WEBVTT - Release and Rekindle 0:00:04.813 --> 0:00:08.733 Come Back Stories is a production of Inflection Network and iHeartRadio. 0:00:10.053 --> 0:00:12.413 What's going on, everyone, It's Darren Waller tying in from 0:00:12.413 --> 0:00:14.653 the New York Giants, excited to welcome you guys back 0:00:14.693 --> 0:00:17.333 to another episode to come Back Stories. I'm here with 0:00:17.413 --> 0:00:19.813 my boy, my brother, my man Donnie. 0:00:20.093 --> 0:00:21.213 Donnie. How you doing today, Bro? 0:00:21.653 --> 0:00:23.973 I'm doing well. Welcome everyone. 0:00:24.213 --> 0:00:27.493 Yeah, it's great to be here, great to be carrying 0:00:27.533 --> 0:00:32.093 the message of recovery, healing, transformation, and that's exactly what 0:00:32.133 --> 0:00:34.613 we're going to do today on our episode with our 0:00:34.693 --> 0:00:39.573 guest Trent Shelton, who is actually coming back for round two. 0:00:40.213 --> 0:00:41.853 Trent, how you doing, my man? Man? 0:00:41.893 --> 0:00:44.093 I'm doing good, you know. Thanks for having me, Donnie 0:00:44.093 --> 0:00:47.493 and Darren. And it's always great to come back, you know, 0:00:47.613 --> 0:00:51.013 to a podcast. So I'm grateful for you guys having me. 0:00:51.573 --> 0:00:53.093 Since the last episode. 0:00:53.973 --> 0:00:56.493 There's been a lot of adversity, a lot of pain, 0:00:56.853 --> 0:01:00.253 a lot of change, a lot of loss in your life. 0:01:00.333 --> 0:01:02.653 So I think I'll ask you the same question I 0:01:02.973 --> 0:01:05.453 just asked you, but maybe with a little bit more 0:01:05.973 --> 0:01:08.093 sincerity of how are you doing? 0:01:09.573 --> 0:01:12.213 I'm good in this current moment. It's been a tough 0:01:12.733 --> 0:01:15.973 season for me over the last few years. But you know, 0:01:17.173 --> 0:01:19.733 I've been able to battle a lot of things mentally, spiritually, 0:01:20.133 --> 0:01:23.293 and it's laying my relationship closer to God even even more, 0:01:24.453 --> 0:01:26.613 it's allowed me to sit down with this injury and 0:01:26.693 --> 0:01:28.413 be able to connect and focus on the things that 0:01:28.453 --> 0:01:31.533 really matter. So I would say, even in this storm, 0:01:32.013 --> 0:01:35.493 it's definitely helped me find just goodness in my life 0:01:35.493 --> 0:01:36.933 and focus on the things that truly matter. 0:01:37.213 --> 0:01:41.013 What do you feel like matters that maybe didn't matter before? 0:01:41.453 --> 0:01:45.853 Yeah, just man, just presence, Like you know, my family 0:01:45.853 --> 0:01:48.213 obviously matter before, but just even you know, losing my 0:01:48.253 --> 0:01:51.453 mother and then my grandmother, all these things that happened, 0:01:51.493 --> 0:01:54.253 it just made me realize, like, you know, we don't 0:01:54.293 --> 0:01:56.733 have forever. You know, fever comes with an expiration, dayton. 0:01:56.813 --> 0:01:59.173 So it's made me sit down and be able to 0:01:59.213 --> 0:02:01.493 enjoy the small things and things that really matter. The 0:02:01.533 --> 0:02:04.253 memories that could be made, whether playing outside of my 0:02:04.333 --> 0:02:06.973 key kids, are going to a trip, or just doing 0:02:07.253 --> 0:02:09.493 the most random things that mean everything. Because when I 0:02:09.533 --> 0:02:12.493 look back on my life, it's those moments that were 0:02:12.933 --> 0:02:15.813 so simple. I call it simple happiness that I missed 0:02:15.853 --> 0:02:17.613 so much. With those I can't create it no more 0:02:17.653 --> 0:02:20.893 so that simple happiness bug has bit me, and I'm 0:02:20.933 --> 0:02:24.253 like super excited about creating simple moments that mean everything. 0:02:24.613 --> 0:02:27.613 I feel like you have the perspective to be able 0:02:27.653 --> 0:02:30.533 to enjoy the simple moments that come from an adverse 0:02:30.573 --> 0:02:32.573 situation like this, because a lot of people may not 0:02:32.653 --> 0:02:36.813 know that you've been facing pretty substantial adversity much of 0:02:36.813 --> 0:02:39.453 your life. Could you take us through some of your 0:02:39.533 --> 0:02:41.693 childhood and some of the adversity that you faced early 0:02:41.733 --> 0:02:43.533 on for people that haven't heard your story. 0:02:43.813 --> 0:02:47.613 Yeah, for sure, just childhood wise. You know, my child 0:02:47.733 --> 0:02:51.013 was pretty good. I grew up in Louisiana, the youngest 0:02:51.053 --> 0:02:56.653 of two older brothers. My biggest adversity was the thing 0:02:56.693 --> 0:02:58.693 of like having two older brothers, and I always had 0:02:58.693 --> 0:03:01.573 this success guilt where it's like, man, the attention is 0:03:01.613 --> 0:03:04.093 all on me, but those guys helped me become who 0:03:04.093 --> 0:03:06.773 I was, Like it was always me versus them playing 0:03:06.773 --> 0:03:09.693 football and basketball, But it was always that thing of like, man, 0:03:09.733 --> 0:03:11.973 I don't want all their attention. And I think honestly 0:03:12.573 --> 0:03:15.573 that instilled a fear of success for me my whole 0:03:15.733 --> 0:03:18.813 entire life, even now working through this, because it's like, man, 0:03:19.133 --> 0:03:21.133 if I'm successful, like what am I going to lose? 0:03:21.173 --> 0:03:23.053 Are people going to be jealous? Or all these things? 0:03:23.093 --> 0:03:24.893 And so I had to work through that limited belief. 0:03:25.413 --> 0:03:28.613 And my biggest adversity was sports man after college, you know, 0:03:28.653 --> 0:03:31.213 going to NFL as a free agent and bouncing around 0:03:31.253 --> 0:03:34.173 getting cut eight or nine times, being very unsure of 0:03:34.213 --> 0:03:36.613 my situation, you know, day to day, you know, coming 0:03:36.653 --> 0:03:38.413 off the practice field and getting released and like, oh, 0:03:38.413 --> 0:03:40.613 what I'm going to do now? So that was tough, 0:03:40.653 --> 0:03:42.933 and that process me just having a son, like how 0:03:42.973 --> 0:03:44.533 am I going to provide for my son? Who am 0:03:44.533 --> 0:03:47.053 I without the sport? So that was the hardest thing 0:03:47.053 --> 0:03:49.613 of my life, trying to find an identity outside of 0:03:49.653 --> 0:03:51.373 something that's been my identity my whole life. 0:03:51.693 --> 0:03:52.173 I'd like to. 0:03:52.853 --> 0:03:55.613 Ask real quick on the success guild thing, just from 0:03:55.653 --> 0:03:57.893 a personal level. When you said those two words, that 0:03:58.013 --> 0:04:01.173 really resonated with me on a lot of levels. Just 0:04:01.453 --> 0:04:03.773 I had that same thing growing up, and how to 0:04:04.573 --> 0:04:06.213 a brother a year and a half older than me 0:04:06.413 --> 0:04:12.213 who achieved a ton of success, like more than most athletically, 0:04:12.293 --> 0:04:17.573 let's say, but maybe compared to me, it wasn't as successful, 0:04:17.773 --> 0:04:22.373 And so oftentimes I would find myself very uncomfortable receiving 0:04:22.413 --> 0:04:25.573 that acknowledgment, and I've seen that show up in my 0:04:25.773 --> 0:04:29.573 life later on, where when I am acknowledged, I often 0:04:30.013 --> 0:04:33.613 want to diminish or dim my light, if you will. 0:04:33.973 --> 0:04:37.653 So I'm curious for you, like, how have you seen 0:04:37.733 --> 0:04:38.733 that show. 0:04:38.573 --> 0:04:39.333 Up for you later? 0:04:39.413 --> 0:04:41.333 And what was some of the work you did to 0:04:41.413 --> 0:04:42.613 release that old story? 0:04:43.093 --> 0:04:47.613 Yeah? Man, I think even right now, just being totally transparent, 0:04:48.173 --> 0:04:50.693 I'm still working through that because all the compliments that 0:04:50.733 --> 0:04:52.133 I get are you helped me do this, or you 0:04:52.133 --> 0:04:55.613 help me do that, and all the accolades, which really 0:04:55.653 --> 0:04:58.493 doesn't do anything for me, and I've always kind of 0:04:59.053 --> 0:05:02.333 downplayed it and pushed it away. And I realized that 0:05:02.853 --> 0:05:05.173 in my mind that really helped me this. I was like, man, 0:05:05.213 --> 0:05:07.493 I'm not being grateful for the blessings God gave me, 0:05:07.693 --> 0:05:08.773 you know what I mean? Like I should be able 0:05:08.813 --> 0:05:11.053 to under those blessings and feel good about it because 0:05:11.453 --> 0:05:14.533 the people in my life that are truly happy for me, 0:05:14.893 --> 0:05:16.973 they're going to be happy for my success, happy for 0:05:17.053 --> 0:05:19.293 my happiness. And I realized that the wrong people, yeah, 0:05:19.333 --> 0:05:21.293 they might have a problem with it, and that those 0:05:21.333 --> 0:05:25.413 aren't my people. And so I've learned to really acknowledge 0:05:25.413 --> 0:05:28.773 it I've learned to accept it, and it's really helped 0:05:28.813 --> 0:05:32.613 me because I felt like in me not accepting the 0:05:32.693 --> 0:05:35.613 recognition or whatever it may be, it was almost like 0:05:35.693 --> 0:05:38.173 my purpose and my gift became a burden in a sense, 0:05:38.173 --> 0:05:39.933 and I was like, I never wanted that to be 0:05:39.973 --> 0:05:43.973 a thing. So I acknowledge it, but always point it 0:05:44.013 --> 0:05:46.333 back to God as the reason of who I am 0:05:46.373 --> 0:05:48.413 and the purpose he asked for my life. And that's 0:05:48.413 --> 0:05:50.493 really helped me. But to be totally transparent something I 0:05:50.573 --> 0:05:51.613 struggle with to this day. 0:05:52.133 --> 0:05:55.093 I want to stay on what you said about people 0:05:55.333 --> 0:05:58.773 thanking you for what you've done for them. I want 0:05:58.813 --> 0:06:00.933 to ask you, do you feel like it's easy to 0:06:00.973 --> 0:06:04.373 slip into like being so caught up and helping other 0:06:04.573 --> 0:06:07.693 people that sometimes when it's time to maybe help yourself 0:06:07.693 --> 0:06:09.933 that it may be a little difficult Because I find myself. 0:06:09.613 --> 0:06:10.133 In that area. 0:06:10.173 --> 0:06:13.293 Sometimes I'm like people of addiction, like I do so 0:06:13.413 --> 0:06:15.493 much for them, I speak so much into the lives 0:06:15.493 --> 0:06:18.093 of people with mental health awareness, and I'm, you know, 0:06:18.253 --> 0:06:20.133 kind of like out here on the front lines of it. 0:06:20.213 --> 0:06:23.013 But then sometimes it's like when it comes to my 0:06:23.053 --> 0:06:25.013 own things, sometimes I feel like I kind of struggle 0:06:25.013 --> 0:06:25.613 do you feel. 0:06:25.413 --> 0:06:28.693 That way at all? A thousand percent man? And this 0:06:28.893 --> 0:06:31.813 was exposed to me. It was I don't know who 0:06:31.813 --> 0:06:33.373 it was and said this. It might have been like 0:06:33.413 --> 0:06:35.693 ay Mini or something like that, but he had said 0:06:36.253 --> 0:06:40.413 in a tweet that like he has talked about God 0:06:40.613 --> 0:06:42.933 so much to other people that he's forgetting to actually 0:06:42.973 --> 0:06:46.373 talk to God for himself. And that resonated me, like 0:06:46.453 --> 0:06:48.333 on a spiritual level, but also on the personal level. 0:06:48.373 --> 0:06:50.213 It's like, Yeah, I'm doing all these things for everybody else, 0:06:50.293 --> 0:06:52.773 I'm pouring in everybody else. I'm making sure everybody else 0:06:52.813 --> 0:06:55.973 is straight, and I'm not giving that to myself, right 0:06:56.013 --> 0:06:58.533 And so I'm kind of the season right now, and 0:06:58.773 --> 0:07:00.773 it seems like a selfish season, but it's not as 0:07:00.773 --> 0:07:03.693 more self aware. It's just like being my unapologetically, my 0:07:03.773 --> 0:07:06.893 unapologetic season where I'm really focusing on me so I 0:07:06.893 --> 0:07:08.933 can be the best me for the world, for the 0:07:08.933 --> 0:07:11.733 people who follow me, for my family, and making sure 0:07:11.733 --> 0:07:15.813 that I'm giving to myself what I'm trying to instill 0:07:15.813 --> 0:07:18.493 in them. So it's a process, man, that I'm working through. 0:07:18.533 --> 0:07:21.133 But I realized when I didn't do that, my cup 0:07:21.213 --> 0:07:24.333 was super empty and I was running on fumes. So 0:07:25.613 --> 0:07:28.053 I think it's important to sit back and relax, have 0:07:28.133 --> 0:07:30.973 time to disconnect for yourself. And so for me that's 0:07:31.013 --> 0:07:32.653 early in the morning, late at night. I call it 0:07:32.733 --> 0:07:35.693 reflection therapy. To be able to give myself in my 0:07:35.813 --> 0:07:37.173 life what I need. 0:07:37.533 --> 0:07:39.013 Wow, I think that's amazing. 0:07:39.093 --> 0:07:43.053 And this just reaffirms why Darren and I wanted to 0:07:43.093 --> 0:07:46.853 start this podcast where they may see two or three 0:07:47.213 --> 0:07:52.773 individuals up here talking that ultimately are preaching these things 0:07:52.813 --> 0:07:55.653 and teaching these things. And I think you get like 0:07:56.093 --> 0:07:59.853 sixty million listeners every week that are listening to you 0:07:59.933 --> 0:08:02.933 do your thing. But I think it's important to remember 0:08:02.973 --> 0:08:06.653 that we are as teachers or coaches, that we are 0:08:06.693 --> 0:08:09.093 still tripping over the same things that we're teaching all 0:08:09.133 --> 0:08:11.613 the time. Like we are in this work with you 0:08:11.853 --> 0:08:12.853 every single day. 0:08:13.493 --> 0:08:16.533 Absolutely. I mean, once you stop being a student, then 0:08:16.573 --> 0:08:19.413 you stop learning. You know, even if I'm teaching, I 0:08:19.493 --> 0:08:21.413 tell people all the time and they say, like, how 0:08:21.453 --> 0:08:23.093 did you know I'm going through this? And I was like, 0:08:23.333 --> 0:08:26.333 nine out of ten either I've been through it or 0:08:26.413 --> 0:08:28.173 I'm going through it right now. I'm just sharing my 0:08:28.253 --> 0:08:32.493 experience with it. And so I never positioned myself as 0:08:32.733 --> 0:08:34.813 an expert, like I'm an expert to this expert of that, 0:08:35.453 --> 0:08:39.253 my expertise is just going through this progression of life, 0:08:39.293 --> 0:08:41.373 and I'm sharing my journey with you. Yes, it's some 0:08:41.373 --> 0:08:43.493 things I might know a little bit more about, but 0:08:43.573 --> 0:08:45.653 I'm sharing and being an open book. And I think 0:08:45.973 --> 0:08:47.933 that's what you know you talked about the sixty million. 0:08:48.213 --> 0:08:50.413 I think that's what has allowed me to be successful 0:08:50.653 --> 0:08:53.293 is I'm not at the mountaintop telling you how to 0:08:53.333 --> 0:08:55.693 get up here, right even if I've been up there, cool, 0:08:55.813 --> 0:09:00.293 but I'm like back down this struggle with you. And 0:09:00.373 --> 0:09:02.693 so even over the last few years, me being open 0:09:02.733 --> 0:09:04.573 and sharing my journey of like, this is what I'm 0:09:04.573 --> 0:09:06.853 dealing with, this is what I'm going through, but also 0:09:07.373 --> 0:09:09.053 this is how I'm getting through it in real time. 0:09:09.133 --> 0:09:11.773 And I know that builds a connection with those that 0:09:11.853 --> 0:09:13.853 follow you, those that watch you, because it's like we're 0:09:13.853 --> 0:09:18.613 inspired by perfection, but we're impacted through truth, through purpose, 0:09:18.653 --> 0:09:22.733 through progression. So I'm always trying to show people like, yeah, 0:09:22.813 --> 0:09:24.453 this is what I'm going through right now, and this 0:09:24.493 --> 0:09:26.013 is how I'm getting through it, no doubt. 0:09:26.013 --> 0:09:30.413 Man, There's three students that are on this conversation right now, 0:09:30.453 --> 0:09:32.613 that's for sure. But I want to ask you two guys, 0:09:32.653 --> 0:09:35.013 because I know you guys could be teachers on this 0:09:35.053 --> 0:09:39.733 one subject. I know both of you guys had to 0:09:39.773 --> 0:09:42.733 reach a point where it was a transformation of your 0:09:42.773 --> 0:09:47.293 identity from leaving your sports and the pain that that caused. 0:09:47.373 --> 0:09:48.613 I know there are a lot of people out there 0:09:48.613 --> 0:09:51.773 that may have certain dreams or see themselves doing certain things, 0:09:51.813 --> 0:09:54.893 and for some reason or another, they have to go 0:09:54.933 --> 0:09:57.293 into a different direction, and that separation is tough, That 0:09:57.413 --> 0:10:00.373 transition is tough. Can you speak to some of the 0:10:00.413 --> 0:10:05.413 emotions that come and what it looked like practically to 0:10:05.773 --> 0:10:08.613 kind of cut your way through everything that may have 0:10:08.653 --> 0:10:10.093 been trying to hold you right where you were. 0:10:10.773 --> 0:10:15.893 That's the hardest journey that I faced, for sure, is 0:10:16.293 --> 0:10:21.373 trying to understand who I am without that identity put 0:10:21.413 --> 0:10:23.573 on my name right and it's just very, very hard. 0:10:23.613 --> 0:10:25.413 And you know, as an athlete, I mean, I talk 0:10:25.453 --> 0:10:26.973 to athletes all the time, and that's some of the 0:10:27.013 --> 0:10:28.613 things that I help them work through. It's like, man, 0:10:28.653 --> 0:10:30.413 there's more to your life, and we hear these things, 0:10:30.413 --> 0:10:32.213 but sometimes we don't want it to be more to 0:10:32.293 --> 0:10:35.253 our life. I know I didn't at that time. Simply put, 0:10:35.293 --> 0:10:38.173 for me, it came with me facing my reality first, right, 0:10:38.293 --> 0:10:40.933 my reality is that this is over my realities. I 0:10:40.933 --> 0:10:43.133 don't even love it no more my realities. I'm just 0:10:43.173 --> 0:10:44.813 in it because I don't know what else to do 0:10:44.853 --> 0:10:48.413 with my life, and so there has to be another chapter. 0:10:48.693 --> 0:10:52.573 And my biggest fear man was not having another chapter 0:10:52.653 --> 0:10:55.493 to my life outside of this, and so I faced 0:10:55.493 --> 0:10:58.453 that reality. I dealt with it. Always say you'll never 0:10:58.493 --> 0:11:00.973 win your war by running from your battle. So that 0:11:01.133 --> 0:11:04.733 was hard. And then after I faced my reality to 0:11:04.733 --> 0:11:07.893 release some things in my life, you know, and whatever 0:11:07.893 --> 0:11:09.853 that looked like at the time, maybe it was my circle, 0:11:09.973 --> 0:11:12.213 maybe it was the identity, and I had to burn 0:11:12.253 --> 0:11:14.493 those bridges where I knew I couldn't go back. I 0:11:14.533 --> 0:11:17.093 had to move forward. The last part of the process 0:11:17.133 --> 0:11:19.653 is the repair process. And you know, we have these 0:11:19.733 --> 0:11:21.933 voids in our life, but we have to be able 0:11:22.013 --> 0:11:25.373 to repair, and repair to me means putting the strength 0:11:25.413 --> 0:11:29.373 back into a weakness. And that was a very hard process, 0:11:29.413 --> 0:11:32.053 but I ended up finding my purpose. I said, okay, well, 0:11:32.373 --> 0:11:35.093 what qualities can I take from this thing that I 0:11:35.093 --> 0:11:37.573 spent so much of my life on and apply this 0:11:37.613 --> 0:11:41.413 to my real life perseverance, endurance, how to deal with adversity, 0:11:41.533 --> 0:11:43.733 hard work, all the things that we learn as athletes. 0:11:43.933 --> 0:11:45.133 And I say, you know what, I want to put 0:11:45.173 --> 0:11:48.853 this into my current work. And at first, you know, 0:11:48.893 --> 0:11:51.293 it wasn't nothing happening, right, It wasn't like it was 0:11:51.333 --> 0:11:53.773 an external like validation and this is it for your life. 0:11:54.093 --> 0:11:58.933 But I always tell people this and simply put for me, 0:11:58.933 --> 0:12:00.693 because I get this question a lot, like how did 0:12:00.733 --> 0:12:03.613 you know like this transition was right for you? And 0:12:03.693 --> 0:12:06.053 the best way I can put it is it was 0:12:06.093 --> 0:12:09.213 the piece in the midst of uncertainty, in the midst 0:12:09.213 --> 0:12:12.933 of chaos in my soul that I knew this was 0:12:12.973 --> 0:12:14.733 what I was created to do, even though there was 0:12:14.773 --> 0:12:19.013 no external like validation of it. Internally, I knew that 0:12:19.053 --> 0:12:20.933 this was I was created to do. And once I 0:12:20.973 --> 0:12:23.693 really locked into that and stripped away, and I'm still 0:12:23.733 --> 0:12:26.093 stripping away, like I still miss sports. I still that's 0:12:26.133 --> 0:12:28.973 why I tore my achilles now thinking I'm an athlete 0:12:29.013 --> 0:12:32.173 still and trying to play my nephew outside in basketball 0:12:32.173 --> 0:12:35.253 in that rupture. But I'm still working through that process. 0:12:35.293 --> 0:12:37.973 But now I realize that, man, you know, there is 0:12:38.013 --> 0:12:39.813 something more to my life because I listened to that 0:12:39.933 --> 0:12:43.053 piece and not necessarily my circumstances at that time. 0:12:43.373 --> 0:12:48.413 Man, hearing your shift into this other identity, into this 0:12:48.493 --> 0:12:52.333 other life, it just it gets me thinking about how 0:12:52.453 --> 0:12:55.933 rare that is and how many people don't find a 0:12:55.973 --> 0:13:00.453 way out. And for me, the transformation happened because of 0:13:00.493 --> 0:13:03.733 an addiction and because my life was so painful, so 0:13:03.813 --> 0:13:08.493 self destruct hurting so many other people that I had 0:13:08.533 --> 0:13:12.293 to surrender. But that's not where like this new identity 0:13:12.293 --> 0:13:15.413 and this new purpose came from for me. Like I've 0:13:15.453 --> 0:13:21.133 heard your quotes say, your transparency leads to transformation, And 0:13:21.253 --> 0:13:24.933 that was the moment. It was like progressing and gaining 0:13:24.973 --> 0:13:28.373 these spiritual tools, becoming a yoga teacher, becoming a coach, 0:13:28.973 --> 0:13:33.173 and then ultimately sharing my story, sharing the pain, sharing 0:13:33.213 --> 0:13:35.573 the shit. That was the moment that I shared that 0:13:35.653 --> 0:13:38.893 at this event, like everything changed for me. But I'm 0:13:38.893 --> 0:13:41.213 so grateful that I was able to find a way 0:13:41.253 --> 0:13:43.893 out because I work with and talk to so many 0:13:43.933 --> 0:13:47.373 people that haven't found a way out or never found 0:13:47.373 --> 0:13:50.973 a way out and ultimately ended their lives through addiction 0:13:51.333 --> 0:13:55.413 or mental health or suicide because of it. So for 0:13:55.453 --> 0:13:57.373 me to be sitting on here with you two and 0:13:57.453 --> 0:13:58.493 just knowing Trent, you're. 0:13:58.373 --> 0:14:01.053 Doing all the same work. You didn't have the addiction. 0:14:01.213 --> 0:14:04.013 You found a way and kind of had that awareness 0:14:04.093 --> 0:14:07.853 encouraged to step into it. But it's it's been the 0:14:07.893 --> 0:14:09.933 greatest gift and now to be able to teach that 0:14:10.053 --> 0:14:13.973 back to athletes, like I mean, Darren was one of 0:14:14.093 --> 0:14:18.293 the first ones that actually completely stepped totally into this, 0:14:18.413 --> 0:14:20.933 and you know, he was doing music and you know 0:14:21.013 --> 0:14:23.733 now the podcast and his foundation and he has all 0:14:23.773 --> 0:14:27.413 these other things. So football is just a platform to 0:14:27.453 --> 0:14:29.733 reach people, you know, and I'm speaking. 0:14:29.333 --> 0:14:33.093 For him right now, but it's so much bigger than that. 0:14:33.213 --> 0:14:34.693 And all you got to do is just look at 0:14:34.693 --> 0:14:36.973 what number he is this year for the New York 0:14:36.973 --> 0:14:38.773 Football Giants and that says everything. 0:14:38.973 --> 0:14:41.253 Yeah, that's major. And I want to just ask even 0:14:41.333 --> 0:14:43.573 Darren on this like question because I'm just curious, like 0:14:44.213 --> 0:14:46.893 what's your transition because I noticed that about you and 0:14:46.933 --> 0:14:49.813 I love it how you know, you have so many 0:14:49.853 --> 0:14:52.013 different faces that you're like, you know, yes, I'm a 0:14:52.013 --> 0:14:54.813 football player, cool, but you know these are the things 0:14:54.813 --> 0:14:57.013 that I care about. WHI while I have this platform, 0:14:57.053 --> 0:15:00.453 I'm going to push these things, Like is it tough 0:15:00.613 --> 0:15:03.733 doing that, you know, like, is it ever from the 0:15:03.773 --> 0:15:06.173 fans like, oh, like you should be focused on this 0:15:06.293 --> 0:15:08.293 or that, or you should be a football player because 0:15:08.293 --> 0:15:12.093 I know the box put like, how how do you 0:15:12.133 --> 0:15:15.293 handle that part of it? I'm just curious. Yeah, there 0:15:15.733 --> 0:15:16.893 is that. That is a reality. 0:15:17.133 --> 0:15:20.293 So if we look at just like music, for example, 0:15:21.773 --> 0:15:25.013 I've been doing music since I got suspended from the 0:15:25.093 --> 0:15:27.893 league for over a year in twenty seventeen, I was 0:15:27.973 --> 0:15:30.893 really locking it on music and I put an album 0:15:30.893 --> 0:15:32.653 out when I was in Oakland in twenty nineteen, and 0:15:32.693 --> 0:15:34.813 that was when like I really started taking off and 0:15:34.853 --> 0:15:38.253 making a name for myself and my performance on the field. 0:15:38.293 --> 0:15:40.733 And I was playing every game and doing well, and 0:15:40.773 --> 0:15:43.093 people were like, oh, the music is the music is dope, 0:15:43.133 --> 0:15:46.133 Like they're playing in the stadium, Like nobody was really 0:15:46.133 --> 0:15:46.653 saying anything. 0:15:46.693 --> 0:15:47.253 You get a couple of. 0:15:47.213 --> 0:15:49.613 People that was like, all stick to football, like but 0:15:49.813 --> 0:15:52.333 that that's that is what it is. But this past season, 0:15:54.653 --> 0:15:57.773 I was putting out videos and stuff like that that 0:15:57.813 --> 0:16:00.973 I had filmed in the summer before training camp even started, 0:16:01.493 --> 0:16:04.133 and I think I put one out. I'd already scheduled 0:16:04.133 --> 0:16:05.533 to put it out, like on a Friday and it 0:16:05.573 --> 0:16:07.933 was after we had played like a Thursday. 0:16:07.453 --> 0:16:11.333 Game and didn't win the game and I. 0:16:11.693 --> 0:16:14.693 Had been injured, and so people were like, what is this, 0:16:14.973 --> 0:16:17.413 Like you don't care about the game, you don't care 0:16:17.453 --> 0:16:21.173 about the craft, and and so that that kind of 0:16:21.213 --> 0:16:22.933 became a theme. I think like people kind of like 0:16:23.013 --> 0:16:24.893 picked up on that and like it just became like 0:16:24.933 --> 0:16:28.613 a cool thing to do, and it's and it's tough, 0:16:28.653 --> 0:16:30.613 you know. So it's like, you know, people look at 0:16:30.773 --> 0:16:33.333 your performance and it's like, if you're performing to my 0:16:33.453 --> 0:16:37.133 liking and entertaining me to the level that I would like, 0:16:37.293 --> 0:16:38.693 I'm gonna let you live. I'm gonna let you do 0:16:38.733 --> 0:16:41.333 what you do. But if you're not, nah, we need 0:16:41.373 --> 0:16:43.333 to we need to stick to your day job. And 0:16:43.533 --> 0:16:46.093 you know, people don't really know that I'm not doing 0:16:46.133 --> 0:16:49.373 the music to be popular or to have this brand. 0:16:49.493 --> 0:16:51.773 Like this is just me doing something that I love 0:16:51.813 --> 0:16:53.333 to do, I would do for free, I would do 0:16:53.413 --> 0:16:55.933 if I never posted it again. And it's just a 0:16:55.933 --> 0:17:00.133 great balance from everything that football demands, you know. And 0:17:00.413 --> 0:17:04.333 so I've received that. I've received that with a lot 0:17:04.413 --> 0:17:06.773 of things. And you got to kind of learn to 0:17:07.453 --> 0:17:10.293 focus in and be like a lot of these people 0:17:10.293 --> 0:17:12.453 are came in because of the performance. 0:17:12.693 --> 0:17:14.413 Some people are here for me, but some people are 0:17:14.453 --> 0:17:15.293 here for the performance. 0:17:15.293 --> 0:17:17.733 If the performance isn't always there, because I'm an imperfect 0:17:17.813 --> 0:17:20.373 human being and it's not always going to be that way, 0:17:21.293 --> 0:17:23.413 you got to risk being able to lose some of 0:17:23.453 --> 0:17:27.853 that because that's not the deep, affectionate, unconditional love that 0:17:27.893 --> 0:17:31.813 we long for. That's and we have to be able 0:17:31.853 --> 0:17:34.653 to find ways to differentiate from that. But that's not 0:17:34.653 --> 0:17:37.693 to say it wasn't like a little bit stung a 0:17:37.693 --> 0:17:39.493 little bit, you know, because these are people that were 0:17:39.853 --> 0:17:42.253 your fans and support you and and all that. But 0:17:42.813 --> 0:17:46.293 it's all learning, it's all recognizing like, okay, like this 0:17:46.773 --> 0:17:47.333 is what it is. 0:17:47.333 --> 0:17:48.173 But I can't let. 0:17:48.053 --> 0:17:50.693 It deter me from doing what I feel called to 0:17:50.733 --> 0:17:52.293 do because I feel like I have a voice in 0:17:52.333 --> 0:17:53.693 this music. I feel like I have a voice in 0:17:53.773 --> 0:17:55.733 these activities that I do. I'm not just out here 0:17:56.413 --> 0:17:58.253 putting out a whole bunch of nonsense, you know. I 0:17:58.253 --> 0:18:00.653 feel like I have something to say and I want 0:18:00.693 --> 0:18:02.293 to communicate it in the way that I want to 0:18:02.333 --> 0:18:05.653 communicate it. But also at the same time, everything that 0:18:05.693 --> 0:18:07.093 I do, like Donnie a quote you ought to say 0:18:07.133 --> 0:18:09.133 that I love is how you do something is how 0:18:09.173 --> 0:18:12.253 you do everything. And so I'm going to be excellent 0:18:12.253 --> 0:18:14.933 in everything that I do and not short one area 0:18:15.013 --> 0:18:18.173 to put more time and effort into another, and just 0:18:18.773 --> 0:18:20.933 stand tall on my convictions and feel good about what 0:18:20.973 --> 0:18:23.093 I see when I look in the mirror. And because 0:18:23.093 --> 0:18:24.733 I spent way too much of my life worried about 0:18:24.773 --> 0:18:26.653 what other people's opinions were of me. 0:18:27.613 --> 0:18:31.013 Well, there's a lot there bro a couple things Darren 0:18:31.013 --> 0:18:34.213 touched on. Well, when I hear you so clearly articulate 0:18:35.533 --> 0:18:37.813 how you stay focused, how you find your center, like 0:18:37.853 --> 0:18:40.973 that shit doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't it doesn't 0:18:41.053 --> 0:18:44.613 come with a ton of work and discipline and focus 0:18:44.693 --> 0:18:48.133 and whatever the practices are that you've had, and continue it, 0:18:48.413 --> 0:18:51.853 continue to level up to find those practices right to 0:18:51.893 --> 0:18:56.533 be able to eliminate the noise, and yeah, the dedication 0:18:56.653 --> 0:18:58.613 that you've had to find that and a lot of 0:18:58.653 --> 0:19:02.653 it is also getting to the core wound of this 0:19:02.933 --> 0:19:07.133 like not enough, not black enough, different story, right, And 0:19:08.053 --> 0:19:12.813 I wanted to actually segue that into trends story because 0:19:12.853 --> 0:19:15.613