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Speaker 1: This is John, this is them Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and.

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Speaker 2: We have some.

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Speaker 3: Good story is coming up for you. That's right.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a little more sol of

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Speaker 1: a two minute ad break from the sponsors, keeping the

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Speaker 1: show delicious.

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Speaker 4: Hmm, I stopped wearing my engagement ring. My fiance is

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Speaker 4: not happy about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well are you still engaged?

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Speaker 4: I'm twenty seven female and I am on the artistic spectrum.

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Speaker 4: I'm on the high functioning side of things, and after

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Speaker 4: dealing with numerous trial and errors throughout my whole life,

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Speaker 4: I thought I finally had a handle on this whole

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Speaker 4: social Q thing and it finally mastered understanding people. This

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Speaker 4: recent turn of events has making me think I'm not

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Speaker 4: as good as I pride myself to be, that I

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Speaker 4: still have a very long ways to go. I think

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Speaker 4: I accidentally hurt the person who means the most to

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Speaker 4: me in the world, and I am turning to Reddit

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Speaker 4: for advice and a neutral third party perspective. Perfect place

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Speaker 4: they come Weedy Pie. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 4: Mideficial Goose eighty nine and if you want to submit

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Speaker 4: your own stories, go to our slash Okay storytengu sub

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Speaker 4: so my fiance, let's call him Ethan, twenty six, is

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Speaker 4: the love of my life and my best friend. I

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Speaker 4: want nothing more than to spend the rest of my

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Speaker 4: life with him. We've been dating for almost five years.

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Speaker 4: When he proposed to me last month, I can easily

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Speaker 4: say that this was the happiest moment of my life.

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Speaker 4: I have had several people in the past tell me

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Speaker 4: I will never find someone who will love me because

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Speaker 4: no man wants an autistic wife. And even though I

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Speaker 4: knew people with autism coming had stable relationships, I just

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Speaker 4: never thought I would have one. Considering I don't like

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Speaker 4: being touched or hugged, even by my own parents, it

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Speaker 4: made sense that I would hate something like spicy sleep

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Speaker 4: even more. That changed when I realized I wanted to

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Speaker 4: spend the rest of my life with Ethan and warning

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Speaker 4: things like holding your hands and hugging or receive a

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Speaker 4: light kiss on the cheek. These things which I thought

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Speaker 4: I were disgusting and still do with other people, now

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Speaker 4: made me giddy and are enjoyable. And I thought that

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Speaker 4: having a husband and a family was suddenly a possibility

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Speaker 4: in my future. I never wore jewelry growing up because

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Speaker 4: of my religious upbringing and deeply eyes most engagement rings

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Speaker 4: that are highly decorative or have gem stones. My fiance

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Speaker 4: knows this and picked out a plane engagement ring that

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Speaker 4: has a silver and flat with no textures, so I

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Speaker 4: wouldn't have trouble with it. I know most women would

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Speaker 4: find the minimalness to be quite offensive, but I can't

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Speaker 4: express how much this simple little ring means to me.

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Speaker 4: I love it so much, and I am just so

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Speaker 4: happy and excited about this whole thing that I can't

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Speaker 4: stop talking about it to my friends and family. Already

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Speaker 4: have a thought in a solution, but I have to

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Speaker 4: do it later because it's too far in advance. The

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Speaker 4: problem started because although I love the ring, I found

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Speaker 4: out that getting used to wearing a ring when I

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Speaker 4: have never worn jewelry in my life is very difficult.

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Speaker 4: The only thing I wear that is remotely similar to

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Speaker 4: jewelry is my medication Alert bracelet, which took me months

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Speaker 4: to get used to wearing. I stim whatever I'm excited

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Speaker 4: or stressed, and I would fiddle with the ring NonStop

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Speaker 4: while it was on my finger until it was badly bruised.

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Speaker 4: I ended up wearing the ring on a necklace around

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Speaker 4: my neck that talks into my shirt, so I'll always

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Speaker 4: have it with me and slip my finger on it

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Speaker 4: for several minutes throughout the day when I'm alone and

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Speaker 4: not exposed the things that will trigger me to start

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Speaker 4: stimming while I'm de synthesizing me to wearing it. This

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Speaker 4: has always been my tactic for how I transition myself

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Speaker 4: into new things. I like this, I like this, like

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Speaker 4: it's perfect. Yeah, it's like the ring is like right

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Speaker 4: close to your heart too. It's like a totally it's beautiful. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it is what it is.

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Speaker 5: It's like it's bruising you though, that's weird.

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Speaker 3: I've never been bruised by a ring. And when she's.

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Speaker 4: Probably like fidgeting with it too much.

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Speaker 5: That does not fidget with these moves, but she must

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Speaker 5: be doing it in a way. I don't know. I

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Speaker 5: can't imagine it, but it does.

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Speaker 4: Suck in all the excitement. I apparently hadn't noticed that

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Speaker 4: my new fiance had become more reserved than usual. A

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Speaker 4: mutual friend actually had a pointed this out to me, because,

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Speaker 4: in my mind, shouldn't have been a reason for him

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Speaker 4: to be desponded when this was supposed to be the

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Speaker 4: happiest time of our lives. I asked him about it,

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Speaker 4: and he eventually admitted his disappointment that I wasn't wearing

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Speaker 4: my engagement ring. I told him I've never warn a

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Speaker 4: ring before and it just takes time to get used to.

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Speaker 4: He knows about my sensitivity and basically just nodded his

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Speaker 4: head and we moved on. But he still seems distant,

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Speaker 4: and although he hasn't had anything to say to me,

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Speaker 4: I still think he's upset that I'm not wearing the ring.

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Speaker 4: I've tried wearing the ring around him to try to

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Speaker 4: appease him, and I don't think it is helping. I

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Speaker 4: don't know if he thinks that I am ashamed of

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Speaker 4: the ring, or of him, or what he possibly could

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Speaker 4: be thinking. I don't know where I went wrong, and

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Speaker 4: I'm afraid that he may be rethinking committing himself to me.

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Speaker 4: I'm afraid of losing the love of my life. He's

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Speaker 4: the only person I want to be with, and losing

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Speaker 4: him would devastate me. It hurts enough just knowing that

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Speaker 4: I hurt him without knowing what I can do to

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Speaker 4: fix it. I want to know if I'm missing something

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Speaker 4: here or how to explain to him that he is

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Speaker 4: the best thing has ever happened to me, and once

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Speaker 4: I get used to being able to wear the ring,

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Speaker 4: that I am never going to take it off. Any

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Speaker 4: advice would be much appreciated.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, advice for this, yeah, I would say, especially you know,

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Speaker 5: with autism, it's not just like having a conversation is

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Speaker 5: not necessarily the most simple or easy to accomplish task.

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Speaker 5: But I feel like that's what you gotta do. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: you know, show them the finger, show them the bruise,

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Speaker 5: be like, look, I'm just wearing it. I mess with it.

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Speaker 5: I love you like it's on next to my heart

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Speaker 5: all day. I'm not ashamed of you. Yeah, I want

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Speaker 5: to show you off to the whole town.

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Speaker 3: I'd give you a parade.

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Speaker 5: If you feel like it's going to be really hard

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Speaker 5: for you to say it in person, try writing it out,

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Speaker 5: like write them a letter.

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Speaker 3: Obviously you talk to your partner. Because there's ways you

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Speaker 3: can work around this.

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Speaker 2: You know, people in the comments said you can get

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Speaker 2: a tattoo for like getting a ring, or you know,

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Speaker 2: to symbolize your love.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be through the ring.

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Speaker 4: You can do other things. Yeah, something that's special to

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Speaker 4: you guys, if I was in a situation like this,

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Speaker 4: I think it'd be really sweet that she has around

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Speaker 4: her neck and she puts it on a couple of

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Speaker 4: times a day when she fased me.

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Speaker 3: I love that you're with.

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Speaker 4: Someone that has autism or like a neuro divergency. I

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Speaker 4: think you should expect this or like have a conversation

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Speaker 4: about this. Yeah you know, and be okay with it.

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Speaker 4: So think of some creative solutions that would be beneficial

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Speaker 4: to both of you. Update. Thank you all for your call.

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Speaker 4: I really appreciate all you talking in the time to

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Speaker 4: share your thoughts. I spend the beret to part of

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Speaker 4: an hour just reading all of them. I was already

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Speaker 4: planning on speaking with my fiance when I made this post.

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Speaker 4: I mostly was just looking for any extra advice and

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Speaker 4: hopefully see where he's coming from to clear some things up.

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Speaker 4: Some people suggested that either he is or he suspects

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Speaker 4: me of cheating on him, and I doubt that is

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Speaker 4: the case for religious reasons. Both of us are virgins

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Speaker 4: until and we'll stay that way until after we get married.

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Speaker 4: I know this may seem like a red flag for

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Speaker 4: some people, not me, but we are both raised with

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Speaker 4: the belief that spicy sleep is something very special and

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Speaker 4: intimate that you and you share with your husband or wife.

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Speaker 4: In other words, it's very precious to us and we

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Speaker 4: want to only share it with each other.

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Speaker 5: Beautiful, Hey, fair enough, You're allowed to make that decision.

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Speaker 4: Love that Hell you, guys. My worries stem more from

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Speaker 4: the fact that I'm going to mess this up somehow.

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Speaker 4: Whenever things seem to go right or I think that

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Speaker 4: everything is fine, I get blindsided. I've lost many friends

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Speaker 4: because I either didn't pick up on certain signals or

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Speaker 4: because I didn't respond like I should have. It has

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Speaker 4: led a lot of blame and self loathing towards myself

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Speaker 4: and on my autism, and this is something I'm still

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Speaker 4: working on. I'm mostly afraid that the life I never

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Speaker 4: thought I would ever have will be taken from me

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Speaker 4: before it even starts. To experience all these feelings and

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Speaker 4: dreams of starting a life with the person I love,

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Speaker 4: only to mess it up because I'm bad at communicating

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Speaker 4: my thoughts and perceiving other people's feelings is very terrifying

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Speaker 4: thought to me. To those who suggested silicon rings, thank

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Speaker 4: you so much for this advice. I did not know

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Speaker 4: those things existed, and I definitely will be looking into

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Speaker 4: it as an option. I want to say that I

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Speaker 4: am okay with wearing a metal ring. It will just

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Speaker 4: take me some time to get used to it. It's

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Speaker 4: the same thing when I had to start wearing bras

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Speaker 4: and my medical alert bracelet. Sometimes I really want to

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Speaker 4: wear the ring he picked out for me. Thank you

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Speaker 4: all for the people who suggested I show him this post.

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Speaker 4: It may not seem like it, but it is very

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Speaker 4: difficult for me to communicate my thoughts verbally, and I

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Speaker 4: am much better at sharing my thoughts in written form

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Speaker 4: with light.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, Kyd's common in you know, among the neurodivergent community.

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Speaker 5: It's like, I mean, even for me, it's like if

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Speaker 5: I don't write stuff down like on a daily basis,

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Speaker 5: I completely lose track of what I think.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I plan on talking to him tonight, so I'll

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Speaker 4: keep you all updated. Oh update two. Sorry for the

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Speaker 4: light update. I had to go to the er yesterday.

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Speaker 4: Everything is fine now, oh my gosh. But I apologize

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Speaker 4: in advance if this post sounds a little weak and

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Speaker 4: or drumbled, as I'm still recovering. So Ethan and I

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Speaker 4: finally had our talk and it went better than I

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Speaker 4: could have voted for.

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Speaker 3: Okay good.

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Speaker 4: I told him the thoughts that I've been having for

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Speaker 4: the past few days, and he finally told me why

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Speaker 4: he seems so withdrawed. Long story short, it turns out

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Speaker 4: his friends were actually the problem. They apparently weren't convinced

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Speaker 4: that a girl could be so excited over a plain

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Speaker 4: silver ring as an engagement ring. Told Ethan that I

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Speaker 4: was probably faking my excitement and backed up their claims

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Speaker 4: by the fact that I wasn't wearing my rings on

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Speaker 4: their fingers as evidence. They were apparently getting on his

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Speaker 4: case about the fact he didn't buy the most ring

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Speaker 4: he could afford, that I was thinking that he was cheap.

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Speaker 5: He's got that slimy grima worm tongue counsel in his ears.

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Speaker 3: And your girlfriend doesn't like your ring.

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Speaker 5: She doesn't want you, and to give you that Lord

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Speaker 5: of the rings, Laura right.

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Speaker 4: They kept on saying how I'm supposed to be the

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Speaker 4: most important person of him, and that I deserve the

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Speaker 4: best from him, and other comments like that. I ended

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Speaker 4: up telling him how much I love the ring because

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Speaker 4: it's the one thing he ultimately chose with the intent

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Speaker 4: on proposing we spend the rest of our lives together

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Speaker 4: with I told him I could care less how much

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Speaker 4: it costs, only that he was the one who got

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Speaker 4: it for me. I told him I wanted to wear

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Speaker 4: the ring. It's just taking me some time to get

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Speaker 4: used to it. And because I'm still very excited about it,

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Speaker 4: I keep bruising my finger by fiddling with it. By

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Speaker 4: everyone's suggestions and the comments, I showed him this post

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Speaker 4: and he found it to be the funniest thing in

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Speaker 4: the world. Even now, out of nowhere, he'll just start

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Speaker 4: chuckling and say Ethan, really, out of all the names

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Speaker 4: you went with Ethan when we were alone. Sometimes he'll

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Speaker 4: only respond if I call him Ethan. So I now

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Speaker 4: have the feeling that the joke is never going to

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Speaker 4: pass away until do us part. And by the way,

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Speaker 4: don't let do us apart. All you gotta do is

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Speaker 4: go to your favorite podcast platform, press play, and you

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Speaker 4: may rest in peace for the rest of your life

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Speaker 4: with by how many days?

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Speaker 5: Now ninety nine we're ten days away from the funny number.

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Speaker 4: Holy cow, guys, you can rest in peace for fifty

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Speaker 4: nine days straight after you press play. And yeah, we

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Speaker 4: got a little bit more left. But it's kind of

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Speaker 4: crazy how she was thinking this over here, he was

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Speaker 4: thinking this over here, and what brought them here? What

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Speaker 4: all did they have to do?

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Speaker 5: Communication?

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Speaker 3: That's it? Yeah, wow wow.

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Speaker 4: And I'm very proud of op because I know how

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Speaker 4: difficult this is for her to communicate with their partner.

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Speaker 4: That just shows the hardest thing is the right thing

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Speaker 4: to do.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes when you are, you know, come up to an obstacle,

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Speaker 4: you don't know what to do. What's the hardest thing,

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Speaker 4: That's the thing you gotta do. We spent the rest

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Speaker 4: of the night reading through the comments and giggling at

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Speaker 4: what some of you said. I'm sorry if the end

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Speaker 4: result then it live up to your expectations. It didn't mind,

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Speaker 4: but I'm just glad. Thanks turn out all right. Thank

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Speaker 4: you all for the comments and suggestions. They really helped

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Speaker 4: and giving me the confidence I need to initiate the conversation.

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Speaker 4: We are both introverted and usually the suffering silence type,

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Speaker 4: so sometimes it's hard for either of us start talking

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Speaker 4: about her feelings. It can lead to some rather hilarious,

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Speaker 4: awkward conversations, and this was one no different. We're talking

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Speaker 4: about having the wedding in the spring or fall of

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Speaker 4: twenty twenty two. All right, and they're married, and hopefully

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Speaker 4: this was a good step for them to like, Hey,

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Speaker 4: we're going to be doing with this kind of stuff

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Speaker 4: during our marriage. This is a practice run. Yeah, but guys,

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Speaker 4: that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: My fiance disapproves of my female best man, I want

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Speaker 2: to call off the engagement.

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Speaker 3: Well, we're taking down all these gender roles, yeah, watch out.

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Speaker 2: So I twenty eight male, proposed to my girlfriend Yezmen

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Speaker 2: twenty four female in March. Earlier this week, she and

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Speaker 2: I were talking about wedding plans and she already picked

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Speaker 2: out who her bridesmaids were going to be, and was

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Speaker 2: questioning me about my groomsmen to see who'd walk with

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Speaker 2: who and all that. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: my groomsman's a girl. And if you want to spend

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Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the Okay storytime subret it.

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Speaker 2: So I told her who I wanted and let her

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Speaker 2: know that my best man was actually gonna be my friend.

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Speaker 2: Kate twenty seven female, yas me and kind of freaked

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Speaker 2: and was really adamant about her not being the best man.

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Speaker 2: I asked her why, and she listed off a lot

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Speaker 2: of reasons, none of which I believe. She said, it'll

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Speaker 2: look weird and photo, it'll be weird when Kate is

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Speaker 2: to walk down the aisle with her maid of honor,

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Speaker 2: that she doesn't want Kate to be distracting to guess

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Speaker 2: that Kate's too short. Wtf to stand next to a

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Speaker 2: bunch of six foot guys. The reasons were ridiculous, and

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Speaker 2: I told her as much. She told me I should

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Speaker 2: respect her wishes for the wedding and gave me suggestions

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Speaker 2: for other best mans. I know the real reason might

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Speaker 2: be jealousy, but I don't want to just drop it

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Speaker 2: and go along with her insecurities. We ended up getting

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Speaker 2: into a big argument. Yas was that I wasn't budging

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Speaker 2: on my stance, and I was mad she was acting

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Speaker 2: so irrational. She was really accusatory about why I wanted

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Speaker 2: Kate in the wedding so bad. Maybe because she's his friend.

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Speaker 2: I finally told her, if she doesn't want to let

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Speaker 2: me have this one thing, maybe there shouldn't be a

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Speaker 2: wedding at all.

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Speaker 3: Ooh tough oooo.

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Speaker 2: She got really angry and told me to just leave

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Speaker 2: our apartment. I've been CouchSurfing out of friends for the

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Speaker 2: past couple days, not Kate. Last time I tried to

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Speaker 2: talk to Yeah, she asked if I was ready to apologize. No,

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Speaker 2: because I don't want her to think she was right

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Speaker 2: about forbidding me from letting Kate be in the wedding.

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Speaker 2: And before anyone asks, no, Kate and I have never

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Speaker 2: been spicy related or romantic. She's been one of my

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Speaker 2: closest friends and introduced me to my current social circle.

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Speaker 2: I used to be an awkward, nerdy guy who had

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Speaker 2: trouble making friends. Now I'm an awkward, nerdy guy with

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Speaker 2: a social life. We survived grad school together and she's

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Speaker 2: been with me through high and low parts of life,

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Speaker 2: and it seems insane to not include her in my wedding.

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Speaker 2: Yeas and Kate know each other but aren't friends, And

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Speaker 2: over time, Yaz got used to me having a close

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Speaker 2: female friend without being jealous or mistrusting or so I thought,

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Speaker 2: Uh oh am, I the ale edit, I should mention

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Speaker 2: yas me and has never acted this way before and

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Speaker 2: is usually pretty easy going and understanding. And she didn't

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Speaker 2: so much as punt me out as she said, well,

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Speaker 2: maybe you should just go then, and I called her

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Speaker 2: bluff and left. She tried to get me to come

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Speaker 2: back and also apologize, but we're both hard headed when

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Speaker 2: it comes to what we want. I don't want to

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Speaker 2: call off the wedding, and I get why Yaz was

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Speaker 2: upset by me saying we should, but I wanted her

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Speaker 2: to know how serious I was. Edit to no idea

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Speaker 2: if anyone read this. I went back home today after

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Speaker 2: cooling off, and Yeas and I had a long talk

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Speaker 2: and I'm not going to go into the details, and

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Speaker 2: we're gonna pause really quick before we get into the details.

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Speaker 3: Yep, But what do you think. I don't think you're

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Speaker 3: the ale. Yeah, I don't think so. I think this

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Speaker 3: needs to be more of a discussion of like, why

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Speaker 3: is this coming up all of a sudden, not just

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Speaker 3: like no, let me do it now, you can't do it,

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Speaker 3: you know, like it needs to go underneath the surface.

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Speaker 3: I absolutely agree.

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Speaker 2: If you guys were about to get married, don't just

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Speaker 2: be like, well, you're not getting married, we're breaking up,

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Speaker 2: you're jealous, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 3: It's like, let's have an adult conversation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, where you guys, because presumably if you're about to

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Speaker 2: get married, you've had other conflict before fully that you've

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Speaker 2: gotten through. So just take a minute, see if you

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Speaker 2: can reason with her, see if this is something that

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Speaker 2: she's gonna kind of make a fuss about your whole marriage,

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Speaker 2: and then.

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Speaker 3: We'll see where we go from there.

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Speaker 2: I agree, but definitely pause the marriage. We're not calling

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Speaker 2: off the wedding good okay, but we're gonna talk about

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Speaker 2: this more and try to come up with a mutual solution.

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Speaker 2: No idea what that is yet. And just to address

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Speaker 2: a few things I've seen a lot of. No, Kate

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Speaker 2: is not single. YEAHS and Kate are friendly, but they

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Speaker 2: aren't friends. I'm not very close to any of yet

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Speaker 2: as his friends either. Kate and I have known each

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Speaker 2: other for almost seven years. I've been with Yaz for two.

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Speaker 2: I am not attracted to Kate and we're not going

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Speaker 2: to run off into the sunset together. Stop watching bad

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Speaker 2: rom coms. It's twenty twenty. I could be friends with

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Speaker 2: a woman without wanting to sleep with her. I'm not

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Speaker 2: choosing another woman over Yazz. If Kate were a man

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Speaker 2: and Yaz didn't want him in the wedding, I'd have

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Speaker 2: a right to be pissed. But since Kate's a woman

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Speaker 2: suddenly I don't love my fiance enough. That's b s

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Speaker 2: oh and if you've implied I'm going to have an

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Speaker 2: affair or already cheated f off And there are some

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Speaker 2: comments and an update. Actually, good question to ask is

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Speaker 2: has she had a problem with Kate prior to this?

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00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,680
Speaker 2: You know, was their kind of hesitancy on letting you

378
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,680
Speaker 2: guys hang out? Did she ever make comments about Kate

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00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 2: about your guys' closeness? Right, because presumably your closest showed

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00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,240
Speaker 2: up in different ways than just the best man stuff. Yeah,

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00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,800
Speaker 2: you know, like it was probably there before. So how

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Speaker 2: was she reacting before all this? I want to know.

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00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:04,240
Speaker 2: I want to know that comment one. This wedding is

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Speaker 2: just as much your day as it is hers, and

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00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,159
Speaker 2: you absolutely deserve to have someone up there that you

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Speaker 2: trust as your best won slash man. Your fiance needs

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Speaker 2: to not only recognize that, but figure out whatever insecurity

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Speaker 2: is causing her to lash out in this manner.

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Speaker 3: A reply, I.

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Speaker 2: Really don't think it's insecurities as much as wanting a

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Speaker 2: picture perfect traditional wedding party Breadsilla, but what will other

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Speaker 2: people think? And the pictures won't match man woman, she

393
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,800
Speaker 2: said it herself when she mentioned them walking down the aisle. Reply,

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Speaker 2: I don't think so. Those sound like deflecting reasons to me,

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Speaker 2: like she's trying to come up with any reason other

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Speaker 2: than the real one. Based on the amount of reasons

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Speaker 2: she provides and her apparent lack of depth to support them,

398
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Speaker 2: and op saying he doesn't believe them to be reasons.

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00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 2: Another reply, when did wedding photos become more about looking

400
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Speaker 2: perfect and less about commemorating a special event with the

401
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Speaker 2: people who are important to you?

402
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Speaker 3: Comment two.

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Speaker 2: I'd be asking myself why they don't. I don't get

404
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:03,439
Speaker 2: on reasonably well by this stage, presuming that Ope and

405
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 2: fiance have known each other and their respective friends for

406
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,280
Speaker 2: at least a couple of years. Sure, they don't need

407
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,399
Speaker 2: to be best buds, but to not be friends at

408
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,639
Speaker 2: all makes me question the whole shebang. Some thing's not

409
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,360
Speaker 2: right here, Opie says. I mean, they get along fine,

410
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,760
Speaker 2: but the only time they interact is through me.

411
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Speaker 3: I mean, well, they don't necessarily have to hang out outside.

412
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,719
Speaker 2: I't have to be best friends, but should be kind

413
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,440
Speaker 2: of like a little rapport. If we go to dinner

414
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,399
Speaker 2: and hang out with my friends and it's really just

415
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 2: the three of us. Yeah, As gets along better with

416
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,359
Speaker 2: some of my other friends that she has stuff in

417
00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:37,800
Speaker 2: common with. Kate just isn't one of them. And there

418
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:38,600
Speaker 2: is an update.

419
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Speaker 3: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, let's see it.

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00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 2: Let's dive right into that. Yeah, my fiance and I

421
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,080
Speaker 2: ended up making up and reconciling a few days later.

422
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Speaker 3: Oh, oh Joy, Joy, lovely communication. Wow, just wonders.

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Speaker 2: We were talking about compromises and it was still a

424
00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 2: touchy subject, but I thought it was going well and

425
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 2: we'd recover. I wish I could leave it at that.

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Speaker 5: No, no, Joy, no.

427
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,760
Speaker 3: Joy's been taking what you just said that you reconciled.

428
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:15,000
Speaker 3: You lied to me. Lied, she's now my ex fiance.

429
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,600
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, you lied to me. Oh my god, liar.

430
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,120
Speaker 3: Communication didn't save anything.

431
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 2: A little over two weeks after our fight, a friend

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00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 2: of Yeas contacted me. She told me Esmen had been

433
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 2: venting to her friends over the Kate situation, and she

434
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,199
Speaker 2: couldn't keep quiet any longer because it wasn't fair to me.

435
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 2: This friend sent me messages between Yesmine and them, where

436
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 2: Yesmen is essentially talking about not trusting me and Kate

437
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 2: and saying some pretty derogatory things about her. Oh, if

438
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,200
Speaker 2: that was it, I'd be angry, but not furious. Long

439
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:51,399
Speaker 2: story short, the conversation turns into some confusing conversation. I

440
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,280
Speaker 2: didn't have much context for okay, but I got the gist.

441
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,520
Speaker 2: The friend that sent me the messages filled me in

442
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:02,439
Speaker 2: with what she knew basically had an affair before we

443
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 2: got engaged.

444
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 3: What did I freaking say? And all her friends suck?

445
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, the fact that they're only telling you now after

446
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,160
Speaker 2: I got engaged, but like, haven't told you until you're

447
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 2: maybe calling off the wedding?

448
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,680
Speaker 3: Messed up? Yeah, mess o, my god, it's been too long.

449
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 3: And the fact that they're just like crapping on Kate

450
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,719
Speaker 3: when she literally didn't do anything.

451
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, saying oh she's gonna cheat with ohp she's gonna

452
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:28,200
Speaker 2: cheat with Ope?

453
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 3: When she had an affair, Yeah, like hypocrite.

454
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 2: Literally literally it had allegedly been just one time with

455
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 2: some guy she doesn't talk to anymore. But I don't

456
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 2: know what to believe. Based on the messages, it seems

457
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,879
Speaker 2: like that was the case. Apparently all of her friends

458
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,440
Speaker 2: knew about this, and I was being played the whole time.

459
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:47,680
Speaker 2: Her friends are messed up.

460
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,120
Speaker 3: Dude, that sucks.

461
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 2: I talked to Yaz and she denied it, but I

462
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 2: told her I didn't care and she needed to leave.

463
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,439
Speaker 2: She was throwing a fit and refused to, so I

464
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,919
Speaker 2: left my own home again because of her. Told her

465
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 2: I'd tell everyone she did if she didn't pack up

466
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 2: her crap and go.

467
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 3: By the time I.

468
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 2: Returned, it worked. Two days later, I came back and

469
00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:10,680
Speaker 2: she was gone. She tried contacting me to set things right,

470
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 2: but I'm not interested. She can keep the ring for

471
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,920
Speaker 2: all I care. At this point, I just don't want

472
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 2: to see her yet.

473
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:17,920
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

474
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,479
Speaker 2: By the way, I always want to see you guys,

475
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 2: because you can listen to full episodes stories just like this.

476
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 2: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search

477
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 2: a Pokey story time. But there is a little bit

478
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 2: left the story. Get those thoughts out there. I just I.

479
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 3: You have called it because there's no reason. If you

480
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:43,639
Speaker 3: are like attracted to one gender, okayyeh, then you have

481
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:47,920
Speaker 3: friends of the gender that you're attracted to. Not a problem,

482
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 3: literally not a problem because you don't have to be

483
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 3: attracted to those friends. Yeah.

484
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like like think for yourself, am I

485
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 2: attracted to every person in the world. Yeah, you know, like,

486
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 2: am I attracted? If you're attracted, men might tracted to

487
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:01,919
Speaker 2: every man in the world.

488
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh no. I felt so sad.

489
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 2: And worthless and embarrassed. I didn't tell anyone the reason

490
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 2: we broke it off. No idea what Yaz is telling people,

491
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,400
Speaker 2: and I don't care. The past month and a half

492
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,639
Speaker 2: has been a nightmare, but I'm slowly recovering my pride

493
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 2: and I'm trying to convince myself what she did was

494
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:22,080
Speaker 2: her own fault, not mine. It works about half the time.

495
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 2: And because I know some of you are going to

496
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 2: ask me because you think this is some crappy, effing

497
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 2: rom com, I didn't go running to Kate. I've hardly

498
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 2: spoken to her or anyone else for a while now.

499
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 2: I've been adjoining quarantine and being left alone.

500
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 3: My gosh. Yeah, that's right.

501
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 2: This isn't twenty twenty. Oh that's so. That's my final

502
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,600
Speaker 2: update on the situation. Those of you who said Yaz

503
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,640
Speaker 2: was being paranoid because she had something to hide, go

504
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 2: pat yourselves.

505
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 3: On the back. Comment one.

506
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 2: That sucks, And frankly, you should be talking to Kate

507
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 2: because you should be talking to your friends and getting

508
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 2: their support. And clearly she's a really good friend, if

509
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 2: not your best friend to her. Also based on just

510
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 2: this situation, One, you're a good guy who stood by

511
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 2: your good friend and your morals. Two you're a good

512
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 2: guy who try to find a compromise with your fiance.

513
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,159
Speaker 2: Three you're a good guy who trusted your fiance and

514
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 2: loved her as you should have. For you got involved

515
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 2: with someone who turned out to be and worthless and

516
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:23,119
Speaker 2: should be embarrassed for screwing you over. Yep, don't let

517
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,479
Speaker 2: this experience ruin your faith in yourself. That is the

518
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 2: end of that story.

519
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 3: I told my girlfriend to grow up. She didn't take

520
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 3: it lightly.

521
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,119
Speaker 2: Well, maybe she wants to stay young forever.

522
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,680
Speaker 3: I twenty nine male, and my girlfriend twenty two female,

523
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 3: have been a couple for four years now. We moved

524
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 3: in together soon after we met. Since money was and

525
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,959
Speaker 3: still is a tense subject for her father left behind

526
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 3: a bunch of debts. I don't know what was going

527
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 3: on there since she doesn't talk about it. By the way,

528
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 3: this comes from Ladder Feeling forty nine to fifty three

529
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

530
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,439
Speaker 3: to the ours Lash Okay, storytime super so. My family

531
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,719
Speaker 3: believed for a long time that she is a gold digger,

532
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 3: and my brother, thirty three mail hated her guts for

533
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 3: it until recently my grand passed away and girlfriend helped

534
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,919
Speaker 3: my dad with funeral stuff. None of them think like

535
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 3: that anymore, but I began questioning a lot. She hops

536
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 3: from job to job, always blaming her social anxiety PTSD

537
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,360
Speaker 3: or bosses for it. I pay for most of our

538
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 3: things and she rarely helps with the bills. I say

539
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 3: it doesn't bother me, but I wish that she'd do

540
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 3: more than pay for groceries, or at least keep a

541
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 3: job long enough to pay off her debt so we

542
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,159
Speaker 3: can find a bigger place, pay off my car, and

543
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 3: so on. My brother is, since grand's death, really close

544
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 3: with her and made me realize that she is a

545
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 3: lot like his exes. His type is airheaded, bubbly bimbos

546
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 3: needing a father figure. Uh oh Ma has thoughts she

547
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 3: is financially dependent on someone me, refuses to make decisions

548
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 3: for us, like dinner dresses like a pastel rainbow and

549
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 3: a bat had a love child, watches Disney and still

550
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 3: owns stuffed animals, even names them, but oh, he says,

551
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 3: she is literally an adult child. I think it's the

552
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,199
Speaker 3: reason she still depends on my money. She needed to

553
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 3: grow up, and that's what I told her, Being emotional

554
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:12,880
Speaker 3: as usual, she started crying and apologize, promising to find

555
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 3: a job and keep it for longer than six months.

556
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 3: I told her that that's a good start, but she

557
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,880
Speaker 3: should also stop her obsession with Disney and get rid

558
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 3: of her stuffed animals. She isn't a child anymore and

559
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 3: should stop acting like one. She began to hyperventilate and

560
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 3: had a panic attack. I called my brother to help,

561
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 3: since he coached our late sister through her anxiety attacks.

562
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 3: All the time, due to trauma from my sister's attacks,

563
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 3: I feel sick when something like this happens and try

564
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 3: not to be in the room. He came over immediately

565
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 3: and counted things with my girlfriend, things she saw, smelled her,

566
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 3: et cetera. Then he carried her into our room. Girlfriend

567
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 3: still sat on the floor. When he came back, he

568
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 3: yelled at me, getting unreasonably angry, saying to leave her

569
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 3: a little bit of innocence since she struggled a lot

570
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 3: in her past. Csa emotional and that she already did

571
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 3: everything that she could to live up to my high expectations.

572
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 3: We fought since it is none of my brother's business

573
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 3: and we haven't talked since.

574
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:07,680
Speaker 2: Wow, so your brother came to you, saw you kind

575
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 2: of freaking braiding. Your partner said, hey, let's have some empathy.

576
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 3: Yeah.

577
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: This young woman, yeah, who had a pretty tough life

578
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 2: and is trying to figure out.

579
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 3: What she's gonna do with her life. She didn't just

580
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 3: start hyperventilating and having a panic attack out of nowhere. Yeah,

581
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:28,360
Speaker 3: come on, there was a reason for it, an instigator. Yeah.

582
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 3: Girlfriend is currently going through a couple of job interviews

583
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 3: and most of her stuffed animals are gone. Disney is

584
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 3: only playing on her phone when we go to bed

585
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 3: and she wants to watch something before sleeping. I like

586
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 3: to think I held my girlfriend a lot by being

587
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 3: honest with her, but I hate that my brother is

588
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 3: convinced that I am wrong for doing so new things

589
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 3: from today, since I had planned on posting it yesterday,

590
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 3: but now this happened. I found out that the vanishing

591
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,840
Speaker 3: stuffed animals were taken by my brother, so girlfriend wouldn't

592
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 3: have to throw them away. She told me that she

593
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,199
Speaker 3: had donated them. I feel jealous and betrayed because they

594
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,719
Speaker 3: seem to talk behind my back and be closer than

595
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 3: I'd like them to oh boohoo. But most importantly, I

596
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 3: feel like I forced my girlfriend to have to hide

597
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 3: these silly little parts of herself from me. Please give

598
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 3: me some advice on how to fix this mess. I'm

599
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 3: afraid I messed up big time. Yeah, you freakings. I

600
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 3: don't want to give you advice. You don't deserve my advice.

601
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,199
Speaker 3: You must have. There is a bit of an edit.

602
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 3: Give me the edit, and then I'll give you the thought. Okay,

603
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 3: sounds great, and I will give you advice it. I

604
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,919
Speaker 3: don't shame my girlfriend for having any normal hobbies, but

605
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 3: come on, although young, she should be a little more mature.

606
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 3: She can vote, drive and drink. She can be an

607
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 3: adult that doesn't call a pink shark Samantha and have

608
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 3: it live on our bed. You monster, You are a monster.

609
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 3: Let Samantha live.

610
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Samantha live. Okay, real quick one. It's

611
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 2: very normal for girls and anybody really to have stuffed

612
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,400
Speaker 2: animals into adulthood. A lot of people have very emotional

613
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 2: bonds to stimals.

614
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 3: Very normal to watch Disney movies. So I don't know

615
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 3: why you're shaming her about those things. Yea, like three,

616
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 3: she had a really.

617
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 2: Tough childhood, and when you have those things happen to

618
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 2: you when you're a child. Sometimes staying or like keeping

619
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:26,399
Speaker 2: things that allow you to be kind of a kid

620
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,439
Speaker 2: a little bit longer are very comforting, you know, like

621
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 2: things like stuffed animals that like that provides a little

622
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 2: bit of comfort into your daily life.

623
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 3: That's a very tough childhood. It's not even the kind

624
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 3: of thing that needs to just be there until you're

625
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 3: like healed or anything like that. Absolutely not. Yeah, it's

626
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 3: just kind of like, well, you know, maybe I didn't

627
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 3: get to enjoy this to your childhood was taken away

628
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 3: from her. Yeah, there is a little bit of side

629
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 3: information as well with this edits. She is in therapy

630
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 3: one to two times a week and on medication. Those

631
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 3: are part of the reason that she can't participate more

632
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 3: in paying the bills. Also only started liking all that pink,

633
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 3: bubbly Disney stuff two years ago. Before that, she refused

634
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,719
Speaker 3: everything too childish and mostly wore black. Since her therapy

635
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 3: started two years ago, she started to change to this

636
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 3: funny though that I get called names, while everyone seems

637
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 3: okay with my thirty three year old brother being close

638
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 3: to her as well. But we do have a whole update,

639
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 3: So onto the update. Hey, So, I don't know why,

640
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 3: but I wanted to update you guys, at least the

641
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 3: ones who actually tried to be helpful about me twenty

642
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 3: nine male and my girlfriend twenty two female. I listened

643
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 3: to you about the stuffed animals and told girlfriend to

644
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 3: bring them back home. I still struggle to understand why

645
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 3: she needs her stuffed animals, but as you guys told me,

646
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 3: they comfort her, So bring those guys back home, right.

647
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 3: I also explained to her what my initial worry about

648
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 3: our money situation was and that I clearly became nitpicky

649
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,640
Speaker 3: and was the a hole. She declined, saying she likes

650
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 3: them to stay at my brother's thirty three male's house.

651
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 3: They also multiplied since my brother buys her those squish

652
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 3: mellow things whenever he sees them at Walmart, and I

653
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 3: found out that he offered her one of his spare

654
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 3: bedrooms for all her things. He even went out and

655
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 3: bought paint to paint the walls for her. Now what, okay,

656
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 3: that's not like a storage room kind of thing. That's

657
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 3: like a I'm moving in kind of thing, painting the walls.

658
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't know. He lets her use

659
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 3: that room as an office last bedroom, and in exchange,

660
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 3: she assists him with his business. Most of her job

661
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 3: is basically customer service and packaging and mailing packages. He's

662
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 3: even ready to pay her a small salary since he

663
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 3: claims that he needs help anyway and would rather give

664
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 3: his friend the job than anybody else. According to him,

665
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 3: since she struggles with her anxiety, this would be a

666
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 3: good way for her to get used to a little

667
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 3: stress work with customers and work routines. If I'm honest,

668
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 3: I don't know how to feel about it. Yes, I

669
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 3: wanted her to have a job and be more mature,

670
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 3: but this job with my brother just rubs me the

671
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 3: wrong way, always has. I was thinking a lot about

672
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 3: telling you guys, since I feel embarrassed to even talk

673
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 3: about it. But my brother builds special toys for the bedroom,

674
00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 3: oh like extra weird ones. He makes stuff from wood, silicon,

675
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 3: and some accessories. This is just a weird situation all

676
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:08,479
Speaker 3: the way around. I'm just gonna be I don't like

677
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 3: fully trust the I don't at all. I'm just very

678
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 3: worried for this young woman. Me too, I'm very worried.

679
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 3: Our family is surprisingly cool with it, since it's impressive, woodwork,

680
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 3: even bed frames. Oh okay, totally fine for him to

681
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 3: do that.

682
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 2: We're just worried about, like everything else we're learning in contrition,

683
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 2: exactly exact his close relationship with it.

684
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 3: Yes, I think that it's a very good clarification if

685
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 3: you want to do this stuff. Yeah, right ahead. I'm

686
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 3: sure they're beautiful. Yeah, I'm sure it is impressive. Would work,

687
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 3: but yeah, knowing what we know, yes, I'm uncomfortable. Yeah,

688
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 3: and he earns very well with the fetishes of people. Great, Okay,

689
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 3: I never feel comfortable about all of that. I'm not judging,

690
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 3: but it is very out there to have your brother

691
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 3: own a business like that. Girlfriend should not be exposed

692
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 3: to all of that. I also don't like the way

693
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 3: he said that I tried a better myself, So I

694
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 3: told her that and how it makes me feel. But

695
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 3: she just laughed in my face and told me that

696
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 3: she doesn't mind being exposed to those kinks. I lost

697
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 3: my cool again, asking how could she be so nonchalant

698
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 3: about supporting people hurting others for pleasure, and she accused

699
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 3: me of king shame you are now I appeared to

700
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 3: be the bad guy again and also found out that

701
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 3: my girlfriend is into stuff like that, so clearly I

702
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 3: do not want her near my brother anymore. This is

703
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 3: like asking them to cheat on me since they seem

704
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 3: to have the same sick fantasies. Oh my god, he's

705
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 3: preying on her and I know it. She looks too

706
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 3: much like the girls he did before, and her daddy

707
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 3: issues and the money he waves in front of her

708
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 3: face will obviously let her walk right into his trap

709
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 3: should he decide to steal her from me. Since girlfriend

710
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 3: and my brother don't see what I mean or are

711
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 3: really good at hiding it, I asked my father to intervene,

712
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 3: but he literally told me that he doesn't mind and

713
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 3: that I am being irrational. He even said that I

714
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 3: always was this jealous when it comes to my older

715
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 3: brother and that I should be the one to finally

716
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 3: grow up. So there is no help to expect from

717
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:07,239
Speaker 3: my family, apparently simply because my brother always was and

718
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 3: will be the golden child and I get treated like trash. Tonight,

719
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 3: my girlfriend announced that she wants to go to college

720
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 3: since she was never in a position to do so.

721
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 3: Congratulations for her. Good on her perfect Another expense, I

722
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 3: told her that I couldn't afford it, and she said

723
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 3: that she would pay for it herself. Now, how would

724
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 3: she do that, she says, with the money that she

725
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,960
Speaker 3: earns for working for my brother. How much does he

726
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 3: effing pay her? Why are you mad about this?

727
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 4: You know women shouldn't be paid as much as mid

728
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 4: right A too mad riulous?

729
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 3: Literally, just like you're explaining how it works to order

730
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 3: at Chipotle and he's like, now, what what do you

731
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 3: mean I pay between these two different rices? Like that

732
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 3: doesn't make any sense. He's just mad about everything that's

733
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 3: brought his way. Yeah, I asked her to help pay

734
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 3: the bills instead and finally contribute to our living expenses.

735
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 3: I want to marry her and have a family, and

736
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 3: I can't wait forever until she's done with school and

737
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 3: paid off her debts. As I mentioned before, I want

738
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 3: a bigger house and that she helps me pay off

739
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 3: my car. I told her that, and girlfriend got uncommonly angry,

740
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 3: another behavior probably caused by spending too much time with

741
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,479
Speaker 3: my brother, and yelled an me, saying that she does

742
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 3: help me pay the bills. She said that since it's

743
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 3: my car and I'm the only one using it, it's

744
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 3: my responsibility, especially because she told me not to buy

745
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 3: a gea wagon I couldn't afford. We also wouldn't need

746
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 3: a bigger house since we have a guest bedroom and

747
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 3: enough room for the two of us. Before explanation, she

748
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 3: moved into my house when we became a couple. I

749
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 3: told her that I'd paid the mortgage since I'm the

750
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 3: owner of the house and she is responsible for groceries,

751
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 3: cleaning products, et cetera. By the way, you know what

752
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 3: you're responsible for. You have to listen to us on iHeartRadio,

753
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or whatever your favorite podcast app is.

754
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 3: To search Okay storytime, You're gonna find full episodes with

755
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 3: more stories just like this one. It's your responsibility. You

756
00:34:58,400 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 3: better get on it.

757
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 2: There is a little bit to the story, but OPI

758
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 2: has not learned a single thing in the story. Opia

759
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 2: has had no semblance of self reflection. Yep, I gave

760
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,719
Speaker 2: you advice, you didn't take it.

761
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 3: Rude of you.

762
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 2: Rude people in the comments of the Reddit post gave

763
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 2: you advice, doesn't seem like you took it, and now

764
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 2: you're jealous of your brother, who I'm wary of. But

765
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 2: at least he's paying your girlfriend so she can go

766
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 2: to college, which you're against, and giving her a place.

767
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 3: She says stay. But there is a little bit more

768
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 3: to the story. I tried to argue that I want

769
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,240
Speaker 3: children and have since forever been dreaming of a space

770
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,360
Speaker 3: just for myself, and that only works with a bigger house.

771
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 3: That was when she decided to go for the juggular,

772
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 3: telling me that she didn't want any children anytime soon

773
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,880
Speaker 3: and wanted to go to college first before even thinking

774
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 3: of having some shock wow wow shock. Also, I could

775
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 3: just turn our basement or the guest bedroom into my

776
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,919
Speaker 3: man cave. Then she left and by now hasn't returned home.

777
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 3: She texted me that she was sleeping at her office,

778
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 3: but I am one thousand percent sure it's my brother's

779
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 3: bed she's sleeping in. No matter how hard I'm trying.

780
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,800
Speaker 3: She seems to not care about our relationship or future.

781
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story.

782
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:18,879
Speaker 4: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

783
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 1: Here.

784
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

785
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 3: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

786
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 2: I canceled a trip with my cousin because her sister

787
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 2: wants to tag along.

788
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 3: You gotta pick one of the other two one cousin go.

789
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 2: Every year, my cousin Millie thirty one female, and I

790
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 2: twenty nine female, take a big trip abroad. This year,

791
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,239
Speaker 2: we were heading to Italy for three weeks and I

792
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 2: had planned everything. Suddenly our other cousin, Carrie twenty nine female,

793
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,280
Speaker 2: wanted to tag along, claiming it's.

794
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,399
Speaker 3: Her dream trip. Here's the issue, Carrie and I don't talk.

795
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Mysterious Froyo forty two

796
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

797
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,760
Speaker 2: to our slash Okay storytimes subreddit. We used to be close,

798
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 2: but in twenty twenty two, she didn't invite me or

799
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,760
Speaker 2: my in entire family to her wedding, including my dad,

800
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 2: her direct uncle. To this day, we have no idea why.

801
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 2: Carrie refused to explain, and my aunt kept giving different excuses.

802
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,280
Speaker 2: Some examples, you didn't call her on her birthday, okay,

803
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 2: somewhat balance. You live out of state and we didn't

804
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 2: want to burden you. We visit them one to two

805
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 2: times a year. You didn't invite us to your wedding

806
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,399
Speaker 2: we did carry literally copied my sister's wedding invite. Carrie

807
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 2: wanted a small wedding. I guess one hundred and twenty

808
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 2: guests is small in some societies. Fed Up with my

809
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,840
Speaker 2: cousin but especially my aunt, my dad went no contact

810
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 2: and the rest of us followed, except for Millie. Millie

811
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 2: is a gem of a human being. She's tried to

812
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 2: keep the family together, calling out Carrie and my aunt

813
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 2: on their excuses, but respecting that we want minimal contact

814
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:47,399
Speaker 2: for now. Even she hasn't gotten a straight answer about

815
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 2: the wedding invite. Meanwhile, Milly and I have grown closer

816
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,760
Speaker 2: and our shared love of travel has become a tradition.

817
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,760
Speaker 2: Our Italy trip was already booked when Millie started mentioning

818
00:37:55,800 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 2: places Carrie recommended, odd, considering Carrie has never been to Italy. Eventually,

819
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 2: Millie asked if I'd be opened to Carrie joining us.

820
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,399
Speaker 2: My gut reaction was no, but I decided to think

821
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 2: it over. A few hours later, Carrie texted me we

822
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 2: had never blocked each other, but just never reached out.

823
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 2: Do you apologize for the wedding drama? And said she

824
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 2: wanted to be past it. I was caught off guard

825
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 2: and a bit suspicious, but I figured maybe this was

826
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 2: a chance to mend things. We chatted for a few

827
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,359
Speaker 2: days and she shared how her in laws mistreated her

828
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:28,359
Speaker 2: and supposedly controlled the wedding guest list. At first I sympathized.

829
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,280
Speaker 2: I even started feeling guilty about not wanting her to come.

830
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 2: Then we talked about Italy. She had a list of

831
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 2: luxurious recommendations, think specific restaurants, private tours, high end hotels,

832
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,760
Speaker 2: and that's when she slipped up. She casually mentioned quitting

833
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 2: her job on a whim, being between jobs, and how

834
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:50,840
Speaker 2: her husband was tightening their finances. Then came the punter.

835
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 2: She asked if she could pay me back for the

836
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,320
Speaker 2: trip later. Here's the thing, I don't really lend money

837
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 2: to people. For some reason, I don't never get it back.

838
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 2: Let me know if this is the shared experience or

839
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 2: if I just got walked over far too many times.

840
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 2: I laughed at it and said no. I could tell

841
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 2: she was a bit shocked. Come on, I know you

842
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 2: have the money. That's not the point.

843
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 3: I told her.

844
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 2: If you can't afford the trip up front, you don't

845
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 2: get to go. You pay for Milly I laughed again,

846
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 2: I don't and you're not.

847
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:17,320
Speaker 3: Milly.

848
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,799
Speaker 2: Then she said, which got me superheated. It could be

849
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 2: the wedding gift you never gave me. I wished I

850
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 2: could have slapped her through the phone. I couldn't find

851
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 2: the words, and at the risk of saying something horrible,

852
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 2: I just flung up.

853
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 3: Yes.

854
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 2: I make good money, especially compared to my cousins. Millie

855
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,280
Speaker 2: pays her own way, but I cover a little extra

856
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 2: about an eighty twenty split so she can enjoy some

857
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 2: luxuries with me. I do this because I genuinely love

858
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 2: traveling with her and enjoy her company. I also don't

859
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 2: want finances to be the reason why we wouldn't be

860
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 2: able to experience something. She always finds little ways to

861
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 2: pay me back, usually by covering meals and snacks, even

862
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,280
Speaker 2: though I tell her she doesn't have to. I also

863
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 2: do this because Millie is incredibly hard working. Harry, on

864
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 2: the other hand, has a habit of quitting jobs, taking

865
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 2: a year off and then and quitting the next one.

866
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 2: It's the biggest reason she's never traveled internationally. I asked

867
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 2: Milly if she told Carrie about our arrangement, and she

868
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 2: admitted she had mentioned it after our last trip, but

869
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 2: didn't think Carrie would remember, let alone ask for a

870
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 2: similar deal. She was surprised Carrie even reached out, but

871
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:19,439
Speaker 2: still wanted her to come. I told Milly that if

872
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 2: Carrie goes.

873
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 3: I won't.

874
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:23,399
Speaker 2: Carrie can pay me back for the hotel, and I'll

875
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 2: find another trip to take with my airline credit. Milly

876
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 2: asked me to wait, but I never heard back. Then

877
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 2: last night my dad called. My aunt reached out, calling

878
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 2: me a horrible person for not helping her daughter just

879
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 2: this one time, and saying it was just a stupid wedding.

880
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,400
Speaker 3: Dust a wedding, and just a wedding.

881
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 2: My dad normally ignores her, but this time he wanted

882
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 2: to check it. After I told him the full story,

883
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 2: he and my mom took my side. He told me

884
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 2: to ignore my aunt and cause I did. However, other

885
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 2: family members from my dad's side started berating me. Apparently

886
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 2: I should let bygones be bygones and take Carrie so

887
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 2: we could all have a fun trip together. At that point,

888
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 2: I texted Milly again and told her I was officially

889
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 2: canceling my portion up the trip. You need to find

890
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,760
Speaker 2: someone else to go with. If she doesn't, I'll cancel

891
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,760
Speaker 2: the hotel and cover any cancelation fees, but I can't

892
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:13,240
Speaker 2: help much with her airfare. She may only get airline credit.

893
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 2: Millie was pissed but said she understood and would try

894
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 2: to find another travel buddy, but asked if she couldn't,

895
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 2: if I would still go anyway without Carrie. I told

896
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 2: her I think about it now. I feel bad for

897
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 2: putting her in this position. But am I really the

898
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 2: a hole here?

899
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 3: I mean, no, you had original plans with someone and

900
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 3: she's the one changing it. Yeah, yeah, I mean like

901
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 3: I don't know. I get like, you know, I feel

902
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 3: like it would be a little easier, or I would

903
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 3: think it would be easier to say yes to the

904
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 3: trip if Carrie just wasn't gonna go in the end.

905
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 3: But I can also understand like this whole thing being

906
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,400
Speaker 3: just like a headache and be like, you know what,

907
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:49,240
Speaker 3: I don't even want to go anymore.

908
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 2: Well, it seems like, OHP is open going on the

909
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 2: trip if Carry doesn't go, it's just right now, it

910
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 2: seems like Millie's still on the Carry's coming. Yeah, thanks

911
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,320
Speaker 2: so much for all the advice. When I'm meant the

912
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:03,240
Speaker 2: eighty twenty split. I meant that Milli covers eighty percent

913
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 2: of her expenses, while I pitch in for about twenty percent,

914
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 2: mainly for some price yere experience. Millie is fully paying

915
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 2: for her hotels, airfare, ground transportation, souvenirs, et cetera. I'm

916
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 2: just covering some tours and extras to make the trip

917
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,800
Speaker 2: more special for us. There's been a lot of discussion

918
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 2: about Carrie and her husband. Her husband and engineer, is

919
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 2: in a solid financial position, but that's largely due to

920
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 2: his smart money habits. According to Millie, he's frustrated at

921
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 2: Carrie quit her job, especially since it took her two

922
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 2: years to land it in the first place. For everyone asking,

923
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 2: I'm a senior manager of technology at a decently large

924
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 2: marketing technology company. Milli works as an event planner for

925
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:43,320
Speaker 2: a nonprofit. She earns a decent salary, but does struggle financially.

926
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 2: Since I do make more, I don't mind covering a

927
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 2: few extras here and there. He sells art and dog

928
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,359
Speaker 2: sits to make extra money for these vacations, so I

929
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 2: like to help where I can't And comments Fumma, one

930
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 2: dear aunt and Kelly and every relative who chimed in

931
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 2: My refusal to pay for Kelly's side of the trip

932
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 2: wasn't about her usual to invite my family to her wedding.

933
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 2: It was because she assumed I would pay for her

934
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 2: without even asking. I wasn't caring about her wedding, but

935
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 2: the fact she assumed I would pay her. If you

936
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 2: and all the other relatives are so upset that she

937
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,839
Speaker 2: can't do the strip, then please send her your contribution

938
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,760
Speaker 2: to only her and not her husband solo visit Italy.

939
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 2: I am sure her husband will welcome you all paying

940
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 2: for just her to visit a romantic place. Sola, sincerely,

941
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 2: someone who thinks it's weird for a married woman to

942
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 2: ask to go to a romantic country without their husband

943
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 2: as a punishment for him tightening their purse strings because

944
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 2: they can't afford her lifestyle. Many of you had questions

945
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 2: about Carrie and her husband's relationship, so here's a bit

946
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,760
Speaker 2: of context. Harter is twenty nine and husband with Carrie

947
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 2: for over a decade. They met back in their freshman

948
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 2: year of college. I haven't spent much time with him,

949
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 2: but the few times I have, he's come across as

950
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,880
Speaker 2: a pretty decent guy. But he is quite strict with

951
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 2: his finance well. Yesterday he called me for the very

952
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 2: first time ever. Turns out, Carrie asked him to reach

953
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 2: out and try to convince me to take her along

954
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 2: on our trip. He admitted that he found her request suspicious,

955
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 2: but went along with it mainly to get my number

956
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,320
Speaker 2: from her and hear things straight from me, and wow,

957
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 2: the story she told them was wildly different. Quick bit

958
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 2: of background. My parents are independently well off. They've made

959
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:15,399
Speaker 2: smart choices, worked incredibly hard, and truly built something from

960
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 2: the ground up. That said, it's something my dad's side

961
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 2: of the family has occasionally tried to take advantage of.

962
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,280
Speaker 2: My dad is a bit of a softyana people pleaser.

963
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 2: My mom, on the other hand, is much more direct

964
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 2: and no nonsense. When my dad's family has asked for

965
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 2: financial help before, my mom has always been firm about boundaries.

966
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 2: She's made it clear that if they were to help financially,

967
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 2: it would come with conditions. The reason behind this my grandmother,

968
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 2: my dad's mother, was a shopaholic and a hoarder. She

969
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: had a habit of spending every dime she had on

970
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:48,439
Speaker 2: random things from Amazon, while neglecting her actual bills. When

971
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 2: the bills piled up. She would ask one of her

972
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 2: kids for money to cover them, only to turn around

973
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:56,320
Speaker 2: and spend that money on even more crap before asking

974
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,280
Speaker 2: a different kid for the same money. My parents refuse

975
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,439
Speaker 2: to help her because of this and took away all

976
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 2: financial funding. Yes, this put a lot of strain on

977
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 2: their relationship. My aunt, let's call her Barb, isn't too

978
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 2: different from my grandmother. They both had bad spending habits

979
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 2: in major issues with social anxiety. According to Carter, she

980
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 2: actually spent Carrie's entire wedding fund on a brand new car. Obviously,

981
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 2: my uncle let's call him Jeff. Carrie and Carter were

982
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 2: furious when they found out, but Barb just brushed it

983
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 2: off and said she'd asked my dad to help cover

984
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 2: the cough. Carter said, Barb told them my dad refused

985
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 2: to help, which is what led him to turn to

986
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 2: his family for financial support. That's also why more of

987
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 2: Carter's relatives ended up attending the wedding than Carrie's. As

988
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,759
Speaker 2: for the whole not inviting his part, Carry decided to

989
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 2: leave us out because of my dad's refusal. Apparently she

990
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 2: assumed he knew exactly what he'd done wrong, though she

991
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 2: never bothered to explain or talk to him about it.

992
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:50,759
Speaker 2: She just cut time.

993
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, Barb, who at.

994
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 2: The time was extremely close to my dad, kept feeding

995
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 2: him little eyes, probably hoping to keep the truth from

996
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 2: ever coming out. But my dad decided to cut ties first,

997
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 2: and they aren't as close anymore. Honestly, I wasn't all

998
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:05,759
Speaker 2: that shocked once I heard the reason. Carter went on

999
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 2: to explain that Carrie has been spending a lot of

1000
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 2: money lately, even though she recently quit her job. It

1001
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 2: had taken her two years to land that job in

1002
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:15,360
Speaker 2: the first place because she was being very picky, hoping

1003
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,239
Speaker 2: for the perfect job, but after just a year, she

1004
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 2: ended up hating her boss and quit. Now Carter's getting

1005
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 2: pretty fed up. He told me he was actually relieved

1006
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 2: that I turned down her request to join us on

1007
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:28,360
Speaker 2: the trip. He wants her to focus full time on

1008
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 2: finding a job, and said he's planning to start scaling

1009
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 2: back some of the small luxuries he's currently providing until

1010
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 2: she starts putting in efforts. He did say that I

1011
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 2: should still go with Milly, as he has never seen

1012
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 2: Milly sow down and anxious. At the same time, he says,

1013
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 2: I know Millie well and that she's just trying to

1014
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 2: keep the family together, and said that perhaps a better

1015
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 2: punishment is to force Milly into paying one hundred percent

1016
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 2: of the costs, including the tours and activities I tend

1017
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 2: to provide. I told him I think about it and

1018
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 2: hung up the phone. That was probably the longest conversation

1019
00:46:57,239 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 2: I have ever had with Carter, and honestly I like

1020
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,520
Speaker 2: him even more now. I called up my dad and

1021
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:04,320
Speaker 2: told him everything. He confirmed that my aunt never asked

1022
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 2: him for any money regarding the wedding, but did admit

1023
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 2: he probably would have refused to give her anything as well,

1024
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 2: so either way we probably wouldn't have been invited. I'm

1025
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 2: still debating whether I even want to go on this

1026
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,400
Speaker 2: trip anymore. Part of me feels like maybe it was

1027
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 2: not big of a deal, and I can understand where

1028
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:22,319
Speaker 2: Millie was coming from. But at the same time, I

1029
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 2: really don't want to be surrounded by all this drama.

1030
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:27,320
Speaker 2: It's exhausting, and honestly, it's taken away from some of

1031
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 2: the excitement I initially had. I've recently thought about taking

1032
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:32,720
Speaker 2: a solo trip somewhere. I have a lot of friends

1033
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 2: in Thailand and Singapore, so I may visit them instead.

1034
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 2: Thanks to everyone here in the subreddit, I honestly wouldn't

1035
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 2: have gotten the clarity I needed without your inputs and ps,

1036
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 2: I did block about half of my relatives from my

1037
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 2: dad's side, so I won't be hearing from them again.

1038
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 3: There I would block Barb she's like a nightmare. Yeah,

1039
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 3: but there are some comments. I just want a headache

1040
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:55,320
Speaker 3: of a family. I like the first second, I forgot

1041
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 3: that this story was about a trip. Yeah, it was

1042
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:01,360
Speaker 3: brought up all the stuff. Yeah wo all this money

1043
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 3: stuff like it really threw me off. So messy, messy

1044
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:07,920
Speaker 3: backstory of family messy.

1045
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,840
Speaker 2: Common one says Millie may deserve a second chance, but

1046
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 2: I wouldn't go on the trip. Millie needs to understand

1047
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,879
Speaker 2: you have boundaries when it comes to Carrie, and your

1048
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 2: travel plans should be between the two of you from

1049
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 2: now on. I get she wants to be peacemaker, but

1050
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 2: it's just gonna drag you into drama if she thinks

1051
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 2: she can keep trying to mediate relationships. Common two, of course,

1052
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:29,280
Speaker 2: Milly is down. The person who pays for the majority

1053
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:31,919
Speaker 2: of the vacation isn't doing it anymore. She's upset about

1054
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 2: how this is affecting her, not you, you know's dang well,

1055
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,280
Speaker 2: you weren't talking to carry, and yet she gave details

1056
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 2: by the vacation to her and told her you pay

1057
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,440
Speaker 2: for the majority. I think a solo vacation to your

1058
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,480
Speaker 2: friends is an awesome idea. If you do decide to

1059
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 2: go on another trip with Milly, she needs to pay

1060
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 2: for herself one hundred percent. It sounds like she's a

1061
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,319
Speaker 2: user like her mother and sister and grandmother. But there

1062
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 2: is a second update. First things first, No, I'm not

1063
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 2: cutting Milli off. I genuinely believe what happened was an

1064
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 2: honest mistake. She's a total people, please are honestly, we

1065
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 2: both are kind of. It's something we're going to work on.

1066
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 2: That said, I did let her know she'll be covering

1067
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 2: her full share for all of our future.

1068
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 3: Trips, and she readily agreed.

1069
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:12,479
Speaker 2: Milli and I are aiming for a trip together next

1070
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 2: year when things have cooled off. By then, she should

1071
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:17,839
Speaker 2: have plenty saved up. Luckily, we canceled everything early enough

1072
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 2: to get some refund and credit.

1073
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,280
Speaker 3: We travel enough that I'm pretty sure.

1074
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 2: We'll use it onto the actual tea I had blocked

1075
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:24,479
Speaker 2: Carrie's so she.

1076
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 3: Couldn't call me directly, but.

1077
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 2: Her mom, Barb, decided to call my dad. Happened to

1078
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:31,160
Speaker 2: be at dinner with my entire family at the time.

1079
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:33,920
Speaker 2: Barb asked if she paid for Carrie's trip, if I

1080
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:35,840
Speaker 2: would let her come. By that point, Milli and I

1081
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,799
Speaker 2: had already decided to cancel everything, and I told her

1082
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 2: we decided to go our separate ways. Then Barb asked

1083
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 2: if I'd go if she paid for all of us.

1084
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 2: Gotta say that was tempting, but my mom shut that

1085
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 2: down immediately.

1086
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 3: She didn't want us to be indebted to her.

1087
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 2: Before I move on, you have to know my mom

1088
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 2: is definitely the overprotective type. Normally she doesn't get involved

1089
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 2: in my dad's drama, but once it started affecting one

1090
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:02,399
Speaker 2: of her kids directly, she can't resist. And let's just say,

1091
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 2: my mom is away with words. Apologies for the language ahead,

1092
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,960
Speaker 2: but I just couldn't resist giving you all this delicious line.

1093
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 2: She called Barb a lousy, neurotic witch and said her

1094
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 2: brain cells needed to come back from vacation before she

1095
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,840
Speaker 2: starts planning anyone else's. Then she added that the bottom

1096
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 2: of her foot is prime real estate for scup like her.

1097
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 3: You want to keep going.

1098
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 2: There is mar and if either her or Carrie brings

1099
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 2: this up again, they're getting a personal tour of it.

1100
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 2: Healed first, my mom's a real estate agent. By the way,

1101
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:36,879
Speaker 2: That shut Barb up real quick, and she hung up. Now,

1102
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:40,280
Speaker 2: I know I shouldn't condone violence, but honestly, my sister

1103
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:43,360
Speaker 2: brother and I stop laughing. She later told me she

1104
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 2: got that line from one of her colleagues. Never thought

1105
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 2: she'd use it, but glad that she did. Now here's

1106
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 2: the part I know all of you nice people will enjoy.

1107
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 2: Carter called me up yesterday to tell me about Carrie's

1108
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 2: belt down on this whole mess. He said her spending

1109
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 2: was literally unliving him and that he's taking some space

1110
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 2: from her now. But he's not planning at divorce dot

1111
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 2: dot dot yet, but he gave her a six month

1112
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 2: deadline to get a job, and they'll be doing both

1113
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 2: couples and individual therapy to work things out. Turns out

1114
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 2: he's been working overtime just to cover Carrie's expenses and

1115
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:15,760
Speaker 2: he's done. You should never be done with us, because

1116
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 2: you can listen to full episodes stories just like this.

1117
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 2: Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search the

1118
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,360
Speaker 2: focus straight time. But there is a little bit left

1119
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,320
Speaker 2: to the story. Then she's been home, her spending's gone

1120
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:29,759
Speaker 2: through the roof, and he doesn't want their life ending

1121
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 2: the way my grandma's did. This additional trip was just

1122
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:34,720
Speaker 2: the nail in the coffin. As for me, I literally

1123
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 2: booked my fights to Singapore right before writing this. I'm

1124
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 2: about to have a wonderful time with my friends there.

1125
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 2: Thanks again to everyone here, keep on keeping on, And

1126
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 2: that is the end of that story.

1127
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 3: Wow. Wow, Wow, that really really took us on a

1128
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 3: roller coaster. Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back

1129
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 3: to the stories.

1130
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 1: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1131
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:55,439
Speaker 1: that keep the show going.

1132
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:59,720
Speaker 3: My father and his wife disrespected me in my own home,

1133
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 3: so I just let them leave. Not in your own home.

1134
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 3: I twenty nine female, decided to live alone ten years ago.

1135
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,279
Speaker 3: My parents divorced when I was twelve, and after a

1136
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 3: traumatizing childhood and teenage years, including spicy related as not

1137
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 3: in my household, emotional and vital, I felt ready to

1138
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,279
Speaker 3: live alone when I was nineteen. By the way, this

1139
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 3: comes from Juanita Malando but if you wanted some in

1140
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 3: your own stories, just go to the our Slashokay storage.

1141
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 3: I'm Subreddit. I met a guy in college when I

1142
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:26,840
Speaker 3: was eighteen, and he decided to take the step with me.

1143
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 3: We rented an apartment together. Needless to say, that didn't

1144
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:33,319
Speaker 3: work out as he was also verbally and economically me.

1145
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 3: We separated two years after we rented the apartment. When

1146
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 3: I broke up with him, I became very depressed. After

1147
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 3: going to psychiatry and being hospitalized in a psychiatric ward.

1148
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 3: I was diagnosed with my polar disorder, which helped me

1149
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 3: understand my exaggerated reactions whenever I had to face conflict.

1150
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:50,400
Speaker 3: After telling the whole story, I think that this introduction

1151
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 3: will help you understand what I'm thinking. The whole trauma

1152
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 3: might be posted in a different post. Fast forward to

1153
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 3: two and a half years ago, I started to be

1154
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 3: very successful in my job. I graduated from college after

1155
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 3: facing many issues due to my mental health, and got

1156
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 3: a management position in the customer service industry, which is

1157
00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 3: very hard in the country I live in. I met

1158
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 3: a guy in October twenty twenty two who will call

1159
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 3: Nick thirty five mail at the time, and I fell

1160
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 3: in love with him. We were in a match, but

1161
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 3: we built a strong friendship. What I didn't know was

1162
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 3: that he would be helping me to build a backbone,

1163
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 3: something I didn't have even when I decided to live

1164
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 3: by myself. Since I met Nick, I discovered how my

1165
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,879
Speaker 3: oldest and dearest friends were stabbing me behind my back,

1166
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,760
Speaker 3: how a friendship should work, and how people were stepping

1167
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:33,280
Speaker 3: on my back to get money, favors, or a place

1168
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 3: to crash. Put on Nick for showing you the true

1169
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 3: meeting of friendship. I realized how traumatized I am for

1170
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 3: my issues when I was younger, and how my parents

1171
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,240
Speaker 3: gasled me my whole life to make me feel guilty

1172
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 3: about their mistakes. At the beginning of this year, I

1173
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 3: decided that enough was enough. I changed my apartment about

1174
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 3: three weeks ago, changed my phone number, and got rid

1175
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 3: of all the people who hurt me throughout my life,

1176
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:56,239
Speaker 3: including my ex, the guy who lived with me, who

1177
00:53:56,239 --> 00:54:00,160
Speaker 3: stole seventeen thousand dollars from me during my relationship, and

1178
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:04,040
Speaker 3: the friendship that came after the break up. Nick was

1179
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 3: always there to support me. FYI, seventeen thousand dollars is

1180
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:09,839
Speaker 3: a lot of money in my country. It's a lot

1181
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:10,800
Speaker 3: of money in my country.

1182
00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 2: I think it's a lot of money in most countries,

1183
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 2: unless maybe you're gone by like pesos enough to buy

1184
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:17,040
Speaker 2: a whole apartment.

1185
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:20,440
Speaker 3: Last week, my father, sixty mail and his wife fifty

1186
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:22,200
Speaker 3: nine female told me that they would be coming to

1187
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:24,360
Speaker 3: my place from a different city as they needed to

1188
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 3: run errand since they moved a few years ago to

1189
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,719
Speaker 3: live in the countryside. As I recently moved from a

1190
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 3: one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom apartment and I

1191
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 3: don't have enough furniture, I asked them to bring an

1192
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 3: inflatable mattress with them so that we could all sleep comfortably.

1193
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 3: I wanted them to sleep in the second bedroom so

1194
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:39,960
Speaker 3: my kid wouldn't bother them in the middle of the night.

1195
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 3: They weren't willing to bring the mattress, and as soon

1196
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 3: as they arrived, they criticized my house, how my furniture

1197
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 3: was placed, how I didn't have enough cutlery or seats,

1198
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 3: how I placed the fridge everything. I got mad, and

1199
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,239
Speaker 3: for the first time of my life, I told them

1200
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 3: that it was my place and that they couldn't criticize

1201
00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 3: how I live. I said that they were welcome here,

1202
00:54:57,719 --> 00:54:59,439
Speaker 3: but I didn't want them to move my things around

1203
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:02,280
Speaker 3: as they wanted because it was my plate. My father

1204
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,960
Speaker 3: started to yell very loudly at me, telling me that

1205
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:08,560
Speaker 3: I wasn't making him feel welcome in my place, and

1206
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 3: I yelled back at him that he shouldn't disrespect my house,

1207
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:16,279
Speaker 3: let alone me at my own place. He yelled even louder,

1208
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 3: saying that he was my father and that he could

1209
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,480
Speaker 3: do whatever he wanted in my house because he was

1210
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,840
Speaker 3: my father. I said no, and he yelled that he

1211
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 3: would leave. Due to my mental issues, I have very

1212
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,720
Speaker 3: strong panic attacks, and I had one at that very moment.

1213
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:31,799
Speaker 3: I ran to my room and started breathing while he

1214
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 3: was still screaming from the living room. Oh. I told

1215
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 3: him that when I go to his place, I don't

1216
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 3: move or criticize his house. After a huge argument, they

1217
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 3: left to eat lunch. When they came back, I had

1218
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 3: already controlled my panic attack, and after a couple of hours,

1219
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:45,879
Speaker 3: I felt the urge to hug my father, which I did.

1220
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 3: Of course, they stayed on my sofa bed throughout the

1221
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 3: whole week. They kept criticizing everything and buying coulory and

1222
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaker 3: the things they considered I needed. I told them that

1223
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 3: I understood that they wanted to see me living in

1224
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,319
Speaker 3: a great place, but my priorities were not to buy

1225
00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 3: kitchen stuff I didn't need when I live alone. I

1226
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 3: wanted to buy a new computer, as I work from

1227
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:04,799
Speaker 3: home and my computer is breaking. I also wanted to

1228
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 3: clean the whole house, which was very dirty when I

1229
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,400
Speaker 3: received it, take care of the garden, puts a safety

1230
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 3: net so my cat doesn't escape when he grows, neuter him.

1231
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:14,239
Speaker 3: He's a kitten, but big enough now to go through

1232
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:17,399
Speaker 3: the procedure and purchase a new bed, as my bed

1233
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,280
Speaker 3: is old and my mattress is also getting damaged. All

1234
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:24,280
Speaker 3: of that comes before thinking about decoration for a big apartment.

1235
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 3: A friend of mine came three days ago and they

1236
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:29,480
Speaker 3: continues to criticize my house in front of her. I

1237
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 3: told them to stop, and they still went on. After

1238
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:34,480
Speaker 3: my friend left, I was feeling tired and went to

1239
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 3: bed and said goodbye and tried to sleep without being

1240
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 3: able to. I was listening to a podcast with my

1241
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 3: headphones on. After I felt ready to sleep, I removed

1242
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,959
Speaker 3: my headphones, turned around, and then I heard her they

1243
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 3: were having spicy sleep on my sofa. I'm usually open

1244
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 3: minded but I didn't expect my father to have spicy

1245
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 3: sleep with his wife in my house with me in it.

1246
00:56:55,719 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 3: Don't get me wrong, I don't care if they have

1247
00:56:58,080 --> 00:56:58,759
Speaker 3: spicy sleep.

1248
00:56:58,920 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 5: I do.

1249
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,560
Speaker 2: They shouldn't be having it. It's their life as a couple,

1250
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:04,240
Speaker 2: but not in my house.

1251
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:06,800
Speaker 3: Why in my house? When I told them to respect

1252
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,960
Speaker 3: my place a million times, I didn't think to expressly

1253
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:13,080
Speaker 3: tell them not to have spicy sleep in someone else's

1254
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:16,000
Speaker 3: house because I thought that they would respect someone else's touse.

1255
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:18,600
Speaker 2: That's an insane thing to do, it really is.

1256
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 3: It was disgusting hearing them and what they said. When

1257
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 3: they finished, I learned that the bed sheets I borrowed

1258
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:28,479
Speaker 3: them got dirty, my sofa got dirty, and the thought

1259
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:31,480
Speaker 3: of me cleaning that was cold to me. The next day,

1260
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 3: my father left early and I told his wife that

1261
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 3: I heard them. She was shocked, and minutes later she

1262
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 3: told me that it was normal. I know it is,

1263
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 3: and that they thought I was asleep. She thought I

1264
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:43,320
Speaker 3: was cool with that because I had told her how

1265
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:45,640
Speaker 3: my friends who are attracted to the same gender once

1266
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:48,440
Speaker 3: went to my previous apartment and while they were wasted,

1267
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,520
Speaker 3: I noticed that they were feeling a little spicy. I

1268
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 3: told her that I was clear with them that my

1269
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:55,680
Speaker 3: house wasn't for people to come and have spicy sleep.

1270
00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:57,800
Speaker 3: But I didn't think to have that conversation with my

1271
00:57:57,960 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 3: father than his wife.

1272
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:01,840
Speaker 2: So funny that it seems like he was telling her

1273
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:04,720
Speaker 2: a story about how her friends crossed her boundaries.

1274
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1275
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:06,960
Speaker 2: She was like, yeah, my friends once like came over

1276
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:08,640
Speaker 2: and we're like, we're all frisky and stuff. And I

1277
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:11,520
Speaker 2: was like, hey, stop it, and then her I guess

1278
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 2: step boom or something. I guess, so like stepmom was like, oh, yes,

1279
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 2: So I took that to mean that we could also

1280
00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 2: do that.

1281
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,720
Speaker 3: I decided to stop talking to them until they leave

1282
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 3: and go back to their town. Nick has been very

1283
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:25,160
Speaker 3: supportive and he's the only one I rely on right now.

1284
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 3: I didn't want to have a confrontation, but I'm usually

1285
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:31,200
Speaker 3: very open and talkative. So today they confronted me. My

1286
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 3: father started speaking, telling them that they didn't disrespect me

1287
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:36,960
Speaker 3: in any way, neither by telling me what they thought

1288
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 3: about my house, nor by having spicy sleep on my couch.

1289
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 3: That I was being disrespectful for the attitude I had

1290
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 3: with them the last couple of days that I wasn't

1291
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:48,439
Speaker 3: making him feel welcome. He said that numerous times since

1292
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 3: this morning. At night, when he said that for the

1293
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:54,280
Speaker 3: twentieth time, I exploded. I told him that I felt

1294
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 3: disrespected and uncomfortable with what happened since they arrived. He

1295
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 3: didn't let me speak, and then his wife came into

1296
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:03,480
Speaker 3: the room and started arguing with me, saying that she

1297
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 3: was a grown woman and that she was feeling like

1298
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:08,439
Speaker 3: the adult was mad at a fifteen year old were

1299
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:11,439
Speaker 3: sneaking with her boyfriend. I told her that it wasn't

1300
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:14,720
Speaker 3: the case that I like that they have their active relationship.

1301
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 3: Don't say like it, like it, sah, but that they

1302
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:22,880
Speaker 3: disrespected me. They said that having spicy sleep wasn't disrespectful,

1303
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 3: that I came from the same action, and that it

1304
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:28,320
Speaker 3: was me who was exaggerating, and that feeling disrespected was

1305
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 3: out of line. So your feelings are out of line.

1306
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 3: Make that? Make that make sense? I don't understand. They

1307
00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:36,440
Speaker 3: said that I was open minded because I accept attracted

1308
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 3: to the same gender people, but not enough to accept

1309
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 3: love between them when they love each other.

1310
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:44,600
Speaker 2: They're like, you like gay people, so why can't we

1311
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:46,560
Speaker 2: have spicy sleep in your house?

1312
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 3: Yeah? Like those are the same thing, right. I mean,

1313
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 3: imagine if that just goes further, it's like, Okay, I'll

1314
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 3: have spicy sleep right in front of you. Yeah, it's

1315
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:56,320
Speaker 3: because you would know that we love each other and

1316
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:56,960
Speaker 3: you accept that.

1317
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 2: They're like, no, they're like queerness equal exhibitionism.

1318
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, but that's not what I meant. That's not

1319
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:07,880
Speaker 3: the case. I told them that I support them having

1320
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:10,040
Speaker 3: a relationship and that I want them to live and

1321
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:14,680
Speaker 3: pass away together, but please stop crossing my boundaries. That's

1322
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 3: all it is, is boundaries. Come on. They said that

1323
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 3: this wasn't a fair boundary and that it was me

1324
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:22,960
Speaker 3: at being a brat. Dude, you need to go to

1325
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:26,840
Speaker 3: their house and have really loud, spicy sleep. Compliance. Honestly,

1326
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 3: you don't even need to do it. You just make

1327
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 3: the noises. Yeah, you just take the easy a it.

1328
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:32,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1329
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly exactly. After another huge argument, they said

1330
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 3: that they would leave tomorrow and sleep at another family's house.

1331
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:43,360
Speaker 3: But you know what else's ideal is you going to

1332
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:47,600
Speaker 3: your favorite podcast app I Heart Radio, Spotify Apple Podcasts

1333
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:50,520
Speaker 3: and search up Okay Storytime to find more episodes with

1334
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,439
Speaker 3: full stories just like this one. There is a little

1335
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 3: bit more. My father said that he would stop supporting

1336
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 3: me and not to count on him if I'm still

1337
01:00:57,560 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 3: thinking that they are in the wrong. I told him

1338
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:02,160
Speaker 3: that I needed everything to calm down so that we

1339
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 3: could speak. He said no, and his wife cried that

1340
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:07,920
Speaker 3: I'm being unfair. I'm not punting them out of the house.

1341
01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:10,480
Speaker 3: I was clear with them, but if they decide to leave,

1342
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:13,080
Speaker 3: I'm not stopping them and letting them go. My father

1343
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:15,880
Speaker 3: said that I'm ruining our relationship. I said I'm not,

1344
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 3: but he's doing it. So am I wrong? Am I

1345
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 3: the A hole? No?

1346
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 2: Oh, your parents are gaslighting you into thinking that you

1347
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:27,040
Speaker 2: know everything is your fault. Yeah, and every time you

1348
01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:30,480
Speaker 2: put up a boundary, it's actually you like hitting them

1349
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:30,840
Speaker 2: with an.

1350
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:34,800
Speaker 3: Axe, exactly. That's not true. Exactly. This is like classic

1351
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 3: like signs of abuse that we know that she's had

1352
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:39,440
Speaker 3: a history with that these people. Yeah, if you can

1353
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 3: support yourself without them, which it seems like you can. Yeah, right. Like,

1354
01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 3: I don't know what exactly he was referring to, but

1355
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:49,320
Speaker 3: I mean maybe there's little things that we didn't hear about.

1356
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 3: But yeah, No, definitely not the a hole at all,

1357
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 3: No at all.

1358
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:56,240
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that. Story and the end

1359
01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:59,440
Speaker 2: of this episode. So if you love us, make sure

1360
01:01:59,440 --> 01:01:59,960
Speaker 2: to subscribe.

1361
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:02,760
Speaker 3: We love you and see you tomorrow.