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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Okay, ladies, we got to keep it kind of short today,

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Speaker 2: Short and sweet.

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Speaker 3: Short and sweet, it's premiere day. I'm so excited for you.

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Speaker 3: How are you feeling? You're excited? Catherine knows how I feel.

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Speaker 3: I know. That's why I'm asking the question because.

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Speaker 2: It's like one of those things where I'm very excited.

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Speaker 2: Of course, I think it's going to be so fun

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Speaker 2: to be with friends.

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Speaker 3: Jolie. I mean, she woke up this morning and she

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Speaker 3: was just like, are you excited for the premiere?

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Speaker 2: You know? And she you know, she's like, I'm excited,

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Speaker 2: So she's she's really pumped. I think it's twofold. I

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Speaker 2: feel I always will like talk down to myself about it.

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Speaker 3: Oh I don't like that. Well, that's just who I am.

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Speaker 3: It's just real. Well I say it, and I do that.

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Speaker 2: To myself by that, which I don't like right at

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Speaker 2: the same time, but I also it's not that I

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Speaker 2: live with like haters in my head. But if anything,

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Speaker 2: like I'm my loudest hater, right, does that makes sense?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: So and I even you know, my girlfriend's from Michigan,

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Speaker 2: flew in. You know, it's so sweet. But even last night,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, guys, I'm going and being like such your

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Speaker 2: standards low so and they're like.

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Speaker 3: Stop, like this is a movie. I'm like, yeah, but

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Speaker 3: it's not.

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Speaker 2: Yeah it is, but like it's still you know, again,

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Speaker 2: there is nothing against I this is such a good

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Speaker 2: Christmas I don't want anyone to take this as this

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Speaker 2: is such a cute Christmas film, but like, listen, it's

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Speaker 2: still a Christmas film. I don't know, you, guys, I'm

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Speaker 2: sounding like I.

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Speaker 3: Know what you're trying to say. I know because you're

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Speaker 3: thinking it's not like.

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Speaker 2: We all know to love actually holiday, and maybe it is.

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Speaker 2: And also you and Ben did so well together that

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Speaker 2: I think you're gonna surprise yourself. I just know what

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Speaker 2: it is. And again I'm not saying the movie is.

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Speaker 2: The movie is so great. It's so cute and special,

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Speaker 2: and I want everyone to go see it in theaters

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Speaker 2: November six, because it's so great that it gets, you know,

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Speaker 2: a couple of weeks run in theater. Not many movies

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Speaker 2: get to do that. So it's so amazing that Karen

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Speaker 2: is giving the opportunity for this film.

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Speaker 3: I just also.

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Speaker 2: Like I would make the comments like if I ever

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Speaker 2: get to the Emmys one day, I promise I'll bring

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Speaker 2: you guys back for that, Like you know, and I

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Speaker 2: just basically talk myself down because I know it's not

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Speaker 2: that big of a deal.

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Speaker 1: You're afraid, you're afraid people's expectations are going to be

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Speaker 1: something like name the biggest movie you can think of

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Speaker 1: in a theater, and you're afraid they're going.

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Speaker 3: To be let down. Well obviously, Well.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying that's why you want to go in

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Speaker 1: there and set everyone's expectations.

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Speaker 2: Because I mean it is just like it's like, yes,

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Speaker 2: it has different heart than a Hallmark or a Lifetime,

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Speaker 2: but it's still the same. It's a family friendly, which

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Speaker 2: is also puts it in a class right Like Karen

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Speaker 2: even said herself she didn't want any scenes where kids

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Speaker 2: had to leave, right yeah, And so it still has

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Speaker 2: that element you need to remember too though this is

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Speaker 2: something I kind of deal with in our little orbit.

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Speaker 2: This is still a movie premiere, so like, I've never

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Speaker 2: been to a movie premiere before, and I'm behemped and

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Speaker 2: so like it's exciting for us and even at its

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Speaker 2: most wholesome, movie moment. It's still a movie premiere for

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Speaker 2: your friends from Michigan, from this friend from Michigan, for KitKat,

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Speaker 2: Like absolutely, this is exciting. My kids are over the moon.

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Speaker 2: His whole baseball team he's missing a game tonight, and

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Speaker 2: his whole baseball team is like what legends in a movie,

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Speaker 2: you know, like there's still this is what I love

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Speaker 2: and appreciate about film and movie and that like it's

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Speaker 2: the spotlight life that gives all of us back like

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Speaker 2: our inner like ten and eleven year old and I

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Speaker 2: just can't wait.

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Speaker 4: And so for all of us living in it, we

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Speaker 4: get to be little kids that are doing something super cool. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and so it's already cool enough, yeah.

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Speaker 3: But I think there is something well there that was

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Speaker 3: my good try and fail worse out. I think we

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Speaker 3: are our own critics. We are the lesson here.

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Speaker 2: That is the lesson is we are we of course

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Speaker 2: we also know where we want to be too agreed.

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Speaker 2: But also you know, to the hater in my head,

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Speaker 2: you know, not many people get to have be in movies.

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Speaker 2: You know, there's so many people that have auditioned for

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Speaker 2: years and don't get to be the leads in a film.

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Speaker 3: And you know.

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Speaker 2: I remember seeing something where it's someone was saying, you

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Speaker 2: know second, like she's never the first pick, and I'm like, well, list,

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Speaker 2: I'm on the list.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's like that's something where I'm trying to change that

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Speaker 2: perspective too, where it's like, yeah, but are you on

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Speaker 2: a list?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: And also think about the fact that you get to

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Speaker 4: bring your kids to this movie. That's so incredible. If

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Speaker 4: you were on something like Hunting Wives and doing the preview,

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Speaker 4: no a premiere, no one could come, do you know

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Speaker 4: what I mean? Well, somebody could pun intended, but it's

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Speaker 4: like wild because you get to So this is so fitting.

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Speaker 4: It's a such an anointed season that you're doing what

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Speaker 4: you love, You're getting paid to do what you love.

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Speaker 4: You're providing for your family with doing what your love.

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Speaker 4: And do you get to bring your kids to watch it?

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Speaker 4: And my kids too for that matter.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I'm so excited. I mean, it's gonna be

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Speaker 2: it's gonna be fun. I can't wait to get all

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Speaker 2: dressed up.

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Speaker 1: Have you done a movie premiere like this for yourself before?

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Speaker 3: I mean it was a million years ago. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So what Supporting the Girls was with Regina Hall? That

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Speaker 2: was when I was pregnant, I think with Jase Gosh,

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Speaker 2: I can't remember. It was so long ago. Uh so

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Speaker 2: I've done yeah, yeah, but it's been a minute. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because a lot of these movies just go straight to.

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Speaker 3: Well there's an acquisition.

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Speaker 1: I mean in my like, I was just thinking when

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Speaker 1: you were talking about this again, my kid's head, there's

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Speaker 1: no difference between you being on the TV at their

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Speaker 1: house and at a movie theater.

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Speaker 2: Right, Well, the value of a theater has really gone down,

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Speaker 2: It truly has, and most didies only stay in for

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Speaker 2: a couple of weeks, right, And it's I think more

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Speaker 2: people are like, well, well can we stream it? Because

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Speaker 2: I run the same thing. I don't really want to

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Speaker 2: go to the theater unless it's going to see one

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Speaker 2: of the big you know, top guns or something like

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Speaker 2: that that needs that big cinematic view.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I still love a theater, but I just

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Speaker 1: think that's still such kind of an old school view.

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Speaker 1: Like again, my kids aren't thinking like, oh, it's in

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Speaker 1: the theater, like is it going to be on the TV?

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Speaker 1: Like they don't even think, you know, they don't think

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Speaker 1: about that. So I think you seeing the positive in

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Speaker 1: that and how great that is to still be able

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Speaker 1: to you know, but I get it.

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Speaker 3: You're definitely your biggest.

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Speaker 4: I know for sure we're the same, and but I'm here.

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Speaker 4: That's why we you have us. Yeah, we'll just drown

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Speaker 4: that out for you. Yeah, and it'll be it'll be fun.

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Speaker 2: I think it'll be a nice little moment for everyone

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Speaker 2: to get together.

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Speaker 4: And more importantly, are you doing our makeup? Because that's

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Speaker 4: what you do for wind down?

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Speaker 3: And I asked, I did.

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Speaker 2: I texted Cat this morning and I also do yours too,

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Speaker 2: But I said, you know, hey, girl, I'll have time

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Speaker 2: if you want me to do your makeup?

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Speaker 3: Soointment appointment? Do you need help to well? I don't.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I feel like I'm starting to get better.

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Speaker 4: But I think I just love I mean, she already

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Speaker 4: has me in the books for B and I award.

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Speaker 2: Oh good.

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Speaker 3: I was like, hey, wondering if I can slide into.

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Speaker 1: Your baylist hair makeups? Like we got a team we're

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Speaker 1: going to help when you're going to just touch up

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Speaker 1: before I leave?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, if you just get here at a

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Speaker 2: certain time and then and then that would be great.

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Speaker 3: I can absolutely do it.

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Speaker 1: So hard for me to be like, hey, Cramer, You've

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Speaker 1: a movie premiere tonight and like your hair and makeup

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Speaker 1: is from three If you did, I mean you and

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Speaker 1: like be like, do you mind doing my mate?

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Speaker 3: Like it's just would be.

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Speaker 1: So hard for I mean, I've never even thought about

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Speaker 1: it because you're just so busy today too. But she offered,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, that is so sweet. I can't

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Speaker 1: cancel now and they'll charge me, But that is so sweet.

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Speaker 4: It's also not normal, but also like it's yourself ready,

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Speaker 4: you're too sweet thinking about other people.

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Speaker 3: I just I want you guys to feel beautiful, I know,

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Speaker 3: feel so cute, and you do my makeup.

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Speaker 2: So we'll have a fun little rundown of how I mean,

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Speaker 2: I hope a fun I'm going to be how the

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Speaker 2: premiere goes fantastic. Yeah, I just I Karen's like if

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Speaker 2: you want to say a speech, and I'm like, this

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Speaker 2: is where I'm from my body, Yeah, this is where

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Speaker 2: I shove Christen into the front of a mic and

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Speaker 2: then she gets mad at me.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so here's that. It's going to be amazing. Are

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Speaker 4: you going to say a speech?

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Speaker 3: Honey?

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Speaker 2: I most likely will just just say thank you say

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Speaker 2: to Ben like you go ahead.

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Speaker 3: Oh man, Oh, Ben will be good at that.

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Speaker 2: Right, Yes, Ben's great, perfect all right. So that is

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Speaker 2: the opening update here, ladies. Do we have a wine

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Speaker 2: about it?

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Speaker 3: I do good.

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Speaker 4: I'm and I am going to go down in a

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Speaker 4: ball of flames for what I'm about to say next.

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Speaker 3: But I will say though, kat so many people.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I got really so many messages, and I mean

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Speaker 1: people that I know that I did not know that

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Speaker 1: listened several people actually, and I'm like, oh wow, and

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Speaker 1: like just the sweetest, Like one person even was like

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Speaker 1: not to but one person was like, I've seen who

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Speaker 1: your child hanging out with. Now she's doing great, great

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Speaker 1: group of friends.

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Speaker 3: Like just making I was like, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know you listened or barely even know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like that is so sweet, Like I really

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Speaker 1: needed to hear that.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: I think the blessing and the curses. We don't know

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Speaker 4: how many people listen, right, yeah, Like I don't know,

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Speaker 4: so I just assume we're listens.

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Speaker 1: I but you know, yeah, you know Nick said to

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Speaker 1: me now night, like okay, at this point, you know

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Speaker 1: she listens, Hi, mom.

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Speaker 3: Board cackle. We'll find out. I just want to say

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Speaker 3: really fast before we win.

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Speaker 2: But I just want to say though too, when you

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Speaker 2: had texted us that saying like, well got confirmation, my

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Speaker 2: mom listens, and you know, I thought about it for

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Speaker 2: a second. You didn't say anything. It's and you also

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Speaker 2: said what you felt. I felt as if she didn't care,

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Speaker 2: and that is a feeling where as a parent we

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Speaker 2: might miss, even as us being parents, like did we

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Speaker 2: miss that they felt that way? So it's the fact

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Speaker 2: that how your mom went about it is what I

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Speaker 2: loved her wanting to be a sit down is what

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Speaker 2: I'm thinking.

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Speaker 1: Would she say her Her text was actually super sweet.

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Speaker 1: It was an apology and would love to sit down,

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Speaker 1: and she even said in the text she said I

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Speaker 1: did care, So it was very sweet. I haven't responded

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Speaker 1: yet and not I got it really late last night,

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Speaker 1: and I just want to like think through your respect

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to just like be like, oh

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Speaker 1: thank you know, like so I want to think through

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Speaker 1: my response.

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Speaker 2: So but actually I loved that. Yeah, I love that,

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Speaker 2: even that message, how she went about the message. And

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Speaker 2: then there's healing that could possibly happen. And then again

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Speaker 2: I just started thinking, I'm like, man, what am I

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Speaker 2: missing that My kiddos you know that I'm going to

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Speaker 2: make them feel probably a certain way.

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Speaker 3: And we all are.

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Speaker 1: And that's the thing I do think parents. No one

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Speaker 1: gets it completely right, nobody.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 2: I mean, my god, I almost said favorite last week

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Speaker 2: and that that that like when I thought that back,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, how could I even say it, like,

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Speaker 2: because I don't have a favorite, like I love my kid,

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Speaker 2: you know, and I don't want to Jolie to ever

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Speaker 2: listen to something and be like, right, what because it's

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Speaker 2: not true. You know, It's just we have different soul connections.

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Speaker 2: I don't think there's right, you know, so yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 2: but I think through that is a really sweet thing

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Speaker 2: that your mom reached out in that way and that

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Speaker 2: way you guys can have a conversation. And it's beautiful

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Speaker 2: that you expressed it because so many people feel the

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Speaker 2: same way, because I do think we take on what

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Speaker 2: we lacked as kids from our parents.

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Speaker 1: Yep, and a lot of I mean I got a

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Speaker 1: lot of the middle schools hard oh my daughter, but

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Speaker 1: a lot of like, hey, I didn't feel like my

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Speaker 1: mom was paying attention or that my mom cared or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And it's not like all these moms don't care. I mean,

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, we know that they care.

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Speaker 1: It's just how things were maybe handled that we take

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Speaker 1: into our adulthood.

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Speaker 2: And then we also like try we analyzed what we Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like my dad wouldn't have cared if I went to

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Speaker 2: school with a bathing suit on, right, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean, Like dads are like that, and then they're

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Speaker 2: you know, like right, and then my mom, you know,

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Speaker 2: my mom would have been you know, I shouldn't care

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Speaker 2: that I wasn't taking tests, So that made me think

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Speaker 2: she didn't care. But well, you know, there's just there's

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Speaker 2: just so much, so many things that we can take.

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Speaker 3: Also had their whole lives, Like both my parents were working.

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Speaker 1: Well that was the other thing and part of what

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Speaker 1: I was at time, And I'm like, yeah, all the time, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my parents were always working.

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Speaker 3: So I look back and I'm like, she may not.

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Speaker 3: I've even known half the time, right, you know, so

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Speaker 3: we have open enough to even tell that, and.

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Speaker 1: That's like all a part of a big discussion, you know.

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Speaker 1: So maybe it wasn't fair for me to just say

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Speaker 1: she didn't care.

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Speaker 2: You didn't say that, That's not it made me feel

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Speaker 2: like she didn't care. That's a totally different thought than

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Speaker 2: she didn't care right.

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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, for sure and absolutely and we all are

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Speaker 1: those are all valid feelings.

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Speaker 3: Oh I love it.

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Speaker 2: It's so hard to see you cry though I watch

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Speaker 2: the I know it just but thank you for being vulnerable.

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Speaker 3: So I love about the show.

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Speaker 4: All right, Katie, Mine's not going well. Mine's definitely not

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Speaker 4: groundbreaking coming off the heels of that. But I think

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Speaker 4: I hate football.

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Speaker 3: What that is awful? I think I do.

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Speaker 4: I I know I'm going to go down in the

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Speaker 4: ball of flying car yep, and I'm prepared for it

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Speaker 4: because six seven.

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Speaker 2: What is it?

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Speaker 3: They're sending all of us into a spiral. Here's the deal.

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Speaker 4: I see you NFL, and I see you whatever league

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Speaker 4: college is, and I see you sneaking into every single

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Speaker 4: day of our lives. Slowly, it needs to be slowly.

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Speaker 4: It used to be Monday night football. Now it's Thursday

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Speaker 4: night football. And then there's Sunday football. And I'm like,

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Speaker 4: the every day is a game.

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Speaker 1: If you could just like college, it's only Saturday mostly.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, then there's Saturday football. I mean the an

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Speaker 4: NFL gets to be and it's starting in October, and

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Speaker 4: we talk.

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Speaker 3: About your disdain yeah, where is the first?

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Speaker 4: So I'd like to say I'm really proud of the

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Speaker 4: Detroit Lions. I think we can all agree on that.

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Speaker 4: But I think the part that frustrates me is that, like.

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Speaker 3: Any no, no, I'm not crying, but whether I throw

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Speaker 3: my husband under.

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Speaker 1: The fu we all know that you hating football. Why

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Speaker 1: would you hating football have anything to do other than

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Speaker 1: your husband watching football when you don't want it, to

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Speaker 1: watch it?

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Speaker 4: We already know.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, but I was gonna go thirty thousand feet.

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Speaker 3: They don't use that as a clip about me.

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Speaker 2: The amount of times that we've all wanted to go

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Speaker 2: thirty thousand feet, Like if someone says if someone called

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Speaker 2: me passive aggressive, like who.

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Speaker 3: Oh, you guys are so good.

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Speaker 4: Anyways, it's I just don't get to watch a program

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Speaker 4: at three thirty in the afternoon. I don't get to

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Speaker 4: arrange my day around something starting at three thirty in

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Speaker 4: the afternoon. Do you know what it would take you do?

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Speaker 4: Because you'd have to do it too for us to

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Speaker 4: have everything done, we need done on a Sunday afternoon

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Speaker 4: by three thirty to be able to sit for hours

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Speaker 4: and watch a game.

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Speaker 3: I have such devil's advocate for you right now? Oh

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Speaker 3: can I well you're ready to go?

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Speaker 1: Cat?

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Speaker 4: Is this your inner football lover? Or is this just

347
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Speaker 4: you reframing it for me?

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Speaker 3: So I don't wait. Can I just time out really fast? Please?

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Speaker 4: Girl? I feel like I'm under a deck, and anybody

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Speaker 4: out there please damn me and tell me you don't

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Speaker 4: like it either.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'm sure plenty of people. I just want to

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Speaker 3: get it right. Does so.

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Speaker 2: He plans to make sure he's home for every game

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Speaker 2: or for his team.

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Speaker 4: Only his team only. He's a Colts fan. Oh, I know,

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Speaker 4: rough right. Maybe if it was Lions, I might feel different.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 5: He does support the Lions though, Okay, so they only

360
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Speaker 5: play once a week, but there's always a game, so so,

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Speaker 5: but he'll still come to He'll watch the other teams too, Yeah,

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Speaker 5: but not as like intensely. He loves his Colts. He

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Speaker 5: loves his Colt socks. It's really cute.

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Speaker 2: But the days are rearranged for yeah, like it's more

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Speaker 2: of a priority for him. Copy that, And he doesn't

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Speaker 2: get to see anything all of the time because he's

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Speaker 2: working so much. So I try to I'm kind in

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Speaker 2: my brain, you know, I'm making chili and I'm making

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Speaker 2: snacks and I try, but there's always when we have

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Speaker 2: the guys on next, we have to pin this because

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Speaker 2: he always says, Oh, I wish you would just sit

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Speaker 2: and watch the game with musht a wife the sat

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Speaker 2: and watch the game with me.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like, I wish that's a bit passive, is it.

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Speaker 4: I'm ready to murder. I wish a lot of things.

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Speaker 4: I wish I had a husband that was doing all

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Speaker 4: the under dishes and bagging lunches for tomorrow and doing

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Speaker 4: the homework so that she could sit and watch a

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Speaker 4: game on her ass for two hours.

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Speaker 3: You're all got up. I think I ate football. That's

381
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Speaker 3: my wine about that, Catherine, go okay, get gass.

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Speaker 1: So my first question to you was why why if

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Speaker 1: Okay so football his is his priority. Yours is obviously

384
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Speaker 1: not football or maybe something else.

385
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Speaker 4: But I don't get to watch my priorities when they

386
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Speaker 4: come out. But why not because I'm doing it all,

387
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Speaker 4: doing it all, and I can make a priority if

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Speaker 4: I want to watch something.

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Speaker 3: You're never delayed watching something when it comes out if

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Speaker 3: it's that big of a priority to me. And again,

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Speaker 3: we did get to sex and the City though we

392
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Speaker 3: had just like.

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Speaker 1: That, just it's like everyone comes down, not comes down

394
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Speaker 1: to me. That's not what I'm gonna say at all.

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Speaker 1: It's like everyone points out to me, if working out

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Speaker 1: was truly a priority of mine, then I would make

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Speaker 1: the time. And I one hundred percent agree with everyone.

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Speaker 3: But wouldn't you agree that? Like, so this is what's hard.

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Speaker 4: I think like those things can be done in pockets

400
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Speaker 4: or rearranged. But like a game is a set time. Yes,

401
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,639
Speaker 4: so you know the game is at three thirty, So

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Speaker 4: what is I don't want to have to know the

403
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 4: game's at three thirty. In fact, I would like to

404
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Speaker 4: not know what ever existed. And I would like us

405
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Speaker 4: to get all of our shit done.

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Speaker 1: What is all this you have to get done on

407
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Speaker 1: Sunday at three thirty by three thirty?

408
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Speaker 4: Well, for me, it's the prep for the week, the

409
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Speaker 4: food prep for the week, it's the homework, making sure

410
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Speaker 4: that we're all caught up, and all the projects and

411
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Speaker 4: blah blah blah. You know, like I like laundry done,

412
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Speaker 4: I like a tea up for the week. Sundays really matter,

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Speaker 4: right me?

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Speaker 3: So that's your priority, right his priority?

415
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Speaker 1: And that is oh I know, so well kick off again.

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00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,600
Speaker 1: This is coming from the Alabama loving would it? When

417
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 1: we first were together. Wouldn't go to a wedding, would it?

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Speaker 1: And we've had plenty of fights about.

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Speaker 3: It, like, wait, who loves Alabama? Nick?

420
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Speaker 1: My husband? Why his whole family's from Alabama? Oh yeah,

421
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 1: huge Alabama fans. And this is like when we were

422
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:20,479
Speaker 1: first together, it was like if it was you know, Bama.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's still if Bama's playing, But we've come

424
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Speaker 1: a long way.

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Speaker 3: We've had a long way. They're very passionate people, those fans.

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Speaker 1: But you know what I learned, honestly, like I started

427
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Speaker 1: looking at it going I mean, if he meets a

428
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Speaker 1: Saturday for four hours, like, why am I mad?

429
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Speaker 3: And I had to like evaluate that.

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Speaker 4: Well, that's the other thing because it's not over. It's

431
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 4: never over. Have you noticed it's only four more minutes

432
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 4: on the clock. I'm like, that's another hour. I think

433
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Speaker 4: it's freaking wild. It's the game that never ends.

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Speaker 3: It is.

435
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Speaker 1: I just have learned through getting upset with my own husband.

436
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 1: So that's what I'm saying. I'm playing Tivil's advocate in

437
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,240
Speaker 1: the way that it's.

438
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Speaker 3: Just gonna be so mad at me.

439
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 1: That you kind of let that go because no, granted

440
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,440
Speaker 1: I can sit and watch something like I.

441
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,960
Speaker 3: Don't like I'm a Sunday.

442
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: I am like, if you know what, Sunday's a rest day? Yes,

443
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,880
Speaker 1: I like, it's the Sabbath. It's a prep day, which.

444
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,520
Speaker 3: We don't watch NFL. We really only watch well you

445
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:18,920
Speaker 3: save it.

446
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 1: Anyway, So it's Saturday days in our in our house,

447
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 1: you know, And we had sports when they were younger

448
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 1: and stuff, which he would never miss a sport for Alabama,

449
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:27,879
Speaker 1: you know. I mean he never did that, like a

450
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 1: kid's sport or something. But we just kind of knew,

451
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 1: like it goes on the calendar, that's when the Bama

452
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,199
Speaker 1: game is. If we don't have something, we're home and

453
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 1: we're watching the Bama game, you know. And so I

454
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 1: just think there's a way that maybe you could framework

455
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,159
Speaker 1: it and more of a positive. So you're not angry

456
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 1: at him, because I was angry a lot and I

457
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:44,159
Speaker 1: didn't like it.

458
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't like it, and I don't want to

459
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,679
Speaker 3: be angry because I love you. Also evaluated why you

460
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 3: were angry.

461
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. He works really hard, so

462
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 4: I want him to have the break. Yeah, I think

463
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 4: it's hard because it's always on a Sunday, and it's

464
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 4: like coming on the heels of I'm doing this all

465
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,199
Speaker 4: by myself, you know.

466
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,240
Speaker 3: Sure, And I get to so and now you're home

467
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 3: and you're resting, and I don't rest in our home really,

468
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 3: so I feel like you need to rest. I do.

469
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 3: I think that that might be the it's maybe less

470
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 3: about Cale I.

471
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: Do, because here's the thing. I used to also get

472
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 1: mad about fishing. And what I evaluated was I was

473
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 1: mad that I was in an office building and I

474
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 1: couldn't leave, but that he got to stay home and

475
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,880
Speaker 1: he could choose when he went fishing. So I had

476
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 1: to get to the bottom of that, like why do

477
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,400
Speaker 1: I care that he's going fishing right now? This doesn't

478
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 1: affect me in the least, But it was because he

479
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 1: got to do something I didn't get to do.

480
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 4: So I love when he fishes and hunts interesting, right.

481
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 2: But that is I think it's only occasional and it's outdoors.

482
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 2: It feels more productive, it seems like because it's every

483
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,960
Speaker 2: Sunday or Monday. Sure, this where it probably feels a

484
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 2: little bit more than the occasional time that they go

485
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 2: to Lee's property. And hunt ducks or whatever they did,

486
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:01,680
Speaker 2: whatever they do. Yeah, yeah, okay, turkey, there we go. Yeah,

487
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 2: so you know that's probably and then I can I

488
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 2: totally get you being frustrated coming off of doing right,

489
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 2: but you deserve But then kind of like what Catherine

490
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 2: was saying is you deserve something too, so flip it.

491
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 2: So personally, for me, I do the laundry while I

492
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 2: watch football, and it's like my favorite time because Alan's

493
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 2: not yes he's a football soccer watcher, but like I'm

494
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 2: the football watcher. He knows that that when the Lions play,

495
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,879
Speaker 2: I would like to have it on. But what I

496
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,879
Speaker 2: do during that time, because it's hard for me to

497
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 2: also just sit and watches. I do all the laundry,

498
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 2: so I'm being yeah, being you know, active, but also

499
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 2: you know, watching the game, and Alan will come and

500
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 2: sit with me, you know, you know, try to fall

501
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 2: But I personally did love folding the laundry.

502
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, he comes it.

503
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 2: So if you could do that then with him, then

504
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 2: you're then you're doing something with him. Okay, we're gonna,

505
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 2: we're gonna yeah, and I'm going to report back, but

506
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 2: also I'm gonna I want to offer something else though,

507
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 2: is say to him like, hey, after or before the game,

508
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 2: can I have an hour to go for a walk

509
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 2: or something that you want to do for yourself on

510
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 2: that day, Because when you get something for yourself, when

511
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 2: they get something to it just I'm not saying it's

512
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 2: tit for tat, but it's also the resentment peace will

513
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 2: go away because you got.

514
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 3: Something for yourself too. Yeah that makes sense.

515
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I feel like most men, I mean I

516
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 1: would would gladly. It's just half the time we.

517
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 2: Don't ask yes that. And that's that's the piece that's been.

518
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,199
Speaker 3: Really good at asking you. I know that you too,

519
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:39,199
Speaker 3: y'all aren't asking well.

520
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,640
Speaker 2: But I do. I do for like my workouts where

521
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 2: it's like today your day. So I'm like, hey, can

522
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 2: can you drop Roman off at school today? He's like oh,

523
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 2: He's like I got a client and I'm like, I

524
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 2: was like listen, babe. I was like, I am stretched

525
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 2: to like the minute here, and I said, I I

526
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 2: need to run and this is my only hour that

527
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 2: I can run in Sana And he's like one hundred

528
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 2: percent absolutely, you know, And then like for him, he'll say,

529
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 2: you know, like okay, cool, I'll move it to here.

530
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 3: Do you can you get him out that.

531
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 2: I was like absolutely, so like and then he'll have

532
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 2: his time for for what he needs to do. So

533
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 2: it's really just like ebbing and flowing of what we

534
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,199
Speaker 2: both need. And that way there's no resentment because if

535
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 2: he's just doing one thing and I'm just like, oh,

536
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 2: I would have liked that, then that's where resentment's going.

537
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 3: To track you. That's my sentence. On both sides. It

538
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 3: is usually my sentence, yeah.

539
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 2: Well exactly, and it's so it's like you have to

540
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 2: then add so I've been the advocate now to ask

541
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 2: for myself because I love how he's like, yeah, I'm

542
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 2: going I'm like, well, that must be awesome to feel

543
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 2: that great to be Hey, he's like, I'm going to

544
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 2: the gym for the next you know, two hours, and

545
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, cool, because I also know now that

546
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:42,880
Speaker 2: I can do the same thing.

547
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 3: Hey, I'm got about two hours. You know. It's the

548
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 3: guilt trip. It's like, wish you had a wife that

549
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 3: comes suit with and I'm like, that's not cool. Well

550
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 3: that's not fair. And that's what I told him.

551
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 4: I said, I want I would love We're not actually

552
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 4: in a season to sit for two hours. We're just

553
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 4: not we have a two year old like well, it's

554
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 4: hard to say, but that's any.

555
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 1: But also also what we started doing is we would

556
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 1: go up and when they were little, we'd go up

557
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: in the playroom where it was completely and I've made

558
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 1: it a priority to sit there and watch the game

559
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 1: and watch the kid run around.

560
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,120
Speaker 3: I hope pressons'll listen to this because you're a champion.

561
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 1: No, and it's not that again, I'm coming from a

562
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: place about how you were.

563
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 4: I am a vegetarian's scared of heights, and I've been

564
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 4: in a deer stand a thousand times in my life

565
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 4: with it.

566
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 3: I never because it's important to him. Yeah, and I

567
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 3: think I just want to get some credibility back because

568
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 3: I think I'm going down. No, No, I'm trying to

569
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:29,199
Speaker 3: help you.

570
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 1: And I do think there's a part of me that

571
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 1: thinks that you might enjoy if you change your mindset

572
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,199
Speaker 1: for one Sunday afternoon. You know how fun it is

573
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: to actually just sit on the couch with their family

574
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 1: and watch a football game.

575
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 2: It's actually great, and eat some snacks and I make

576
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 2: great snacks.

577
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 3: The kids make so fun.

578
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 2: Also do this too. I'm not I'm offering. Maybe sorry

579
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 2: not to be like do this, but the kids make posters.

580
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 2: They get excited for it. So you love doing arts

581
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 2: and crafts. And I actually love sports. I'm a Detroit

582
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,640
Speaker 2: make it a thing. I'm a Tigers fan.

583
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 4: I love baseball Like this is not it's I just

584
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 4: am like Monday nights, Gaday night, Thursday night, Saturdays.

585
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 3: How many days does a sport need?

586
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 1: Well, that's why her question on is is she he's

587
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 1: supporting one team or all team?

588
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 3: And I will say that that does matter, and the credibility.

589
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 4: His credibility is that he'll say, oh, this game, I

590
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 4: don't care about this game.

591
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, like he doesn't we watch.

592
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,200
Speaker 4: We still watch our shows together and we get in

593
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 4: there's a game on, or he'll be you know, and they.

594
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 3: Get older and football is on.

595
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 1: I'll even sometimes be like, hey, Nick, there's football and

596
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, it's good.

597
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 3: Like if we're home, great, he'll watch. If we're not.

598
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 3: On Sunday, I have football on all day just because

599
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 3: I I like the sound of it.

600
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 2: I love I really do. I love I love watching

601
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 2: teams I don't even know. But if it's something I'm

602
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 2: not gonna sit for it. If it's not the Lions,

603
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,360
Speaker 2: amen micirl or a change, I would the cold kind

604
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 2: of game he needs me to.

605
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 3: If person's listening, I'm still on your side.

606
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 2: I like, so two things you need to report back

607
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,959
Speaker 2: to us, Okay, one of the sundays sit with him

608
00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 2: and do laundry and and chill with the kid kids

609
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 2: have have it be fun. So you're checking that off.

610
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:06,880
Speaker 2: But then also either before after the game, I want

611
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 2: you to ask for something for yourself, okay, because we

612
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 2: do not need Resentment is the killer of relationships. So

613
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 2: we do not need that resentment trapping anybody. No, because

614
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 2: I know when I'm resentful of someone's.

615
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:26,360
Speaker 3: No, no, no vice versa. For this conversation, oh so good,

616
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 3: thank you for I don't know why. I just like love.

617
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 3: I think I'm gonna get a lot of hate, but

618
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 3: I'm okay with that. No, I think I try.

619
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: And I think a lot of women too would say

620
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 2: they hate golf because it's all when when the men

621
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 2: go for trips, you know, eighteen And I like beg

622
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 2: Alan because he likes to golf.

623
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:45,199
Speaker 3: I'm like, go.

624
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm not spending all time and I'm like,

625
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 2: but go, like go, do it if it's what you

626
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 2: want to do, because I also know in the back

627
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:53,640
Speaker 2: of my mind and be like, hey, girls, you want

628
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 2: to go do something than fun too?

629
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,399
Speaker 3: You know another another time? All yeah, day. I mean

630
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 3: they're but I know those YMVP. Yeah, there's some that

631
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,360
Speaker 3: it's just real questionable. You don't even have track any

632
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 3: are they there? I don't know. I think we should

633
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 3: go golfing. I think we should go golfing.

634
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 4: I mean, there's gone for ten hours and we're like, yeah,

635
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 4: that's how long eighteen holes takes? Do we know?

636
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 3: I'd love to try it is long?

637
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 2: Oh. Denise Richard shows off a one million dollar check

638
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:26,440
Speaker 2: she's never cash from ex Charlie Sheen, and she asks,

639
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 2: is it still good?

640
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 3: Listen Charlie Sheen or the check.

641
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,920
Speaker 2: TVD You guys, I can't imagine a world where I

642
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 2: wouldn't cash a million dollar check.

643
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 3: Ever, So they were I can divorce. What were they

644
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 3: divorced yet?

645
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 2: Yeah?

646
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 3: I need to know more of it.

647
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 2: It was over a decade ago, so during her move

648
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 2: she wrote, you know, I never cashed it at Charlie

649
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 2: Sheen is still good? But I mean, I guess when

650
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 2: you have that much money, like, let's say, the Kardashian's

651
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 2: get a million dollar check, What does that really to them?

652
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 3: Their money?

653
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 4: Sure, but like goodness, well it's the It probably is

654
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 4: the feelings associated with it.

655
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think there's people I definitely wouldn't cash.

656
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 2: I wouldn't cash checks from certain people in my life.

657
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 2: I think, what if it was child support? That's like

658
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 2: that sounds like a child support check. Well, like that's

659
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 2: again like, what's the money for them? Yeah, what's it?

660
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 2: What is the check for I guess.

661
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: It sounds like a fight to me where he was

662
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 1: like they're like fight and was like, fine, here's your money,

663
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: take your money. And it was never like a real

664
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 1: like here's money. And so she didn't actually cash it.

665
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 3: Would you cash? It depends on the.

666
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: Like what it was. Yeah, if it was in the

667
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 1: middle of a fight and I said this.

668
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 3: Is wild to Jaana that we wouldn't cash, I didn't

669
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 3: say I would cash. I said, it depends on the situation.

670
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 3: There's people so I'm an ex husband. If an ex

671
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 3: husband is.

672
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 1: And he says absolutely, if there's a million dollars in

673
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: the bank.

674
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 3: Well I don't think he would. Can you I mean,

675
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 3: I guess you can.

676
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: Any check you want trust me. I've had plenty bounds,

677
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 1: not like I've been given to me. Oh yeah, that's

678
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: a whole other story.

679
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 3: But do people still write check?

680
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 4: I love a check. I'm sure that's not shocking to people.

681
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 4: I love the paperwork and the postage stamp.

682
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 1: You can write whatever you want that. It just feels

683
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 1: like this was like a disagreement, and yeah, I.

684
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 3: Don't like it. I don't like that. I don't think

685
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 3: I like the tone in which the check was written,

686
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 3: and therefore I wouldn't catch it.

687
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: Oh see, if I don't like the tone, I'm definitely well,

688
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 1: it's a different kind of dome if it's like you

689
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: take it.

690
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 3: It's like, I'm just confused, Like if.

691
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 2: Someone's giving me a check, that means that they need

692
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 2: to Okay, I'll say this, if someone gave me a

693
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 2: uh a silencing check, I wouldn't do that.

694
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 3: Well, that's what I'm one. That's what I think going

695
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 3: to be only.

696
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 2: Asterisk that I would not catch, Like, yeah, cash a check.

697
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 2: If someone said I will give you this much to

698
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 2: be quiet about this, and I'm.

699
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 3: Like, oh I could see that being that situation.

700
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 4: Yeah that's the case, then I wouldn't have been and

701
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 4: have cashed it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I need

702
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 4: to get on and tell us more details. Yeah, we

703
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 4: need denise online.

704
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 2: One women ends her marriage of twenty five years. Guys,

705
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 2: I love this after her husband eats her slice of cake.

706
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 3: So which one of us is most likely to be

707
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 3: the one for a slice of cake? Because it's not

708
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 3: about the slice of cake. It's never about cake. It's

709
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 3: not about the football. I mean, you were getting on

710
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 3: to the trend. It's about football. It's not about the dishwasher.

711
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 3: It's not about football.

712
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 2: It's not about the and listen, they've been having problems

713
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 2: for a while, so she basically, you know, put this

714
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 2: out on Reddit. She was, you know, they were having

715
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 2: a really rough last.

716
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 3: You know, she said.

717
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 2: She reflected on the years, uh after caring for this man,

718
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 2: being his made mother and sex object for twenty five years,

719
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 2: raising his kids, caring for her home, his finances, making

720
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 2: his freaking doctor's appointments. I can't even have my freaking

721
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 2: anniversary cake, she said. And I think there everyone comes

722
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 2: to that point in the end where it is the

723
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 2: smallest thing. Yeah, maybe to somebody else, but the fact

724
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 2: that he ate her cake, it's like what else do

725
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 2: you know cake? Yeah, and had it too, like I'll

726
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 2: never forget Amy, our therapist. She was telling a story

727
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 2: about this woman who was abused every single day, I

728
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 2: mean physically abused from this man, over and over and

729
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 2: over and over, and it's like, no matter how hard

730
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 2: he hit her, choked her, the whole thing, but he

731
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 2: took a bat to her grandmother's table that she had

732
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 2: gotten when he died, when her grandmother died, And she's like,

733
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 2: when he took that bat to my grandmother's table, She's like,

734
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,719
Speaker 2: that was it. And she goes and Amy's like, but

735
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 2: he's been hitting you every day.

736
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 3: She goes.

737
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 2: It's the fact that he did that to something that

738
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 2: meant so so special to me and she ended up

739
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: leaving because of that. So it takes something that really

740
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 2: just and for this lady, it was the what the

741
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 2: meaning of taking the piece of cake was. And we

742
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 2: all have that moment. I mean I had it with

743
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 2: my you know, with my ex husband, you know. So

744
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: it's never about the cake, yeah, I mean for yeah,

745
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 2: I mean I wrote about in the book so I

746
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 2: could say it. But it was when he threw the

747
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 2: clothes at me, and I just remember going after all this,

748
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 2: after fighting through so many years of all of your

749
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 2: infidelity over and over and over again, and all the

750
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 2: other things that I will not speak about. I'm getting

751
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 2: wet laundry chucked at me after having surgery and him

752
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 2: coming at me and mocking me for being upset and crying,

753
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 2: and it was just like I remember, just I didn't

754
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 2: have anger or rage. I just looked at him and

755
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 2: was like, I'm done, you know. And after that was

756
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 2: when I found out that he cheated again. Once I

757
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 2: went down the whole rabbit hole. That was because the

758
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 2: next morning is when I found the thing, and that

759
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 2: was then obviously the real but that moment I almost

760
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 2: don't even think I need it.

761
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 3: I probably did.

762
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,720
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna but you know, it was that moment

763
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 2: really truly, I'll never forget it. And then that's when

764
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, Grandpa, like give me, give me

765
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 2: one more thing. And then the next morning was when

766
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 2: I saw the confirmation of affair again. So it's just

767
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 2: like a calm certainty when we hit that point, yeah,

768
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:26,839
Speaker 2: and they really confident, like and we're done here.

769
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we're done. But that's the piece of cake.

770
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 2: And so I just started thinking about that because I'm like,

771
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:35,839
Speaker 2: it's never about that the alls, It's just so much

772
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 2: more than that.

773
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 3: Divorce is never a piece of cake. We've learned our Listen.

774
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 2: Hey there, my name is Lacey. I have a question

775
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 2: about traveling with kids to see the in laws on

776
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,799
Speaker 2: the holidays. For my family to go visit my in laws,

777
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 2: it's going to be thousands of dollars to get down

778
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 2: there in plane tickets for a family of four, including

779
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 2: rental car and needing a place to stay. Everybody else

780
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 2: in the family is either single or newly married, so

781
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 2: they don't understand the financial burden of this trip. They

782
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 2: think it's not that big of a deal. I see

783
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:01,839
Speaker 2: this as money that could be used for my kids

784
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 2: Christmas or family vacation that we actually want to go on.

785
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 2: We can go see them any other time of the

786
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 2: year and it would be a lot cheaper. Am I

787
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 2: being selfish? And we just need to spend the money

788
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 2: to go see our family because that is what you

789
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 2: do for your family over the holidays. Are my kids

790
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 2: missing out by not being with her family over the holidays?

791
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 2: Or is this a healthy boundary to set for my

792
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 2: family about being smart with our money. When we can

793
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 2: go see them another time for less money.

794
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 3: I think it's a healthy boundary. I feel, like I

795
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 3: wrote in I'm Lazy. Yeah, Lacey and I think a

796
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,760
Speaker 3: lot of like, Yah, it's tricky.

797
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 2: So we've discussed this too, because listen, there is a

798
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 2: world where we would love to see Alan's family for Christmas.

799
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 2: Of course, it is expensive to fly over there. We

800
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,880
Speaker 2: don't have a place to stay. You know, their place

801
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 2: is smaller, so there isn't room for all of us,

802
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,359
Speaker 2: so we would have to get an airbnb and then

803
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:56,360
Speaker 2: a car, and so that really adds up. So I think, Lacey,

804
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 2: what I would just offer is if it's like a

805
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 2: once every couple years, you know, and yeah, we also

806
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 2: want to go see them too when the weather's nicer

807
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,240
Speaker 2: in Scotland, you know, where we can go do more things.

808
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 2: So maybe that is when you and I don't think

809
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 2: it's taking away from your kids being with the family,

810
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 2: because you can make family memories.

811
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 3: Other times of the holidays. I love staying home for

812
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 3: the holidays, I really do.

813
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 2: I do too. I really like to hunger down and

814
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 2: everyone is welcome. I always say, like open door, everyone's welcome,

815
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 2: you know. But I don't think it's selfish of you

816
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 2: at all, and I think it's good to be conscious

817
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 2: of that as well.

818
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 4: And I think it's a good shift when you have

819
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 4: kids like we, you know, like we obviously want our

820
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 4: kids home at Christmas morning, Like that really matters to

821
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 4: me more I think than Preston, because even the year

822
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 4: he's like we should go do something, I'm like, no,

823
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 4: it's like that feeling in our home, like it's just special.

824
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 4: And things shift when you have kids, and I wonder

825
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 4: if there's a way that they could maybe be proactive.

826
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 4: This is like laughable at least in our families. I

827
00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,359
Speaker 4: feel like our schedules but proactive and know these dates

828
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 4: ahead of time, so you do have a better chance

829
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 4: maybe at getting things discounted or getting it done early

830
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 4: because that I don't know.

831
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 1: I think it's it's hard to spend a lot of

832
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,840
Speaker 1: money around Christmas time to so hard and tru to

833
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: understand that.

834
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 3: And they jack up all the prices. It's just really

835
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 3: a lot.

836
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's an and the stress that I think,

837
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 1: you know, you don't even want you know, if you're

838
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: not even you don't want to, but if you're already

839
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: feeling that way and then add that stress of more money.

840
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 1: I think you set that healthy boundary.

841
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, stay home lazy, come hang out with us lazy

842
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 4: for you too, Yes, ladies, we got to get ready.

843
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 3: See you guys next week by