: think that we would have learned through the child actors stuff, 1011 00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:24,760 Speaker 1: all the young actresses that had either that money stolen 1012 00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:26,840 Speaker 1: or gone through so much abuse, all those things that 1013 00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:29,719 Speaker 1: you would you would have thought, yeah, we would learn 1014 00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:33,719 Speaker 1: from those mistakes because some of these young kids making 1015 00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,359 Speaker 1: multi millions of dollars, so that you would think that 1016 00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:38,680 Speaker 1: with that kind of revenue, which is which is rare, 1017 00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,000 Speaker 1: But those are the ones who arguing the money, are 1018 00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:43,960 Speaker 1: the younger kids at this point in time, that we 1019 00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:48,840 Speaker 1: would actually found a way by now that would protect 1020 00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:52,319 Speaker 1: these kids, because inevitably they're the ones who kind of 1021 00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:55,600 Speaker 1: bring it to bring it to as it is, like 1022 00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:57,880 Speaker 1: we're not. It's not the older people who are creating 1023 00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:01,800 Speaker 1: these new things and new new trends and new ways 1024 00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:05,719 Speaker 1: of communicating, as the younger kids who are doing this 1025 00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:09,360 Speaker 1: and learning how to do it better and or being 1026 00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:12,200 Speaker 1: used for it like it's one of those things. They're 1027 00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:14,560 Speaker 1: like it should be for them, So why wouldn't it 1028 00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:18,600 Speaker 1: are automatically protect them exactly. Like I love cute kids 1029 00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,560 Speaker 1: on the Internet as much as anybody else in a 1030 00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:22,960 Speaker 1: healthy way. But like corn Kid, I don't know if 1031 00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,640 Speaker 1: you guys remember corn Kid. He was this like adorable 1032 00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:28,120 Speaker 1: little kid who was interviewed at a state fair eating 1033 00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:30,800 Speaker 1: corn and he was like when I had it with butter, 1034 00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:33,760 Speaker 1: everything changed and he was like an overnight sensation. And 1035 00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:35,919 Speaker 1: I remember thinking like, oh, what happened to corn Kid? 1036 00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:40,000 Speaker 1: How's he doing? And Corn Kid is quote retired, and 1037 00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:43,600 Speaker 1: I just loved that, you know, somebody in his life 1038 00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:48,120 Speaker 1: was like, hey, this we've had this overnight unexpected viral fame, 1039 00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:51,400 Speaker 1: but you could retire. You know, this doesn't have to 1040 00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:54,560 Speaker 1: be something that you, you know, do, This doesn't have 1041 00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:55,840 Speaker 1: to be something I think I think I did say 1042 00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:57,920 Speaker 1: that he was on cameo, But this doesn't have to 1043 00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:01,880 Speaker 1: be something that you, you know, make your entire identity 1044 00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:04,160 Speaker 1: and you're just a kid, you don't you don't have to, 1045 00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:08,600 Speaker 1: you know, decide to go into internet social media stardom, 1046 00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:12,320 Speaker 1: entertaining strangers because you had this one viral moment. And 1047 00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:13,960 Speaker 1: so I really that really heartened me to see that 1048 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:17,360 Speaker 1: somebody in his life gave him the space and the 1049 00:58:17,440 --> 00:58:19,919 Speaker 1: language of being like, oh yeah, I'm retired as corn 1050 00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:24,480 Speaker 1: kid to make a choice for himself and protect his 1051 00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,800 Speaker 1: protect his identity a little bit, protect protect his peace, 1052 00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:30,160 Speaker 1: because I do think, like, yeah, the Internet is forever, 1053 00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:34,880 Speaker 1: and I really feel for these kids who don't get 1054 00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:41,360 Speaker 1: a choice in becoming these Internet stars and have to 1055 00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:43,200 Speaker 1: live with it for life. And I think, you know, 1056 00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:45,320 Speaker 1: I do think the tide is turning a little bit. 1057 00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:47,840 Speaker 1: I think that we're seeing more and more one more 1058 00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,960 Speaker 1: and more children who were used in this way as 1059 00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:54,160 Speaker 1: content speaking up about what that experience was like for them. 1060 00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:57,120 Speaker 1: And I think we're seeing more and more influencers stop 1061 00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:59,600 Speaker 1: showing their kids on social media or do so in 1062 00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:02,400 Speaker 1: ways we're a little bit more thoughtful. Right, So you'll 1063 00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:05,680 Speaker 1: see influencers not showing their kids face or including their 1064 00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:08,000 Speaker 1: kids in their content, but just showing their hands at 1065 00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:10,000 Speaker 1: the back of their head, so that it's not just 1066 00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:17,000 Speaker 1: you know, performing on command for the entertainment and monetization 1067 00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:21,480 Speaker 1: of your platform. Right. And you know, I think people 1068 00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:25,080 Speaker 1: took a page out of these big celebrities who realize 1069 00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:27,120 Speaker 1: who lived in the limelight. We're like, we're not putting 1070 00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:30,880 Speaker 1: our children through that and go through everything to try 1071 00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,680 Speaker 1: to cover at least like protect their identities. And I've 1072 00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:36,960 Speaker 1: done so much better recently, I mean not some, but 1073 00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:39,600 Speaker 1: you know, and then they're learning this could be really damaging, 1074 00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:42,200 Speaker 1: like you said, and that core and kid so cute. 1075 00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:45,520 Speaker 1: He literally I think they asked him much later after 1076 00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:48,200 Speaker 1: everything we viral, like what do your friends think of that? 1077 00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:50,000 Speaker 1: And they're like, my friends don't know. They don't know 1078 00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:52,520 Speaker 1: anything about this because the parents did such a great 1079 00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:55,840 Speaker 1: job in keeping them isolated away from all of that 1080 00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:58,320 Speaker 1: because they didn't want him to be scrutinized, made fun 1081 00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:00,160 Speaker 1: of or any of that. Because so many any of 1082 01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:01,720 Speaker 1: them because he kind of I guess is it a 1083 01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:05,400 Speaker 1: mame was the amazing I guess maybe eventually became that 1084 01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:08,200 Speaker 1: that so many of those goods who were gifts or 1085 01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:12,720 Speaker 1: memes were really humiliated as adults. Yeah, Like I think 1086 01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:17,160 Speaker 1: it was BuzzFeed doing a series of what happened after 1087 01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:20,040 Speaker 1: these people became memes. They actually have a really good one. 1088 01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,400 Speaker 1: If you remember the girl this is gonna maybe date 1089 01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:24,120 Speaker 1: me and people who are younger gonna be like, what 1090 01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:26,840 Speaker 1: are you talking about? The girl who was photographed with 1091 01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:31,920 Speaker 1: pigtails and a headgear, holding goosebumps books, if you if 1092 01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:35,919 Speaker 1: she is a very her story is very fascinating. But yeah, 1093 01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:39,680 Speaker 1: it's like these these people that we see on the Internet, 1094 01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:42,120 Speaker 1: and because we're engaging with them through a screen, we 1095 01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:44,360 Speaker 1: can kind of forget that they're real people who have 1096 01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:46,800 Speaker 1: to go on to live real lives in the real world, 1097 01:00:46,880 --> 01:00:49,960 Speaker 1: or they don't just exist frozen in time in this 1098 01:00:50,080 --> 01:01:00,480 Speaker 1: meme where we first encountered them. They are real people. Yeah, her, Well, 1099 01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:03,960 Speaker 1: as always, this has been so informative, Bridget, thanks for 1100 01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:07,200 Speaker 1: bringing it to our attention. Thanks for making the time 1101 01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:09,840 Speaker 1: to come on, and I'm sure we'll update on this 1102 01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:12,240 Speaker 1: one because clearly we all have a lot of thoughts 1103 01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:17,080 Speaker 1: about this, so would love to come back to this one. Well, 1104 01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:19,920 Speaker 1: where can the good listeners find you? Well, you can 1105 01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:22,400 Speaker 1: find me over at my own podcast. There are no 1106 01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:24,320 Speaker 1: girls on the Internet. The episode that we did with 1107 01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:27,320 Speaker 1: mom uncharted super interesting. She's just a really interesting person. 1108 01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:29,640 Speaker 1: I would definitely recommend checking it out. Can follow me 1109 01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:33,000 Speaker 1: on Twitter at Bridget Marie, on Instagram at Bridget Marie 1110 01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:36,720 Speaker 1: in DC, or on TikTok at Bridget Mixed Podcasts. Yes, 1111 01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:40,840 Speaker 1: love it, love it go check all of those things 1112 01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:44,600 Speaker 1: out if you haven't already, listeners, and yes, thank you again, 1113 01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:48,600 Speaker 1: Bridget can't wait to do this again next month. Update 1114 01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,320 Speaker 1: on the food as well. Yeah, maybe we'll do it 1115 01:01:50,360 --> 01:01:54,520 Speaker 1: from Mexico City, but you all come visit. Oh I 1116 01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:57,880 Speaker 1: would love it. I just heard an invitation. I'm coming. 1117 01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:02,480 Speaker 1: The bags are getting backed, the bags are getting parted 1118 01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:07,520 Speaker 1: in Mexico. Oh, I can't wait. Well, Listeners, If you 1119 01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:09,640 Speaker 1: would like to contact us that you can our emails, 1120 01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:12,280 Speaker 1: stuff mediamil, stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find 1121 01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:15,600 Speaker 1: us on Twitter at Months of Podcast or Instagram and 1122 01:02:16,080 --> 01:02:18,720 Speaker 1: TikTok at stuff I Ever told You. Thanks as always 1123 01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:22,080 Speaker 1: to our super producer Christina the best, the best, and 1124 01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:23,920 Speaker 1: thanks to you for listening. Stuff one Ever told You. 1125 01:02:23,920 --> 01:02:26,160 Speaker 1: Subrotection I Heart Radio for more podcast In my Heart Radio, 1126 01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:28,160 Speaker 1: you can check out the radio ap Apple podcast wherever 1127 01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:29,400 Speaker 1: you listen to favorite shows