WEBVTT - Fertility Fixer Upper 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:21.680 Hey, hey, Hey, I'm back and I'm black and brown. 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:24.319 Okay, Mandy, Hey, hey to. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:26.759 How are you? 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:27.960 How are you doing? 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:29.160 Uh? 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:31.760 I'm okay. I have been I feel like kind of 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:32.520 homeless lately. 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:34.199 I was at it. 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:37.800 I went to a conference in Austin, Texas Wednesday through Friday, 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:40.879 and then I flew to the A which was a 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:42.599 secret until I just said it out loud right now. 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:44.080 You know how when you go to your hometown and 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:46.080 you live where you work, but you go to your 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:47.800 hotown and you like, don't tell anyone you're going to 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:50.479 be there because you don't want to be bombarded. I 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:53.519 snuck in like a ninja to Atlanta, and then I 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:57.560 was at my alma mater, University of Georgia, today, where 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:01.040 I was talking to the kids about business journalist and podcasting, 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:04.399 which was perfect. I talked all about brown ambition and 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:06.760 inspired the use. I think I basically told them that 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.080 we can do it. Anybody can do a podcast. So 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:11.640 I'm in Athens, Georgia now, and I have to head 0:01:11.640 --> 0:01:13.360 back to Atlanta and then I fly back to New 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:15.759 York tomorrow. And I still don't have a home because 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:18.000 mine's being ripped apart right now so I feel a 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:18.680 little funky. 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.959 Well I am saying, I get well, not really, I mean, 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:24.200 I you know, we haven't even started on the house. 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:26.240 I'm like, I'm leaving that for now. But I have 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:29.720 a new niece. Oh really, Yes. 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:33.440 I'm the twelfth. My sister had our niece. Her name 0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:37.160 is Lily and Lily for short, and she's super adorable, 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:39.640 full head of hair. So I'm super excited because my sister, 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:42.080 you know, she and her husband been trying for a 0:01:42.080 --> 0:01:42.480 long time. 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:45.959 So we've got this amazing, beautiful little girl. And so 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:48.520 now we are up next. 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:50.280 I know I haven't given you guys any update about 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:55.920 like my child trying journey. So actually today I had 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:58.440 like I don't want to call it a minor surgery, 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:00.960 but it's not like like I feel like I've had 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:03.080 it so many times. So what happens is you get 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:05.400 your fibroids removed, and some people get scar tissue, which 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:05.680 I did. 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:07.800 So I had a scar tissue. I had my five 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:08.720 words removed. 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:13.080 In January of this year, had scar tissue removed maybe 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:17.160 a few months after that. Unfortunately, the scar tissue came back. 0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:21.080 So apparently, you know how like, let's just say you 0:02:21.080 --> 0:02:23.400 get like a cut on your arm, and like the 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:26.440 skin is like searching for itself, so it like connects together, 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:27.440 you know. 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:29.400 And so the same thing happened like in my unus. 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:30.720 So like the top part of my unius and the 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:32.720 bottom part of my units are like, hey girl, we're 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:35.760 both trying to heal. Let's hold hands. So literally it 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:37.919 was like so they were they were like, oh, you 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.400 got a lot of scar tissue. So I had to 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:42.600 get it removed a second time. And then they put 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:45.080 something inside me called like a it's. 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:50.680 A u I DA's pregnancy it is. 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:52.280 And so but what it does is they did the 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:52.720 one that they did. 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:55.359 It's not with the medicine to actually hold open my 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:57.959 unus as it heeled, so now youg it's almost like 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:00.400 a stick like a prop you know. And so they 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:02.680 put that in and so I'm not supposed to get 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:04.720 pregnant now anyway, I have to basically wait until I 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:05.800 was healed. 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:08.480 And so they but they put that in. I had 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:09.680 a removal surgery. 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:12.720 They put it in so that way my my uterus 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:14.760 would would not try to stick together again, and it 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:16.760 went really well. So I went today to the doctor, 0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:20.120 which is I think it's called a hisster copy something 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:20.480 I don't know. 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:24.280 No, heck nod, yeah, yeh. 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:26.160 I'm like trying to keep track with what. No, don't 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:27.000 do that, don't do that. 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:31.240 I know it's called a hisstorocopy, I think. 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:34.760 So basically, it's basically they go in and remove any 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:38.160 like remaining scar tissues. So she said she just saw 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:40.120 just a little bit when she was in there today, 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:43.520 so she took it left the IUD in because she was. 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:45.600 Like, you know, you probably just need one more month 0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:47.040 of healing. 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:49.440 But she's like, honestly, Tippy, you look awesome on the inside, 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:52.400 so your your uterus is completely clear, it looks healthy, 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:56.480 and then I'm going to start my IVF process once, 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:00.600 you know, like after this month basically, So basically, like 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:04.200 in October November ish, I should start like the process 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:06.640 which is like I don't know, need don't needle needle, 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:11.720 take your eggs, you know, fertilize them with Superman's firm, 0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:14.280 you know, hopefully they grow, grow, grow, put them in you. 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:15.840 So I honestly could be pregnant by the end of 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:19.320 this year, or it might not take the first cycle. 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:23.000 So basically every cycle is matched with your cycle so 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:25.800 you know, the next time my cycle comes is basically 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:27.680 when I can try. So it can like you know, 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:30.039 like some people right away you know their first cycle 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:32.400 it takes in yay, and some people it's like three 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:35.120 or fourt cycles in, so you just never know. 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:36.400 But I don't know. 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:38.039 I've got a good feeling. So for those of you 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:41.040 who are listening, like you know, I'm just sharing it 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:45.440 because honestly, I think, I don't know. I feel like 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:48.520 people think having kids so easy. I know, I thought 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:51.120 because I just figured, you know, in my thoughting twenties, 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:52.720 Not that I was a huge stop, not really, but 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:54.400 I just, you know, definitely was on my mind, like 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:56.920 don't get pregnant, don't get Yeah, you spend so much 0:04:56.960 --> 0:04:59.039 time not like wanting not to be pregnant, and then 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:01.320 when you finally shift your mind to how to get pregnant, 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:04.200 you realize it's not that easy. Yes, And honestly, when 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:06.440 I tell you, when I share with my girlfriends who 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:10.280 are like you know, I too, honestly, Mandy, like it 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:13.960 feels like thirty percent have like a story of how 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:17.520 they struggled, and I'm just like, well, I didn't realize 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.720 how many women struggle so I just wanted to give 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:22.400 you guys a head up because honestly, the only thing 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:24.200 I've been doing since the last time I spoke about it, 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:26.359 and now it's basically getting scar. 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:29.000 Tissue removed, healing Haley Haley getting scar tissue. 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.200 So there was no like real you know, there's nothing 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:33.880 I could really do, but just like keel scar tissue. 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:37.200 And like the surgery that I had today was I mean, 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:39.280 you're up and about, like honestly, like you know, they 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:41.880 tell you don't drive. Obviously Superman has to come because 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:44.159 you know, they put you under, but there's no pain 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:46.159 or anything like that, and then they put you on 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:49.720 like hormones so like rebuild up your lining. 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:50.960 Since they took some scar tissue. 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:53.919 But yeah, I'm excited because we could finally actually start 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:57.720 all this time. It's been a year of prepping Tiffany's uterus, 0:05:58.000 --> 0:06:01.240 you know, and so now finally it's like uterus, girl, 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:02.520 it's almost. 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:07.279 Time renovating your uterus exactly, a little fixer upper. 0:06:08.400 --> 0:06:13.800 And now it's like, whoo, finally fix her upper. 0:06:15.200 --> 0:06:17.599 Exactly like and then you walk in like, oh my god, 0:06:17.680 --> 0:06:21.719 you this girl cuting here. So I'm excited and plus 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:23.160 you know, what I really love is that, Like and 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:26.000 then the fact that like my sister who also you know, 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:29.440 like it wasn't as easy to get pregnant, is the 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:32.080 fact that she just had her baby. It's like, you know, 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:35.359 just confirmation of like there is and not saying not 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:38.080 that because I guess maybe I'm still so early in 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.800 the process because I haven't. We haven't actually tried as 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:43.520 far as like you know, like with IVF. 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:45.440 So it's not like I've had this disappointment. It's just 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:48.119 been prep work. I don't feel like, oh my gosh, 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:49.160 it's not gonna happen for me. 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:52.360 I still feel like, yes, next up, baby time, And 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:55.240 so I guess we'll see, like what you know, Like, 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:56.239 I am a little. 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:57.280 Nervous about the IVA process. 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:59.760 I'm not needle skittish, but from what I hear to 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:01.400 love out of needles, you know, well. 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:03.760 Let's talk about it, because don't you have to inject yourself? 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:04.520 Yeah? 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:08.960 Yeah, So basically, you like, from what I understand, you 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:10.280 inject yourself, inject yourself. 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:11.320 And then. 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:14.600 Something new like to the doctor was tell me today 0:07:14.600 --> 0:07:16.480 but I was loopy off of my my meds and 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:18.560 she was basically saying something to the effect of like 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:23.120 first they kind of suppress your your your homeownes a 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:25.320 little bit, and then they give you something to kind 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.840 of boost them, so that way you have really good, 0:07:27.960 --> 0:07:31.320 strong eggs that are all mature at the same time. 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:34.200 And then they harvest them and take you know, they're hoping. 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:37.880 So let's just say you're you know, you are an 0:07:37.880 --> 0:07:40.800 egg and making machine, and they could take twelve of them. 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:42.800 That would be twelve healthy egg that would be awesome. 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:45.600 But some people they can only get one or two, right, 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:47.680 and so you just never know, like you know what 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:49.960 you're like, what you're gonna do, what you're gonna be, 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:50.160 you know. 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:52.640 So if they take say like three or four, I'm 0:07:52.680 --> 0:07:54.440 somewhere in the average. They'll take the. 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:58.960 Three or four, they'll get a sample from Superman, and 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:01.640 they will fertilize the eggs and basically watch them, she said, 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:04.960 for five days to see which eggs which Well, by 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.240 then they'll be not fetuses. What's the thing before the 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:11.080 embryos look at you, Mandy, like, they'll be embryos, and 0:08:11.080 --> 0:08:14.320 they'll see which embryos are growing basically you know which 0:08:14.360 --> 0:08:18.520 ones are healthy. And then when the embryos are like, 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:20.400 you know, the ones that continue to grow up the 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:22.760 five days, that's the ones that are most likely to 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:26.000 make it. We opted for the second level, which is 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:29.600 to get them tested chromozonally. 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:31.920 The don't want to make sure abnormalities. 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:33.720 Yeah, so that's extra. 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.720 So I'm fortunate in that because of the man works 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:40.000 for the city, his insurance. Honestly, Mandy paid for like 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:42.320 every penny. I think I paid ten dollars to go 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:44.040 see the doctors, you know, of. 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:47.480 All the treatments too, like the are Oh that's amazing. 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:50.360 Honestly, I don't know that we would be able to 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:53.320 do this without that. So one of his coworkers did this, 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:57.280 and she his wife has twins and so and yeah, 0:08:57.320 --> 0:09:01.120 they pay for everything, the treatment before after, like all 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:03.199 of these like clean up surgeries, all of that has 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:07.080 been paid for. And so yeah, so the one thing 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:09.719 that they didn't pay for, which we're gonna pay for. 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:13.480 It's like, I think it's two thousand dollars, but I 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:18.080 want to get the embryos tested chromosonally to make sure that, 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:20.960 you know, like to test for things that you know, 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:22.959 like it would just make it really hard to raise, 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:26.360 you know, a baby afflicted with those things and so 0:09:26.840 --> 0:09:29.280 we'll get tested for those and then choose the healthiest 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:33.240 embryo and then the other ones that are also healthy. 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:36.679 So let's just say chromosonally, they're all fine, and of 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:40.360 the five, three of them grow you can freeze two 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:43.080 and then you know, try with the one and then 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:45.720 if the one doesn't grow and inside you, then they 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:47.640 can like unthaw another one. 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:50.520 Here's the thing that's really important is that this. 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:52.320 I didn't understand the whole thing about freezing your egg 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:54.319 so because I'm thirty eight, like, let's just say I 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:56.679 would have frozen my eggs at like thirty three. And 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:59.560 I really recommend folks really thinking about it, especially women 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:01.839 who know that they might not have kids until a 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:02.320 little later. 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:04.640 When you freeze your eggs, you freeze like. 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:09.000 The timeframe, like, so any eggs, any embryos that I 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:13.120 can freeze, now, those are thirty eight year old woman's embryos. 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:16.480 So if I say, let's just say later at forty two, 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:19.360 let's just say I have this baby, and at thirty nine, yay, 0:10:19.440 --> 0:10:21.800 the baby comes, and then at forty I'm like, I 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:22.520 want to do it again. 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:25.440 I don't have to use forty year olds eggs and embryos. 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:27.840 I can use my thirty eight year old, which you know, 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:30.439 by definition should be a little bit stronger and healthier. 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:32.360 You know, so you're gonna do as many as you can. 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:34.880 Well I guess yeah, whatever, I yeah, I mean who 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:35.840 I am. 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:38.320 I only get one healthy embryo, and then that's what 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:40.360 we work with, you know, you just there's no way 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:45.320 to tell, quite honestly, and so yeah, so there's just yeah, 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:47.360 it's just such a process because you're just like wow, 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:50.319 people literally just lay down in bed and they're like, oh. 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:55.120 Man, and then they have a baby what exactly? 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:57.520 Literally, And then there are people who are like you 0:10:57.640 --> 0:11:00.679 have to you know, just all of this and it's 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:03.040 just crazy to me, like how that works out. But 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:04.720 like I said, I'm feeling really good about it, and 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:07.120 I you know, one thing that they said too, is 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:10.160 that some people pick and I don't know that we'll 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:14.120 do this, but like you can, because we're getting tested chromozonally, 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:17.320 you can like let's just say like all of them 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.400 are boys, that's one thing. But I'll know the sex 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:22.040 of the of the baby. But like let's just say 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:23.679 I had an embryo that's a girl. An embryo that's 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:25.600 a boy. Both of them are healthy. She said, you 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:27.240 can pick, and I'm like, I don't know. I probably, 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:29.320 I don't know. I want to do all that, but 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.040 I'm someone who would want to know ahead of time. 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:34.360 I might just be like, pick the healthy one. Oh 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:37.520 it's a boy, great, you know. Yeah, but yeah, if 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:39.040 you got a chance to pick, would you pick the 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:39.800 sex of your child? 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:43.480 It would feel so unnatural to pick the sex of 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:45.439 a child. I guess, you know what, I would pick 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:47.559 a girl because I feel like there's lots of societies 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:51.600 where people purposefully don't have girls because of like social normalis. 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:55.480 Maybe I'm overthinking it, but uh yeah. 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:57.120 We talked about it a lot, like what do you think? 0:11:57.200 --> 0:11:58.960 And I was like, honestly, at this point. 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:01.560 I just really want a healthy baby, and so I 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:03.600 feel like, I mean that might be out of our hands, 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:05.640 not the healthy baby part, but there might be. 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:09.360 We might have three healthy embryos and they're all boys, you. 0:12:09.320 --> 0:12:11.560 Know, I mean, think the best one with the best 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:13.040 shot of thinking. 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.720 I feel like, yeah, exactly what I said. I'm like, 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:18.280 I just want like a healthy baby, and you know, 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:20.880 a boy or girl. Although I'm like, lord, like. 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:24.080 Supergirl, you know, she's she's so much better now, you know. 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:27.080 She certainly doesn't say Tiffany, Tiffany ain't done the dishes 0:12:27.120 --> 0:12:28.480 in a while. I'm sure she thinks it, but she 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:31.000 doesn't say. 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:34.839 So I'm not gonna lie having another girl in the mouth. 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:37.040 I don't know. But at this point, I just want 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:38.800 a healthy baby. 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:42.920 So I'm excited, though a little nervous because I'm like, yikes, 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:45.040 a baby because whatever, our baby, said my niece and 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:47.600 my nephew, because my niece is one and my nephew's three. 0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:50.800 My sister looks at me like, you sure you want. 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:54.400 All me listen, I don't look too closely, Like that's 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.600 my philosophy because if you if you overthink it. That's 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:00.079 the hard part about like doing this, the IVS and 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:03.400 all that, like adopting even like you're willfully doing this 0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:07.240 to yourself, like you are on purpose having a baby. 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:10.440 Yes exactly. So I'm just like, yeah, but I mean, 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:12.520 I know it's not going to be easy. But honestly, 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:14.360 me and Superman we're just talking the other day. I'm like, 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:18.880 you know, we're just so blessed, like you know, we 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:21.480 we've got you know, we're I mean, we have each other. 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:24.320 You know, I'm thankful that my parents are here still. 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:27.760 You know, I've got awesome family. My sister's, my niece, 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.880 my nephew, my new niece, and like I get to 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:31.760 do what I love for. 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:35.120 A living and you know, make a good amount of 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:35.720 money doing so. 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.840 But bigger than that, I mean, just it comes down 0:13:38.880 --> 0:13:42.960 to family and love, and I just want to, like, 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.199 you know, expand that. 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:48.280 You know, I really want to have a baby with Superman. 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:51.600 He's like such an awesome dad already, the Supergirl and like, 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:55.480 just like my niece and my nephew, they just love him, honestly, 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:56.199 all the kids. 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:59.840 In the neighborhood. He is the black mister Rogers. 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:02.199 And like, just the other day, I'm telling you, I 0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:04.760 can't come in the house without somebody eating our apple sauce. 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:08.840 Hey, it's mister Superman. Well they don't call me Superman, 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:11.440 it's missus Superman a home, you know. And I'm like, no, 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:13.640 y'all got apple sauce. I'm like, that's. 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:15.679 Exactly you must have the good You must have the 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:17.600 good squeeze apple sauce. Everyone loves now. 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:19.720 No, well no, we all we just we get the 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:22.360 like the little moths cups. Literally, we don't even eat 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:22.880 apple sauce. 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:25.160 I think super Girl doesn't even enjoy apple sauce like 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:26.960 that anymore because she's eleven now, so you know, she 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:28.880 thinks she's grown in seventh grade, so she's not a 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:31.200 big apple sauce either. We literally keep it for the 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.400 babies in the back. And now to even know to ask, 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:35.280 can I have a spoon, I'm like, I spooned to 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:39.280 we get I get the disposable spoon because god forbid, 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:41.160 you know, we don't have a spoon to go with 0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:41.800 the apple. 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:43.240 Sauce that they're confiscated from our home. 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:46.880 But honestly, he's just like the best, and I just 0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:49.560 like I could just see him, like he's just a 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:52.480 really good father, and I just know that I want 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:56.000 to to bring, even though the world is a little crazy, 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:58.280 a baby into the world with him and raised a baby. 0:14:58.280 --> 0:14:59.760 He's like, Oh, baby's gonna save the world. I'm like 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:01.160 about all answers, man. 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:05.680 Probably I just want our baby to be healthy and happy. 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:08.920 Well, it's nice to hear you're such a like positive love. 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:11.200 That's the only attitude, Like, the only way to approach 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.440 it right is just to be you know, as open 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:16.240 minded and positive as you can be, and just surround 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:19.080 yourself with other people who are positive about baby super 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:23.080 Budget Nesta and oh I hope it happens. 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.040 Yeah, me too. Yeah, but you know, I'm sure you guys. 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:28.400 You guys, they hit me up sometimes, like in my mentions, 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.640 like send of your baby raids, or like telling me 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:33.080 drink some vitamin that's supposed to be like a baby 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:33.720 making vitamin. 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:36.960 And I'm like, you know, like, I'm like, you know what, 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:39.240 I'm just gonna stick to the doctor's orders right now. 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:43.360 But thanks man, well, thank you so much for being candid. 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:45.840 I mean, if you guys, have you put tiff on blast? 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:47.920 Someone was asking on Twitter, like can we get an 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:51.479 update on Tiffany's vibroids? 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:57.560 Honestly, and I don't mind, because it's it's it's it's 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.000 something that we don't talk about enough. And I think, 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:03.600 like you know, and I find that there's so many women, 0:16:04.200 --> 0:16:07.880 even women who've already have kids, so many women, especially 0:16:07.880 --> 0:16:10.320 women of color, brown women, we are afflicted with five 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:13.200 boards like crazy. Honestly, it's really the reason why I 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:16.520 went vegan. I mean, because honestly, I love chicken, you know, 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:20.920 and I went vegan because although they don't know the 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:23.640 one hundred percent cars of five boards, you know, the 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.680 suspected cause is like you know, hormones and meat and 0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:27.160 stuff like that. 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:28.400 That that definitely adds to it. 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:29.960 So I was like, well, what can I do on 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:33.240 my side, like to help with this process? And so 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:34.640 I'm like, you know, what if I have to give 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:39.080 up you know, meat, and well dairy was easy because 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:41.600 I wasn't really having that anyway, then so be it. 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:42.600 No chicken No. 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:44.840 I mean I still sneak in like fish here and there, 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:48.720 but no chicken, no red meat, no turkey, no pork, 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:51.120 which I don't eat pork anyway, but you know, definitely 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:53.680 no dairy, and hoping to just because I don't want 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:56.160 them to grow back, you know, because they can, you know, 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:59.000 just because you got them removed. I know people who 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:01.280 are having you know, they're young. A friend of mine 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:05.040 is in her still in her thirties, she already has kids. 0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:07.600 So she's actually getting a hysterectomy to just remove her 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:10.600 her units altogether because the five words have just taken over, 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:10.960 you know. 0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:14.320 So yeah, it can be a scary thing. 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:16.920 Well, thanks for talking about it, and you've found them 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:19.480 through like a routine checkup. 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:21.920 Right now, I'll tell a story one day once I 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:22.359 have the baby. 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:23.960 I'll tell you how I found them because it's pretty 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:26.320 sad and I'm just like, yikes, but I just feel 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:28.240 like I'm not ready to open up about that part yet. 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:29.919 But yeah, I found them in a sad way and 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:32.640 I was just like, well, this sucks, but but yeah, 0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:34.359 so when the baby's here, it'll be a good story. 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:36.480 And I say that to myself, like I'm gonna it'll 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:38.720 be a good story to share for those who have 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:39.560 been through the same thing. 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:41.639 No, well, based on what you've gone through. And then 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:44.640 my sister went through her own experience with three productive 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:48.040 issues this year and I have them kicking myself because 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:49.560 I need to go to the guyn of collegist and 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:51.240 get my own checkup. And it's been a while. And 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:53.159 I feel like, if you're listening and it's been a 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:54.960 while since you've had a check up at the guyano, 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:57.920 just go and see what see what's there, Because even 0:17:57.960 --> 0:17:59.360 though I may not be planning to have a kid 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:01.639 right now, I do. I don't want it to be 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:03.719 too late when I'm ready to find out there were 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:06.160 issues that I could have, you know, gotten on top 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:09.639 of you know, it's like it's like saving up for retirement. 0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:12.160 Like I'm not going to retire tomorrow, but I want 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:14.479 to make it easier for myself by taking some steps 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:17.000 today to make sure that I can retire. 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:35.480 Well, h questions, how you going to? 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:39.120 I really need to learn the words to what was that? 0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:41.920 I said? It's A. It's A. That's the shout song, 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:43.600 I think, and it's like. 0:18:44.359 --> 0:18:49.360 I don't know, Okay, yeah, misindependent or no independent, Yeah, 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:51.320 Charlie's angels. 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:52.560 I don't know. 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:54.320 But one of these days I'm going to learn some 0:18:54.320 --> 0:18:56.440 some some some words so it makes sense. 0:18:56.720 --> 0:18:58.480 Yeah, it makes Yeah, you got it, you got it, 0:18:58.520 --> 0:18:59.000 I got you. 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:00.400 Yeah. 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:02.399 Questions, So, if you guys want to send us questions, 0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:04.200 you know, you can hit us up at Brannambission Podcast 0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:09.320 at gmail dot com. Got and we got an amazing 0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:12.040 assortment of questions. Also, I need to apologize because we 0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:14.760 ran and we ran a rerun while we were taking 0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:16.760 a couple of weeks off in late August, and I 0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:19.919 guess I accidentally left a call out that we had 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:21.680 put on the show a couple of years ago where 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:23.719 we were asking people to tell us what brand ambition 0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:26.320 means to you to enter a contest where you can 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:29.040 have dinner with us and get a swag, get some 0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:33.399 swag from Tiffany. And that contest is no longer technically running, 0:19:33.480 --> 0:19:36.200 but we got some fun emails from you, guys, So 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:39.439 I think we're going to talk about some way to 0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:41.760 thank you guys for those sweet messages that you sent. 0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:45.480 But I'm sorry that was an old contest, my bad, 0:19:46.040 --> 0:19:49.280 no longer running, So stay tuned, Stay tuned, We'll find 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:51.959 a way to thank you, guys. But a couple of 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:55.280 questions in the mailbox this week. Let's take one from 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:59.159 listener Shantel. Chantel says, you talked, You ladies talked a 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:02.040 lot last year about engagement rings and the amount a 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:04.679 man should spend for one. I'm not engaged yet, but 0:20:04.760 --> 0:20:06.879 like Tiffany, I know it's coming and I'm trying to 0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:10.560 prepare for my expenses, so her expenses. That's funny, to 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:13.119 be honest. I want his band, his wedding band, to 0:20:13.200 --> 0:20:15.520 be special, so I want to customize it a little. 0:20:15.600 --> 0:20:18.040 Not sure how yet. My question is how much did you, 0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:20.879 ladies pay for your husband's wedding bands? And did a 0:20:20.880 --> 0:20:25.320 lot of thought go into it interesting. So much focus 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.200 on the women's engagement ring, but uh, did the men 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:28.800 get any love? 0:20:31.160 --> 0:20:33.399 I'm not gonna lie, I'm the worst person to ask us. 0:20:34.720 --> 0:20:37.840 We didn't spend that much, honestly, because he is so 0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:40.320 similar to me in that he was like what. 0:20:40.480 --> 0:20:41.399 His only thing was. 0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:45.560 We were literally like going to Macy's for like a code, 0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:48.000 and then we walked by the obviously I already had 0:20:48.000 --> 0:20:49.560 my engagement ring already. 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:50.520 And then we walked by the. 0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:55.040 Jewelry section and he's like, oh, do you want to 0:20:55.080 --> 0:20:57.320 look because we have to get bands because we were, 0:20:57.440 --> 0:20:59.480 you know, getting married I guess in a couple of weeks. 0:20:59.520 --> 0:21:00.720 And I said okay. 0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:03.400 So when it came down to his he honestly didn't 0:21:03.400 --> 0:21:06.639 want any embellishment on it. He just wanted like a 0:21:06.680 --> 0:21:10.960 simple uh uh what is that rose gold? 0:21:10.960 --> 0:21:12.720 What's the gold that looks like silver? White gold? 0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:13.920 White gold? Yeah? 0:21:14.000 --> 0:21:17.119 Yeah, so a simple white gold band. And my husband 0:21:17.240 --> 0:21:19.120 is like really tall, so he was like, I don't 0:21:19.160 --> 0:21:20.760 want to do you know, one of these baby bands, 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:23.040 you know, so he wanted like he wanted like a 0:21:23.840 --> 0:21:25.800 thick band, but you know, so but something that was 0:21:25.800 --> 0:21:28.320 going to look normal. So it might look thick on me, 0:21:28.680 --> 0:21:31.879 but it looks normal on him. And honestly, it was 0:21:31.960 --> 0:21:35.119 like because it was so simple, it was like, I 0:21:35.200 --> 0:21:37.879 want to say, probably not even a thousand dollars. And 0:21:37.920 --> 0:21:39.720 then and then on top of that, Macy's was having 0:21:39.720 --> 0:21:42.959 this huge tremendous sale. It was like, and then we 0:21:43.000 --> 0:21:44.879 also had like, he has a Macy's car, so it 0:21:45.000 --> 0:21:49.520 was like, hey, this weekend, you know, this jewelry is like, 0:21:49.640 --> 0:21:49.920 you know. 0:21:50.240 --> 0:21:51.639 Fifty percent off plus with your car. 0:21:52.240 --> 0:21:54.880 And it ended up being like, I think, like for something 0:21:54.920 --> 0:21:57.040 five hundred dollars, So it was next to nothing, not 0:21:57.080 --> 0:21:58.960 next to nothing, but for as far as a band 0:21:59.000 --> 0:22:02.399 is concerned. So yeah, we didn't like, you know, it 0:22:02.480 --> 0:22:05.720 was just us strolling through. And like I said, he 0:22:05.760 --> 0:22:08.840 specifically didn't want he didn't want any diamonds, He didn't 0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:12.439 want any He just wanted a really simple band. And 0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:16.000 I mean, and so it was easy for me, so 0:22:16.040 --> 0:22:17.359 I didn't have to really think about it. I mean, 0:22:17.359 --> 0:22:19.320 if he would have wanted something fancy, you know, and 0:22:19.400 --> 0:22:22.199 I'm like, do do the women traditionally pay for we 0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:23.920 just kind of did it as a I don't want 0:22:23.960 --> 0:22:26.040 to say as a couple, but we were like it's 0:22:26.040 --> 0:22:27.920 on the Macy's card and it just gets paid for 0:22:28.040 --> 0:22:30.320 our bill's account, so I never thought about it. 0:22:30.480 --> 0:22:33.080 Did you pay for end weekend? Ooh for husbies? 0:22:33.440 --> 0:22:36.760 Oh it's fun. He's out there Husby's wedding band. 0:22:36.920 --> 0:22:37.120 Yeah. 0:22:37.119 --> 0:22:38.720 I mean by that point, we were living together and 0:22:38.720 --> 0:22:43.320 our finances were one so he saved separately in a 0:22:43.359 --> 0:22:47.439 secret savings account for my engagement ring, and I forget 0:22:47.440 --> 0:22:48.959 how we paid for I mean, yeah, I was kind 0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:51.800 of out of one pot. But his wedding band was 0:22:51.840 --> 0:22:55.119 five hundred dollars and that was significantly less than my 0:22:55.200 --> 0:22:57.600 wedding band. But I feel like men get off easy 0:22:57.640 --> 0:23:00.720 because you know, their bands are typical, more simple and 0:23:00.760 --> 0:23:03.359 they don't have you know, diamonds or embellishments and stuff. 0:23:03.359 --> 0:23:05.720 And yeah, same thing. He had a very simple, I 0:23:05.720 --> 0:23:09.320 think a platinum or white gold band, and we went 0:23:09.359 --> 0:23:11.959 to a local jewelry shop in Brooklyn that we just 0:23:12.000 --> 0:23:16.240 happened to be passing through, kind of similar to your story, 0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:19.240 and that was that was it. Five hundred bucks? I 0:23:19.240 --> 0:23:22.000 think five hundred bucks Max. Like, I don't know, unless 0:23:22.000 --> 0:23:24.280 your man wants something really fancy, I don't I don't 0:23:24.280 --> 0:23:26.120 see any reason to spend more than five hundred bucks 0:23:26.160 --> 0:23:26.600 on something. 0:23:27.080 --> 0:23:29.040 Yeah, that's why I said, Like I mean, like I said, 0:23:29.040 --> 0:23:31.040 it's because his was I'm sure you know Macy's. 0:23:31.040 --> 0:23:33.120 I'm sure it's inflated anyway, No. 0:23:33.119 --> 0:23:35.200 Shade to Macy's, but like, yeah, I was really thinking 0:23:35.200 --> 0:23:37.160 in my head like it should not be. I hadn't 0:23:37.160 --> 0:23:38.800 done any research on bands, so I was like I 0:23:38.840 --> 0:23:40.920 didn't know what the norm was. But when it came 0:23:40.960 --> 0:23:43.119 all down to the price, I was like, oh, okay, 0:23:43.160 --> 0:23:44.320 four fifty or whatever. 0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:45.280 That sounds good. 0:23:45.680 --> 0:23:48.919 He was like, yeah, just divide that by eternity, and 0:23:49.000 --> 0:23:52.240 you know, it's like a dollar. 0:23:52.000 --> 0:23:55.720 A year exactly. I love that. Divide that by eternity. 0:23:56.240 --> 0:23:57.879 Like when they sell you a mattress, it's someone that 0:23:57.920 --> 0:23:59.800 had cost you eighty none sense a day. When you 0:23:59.800 --> 0:24:02.000 think about the average time you're going to own a mattress, 0:24:02.920 --> 0:24:06.640 what does that even mean? Thanks Sean Teal and good 0:24:06.840 --> 0:24:09.560 good on you for at least thinking ahead and hopefully 0:24:09.640 --> 0:24:12.919 it works out. Uh So, let's take another question this was. 0:24:13.000 --> 0:24:16.879 This is a funny one from an anonymous listener. She says, 0:24:16.960 --> 0:24:19.200 I am currently working at payoff some credit card debt 0:24:19.280 --> 0:24:22.160 using the debt snowball method. I plan on having everything 0:24:22.240 --> 0:24:25.000 paid off next year, but restricted spending is kind of 0:24:25.000 --> 0:24:27.560 getting me down right now. I miss being able to 0:24:27.560 --> 0:24:29.480 grab a bottle of wine on my way home without 0:24:29.480 --> 0:24:31.800 a second thought, or buying new clothes on a whim. 0:24:32.200 --> 0:24:34.399 While budgeting makes me feel more in control of my 0:24:34.480 --> 0:24:37.600 finances and aware of my spending, which is fantastic, I'm 0:24:37.640 --> 0:24:40.280 just having a hard time adjusting to my new budget 0:24:40.280 --> 0:24:46.760 babe lifestyle. Any thoughts or recommendations, Poor anonymous, poor budget babe, 0:24:46.800 --> 0:24:51.359 we'll call her. You're trying to get used to your 0:24:52.000 --> 0:24:54.520 your new budget conscious life. Yeah, you know, it's it's 0:24:54.600 --> 0:24:56.800 not fun when you think about it as missing out 0:24:56.800 --> 0:24:59.840 on something, you know, so don't think about the bottle 0:24:59.880 --> 0:25:02.600 of wine that you're missing out on. Well, we'll get back. 0:25:02.760 --> 0:25:04.479 We'll come back to that bottle of wine, because I've 0:25:04.520 --> 0:25:06.360 been budgeting for a while and I never I never 0:25:06.440 --> 0:25:09.399 missed my bottle of wine. But I mean, think about 0:25:09.640 --> 0:25:11.760 think about what you're going to be gaining by paying 0:25:11.800 --> 0:25:13.959 off that credit card debt. Think about every dollar you're 0:25:14.000 --> 0:25:16.160 paying off as one dollar in your pocket, Like you're 0:25:16.160 --> 0:25:19.320 getting richer by paying off that credit card debt. And 0:25:19.359 --> 0:25:22.480 then I mean maybe maybe your budget is so is 0:25:22.520 --> 0:25:25.320 restricted in the wrong ways, Like maybe the things that 0:25:25.320 --> 0:25:27.320 truly bring you joy you could make a little bit 0:25:27.359 --> 0:25:29.760 more room in your budget for and then cut back 0:25:29.800 --> 0:25:32.920 in other areas to save money. I mean, a five 0:25:33.000 --> 0:25:36.240 dollars ten dollars bottle of wine, you know once in 0:25:36.280 --> 0:25:39.280 a while will not should not be breaking your budget. 0:25:39.600 --> 0:25:42.080 So I would, I would, just I would, I would 0:25:42.119 --> 0:25:44.560 take a look at where you're cutting back and maybe 0:25:44.960 --> 0:25:46.680 bake in a little bit of wiggle room if you're 0:25:46.680 --> 0:25:48.680 being way too restrictive, because like you don't want to 0:25:48.680 --> 0:25:53.160 make life miserable. And then even beyond that, just think 0:25:53.200 --> 0:25:56.480 about your mindset around budgeting too, because I think that's important. 0:25:56.520 --> 0:25:59.280 Just think about the positive aspects of it versus what 0:25:59.320 --> 0:26:00.320 you may be missing on. 0:26:01.320 --> 0:26:03.439 Yeah, and also too, sometimes it helps of like I mean, 0:26:03.480 --> 0:26:05.959 I don't know if you're a cash person, but like 0:26:06.040 --> 0:26:09.240 it helps to have like money that you don't have 0:26:09.320 --> 0:26:11.520 to think about, meaning like you know, so one of 0:26:11.520 --> 0:26:14.160 the things I used to do when I was teaching 0:26:14.240 --> 0:26:17.600 a preschool and I had like this really like kind 0:26:17.600 --> 0:26:19.720 of like concrete budget. I kind of had like this 0:26:19.840 --> 0:26:22.520 fun money where it was like it was either on 0:26:22.560 --> 0:26:24.680 my debit card or I would take it out in cash, 0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:27.159 and I did, like I purposely did not have to 0:26:27.200 --> 0:26:28.080 be responsible with it. 0:26:28.080 --> 0:26:29.320 It was like tiffany. 0:26:29.040 --> 0:26:32.320 Retirement money set aside savings and set aside bills are 0:26:32.320 --> 0:26:35.880 set aside, and this fun money, this whatever it is, 0:26:35.880 --> 0:26:37.960 is literally I could. I used to tell myself, you 0:26:38.000 --> 0:26:39.600 could take this money and flush it down the toilet 0:26:39.640 --> 0:26:43.440 and you're fine. Like this is like your non allocated 0:26:43.560 --> 0:26:45.879 has to be responsible money. So sometimes setting aside that 0:26:46.280 --> 0:26:49.800 you know, outside of your other responsibilities helps because if 0:26:49.800 --> 0:26:52.080 I want a sushi every night for a week, and 0:26:52.160 --> 0:26:54.359 my fun money, you know, allowed for that, then so 0:26:54.440 --> 0:26:58.440 be it. And so that way, you know, when you 0:26:58.480 --> 0:27:01.080 when you splurge, you can do so without you know, 0:27:01.200 --> 0:27:05.760 without worrying about it. Sett inside a fun fund might 0:27:05.760 --> 0:27:06.280 be helpful. 0:27:07.280 --> 0:27:10.080 Yeah, I totally agree. I mean, a small five dollars 0:27:10.080 --> 0:27:11.520 bottle of one if it brings you joy and it 0:27:11.560 --> 0:27:13.480 makes you feel like you're still living your fun life, 0:27:13.560 --> 0:27:16.160 missbudget babe, I mean, that's a small price to pay, 0:27:17.080 --> 0:27:18.679 and I don't feel like it's gonna wreck your It's 0:27:18.720 --> 0:27:21.680 not going to make your break your budget, you know. Yeah, 0:27:22.200 --> 0:27:23.680 treat yourself, just a tiny bit. 0:27:24.320 --> 0:27:26.040 Treat yourself preach yourself. 0:27:27.600 --> 0:27:29.760 Thank you for your question, and good luck. Budget Babe. 0:27:29.760 --> 0:27:30.400 Just stick with it. 0:27:31.760 --> 0:27:33.520 Yeah, you got it, You got it. 0:27:33.560 --> 0:27:37.879 Because budget Babe is way more fun than debt Diva. 0:27:37.960 --> 0:27:41.200 Oh yeah, ah yeah. 0:27:41.040 --> 0:27:45.880 Debt depression. Okay, one last question. I'm maybe a couple 0:27:45.880 --> 0:27:48.720 more so. This is another anonymous question. Y'all shady in 0:27:48.720 --> 0:27:52.320 these streets. She says, Hey, guys, I love your show. 0:27:52.359 --> 0:27:54.200 I'm late to the podcast game and just started about 0:27:54.200 --> 0:27:57.240 a month ago, but you're my number one show for inspiration. Awesome. 0:27:57.720 --> 0:28:01.520 My question is a tax question. Yea, I did not 0:28:01.720 --> 0:28:04.000 file my taxes quite Tiffany, just like. 0:28:05.240 --> 0:28:06.560 I've been there, girl reads. 0:28:07.280 --> 0:28:10.200 She says, we're also we're getting a tax question in September, 0:28:10.240 --> 0:28:12.520 so we know where this is going. Okay, She says, 0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:14.600 I did not file my tax this year and also 0:28:14.720 --> 0:28:17.400 did not file for an extension. I know I owe 0:28:17.440 --> 0:28:20.119 a huge amount and I just panicked. I usually do 0:28:20.200 --> 0:28:22.240 my own taxes through Turbo tax, but I'm a little 0:28:22.280 --> 0:28:25.080 scared since I'm so late. Should I just hire someone 0:28:25.119 --> 0:28:26.879 to do them or should I just file like I 0:28:26.960 --> 0:28:29.960 usually do ps. I have a senior in high school 0:28:29.960 --> 0:28:31.800 and I need my taxes done so we can get 0:28:32.040 --> 0:28:33.800 her facts for going in a few months. 0:28:33.920 --> 0:28:34.160 Help. 0:28:34.280 --> 0:28:36.560 Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. 0:28:36.760 --> 0:28:37.040 Woof. 0:28:37.480 --> 0:28:41.400 Yeah, not filing your taxes not cool. So if you 0:28:41.760 --> 0:28:43.880 guys are out there, if you owe taxes, just because 0:28:43.880 --> 0:28:46.960 you don't file doesn't mean that the IRS doesn't see 0:28:46.960 --> 0:28:51.760 the debt. It's still there and a cruing interest. So 0:28:51.840 --> 0:28:54.000 you don't say how much you owe. But the worst 0:28:54.040 --> 0:28:56.000 thing you can do is what you're doing now, which 0:28:56.040 --> 0:28:58.240 is to ignore it. To be perfectly honest, you need 0:28:58.320 --> 0:29:01.400 to go to IRS dot of find the find the 0:29:01.400 --> 0:29:03.280 I'm gonna literally send you a link to an i 0:29:03.440 --> 0:29:05.840 rs dot coup page where you have the contact info 0:29:06.160 --> 0:29:08.680 where you can call them and get on a payment plan. 0:29:09.080 --> 0:29:11.200 Yeah, I was gonna say that they exist. 0:29:11.440 --> 0:29:14.560 I know people who have done IRS payment plans, and 0:29:14.880 --> 0:29:16.640 you know, interests will still accrue, but at least you 0:29:16.680 --> 0:29:18.640 will be getting on top of it and getting your 0:29:18.680 --> 0:29:20.680 ducks in a row versus just letting it sit out 0:29:20.720 --> 0:29:23.680 there and collect late penalties and nastiness. 0:29:24.120 --> 0:29:25.920 And honestly, if you have a good like so like 0:29:26.000 --> 0:29:29.080 my accountant, Carlos, I remember, like you think you're mad 0:29:29.280 --> 0:29:33.480 tried three years three years of non filing pack when 0:29:33.480 --> 0:29:35.320 I when I started my businesses because I was like, 0:29:35.360 --> 0:29:37.360 I didn't even really make no money. That's not how 0:29:37.360 --> 0:29:42.280 it works, Oh my god. And honestly, I ended up 0:29:42.320 --> 0:29:46.280 owing eight thousand dollars like at the end, in half 0:29:46.320 --> 0:29:47.120 of which were fees. 0:29:47.200 --> 0:29:48.120 Can you imagine? 0:29:48.440 --> 0:29:52.160 Almost like Carlos was like, tiphany, Yo, you didn't even 0:29:52.200 --> 0:29:54.440 owe that much, like because you're right, you didn't make 0:29:54.440 --> 0:29:57.240 a ton, but because it was like fiance and fild 0:29:57.280 --> 0:29:58.200 top and fiantip. 0:29:57.920 --> 0:29:58.760 Fee and so. 0:29:59.760 --> 0:30:02.360 But there's also too like you if you're nervous about 0:30:02.400 --> 0:30:04.800 doing it yourself. I know a friend of mine who 0:30:06.080 --> 0:30:08.120 he owed even more than that. He owed a significant 0:30:08.160 --> 0:30:11.160 amount of money. And because of the amount, I like 0:30:11.160 --> 0:30:12.440 I said, I don't know how much you owe since 0:30:12.440 --> 0:30:14.920 it's just a year, But because of the amount, Carlos 0:30:14.960 --> 0:30:16.720 was able to call the IRS and actually work out 0:30:17.040 --> 0:30:21.320 not only a payment plan but a reduction. So like 0:30:21.360 --> 0:30:24.680 you know, like like me eight thousand, although it was 0:30:24.720 --> 0:30:26.480 a good amount of money, it's not like I think 0:30:26.720 --> 0:30:30.480 my friend owed like thirty thousand something crazy, so and 0:30:30.760 --> 0:30:31.840 he was just like, there's no way I'm going to 0:30:31.840 --> 0:30:33.840 be able to pay that. So you know, he worked 0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:37.760 out some sort of like well, settlement basically, so depending 0:30:37.800 --> 0:30:41.320 on how much, if it's if it's you know, you know, 0:30:41.480 --> 0:30:44.040 I don't know, a few thousand or a few hundred, 0:30:44.320 --> 0:30:46.160 you know, calling the IRS and just say I could 0:30:46.160 --> 0:30:47.880 do this by myself. But if you're like I really 0:30:47.920 --> 0:30:50.240 think I owe even more than that, you might want 0:30:50.240 --> 0:30:55.640 to get an accountant who So Carlos's father used to 0:30:55.640 --> 0:30:58.400 actually work for the IRS and together they opened a firm. 0:30:58.600 --> 0:31:01.760 So looking for an accountant who has a specialty and 0:31:01.880 --> 0:31:04.440 like basically like IRS dealings. You know, that's one of 0:31:04.480 --> 0:31:06.640 the reasons why I him is because he's not just 0:31:06.640 --> 0:31:09.960 the regular CPA. He's someone who actually, like, if if 0:31:10.000 --> 0:31:11.520 I had to go to IRS court, he would go 0:31:11.520 --> 0:31:15.720 on my behalf. He's done that before for people, So yeah, 0:31:15.840 --> 0:31:16.000 you know. 0:31:16.000 --> 0:31:17.640 You'll probably end up doing is getting put on some 0:31:17.680 --> 0:31:20.760 sort of installment month installment agreement, and installments is just 0:31:20.760 --> 0:31:23.160 where you pay the debt off in a monthly payment. 0:31:23.200 --> 0:31:25.240 And I believe with the if you that's for people 0:31:25.240 --> 0:31:28.480 who owe fifty thousand dollars or less. I'm actually looking 0:31:28.480 --> 0:31:31.320 at the Magnifying Money Guide to Facing Tax Debt, which 0:31:31.360 --> 0:31:32.880 I can send you a link to as well, which 0:31:32.920 --> 0:31:36.200 probably has some helpful information. But yeah, I mean you 0:31:36.200 --> 0:31:40.440 you just just just be honest with yourself about it, Anonymous, 0:31:40.480 --> 0:31:43.680 and get on top of it, because I mean, you're right, 0:31:43.760 --> 0:31:46.400 you do need you need to have your I believe 0:31:46.440 --> 0:31:49.600 you need to have your most recent W two, not 0:31:49.760 --> 0:31:53.040 W two, but most recent tax files, tax is filed 0:31:53.120 --> 0:31:55.600 if you want to fill out your kid's FAFSVA. So 0:31:55.880 --> 0:31:57.760 you want to get on that days app. 0:31:58.000 --> 0:31:58.560 Yes you do. 0:32:00.040 --> 0:32:02.200 But thank you for your question and being honest about it, 0:32:02.200 --> 0:32:03.960 because now you're you can at least get on the right. 0:32:03.880 --> 0:32:07.240 Track exactly, because you know everybody makes mistakes. Is about 0:32:07.280 --> 0:32:07.800 what do you do. 0:32:07.840 --> 0:32:09.920 Now all of us make mistakes? 0:32:09.960 --> 0:32:10.080 You know? 0:32:10.120 --> 0:32:13.040 I was just speaking to I was at this conference 0:32:13.080 --> 0:32:14.680 last week, I mentioned, and I got to talk with 0:32:14.720 --> 0:32:17.200 a handful of kids who go to HBCUs and they're 0:32:17.200 --> 0:32:20.000 studying journalism, and of course I went there to like 0:32:20.040 --> 0:32:22.160 talk about career, but I ended up talking like by 0:32:22.200 --> 0:32:24.240 the end of it, I had them all on discoverscorecard 0:32:24.240 --> 0:32:26.640 dot com and checking their credit report. You know, it 0:32:26.680 --> 0:32:28.400 was it was really hilarious. But like one of the 0:32:28.440 --> 0:32:31.800 girls in the group, she like she was so nervous 0:32:31.840 --> 0:32:35.080 to admit that she had taken out this Discover student 0:32:35.120 --> 0:32:38.400 credit card and then had misplaced a credit card and 0:32:38.800 --> 0:32:41.320 hadn't told her parents, and she was super she just didn't. 0:32:41.400 --> 0:32:43.080 She was like, I don't. I'm just I did just 0:32:43.200 --> 0:32:45.120 feel like it's really bad that I lost it, and 0:32:45.160 --> 0:32:46.680 I feel like people could be using it. I just 0:32:46.680 --> 0:32:49.080 didn't want to tell anybody, and I'm like, but I 0:32:49.160 --> 0:32:50.920 was like, oh, it's okay. You know, I lose my 0:32:50.960 --> 0:32:52.840 credit card all the time, not really all the time, 0:32:52.880 --> 0:32:55.040 but it's such an easy fix. And yeah, she just 0:32:55.080 --> 0:32:57.920 felt this sense of like embarrassment around it and around 0:32:57.920 --> 0:33:00.880 the repercussions. So it's not just big things, like tax said, 0:33:00.880 --> 0:33:03.520 it's like even the small things. Everyone kind of you know, 0:33:03.760 --> 0:33:05.840 you get like you feel embarrassed and you don't want 0:33:05.840 --> 0:33:08.440 to do anything. But that's usually the worst thing to do. 0:33:08.920 --> 0:33:11.320 Yeah, not even it's always the worst thing to do, 0:33:11.360 --> 0:33:13.680 but it's always the number one default, isn't it. 0:33:13.680 --> 0:33:15.280 You're like, yeh, child, but that hurs. 0:33:15.320 --> 0:33:19.200 I'm just gonna stit here with it, my toothaches, you 0:33:19.240 --> 0:33:20.640 know what, let me see how long I can wait. 0:33:20.840 --> 0:33:21.200 Let me know. 0:33:21.360 --> 0:33:24.720 The default is always if I ignore, maybe it'll go away. 0:33:24.840 --> 0:33:28.480 And it literally only compounds the trouble. So I'm trying 0:33:28.520 --> 0:33:30.520 to practice that. Like, so one of my new practices 0:33:30.720 --> 0:33:32.000 and what do you do for this maybe is that 0:33:32.080 --> 0:33:36.640 like if I'm scared, like say, like today my contractor 0:33:36.680 --> 0:33:38.160 emailed me and I was I had asked him for 0:33:38.160 --> 0:33:39.920 a bunch of things, and I thought I was scared 0:33:39.960 --> 0:33:41.440 to open the email that he was gonna be like, girl, 0:33:41.440 --> 0:33:43.640 you tried it, I'm moving on to somebody else, and 0:33:43.720 --> 0:33:45.640 so I forced myself as soon as I saw it, 0:33:45.920 --> 0:33:48.360 I was like, I'm scared opening now. So I'm trying 0:33:48.400 --> 0:33:52.160 to re re kind of like I guess, I don't know, 0:33:52.240 --> 0:33:56.840 like I almost like retrain my brain that fear equates 0:33:56.840 --> 0:33:59.200 to immediate action because that's not my normal. 0:33:59.280 --> 0:34:00.520 That's not my normal trajectory. 0:34:00.520 --> 0:34:03.280 When something happens, it's like, yeah, yikes, I'm scared, open 0:34:03.320 --> 0:34:05.960 the door, yikes, I'm scared, read the email, yanks, I'm scared. 0:34:06.000 --> 0:34:09.000 Listen to the voice message, you know. And so that's 0:34:09.000 --> 0:34:10.080 like what I've been trying to practice. 0:34:10.120 --> 0:34:12.120 I don't always get there, but I feel like I'm 0:34:12.239 --> 0:34:14.520 like fifty percent of the way there of doing the 0:34:15.080 --> 0:34:18.360 doing the that initial take action right away when fear. 0:34:18.280 --> 0:34:21.239 Hits I'm totally with you on the whole. I get 0:34:21.239 --> 0:34:22.640 an email, you know how you can like read the 0:34:22.640 --> 0:34:25.239 first line of the email to creeve you, and I'm like, 0:34:25.719 --> 0:34:27.560 I don't think I want to read this right now. 0:34:28.120 --> 0:34:30.440 I like close my browser and try and tell myself 0:34:30.440 --> 0:34:33.040 I didn't see it. Yeah, but then it just ends 0:34:33.120 --> 0:34:35.040 up weighing on me and it just stresses me out. 0:34:35.080 --> 0:34:36.640 Like I'll try and say I'm not going to read 0:34:36.680 --> 0:34:38.200 that till tomorrow, but then I end up reading it 0:34:38.239 --> 0:34:41.040 that night because I just can't, you know, sit with 0:34:41.160 --> 0:34:44.279 the wondering for that much longer. So I agree, just 0:34:44.360 --> 0:34:45.319 pull the band aid off. 0:34:45.800 --> 0:34:48.239 Yeah, so I'm super passive aggressive. I'll actually send an 0:34:48.280 --> 0:34:50.120 email to a friend. I'm like, girl, read you, So 0:34:50.200 --> 0:34:50.920 what is it bad? 0:34:50.960 --> 0:34:51.359 It is it good? 0:34:51.400 --> 0:34:54.080 I've just done a couple of times. 0:34:54.760 --> 0:34:56.399 I'll just get one to ten. What would you say? 0:34:58.000 --> 0:35:02.799 Read the email and then you want to take one more? 0:35:03.440 --> 0:35:05.360 Yeah, we can do one more. Quick question. This is 0:35:05.400 --> 0:35:08.520 from listener Pollette. She says, one, do y'all think is 0:35:08.560 --> 0:35:10.840 a good time to request your interest rate to be 0:35:10.880 --> 0:35:14.840 lowered on your credit card and or a credit limit increase? 0:35:17.160 --> 0:35:19.560 Did you guys know you can request an interest rate 0:35:20.280 --> 0:35:22.120 reduction on your credit card. You can. 0:35:22.239 --> 0:35:26.719 Sometimes I usually say like if right, I think I 0:35:26.719 --> 0:35:28.600 feel like A good time is if you've seen that 0:35:28.640 --> 0:35:31.960 your credit score has increased, because typically the question is, like, 0:35:32.480 --> 0:35:34.920 you know, the reason why you have the interest rate 0:35:35.080 --> 0:35:37.200 is the reflection of where your score basically is. So 0:35:37.200 --> 0:35:39.920 if I've seen, like, hey, my score is doing so 0:35:40.000 --> 0:35:42.440 much better than it was six months ago whenever I 0:35:42.480 --> 0:35:45.719 got this card, let me call, then that's a that's 0:35:45.760 --> 0:35:46.319 a good time. 0:35:46.360 --> 0:35:49.480 But I not after you miss three payments in a row. 0:35:49.719 --> 0:35:51.560 Because I'm like, oh, so glad you call because you 0:35:51.560 --> 0:35:52.640 owe us money. 0:35:52.960 --> 0:35:54.640 Yeah. 0:35:54.920 --> 0:35:57.600 Yeah, but I mean, it doesn't hurt to ask for 0:35:57.640 --> 0:36:00.360 a credit a rate reduction, but when you ask for 0:36:00.360 --> 0:36:03.240 a credit limit increase, just know that it will trigger 0:36:03.239 --> 0:36:05.479 a hard inquiry on your credit report because they're basically 0:36:05.520 --> 0:36:07.840 going to pull your credit again and it could be 0:36:07.880 --> 0:36:12.000 a temporary ding to your credit. Have you found this though? 0:36:12.239 --> 0:36:15.520 Sometimes I've indirectly gotten a credit limit increase by just 0:36:15.640 --> 0:36:19.640 using my card a lot. Yeah, like charging, Yeah, I mean, 0:36:19.680 --> 0:36:23.080 it's it's kind of bad. But sometimes if you actually 0:36:23.200 --> 0:36:26.719 use your card and you you are almost maxing it 0:36:26.760 --> 0:36:28.359 out and you're paying it off each month, but you're 0:36:28.360 --> 0:36:31.360 almost maxing out each month as well. They will eventually 0:36:31.719 --> 0:36:33.640 some credit cards will be checking for that and they 0:36:33.680 --> 0:36:36.040 will bump your limit up. That happened to us with 0:36:36.080 --> 0:36:38.360 our one of our credit cards recently because we've been 0:36:38.360 --> 0:36:41.359 buying so many appliances, and they were like, Okay, we'll 0:36:41.400 --> 0:36:43.520 give you more wiggle room because you need a bigger 0:36:43.560 --> 0:36:44.600 limit on your credit card. 0:36:45.200 --> 0:36:48.239 No, for sure, but you're right, it's not about like, 0:36:48.280 --> 0:36:50.520 it's not like if you're just putting ten dollars on 0:36:50.719 --> 0:36:53.120 a month, but typically they're doing that. They're like, oh, 0:36:53.400 --> 0:36:55.840 you're responsibly using more of your balance. 0:36:55.880 --> 0:36:56.440 We got you. 0:36:56.880 --> 0:36:58.799 But yeah, I mean, there's nothing wrong with asking because 0:36:58.800 --> 0:37:02.120 they will help, like the increase. Although you'll get that 0:37:02.200 --> 0:37:04.360 like little a ding on your credit score, you know, 0:37:04.400 --> 0:37:06.920 it might help with your utilization rate, you know, and 0:37:07.000 --> 0:37:11.040 so you might get like actually like an increase in 0:37:11.360 --> 0:37:15.480 your credit score because now you have unless you're actually. 0:37:15.360 --> 0:37:18.040 Using using your you know, the card to that amount. 0:37:18.120 --> 0:37:19.120 But now you've. 0:37:18.920 --> 0:37:22.080 Got a bigger credit limit and hopefully you're keeping your 0:37:22.080 --> 0:37:26.000 balances low. So the comparison of my credit limit is higher, 0:37:26.360 --> 0:37:28.279 even though our balances might be the same. So that 0:37:28.440 --> 0:37:32.520 difference might might result in a few points in your 0:37:32.520 --> 0:37:35.560 credit score, so usually it kind of like a nets 0:37:35.600 --> 0:37:37.880 out even But I mean, if your credit score is 0:37:38.239 --> 0:37:40.759 DC and you have a decent payment history and you're 0:37:40.800 --> 0:37:44.400 not late, typically their answer is yes. They might not 0:37:44.440 --> 0:37:46.520 do it to the extent that you wanted, but typically 0:37:46.560 --> 0:37:47.440 their answer is yes. 0:37:48.000 --> 0:37:52.840 Yeah, good tip. All right, thank you, thank you b 0:37:52.960 --> 0:37:53.719 A listeners. 0:37:54.200 --> 0:37:56.680 Yes, this was a good one. I like you guys 0:37:56.680 --> 0:37:57.960 have some really great questions. 0:37:59.520 --> 0:38:01.799 Yes, sorry spaced out.