1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:01,800 Speaker 1: We got an email from a listener who asked us 2 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: to prank her big sister right before her birthday. Apparently 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:10,320 Speaker 1: Big Sis is nearing the big five. Oho, she's turning 4 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: forty nine soon, and she's mentioned she hates thinking about 5 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 1: getting older. So the last thing that we want to 6 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 1: do is make her feel self conscious about that. No, no, 7 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,960 Speaker 1: we're not going to do that. We'll let our high 8 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:28,920 Speaker 1: tech facial recognition software do. Get in your phone tapped 9 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: right now. Hello, Hi, this is Greg from Aston's customer service. 10 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:40,479 Speaker 1: Is this Marjorie? 11 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:42,160 Speaker 2: Oh? 12 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, Hi, Hi Marjorie. You're in here the other day 13 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,840 Speaker 1: shopping with us. Yeah, looks like you got a fantastic 14 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: deal on grapes. Okay, it's exciting. 15 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 2: Is there a reason for your call? 16 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, sure there is. The reason I'm calling is that 17 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 1: our camera's caught something in the store when you were here. What. 18 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: I'm glad they saw it. 19 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 2: I didn't do anything wrong. 20 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: Oh I know. In fact, congratulations are in order because 21 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: you just bumped up to our Golden Year's Platinum Discount Club. 22 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's me clapping because I'm excited for you. 23 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 2: I don't understand. What do you mean? 24 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, we must have had your birthday wrong in our 25 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:35,680 Speaker 1: system because our facial software program says you're at least 26 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: sixty three, So we apologize. 27 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:40,479 Speaker 2: I'm forty eight. 28 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 1: Forty eight. You're funny. I like you, Marjorie. So anyway, 29 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: congrats on the senior citizen perks that you've unlocked. They 30 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 1: are beyond incredible. 31 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 2: I love perks, but I am good. 32 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: Then if you love perks, then you are gonna love 33 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: that you get fifteen percent off of all Prune juice 34 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: juice not a Prune fan, That's fine. It just means 35 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: that you're regular, which is more than I can say 36 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,639 Speaker 1: for my grandparents. 37 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 2: Why are you comparing me to your grandparents and asking 38 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 2: me whether or not I'm regular? 39 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: Because you know what my grandparents love is that they 40 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,359 Speaker 1: also get an extra ten percent off compression socks and 41 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,639 Speaker 1: where there's originals. 42 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 2: Excuse me, what a deal? I do not need any 43 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 2: of those things. 44 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: Wow? Okay, So so you're saying you don't want the 45 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 1: free Life Alert necklace that automatically calls the deli counter. 46 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 2: If you fall kidding me, why would I need that? 47 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 2: I have a cell phone. 48 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: I think the question is why would you even pass 49 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: that up? 50 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,839 Speaker 2: I haven't fallen and I can get up. Okay, I'm 51 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 2: like the commercial for old. 52 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: People, okey doke, I hear you necklace out the door, 53 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,399 Speaker 1: but you can't say no to our complimentary early bird 54 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,920 Speaker 1: special cube on book and the free pamphlet on how 55 00:02:55,960 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 1: to use TikTok iok Hey, good for you, but you 56 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,359 Speaker 1: still may want it, though, because our pamphlet does cover 57 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,080 Speaker 1: very important topics like how to tell if a video 58 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: is a scam or why your nephew won't accept your 59 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,360 Speaker 1: friend request online. 60 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 2: I am not a senior citizen now, are you sure? 61 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 1: Because right now you qualify for our priority scooter access 62 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:22,640 Speaker 1: in store. Oh my god, are you going to no 63 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: more waiting in line? It's just beat beaten, roll past 64 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:26,919 Speaker 1: those slow walkers and aisle seit see. 65 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 2: I did a marathon last year. 66 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: You mean like a senior marathon where you walk around 67 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: the home a few times around the block. 68 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 2: No, I'm not speed walking in a mall. I'm running 69 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 2: a marathon, and I don't want to be on any 70 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 2: stupid senior citizenship. 71 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, okay, so I'm just kind of catching 72 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: up here. You're saying that you're not sixty three. 73 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 2: Oh my god. No, I'm forty eight. 74 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: My bad software is bad. I I'm going to process 75 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: your removal right now. Is that okay with you? Yes? 76 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 1: And let me just work. Oh oh god, it looks 77 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: like my system is glitching here. 78 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, it must be glitching if it says I look 79 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 2: like I'm sixty three. 80 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: Okay, this is not good. 81 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 82 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,359 Speaker 1: Look, if I can't remove you, we're going to have 83 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,719 Speaker 1: to assign you a shopping buddy the next time you 84 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:27,839 Speaker 1: get in a shopping It's a very nice teenage employee 85 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: to help you reach things on the top shelf and. 86 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 2: Also what is wrong with you? 87 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 1: Well, he'll also explain the slang words to you, the 88 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: modern stuff you might not understand. 89 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 2: This is so annoying. Why are you even let me 90 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:41,600 Speaker 2: speak to a manager? 91 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:46,279 Speaker 1: Oh, we actually have two. It's Brooke and Jeffrey. Have 92 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 1: you heard of them? 93 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,839 Speaker 2: No, I don't know the managers of your store. 94 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: No, it's Brook and Jeffrey. In the morning. They're the 95 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: ones who do those prank phone calls on the radio 96 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: like this one. 97 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 2: Oh my god, are you for real? 98 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm for real or I'm not for real. I 99 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: don't really know. But your sister Sabrina set you up 100 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: for it. Oh my god. 101 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like so offended. 102 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, she said that your birthday is coming up and 103 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: you hate thinking about getting older, so she wanted us 104 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: to screw with you. 105 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 2: I can't believe she did that. 106 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 1: Look, just for all your trouble, we feel bad. We're 107 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: gonna put the adult diapers off to the side of 108 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 1: the store just for you. We're gonna have a label 109 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 1: that says these are for Marjorie, do not touch. 110 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 2: Ex wake up every morning with food taps weekday mornings. 111 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 1: I'm the twenties frooking Jeffrey in the morning.