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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: I stopped paying my mother in law's rent because of

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Speaker 2: her actions.

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Speaker 3: Actions have consequences.

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Speaker 2: Indeed, they do something that also this episode has is

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Speaker 2: a trigger warning for physical altercation. I'm Yas thirty six female,

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Speaker 2: and I married my current husband, Carl thirty nine male,

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Speaker 2: less than a year ago. I came to the US

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Speaker 2: on vacation. We met, fell in love, and honestly got

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Speaker 2: married eleven months after meeting. I've been married before, so

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Speaker 2: when I tell you that this is true love, I

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Speaker 2: mean he is my favorite human. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from yasm and underscore Love on the r slash

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Speaker 2: Justie th Under subreddit. And if you want to submit

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Speaker 2: your own stories just like this, go to the r

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Speaker 2: slash Showka Storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 3: I'm Matt, I'm Dakota.

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Speaker 2: We try to give you our best advice, but we

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Speaker 2: haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves. So if you

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Speaker 2: have give us your take in the comments. Let us

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Speaker 2: know what you've done and what you would do. His mother,

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Speaker 2: on the other hand, let's just call her Karen, is

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Speaker 2: more than a piece of work for context. She raised

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Speaker 2: Karl by herself after his father passed away when he

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Speaker 2: was three years old. She had a daughter, but she

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Speaker 2: passed away around nineteen ninety six. I understand her attachment

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Speaker 2: to him to some extent, and I've never gotten between them.

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Speaker 2: That said, he never brought home a girl until he

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Speaker 2: met me. He never lived outside of her house until

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Speaker 2: he met me. Now, if you're thinking, wait, you said

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Speaker 2: your marriage is less than a year old, and you

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Speaker 2: got married almost a year after meeting, you're right. He

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Speaker 2: moved out of her house as an innocent man at

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Speaker 2: thirty eight years old when we met. She threw a

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Speaker 2: fit when he moved in together, and she said he

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Speaker 2: was going to abandon her. Then, while we were setting

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Speaker 2: up our first apartment, she came by and demanded he

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Speaker 2: take her to some game night he had promised to attend.

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Speaker 2: He went with her, but he told her he didn't

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Speaker 2: like the way she did that, as she was rather

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Speaker 2: rude towards me when she demanded he come with her.

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Speaker 2: Long story short, they went. She got mad, fell on

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Speaker 2: her event seventy five year old behind and I had

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Speaker 2: to drop everything to be by her side since my

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Speaker 2: husband is on the spectrum and was over stimulated and

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Speaker 2: couldn't handle the hospital chaos.

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Speaker 4: Dang, this is really unfortunate because it just seems like

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Speaker 4: clearly like mother in law needs like some therapy.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if there was something there before, but

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Speaker 2: it's stemming to her loss and she's lashing onto the

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Speaker 2: one family she has left. She feels like she's being

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Speaker 2: robbed of her family by op from Bayaz, and I

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Speaker 2: can understand why she's feeling hostile. Yeah, However, she's doing

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Speaker 2: this the wrong way and she needs to let her

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Speaker 2: son live his own life. Fast forward to why I

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Speaker 2: am now in a very livid state. My mother came

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Speaker 2: to visit me for a few months. When we were

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Speaker 2: taking her back to the airport, Karen decided she wanted

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Speaker 2: to come along to get out of her apartment for

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Speaker 2: a while, as it was about four hours round trip

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Speaker 2: to and from the airport. During the drive, Carl made

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Speaker 2: a driving mistake. He's a new driver and unable to

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Speaker 2: handle his emotions. He was being really hard on himself.

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Speaker 2: My mom attempted to say something supportive and he snapped

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Speaker 2: at her. I was offended by that, but he immediately

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Speaker 2: recognized it and apologized. I didn't want to talk good

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Speaker 2: about it then, so I just said no comment and

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Speaker 2: kept the quiet the rest of the journey. He misinterpreted

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Speaker 2: my response and kept bugging me to talk to him.

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Speaker 2: After we arrived at the airport, Karen said we should

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Speaker 2: quit acting like children. Carl snapped and said he isn't

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Speaker 2: a child. She followed up by saying she wasn't just

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Speaker 2: talking about him and asked how many times he had

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Speaker 2: to apologize. At this point, I was really upset at

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Speaker 2: her meddling, so I asked him to address it. He

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Speaker 2: spoke to her privately, and her response was that he

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Speaker 2: wasn't her boss and she'd say whatever she wanted now.

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Speaker 2: I was pissed and felt like he couldn't handle tough

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Speaker 2: conversations with his mother. However, she had involved me in

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Speaker 2: her rude comments before, so I decided I'd say something myself.

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Speaker 2: When we were almost at her apartment dropping her off,

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Speaker 2: I told her I'd like to say something. I explained

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Speaker 2: that what she did back there was rude and inappropriate,

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Speaker 2: and I asked her not to do that again.

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Speaker 3: She doubled down. She said that if I.

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Speaker 2: Weren't acting like such a kid, she wouldn't.

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Speaker 3: Have to say anything.

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Speaker 2: I told her that I didn't think she understood what

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Speaker 2: I was saying. This was a marriage and I was

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Speaker 2: setting a boundary. She would not speak to me like

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Speaker 2: that again and would not butt into anything my husband

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Speaker 2: and I had between us. She asked what I was

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Speaker 2: going to do about it, and said she would say

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Speaker 2: whatever she wanted to say.

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Speaker 3: You just gotta love that.

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Speaker 4: It's like, so, I'll do whatever I want, and then

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Speaker 4: it's like, wait, I have consequences.

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Speaker 5: Though.

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Speaker 2: It's so funny that she's mad at them for being

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Speaker 2: childish when she's being worse. She is the child in

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Speaker 2: this scenario. Straight, I told her I said what I said,

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Speaker 2: and if she continued across the boundary, her actions would

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Speaker 2: have consequences.

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Speaker 3: This is a real fa foam moment.

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Speaker 6: Yes, that's right.

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Speaker 2: She cursed to me, called me names, and said Carl

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Speaker 2: was her son. I cursed back and told her not

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Speaker 2: to disrespect me in my own car. By this time,

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Speaker 2: CARLT had pulled up to her apartment, so I told

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Speaker 2: her to get out of my car and that she

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Speaker 2: was no longer welcome in my home or MySpace until

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Speaker 2: she learned some respect. She refused to get out and

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Speaker 2: told me to make her. I got out of the

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Speaker 2: car and went around to open the door, telling her

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Speaker 2: firmly to get out, because by this time I was

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Speaker 2: seeing red. The situation escalated when she became aggressive and

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Speaker 2: started yelling and gesturing wildly at me. In the chaos,

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Speaker 2: she ended up with some minor bruising on her hands.

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Speaker 2: She has aphib and is on blood thinners, so she

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Speaker 2: bruises easily. Carl was trying to calm the situation down

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Speaker 2: and keep the neighbors from calling the police. Even after

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Speaker 2: we got home and Carl called her to tell her

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Speaker 2: he didn't appreciate what happened, she insisted I had attacked her.

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Speaker 2: Since this happened yesterday, Carl has told her she's no

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Speaker 2: longer welcome in our home and she's not admitted to

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Speaker 2: talk to me or come near me, and she'll only

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Speaker 2: get dutiful check ins from him, but no hangout, movie

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Speaker 2: dates or company because he's disappointed in her and disgusted

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Speaker 2: by her behavior.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she foed, she found out.

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Speaker 4: And again it's just sad because clearly she like, it's

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Speaker 4: just kind of you know she she's hopelessly like attached

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Speaker 4: to her son because of you know, we have things

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Speaker 4: that have happened in her past and she just needs

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Speaker 4: to work through that to create a healthy, you know,

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Speaker 4: connection there.

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Speaker 6: But she seems very stubborn.

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Speaker 2: Her response was that it was fine as long as

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Speaker 2: her rent was paid, and she asked him not to

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Speaker 2: cut her out of his life if he didn't want

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Speaker 2: her to go to an empty grave, making him promise

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Speaker 2: to visit her today. I found out that this woman

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Speaker 2: has been telling everyone that.

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Speaker 3: I hurt her.

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Speaker 2: I got so mad I called her and left a

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Speaker 2: voicemail asking her to stop and reminding her that the

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Speaker 2: apartment she lives in I was the one who took

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Speaker 2: her to sign up for it. It's elderly housekeeping and

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Speaker 2: government assisted, so she pays under two hundred dollars for

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Speaker 2: rent versus the six hundred she used to pay out

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Speaker 2: of her small social Security checks. I reminded her that

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Speaker 2: I spent over two hours on the phone for her

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Speaker 2: with customer service when she moved in, making sure to

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Speaker 2: talk to a supervisor to fix her TV and phone

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Speaker 2: connection for her comfort. I told her she was ungrateful

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Speaker 2: and that while I didn't want to talk to her either,

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Speaker 2: she should stop spreading lies. She called Carl and told

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Speaker 2: him that if I ever called her again or left

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Speaker 2: another message, she was going to have me arrested for pestment.

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Speaker 2: She knows I'm currently going through an adjustment of status

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Speaker 2: after my marriage, so I can't have any negative reports

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Speaker 2: on my record or it will mess up my process.

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Speaker 3: There's a little bit of an update, but let's let's

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Speaker 3: talk about this. We got to talk about this.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, No, it's really I think unfortunate that it just

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Speaker 4: seems to be escalating on both sides.

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Speaker 6: And I think, yeah, she's you know, she's like seventy.

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Speaker 4: Five, she's pretty much she's probably set in her ways

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Speaker 4: very much so.

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Speaker 6: And yeah, I think.

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Speaker 2: There's probably, considering her age and her behavior, there might

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Speaker 2: be some prejudice against op because op is not from

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Speaker 2: whatever country they're in. Yeah, so there could be some

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Speaker 2: aspect of that. It's wild to me that she's so

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Speaker 2: willing to ruin Opie's chance at living in this country,

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Speaker 2: like mess up her life and her son's life and

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Speaker 2: their marriage over something so small.

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Speaker 4: I doubt she'd be able to do because it's like

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Speaker 4: what a phone call to someone who's like spreading actual

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Speaker 4: lies about you. It's like, I know it would, it

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Speaker 4: still would. It could complicate the process, but like it's crazy.

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Speaker 4: It's just I think, probably moving forward, Carl's gonna have

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Speaker 4: to be the one to handle this.

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Speaker 6: But yeah, she's she honestly, she just needs help.

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Speaker 2: She needs a hobby, she needs friends, she needs a cat.

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Speaker 3: Or a dog. She's some thing besides just her son.

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Speaker 3: Some lawn shrimp, yeah, some gritters, some creepy crawlers perhaps.

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Speaker 2: All right, here's where my pettiness comes in. Though Carl

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Speaker 2: isn't the one who pays her rent. He doesn't even

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Speaker 2: know the log in information. I decided that I'm not

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Speaker 2: paying her rent anymore, nor am I giving Carl the

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Speaker 2: login info. I told him to tell her that I

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Speaker 2: will no longer be doing her any favors, so she

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Speaker 2: should start putting aside her money to cover her rent,

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Speaker 2: because we are a unit and his money is my

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Speaker 2: money too. My family is telling me not to do that,

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Speaker 2: because at the end of the day, she's still his mother.

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Speaker 2: But I feel like it's the only thing I can

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Speaker 2: do to let her see the seriousness of her actions.

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Speaker 2: I am so hurt by the whole thing that I'm fuming.

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Speaker 2: I told Carl today that I feel like I might

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Speaker 2: have to leave him and let her have him in

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Speaker 2: order to be okay again. The fact that she has

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Speaker 2: put her hands on me and then manipulated the whole

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Speaker 2: story makes me hate her, and I don't want to

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Speaker 2: be with him and hate his mother. So this is

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Speaker 2: hard for me. So Reddit, I will take my judgment.

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Speaker 2: Am I wrong for choosing to stop paying my mother

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Speaker 2: in law's rent? And we have the comments?

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Speaker 4: Honestly, gut check, I feel like it is not necessarily

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Speaker 4: like wrong on principle, but like in terms of like

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Speaker 4: what's going to make your life easier or smoother, I

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Speaker 4: feel like it is just going to create more friction

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Speaker 4: and more right, more heat.

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Speaker 2: There is that aspect of it, all right, So comment one,

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Speaker 2: have a sit down with your partner and both of

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Speaker 2: you figure out how you're going to proceed from here.

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Speaker 2: Not having her at your home if she can't respect

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Speaker 2: you or around you when she behaves badly is a

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Speaker 2: fair thing. But you don't need to get petty sit

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Speaker 2: down and do the budget together your funds and his

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Speaker 2: funds and how his and your debts are paid what's

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Speaker 2: left over from each of your salaries is your own money.

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Speaker 2: If he wants to pay his mother's rent with from

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Speaker 2: his fun money, then that's a hymn thing. Give him

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Speaker 2: all her information he needs and let him figure it out.

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Speaker 3: His mother his.

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Speaker 2: Action plan going forward, Block her and let him figure

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Speaker 2: it out. If he does not enough, well, that's not

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Speaker 2: your problem. If he does not want to pay her rent,

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Speaker 2: then it's not your problem either. And uh, this story

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Speaker 2: is no longer your problem because that's the end of

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Speaker 2: it and no more updates.

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Speaker 4: I think that's kind of the right move, though, is

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Speaker 4: you're gonna have to sit down with your partner. It's

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Speaker 4: it doesn't right, It's not really a unilateral thing you

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Speaker 4: could do.

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Speaker 6: It's and it be like cool and smooth, I guess,

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Speaker 6: like because.

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Speaker 2: I mean, as much as Carl is on her side

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Speaker 2: far now, if things get really bad with his mom,

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Speaker 2: like if she gets kicked out of the housing, if

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Speaker 2: she doesn't have the funds for like groceries or to

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Speaker 2: get medical care, if something happens because of this decision,

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Speaker 2: as much as she may have deserved it, Carl is

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Speaker 2: always gonna, in some part of him possibly blame you

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Speaker 2: for it.

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Speaker 6: Right, because it's.

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Speaker 3: Still his mom. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Like, and imagine she she loses that housing and now

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Speaker 4: where's Oh now she hasks to live with y'all. Like you, oops,

255
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Speaker 4: you just played yourself. Yeah, that could end up happening.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, just make sure y'all are on the same

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Speaker 4: page before you make any explicit moves. You know, you say, hey,

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Speaker 4: I don't want any of my money going to her,

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Speaker 4: and I know we're a unit, but like, you're gonna

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Speaker 4: have to figure out how to do that on your own,

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Speaker 4: because why should I pay the rent for a woman

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Speaker 4: who is your mother? But she's actively telling people that

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Speaker 4: I attacked her.

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Speaker 3: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to

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Speaker 3: the next one.

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Speaker 4: My mother in law repeatedly ignored our boundaries, and I'm

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Speaker 4: the one she blames for it.

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Speaker 2: I like playing games, but the blame game is not

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Speaker 2: one of them.

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Speaker 6: That's right, And.

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Speaker 4: There is a trigger warning here for heavy drinking and

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Speaker 4: emotional abuse. I thirty five female, started dating my husband,

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Speaker 4: thirty male, in twenty nineteen. We fell for each other

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Speaker 4: hard and fast. We bonded over our similar unfortunate upbringings

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Speaker 4: and how we were working hard to break our generational traumas.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user mental Pickle two

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Speaker 4: three five three direct from the r slash okay storytime subreddit,

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00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,600
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 4: on over to that subreddit and submit them there. I'm Dakota,

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Speaker 4: I'm Matt, and we're here to give good advice googly,

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Speaker 4: but we don't always have all the answers. We only

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Speaker 4: know what we would do in any given situation, So

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Speaker 4: if you would do something different, let us know in

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Speaker 4: the comments.

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Speaker 3: OHP says.

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Speaker 4: We talked about our difficult parents, and some of the

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Speaker 4: things he revealed to me were extremely concerning. He said

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Speaker 4: that they were in a better spot now and that

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Speaker 4: his mother had apologized for their past. I have a

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Speaker 4: very protective nature and instantly felt a sort of way

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Speaker 4: about her, but tried to push that aside the best

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Speaker 4: I could to not feel any resentment towards her for

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Speaker 4: what she had put my husband through. I first met

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Speaker 4: my future mother in law fifty two when she and

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Speaker 4: my husband's sister twenty three, Nina, came to visit him

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Speaker 4: over a year later after he moved in with me.

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Speaker 4: Nina was lovely and future mother in law was nice enough,

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Speaker 4: although future mother in law definitely had the look and

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Speaker 4: behavior of someone who had used hard substances or lived

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Speaker 4: a hard life. Again, I pushed what I knew about

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Speaker 4: her out of my mind and tried my best to

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Speaker 4: be open to her being changed, and the visit went

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Speaker 4: off without a hitch. In twenty twenty two, we were

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Speaker 4: getting married and decided to have a destination wedding. Husband

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Speaker 4: had talked to future mother in law at the end

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Speaker 4: of the previous year and said that she had already

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Speaker 4: picked and said she had already purchased the plane tickets

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Speaker 4: for her and her family to get to the wedding.

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Speaker 4: As the wedding was approaching, husband decided to check in

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Speaker 4: again to make sure everything was all set. After his

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Speaker 4: conversation with future mother in law, he seemed agitated, so

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Speaker 4: I asked him what was wrong. He then revealed that

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Speaker 4: future mother in law admitted to him that she actually

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Speaker 4: hadn't purchased the tickets and his mother and siblings wouldn't

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Speaker 4: be coming.

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Speaker 6: What are we doing? Why are we doing that?

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Speaker 2: Come on, this is the talksity and lies. This is

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Speaker 2: not the way to set up a healthy relationship, so.

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Speaker 4: OPI continues, I could tell that he was extremely saddened

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Speaker 4: by this and tried to be supportive, but this honestly

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Speaker 4: infuriated me. Unfortunately, at that point, so close to the wedding,

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Speaker 4: there was nothing that we could do, since we didn't

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Speaker 4: have enough time to try and make more money to

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Speaker 4: help them.

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Speaker 3: With the tickets.

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Speaker 4: I had worked out a way to try to make

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Speaker 4: them still feel involved by having my mother livestream the

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Speaker 4: wedding so that they could watch and feel like they

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Speaker 4: were a part of it. The wedding was beautiful, although

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Speaker 4: riddled with its own issues. After rewatching the video my

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Speaker 4: mom had recorded, I realized she had unfortunately filmed an

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Speaker 4: extremely large pile of garbage near where we parked because

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Speaker 4: she chose to start recording far too early. I was

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Speaker 4: so embarrassed by this that I tried to edit the video,

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Speaker 4: but unfortunately there was no way to change it at

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Speaker 4: this point, and the only thing I could do was

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Speaker 4: set it to private. On our second day of our honeymoon,

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Speaker 4: husband it's a call from his mother in law stating

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Speaker 4: that the wedding was beautiful, but she was upset because

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Speaker 4: she was trying to show other people the video and

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Speaker 4: couldn't find it. When we told her why, she complained

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Speaker 4: that it wasn't that big of a deal and I

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Speaker 4: should just make the video public again so that she

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Speaker 4: could share it with her friends, which, honestly I kind

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Speaker 4: of agree. It's like, as long as it wasn't the

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Speaker 4: pile of trash the whole wedding, then what are we

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Speaker 4: You know, it's not that big of a deal. I

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00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,320
Speaker 4: was honestly quite irritated with that, since if she had

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Speaker 4: actually been there, then she could have filmed her own video,

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Speaker 4: so I wouldn't have needed to live stream it in

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Speaker 4: the first place.

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Speaker 3: I told her that I wasn't comfortable with.

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Speaker 4: Releasing the video and that I had shared many photos

354
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Speaker 4: that she could show instead.

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Speaker 3: After we returned, mother in law called my.

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Speaker 4: Husband and insisted she would throw us a reception since

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Speaker 4: she was unable to attend the wedding. We reluctantly agreed,

358
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Speaker 4: although we had a firm boundary that we would not

359
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:56,000
Speaker 4: budge on no booze because father in law was struggling

360
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,440
Speaker 4: with his drinking. She agreed and planned the trip for her,

361
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Speaker 4: her boy boyfriend, and his son, husband's kid brother Anson eighteen,

362
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Speaker 4: their adopted brother Will eighteen, their best friend, also eighteen,

363
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Speaker 4: One of their girlfriends seventeen or eighteen, and her kid's

364
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:18,359
Speaker 4: sister fourteen or sixteen. Husband's older brother, Aaron, his girlfriend Bianca,

365
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Speaker 4: both thirty three, and their two children, two male and

366
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Speaker 4: four male, were there, as well as Nina and her

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Speaker 4: boyfriend Ryan.

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Speaker 3: What a cast.

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Speaker 4: During our first visit with them at the house they rented,

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Speaker 4: I noticed that she had, in fact brought lots of

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Speaker 4: boxed wine and booze, even though we had specifically asked

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Speaker 4: her not to. I was honestly mortified that she was

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Speaker 4: so blatantly ignoring our boundaries at a party that she insisted.

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Speaker 3: Was for us.

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Speaker 4: On day two of the reception, husband's father came with

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Speaker 4: his girlfriend, who honestly seemed like a very sweet woman.

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Speaker 4: Mother in law felt differently about her. She proceeded to

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Speaker 4: talk badly about this poor woman to me while I

379
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Speaker 4: was trying to keep myself busy. Mother in law criticized

380
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Speaker 4: everything from father in law's girlfriend's personality to the way

381
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Speaker 4: she looked. After father in law's parents showed up, mother

382
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,639
Speaker 4: in law commented on how much they loved her and

383
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Speaker 4: how she would mess with father in law's girlfriend. She

384
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,800
Speaker 4: walked up to them and tried to be as personable

385
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Speaker 4: to them as possible, taking all the air out of

386
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Speaker 4: the room and not really leaving any space for father

387
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,720
Speaker 4: in law's girlfriend to try to get a word in edgewise.

388
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,680
Speaker 4: I was truly flabbergasted. Mother in law had not only

389
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Speaker 4: broken off her relationship with father in law many years ago,

390
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,600
Speaker 4: but had also moved on. She had even gotten married

391
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Speaker 4: and had more kids. I was beyond annoyed that this

392
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Speaker 4: reception mother in law was insisting to have for us

393
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:46,120
Speaker 4: was getting turned into just another excuse to party wildly,

394
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Speaker 4: and it certainly didn't feel like it was for us anymore.

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Speaker 4: When husband said that it was time for us to go,

396
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Speaker 4: I made us two plates, but didn't go overboard since

397
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Speaker 4: they would give us all the rest of the food anyway.

398
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Speaker 4: The next morning, I woke up and drove back over

399
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Speaker 4: to the house they were staying at to collect the

400
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 4: rest of the food. By the time we had gotten there,

401
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 4: only Nina and Ryan were still at the house, and

402
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,200
Speaker 4: they informed us that the rest of the crew had

403
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,040
Speaker 4: already taken off. When we asked to go get the

404
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,560
Speaker 4: rest of the food from the house, they let us

405
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Speaker 4: know that mother in law had already thrown it all away.

406
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Speaker 2: Are you serious this is there is so much malice

407
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 2: here and just active pettiness in this woman. Yeah, and

408
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 2: I don't know what to what end it goes, because

409
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 2: it's not only a hurting daughter in law, but it's

410
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:37,800
Speaker 2: also hurting her own son.

411
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:38,360
Speaker 3: Yeah.

412
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:42,960
Speaker 4: It's just literally a person entirely driven by spite no

413
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 4: matter who it impacts around her. I was absolutely stunned.

414
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 4: The only gift that she had offered was the food

415
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 4: that they had brought, and they just threw it all away.

416
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,399
Speaker 4: At this point, I was infuriated. She knew we are

417
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 4: extremely environmentally conscious and how much we hated waste and

418
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,919
Speaker 4: how strapped for cash we were, but she did it anyway.

419
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 4: At the end of twenty twenty two, husband's youngest brother

420
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,400
Speaker 4: passed away in a horrific accident. Oh my god, I'm

421
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 4: so sorry. Husband was extremely rattled from the news and

422
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 4: struggled mentally with it for a while. At one point,

423
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,400
Speaker 4: things had gotten so bad that I decided to call

424
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,840
Speaker 4: mother in law, as I was nowhere near equipped to

425
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,439
Speaker 4: try to help him with this level of grief. She

426
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 4: came the next day to pick him up. Husband spent

427
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,159
Speaker 4: about a week with her before he called me to

428
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 4: let me know he was coming home. I let him

429
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 4: get settled for a few days before asking if they

430
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 4: talked through what was going on. To my complete surprise,

431
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 4: he said that they never even talked about anything. In

432
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 4: the beginning of twenty twenty three, I was involved in

433
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,440
Speaker 4: a very bad accident which left me disabled and severely

434
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 4: limited physically. That summer was their annual camping trip in

435
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 4: our area, and with me being in an extreme amount

436
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,880
Speaker 4: of pain, I wasn't able to visit, but husband did

437
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 4: and was not pleased, as you want pause and say

438
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, Opie, that's just that's rough. Husband was

439
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 4: upset that his family, mother in law in particular, was

440
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 4: drinking and smoking heavily, and brought a bunch of single

441
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:20,000
Speaker 4: use garbage, especially water bottles, and were being extremely disrespectful

442
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,440
Speaker 4: to the campsite that he had tediously cleaned for hours

443
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 4: before they got there so that they could have a

444
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 4: good experience. Last year, husband had a mental health crisis

445
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,160
Speaker 4: where I reached out to mother in law again for help.

446
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,880
Speaker 4: She arrived the next day with her boyfriend and husband

447
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 4: insisted on making us some food, so while he cooked,

448
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,040
Speaker 4: I sat at the table with mother in law and

449
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,680
Speaker 4: her boyfriend. I don't remember how the conversation of politics

450
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 4: came up, but she started expressing some concerning views and

451
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:53,120
Speaker 4: spewing misinformation. I very calmly disagreed with her and fact

452
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,639
Speaker 4: checked her multiple times, to which she just huffed and

453
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 4: moved on. She then went off talking about the next

454
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,199
Speaker 4: entence is crazy because she drops welfare queens in the ghetto,

455
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 4: and then husband had to gently remind her that she

456
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:11,159
Speaker 4: was actually on welfare herself. Oh my god, it's just

457
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 4: yes again. I think you hit the nail on the head.

458
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,920
Speaker 4: She's saying that just because she wants to feel better

459
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,159
Speaker 4: about herself, and then she'll probably justify be like, well

460
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,399
Speaker 4: I actually need it versus these other people. It's like

461
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,359
Speaker 4: you'll know these other people, You'll know what's going on.

462
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 4: It's like ah. Then mother in law said something along

463
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,200
Speaker 4: the lines of I just think that people need to

464
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 4: suck it up. When the topic of mental health came up,

465
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 4: she was literally called out there because her son is

466
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 4: suffering with his mental health, and she would say something

467
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 4: so callous with him being right there. Honestly disgusted me.

468
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 4: I tried to remain calm the best I could and

469
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 4: explained toxic masculinity hurts men too. It's an unrealistic ideal,

470
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 4: and it is why more men take their own lives

471
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 4: than women, because they are told to man up and

472
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 4: hide their feelings. Even her boyfriend agreed with me, and

473
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,880
Speaker 4: I went on to say that you don't just.

474
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 3: Get over trauma just like that.

475
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 4: She actually snapped at me and said you don't just

476
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 4: get over your son's passing and stared daggers at me.

477
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 6: WHOA.

478
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 4: Honestly, I was shocked and simply said, I know this

479
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 4: woman had no idea what I had gone through and

480
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,240
Speaker 4: yet found it appropriate to talk down to me about

481
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 4: understanding trauma as if it was a contest. I tried

482
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 4: to remain cordial, but after dinner they decided to leave anyway,

483
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 4: even though they had already promised to play card games

484
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 4: with us. It's just so weird, but to play like

485
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 4: the yeah, but my trauma's worse when it's like, also,

486
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 4: that was your son's brother who passed away, yeah, and

487
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 4: it's like and also he's in a mental health crisis

488
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,360
Speaker 4: or what has been, and you being like, yeah, that's

489
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,680
Speaker 4: all fake, made up. You should just like tough it out.

490
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 4: Why are you even here? Like you're not even here

491
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 4: to support your son. You're just here to make him

492
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,640
Speaker 4: feel worse. The next morning, they were going to take

493
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,880
Speaker 4: us out out, but I declined, saying I didn't feel

494
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 4: up to it. I honestly just couldn't be around this

495
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 4: woman anymore. At this point, after her husband returned home,

496
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,239
Speaker 4: he told me that this woman not only did not

497
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 4: address the issue that she was there for once again,

498
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 4: but in fact went on a tangent about how I

499
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,679
Speaker 4: was the one at fault for being nothing but a

500
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 4: nag and was obviously the source of all of his problems.

501
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 4: That was the point where I was officially done with her.

502
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 4: The whole thing caused an argument between husband and me

503
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 4: about him not correcting her. He then called mother in law,

504
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 4: and she just told him to get in the car

505
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 4: and drive away, which is my car, not his. By

506
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 4: the way, when I heard him preparing to leave, I

507
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 4: hurried out there as quickly as I could in my condition,

508
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 4: told him to give me my keys and told him

509
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 4: to walk if he wanted to go. He had no

510
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 4: right to take my car in his mental state. After

511
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 4: the argument, I sought comfort in talking to Bianca, as

512
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 4: she had experienced much of the same animosity from mother

513
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 4: in law Refresher Bianca is the older brother Aaron's.

514
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,919
Speaker 3: Girlfriend ah okay.

515
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 4: After the argument, I sought comfort in talking to Bianca

516
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 4: as she had experienced much of the same animosity from

517
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 4: mother in law. Refresher Bianca is the older brother Aaron's.

518
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,719
Speaker 3: Girlfriend ah okay.

519
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 4: I admit I was extremely harsh about mother in law

520
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,119
Speaker 4: and about husband for not standing up for me, but

521
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 4: she completely understood and sided with me as she had

522
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 4: experienced the same from erin.

523
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 3: So anyway, let's continue this year.

524
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 4: Nina and Ryan also decided not to attend their annual

525
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:47,360
Speaker 4: camp out for reasons very similar to husbands. Instead, they

526
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 4: stayed with us for several days and started telling us

527
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 4: some horror stories of what it was like living with

528
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 4: mother in law, such as her drinking habits. It came

529
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 4: to light that mother in law said the N word

530
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 4: both variations, over and over, asking which one was right

531
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 4: quote unquote for context. I am mixed, My father is

532
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 4: black and Indigenous, and I absolutely do not feel comfortable

533
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 4: saying that word, nor do I like when non black

534
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 4: people think that they can say it.

535
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 3: Husband and I found out two months.

536
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 4: Or so prior that we were actually expecting a little

537
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 4: one do in twenty twenty six, congratulations. We had chosen

538
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 4: not to tell anyone until we were past the danger zone,

539
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 4: but we were highly considering who we would tell or

540
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 4: be comfortable having in our child's life. We told Nina

541
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 4: and Ryan under the condition that they not tell mother

542
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,400
Speaker 4: in law, to which they agreed and seemed supportive.

543
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 3: Husband and I talked after they had left, and I told.

544
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 4: Him that he was welcome to see mother in law

545
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 4: all he wanted, but not to expect me to or

546
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 4: to interact with her, and neither would our child after

547
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 4: everything we had learned. He understood, but said he had

548
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 4: to at least try to talk to her in hopes

549
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 4: that she would change her behavior.

550
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 2: She's how old now she's not she's not gonna change,

551
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,120
Speaker 2: and she's actively looking for ways to be careful. Because

552
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:14,879
Speaker 2: there's no way you don't know that that word is

553
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:20,400
Speaker 2: not acceptable, and especially talking to your daughter in law

554
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 2: who is mixed race, there's no way that you think

555
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 2: that this is okay.

556
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 4: I told my husband the only way I would ever

557
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 4: consider talking to her again was if she apologized.

558
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 3: The annual camp out was not long after your sister

559
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 3: in law's visit.

560
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 4: I decided to make myself scarce and stay with my

561
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 4: friend for the week so I wouldn't be around if

562
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 4: they decided to pop in. Towards the end of their visit,

563
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 4: Husband pulled mother in law aside and had the conversation

564
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,719
Speaker 4: with her. She completely denied needing help or having a

565
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 4: problem and refused to apologize or to acknowledge anything. She

566
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 4: even dragged the rest of the camping party into the

567
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 4: private conversation in order.

568
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 3: To get back up. Oh my god, horrific.

569
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 4: My husband ended up having to defend himself against six

570
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 4: or seven people who were all defending her and telling him.

571
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 6: He was wrong.

572
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,199
Speaker 4: They even left early without saying goodbye because she was

573
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 4: so upset at being confronted. A few days later, I

574
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 4: received a text from Nina saying that we needed to

575
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 4: talk and ideally husband would be present. I already had

576
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 4: a bad feeling about how this was going, and I

577
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 4: informed Husband. I asked him to make it clear to

578
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:33,199
Speaker 4: her that I had not even been present during the conversation.

579
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 4: He did and set a time for the conversation with Nina, Ryan, husband,

580
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 4: and myself. It went worse than I imagined. Husband explained the

581
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 4: conversation he had with mother in law and how it went.

582
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 4: He also apologized for letting the fact that they were

583
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 4: the ones who told us about hearing the N word

584
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 4: slip when the group of them were ganging up on him.

585
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 4: They were upset about that because mother in law had

586
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 4: immediately turned on them once the group got home, which

587
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 4: made tensions high in the house since they were still

588
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 4: living with mother in law, That was completely understandable. She

589
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 4: accepted his apology, but then moved on to asking why

590
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 4: he was cutting mother in law off. He insisted he

591
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 4: had never said that, and in fact, when mother in

592
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 4: law asked him directly, he said, I don't want to

593
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 4: do that. She then said that they were uncomfortable hiding

594
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 4: the fact that we were pregnant from mother in law

595
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 4: and didn't know if they could keep it from her,

596
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 4: even after already promising they would do. You know how

597
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 4: easy it is, You just like shut your mouth about

598
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 4: that and not say it and go WHOA.

599
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 3: I had no idea.

600
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 6: Come on, you're going to play that as a leverage card.

601
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 6: Now it's called acting.

602
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 2: It's also for the good of the child and the

603
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 2: good of your family.

604
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 4: I reiterated my issues with mother in law and why

605
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 4: I was not comfortable with telling her about our pregnancy

606
00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 4: because of the way she treated me, calling me ano

607
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 4: and blaming me for husband's issues, as well as her

608
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 4: discriminatory rants. Ryan then chimed in and said, from what

609
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:11,239
Speaker 4: we understand, you were constantly criticizing him and laughing, as

610
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 4: if to try and make it sound like jokes. Well,

611
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 4: hold on, hold on, I'm just looking around to say,

612
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 4: where were you when any of this was happening? Ryan,

613
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 4: Are you going to take the word of mother in

614
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 4: law what? I was very taken aback and replied that

615
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 4: the only time I remember correcting husband was when he

616
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 4: was giving the wrong information to his grandpa as he

617
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 4: was picking up his car.

618
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 7: I had laughed because this was something I had already

619
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 7: had to correct him on. Husband chimed in and confirmed

620
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 7: that this was the case, saying he sometimes I'm stupid

621
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,719
Speaker 7: and say the wrong things because I have a bad memory,

622
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 7: and op has to correct me because she doesn't. I

623
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 7: told him not to talk like that, and so did Nina.

624
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good. Be like, don't say your stupid husband.

625
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 6: You don't have to do that.

626
00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 4: Hours later, he had a conversation with his brother Aaron

627
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 4: that went much the same. I was present but said nothing.

628
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 4: It turned out that as soon as mother in law

629
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 4: got home from the trip, she went on a campaign

630
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 4: to get everyone to pressure husband into withdrawing his boundaries,

631
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 4: convince him that his standards were too high, and to

632
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 4: manipulate the truth. She turned everyone against me, painting me

633
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 4: as the antagonist causing all of this. Weeks later, mother

634
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 4: in law messaged husband multiple times, still not addressing any

635
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 4: of the issues he brought up. He decided to reiterate

636
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 4: their conversation in text format, hoping it would be a

637
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 4: way to get through to her. That evening, he received

638
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 4: an extremely long text from Nina, once again inserting herself.

639
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 4: She sent screenshots of the conversation between Bianca and me,

640
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 4: which irritated me because I had literally told Bianca that

641
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 4: I was being mindful of who I confide it in

642
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 4: after how people were showing themselves everything in those messages

643
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 4: were things I had already discussed with husband before or

644
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 4: after venting to Bianca. At me, the most was that

645
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 4: some of the context was cut out on my end,

646
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 4: leaving only the messages that looked the most damning, and

647
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 4: I understood exactly what she was trying to do.

648
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 3: Luckily, I believe in keeping receipts.

649
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 4: Ooh ooh, So I told my husband that he could

650
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 4: look at everything, I messaged her myself. He agreed that

651
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 4: the context mattered. Nina then questioned why husband's families being

652
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 4: cut out and not o Peas, while in the next

653
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 4: breath contradicting herself by saying we had actually said we

654
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:36,800
Speaker 4: might cut o Pea's family out. She admitted she had

655
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 4: lied over the phone and said she found the way

656
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 4: I talked to husband uncomfortable to witness. It always has been.

657
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 4: She criticizes you so harshly. Ryan and I talked about

658
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 4: it while we were there. We honestly tried to rack

659
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 4: our brains about what she was talking about, since most

660
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 4: of the time was spent listening to them, all of

661
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 4: us venting about mother in law or playing board games.

662
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 4: She then brought up that husband called himself stupid on

663
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 4: the phone call and said, if you tell a flower

664
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 4: negative things for long enough, it stunts its growth. I

665
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 4: think that you're excusing her behavior because you've been conditioned

666
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 4: to be clear OPI literally told her husband, hey, don't

667
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 4: talk like that after hearing him say that.

668
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 2: So he's not a dummy, he just sometimes needs a

669
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 2: little bit of reminding because his memory is not as

670
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 2: good as hers.

671
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, and she was like, hey, fair enough, but don't

672
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 4: talk about yourself so poorly.

673
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 6: OPI continues.

674
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 3: That floored me.

675
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 4: Didn't she hear me tell him not to talk about

676
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 4: himself like that? Also, husband and I had extensive conversations

677
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 4: about why he puts himself down so much, and he,

678
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 4: not me concluded that it was how he was conditioned

679
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 4: growing up because of his mother.

680
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 3: Shocker of the century right there. Who would have thought.

681
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 4: She continued by guilt tripping him to see where his

682
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 4: mom was coming from because of how she was raised, saying,

683
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,719
Speaker 4: you don't know our mom. You think you do, but

684
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 4: she's so much more than how you've described her.

685
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:11,720
Speaker 3: We were literally.

686
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:13,839
Speaker 4: Listening to her and Ryan talk about mother in law.

687
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,399
Speaker 4: She went on to say, your daughter will meet all

688
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 4: walks in this life. It is your job to prepare

689
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 4: her for those people. Instead, the example you're setting has

690
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 4: less to do with protection and more to do with intolerance.

691
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 4: Ignoring the ugly doesn't make it go away. That's one

692
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,800
Speaker 4: of the dumbest things I ever read. You can fully

693
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 4: prepare somebody for all walks of people who may be

694
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,839
Speaker 4: vile to them, but you don't have to do it

695
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:45,839
Speaker 4: by using their own grandmother as an example. You might

696
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 4: just be able to bypass that trauma completely and it'll

697
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 4: be Okay, you're crazy, you're crazy, oh man, like WTF.

698
00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 4: Sure she might meet tweakers and abusers in life, but

699
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 4: we shouldn't be encouraging her to be friends with them,

700
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 4: and it's about protecting her. That is literally our job.

701
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,399
Speaker 4: You best believe that if it's between my daughter living

702
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 4: a healthy life or the wishes and desires of someone else,

703
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 4: I am always going to pick my daughter. I would say, honestly,

704
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 4: find the ones who support you and then just withdraw

705
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 4: from the rest. You're having a child with your husband,

706
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 4: you need to focus on that above all else. And

707
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 4: if he can't get on board with that, that's a

708
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 4: serious problem.

709
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 3: But you you've got to prioritize.

710
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,280
Speaker 6: Your own family. Here, let's finish this story.

711
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 4: That was almost two weeks ago and we're still unsure

712
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 4: of how to address this. Our couple's counselor told me

713
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 4: that Nina is living in her own reality and I

714
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 4: need to not take it personally, but I'm having but

715
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,320
Speaker 4: I'm having an extremely hard time not taking it personally

716
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 4: that someone is intentionally trying to throw me under the bus,

717
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 4: making me look like a bad guy, to release mother

718
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 4: in law from any wrong doing, and actively trying to

719
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 4: drive a wedge into my relationship. This whole situation is

720
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 4: causing us an extreme amount of stress at a pivotal

721
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 4: time when being stress free is paramount. I've been questioning

722
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 4: whether or not I should even invite Nina to the

723
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 4: baby shower, and if I should also go low contact

724
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 4: or no contact with Nina for what she's doing. But

725
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 4: I'm hesitant about how that would affect husband since he's

726
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 4: already feeling ostracized. Has anyone gone through anything similar or

727
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 4: have advice for how.

728
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 6: I should proceed? And that is the end of that story.

729
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 4: But honestly, I think the number one thing is that

730
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,800
Speaker 4: if y'all, you and husband can get on the same team,

731
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 4: your unit, and regardless of how ostracized you know certain

732
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 4: members of the family may make him feel. It's like,

733
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, if they're unwilling to

734
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 4: recognize your own family unit.

735
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 6: And the validity of your own thoughts.

736
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:07,319
Speaker 4: And feelings about the given situation, then it's like, just

737
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 4: find the people who are able to be on your

738
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 4: team and let.

739
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 3: The others ostracize you.

740
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 4: It will because this is one of those moments in

741
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 4: life where it's like, this is a big deal, Like

742
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,479
Speaker 4: if these people cannot like accept that, Like you're having

743
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 4: a child, and the way that mother in law was

744
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:26,800
Speaker 4: behaving not only about like you know, saying the racial slurs,

745
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 4: but just about being just a kind of hateful, negative

746
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 4: person towards op in general, the mother of your child husband, Like,

747
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,400
Speaker 4: you need to put your mom on blast for that,

748
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 4: and if she won't change your ways, then there need

749
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 4: to be consequences.

750
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 2: It's amazing to me always how how quick people are

751
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 2: to defend or excuse bad behavior from old folks just

752
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 2: because they are old. Yeah, it's I think it's stupid.

753
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 2: I think it wreck. It completely ignores the fact that

754
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 2: at any age you can learn to change, you can

755
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 2: learn that you were wrong, you can learn to be better.

756
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 2: I understand that they are family, but it's like I've

757
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 2: said here before, like if this is your new family,

758
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 2: now you have to prioritize them. And there is that

759
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 2: concept that I've brought up here before that the blood

760
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 2: of the Covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

761
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 2: You have chosen these people as opposed to the ones

762
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 2: you just happened to be born to, who are being

763
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:29,720
Speaker 2: terrible to the people you've chosen.

764
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 3: Yep, so you need.

765
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 2: To reaffirm that choice and decide where you stand. You

766
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 2: don't have to associate with someone just because they're related

767
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 2: to you.

768
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

769
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. We're going to

770
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 1: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of

771
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 1: bads from our sponsors.

772
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 4: My stepfather stole my inheritance and my mother just let him.

773
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 4: Daddy no for background, My mom Jen fifty female and

774
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 4: my stepdad Brian fifty six male, have been together since

775
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 4: I was eleven. Well I say that, but eleven is

776
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 4: the age I became aware of their relationship as she

777
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 4: asked if we would be okay with him moving into.

778
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:06,760
Speaker 3: The family home.

779
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 4: Prior to this, she never mentioned dating anyone, and we

780
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 4: had never spent any time with Brian. None of our

781
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 4: other immediate relatives ever mentioned him to us either. By

782
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,959
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from user excellent Fee thirty ten

783
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

784
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime Subburday.

785
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 8: I'm Dakota and I'm Savannah and we're here to give

786
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 8: good advice goofy, but we don't have all the answers.

787
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 4: We only know what we would do, So if you

788
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 4: would do something different, let us know in the comments.

789
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 4: As Op says, the day Jen asked us, my sister

790
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 4: Ruth twenty six female, was sat next to me and

791
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:45,040
Speaker 4: asked to be excused to her bedroom. My other brother,

792
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 4: Tom twenty three male, was not home to have any input.

793
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 4: I was stuck by myself with Jen, who did not

794
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:55,359
Speaker 4: seem to understand how she completely blindsided us. She had

795
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 4: no interest in answering my question about why she had

796
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,399
Speaker 4: not told us. Her only interest was no knowing if

797
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 4: we accepted this stranger moving in.

798
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 3: Brian moved in the following week.

799
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 4: After Brian moved in, there were several times where both

800
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 4: he and Jen threatened to move.

801
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:14,800
Speaker 3: Away without me, Tom and Ruth. They would say, if.

802
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 5: You don't like it, we'll get a new house.

803
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 3: And start over. Threatening just child abandonment.

804
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 4: Okay, this threat could be in relation to something like

805
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 4: Brian telling me I shouldn't be anywhere in the house

806
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 4: except for my bedroom and me standing up for myself.

807
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 3: I used to get called stupid by Brian a lot.

808
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 4: If I did something he didn't like, such as finishing

809
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 4: my homework before going to dinner, he would say, only

810
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 4: someone this stupid wouldn't thing to eat first, Hey, Brian,

811
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 4: that's stupid. Any grievance I had with Brian was never

812
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 4: acknowledged by Jen.

813
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:51,720
Speaker 3: If I raised an issue.

814
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:55,080
Speaker 4: With her, she would deflect and change the subject. Brian

815
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 4: caused a lot of problems, knowing that there were no

816
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 4: consequences for him. Brian never can see the fact that

817
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 4: he wanted Jen and only Jen. We were just the

818
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 4: baggage that he only had to put up with. For

819
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:09,839
Speaker 4: so many more years, Tom, Ruth and I were no

820
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 4: longer taken on family holidays. The last one we got

821
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 4: to go on was when I was my godmother's bridesmaid

822
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 4: at a destination wedding I was ten. Jen and Brian

823
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 4: would go on three holidays a year without us. Living

824
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 4: under that roof was the loneliest I had ever felt.

825
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 4: The second I became of age, I bought my first

826
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 4: apartment and moved out.

827
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 3: No more Brian, no more Gen.

828
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,439
Speaker 4: Tom and Ruth wanted to come with me, but Jen

829
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 4: wouldn't allow it, and honestly, I don't know how I

830
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:40,240
Speaker 4: was supposed to fight for them. I was working long shifts,

831
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 4: sometimes nights. Though Ruth was a year younger than me,

832
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 4: Tom was not.

833
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 3: I doubt a.

834
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,919
Speaker 4: Court would appoint a fresh eighteen year old as their

835
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 4: guardian with Jen in the picture, which is fair. Probably

836
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,320
Speaker 4: that's probably accurate. One thing I did leave in Jen's

837
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 4: care was my valuable book collection. I won't disclose exactly

838
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 4: how much, but it's in the seven figure range.

839
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 3: You have a million dollar book collection at eighteen?

840
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 5: Wait, what how do you were?

841
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:15,359
Speaker 9: Just I imagine like the SpongeBob episode with like when

842
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 9: Gary is like the librrian with the full library, Like

843
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 9: that's what I'm thinking. I'm not thinking just like shelves,

844
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 9: you know, like a little shelf in the corner, Like,

845
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 9: oh yeah, there's my million dollar books.

846
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 5: Like this is like a room dedicated.

847
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 3: It has to be. There's let's let's get into this here.

848
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 3: Some of these books were my inheritance.

849
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 4: I was always told that they are to be looked after,

850
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,359
Speaker 4: never to be played with, and I have to be

851
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 4: stored correctly. I couldn't do that in my apartment, so

852
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 4: Jen continued to keep them for me. I had no

853
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 4: reason to distrust her with them. Earlier today, I called

854
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:50,080
Speaker 4: Tom as I was traveling home from seeing a friend.

855
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,360
Speaker 4: Tom mentioned that he had gone to Jen's house to

856
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,359
Speaker 4: collect some things. Because he was there, I asked Tom

857
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 4: to find out if Jenet managed to get the remainder

858
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 4: of my books authentic. She and I had spoken about

859
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 4: doing so a few weeks prior. Tom asked Brian about

860
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:08,280
Speaker 4: my books, and then Brian laughed and said, what books,

861
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 4: My books. Tom said, no, her books that you've been

862
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:16,320
Speaker 4: looking after. Brian then repeated, my books.

863
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 3: So this is when you.

864
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 4: Go get your books, my books. You gotta go get

865
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 4: your books right now, Go get them.

866
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 5: Go get your books, girl.

867
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,880
Speaker 4: I was listening to this through Tom's headphones, so I

868
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 4: told him to get Brian to clarify.

869
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 3: No, there's no need to clarify. He said, they're his books.

870
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,320
Speaker 3: Go get your books. It's true.

871
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:40,280
Speaker 4: Tom asked Brian what he meant by his books. Brian

872
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,800
Speaker 4: said they're ours now we bought them. My heart sank

873
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,439
Speaker 4: the moment I heard him say that jen was not home.

874
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 4: I tried calling her, no answer. Eventually, she called me

875
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 4: back a couple of hours later, but not before Brian

876
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 4: called me a pathetic liar spoke ill of Ruth and

877
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 4: claimed her books, which she had in fact sold years ago,

878
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 4: while still insisting mine were also his property. To confirm,

879
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 4: I never sold anyone a single book. They did not

880
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 4: buy me any books. All the books in my collection

881
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 4: are to be sold at a future date or passed

882
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 4: down to my children. Brian and Jen never gave me

883
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 4: a single penny. Jen was unwilling to confront him about it.

884
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 4: I am not allowing them to steal part of my

885
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,920
Speaker 4: children's inheritance. Jen agreed that she never bought my books,

886
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 4: but Brian refuses to give them back to me. I

887
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 4: told Jen that her inadequacy as a parent, failure to

888
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,919
Speaker 4: reprimand Brian over the years, and her lack of love

889
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 4: for her own children has meant this moment was a

890
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 4: long time coming. I say something along the lines of

891
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 4: you neglected me. You allowed him to take my happiness

892
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:44,239
Speaker 4: away for years. You let him walk all over me.

893
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,319
Speaker 4: I will not let you steal from my children. If

894
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 4: this is how it has to be, I will take

895
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 4: you to the cleaners. I will report you both for theft.

896
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 4: I will sue you for everything I can. I will

897
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 4: cut you out of my life. Again, you mean nothing

898
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 4: to me. I need to know if I was out

899
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 4: of life all for what I said to Jen was

900
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 4: very emotional at the time.

901
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 3: There is an update. I think you're you.

902
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 4: Know, probably you're eighteen, your certified crash out. Brian's telling you, hey,

903
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 4: I'm stealing your million dollar books, dear mine, and your

904
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:16,879
Speaker 4: mom is like.

905
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 3: Well, I just don't want to say anything.

906
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 4: It's you know, I would say everyone sucks because Brian sucks.

907
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 4: Your mom sucks for not defending you against Brian, and

908
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 4: it's like, you know, I think from the sounds of it,

909
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 4: sounds like your mom's in a bad situation with Brian

910
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 4: as well. Uh, that has just progressed to a point

911
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 4: where she can't stand up for herself.

912
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 3: She's in a toxic relationship with him, can't break out

913
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 3: of it.

914
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 4: So it's unfortunate that you were mad at her, but

915
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 4: it's fair because she did she like for your the

916
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 4: whole upbringing.

917
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 3: Let this guy walk all over you. So your feelings

918
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 3: are justified.

919
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 4: It just it It's not that everyone sucks, it's just

920
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 4: that the situation sucks all around, and Brian is the worst.

921
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 9: And I feel like if anything like you could probably

922
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 9: just go and get the books, unless they like are

923
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 9: lucking you out of the house or something and are like, no, no,

924
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 9: it's our property, you know, lenl But I wouldn't.

925
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,439
Speaker 4: Be surprised if Brian like didn't work and just stayed

926
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 4: at home all day anyway.

927
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 5: And just watched over those books.

928
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, He's like, why do I need to work? We've

929
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:17,760
Speaker 3: got million dollar book collection.

930
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 9: I am the keeper of the books. I do not work.

931
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:22,280
Speaker 9: My only job is to protect the books.

932
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, my only job is to protect the books and

933
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 4: also yell at you and not like and not like

934
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:28,760
Speaker 4: you or or your kids.

935
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 3: Let's see this update. I hope you steal your books back.

936
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 4: It's been a little over two weeks, but it has

937
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 4: felt like an eternity. I'll start off by saying there's

938
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 4: good news and bad news. The good news is I

939
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:46,839
Speaker 4: got my books back. Yeah, all of them, unscathed. They

940
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,319
Speaker 4: are physically in my possession and will remain in my

941
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 4: care indefinitely. The bad news is I did not take

942
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 4: Jen and Brian to the cleaners. Ultimately, my goal was

943
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 4: to get my books back, no matter the route I

944
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 4: had to take to do so. Speaking with Tom, I

945
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 4: had already contacted my lawyer to set things in motion.

946
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,920
Speaker 4: They advised that they would contact Jen and Brian as

947
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 4: a matter of urgency. Not long after speaking with me,

948
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,919
Speaker 4: Jen contacted Ruth to try and convince her to get

949
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 4: me to speak with her. It was only going to

950
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 4: be her attempt to get me to back down.

951
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 3: I do not bluff.

952
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 4: She knows this. Ruth said she hoped I would follow

953
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:24,879
Speaker 4: through with things, and then ended the call. Jen tried

954
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 4: to call back, but Ruth ignored her. Then it was

955
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 4: Tom's turn. Jen was still in agreement that my books

956
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:32,719
Speaker 4: were mine, but Brian was not having any of it,

957
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,800
Speaker 4: and Jen was not putting him in his place. Tom

958
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 4: said he agreed with what I was doing. I was

959
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:41,280
Speaker 4: told that Brian was shouting obscenities about me in the background,

960
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 4: things like ungrateful, which Tom told me they deserved it,

961
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 4: and so much more. My lawyer contacted them on my

962
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 4: behalf two days later. All contact with me was to

963
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 4: go through the firm from then on. According to Jen,

964
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 4: she told Brian that he needed to stop trying to

965
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,400
Speaker 4: claim my books. If he was intent on key them,

966
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 4: he needed to make me an offer of their current

967
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 4: value plus thirty percent.

968
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 3: But if I said no, it meant no.

969
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 4: Brian was still adamant he didn't need to offer me

970
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 4: anything because the books already belonged to them, and he

971
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 4: didn't think I would win a legal battle, despite Jen

972
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 4: confirming I had everything that guaranteed they would lose well,

973
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 4: because Brian's a dumb, dumb, dummy boy. A couple more

974
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 4: days later, my lawyer said Jen reached out to them

975
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 4: on her own and said she wanted me to.

976
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:29,840
Speaker 3: Retrieve all of my books.

977
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 4: I had already made them aware that Brian was an

978
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 4: issue because of his presence at the family home, but

979
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 4: she assured them that he would be gone for the

980
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 4: whole day. Some days ago, I arranged for suitable transportation

981
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 4: for the books to my house. When I got to

982
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,760
Speaker 4: the family home, Brian's car was not in the garage

983
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,880
Speaker 4: or front patio, which they always are whenever he's home,

984
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 4: so I proceeded into the house.

985
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 3: I know he would have tried to provoke me.

986
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 4: Even though I'm not a violent person, because he wants

987
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 4: to have a way to make me squirm.

988
00:48:57,719 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 3: I walked right past Jen and went to where my books.

989
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:04,239
Speaker 4: Brian has never been granted access by Jen, so they

990
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 4: were perfectly secure, and I loaded them all into the van.

991
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 3: It took a while.

992
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,959
Speaker 4: Brian won't notice they're gone because he's never been able

993
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,919
Speaker 4: to get into that room, and Jen probably won't say

994
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 4: anything even if she does. Neither of them knows my address.

995
00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 4: Jen was talking to me throughout, trying to get me

996
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 4: to sit with her and speak like adults. She was

997
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,840
Speaker 4: saying cliche things like she regrets how she treated me

998
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:29,920
Speaker 4: and blah blah blah blah. If she had said all

999
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 4: of this years ago, maybe I would have listened. But

1000
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 4: even now I had to retrieve my own possessions in

1001
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:38,319
Speaker 4: secret because she couldn't stand up for me as she

1002
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 4: should have.

1003
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 3: Words are empty, like it's just words. It's a little

1004
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 3: too late.

1005
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:46,240
Speaker 4: I needed you to show me with actions that you would,

1006
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 4: you know, value your children over Brian.

1007
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:50,840
Speaker 5: I agree.

1008
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 9: I think ope, I think you did the right thing,

1009
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,880
Speaker 9: as in like I'm going to get my stuff and

1010
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 9: I'm going to go, and I think, honestly, is a

1011
00:49:57,880 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 9: good idea that you didn't give them like your address,

1012
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 9: like they don't know where you live and stuff, which

1013
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 9: kind of stinks because obviously you want to like share that,

1014
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 9: but like you know, if it's a toxic thing in

1015
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 9: your life. You don't want them like bringing that into

1016
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 9: your space, you know, then that's gonna be all chaotic

1017
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 9: and it's just not gonna work. So I think you

1018
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,720
Speaker 9: did the right thing of getting your stuff and leaving

1019
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:22,399
Speaker 9: it at that. I know, like, you know, your mom

1020
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 9: probably feels really bad, Jen. Jen probably feels very like

1021
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 9: upset about the whole thing. But like, as you know,

1022
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 9: Dakota said, like it's actions of her words, Like it's

1023
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 9: not like she still hasn't shown like she'll say I

1024
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 9: regret this and I'm sorry, and you know I feel

1025
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:42,800
Speaker 9: this way like okay, cool, but like what are you gonna.

1026
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 5: Do about it?

1027
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly, I think the only thing that could happen

1028
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 4: at this point would be she'd have to leave him.

1029
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 4: She'd have to leave him and like never look back

1030
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 4: and like you know, completely cut every trade of them

1031
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 4: out of her life. And that would be like the

1032
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 4: first step that you could take to atone for letting

1033
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 4: this sky kind of run roughshod over your whole family,

1034
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 4: like your children.

1035
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:07,200
Speaker 9: Yeah, literally came in and like changed the whole dynamic

1036
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,319
Speaker 9: and was like that's just how.

1037
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 3: It is, and that's that doesn't fix it. That's just

1038
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,880
Speaker 3: step one. Yeah, you know that opens the door to

1039
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:16,280
Speaker 3: being able to fix things.

1040
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree, let's finish this story. You I did

1041
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:23,360
Speaker 4: not say a word the entire time. My lawyer said

1042
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,959
Speaker 4: everything that needed to be said, including that as long

1043
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 4: as Jed and Brian do not try to falsely claim

1044
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,760
Speaker 4: my books, the matter was resolved once they were returned

1045
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 4: to my custody. Once I finished loading everything, I returned

1046
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 4: my keys to the family home. Jen tried to convince

1047
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 4: me to keep them, but I have no intent of

1048
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 4: returning there. The truth is that place stopped being the

1049
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:46,280
Speaker 4: family home the day Brian moved in. I have zero

1050
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,800
Speaker 4: happy memories of it. My old room makes me sad

1051
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 4: to think about, because it's a constant reminder that it

1052
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 4: was the only place I was permitted to be.

1053
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 3: Even writing this hurts. I needed my parent to look

1054
00:51:58,239 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 3: out for me.

1055
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:02,360
Speaker 4: She failed in all other aspects apart from these books.

1056
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:04,760
Speaker 4: I wish Jenne had loved me like a parent should.

1057
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:07,920
Speaker 4: But yes, I have my books back. That is a

1058
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 4: good outcome, and that's the end of that story.

1059
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:12,800
Speaker 3: Opie. I would heavily suggest therapy.

1060
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 4: And you know you're not wrong for how you feel,

1061
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 4: But if you're able to somehow mend fences and like

1062
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:25,239
Speaker 4: come to reconnect with your mother. It would probably bring

1063
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 4: you a lot more peace in the long run than

1064
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 4: staying disconnected from her forever would.

1065
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 9: I wanted to reconcile with my father and it made

1066
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,400
Speaker 9: my sister furious.

1067
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 3: Sisters before misters.

1068
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:41,880
Speaker 4: There's a trigger warning here for mentions of possible towards

1069
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 4: the end of the story.

1070
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:44,879
Speaker 3: Keep that in mind.

1071
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 9: So, I, twenty three female, was recently reached out to

1072
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,480
Speaker 9: by my father, who I haven't seen or spoken to

1073
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 9: in about ten plus years. For some background, my sibling

1074
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 9: let's call them Jane twenty three female and I are

1075
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 9: six months and one day apart.

1076
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 3: Very specific.

1077
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 5: Needless to say, my dad cheated on my mom.

1078
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 9: With her mom, Jane and I had pretty much the

1079
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:10,880
Speaker 9: same experiences with him, despite a few differences. By the way,

1080
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 9: this comes from Outrageous Limits six to so eight and

1081
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 9: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1082
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:21,439
Speaker 9: Okay storytime subreddit. I am Savannah, I'm Dakota, and we're

1083
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:24,319
Speaker 9: here to give some advice goofy, But we don't have

1084
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 9: all the answers.

1085
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 5: We only know what we do in this situation. So

1086
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 5: let us know what you do in the comments.

1087
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 9: As Op says, there were custody visits initially when I

1088
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:36,919
Speaker 9: was younger and my dad wasn't a great dad by

1089
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:39,680
Speaker 9: any means. We would stay with him for a weekend

1090
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 9: once in a blue moon, and when we were around

1091
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:45,480
Speaker 9: ten or eleven, there ended up being a complete cut

1092
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:48,759
Speaker 9: of contact. He was flaky, didn't follow up, and was

1093
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 9: just straight up immature. Other than that, I tried to

1094
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 9: repair the relationship in early high school and he ended

1095
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 9: up canceling plans. After that, I didn't try to reach

1096
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,680
Speaker 9: out again. We would occasionally see him at family gatherings

1097
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:02,600
Speaker 9: on his mother's side, but aside from that, I didn't

1098
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 9: speak to him or have contact. The relationship between Jane

1099
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 9: and me has almost always been good, despite not talking

1100
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 9: for long periods.

1101
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:11,240
Speaker 5: When we were younger.

1102
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 9: In high school, Jane reached out to me and we reconnected.

1103
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:17,480
Speaker 9: There was family drama between her mother and me, which

1104
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,560
Speaker 9: led to us being caught in the middle, resulting in

1105
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:23,680
Speaker 9: a temporary disconnect. We eventually reconnected, and since high school

1106
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 9: we've been pretty close.

1107
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 5: So a lot of disconnect reconnect.

1108
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 9: We all like each other now, we do, and family

1109
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 9: drama is all in win winding and weaving and.

1110
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,960
Speaker 3: The lots of volatility here.

1111
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 9: Yeah, as time went on and we've both reached adulthood,

1112
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:41,960
Speaker 9: we've grown apart a little.

1113
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:42,840
Speaker 5: As expected.

1114
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 9: I live about an hour away and Jane was attending

1115
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,280
Speaker 9: college two hours away. Until a year and a half ago,

1116
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:50,439
Speaker 9: I even went to visit her and stayed a time

1117
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 9: or two. We always had good times and made time

1118
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 9: to talk to each other no matter what. Recently, however,

1119
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:59,400
Speaker 9: things felt like they were slowly shifting. Jane and I

1120
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 9: weren't talking much. We would occasionally text or call to

1121
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,440
Speaker 9: catch up. We weren't on bad terms, just not as

1122
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:06,879
Speaker 9: close as we once were. We tried to call each

1123
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 9: other or set up plans to hang out, but they

1124
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,400
Speaker 9: never ended up. Sent in Stone, this wasn't either of

1125
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:16,080
Speaker 9: our faults. Adult life can get busy, true. It wasn't

1126
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 9: like either of us was purposely trying to avoid the others.

1127
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 9: Sometimes plans just don't happen. About a month ago, I

1128
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,799
Speaker 9: got an unexpected text from my father. He messaged me

1129
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 9: saying he wanted to reconnect. Initially, I didn't think I

1130
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:30,880
Speaker 9: wanted to respond, but I screenshoted it and sent a

1131
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 9: text to Jane. She immediately told me not to respond

1132
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 9: to him. I saw this as her trying to protect

1133
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 9: me in a way, and I understood because she has

1134
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 9: her own feelings about him. I thought about it for

1135
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:44,960
Speaker 9: a few days and eventually responded to him. Oh, which

1136
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 9: I never thought I would do. Growing up without a

1137
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 9: consistent father figure was difficult, and I have a lot

1138
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 9: of unresolved anger and emotions towards him. Makes sense. Luckily,

1139
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 9: my uncle stepped in as a father figure, but still

1140
00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:00,840
Speaker 9: an absent father is an absent father. Exactly sure what

1141
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,240
Speaker 9: made me respond to him. It wasn't out of spite

1142
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:06,279
Speaker 9: towards Jane or any anyone else. At this point in

1143
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,360
Speaker 9: my life, I want to try and get closure for

1144
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:11,319
Speaker 9: the things I can and move on.

1145
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, it sounds like you know exactly why you

1146
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 4: You've reached back out to him.

1147
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, that kind of answered it.

1148
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:21,480
Speaker 9: I'm not in contact with my mother, and I've dealt

1149
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 9: with a lot of hardships and trauma growing up. Making

1150
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 9: closure for yourself is a long and painful journey. As

1151
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,399
Speaker 9: if being in your twenties since and already confusing enough,

1152
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:35,360
Speaker 9: I mean, yeah, I preach, Yeah, like you seems like

1153
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 9: you got a good ahead on your shoulder opee. You're

1154
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 9: you know, you're dealing with it as it comes, and

1155
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,920
Speaker 9: kind of just like going with the flow, I think, yeah, yeah.

1156
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:46,280
Speaker 9: I responded to him, and we talked for a while

1157
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,600
Speaker 9: and even met up for coffee. We had a long

1158
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 9: talk and he cried, pouring his heart out to me

1159
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 9: about the past and how he's messed up Excepter. Things

1160
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:56,879
Speaker 9: between my father and me are actually going really well

1161
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:59,800
Speaker 9: so far. We've met up twice more since then, and

1162
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,680
Speaker 9: each time feels less awkward, talking about a lot of

1163
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:05,680
Speaker 9: things that matter to me. I've been clear from the

1164
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,879
Speaker 9: start that I'm not immediately forgiving him or absolving him

1165
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:11,080
Speaker 9: of accountability. I still have a lot of anger toward

1166
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 9: him and unanswered questions. I don't know exactly how to

1167
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 9: move forward. So we've been talking here and there. He's

1168
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 9: been open and honest with me as far as I

1169
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,880
Speaker 9: can tell. I wasn't going into this with a lot

1170
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:24,720
Speaker 9: of hope. He has let me down time and time

1171
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 9: again in the past. Slowly I have begun hoping because

1172
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 9: from the talks we've had, it does seem to have changed.

1173
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 9: I met his girlfriend and her kids, whoa step big

1174
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:39,240
Speaker 9: step uh, and he has told me. He's going to

1175
00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:41,919
Speaker 9: therapy and is really trying to fix the mistakes he's made.

1176
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:44,760
Speaker 9: He seems different from what I remember in a good way,

1177
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 9: and the talks have helped me. Maybe that's just the

1178
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:49,480
Speaker 9: inner child in me, the little girl who wants her father.

1179
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 9: But that's what I've observed. Again, this is not me

1180
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:55,920
Speaker 9: saying I've forgiven him or forgotten what he's done. I

1181
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 9: am the one setting the pace at which we talk

1182
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 9: and see each other taking babies. If he ever messes

1183
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 9: up like he did in the past or makes me

1184
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 9: feel like this is going nowhere, I have no problem

1185
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 9: severing the connection. If something doesn't add value to my life,

1186
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 9: I'm not going to be a part of it.

1187
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:14,160
Speaker 5: I agree.

1188
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:17,160
Speaker 9: I think that you know, you're kind of taking it

1189
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 9: at your pace, which I think is good. Don't let

1190
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 9: him change that, and kind of just yeah, I think

1191
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 9: you're I think you're doing good.

1192
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 3: Opie is clearly cooking, cooking up a storm right now.

1193
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:33,240
Speaker 3: Ohpie's cooking, Let.

1194
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 5: Her cook, Let her cook?

1195
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:34,600
Speaker 3: Uh.

1196
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 5: Oh, now comes the problem.

1197
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,440
Speaker 3: Ah, dang it, we stop cooking.

1198
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:39,920
Speaker 5: Ah.

1199
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:42,280
Speaker 3: Simmret Simmret during not me.

1200
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 9: Jane messaged me a few days after I had met

1201
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 9: my dad for coffee. After her initial reaction to me

1202
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:53,479
Speaker 9: showing her that my dad had reached out, I wasn't

1203
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,000
Speaker 9: really wanting to upset her by telling her I was reconnecting.

1204
00:58:56,480 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 9: I waited a bit to see how things were before

1205
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 9: telling her. I wasn't purpose leaving her out, but Jane

1206
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,160
Speaker 9: has a tendency to be overly negative and make things

1207
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 9: about her. I didn't want to deal with that. When

1208
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 9: I was already processing my feelings about the situation. She

1209
00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 9: messaged me and went off saying how I was hurting

1210
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,720
Speaker 9: her and how I could make plans with him while

1211
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 9: avoiding her. She continued by saying I had blown her

1212
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:19,919
Speaker 9: off numerous times in the past and it wasn't fair

1213
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 9: that I was giving him time when I wasn't giving

1214
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:25,560
Speaker 9: her any. I told her that texting and calling is

1215
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 9: a two way street because I have also reached out

1216
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:30,680
Speaker 9: to her in the past and it didn't lead to anything.

1217
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:34,080
Speaker 9: Adult life can be busy and sometimes things are pushed aside.

1218
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 9: We've both done it, and I've never felt upset with

1219
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 9: her because I know she's my sister and she's not

1220
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 9: doing it intentionally. She's talked to me through hard times

1221
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:46,120
Speaker 9: and vice versa. Then what really shocked me was that

1222
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 9: she accused him of being creepy and even called him

1223
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 9: a predator.

1224
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:53,880
Speaker 8: Whoh, that's okay, big statement.

1225
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 3: We are now in completely different territory.

1226
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:58,240
Speaker 5: Now yeah, now I'm uh oh.

1227
00:59:58,280 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 4: Now it is like, okay, now we're in completely different

1228
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:04,280
Speaker 4: reasons as to why Jane does not want anyone reconnecting

1229
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 4: with the father.

1230
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:07,760
Speaker 9: Yeah, because originally it was just like, he's not a

1231
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 9: good guy, he kind of sucks. And then now she's like, mmm,

1232
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 9: he's he's creepy.

1233
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:14,840
Speaker 3: We're in very serious waters. Now.

1234
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:18,040
Speaker 5: Yes, you thought she was cooking.

1235
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:22,280
Speaker 9: She's cooking, She's the heat is on, it's burning, it's burning.

1236
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 9: This surprised me because before this she had never told

1237
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:29,480
Speaker 9: me once. We had talked about our dad numerous times

1238
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 9: in the past, and I was never told about this.

1239
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:34,800
Speaker 9: I personally have never felt that way about him, but

1240
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 9: I would never invalidate her feelings or call her a

1241
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:40,760
Speaker 9: liar because I would never victim blame good o pie.

1242
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:44,280
Speaker 9: I am honestly confused. Every time I message my dad,

1243
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:46,240
Speaker 9: I feel guilty and I wonder if I'm really messing

1244
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:49,480
Speaker 9: up by reconnecting with him. I'm truly confused. And shocked

1245
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 9: and don't know if I'm in the wrong. What she's

1246
01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:54,760
Speaker 9: accusing him of is a huge deal, and I don't

1247
01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:57,880
Speaker 9: want to invalidate that. I don't think it's possible she's

1248
01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:01,240
Speaker 9: told me before and I don't remember. This is something

1249
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 9: I would definitely remember.

1250
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:05,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, so tricky.

1251
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:08,920
Speaker 4: So I think whenever this kind of situation comes up,

1252
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:12,040
Speaker 4: it's kind of like insinuated or you know, we're not

1253
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:16,200
Speaker 4: sure exactly what Op's sister said, but it needs to

1254
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:18,120
Speaker 4: be like, all right, we need to get to the

1255
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 4: bottom of exactly what it is you're talking about here,

1256
01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:21,400
Speaker 4: like what what happened?

1257
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 3: What happened or what did you see or what was done?

1258
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 3: Like what what needs to be done here?

1259
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:26,400
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1260
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:31,520
Speaker 9: And also I'm like kind of concerned because I would think, like,

1261
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:35,280
Speaker 9: in situations like this, it would be the other Well

1262
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:38,360
Speaker 9: I guess no, it's both their their dad different Yeah,

1263
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:39,200
Speaker 9: oh yeah, so.

1264
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 3: Well it could be that it's like just the product

1265
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 3: of an affair or whatever.

1266
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:45,919
Speaker 4: I don't know, psychologically, there's like a trillion different things

1267
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:49,160
Speaker 4: that could be going down. But I think, you know,

1268
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 4: and I'm not like, I'm not like victim blaming or

1269
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:56,360
Speaker 4: victim shaming or victim denying or anything. But it's like

1270
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:59,919
Speaker 4: sometimes if people I don't know anything about ope sister,

1271
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 4: but people, if they're really flippant and don't understand what

1272
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 4: consequences are, can say something like this about somebody just

1273
01:02:06,920 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 4: as like a this will get that person to stop. Yeah,

1274
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,640
Speaker 4: it's like I don't want my sister having anything to

1275
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:14,640
Speaker 4: do with him, so I'm just gonna say this because

1276
01:02:14,720 --> 01:02:16,320
Speaker 4: then no one will want anything.

1277
01:02:16,080 --> 01:02:17,760
Speaker 3: To do with him. And it's like you can't just

1278
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:19,000
Speaker 3: say something like that.

1279
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 9: Yeah, because that's also a very serious accusation that could

1280
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:24,880
Speaker 9: lead to like legal things.

1281
01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:27,800
Speaker 4: Yes, So I think now it's why it's just information

1282
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:31,000
Speaker 4: gathering process. Again, I'm not I'm not saying anyone is

1283
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 4: lying of Yeah, I'm just saying that.

1284
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 3: It's something that has happened before.

1285
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 4: So it's like it needs to be investigated because that's

1286
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 4: what you know, it's a trickle you know that that'll

1287
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:43,720
Speaker 4: happen something it could very well be true. Yeah, And

1288
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,280
Speaker 4: it's just like a thing that's like just coming out

1289
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 4: like right now, like wah, And then it's like okay,

1290
01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:52,040
Speaker 4: can you you know, can we dig into that a

1291
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 4: little bit? What what exactly is going on here?

1292
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:55,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, I want to know.

1293
01:02:55,680 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 9: I want to I want Jane and Op to define

1294
01:03:00,480 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 9: because is he creepy with them yeah?

1295
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:06,280
Speaker 5: Or is he creepy with like other women?

1296
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:09,040
Speaker 3: It just needs to be. We need an invest We

1297
01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:12,000
Speaker 3: need to investigate. I mean, I need to gather info.

1298
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:13,640
Speaker 3: Let's finish this story.

1299
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:15,320
Speaker 5: Comment number one.

1300
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:18,200
Speaker 9: I have an affair sibling that's about the same age

1301
01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:20,440
Speaker 9: gap to me as between you and your sister. She

1302
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:23,320
Speaker 9: will always have her own thoughts and feelings towards your dad,

1303
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:25,880
Speaker 9: and if what she's saying is true, which it could

1304
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:29,920
Speaker 9: be sometimes like this target only one child, and she

1305
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,720
Speaker 9: may not have been able to or willing to talk

1306
01:03:32,760 --> 01:03:35,560
Speaker 9: about it before now as he was out of your lives,

1307
01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 9: it will push her away from you. She will see

1308
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:41,760
Speaker 9: you as aligning with your dad and choosing him over her.

1309
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:43,800
Speaker 9: I'm not saying it's right, but that is how she

1310
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:47,080
Speaker 9: will feel, especially if he didn't reach out to her,

1311
01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 9: which if what she is saying is true, he most

1312
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 9: likely wouldn't. But even if it isn't true, that will

1313
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 9: also hurt because why you and not her. I'm sorry

1314
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:00,880
Speaker 9: to say, but you have a choice here. Either believe her,

1315
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 9: inside with her, or choose your dad I do not

1316
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 9: think you will be able to have both in your life. Ooh,

1317
01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:10,400
Speaker 9: that's hard, and oh, Pe responds, I appreciate your honesty

1318
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:13,479
Speaker 9: a lot. I'm a complete idiot and forgot to mention

1319
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 9: that he had actually made an attempt to reconnect with

1320
01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:19,000
Speaker 9: her a year previous, or to the bottom portion of

1321
01:04:19,040 --> 01:04:22,360
Speaker 9: the boast, which is actually really relevant to the conversation.

1322
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:24,360
Speaker 9: I am actually going to see her this weekend at

1323
01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 9: a family gathering and was planning pulling her to the

1324
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 9: side and having a one on one. I am just

1325
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:31,960
Speaker 9: not sure what to say to her. I don't want

1326
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 9: it to seem like I'm invalidating her, because I do

1327
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:36,600
Speaker 9: believe her over anything. At the end of the day,

1328
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,080
Speaker 9: thank you for your advice. If it did come down

1329
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,080
Speaker 9: to that decision, without hesitation.

1330
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:41,520
Speaker 3: I would choose her.

1331
01:04:41,960 --> 01:04:44,680
Speaker 9: I just don't know everything, and I don't really know

1332
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:48,400
Speaker 9: how to approach her about this. There's also a reply

1333
01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:51,600
Speaker 9: I can't answer on what she says is true or not.

1334
01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:54,560
Speaker 9: I don't know her, nor am I in the business

1335
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:58,280
Speaker 9: or to not believe a victim until proven otherwise. But

1336
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:02,040
Speaker 9: reality is is that she has her own thoughts about him,

1337
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:04,480
Speaker 9: and if she feels strongly enough about them. You can

1338
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:07,760
Speaker 9: lose her due to not aligning with her views. Doesn't

1339
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:10,520
Speaker 9: mean it's fair, but things are rarely fair in situations

1340
01:05:10,560 --> 01:05:13,440
Speaker 9: like this. Your dad was a crappy dad to you both.

1341
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 9: He can't erase that. Just try and make amends. And

1342
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:20,200
Speaker 9: if your sister is that's okay too. But the possibility

1343
01:05:20,280 --> 01:05:23,000
Speaker 9: is there that you will lose her, especially if what

1344
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:25,320
Speaker 9: she's saying is true, because no person can or should

1345
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:28,880
Speaker 9: forgive someone presiding with their I would have to agree

1346
01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:29,120
Speaker 9: with that.

1347
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:31,680
Speaker 3: Yes infolk gathering.

1348
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:35,560
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, And actually that is the end of that story.

1349
01:05:36,360 --> 01:05:38,120
Speaker 3: Here's John ere og host here. We're going to get

1350
01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:39,680
Speaker 3: back to the stories. But here's a quick three minute

1351
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:41,080
Speaker 3: break of ass from our sponsors.

1352
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:44,360
Speaker 2: My stepfather treats me like a stranger in front of

1353
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:45,360
Speaker 2: the whole family.

1354
01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:48,400
Speaker 5: What but you're part of the family girl.

1355
01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:52,200
Speaker 4: I am twenty one and I have two younger half

1356
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 4: sisters who are fourteen and nine.

1357
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:57,440
Speaker 3: We share the same mom but have two separate dads.

1358
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:01,320
Speaker 4: Me and my stepdad have always had a strained relationship.

1359
01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from us your spiritual Cress

1360
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,440
Speaker 4: fourteen forty seven. And if you want to submit your

1361
01:06:06,440 --> 01:06:08,439
Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash Okay, story time,

1362
01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:08,920
Speaker 4: super at it.

1363
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:12,600
Speaker 8: I'm Dakota and I'm Sabina, and we're here to give

1364
01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 8: you good advice, goofy, But we don't have all the answers.

1365
01:06:15,040 --> 01:06:16,440
Speaker 3: We only know what we would do, So if you

1366
01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:18,800
Speaker 3: would do something different, let us know in the comments.

1367
01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:22,600
Speaker 4: As Op says, when I first met him, he treated

1368
01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:25,280
Speaker 4: me like an actual daughter and would include me in

1369
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:29,000
Speaker 4: family events and spend time with me one on one. However,

1370
01:06:29,080 --> 01:06:33,280
Speaker 4: when my sisters were born, this all changed. He'd stop

1371
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:35,840
Speaker 4: spending time with me, and he even stopped letting me

1372
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:39,000
Speaker 4: join in on family activities, saying stuff like you're too

1373
01:06:39,040 --> 01:06:41,520
Speaker 4: old for this, and why don't you go spend some

1374
01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:45,040
Speaker 4: alone time in your room. At first, it was just

1375
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:47,560
Speaker 4: these sorts of things, but as I grew older, he

1376
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:51,280
Speaker 4: started reacting weirder and weirder to me being alone with

1377
01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:54,080
Speaker 4: my sisters. Obviously, I know there's a bit of an

1378
01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:56,000
Speaker 4: age gap between me and them, but I try my

1379
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:59,360
Speaker 4: hardest to spend time with them and partake in their interests.

1380
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:02,080
Speaker 4: I'd playdeo games with the older one and make slime

1381
01:07:02,200 --> 01:07:05,200
Speaker 4: and do crafts with the younger one. However, if my

1382
01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:07,640
Speaker 4: stepdad found out I was alone in a room with

1383
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:10,400
Speaker 4: my sister, He'd get mad. He'd yell at me and

1384
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:12,840
Speaker 4: force me to leave, which just always confused me because

1385
01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:15,640
Speaker 4: I wasn't doing anything wrong and my sisters wanted to

1386
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 4: spend time with me.

1387
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:19,480
Speaker 3: He genuinely made me feel like a creep.

1388
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:22,120
Speaker 4: As I reached my late teens, I started to offer

1389
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,960
Speaker 4: to babysit my sisters if my parents ever needed me to,

1390
01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:28,600
Speaker 4: but my stepdad would always flat out refuse. He would

1391
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:31,080
Speaker 4: literally take my sisters all the way to my grandparents'

1392
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 4: house two hours away, every time they had.

1393
01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:35,920
Speaker 3: A date night, despite me always being home.

1394
01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 4: Once, while my stepdad was away on a work trip,

1395
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:40,480
Speaker 4: my mom got me to babysit my sister's while she

1396
01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:43,040
Speaker 4: ran some errands, but told me not to tell him

1397
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:47,400
Speaker 4: or he'd go mad. I again, what did what does

1398
01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:50,080
Speaker 4: this come from? Where is this coming from?

1399
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:51,000
Speaker 3: Yeah? I want to know what.

1400
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:52,960
Speaker 5: His problem is. What does he have against you just

1401
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:56,400
Speaker 5: because you're older, like you're all siblings. I don't get it.

1402
01:07:56,560 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 4: Is it like cause you're not his daughter? I don't know,

1403
01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:03,560
Speaker 4: because it's like he didn't he wasn't involved in your.

1404
01:08:03,520 --> 01:08:06,080
Speaker 3: Creation, in your pro creation.

1405
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:10,120
Speaker 9: Yeah, that always rows me the wrong way, like, I

1406
01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:13,080
Speaker 9: don't know. Why does that matter. You're still a part

1407
01:08:13,120 --> 01:08:15,960
Speaker 9: of his life, and you are still technically like you know,

1408
01:08:16,479 --> 01:08:20,040
Speaker 9: a child, let alone his child, Like I don't know.

1409
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:20,600
Speaker 5: I don't get it.

1410
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:23,559
Speaker 4: Eventually, I moved out when I turned twenty, which means

1411
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:26,200
Speaker 4: I see my family less and less. But whenever I

1412
01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:28,120
Speaker 4: go back, I still try to spend time with my

1413
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:30,920
Speaker 4: sisters and he still gets upset. I hit my limit

1414
01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:33,599
Speaker 4: about a week ago when I went to visit. I

1415
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 4: was set in my fourteen year old sister's bedroom having

1416
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:40,679
Speaker 4: just genuine normal girl talk, nothing weird, just about makeup

1417
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:44,200
Speaker 4: when my stepdad walked in and told me how inappropriate

1418
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:47,360
Speaker 4: it was that I was in there. I finally snapped

1419
01:08:47,680 --> 01:08:49,800
Speaker 4: and told them that I was just as related to

1420
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:52,360
Speaker 4: my sisters as he is and had every right to

1421
01:08:52,360 --> 01:08:55,519
Speaker 4: spend time with my family. He got upset with this

1422
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:58,040
Speaker 4: and left the house, and my mom is telling me

1423
01:08:58,160 --> 01:09:00,559
Speaker 4: I was a bit rude with my approach. Honestly, I

1424
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:02,719
Speaker 4: don't know if I'm in the wrong and I shouldn't

1425
01:09:02,760 --> 01:09:05,559
Speaker 4: be trying to be close with my sisters, or if

1426
01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:08,479
Speaker 4: my stepdad is just insane. Am I the a hoole

1427
01:09:08,720 --> 01:09:11,320
Speaker 4: and we have a quick edit to answer a common question.

1428
01:09:11,400 --> 01:09:13,920
Speaker 4: Me and my stepdad used to argue a lot about

1429
01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:17,320
Speaker 4: normal teenager stuff, never physical or in front of the kids.

1430
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:20,080
Speaker 4: The whole family knows about these arguments and have agreed.

1431
01:09:20,160 --> 01:09:23,320
Speaker 4: I'm not an unstable person, and I just wanted to

1432
01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:25,760
Speaker 4: also say thank you so much to everyone who's taking

1433
01:09:25,800 --> 01:09:28,719
Speaker 4: the time to give me support and kind words of advice.

1434
01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:32,800
Speaker 4: I will definitely be digging into things further and try

1435
01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:35,280
Speaker 4: and figure out what the issue is. I do want

1436
01:09:35,320 --> 01:09:37,600
Speaker 4: to assure everyone, though, that my sisters are safe. I

1437
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:39,720
Speaker 4: know a lot of people have mentioned potential abuse, and

1438
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:41,479
Speaker 4: while I will be keeping an eye out for it,

1439
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:44,240
Speaker 4: I think my stepdad's issue is more about me and

1440
01:09:44,360 --> 01:09:45,200
Speaker 4: less about them.

1441
01:09:45,720 --> 01:09:49,479
Speaker 3: We have some comments, but before that the mat am

1442
01:09:49,479 --> 01:09:49,960
Speaker 3: we thinking.

1443
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:54,479
Speaker 9: I think that he is dramatic for no reason, Like

1444
01:09:54,760 --> 01:09:56,920
Speaker 9: I don't know, Like I feel like he's just like

1445
01:09:57,000 --> 01:09:57,920
Speaker 9: he obviously has.

1446
01:09:57,800 --> 01:09:59,720
Speaker 5: Like an issue, but he's blaming it on something else.

1447
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:00,519
Speaker 3: I feel.

1448
01:10:00,920 --> 01:10:03,559
Speaker 4: I don't know my opinion, Yeah, I don't know it definitely,

1449
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:05,439
Speaker 4: I think you're kind of right. It does feel like

1450
01:10:05,479 --> 01:10:08,720
Speaker 4: it's more about you and less about your sisters. It's

1451
01:10:08,760 --> 01:10:12,160
Speaker 4: more about you being othered by your stepdad where it's

1452
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:14,240
Speaker 4: like no, like you can't be alone with them, or

1453
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:16,720
Speaker 4: like like they literally wouldnt even let you babysit them,

1454
01:10:16,720 --> 01:10:19,719
Speaker 4: Like that's crazy that they would always go two hours

1455
01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:22,360
Speaker 4: out of their way so that you couldn't babysit your

1456
01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:23,400
Speaker 4: own half sisters.

1457
01:10:23,479 --> 01:10:25,960
Speaker 9: Yeah, is there something you're not telling us? Because maybe

1458
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:28,639
Speaker 9: did you like wrong these children in some way?

1459
01:10:28,920 --> 01:10:31,360
Speaker 4: It's like it's like op had like a polter guy's

1460
01:10:31,479 --> 01:10:34,640
Speaker 4: like possession incident when they were younger, and like levitated

1461
01:10:34,640 --> 01:10:36,640
Speaker 4: in the living room and doesn't remember it.

1462
01:10:36,720 --> 01:10:38,240
Speaker 3: It doesn't and does not remember.

1463
01:10:38,520 --> 01:10:40,880
Speaker 5: It's like I that never even happened. Why do you

1464
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:42,519
Speaker 5: keep saying you can't.

1465
01:10:42,320 --> 01:10:44,519
Speaker 3: Let her watch the children? She's a conduit? But the

1466
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:47,080
Speaker 3: unknown is that what happened? OPI.

1467
01:10:47,920 --> 01:10:51,840
Speaker 4: I'm sorry if that's the case, Come and everyone not overreacting.

1468
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:55,240
Speaker 4: Your stepdad's acting weird and your mom isn't helping the situation.

1469
01:10:55,479 --> 01:10:58,000
Speaker 4: She should have stood up for you instead of enabling

1470
01:10:58,040 --> 01:11:01,719
Speaker 4: this behavior. You deserve much better treatment, hope, he says,

1471
01:11:01,840 --> 01:11:04,760
Speaker 4: thank you. Honestly, I wish she would stand up for

1472
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:07,679
Speaker 4: me too, considering I stand up for all the time.

1473
01:11:08,160 --> 01:11:11,880
Speaker 4: But she's got that. I'm the child, they're the adult mentality.

1474
01:11:12,479 --> 01:11:15,120
Speaker 4: A reply says, why on earth would he treat an

1475
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:18,479
Speaker 4: outsider like that? I mean, someone he had never met before.

1476
01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:20,320
Speaker 4: I can understand, but.

1477
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:23,599
Speaker 3: He knows you. Are you not straight?

1478
01:11:24,560 --> 01:11:27,640
Speaker 4: Do you have any other beliefs he wouldn't agree with

1479
01:11:27,800 --> 01:11:31,559
Speaker 4: because I could at least understand where his mind was going.

1480
01:11:31,640 --> 01:11:34,280
Speaker 3: But I still think it's fed up if you were

1481
01:11:34,360 --> 01:11:34,760
Speaker 3: a guy.

1482
01:11:36,479 --> 01:11:38,759
Speaker 4: The only other possible reason I can think of, although

1483
01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:40,920
Speaker 4: this really does not track with how young you were

1484
01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:43,400
Speaker 4: when he started this behavior, is maybe he thinks you're

1485
01:11:43,439 --> 01:11:45,680
Speaker 4: going to be some sort of bad influence and talk

1486
01:11:45,720 --> 01:11:49,920
Speaker 4: to him about bad stuff or substances or drinking or

1487
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:53,000
Speaker 4: some crap like that. If he's hyper religious and you

1488
01:11:53,080 --> 01:11:55,120
Speaker 4: are not, this could be the root of it. But

1489
01:11:55,280 --> 01:11:58,880
Speaker 4: driving them for two hours rather than letting you babysit,

1490
01:11:59,479 --> 01:12:03,400
Speaker 4: whatever his idea is, it's probably completely warped. But if

1491
01:12:03,400 --> 01:12:06,040
Speaker 4: he's gonna act so weird about it, he should be

1492
01:12:06,080 --> 01:12:09,000
Speaker 4: giving you an explanation. And if your mother is allowing

1493
01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:12,240
Speaker 4: him to act like this without any explanation, she's just

1494
01:12:12,360 --> 01:12:17,240
Speaker 4: as bad. Comment to says, that's horrible, but you need

1495
01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:20,120
Speaker 4: to stop talking to your stepdad and start talking to

1496
01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:20,519
Speaker 4: your mother.

1497
01:12:21,080 --> 01:12:23,519
Speaker 3: Tell her you want to have a relationship with your.

1498
01:12:23,360 --> 01:12:27,000
Speaker 4: Younger sisters, arranged to spend time with them when your

1499
01:12:27,080 --> 01:12:30,000
Speaker 4: stepdad is not around. Tell your mom to go to

1500
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:32,960
Speaker 4: bat for you to spend time with them, and then

1501
01:12:33,120 --> 01:12:36,360
Speaker 4: take them out for fun things. If your stepdad refuses

1502
01:12:36,360 --> 01:12:38,519
Speaker 4: and your mom goes along with him, she shouldn't, but

1503
01:12:38,880 --> 01:12:41,479
Speaker 4: she might. There isn't much you can do about the

1504
01:12:41,560 --> 01:12:43,320
Speaker 4: nine year old until she gets older.

1505
01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:44,400
Speaker 3: Grit your teeth.

1506
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:47,080
Speaker 4: Go to your mom and stepdad's place a few times

1507
01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:49,639
Speaker 4: a year and be a fun person to this nine

1508
01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:52,360
Speaker 4: year old to hang out with. But a fourteen year

1509
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:55,759
Speaker 4: old probably already has her own cell phone, email account,

1510
01:12:55,840 --> 01:12:58,679
Speaker 4: and social media. You can talk to her via those

1511
01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,920
Speaker 4: methods and keep the community going. Just tell her not

1512
01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:04,559
Speaker 4: to put stuff about you on her public socials since

1513
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:06,080
Speaker 4: her dad probably monitors that.

1514
01:13:06,600 --> 01:13:09,920
Speaker 3: Good luck. Your stepdad is being an absolute ahole.

1515
01:13:10,080 --> 01:13:12,320
Speaker 4: Assuming that is that you don't have a whole host

1516
01:13:12,320 --> 01:13:15,080
Speaker 4: of issues or something and forgot to mention it, I'm

1517
01:13:15,360 --> 01:13:19,360
Speaker 4: guessing that's probably not it. Your mother should be advocating

1518
01:13:19,439 --> 01:13:21,720
Speaker 4: with her husband for you to have a relationship with

1519
01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:24,439
Speaker 4: your sisters. If she's conflict of her she may not

1520
01:13:24,520 --> 01:13:27,479
Speaker 4: do that, but she should do your best to spend

1521
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:30,320
Speaker 4: time with them, but limit your exposure to your stepdad

1522
01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:34,160
Speaker 4: or your own mental health. He hates you for whatever reason.

1523
01:13:34,560 --> 01:13:36,639
Speaker 4: And there is a small update.

1524
01:13:37,280 --> 01:13:41,800
Speaker 9: Yeah, I just don't understand, like what like it's either ope,

1525
01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:45,320
Speaker 9: you're not telling us something that happened, you know, and

1526
01:13:45,320 --> 01:13:47,120
Speaker 9: it's like I don't know why he's acting this way,

1527
01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:52,080
Speaker 9: or like maybe it does I completely forgot like religious

1528
01:13:52,080 --> 01:13:57,040
Speaker 9: beliefs or anything like uh, you know, like LGBTQ related

1529
01:13:57,160 --> 01:13:59,599
Speaker 9: or something you know that he's just not into.

1530
01:14:00,040 --> 01:14:01,479
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, and it could even be like people

1531
01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:04,600
Speaker 4: who get that, people who are hyper conservative about that

1532
01:14:04,680 --> 01:14:06,000
Speaker 4: kind of stuff can even get to the point where

1533
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:06,200
Speaker 4: it's like.

1534
01:14:06,160 --> 01:14:08,639
Speaker 3: Oh, you have tattoos. Yeah, it's like, well you shouldn't.

1535
01:14:08,680 --> 01:14:11,120
Speaker 3: You shouldn't be around the kids. Yeah it's like you

1536
01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:13,639
Speaker 3: like punk rock, you shouldn't be around the kids, or.

1537
01:14:13,600 --> 01:14:17,320
Speaker 5: Even like political views, yeah, you know, something like that.

1538
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:18,360
Speaker 3: Small update.

1539
01:14:19,240 --> 01:14:22,000
Speaker 4: After reading all your guys' advice, I have decided to

1540
01:14:22,040 --> 01:14:24,240
Speaker 4: try to have a conversation with my mother and also

1541
01:14:24,320 --> 01:14:26,080
Speaker 4: talk to the older sister to see if I can

1542
01:14:26,120 --> 01:14:28,719
Speaker 4: get any answers. I also wanted to give a bit

1543
01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:31,519
Speaker 4: more of an insight into my family's history to give

1544
01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:35,200
Speaker 4: you guys and myself more context about why my stepdad

1545
01:14:35,280 --> 01:14:38,760
Speaker 4: might be behaving this way. So, my parents split when

1546
01:14:38,840 --> 01:14:41,479
Speaker 4: I was six, and my mom and stepdad got together

1547
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:44,960
Speaker 4: when I was seven. I believe the relationship was definitely

1548
01:14:45,040 --> 01:14:49,080
Speaker 4: rushed because my first sister was conceived about eight weeks

1549
01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:53,000
Speaker 4: into the relationship. My mother's family were definitely not supportive

1550
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:54,880
Speaker 4: of this, which caused them to pull out of our

1551
01:14:54,920 --> 01:14:57,280
Speaker 4: lives around the time my mother was pregnant with my

1552
01:14:57,439 --> 01:15:00,800
Speaker 4: second sister. I don't know why I didn't mentioned this before,

1553
01:15:00,880 --> 01:15:03,320
Speaker 4: since to me, this could potentially be a big part

1554
01:15:03,680 --> 01:15:06,840
Speaker 4: of why my stepdad treats me differently. I also wanted

1555
01:15:06,840 --> 01:15:09,840
Speaker 4: to mention that my mom and stepdad aren't married. This

1556
01:15:09,920 --> 01:15:12,799
Speaker 4: is due to some technical issues with my mother's divorce

1557
01:15:12,880 --> 01:15:18,360
Speaker 4: with my bio dad. Yeah, it's looking like your stepdad's

1558
01:15:18,400 --> 01:15:20,760
Speaker 4: gonna see you as the op because you're connected to

1559
01:15:20,800 --> 01:15:27,400
Speaker 4: the family that doesn't support or approve of his relationship

1560
01:15:27,400 --> 01:15:28,080
Speaker 4: with your mom.

1561
01:15:28,479 --> 01:15:30,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think it's stemmed from that. That makes a

1562
01:15:31,000 --> 01:15:33,320
Speaker 5: little bit more sense. But still I feel like, you know,

1563
01:15:33,400 --> 01:15:36,000
Speaker 5: that's not your fault in a way. Oh, of course

1564
01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:40,439
Speaker 5: not like you didn't. You didn't tell them to like.

1565
01:15:40,360 --> 01:15:44,280
Speaker 9: They chose that they they did that to themselves. But

1566
01:15:44,400 --> 01:15:47,120
Speaker 9: the fact that he's gonna turn and blame it on

1567
01:15:47,160 --> 01:15:49,559
Speaker 9: you just because he can't deal with it or something like,

1568
01:15:49,640 --> 01:15:52,240
Speaker 9: you know, that's not None of that is your fault.

1569
01:15:52,320 --> 01:15:55,080
Speaker 9: You were very young and that was their choice to make.

1570
01:15:55,160 --> 01:15:58,160
Speaker 9: So please don't blame yourself. Opee, yeah, please, the children

1571
01:15:58,240 --> 01:16:00,639
Speaker 9: are innocent. Now let's finish this story.

1572
01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:06,320
Speaker 4: Okay, I've mentioned this in a few comments, but wanted

1573
01:16:06,320 --> 01:16:08,599
Speaker 4: to put it here as well. But I also come

1574
01:16:08,600 --> 01:16:11,320
Speaker 4: from a slightly different cultural background to the rest.

1575
01:16:11,120 --> 01:16:11,839
Speaker 3: Of my family.

1576
01:16:12,320 --> 01:16:15,840
Speaker 4: Both my mom and stepdad are completely white British, but

1577
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:21,120
Speaker 4: my bio dad and his family were Romani travelers. I

1578
01:16:21,240 --> 01:16:24,439
Speaker 4: personally only found this out about two years ago for

1579
01:16:24,439 --> 01:16:26,519
Speaker 4: some reason, my mother just never thought to tell me,

1580
01:16:26,960 --> 01:16:29,200
Speaker 4: and growing up I did get a few questionable comments

1581
01:16:29,240 --> 01:16:33,679
Speaker 4: from stepdad about stereotypes linked to that. Oh so we've

1582
01:16:33,720 --> 01:16:37,040
Speaker 4: got the good old fashioned stepdad.

1583
01:16:36,840 --> 01:16:37,880
Speaker 5: Oooh no.

1584
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:40,280
Speaker 8: Boo.

1585
01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:43,559
Speaker 4: Lastly, I do have an older half brother who's thirty

1586
01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:46,680
Speaker 4: three from my biodad, who did walk out of my

1587
01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:50,400
Speaker 4: life with my biodad. I only mentioned this because I

1588
01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:53,879
Speaker 4: wonder if stepdad thinks I'll do something similar to my sisters,

1589
01:16:53,920 --> 01:16:56,320
Speaker 4: which I would never do, and that is the end

1590
01:16:56,400 --> 01:16:59,000
Speaker 4: of that story. I doubt he's thinking that deep. I

1591
01:16:59,040 --> 01:17:02,080
Speaker 4: think he's just thinking taking his own feelings into account,

1592
01:17:02,120 --> 01:17:05,679
Speaker 4: and he just doesn't like you because you're not his child,

1593
01:17:06,240 --> 01:17:08,000
Speaker 4: and that's how he at least that's how he views you,

1594
01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:08,679
Speaker 4: which is crazy.