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Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, Sophia Bush here. Welcome to Work in Progress,

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Speaker 1: where I talked to people who inspire me about how

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Speaker 1: they got to where they are and where they think

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Speaker 1: they're still going today. On the podcast, I'm chatting with

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Speaker 1: one of the kindest and most joyful humans that I

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Speaker 1: happen to know, the talented, brilliant, and incredibly compassionate Constant Simmer.

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Speaker 1: Constance is an actress, director, wife, a mother, and an

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Speaker 1: all around creative individual. She's known for playing a number

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Speaker 1: of standout characters and notable projects, including the role of

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Speaker 1: Dana Gordon on HBOS critically acclaimed series Entourage, Janine on

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Speaker 1: the Netflix Emmy nominated series House of Cards, Taylor on

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Speaker 1: HBOS The Newsroom, and Quinn on Lifetime's drama series Unreal, which,

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Speaker 1: aside from being one of My personal favorites, earned her

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Speaker 1: a Critics Choice Award and a Primetime Emmy nomination. Constance

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Speaker 1: has also been a standout on shows like Boston Legal,

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Speaker 1: Grey's Anatomy, The New Adventures of Old Christine Seinfeld, Allen

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Speaker 1: Marvel's Agents of Shield, and the list goes on. In

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Speaker 1: addition to her successful acting career, Constance is a keen

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Speaker 1: supporter of the Make a Wish Foundation, the NRDC, and

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Speaker 1: have Her International, just to name a few. She's particularly

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Speaker 1: involved in AIDS activism, including AIDS Project Los Angeles and

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Speaker 1: the Elizabeth Glazer Pediatric AIDS Foundation. Outside of acting and directing,

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Speaker 1: Constance also happens to be a creative maven and makes

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Speaker 1: handmade jewelry, candles, and greeting cards. In our conversation today,

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Speaker 1: we reminisced about how we met, discussed the intricacies of

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Speaker 1: being in the public eye, and chat about Constance's childhood,

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Speaker 1: her journey of becoming an actress, body image, fear, having

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Speaker 1: a plan, be in life, and so much more. Enjoy

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited that you're here. We just launched into

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Speaker 1: such a good conversation the minute you walked in the

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Speaker 1: door that I was like, oh my god, stop, we

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Speaker 1: have to stop talking and we have to start recording.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that kind of like what podcasts are now? It's like,

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Speaker 1: if only I had a microphone in front of our

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Speaker 1: faces right now, this would be the best conversation to

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Speaker 1: share with people. It's pretty cool to be able to

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Speaker 1: open thoughts and relationships and conversations in this way. I

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Speaker 1: really love it. Yeah, and especially because you have incited

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Speaker 1: that already in your daily life. So I would imagine

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Speaker 1: that when people when you're like, hey, will you come on,

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Speaker 1: it's like, well, yeah, we already do that. We already

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Speaker 1: talk and we're already so open and honest and communicate

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Speaker 1: so all. And so that's I mean, that's always how

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Speaker 1: I felt about you. It's like fun. The first day

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Speaker 1: I met you, it was just I felt like we

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Speaker 1: just got right down into like talking about some nice,

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Speaker 1: deep seated soul stuff. Yeah, I just love it. I'm

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Speaker 1: so bad at small talk. I'm the worst at a

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Speaker 1: party when people are like, so, I'm like, this is

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Speaker 1: so strange. What do I do? Yeah, because it feels

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Speaker 1: very surface. Yeah, I just don't. Yeah, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how to do it. Yeah, I don't know how to

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Speaker 1: do that, which is funny because you do it actually

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Speaker 1: very well. But you do it well. If you give

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Speaker 1: somebody like an hour, you don't want to give someone

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Speaker 1: just five minutes and try and no, like the whole

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Speaker 1: make an impression on that person. That's my nightmare. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing that like makes me shrivel up in like

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Speaker 1: my little snail shell more. I'm like, no, God, I

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Speaker 1: don't understand this. That's what I love is is the

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Speaker 1: misperceptions that people put on everyone, and especially I think

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Speaker 1: the is that are in the public eye. Is that

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Speaker 1: there's always this like you should be used to making

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Speaker 1: small talk. That's all you do. It's all you do

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Speaker 1: is go to parties and meet people, and within two

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Speaker 1: minutes you have to impress them. And you have to

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Speaker 1: either impress them with the way you look, the way

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Speaker 1: you talk, the job that you're doing or the jobs

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Speaker 1: that you've done, or the it's never just about like

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Speaker 1: a soul to soul conversation because nobody has time, you know,

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Speaker 1: and so it's like instead it's all about like how

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Speaker 1: they've seen you on social media or the roles you've played,

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Speaker 1: and then they just think that that's what you are

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Speaker 1: and you should be that at all times. It's a

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Speaker 1: lot of pressure, it is. It's so weird. I and

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Speaker 1: I think it's interesting too that there's this, And tell

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Speaker 1: me if you find this. There's this sort of expectation

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Speaker 1: that we're meant to be infallible, like you can never

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Speaker 1: make a mistake, you can never say the wrong thing,

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Speaker 1: don't ever screw up. But then also there's this other energy,

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Speaker 1: you like, who the do you think you are? You're

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Speaker 1: not perfect, you don't know anything, You're not smarter than me.

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Speaker 1: And it's so weird because you're like, Okay, what do

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Speaker 1: you want me to be? Am? I like what is it?

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Speaker 1: And it struck me recently and it's funny. I'm just realizing.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I carried that with me for the

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Speaker 1: last two weeks, didn't I? I was. I was obviously

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Speaker 1: tweeting about politics chalker and somebody said something, and so

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Speaker 1: I was looking through these replies because I like to

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Speaker 1: sort of see am I being clear? Am I making

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Speaker 1: my point? Is this resonating? Are there people I want

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Speaker 1: to have a conversation with about this or just kind

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Speaker 1: of let it live? And you know, it's such a

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Speaker 1: weird thing when you can be tagged in a conversation

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Speaker 1: that other people are having. It's like I don't always

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Speaker 1: want that. I don't want to know. I don't want it.

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Speaker 1: And this girl was talking about the podcast and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's so nice, and I went to

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Speaker 1: reply to her, and when I did that, it opened

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Speaker 1: the whole thread of her conversation and and some other

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Speaker 1: person was like, yeah, I used to be a fan

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Speaker 1: of hers, but like, I got into a debate with

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Speaker 1: her on Twitter years ago and she's a fucking hypocrite

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Speaker 1: and like, I'm out, and I remembered this person. I

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Speaker 1: remember that I was just like trying to explain how

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Speaker 1: I felt about something and she was one of those

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Speaker 1: people who couldn't be pleased and was like, well, you

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Speaker 1: once said this, and you once said that, and if

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Speaker 1: you believe these things, then you're a hypocrite if you

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Speaker 1: also believe this, And I'm like, no, I'm just a

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Speaker 1: person who is an opinion and I believe those things

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Speaker 1: to be true, and I also have an issue with this,

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Speaker 1: and if you're trying to make them the same thing,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know how to please you. Well

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Speaker 1: you can't. I mean that's the thing to write. You

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Speaker 1: can't please everybody, You truly can't. But it's such a

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Speaker 1: weird thing because then people will do the thing where

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Speaker 1: they say like, well, you can't take that personally. You're

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Speaker 1: supposed to have a thick skin. You live in the

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Speaker 1: public eye, and it's like, no, I'm just a person.

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Speaker 1: And it sucks to have people make assumptions and and

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Speaker 1: say weird shipped to me and and assume they're allowed

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Speaker 1: or entitled to say weird shipped to me because they

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Speaker 1: project the reality of my life in their mind rather

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Speaker 1: than the reality of what my life actually is. Right, well,

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Speaker 1: it's so weird. That's that whole way you're talking about,

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Speaker 1: and it is the whole misperception of who we all are.

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Speaker 1: Like just how you don't even know who that person is,

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Speaker 1: but they have affected you in a way that they

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Speaker 1: don't even know that they affect you, because a lot

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Speaker 1: of times those people don't think you read the comments

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Speaker 1: or you read the replies, and they're just spouting and

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Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, when it's actually the person

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Speaker 1: they're spouting about, it becomes like, oh, well wait, hold

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Speaker 1: on a second, I didn't know that you were going

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Speaker 1: to be affected by me. And it's like, this is

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Speaker 1: my point. We're human beings, and yes we are in

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Speaker 1: the public eye, so yes we are using our platform

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Speaker 1: trying to do it for good the way that we

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Speaker 1: perceive what we would like to put out there. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: everybody thinks that we can't be hurt, but do you

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Speaker 1: think you They think you can withstand a lot of punches.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, but I'm not a punching bag, right,

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Speaker 1: And then they're like, well, if you don't want to

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Speaker 1: be if you don't want to be judged for what

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Speaker 1: you're putting out there, then don't put anything out there, right.

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Speaker 1: That's the That's the other thing I get, Like my

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Speaker 1: first when I first joined Twitter, and I only joined

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Speaker 1: it like maybe six years ago because we had to

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Speaker 1: join Twitter for House of Cards because nobody knew what

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Speaker 1: Netflix was, and so Netflix was like, you, it's up

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Speaker 1: to you guys as the actors on the show to

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Speaker 1: talk about this streaming concept when we didn't even understand

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Speaker 1: what it was. How crazy is that that you can

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Speaker 1: say today nobody knew what Netflix was. Yeah, and I

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Speaker 1: think it is like seven years ago, right, I mean

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Speaker 1: I feel like that feels right because that's when House

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Speaker 1: of Cards started. But yeah, and we didn't know what.

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Speaker 1: We didn't even know. I couldn't. Everybody was like, what

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Speaker 1: do you mean You're not going to get a DVD

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Speaker 1: to watch it? And I said no, and they're like,

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Speaker 1: can you watch it on a plane? I said, I

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Speaker 1: don't think so. I mean, it's streaming. You have to

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Speaker 1: have a connection. I mean I didn't. We didn't understand

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Speaker 1: any of it. So if you can imagine, then I

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Speaker 1: go on Twitter and I didn't even I was so

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Speaker 1: not I'm still not very good at it because of

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Speaker 1: all of things we're talking about, is I cannot figure

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Speaker 1: out the common ground, right, because you can't please everybody

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Speaker 1: but the first right, But the first fight I got

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Speaker 1: into with somebody on Twitter was about this exact thing,

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Speaker 1: which is there was somebody that was following uh, somebody

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Speaker 1: had started a Janine Scoresky Twitter account. Okay, so it

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Speaker 1: was like I was actually like a White House correspondent,

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Speaker 1: which I thought was really cool, had started an account

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Speaker 1: in my character's name and was kind of talking like

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Speaker 1: the character, but you know, knew all had all the

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Speaker 1: real political background to be able to express, you know,

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Speaker 1: what she thought my character would be saying. And there

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Speaker 1: was this guy, Yeah, it's so we it's a tricky ster.

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Speaker 1: He's so uncomfortable, right, So there was this guy who

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Speaker 1: was following her, following Janine, the fake Janine. And then

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Speaker 1: I was talking back and forth with the person playing

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Speaker 1: the fake Janine, and I said to the guy, he

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Speaker 1: made a comment to me about this is not your

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Speaker 1: this is not your place, and I said, you know,

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Speaker 1: this is so interesting to me because you would rather

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Speaker 1: follow and and be influenced by somebody who is pretending

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Speaker 1: to be this character, rather than talk to the person

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Speaker 1: who actually plays the character and who sits with the

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Speaker 1: writers and who understands the concept of the show and

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Speaker 1: who's doing all of the research and why. And he said, see,

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Speaker 1: this is a problem with all your actors. You're so narcissistic.

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Speaker 1: You think it's all about you. What if I just

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Speaker 1: want to follow the character and not the actor that

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Speaker 1: plays the character? And I said, okay, but I I

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Speaker 1: was so, I was like, but this person isn't the character.

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Speaker 1: If it was the writer of the show running Twitter

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Speaker 1: accounts for all your characters, that would make sense to me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but it's not. It's just no, it's just a random human.

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Speaker 1: I know. That was the thing that I and I

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Speaker 1: was so but I was honestly confused by it. And

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Speaker 1: I was really just trying to explain your logic to me.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out where you're coming from, right,

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Speaker 1: And and somebody reads that as like explain yourself, and

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Speaker 1: you're like, but that's not what I said. And I

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Speaker 1: was honestly just trying to have a conversation. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: even upset about it. I was curious. And then everybody

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Speaker 1: got involved, and the poor girl who started the account,

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Speaker 1: she was like, I'm so sorry, I'll take it down.

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize it was going to be so controversial.

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Speaker 1: And I said, it's not controversial. I'm just asking a question,

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Speaker 1: you know. And that was what was so crazy about it.

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Speaker 1: Is again, you can't even just be curious. You get

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Speaker 1: attacked for being curious, and and tech is so dangerous

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Speaker 1: in that way. I love podcasting because we can have

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Speaker 1: a conversation. People can hear that we're exploring something, trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out how we feel about something. But people

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Speaker 1: read your words in text as they are, never as

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Speaker 1: you mean them, and so the same sentence can read

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Speaker 1: to one person as an attack and to another person

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Speaker 1: as a question. And god, I've gotten so sick of that.

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Speaker 1: It's like, it's just it's really hard to be on

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Speaker 1: the receiving end of it all the time, which is

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Speaker 1: why we like doing this. When you can actually talk,

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Speaker 1: it's like a balsartle thing. And look at this, Like

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Speaker 1: two minutes in, we're like, let's talk about how it

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Speaker 1: feels to communicate with people you don't know. Um Hi,

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Speaker 1: I usually start with the question about the past, but

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Speaker 1: we just I like getting a little tangentle with you.

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Speaker 1: But I do wanna, I do want to run listeners

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Speaker 1: through some of what I'm sure they're very curious about.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember when we met, I mean the first

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Speaker 1: time ago because it probably was I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: remember exactly. We met like at something, and then we

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Speaker 1: have friends in common and we all got together actually

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Speaker 1: at my place and we sat on the floor in

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Speaker 1: a deep conversation and I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I love her because you had no furniture in there yet. Yeah. No,

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Speaker 1: it was like I had just gotten into space and

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Speaker 1: I think there was a couch. Wait. I do remember

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Speaker 1: now though, Was it at the White House? Correspondence to

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Speaker 1: that was not the first time we met though in Washington.

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Speaker 1: That was like the first time we all kind of

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Speaker 1: chilled and hung out and went, oh my god, we're

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Speaker 1: also alike. And it was with a Zita and Jed

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Speaker 1: and Diah, Carla and Jed. I mean it was yeah, Katie, Katie,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, who wound up in our text threat

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Speaker 1: and was like, how did I end up in this

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Speaker 1: text message? Change? It was so great. She was like, guys,

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Speaker 1: you're all so nice, but why am I here? Yeah, like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, Katie, were so sorry. Um, and the

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Speaker 1: full circle of that that you know, now she's been

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Speaker 1: on the podcast and we've become very friendly, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, do you remember that time we all put

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Speaker 1: you in a group text? And she was like, I

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Speaker 1: didn't know how to use I don't know what was

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Speaker 1: going on. I love. That was really like one of

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Speaker 1: the greatest nights and experiences in Washington I think that

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Speaker 1: I had had because we all had hope. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: but also there were so many there were so many

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Speaker 1: strong women in one room that all everybody wanted was

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Speaker 1: to help and support each other and check in with

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Speaker 1: each other and say, how are you doing, what are

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Speaker 1: you doing, what do you need to do, what would

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Speaker 1: you like to do? And it was in this fully

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Speaker 1: surreal world, you know, with the like Nancy Pelosi and

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Speaker 1: Katie Kuric and people wandering around you, and then they

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Speaker 1: would just come and sit with us, and it was

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Speaker 1: I mean, it was really magical. So yeah, that is

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Speaker 1: that's when we like first like because we had no

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Speaker 1: need men each other. Obviously in the circuit this crazy circuit,

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Speaker 1: but then hanging out in your house and then and

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Speaker 1: then ever since then, we've tried to get together, I know,

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Speaker 1: and we're always working in different places. That's one of

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Speaker 1: the things I think people don't realize either, because they

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Speaker 1: do think we all just hang out at parties all

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Speaker 1: the time, and I'm like, we go to not very

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Speaker 1: many of those because we're always in some farf one place. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: traveling always. Why was still because you were doing unreal

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Speaker 1: So you're so good on that. That's very nice of you.

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Speaker 1: It's not just very nice to me, Like when you

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Speaker 1: win a Peabody Award, it's like you're obviously doing something right.

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Speaker 1: That was crazy because one I didn't realize television shows

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Speaker 1: could win Peabodies who knew I didn't know. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: will never forget that call. When we all got the call.

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Speaker 1: We were in Vancouver and and I think it was

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Speaker 1: our producers kind of got us all in a room

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Speaker 1: and they were like, we got a Peabody award and

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Speaker 1: all of us said what why, Like I don't understand,

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Speaker 1: and uh, yeah, that was really that was really cool.

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Speaker 1: I think those like fun surprises on a show that

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Speaker 1: we really just didn't even know if people we're going

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Speaker 1: to watch it or care about it. To get that

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Speaker 1: those kinds of accolades for it was really kind of phenomenal.

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Speaker 1: It's so cool. Yeah, because it wasn't expected. Everybody was

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Speaker 1: like a Lifetime show. I'm sure that's crap. Oh my god, yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: I want to go back. I always think about how,

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Speaker 1: as we've been discussing other versions of this, people meet

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Speaker 1: us where we are, right And so people listening to

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Speaker 1: you today know you from the amazing shows that you've

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Speaker 1: done and the work that you do. And and I

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Speaker 1: always like to ask people, were you a version of

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Speaker 1: yourself when you were a kid, or were you like

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Speaker 1: a completely different child? You know what? What was your

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Speaker 1: life growing up? You know, it's interesting because I didn't

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Speaker 1: know that I wanted to be an actor. I didn't

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Speaker 1: figure it out until I was a senior in high school.

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Speaker 1: So literally same. Really, that's so crazy because it's not normal.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people like, who thinks they

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Speaker 1: could do this for a living? No, I know exactly well,

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Speaker 1: And by the way, I didn't even think I could

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Speaker 1: do it for a living. Wasn't even thinking about that.

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Speaker 1: Was just thinking like, oh, I know what I like

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Speaker 1: to do through doing like ten other things and not

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Speaker 1: liking those things, but picking one thing out of all

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Speaker 1: of those things that then all culminated into being an actor.

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Speaker 1: It was weird because my mom was a child star.

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Speaker 1: So this is crazy. So my mother was on radio.

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Speaker 1: She was a child star on the radio before there

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Speaker 1: was television's as a little girl in Germany. And when

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Speaker 1: the talkies came, when you got to watch television, Uh,

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Speaker 1: they took the radio program and they turned it into

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Speaker 1: it was like I leave It to Beaver, but it

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Speaker 1: was in Germany and it was black and white, and

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Speaker 1: well leave It to Beaver was black and white. But

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Speaker 1: and what happened was she was getting recognized on the

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Speaker 1: street as a little girl and her mom, my grandmother,

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Speaker 1: did not like it, was not okay with it, so

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Speaker 1: took her off the show and that ended her acting career.

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Speaker 1: And so I think be because of that, my mom

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Speaker 1: didn't necessarily want to push me in one direction or another.

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Speaker 1: She just said, I'm just gonna let you figure it

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Speaker 1: out and see what happens. And so I kind of

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Speaker 1: tried everything. I mean, I was I was a gymnast

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Speaker 1: training for the Olympics when I was how old was

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Speaker 1: I like fourth grade, fourth fifth grade, and I was

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Speaker 1: like advanced to uh, you know, eighteen hours of gymnastics

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Speaker 1: training a day. I would I would eat breakfast, go

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Speaker 1: to the gym, go to school, go back to the gym,

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Speaker 1: go have dinner, and then I think I was allowed

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Speaker 1: to go to sleep. But yeah, it was intense. I

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Speaker 1: had no life. And you know, now having a daughter

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Speaker 1: and seeing it's crazy to imagine that that's what I

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Speaker 1: was doing at that age. But I said to my

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Speaker 1: mom one day, I was like, I don't this is

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Speaker 1: too much. I missed my friend and so I want

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Speaker 1: to hang out with people, and so she said, okay,

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Speaker 1: you know, and then the next thing was, you know,

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Speaker 1: continuing gymnastics, and then I ran track and then I

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Speaker 1: did the high jump and then I mean I was

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Speaker 1: doing everything that I thought I was. It was all

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Speaker 1: in front of an audience. But I hated wearing shorts,

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Speaker 1: and I hated wearing leotards, and I hated all this

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Speaker 1: like skimpy outfits, and I hated working out. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, how can I be an athlete if I

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Speaker 1: hate all the things that you're supposed to do. And

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Speaker 1: then I was you know, I gotten to dance, and

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Speaker 1: I gotten to singing, and I did all that stuff,

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Speaker 1: and then I tried out to be a cheerleader because

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Speaker 1: all my friends I was a senior in high school,

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Speaker 1: and all my friends wanted to be cheerleaders, and so

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Speaker 1: I tried out to be a song girl, you know,

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Speaker 1: which are the ones that do the halftime shows. And

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Speaker 1: I my friend had to come to my house and

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Speaker 1: drag me out of the house because I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to try. I didn't want to wear shorts in front

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Speaker 1: of the school. I was so self conscious of my

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Speaker 1: body and my I just I thought I was fat.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's so sad when you look back on

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Speaker 1: it and you read my journals. But um, I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to wear dolphin shorts. And my friend came to

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Speaker 1: my house and dragged They dragged me out of the

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Speaker 1: house and they threw me up on the stage and

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Speaker 1: I remember just drying out and like holding back tears,

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Speaker 1: and the people from students from school being in the

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Speaker 1: auditorium and I was just like it was heartbreaking. And

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Speaker 1: then I got in and then I had to wear

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Speaker 1: these little short, little skirts, you know, to perform in

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Speaker 1: and it was so traumatic. But where do you think

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Speaker 1: that came from like where for you personally, because I

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Speaker 1: think every teenage girl struggles with her body in one

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Speaker 1: way or another. Do you know now as this sort

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Speaker 1: of you know, wise woman, do you know where the

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Speaker 1: root of that? You know? I wish I did. I

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Speaker 1: wish I knew, because I don't think even you know,

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Speaker 1: at at my age, i've I mean, I think now

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Speaker 1: I've at least just come to terms with like, this

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Speaker 1: is my physique. This is what it's always going to

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Speaker 1: look like, and it's not gonna be altered. So just

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Speaker 1: be really happy and grateful for what you have. And

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Speaker 1: I think at that young of age, when you're going

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Speaker 1: through so much the dope amins in your brain and

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Speaker 1: the hormones and the your body's changing. And I got

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Speaker 1: like big boobs and that was like I didn't even

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Speaker 1: know what to do with them because I was so

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Speaker 1: petite and I just felt, you know, all my friends

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Speaker 1: were so little and thin, and I had these like boobs,

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Speaker 1: and I had like a figure like I was a

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Speaker 1: much more womanly figure than like a little girl, and

401
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Speaker 1: it's it was all my own stuff. It's just was

402
00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: all just I think, insecure teenage stuff that I think

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Speaker 1: you have to kind of go through. I mean, it's

404
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Speaker 1: hard because I had an older sister who struggled with

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Speaker 1: the same stuff, and we were raised by our mom

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Speaker 1: for the most part, as our parents divorced when we

407
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Speaker 1: were very young. But so it wasn't that I didn't

408
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Speaker 1: have a lot of positive female role models. I just

409
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Speaker 1: think it was kind of normal. I was just insecure.

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Speaker 1: I think we're all insecure. It's sad, and it's a

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Speaker 1: lot of times. I don't know what gets rid of it,

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Speaker 1: or if it's just there all the time to keep

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Speaker 1: you humble. I don't know. You know, I still struggle

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Speaker 1: with it. I'm I'm so insecure. It's crazy that I

415
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Speaker 1: have made a living playing incredibly confident, unfiltered, brash characters

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Speaker 1: because it's not really who I am like at all.

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Speaker 1: It's like crazy. So, just to wrap it up, even

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Speaker 1: though it is a long explanation, um was they were

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Speaker 1: doing Reese the senior year of my high school and

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Speaker 1: I was already a cheerleader, so I said, oh, I

421
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,959
Speaker 1: want I want to go audition for a play. All

422
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 1: audition for the cheerleader for Patty Simcox because it was

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Speaker 1: doing cart wheels and you know, back can springs and

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Speaker 1: like all that kind of stuff on stage. So I

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00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I could do this and like singing,

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Speaker 1: and so I auditioned for pay sim Cox and I

427
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 1: got it. And then once I did that play, I

428
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 1: mean that was it. Yeah, and then I did Peter Pan.

429
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: After that, I didn't play Peter. I played Tiger Lily,

430
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 1: which is like the you know, the princess of the Indians, right,

431
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,879
Speaker 1: but yeah, and then that was it. And then I

432
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 1: and then I had all come together. It all made sense,

433
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 1: and then from there on out, I thought, oh I

434
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: got this. You know. Of course, the only schools that

435
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,199
Speaker 1: I applied to were n YU and Juilliard because I

436
00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: was like, I'm so good. I'm really good. I even

437
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: need an audition. You don't just want me because I'm here.

438
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the other really interesting thing. So insecure.

439
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 1: But then was okay with going to Juilliard and not

440
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 1: being prepared with a comedy monologue and a drama monologue.

441
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 1: So what did you do for your audition? I made

442
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:26,360
Speaker 1: it up as I went. I mean, I honestly think

443
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: back and I'm like, what was my was my mom?

444
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 1: Like my mom? I think I I think I prepared

445
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 1: a drama monologue, but not a comedy one. I think

446
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: that's what it was. I didn't have to And the

447
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 1: comedy one I ended up doing on the fly because

448
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 1: I was such so obsessed with Lily Tomlin's book Search

449
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: for Intelligent Signs of Life in the Universe, right, I

450
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 1: think that's what it's called UM. And she has this

451
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: amazing monologue about standing on the corner of walk and

452
00:25:56,359 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 1: don't walk. And I don't know why. I just I

453
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 1: knew it because I had read it so much. I

454
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 1: just kind of did it stumbled through. They're like, thank

455
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:11,640
Speaker 1: you very much, goodbye, you get in. No, it would

456
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 1: be great if I did, that would be a great story,

457
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:17,640
Speaker 1: But no I didn't. So then what did you Where

458
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: did you go? What did you do? I went to

459
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 1: the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in Pasadena. Dramatic. It

460
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: was very dramatic. Yeah, where it's like the Fame School.

461
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 1: I did love it because it was everything I wanted

462
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,439
Speaker 1: to do. You know. It was like they teach you

463
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: dance and Shakespeare and singing and scene study and you

464
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 1: know all that stuff. So no, I loved it. I

465
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 1: loved it. But yeah, it's just it is. I didn't

466
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 1: get asked back. You know, you have to get an

467
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 1: asked back at that school. And I remember I have

468
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: the letter, like the rejection letter after I went there

469
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 1: for a year and I didn't get asked back. It's

470
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 1: like in a folder and I wrote on it whatever,

471
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 1: and I told all my ends. I was like, I

472
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 1: know why. The people that don't get asked back are

473
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: the people that they know are going to make it

474
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 1: out there, so they don't want to hold them back

475
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 1: in a school for another year. I mean, what's that

476
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 1: going to do for you? They're like, you're ready go

477
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: out into the world and make it happen. So I

478
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 1: took a rejection and turned it around and kind of

479
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: used it as oh, they I'm ready, let's go, let's

480
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,919
Speaker 1: do this. Yeah, it's just it's that's very all That

481
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 1: stuff makes me laugh when I look back on it now.

482
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 1: But I think when you when you know something of yourself,

483
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: even despight insecurity, because we all are racked with that, right,

484
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:44,640
Speaker 1: I think you just are unwilling to give up. Yeah. Well,

485
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: I was told very early on, don't ever have a

486
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,640
Speaker 1: plan B, because you'll end up doing your plan B

487
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: if you have something to fall back on you will

488
00:27:55,560 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 1: fall back on it. So I told myself, like, this

489
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 1: is it, this is all I've got, and I have

490
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 1: to make it work. And you know that's scary, especially

491
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 1: in this business. It's I can't even I mean, I

492
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 1: every night I go to bed and I'm like, how,

493
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 1: I don't know how I got here. I don't know

494
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,919
Speaker 1: how I did this? How did I do this? Because

495
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 1: there was that thing in you that knew obviously, yeah,

496
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 1: But then like being riddled with so much insecurity, it's

497
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:34,239
Speaker 1: just fascinating in a business that really kind of feeds that.

498
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: Oh god, I mean, it's the worst, it's just the worst.

499
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: But I think I feel like every good artist that

500
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 1: I know is morbidly insecure. And I think that the

501
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: insecurity is this sort of like terribly metastasized sensitivity, because

502
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: at least for me, I'm so hyper sensitive to the

503
00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: world around me, to how people are feeling, what's going on,

504
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: how they're being treated, And that sensitivity to others is

505
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 1: what makes me good at my job, because I know

506
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: how to read a room. I know how to figure

507
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: out when we're doing a scene, what you're saying to

508
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 1: me under the words that you're saying. I I know

509
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 1: what I'm saying to you under the dialogue that I'm speaking.

510
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 1: It's about feelings. You know. People have asked me like,

511
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 1: oh god, when you had to do that scene and

512
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: like just lose it, Like what do you think about

513
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 1: to make yourself cry like that? And I'm like, no,

514
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 1: I have to get upset, like there's no trick. I

515
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 1: don't have like a hold my eyes open and then

516
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 1: tears start falling out of my face. I don't have that.

517
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: I had a coworker who had that, and I would

518
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: look at her and I was like, you lucky bitch.

519
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,959
Speaker 1: I can't believe you could just do that, you know,

520
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 1: But I so, I think, And maybe it's just how

521
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: I rationalize my own insecurity. It's how I like live

522
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: with that sort of demon on my back. But I

523
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 1: feel like it comes from being so sensitive that, you know,

524
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 1: I'm always a little bit like, am I in the way,

525
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: what's going on? Is this okay? And I don't know.

526
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 1: I'm the same if you if you didn't have that

527
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: and and you had that assuredness about your job, then

528
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 1: you probably would be an actual narcissist like that weirdo

529
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 1: on Twitter accuse you being Yeah, it's like, listen, I

530
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 1: can't be a narcissist. There's nobody who ships on me

531
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 1: more than me, So like you need to sit down, sir.

532
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: It is interesting though, right, I mean, actors are are

533
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 1: always across the board called narcissists because we they're always like,

534
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 1: you're just thinking about yourself. And here's the thing, we're

535
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: not just thinking about ourselves. We can't because otherwise we

536
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to emote, and it wouldn't be emotions

537
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 1: that everybody could relate to if it was all about us. Now,

538
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 1: the difference is that the world makes it all about

539
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:59,719
Speaker 1: us more than more than what we do, because you know,

540
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 1: where the faces on the billboard were the people that

541
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 1: go on the talk shows and have to sell the

542
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: show or the movie or the project, and it doesn't

543
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that we're putting ourselves in that boat.

544
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,719
Speaker 1: I mean, I would love nothing more than to just

545
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 1: let a project come out and just let it see

546
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 1: if people like it, you know, as opposed to always

547
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: having to put a face with it that sells it,

548
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: that gets people to go. It's like, right, So I

549
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, look, I think everybody as it

550
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 1: has to think about themselves. I mean, everybody has to

551
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: think about themselves otherwise, you know what I mean, You're

552
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 1: not what do you why do you wake up in

553
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 1: the morning, But you're right there. There's a there's a

554
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: team aspect that is our existence that the world doesn't see,

555
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: you know, Like I rally for my crew. That is

556
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 1: my greatest joy on set, and people who watch whatever

557
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 1: we make, they don't see the crew. They don't know

558
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: about all the camera guys. They don't know about the

559
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: department heads, they don't know about the construction teams with

560
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 1: the transpo drivers, like you know. I always find it

561
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 1: interesting when people get angry at us for being political,

562
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 1: and especially when I talk about healthcare. A lot of

563
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 1: people have been like, what do you know about like

564
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 1: what health care looks like. I'm like, first of all,

565
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 1: I have healthcare because I have a union, So whatever

566
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: you think, that's why. And second of all, I want

567
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 1: to make sure that the union guys who work in

568
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 1: the camera department and the construction department and the transport

569
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 1: department also have health care. I want to make sure

570
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: your kid has health care, you know it. I think

571
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: the sort of disparate nature of what the public press

572
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 1: looks like versus the daily practice of making a story

573
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: causes some of that. Yeah, well, and I also think

574
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 1: you know, I've been directing, and when you step outside

575
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 1: of what you actually do as your career, and this

576
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: is I think true to everybody, no matter what they do.

577
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,959
Speaker 1: If you go and you take another job inside of

578
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: what you do, so you can work in an office

579
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: and say I'm going to go and one day just

580
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 1: be behind my president and see what my president does

581
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 1: every day in my job or whatever whatever you want

582
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 1: to call it, because it changes your perspective of your

583
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 1: responsibility and how you are a part of the team.

584
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 1: And a lot of people don't know that until they

585
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 1: step out of it and step behind it. And you know, look,

586
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 1: we've been on sets for years and I was like, no,

587
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: I get it. I know. I know we are not

588
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 1: in this alone. This is would not happen. This couldn't

589
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 1: get made if this one person didn't show up, right,

590
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 1: And I think like all actors should go and you know,

591
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: shadow a director, shadow, a producer, shadow, and executive shadow,

592
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 1: somebody within your space to see how important every piece

593
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 1: of the puzzle is. And you know, because I do

594
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: think that we forget and I think everybody out in

595
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,320
Speaker 1: the world forgets because everybody, we all get in our habits,

596
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 1: were all like, this is my job, this is my part,

597
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: but no, we all play a part in so many

598
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:22,359
Speaker 1: other things. And I like doing that because it just

599
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 1: reminds me how important everybody's places, no matter what they do.

600
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 1: And I think about that as kind of a that's

601
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 1: a micro cosm example of the macro cosm of society,

602
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,399
Speaker 1: right like if we took more time to look at

603
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 1: what everyone's doing, what are city workers doing and postal

604
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: workers doing, and what's happening in you know, the county courts,

605
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: and what's going on at the coffee shop on the corner.

606
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 1: It's so important that we look at and honor everybody's

607
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 1: role in this because we're building something collectively, and I

608
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 1: think we can forget and and out there in the world.

609
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 1: We can think, what's happening to me in the world,

610
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 1: what's going on for me? And it is really important

611
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: to kind of step into other arenas, put yourself in

612
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 1: other people's shoes. And when I'm thinking from that place,

613
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: I can feel it in the way I operate in

614
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 1: the world around me. And so that becomes a goal

615
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 1: to try to think about that more often. And and

616
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:27,240
Speaker 1: it's interesting when relating it back to set my first show,

617
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 1: when I was doing One Tree Hill, we were in

618
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: North Carolina for nine years, and like that is a

619
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: small place. We were trapped together, you know. And one

620
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: of the ways that I really found continued investment for

621
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 1: me as a creative and that job was to be

622
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,360
Speaker 1: more and more behind the scenes. So to shadow my

623
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,720
Speaker 1: great producing director and executive producer on the show, Greg

624
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 1: Pray and who I just love to be in his office,

625
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 1: to listen to notes calls, to go down to the

626
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: prop department and talk to them like what are your

627
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: budget look like? And how do you figure things out?

628
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 1: And what about the guys in set deck, and you know,

629
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 1: to go visit construction and and to really you know,

630
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 1: take my days off and go on tech scouts. And

631
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 1: so then when I started directing on the show in

632
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 1: the last couple of seasons, I felt so ready and

633
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: being a director in a way completely reinvested me in

634
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 1: what I was doing on the show. It made me

635
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: love my job as an actor so much more. It

636
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 1: made it all feel so important again, you know, And

637
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: when you've done something for I don't know, seven years,

638
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, it's like my job, and everything becomes relative.

639
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 1: And it's cool that moving yourself around, like you said,

640
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 1: and being behind other people while they do their jobs

641
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 1: can do that. I love that. I really I didn't

642
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 1: know I was going to love it so much. And

643
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: I was shadowing a lot, a couple of actors that

644
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 1: we had turned directors, and and then they kept saying,

645
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 1: I'm and to just give you one note of advice,

646
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: which is you're either going to love this and you're

647
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 1: going to want to do it more than acting, or

648
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 1: you're going to hate it, like there's no gray area,

649
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 1: because it is. It's a certain mindset, you know. And

650
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 1: I of course loved it, and now you know, I'm

651
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 1: struggling with trying to figure out how to do both

652
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 1: right because acting is my bread and butter. Directing. I

653
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 1: got to start at the bottom and I got to

654
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 1: work my way up. And you know, I can't make

655
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 1: a living doing it, but I can hopefully try and

656
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 1: put it in there until I can. You know, you know,

657
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 1: you gotta work your way up to a better paycheck

658
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 1: for that. But I'm just glad that the doors are open.

659
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 1: You know, the doors weren't that open before, so it's

660
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,799
Speaker 1: that's kind of exciting. Yeah, that's so cool. Yeah. I

661
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 1: just I helped a friend tape for a show that

662
00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 1: is so amazing recently, and he's not an actor, but

663
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 1: it happens to be one of my favorite shows. And weirdly,

664
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 1: he was asked two He's in another creative industry and

665
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 1: was asked to read for a role and like called me.

666
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 1: I was like, what is acting? How? What is it?

667
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 1: I don't understand? And I was like, come over. And

668
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 1: we spent two days like prepping and working, and I like,

669
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 1: I did just I did all these weird exercises with

670
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 1: him and ran him through all these options and showed

671
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 1: him all these things, and like played improv games with him,

672
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,399
Speaker 1: and and we put all this stuff on tape over

673
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 1: the course of two days. Because I also know the

674
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 1: psychological pressure of what that feels like, because obviously I'm

675
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: a selfloathing creative person and auditioning for anything is my nightmare.

676
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 1: Which is ironic because I've like ten thousand hours. I'm like,

677
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 1: I've done that eight times over, yet here I am

678
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: being like, what if it never works? What if I

679
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:52,439
Speaker 1: forgot how to do it? And so we taped him

680
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:58,400
Speaker 1: for this unbelievable show and the producers called like raving

681
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 1: and he was like, you're such a good director, and

682
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 1: I was like, I know, I kind of forgot. I've

683
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 1: been so busy doing other things that I haven't directed

684
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,800
Speaker 1: in a while, and I was like, I should maybe

685
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 1: do that again too. I know. It's just so fun.

686
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 1: Love to tell stories, I know, and I love crafting performances.

687
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,439
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the thing to you that I'm noticing

688
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 1: that has been a little kind of disheartening about shadowing

689
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: directors that that aren't actors, which obviously that's the majority

690
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 1: of the directors. There's there's a smaller percentage of actors

691
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:36,399
Speaker 1: that turned to directing. But is that we know all

692
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 1: the things that we wish that directors would say to

693
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 1: us too, for us to give the performance that they want,

694
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 1: and knowing that already going in, you already have that

695
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,399
Speaker 1: leg up. You know. It's just like all directors, they say,

696
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 1: should go to an acting class so they understand the

697
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 1: plight of the actor, which is super complicated. We're all complicated.

698
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,919
Speaker 1: We're all sucked up in in our own beautiful ways.

699
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 1: And because I think every human is sucked up we

700
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 1: all are humans, are sucked up and complicated and confused,

701
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 1: but we put our ship on display, whereas most people

702
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 1: have been trained to hide it. Yeah. Yeah, it's a

703
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: it's a special it's a special specie. And so you realize, Oh,

704
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 1: as an actor who's a director, you already have like

705
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:29,840
Speaker 1: a main line in to the performers, you know. And

706
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 1: and I didn't even really think about that until I

707
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 1: just started seeing more directors that were like afraid to

708
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 1: talk to actors, you know, or like afraid to approach

709
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,839
Speaker 1: them ors. It's going to be too demeaning, Or should

710
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: I be more honest? Or should I beat around the

711
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 1: bush or should I And I was like, look, you

712
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,399
Speaker 1: got to tell these actors what you want. That's our

713
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 1: job is you tell us what you want and we

714
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 1: will do it. But if you do not tell us

715
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: and you beat around the bush, and you're like, maybe

716
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: possibly could have been you know, we're gonna give you that, sure,

717
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 1: you know. But then there's directors that are like, oh,

718
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to give a line reading.

719
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:07,760
Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't have to give a line reading?

720
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,279
Speaker 1: Like it was funny that I became like, you know,

721
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:16,880
Speaker 1: kind of the exact, So um had that to your resume.

722
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 1: You're like communication strategists exactly. Oh my god, which is

723
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 1: weird because I talk and run on sentences and not

724
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 1: the not the best. I forget my words all the time.

725
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 1: I think I'm in like a weird pre menopausal hormone stage,

726
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 1: which is not affecting me. Like you hear these stories

727
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 1: of like hot flashes and all that kind of stuff,

728
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 1: but no one ever talks about that. Apparently your brain

729
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: starts to get foggy when you're pre menoposal. You start

730
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:53,359
Speaker 1: forgetting words. You start like to the point where I

731
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 1: was like, do I have early onset dementia because I

732
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: don't remember words? And I was talking to my sister

733
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 1: about it. It It was a couple of years older than me,

734
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 1: and she was like, do you want her to the truth?

735
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 1: I said, yes, you're like, just tell me my brain

736
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 1: is not broken. Yeah, she said, it's a it's a

737
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 1: very early indication of pre menopausal stuff, like your hormones

738
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 1: are affecting your brain waves, which is And I was like,

739
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: you know, can we ever get a break as women

740
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: for I mean, my god, Ah, that's wild. Okay, wait,

741
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 1: so we're in the trenches obviously of where we are

742
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: storytellers now. But how do we go from you doing

743
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 1: Greece as your senior year high school play and you

744
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 1: were in l A right, Yeah, because I grew up

745
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 1: in Newport Beach, Okay, which is weird. I mean I was,

746
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 1: I didn't. Why is it weird? Because I'm so not

747
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 1: an Orange County person, You're really, I mean, everybody thinks

748
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:58,279
Speaker 1: I'm from the East Coast. So born in Seattle, but

749
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 1: was here as I was from five until I mean

750
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:06,319
Speaker 1: from five on, I've been in California and so, but

751
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: sixth grade of twelfth grade was Newport Beach, was Orange County,

752
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 1: and so then I went to the American Academy, which

753
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:17,319
Speaker 1: was Pasadena. Stayed here. I have always been here. And

754
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 1: and when you took your rejection as a sign of

755
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:25,320
Speaker 1: your readiness and prowess, clearly, where did you go? What happened?

756
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 1: Then I went and I did the like find your

757
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 1: agent by paying money for a commercial workshop, you know,

758
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,240
Speaker 1: I did that thing, and then I got a commercial agent.

759
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: And then I went and studied with Stella Adler. Yes,

760
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,879
Speaker 1: and that was I studied with her until she then

761
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 1: she died, and then stayed I had my teacher, which

762
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: was you know, because Stella at that time was doing

763
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 1: masterclasses where you could go and just take like a

764
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: six week course with her because she still lived in

765
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: New York and so she would come back and forth.

766
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 1: But that was cool. Looking back on that, is there

767
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: something that stands out to you that you learned from her, like, like,

768
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 1: how did that experience shape you as a storyteller? Well,

769
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 1: I think it's weird because she broke people very easily,

770
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 1: like very easily, And to watch her break people was

771
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 1: the almost the big biggest lesson again again watching it

772
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:30,319
Speaker 1: as an outsider, right, not being on the stage being

773
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 1: broken by her, you can't see it. So I learned

774
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:38,880
Speaker 1: more watching her coach actors and they would come and

775
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 1: they would do scenes in front of her and then

776
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:44,359
Speaker 1: she would break it down and I'll never forget her

777
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 1: breaking this actress. And she said to her, She's like,

778
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 1: you're never going to make it. This is not for you.

779
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 1: You're not strong enough. You don't hold your own ground.

780
00:44:55,960 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: You're constantly looking for support or outside. Yeah, you know,

781
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 1: like you're you're not you don't have it from within,

782
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,359
Speaker 1: and until you find it from within, you are not

783
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: going to be a good actor. And I mean she

784
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 1: just tears, tears, tears, and she was like, in the crying,

785
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: it's not gonna help you either. I mean, she was

786
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: so direct and so honest, but she wasn't mean. This

787
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 1: is what was so weird. She was really trying to

788
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: help this girl. And it was right then that I thought,

789
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: I gotta, I need to just get some balls, like

790
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 1: I gotta just understand that I've gotten this far for

791
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 1: a reason, or I have to believe that, and I

792
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 1: gotta I have to own it. I gotta just figure

793
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: that out. So it was really weird because I learned

794
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 1: the biggest lesson from her kind of breaking down somebody else,

795
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 1: not breaking down me. But then when you talk about

796
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: how you've got to find it from within, Yeah, where

797
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:08,320
Speaker 1: does that come from? It's a very good question, because

798
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 1: I lose it a lot, you know. I think that

799
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 1: I found that when you connect with the thing in

800
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 1: yourself that you're most afraid of is when you are

801
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 1: the most grounded. Because we're constantly running from what scares us, right,

802
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,799
Speaker 1: It's that what's called the amygdala, amygdala part of your brain,

803
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 1: which is the fight or flight, and somebody scares us,

804
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 1: we'd run but if you know, like, Okay, I'm insecure

805
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:43,839
Speaker 1: about X, Y and Z, I need to fight that

806
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:49,400
Speaker 1: and be in it, because no matter how strong you

807
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 1: can appear or pretend to be, that insecurity is there,

808
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:59,720
Speaker 1: and it keeps you, I guess, relatable, It keeps you soft.

809
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 1: And so I always knew because I was I've always

810
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 1: been about entertaining people and making people laugh. And but

811
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 1: I think, like the first time that I made somebody cry,

812
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:16,200
Speaker 1: it made me cry because I thought, oh, I just

813
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: was being honest. I was just being open. I wasn't

814
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:24,359
Speaker 1: hiding from the thing I'm so afraid of. And and

815
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:27,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I still have to talk

816
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 1: to myself about all that stuff all the time. But

817
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,360
Speaker 1: I think when you're in acting school, you can work

818
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 1: through it because you can work on your scenes, you

819
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 1: can get better at it. You can go home and go, wow,

820
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,919
Speaker 1: that I was acting and I was pretending and and

821
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 1: and getting to dive into other characters and use whatever

822
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 1: your little quirks are as bonuses and go, oh, that's

823
00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 1: what makes me unique, because we're all different. But then

824
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:56,280
Speaker 1: I would lose it, and my acting teacher would say,

825
00:47:56,600 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 1: you have to stop. You're constantly trying to you more,

826
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: and you know, he said, you are enough, and the

827
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 1: day that you understand that you are enough is the

828
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 1: day you are going to start working as an actor.

829
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:14,279
Speaker 1: But if you keep putting all this other shit on

830
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 1: top of who you already are, naturally, it's it's not

831
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 1: never going to come across as real. And I was like, what,

832
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:27,839
Speaker 1: I don't understand. Excuse me? Yeah, I was like, how

833
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 1: how am I enough? I'm not enough? I need more,

834
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,800
Speaker 1: I need this, I need sparkles, I need glitter, I

835
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 1: need you know. But that was the same that was

836
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:39,840
Speaker 1: still at still Adler, but that was with my coach,

837
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 1: Arthur Mendoza, and but that was that was the doozy

838
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 1: and that was what I think then brought it all home. Yeah,

839
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: that's so cool. But then you can go fifteen years

840
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: down the road, have a career and think that your

841
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 1: career is over in your five minutes are done. And

842
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:00,880
Speaker 1: so I remember reading an interview two years ago that

843
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,400
Speaker 1: Harrison Ford gave talking about that, and he said that

844
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 1: every time he finishes a job, he's convinced he's never

845
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 1: going to get another one. And I was like, wow,

846
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:12,640
Speaker 1: Harrison Ford star Wars. I thinks he's never gonna work again.

847
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:14,759
Speaker 1: I guess I'm just gonna have to get used to this.

848
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 1: You know. Well, look, I mean we all knew that

849
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 1: coming in, right, I mean, you were fortunate that you

850
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 1: were on a show, you know, for nine years, and

851
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 1: then you're like, wow, this is great. We didn't you know.

852
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 1: Now those shows don't really exist as much anymore. They're

853
00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 1: not doing ten years of shows anymore. I mean, Gray's anatomy, yes,

854
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 1: but that's an anomaly and shameless, you know. But I

855
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:43,719
Speaker 1: don't know that we're going to have that anymore. I

856
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: think we're gonna do three years, four years. I think

857
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: that everybody has seen, oh I can go and do

858
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 1: play a character for three or four years and then

859
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 1: leave and then go play another character. But I think

860
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:58,879
Speaker 1: even then you knew that once that job was over,

861
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 1: you'd have to go and find another job. Everybody thinks

862
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:07,839
Speaker 1: that we're just like handed jobs. I'm like, no, uh,

863
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 1: we we had to work for everything. We did, work

864
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 1: for start over every single time. It's not like most

865
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:16,799
Speaker 1: careers where you you move up a ladder and then

866
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 1: you stay there. It doesn't work like that, right, because

867
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:21,759
Speaker 1: sometimes you go down. It's always ground zero here yeah,

868
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 1: but we love it. I know it's the thrill. It's

869
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 1: the I hope, I hope it's the thrill. So what

870
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:34,800
Speaker 1: what was your first on screen role? How did it happen?

871
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 1: Let's see first, like first ever, like not like p

872
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:46,120
Speaker 1: s A for Nancy Reagan, because I did that, So

873
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 1: let's see first. Well, because the first thing I did

874
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:52,880
Speaker 1: on screen that I got taft heartedly for I was

875
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 1: cut out of. So I don't know if I don't

876
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:56,879
Speaker 1: know if it if it counts. I mean I saw

877
00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:59,400
Speaker 1: the credit. You could still hear my voice, but you

878
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,319
Speaker 1: didn't seem my face. And yet that's what I was

879
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 1: taffed heartley for, which I find so funny. And for

880
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 1: those of you that don't know what taff hearty is,

881
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:11,479
Speaker 1: it's if you're not in the union, and the production says,

882
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 1: we have to have this person. This person is the

883
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: only person that can play this part. We will taft

884
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 1: heartly them, which means they will bring you into the

885
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 1: union for playing that part. And then I was cut

886
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 1: out so I was so important. And then I think

887
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:29,479
Speaker 1: that was called The Day my Parents Ran Away, which

888
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:33,319
Speaker 1: was great. But what was the first thing I was

889
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 1: seen in such a good isn't it crazy that you forget?

890
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:43,840
Speaker 1: It might have been the Jenny McCarthy show. Jenny McCarthy

891
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 1: had a sitcom that was kind of like a modern

892
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:52,400
Speaker 1: day want to be Laverna Shirtley, and I did that

893
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:58,560
Speaker 1: show because then that started a whole incredible tumbleweed effect.

894
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 1: I then I went and I did Ellen when Ellen

895
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 1: had a sitcom What a Dream, And that was when

896
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 1: I met Jeremy Piven for the first time. And then

897
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 1: I got on Seinfeld. I mean it was crazy. It

898
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 1: was just this like, all of a sudden, it just

899
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 1: it was just Yeah, it was like that ball rolling

900
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:21,840
Speaker 1: down the hill, right. And then were you because you

901
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 1: were doing spots on these shows, were you just going

902
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:26,840
Speaker 1: to auditions all the time? Like what was what was

903
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: your life? Oh? It was crazy auditioning all the time,

904
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:34,000
Speaker 1: you know, co star parts which were just like one line. Uh.

905
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 1: And then I remember I had like so many one

906
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 1: line parts that all of a sudden, my agents were like, Okay,

907
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:42,319
Speaker 1: no more co stars. You're not allowed to audition for

908
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 1: co stars anymore. Now you auditioned for guest stars. And

909
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:47,800
Speaker 1: I was so terrified. I was like, how am I

910
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 1: going to get more than one line? I mean that's

911
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:52,399
Speaker 1: that's I don't know, I don't know what is that? Yeah,

912
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 1: And then of course your pool gets smaller, right because

913
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:58,240
Speaker 1: there's not as many guest stars. And then I started

914
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:01,720
Speaker 1: doing guest stars, and then guest stars turning started turning

915
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:08,360
Speaker 1: into arcs. I I have been very fortunate in my career.

916
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,319
Speaker 1: My journey is that I'd get cast as a guest star,

917
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 1: and then it would get turned into more than one episode.

918
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,600
Speaker 1: It would become three or five or whatever. Like Entourage

919
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:20,799
Speaker 1: was three episodes and I ended up on the show

920
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:24,360
Speaker 1: for six years. Oh my god, that's so cool. And

921
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 1: uh so that was fun. But you know, it's you

922
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 1: start making your pool smaller and smaller, right, because then

923
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 1: you go can't do guest stars. Now I can only

924
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 1: do arcs yeh oh yeah, And it becomes a thing

925
00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:37,799
Speaker 1: like it's so funny to think about it because in

926
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 1: the early days of my career it would have been

927
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 1: so exciting. And by the way, I have fun no

928
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 1: matter when I go to set. But it's like I

929
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 1: just did a guest star on a show as a

930
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 1: favor to a producer who's a friend, and they were like,

931
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 1: please come do this for us. It's one episode, Like

932
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,279
Speaker 1: we promise we'll shoot you out as quickly as we can.

933
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 1: It's gonna be so fun. We like we want we're

934
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:57,879
Speaker 1: we're doing this thing. We want the audience to think

935
00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 1: this character is staying forever, and like, no one will

936
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:02,400
Speaker 1: think you're doing one episode of a show. And I

937
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:05,319
Speaker 1: was like, cud, isn't that so crazy? Like when I

938
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 1: was when I was busting my ass going to three

939
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:10,919
Speaker 1: auditions a day for pilot season during college, I would

940
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:15,319
Speaker 1: have killed to do an episode of TV. And here

941
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 1: I am with like a producer who I love and respecting,

942
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 1: Like no one would think you would do that. And

943
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 1: I was like, this is so crazy again. It goes

944
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,239
Speaker 1: all the way back to the beginning of our it's

945
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 1: all about you know, it's so wild. Everybody presumes and

946
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:30,319
Speaker 1: you know, and I was like, of course I want

947
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:31,919
Speaker 1: to come play on your side. It'll be so fun,

948
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:35,480
Speaker 1: you know, Like what am I doing next Tuesday? Yeah? Well,

949
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:39,040
Speaker 1: And lot's the other thing to like, how great that

950
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 1: we can be in a position where you're helping them

951
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:45,760
Speaker 1: more than they're helping you when it's always was the opposite.

952
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:49,239
Speaker 1: It's been it's always the opposite. You start, Yeah, it's

953
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 1: so cool. I I remember getting pages on my pager

954
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 1: from my agent and having to find a pay phone

955
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 1: and making sure I had quarter and dimes too, and

956
00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:04,600
Speaker 1: then having my pad of paper and writing it down

957
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 1: and then checking the coordinates and my Thomas Guide, and

958
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,920
Speaker 1: it shows you how ancient I am, but getting my

959
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 1: Thomas Guide, finding the coordinates, trying to figure out when

960
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 1: I was going to have to leave in order to

961
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,799
Speaker 1: get there on time. And you know, before GPS, I

962
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:23,959
Speaker 1: was early to everything. GPS has made us all so

963
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:28,200
Speaker 1: lazy because we believe what it says when it says like, oh,

964
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 1: forty seven minutes, great, great, an hour and fifteen minutes later,

965
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,399
Speaker 1: I'm still in the car, right. And also, if you're

966
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,320
Speaker 1: like me and you think you can always beat ways

967
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,000
Speaker 1: these ways is like forty seven minutes, I'm like, bitch, please,

968
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 1: I can get there in forty And then you're in

969
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:55,799
Speaker 1: the car and you're like, oh god, oh god, oh god. Exactly. Yeah. Wait,

970
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 1: So what was it like to be on Entourage for

971
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 1: six years? Because that was one of those shows that

972
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:08,839
Speaker 1: was so iconic in its timing and yeah, yeah, I mean,

973
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:11,520
Speaker 1: and I think I can talk about the story because

974
00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 1: Doug Allen the creator knows the whole story. But so

975
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:18,880
Speaker 1: when I auditioned, I auditioned in the second season, so

976
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:21,480
Speaker 1: the show had already been on for a year and

977
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 1: I had seen it and I didn't like it, and

978
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 1: I thought it was incredibly very male chauvinistic. I thought

979
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:33,440
Speaker 1: that all the women were nude, nobody was smart, and

980
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 1: why would I want to be on a show like that?

981
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:40,719
Speaker 1: And when the audition came in, I actually didn't. I

982
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 1: said no, and I didn't want to go on it,

983
00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 1: and my agents actually forced me. They said, here's the thing,

984
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 1: We're not going to let you say no because this

985
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:55,920
Speaker 1: show is going to be like a cult hit. They're

986
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 1: going to fix the issues with the women and the men,

987
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 1: and you know, HBO has been very vocal about saying

988
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,720
Speaker 1: that they would like to have some stronger female characters present.

989
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 1: And you know, it's three episodes. It's not what's like,

990
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:13,879
Speaker 1: it's not a big deal. It's three episodes, and you'll

991
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 1: be a part of something that I really truly can

992
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 1: tell you is going to be a cult classic. And

993
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 1: I was like, ah, fine. So I went in and

994
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 1: it was me and Connie Britain, who I had already

995
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 1: known at the time because her and I did fighting

996
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 1: Fitzgerald's together and her and I were both sitting there

997
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:36,560
Speaker 1: on the couch in the waiting room opposite all of

998
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 1: these girls in like real tight dresses and a lot

999
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 1: of makeup and boobs out. I mean, I was just like,

1000
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:47,840
Speaker 1: this is I don't know what this world is. I

1001
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:52,120
Speaker 1: don't like it. I'm very uncomfortable and what am I

1002
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 1: going to do? Yeah, and we both I was like,

1003
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:56,680
Speaker 1: I really don't want I really don't want this part,

1004
00:57:57,240 --> 00:58:00,160
Speaker 1: and she said I know, I don't. I don't really

1005
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,440
Speaker 1: understand it either, and I was like, all right, well,

1006
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:06,880
Speaker 1: you know, here goes nothing. And I, you know, I

1007
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 1: went to the room and I think it was very

1008
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:12,640
Speaker 1: obvious that I didn't care and I can now look

1009
00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:14,520
Speaker 1: back on it. And I did ask Doug too. I

1010
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:16,760
Speaker 1: was like, I can't believe I got this part. And

1011
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:18,640
Speaker 1: he's like, because you came in and you didn't give

1012
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:21,640
Speaker 1: a ship, You weren't desperate, you didn't want the part,

1013
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 1: and we knew it, and that frustrated us, like why

1014
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,320
Speaker 1: doesn't she why is she acting like she doesn't want

1015
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:29,760
Speaker 1: this part? So that was Dana. I mean, that is

1016
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 1: really what Dana became Dana became this woman that was like,

1017
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 1: I don't give a ship about you or this or

1018
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 1: that or whatever. And so it does make me laugh

1019
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 1: that I got it based on the fact that I

1020
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 1: was like, this is the farthest thing from where I fit.

1021
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 1: And you know, I started did three episodes, and then

1022
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 1: three episodes turned into a couple more in that same season,

1023
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:53,960
Speaker 1: and then they brought me back the next season and

1024
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:56,080
Speaker 1: the next season and the next season. And it's funny

1025
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 1: because you know, I was never a regular and everybody

1026
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:01,960
Speaker 1: thinks I was a regular on that show, but no,

1027
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:06,440
Speaker 1: I was just a recurring guest star. And yeah, for

1028
00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:10,919
Speaker 1: six years, I did like a total of eighteen episodes,

1029
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 1: so I did like one season. If you gather all

1030
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 1: my episodes together, it's like enough of one season of

1031
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:23,760
Speaker 1: the show that was spread out over six years. Yeah,

1032
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 1: but it was fun. I mean, when I was there,

1033
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: it was an amazing set, considering it was so male

1034
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:34,920
Speaker 1: heavy that I think when I was there, I was

1035
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 1: given so much respect and everybody was like, oh, you know,

1036
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:43,080
Speaker 1: it became very much like Dana Gordon's here, like you

1037
00:59:43,120 --> 00:59:46,880
Speaker 1: guys watch your ps and qs, you know, And because

1038
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 1: I had known Jeremy for so long. We already had

1039
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:53,520
Speaker 1: this like inherent chemistry because I'd known him since Ellen,

1040
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: and it was I loved it so much. They kind

1041
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 1: of became like my boys. They were my boys, and

1042
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 1: you know, and when Carla was on and it was

1043
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 1: the women that then came to be a part of

1044
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 1: that show became so important because we were all so

1045
01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:16,320
Speaker 1: strong in our own ways. You know, Perry was her strengths,

1046
01:00:16,640 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 1: and Emmanuel and Carla and me and Autumn also and

1047
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 1: if so when you came on the set, it was

1048
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:30,120
Speaker 1: just it was different. It was great, and I love

1049
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 1: those guys and they were amazing to me. And it's like,

1050
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 1: obviously is the part that I think has now set

1051
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:42,240
Speaker 1: me forward and all the parts I've played since so

1052
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:46,240
Speaker 1: I owe so much to now Doug and Entourage and

1053
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 1: Dana Gordon. It's crazy that that's the role that has

1054
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:55,880
Speaker 1: now shaped the rest of my career. That's because you

1055
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 1: never know. And when you think about to your point,

1056
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 1: the strong women you've gotten to play, these like ballsy, brash,

1057
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:08,560
Speaker 1: amazing women. When you played Claire on Boston Legal, was

1058
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:13,280
Speaker 1: was it crazy too prep for her with with legal

1059
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:16,560
Speaker 1: jargon and all the other sort of specifics that are

1060
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 1: required because I think about legal shows, medical shows, even

1061
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:25,440
Speaker 1: cops shows, how how the jargon is so intense one

1062
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:29,480
Speaker 1: especially with David Kelly, because David Kelly, you can't. You

1063
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:31,919
Speaker 1: gotta mind your p's and ques, and God wanted Dream

1064
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:33,640
Speaker 1: to work for him. Yeah, you have to do your

1065
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:35,960
Speaker 1: a's and your ants and your does and Aaron Sorkins

1066
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 1: the same way, and it makes it a little bit

1067
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 1: more stressful because you know, as actors, you like to

1068
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 1: feel like you can be a little loose and have

1069
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 1: a little bit of improv and change a word here

1070
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:47,360
Speaker 1: and there. But yeah, you can't, not with the legal

1071
01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:51,720
Speaker 1: stuff at all. And that was the job I got

1072
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 1: right after Entourage, and it was you know, the snarky,

1073
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:02,520
Speaker 1: badass kind of woman and that was and I worked

1074
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 1: with Craig Vierko for the first time on that, who

1075
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 1: then became my love interest on Unreal. It's just crazy

1076
01:02:08,080 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 1: all the people that have constantly come back into my life,

1077
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 1: like even career wise, but again, coming on a show,

1078
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 1: when you play a very strong character, you automatically command

1079
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 1: respect because people assumed that is who you are and

1080
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 1: that you take no bullshit. And that has been the

1081
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:32,880
Speaker 1: greatest gift because I don't have that like innately in

1082
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:38,680
Speaker 1: me normally on my normal seven day so and then

1083
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:41,520
Speaker 1: have to own it. It like forces you to own

1084
01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:44,439
Speaker 1: it and be in it. And I loved that part

1085
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:48,760
Speaker 1: so much because I got to be crazy strong and

1086
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:53,440
Speaker 1: but then incredibly vulnerable. And that was the one thing

1087
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:56,880
Speaker 1: I didn't get to explore yet was how you can

1088
01:02:56,920 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 1: make these really strong, confident women very vulnerable because they

1089
01:03:01,760 --> 01:03:04,080
Speaker 1: have to be, and that's actually making them very real.

1090
01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 1: There is no one who is strong who is not

1091
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:11,640
Speaker 1: also sensitive in real life. Yeah, well, I asked. I

1092
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:14,880
Speaker 1: asked the lovely David Fincher when I was on the

1093
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 1: House of Cards. I said, why do I always get

1094
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:22,520
Speaker 1: cast as a bitch? And he said because you aren't

1095
01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:25,040
Speaker 1: one h And I kind of looked at him and

1096
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:29,040
Speaker 1: I was like, really, that's it. It's just that simple.

1097
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:31,160
Speaker 1: And He's like, and also, by the way, you're not

1098
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:35,600
Speaker 1: a bit, You're just a woman who knows what like,

1099
01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:38,280
Speaker 1: just doesn't give a shit about anybody else. Doesn't make

1100
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:40,360
Speaker 1: you a bit, And I was like, okay, but you know,

1101
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just saying what people want to call

1102
01:03:42,520 --> 01:03:45,440
Speaker 1: what labeled they gave those characters which they don't give

1103
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 1: them anymore. Finally, Yeah, well, Chris and Ritter actually said

1104
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 1: it better. A bitch is being in total control of herself.

1105
01:03:54,040 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 1: Oh I like that so much. That just gave me chills. Right, yes,

1106
01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:02,320
Speaker 1: my god, it's my favorite. I'm yeah exactly what you

1107
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 1: You mentioned unreal and this idea of playing and I

1108
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 1: agree like you, you play people who are not always

1109
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 1: like you perhaps the best because it's something to dive into.

1110
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:18,440
Speaker 1: And you mentioned unreal and and and you know, Quinn

1111
01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:23,080
Speaker 1: was the executive producer and director of the show on

1112
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 1: that show, um, which I love the idea of going

1113
01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:29,120
Speaker 1: behind the scenes on a reality dating show as the

1114
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:31,960
Speaker 1: premise for a fictional show. What was it like to

1115
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:37,800
Speaker 1: play her? Because she wasn't always nice? She was intense. Yeah,

1116
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:44,200
Speaker 1: the first episode was terrifying. You know. They had originally

1117
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 1: brought that part to me when it shot, when it

1118
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:49,960
Speaker 1: was a pilot, and I didn't read it and I

1119
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:52,000
Speaker 1: had no interest in doing it because it was in

1120
01:04:52,040 --> 01:04:56,560
Speaker 1: Atlanta and it was Lifetime and I was coming off

1121
01:04:56,600 --> 01:04:59,840
Speaker 1: a House of Cards and I thought, I don't I'm

1122
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to go and do a Lifetime show,

1123
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 1: you know. And I could say this because they all

1124
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:07,880
Speaker 1: know that I've had this opinion and obviously that changed.

1125
01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:11,520
Speaker 1: And it's nice to say these things because people then understand, Oh,

1126
01:05:11,520 --> 01:05:16,000
Speaker 1: look see, we can't judge everything. Everybody judges everything. We

1127
01:05:16,080 --> 01:05:18,919
Speaker 1: all judge everybody. Everybody judges everybody, and you know what,

1128
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:21,000
Speaker 1: we're living in a world now where you can't do that.

1129
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:23,120
Speaker 1: You just gotta go where the content is. And if

1130
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:25,280
Speaker 1: the content is great, it doesn't matter where it is

1131
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:28,919
Speaker 1: or who's doing it, but we just have to support it. Right.

1132
01:05:29,600 --> 01:05:33,080
Speaker 1: So they went, they shot the pilot and they picked

1133
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:36,960
Speaker 1: it up for ten episodes, and Nina Liederman, who was

1134
01:05:37,240 --> 01:05:41,120
Speaker 1: the head of programming at Lifetime at the time, came

1135
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,479
Speaker 1: to me and was like, you have to play this part,

1136
01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:45,560
Speaker 1: and now we're shooting in Vancouver and you have to

1137
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:47,160
Speaker 1: meet with these people. You have to meet with Marty

1138
01:05:47,240 --> 01:05:50,120
Speaker 1: knox In and Sarah Richard Shapiro and just let them,

1139
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:52,840
Speaker 1: just just listen to them. I said, okay, never read

1140
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:55,960
Speaker 1: a script, never saw the pilot, had a two hour

1141
01:05:56,080 --> 01:05:59,080
Speaker 1: meeting with Marty knox In and Sarah G. Richard Shapiro,

1142
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:02,840
Speaker 1: and in the room they convinced me that it was

1143
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:06,120
Speaker 1: going to be this incredible part based on what we

1144
01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:09,920
Speaker 1: would do together as a collaboration actor, writer, producers, creators.

1145
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:13,640
Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, great. So that first episode

1146
01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:16,320
Speaker 1: was the first time I had read the script and

1147
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:21,200
Speaker 1: read what the character was and it was terrifying. I

1148
01:06:21,320 --> 01:06:26,080
Speaker 1: called Nina uh and I called Sarah like crying, and

1149
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:30,640
Speaker 1: I said, I can't do this. She's so mean, Like

1150
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:35,000
Speaker 1: it's so mean, it's it's it's hurtful, like I am

1151
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:39,240
Speaker 1: hurting people. And I don't know that I can. I

1152
01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:40,680
Speaker 1: don't know that I can do this. I don't know

1153
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:42,080
Speaker 1: that I can pull it off. I don't know that

1154
01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:46,400
Speaker 1: I want to represent a woman like this. And Nina

1155
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:50,400
Speaker 1: kept saying, people are gonna love you. People are gonna

1156
01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:55,840
Speaker 1: love you because you again, because she was said, you're

1157
01:06:55,840 --> 01:06:58,360
Speaker 1: going to see it in your eyes that you have

1158
01:06:58,400 --> 01:07:02,760
Speaker 1: a vulnerability and this is your armor. And we need

1159
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:06,760
Speaker 1: to represent these women. They need to be represented. And

1160
01:07:06,800 --> 01:07:09,200
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, okay, I don't know, okay, And

1161
01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:12,720
Speaker 1: then like two or three episodes in I then it

1162
01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:18,520
Speaker 1: just snapped and I became incredibly obsessed with how she

1163
01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:21,440
Speaker 1: was represented because they were doing safe words in the

1164
01:07:21,480 --> 01:07:26,120
Speaker 1: first season, like you couldn't say pussy, you had to

1165
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:30,000
Speaker 1: say who ha, and I said, you know, no, here's

1166
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:32,240
Speaker 1: the thing. If you if you want me to play

1167
01:07:32,240 --> 01:07:35,200
Speaker 1: this character, I have you got to go dirty. This

1168
01:07:35,240 --> 01:07:37,360
Speaker 1: woman is not going to say who ha. And it

1169
01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:41,040
Speaker 1: was from that episode and that scene and that word

1170
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:44,640
Speaker 1: that I said, I mean, if I'm gonna do this,

1171
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:49,040
Speaker 1: I have to go hardcore. And that was the best

1172
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:51,360
Speaker 1: advice I could have kind of given myself, because you

1173
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:54,880
Speaker 1: can't play that character like half asked, you can't. I mean,

1174
01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:57,960
Speaker 1: it was it was exhausting. It's really is the hardest

1175
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:01,600
Speaker 1: character I've ever played, because as it took so much

1176
01:08:01,760 --> 01:08:04,760
Speaker 1: out of me. It it took all my kind of

1177
01:08:04,880 --> 01:08:08,439
Speaker 1: joy of life and my inherent happiness that I have

1178
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:11,240
Speaker 1: on a daily basis, and I had to put that

1179
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:16,960
Speaker 1: away and then I got you know, I think obviously

1180
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:20,479
Speaker 1: it helped that the first season went over so well

1181
01:08:20,520 --> 01:08:24,479
Speaker 1: and the I didn't realize women needed that. I didn't

1182
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:28,280
Speaker 1: know that women needed these women, and the relationship between

1183
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:32,120
Speaker 1: Quinn and Rachel was also something I didn't think was

1184
01:08:32,200 --> 01:08:35,160
Speaker 1: going to explode the way it did. And then I

1185
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:39,519
Speaker 1: felt so proud and so honored that it was in

1186
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:44,120
Speaker 1: our hands to deliver these messages for women and especially

1187
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:47,800
Speaker 1: in the reality world. And in those those shows where

1188
01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:51,960
Speaker 1: women are treated so horribly, and it really blew the

1189
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:55,160
Speaker 1: lid off something. Yeah, and I did not see that.

1190
01:08:55,240 --> 01:08:57,360
Speaker 1: I didn't anticipate it, and I think it's why it

1191
01:08:57,439 --> 01:09:01,479
Speaker 1: made it so glorious. But it was hard. That was

1192
01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:05,680
Speaker 1: a very very hard, hard part. I get it, and

1193
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:08,280
Speaker 1: and I think that's a really important thing, even to acknowledge.

1194
01:09:08,320 --> 01:09:11,920
Speaker 1: People forget that what we do isn't easy, and playing

1195
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:15,519
Speaker 1: some of these people is, I mean, it's I have

1196
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:18,600
Speaker 1: had experiences myself on set where I almost feel like

1197
01:09:18,600 --> 01:09:21,760
Speaker 1: I've I wrap a season and it's like getting over Mono.

1198
01:09:22,280 --> 01:09:24,840
Speaker 1: It's like you don't even realize that you've just you've bought,

1199
01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:28,400
Speaker 1: you've fallen apart, you know, to do to do some

1200
01:09:28,479 --> 01:09:32,040
Speaker 1: of this. And so I think that's so interesting that

1201
01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:34,439
Speaker 1: you can love something so much and it can be

1202
01:09:34,479 --> 01:09:38,559
Speaker 1: so hard. Yeah. And I when it was over, I

1203
01:09:38,600 --> 01:09:41,400
Speaker 1: was I was exhausted, and I was like, I can't

1204
01:09:41,439 --> 01:09:43,519
Speaker 1: I can't do the same where I mean it's I

1205
01:09:43,560 --> 01:09:45,919
Speaker 1: mean I was also flying back and forth from Vancouver

1206
01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:48,000
Speaker 1: and going home every weekend, and then being a mom

1207
01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:52,200
Speaker 1: and a wife and not not doing either very well

1208
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:55,040
Speaker 1: because I was so in my head and I was,

1209
01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:59,440
Speaker 1: so it was just crazy. So that was also exhausting,

1210
01:09:59,479 --> 01:10:01,240
Speaker 1: But it is funny because here I am now two

1211
01:10:01,320 --> 01:10:05,960
Speaker 1: years later and now I'm like, we need Quinn, like

1212
01:10:06,080 --> 01:10:09,040
Speaker 1: we need we need her back. There was there was

1213
01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:14,000
Speaker 1: messaging that I could do through her. Yes, and that's

1214
01:10:14,680 --> 01:10:19,240
Speaker 1: that's what's really important. I'm realizing more than again our

1215
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:23,719
Speaker 1: own egos. It's a big it's a big thing. You.

1216
01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:26,599
Speaker 1: You told Mark Marin that roles for you have only

1217
01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:31,400
Speaker 1: gotten better since you turn forty, which I love. And

1218
01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:36,080
Speaker 1: is there something that looking forward you haven't done that

1219
01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:39,559
Speaker 1: you want to is? Is it more of a Quinn

1220
01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:43,080
Speaker 1: for you? What? What is it? You know? I would

1221
01:10:43,160 --> 01:10:46,960
Speaker 1: love to get back to my comedy Chops, which is

1222
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,600
Speaker 1: when I come from, which is all I did in

1223
01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:52,439
Speaker 1: the beginning of my career. And then everyone said, oh,

1224
01:10:52,560 --> 01:10:55,320
Speaker 1: everyone's only going to look at you as a sitcom actress,

1225
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:58,920
Speaker 1: is what I was told. And so I right after

1226
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:01,720
Speaker 1: my first sitcom, Good Morning Miami, I went and I

1227
01:11:01,760 --> 01:11:07,040
Speaker 1: did Injustice, which was about the Innocence Project, and I

1228
01:11:07,120 --> 01:11:09,880
Speaker 1: was the comedy relief on a very serious show about

1229
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:15,680
Speaker 1: serious true stories, wrongful incarcinations. And then I've been on

1230
01:11:15,760 --> 01:11:18,560
Speaker 1: dramas ever since I was like, what happened to the

1231
01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:21,320
Speaker 1: being the sitcom star? I'd like to go back to

1232
01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:24,559
Speaker 1: that girl, you know, I'd love to go back and

1233
01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:27,880
Speaker 1: play the quirky you know for me, like the role

1234
01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:31,519
Speaker 1: of Julia Louis Dreyfus and Veep is like, you know,

1235
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:36,200
Speaker 1: a dream iconic that or even Fleabag just being crazy,

1236
01:11:36,280 --> 01:11:39,680
Speaker 1: being quirky, not being afraid of not looking good, not

1237
01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:42,080
Speaker 1: being perfect, and it the only thing about Quinn that

1238
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:44,879
Speaker 1: was hard. The dresses and the makeup and the perfect

1239
01:11:44,920 --> 01:11:48,320
Speaker 1: hair and like all of that was like a lot.

1240
01:11:48,400 --> 01:11:51,559
Speaker 1: So I'd like to be the broken down version of

1241
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:54,680
Speaker 1: that because I just think it's a little bit more relatable.

1242
01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:57,519
Speaker 1: But I would like to get back to my comedic

1243
01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:01,120
Speaker 1: chops because it's where it's what I of doing the most.

1244
01:12:01,720 --> 01:12:05,960
Speaker 1: So a comedic Quinn might be interesting, you know. I

1245
01:12:05,960 --> 01:12:10,360
Speaker 1: mean she was funny but not trying to She was

1246
01:12:10,439 --> 01:12:14,960
Speaker 1: more funny because you were uncomfortable. Yeah, so you know

1247
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:17,439
Speaker 1: the show is called work in progress. That's my favorite

1248
01:12:17,479 --> 01:12:22,280
Speaker 1: question to ask when you hear the phrase, what what

1249
01:12:22,439 --> 01:12:24,760
Speaker 1: feels like a work in progress in your life right now?

1250
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:27,800
Speaker 1: It was funny because I was obviously thinking about it

1251
01:12:27,800 --> 01:12:30,080
Speaker 1: because I knew you were going to ask it, and

1252
01:12:30,280 --> 01:12:33,760
Speaker 1: I last night, as I was going to sleep, I

1253
01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:37,640
Speaker 1: I was answering the question in my sleep, and the

1254
01:12:37,680 --> 01:12:40,640
Speaker 1: first thing that I said was, this is going to

1255
01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:43,960
Speaker 1: sound cliche. And I don't know if somebody else has

1256
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:49,160
Speaker 1: already said this, but I can honestly say that everything

1257
01:12:49,600 --> 01:12:52,200
Speaker 1: in my life is still a work in progress. Because

1258
01:12:52,680 --> 01:12:58,320
Speaker 1: if I just picked one thing, like saying, oh, you know,

1259
01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:01,439
Speaker 1: work in progress, but coming a director, it's like no,

1260
01:13:01,640 --> 01:13:05,000
Speaker 1: because becoming a director has to do with going and

1261
01:13:05,040 --> 01:13:08,559
Speaker 1: starting from scratch and you know, meeting with people, doing research,

1262
01:13:08,600 --> 01:13:11,439
Speaker 1: watching movies, blah blah blah blah blah. But I think

1263
01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:14,360
Speaker 1: I me and it's crazy because I'm going to be

1264
01:13:14,439 --> 01:13:19,160
Speaker 1: fifty this year, which is insane. I still think I

1265
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:23,720
Speaker 1: am a huge work in progress, like I am. Every day,

1266
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:27,639
Speaker 1: I'm realizing something new about myself that maybe I haven't

1267
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:30,599
Speaker 1: put into action yet. So I think if I want

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01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:34,400
Speaker 1: to make it more specific, it would be about I've

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01:13:34,439 --> 01:13:40,439
Speaker 1: always lived by now more than never, because we always

1270
01:13:40,479 --> 01:13:43,439
Speaker 1: put things off. Everybody put stuff off. I'd never do that.

1271
01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:45,439
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you want to go on the strip, Okay,

1272
01:13:45,520 --> 01:13:47,120
Speaker 1: let's go. Let's book the tickets right now, let's just

1273
01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:48,840
Speaker 1: get them, let's buy them. And if we can't go,

1274
01:13:48,960 --> 01:13:53,000
Speaker 1: then we can't go. Whatever. But listening to those little

1275
01:13:53,040 --> 01:13:55,360
Speaker 1: voices in your head that always say, just do it,

1276
01:13:55,920 --> 01:13:59,599
Speaker 1: don't we tell tomorrow? Yeah, just do it. I just

1277
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:02,600
Speaker 1: like short, we have to live? What what? Why are

1278
01:14:02,640 --> 01:14:05,599
Speaker 1: we waiting to live? We should all be living every

1279
01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:08,840
Speaker 1: single day, no matter what, even if what means living

1280
01:14:08,960 --> 01:14:11,200
Speaker 1: is being in your pajamas and reading a good book

1281
01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:13,280
Speaker 1: and having a cup of coffee, or like, this is

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01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:16,799
Speaker 1: what I need today for myself, This is me living,

1283
01:14:17,560 --> 01:14:20,240
Speaker 1: you know, or going and traveling to a place you've

1284
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:23,120
Speaker 1: wanted to travel to, and you've always been like now

1285
01:14:23,160 --> 01:14:25,360
Speaker 1: I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait, you know.

1286
01:14:25,880 --> 01:14:29,280
Speaker 1: So that's why I think everything about me is still

1287
01:14:29,920 --> 01:14:35,080
Speaker 1: working itself out. That I really do know it's and

1288
01:14:35,160 --> 01:14:40,240
Speaker 1: it's true, and it's like it takes constant and consistent

1289
01:14:40,439 --> 01:14:45,719
Speaker 1: attention and patience and a willingness to ask yourself questions.

1290
01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:47,840
Speaker 1: And I really love the way that you do that.

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01:14:48,040 --> 01:14:50,000
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming and doing that with all of

1292
01:14:50,080 --> 01:14:52,200
Speaker 1: us to well, thank you and thanks for you know,

1293
01:14:52,560 --> 01:14:55,479
Speaker 1: having the place where you can ask questions and people

1294
01:14:55,479 --> 01:14:57,840
Speaker 1: have to answer them because you know, we can run

1295
01:14:57,840 --> 01:15:00,360
Speaker 1: away from them if they're like asked in or view

1296
01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:03,400
Speaker 1: in an article over an email. Yeah, you can just say,

1297
01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:07,720
Speaker 1: all right, ask that question. I'm like, I got you,

1298
01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:10,160
Speaker 1: I got you. Yeah. Look, I don't think we all

1299
01:15:10,200 --> 01:15:13,600
Speaker 1: we all shouldn't stop. We should never think that we're done,

1300
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:17,880
Speaker 1: you know, as a human race. Yes, my god, like

1301
01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:20,759
Speaker 1: on that positive note. No, but it's just so true,

1302
01:15:20,800 --> 01:15:24,120
Speaker 1: and it's like, yeah, yeah onward. Let's all just everybody

1303
01:15:24,160 --> 01:15:28,040
Speaker 1: should work on themselves every day. Do something different that

1304
01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:31,360
Speaker 1: you think shifts you or changes you or changes your

1305
01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:35,240
Speaker 1: outlook on somebody else. I'm into it, all right, So thanks,

1306
01:15:35,640 --> 01:15:43,080
Speaker 1: thank you. This show is executive produced by Me, Sophia Bush,

1307
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:47,559
Speaker 1: and sim Sarna. Our supervising producer is Alison Bresnick. Our

1308
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:51,639
Speaker 1: associate producer is Kate Linley. Our editor is Josh Wendish,

1309
01:15:52,080 --> 01:15:54,519
Speaker 1: and our music was written by Jack Garrett and produced

1310
01:15:54,560 --> 01:15:57,160
Speaker 1: by Mark Foster. This show is brought to you by

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01:15:57,200 --> 01:15:59,680
Speaker 1: Brilliant Anatomy