Speaker 1: Hey, there are folks in this episode when heartbreak makes headlines,
Speaker 1: Matt and Rachel have decided to end their relationship. And
Speaker 1: with that, folks, welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. Yes,
Speaker 1: Matt James and Rachel Kirconnell, the controversial but couple at
Speaker 1: the center of season twenty five of The Bachelor, have
Speaker 1: after four years now ropes decided to call it quits.
Speaker 1: And we got this word just a short time ago
Speaker 1: from Matt himself in an Instagram post announcing it. Can
Speaker 1: I ask you first? You pointed it out to me
Speaker 1: because you follow and you keep up with stuff on Instagram.
Speaker 1: What was your reaction when you saw it? Oh?
Speaker 2: I was heartbroken.
Speaker 3: You know, it's something that so many people have followed
Speaker 3: over the past four years. But we know Matt intimately
Speaker 3: and well, and he has been a huge source of
Speaker 3: support for us individually and as a couple ever since
Speaker 3: we went through through our situation a few years ago,
Speaker 3: and so he is considered a close friend of ours
Speaker 3: and we're always rooting for him, and if that means
Speaker 3: him going his separate ways, then obviously we support that.
Speaker 3: But it's still sad to see a couple that we
Speaker 3: were rooting for, and that I think America was rooting for.
Speaker 3: So I've felt sad and his post definitely shows that
Speaker 3: he's sad too. He's hurting too. Breakups are hard, tough decisions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is one. If you hell again, this is
Speaker 1: a significant period of time that this relationship has been together.
Speaker 1: This is not a This wasn't a new something that
Speaker 1: was blossoming again four plus years that season was my goodness,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one is when it aired. But plenty of
Speaker 1: headlines if folks been following them, they seemed great, seemed happy,
Speaker 1: at least if you were following them in news, head
Speaker 1: and social media. But his social media posts, we will
Speaker 1: let you know how we all found out the news
Speaker 1: that Matt and Rachel we're ending that relationship. It was
Speaker 1: from a post early this morning.
Speaker 3: Yes, on Instagram, and it shows a picture actually of
Speaker 3: the two of them meeting for the first time on
Speaker 3: The Bachelor. So this was from twenty twenty and it's
Speaker 3: a joyful that first moment when you meet the person
Speaker 3: who you think, at one point you may spend the
Speaker 3: rest of your life with. And that certainly is the
Speaker 3: look these two are giving each other in this picture.
Speaker 3: He chose, and his caption reads this, Father, God, give
Speaker 3: Rachel and I strength to mend our broken hearts. Give
Speaker 3: us a piece about this decision to end our relationship
Speaker 3: that transcends worldly understanding. Shower our friends and family with
Speaker 3: kindness and love to comfort us and remind us that
Speaker 3: our joy comes from you, Lord. And then he has
Speaker 3: a broken heart emoji after that, and he turned the
Speaker 3: comments off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's done by a guy who's been through it,
Speaker 1: who's been through a lot publicly. Look, these are human beings.
Speaker 1: We don't folks we see on TV and a public eye.
Speaker 1: This is someone Think about any breakup you had in
Speaker 1: your life and how much that hurt, even if you
Speaker 1: were the one who initiated the breakup. Breakups are still difficult,
Speaker 1: and certainly if you have this many years put into it,
Speaker 1: But then to have to go through the relationship they
Speaker 1: had in a public manner is certainly something we can
Speaker 1: attest to is difficult. But then what they went through
Speaker 1: initially on the show with the controversy, these two have
Speaker 1: been through some fire together and publicly, and I think
Speaker 1: that is why, in a lot of ways, I think
Speaker 1: this will come as a shock. It'll come as a
Speaker 1: shock to a lot of people. If you've been following
Speaker 1: on social media, these two are everywhere together, playing, having fun, eating, traveling,
Speaker 1: and so this that might be the reason that comes
Speaker 1: to the shock to people.
Speaker 3: Babe the post and look, I know, we know that
Speaker 3: what you put out on social media is the best
Speaker 3: version of yourself most of the time, the best of times.
Speaker 3: You aren't normally posting about or talking about the fight
Speaker 3: you just had or the deep seated problem you're trying
Speaker 3: to work through. So we get that all relationships have
Speaker 3: those different layers that you aren't necessarily showing.
Speaker 2: But I think for me, the announcement.
Speaker 3: I was expecting from Matt was an engagement and there's
Speaker 3: a reason for us to have felt that way. I mean, look,
Speaker 3: the post he put up ten hours actually twelve hours
Speaker 3: before the announcement that they broke up, was a picture
Speaker 3: of the two of them eating pizza in London together,
Speaker 3: And all of the posts before that, which were almost daily,
Speaker 3: were the two of them together, laughing, talking, smiling, eating,
Speaker 3: enjoying each other, having pet names for one another. So
Speaker 3: it is a little jarring given that the last post
Speaker 3: was one of love and joy or seeming and maybe
Speaker 3: that still existed. Maybe they've realized they're better friends than lovers.
Speaker 3: I mean, there were so many things that could go
Speaker 3: into it, but it is definitely shocking, especially when you
Speaker 3: look at Rachel's last post. It was Matt's birthday, which
Speaker 3: was recent December fifth. It was just a little over
Speaker 3: a month ago. And if you don't mind, I'm going
Speaker 3: to read her caption from I guess what would be
Speaker 3: five weeks ago, six weeks ago, happiest of birthdays to
Speaker 3: my best friend, my teammate, my souex chef, the man
Speaker 3: that has my whole heart you feel it and my
Speaker 3: tummy with so much love and laughter, and I'm so
Speaker 3: thankful I get to dance through this life with you.
Speaker 3: Thank you for never ending love and support and smooches
Speaker 3: and snuggles to many more adventures. Happy birthday, my pumpkin.
Speaker 3: And he teased and wrote a caption saying I'm your pumpkin,
Speaker 3: and then he called her chicken, so they were using petne.
Speaker 2: This is just a few weeks ago, so yes, so.
Speaker 1: Look, will you never and ever ever know what's going
Speaker 1: on behind the scenes? And look, I can tell you
Speaker 1: they weren't just putting on public click we could confirm
Speaker 1: that for one hundred percent sure, but not only could
Speaker 1: you speculate and hope and wonder that the next announcement
Speaker 1: was going to be one about an engagement. He flat
Speaker 1: out as they say these things they I mean, he
Speaker 1: was on the show earlier on on our podcast, and
Speaker 1: he's not shy about saying, yes, marriage is next, and
Speaker 1: marriage is what we're thinking. We're talking about this, and
Speaker 1: that the planning was being done for a future together.
Speaker 1: Things happened behind the scenes, and it doesn't mean it
Speaker 1: has to be nasty. It doesn't mean something had to
Speaker 1: somebody had to have done something wrong. Sometimes you just
Speaker 1: come to this realization and it could have happened late
Speaker 1: or very recently. I mean, so yes, those posts could
Speaker 1: have been one hundred percent accurate for what they were
Speaker 1: feeling and experiencing at the time and something changed or
Speaker 1: conversation became different. So we're not going to speculate on
Speaker 1: the reasons.
Speaker 3: No, No, And we know Matt well enough to say
Speaker 3: this with confidence. He is an authentic dude. He is
Speaker 3: not putting on a show for Instagram followers or to
Speaker 3: make things seem better than they are. And so I
Speaker 3: believe that if six weeks ago, they were both speaking
Speaker 3: as if they were looking forward to the future, excited
Speaker 3: about their lives together. Then that was the case six
Speaker 3: weeks ago. I mean in October they were on a
Speaker 3: podcast as you I think you kind of referenced there
Speaker 3: that they are talking. They were talking publicly and candidly
Speaker 3: about getting engaged, because if you follow them on Instagram,
Speaker 3: you know that they've been through They're in that time
Speaker 3: or that phase in their life where everyone's getting married.
Speaker 3: So they were constantly going to a lot of Rachel's friends' weddings,
Speaker 3: and Matt even joked about it. I think he couldn't
Speaker 3: come to one of our events or something we had
Speaker 3: invited him too, because he was going to get another
Speaker 3: wedding with Rachel.
Speaker 1: But I think another time he skipped the wedding so
Speaker 1: we could do something with him.
Speaker 3: I think he did a podcast with us and he
Speaker 3: skipped the wedding. But there was you know, you go
Speaker 3: through your late twenties, early thirties, everyone's getting engaged, everyone's
Speaker 3: getting married. So he was even speaking two months ago
Speaker 3: about having had so many Rachel's friends going through engagements.
Speaker 3: He said, I wouldn't dare go look at a ring
Speaker 3: without consulting Rachel first. But he's clearly said when they
Speaker 3: asked about him getting married or them getting married, he said,
Speaker 3: I think that's the next step. Again, this is two
Speaker 3: months ago, and so then Rachel even went on to say,
Speaker 3: I have the finger ready. I feel that's definitely something
Speaker 3: we want, but I'm on his time. And so I
Speaker 3: think she made it very clear that she was ready, ready, ready.
Speaker 3: She said, my problem is I definitely need to go
Speaker 3: find a ring I like and everything, but that's on
Speaker 3: him at this point. So you know, she was saying, hey,
Speaker 3: I'm ready, and he indicated that he was too, or
Speaker 3: he was getting ready.
Speaker 1: Look, and we talk about this stuff publicly, and this
Speaker 1: is look walking a fine line here because there's obviously
Speaker 1: some stuff that we are privy to behind the scenes
Speaker 1: and from a personal standpoint with Matt over the years
Speaker 1: now oh dang god, it's been four or five years
Speaker 1: now with Matt. But so I do want to make
Speaker 1: sure we're respectful of that relationship. But I can say
Speaker 1: that stuff he's putting out publicly is also what he
Speaker 1: was saying privately. Yes, it's been talking plenty with him
Speaker 1: about marriage and future and Rachel and where they were
Speaker 1: going what they were going to be plenty So it
Speaker 1: was in line publicly and privately with the things you
Speaker 1: were saying. It sucks any breakup you're always rooting for. Well,
Speaker 1: I am at least right, I'm still rooting for Jalo
Speaker 1: and Ben. We've seen a number of celebrity or high
Speaker 1: profile breakups here lately. But the way this one came
Speaker 1: together because we first started interviewing this cat in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty or twenty twenty one. So Season twenty five with
Speaker 1: the Bachelor launched in January of twenty twenty one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was filming in twenty twenty during the pandemic
Speaker 3: and all of that, but everybody was kind of glued
Speaker 3: to their TVs in a way maybe they weren't before
Speaker 3: because of the pandemic.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you throw in the pandemic, and you throw
Speaker 1: in the fact he's the first black Bachelor. This was huge,
Speaker 1: Like this was an event. His season was wild, everybody
Speaker 1: paying attention, and he is as charming and intelligentic and
Speaker 1: ready for that show. He was a perfect bachelor to
Speaker 1: be honest.
Speaker 2: With you, you really he really was and is Yeah, oh.
Speaker 1: In his background, just everything about this dude. You just love.
Speaker 1: And then, of course came the controversy in the season
Speaker 1: because pictures came out about one of his finalists, Rachel
Speaker 1: Kreconnell Antebellum party while she was in college in the South.
Speaker 1: Those pictures came out, she was accused of being a
Speaker 1: racist and participating in this thing. That controversy hit. The
Speaker 1: problem there is Robes. The show taped so early, so
Speaker 1: the shape show was done taping, he had already picked somebody.
Speaker 1: Just the public didn't.
Speaker 2: Know he had already picked her. He had already picked Rachel.
Speaker 1: That's the problem. We didn't know that. So then these
Speaker 1: pictures come out while she was just a finalist, and
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people behind the show freaked out,
Speaker 1: Oh shit, everybody hates this girl and she's the one
Speaker 1: that he ended it so to some degree, and I
Speaker 1: think that's where Chris Harrison came in and he started
Speaker 1: to kind of defend her a little bit. Is that
Speaker 1: a fair way?
Speaker 3: Well, I think the I think the point because he
Speaker 3: knew the outcome right, and he was fully invested in
Speaker 3: the show in multiple ways, not just being the host,
Speaker 3: but being a part of this franchise for two decades,
Speaker 3: So he was trying to amend I believe the pr
Speaker 3: that was blowing up in defense of the show, probably
Speaker 3: first and foremost, and also of Matt and Rachel, because
Speaker 3: he knew them and liked them, and so he thought
Speaker 3: he was doing a solid for them.
Speaker 1: But it came out terribly wrong. It came out up.
Speaker 3: It ended up ending his career on the show. And
Speaker 3: the other Rachel Yes, Yes Lindsay.
Speaker 1: Rachel Lindsay, he did an interview with her on her
Speaker 1: entertainment show and came off as if he's defending racist Behaviorrent.
Speaker 1: He got into a little back and forth with Rachel Lindsay,
Speaker 1: and that moment probably hurt Rachel Kirconnell and Matt James'
Speaker 1: relationship even more because it blew up the controversy into
Speaker 1: an even bigger one to a great degree. So they
Speaker 1: ended up. Matt and they broke up for a little while. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I applauded them for getting back together, but it
Speaker 1: was all you were saying here. It was such a
Speaker 1: strain on their relationship that controversy that it ended them
Speaker 1: the first time around.
Speaker 2: And they've talked about that.
Speaker 3: That that that public pressure of what people thought about
Speaker 3: them about her absolutely influenced that, and then he even
Speaker 3: talked about in that same interview a few months ago
Speaker 3: in October on that podcast, about pressure, and.
Speaker 2: He said, we're doing great.
Speaker 3: I feel like when you feel pressure, it's when you
Speaker 3: don't want to do something. So he said he never
Speaker 3: felt pressure to get engaged because it's something he's always
Speaker 3: wanted to do and it's something that we're gonna do
Speaker 3: at some point. He said, that's why we're together, that's
Speaker 3: what we're working toward. I'm excited about our future. But
Speaker 3: he talked about that very same pressure as being part
Speaker 3: of the reason why they broke up the first time.
Speaker 3: But because they'd been through it, because they got through it,
Speaker 3: because they worked through it, they felt more solid than
Speaker 3: ever continuing their relationship.
Speaker 1: I was and you know what, that gave me confidence
Speaker 1: as well. I did not think they would actually get
Speaker 1: back through that first breakup. Oh yeah, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I get it. I actually get it, and I got
Speaker 1: why as a black man, he would have a difficult
Speaker 1: time maybe trying to reconcile what his girlfriend had done,
Speaker 1: trying to explain it to his family or his friends,
Speaker 1: and trying to say no, she's okay, you trust me,
Speaker 1: and again at that point, they didn't know each other
Speaker 1: that well, right, I have a history with you that
Speaker 1: no matter what you do today, I have a foundation
Speaker 1: of who you are. I don't think they knew each
Speaker 1: other well enough at that time.
Speaker 3: And I think anytime you meet somebody, We've watched enough
Speaker 3: reality TV to know that there are always those questions
Speaker 3: among the contestants as.
Speaker 2: To who is there for the right reasons, who.
Speaker 3: Is there to get a larger following on social media,
Speaker 3: who was there to become an influencer, And so you
Speaker 3: can see where that could have played into.
Speaker 2: All of it as well.
Speaker 3: Where you're not who you think you are, You're not
Speaker 3: who you say you are because I don't know you.
Speaker 3: But they Yeah, four years together is no small thing
Speaker 3: in the public eye after all of that to get through.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think people know this, We know it
Speaker 1: really well. But that was a lot of strain on
Speaker 1: that relationship from responsibilities from I mean personal and public responsibilities,
Speaker 1: from living situation. They're in several different places and bouncing
Speaker 1: around states, so coordinating all that can be difficult as well,
Speaker 1: but they always always, in my opinion, even behind the scenes,
Speaker 1: every relationship has an issue of sulf. Of course, no
Speaker 1: nobody is perfect, but I held out hope you put
Speaker 1: money on it, I would have bet for an engagement
Speaker 1: was going to be the next thing we heard versus
Speaker 1: a breakup.
Speaker 3: A one hundred percent my way, and that's absolutely what
Speaker 3: I would have thought as well, hearing how he speaks
Speaker 3: of her and spoke of her, And you know, you
Speaker 3: make the point we've talked about this.
Speaker 2: They were kind.
Speaker 3: Of in a long distance relationship because they never I
Speaker 3: don't believe from our understanding, they never actually lived in
Speaker 3: the same.
Speaker 1: Town full time.
Speaker 2: That's tough.
Speaker 3: And they do have rigorous travel schedules with what he
Speaker 3: does and what she does. She's just started a lifestyle brand,
Speaker 3: I believe, so they're constantly traveling apart from one another,
Speaker 3: and that absolutely puts a strain on a relationship as well.
Speaker 3: And you know, they had to They would have had
Speaker 3: to decide had they gotten engaged, where they were going
Speaker 3: to live, and that might have been a huge sticking point.
Speaker 3: You know, we don't know, and those are major when
Speaker 3: you when you have differences of opinion, you obviously have
Speaker 3: to compromise if you're going to end up living your
Speaker 3: lives together. But on major issues when it come to
Speaker 3: where you're living or how you're living, who works, who doesn't,
Speaker 3: Who stay at homes with a kid, who doesn't? You know,
Speaker 3: I love that I see a lot of young couples
Speaker 3: really putting in the time to consider those factors before
Speaker 3: they get married. And I applaud that because that's not
Speaker 3: something I even really considered or thought about when I
Speaker 3: rushed into marriage at twenty three. And so I applaud
Speaker 3: anyone who gives extra time and thought to some of
Speaker 3: these major things that can absolutely derail a marriage.
Speaker 2: So, you know, I.
Speaker 3: Think, as sad as it is to see a breakup
Speaker 3: and two people who we were I think all invested
Speaker 3: in and rooting for, I actually applaud. I applaud the
Speaker 3: bravery encourage it takes to break up before you get married,
Speaker 3: to not do what people expect you to do, to
Speaker 3: not walk down the aisle because you think you should
Speaker 3: or you said you would. And I can only speak
Speaker 3: for myself that I have been in that position before
Speaker 3: and made the wrong call. So I applaud someone who
Speaker 3: can in it. It does take courage to break up
Speaker 3: like this before, especially when you know people are rooting
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 1: That to that last point you make. I've talked about this.
Speaker 1: I think you've I think you've said it's less for
Speaker 1: you than it is for me. But that public pressure
Speaker 1: sometimes is you've had so many I mean, you've had
Speaker 1: other people come along and invest in the decision you're
Speaker 1: making because they also say, Okay, TJ, I'm with you.
Speaker 1: But if you tell me this is what you want,
Speaker 1: I am going to root for it too. I am
Speaker 1: gonna support it as well. But now you've got all
Speaker 1: those people with you, which feels great when everything's going great.
Speaker 1: But then the next thing, Okay, this grouple, I'm going
Speaker 1: to disappoint them, I'm going to disappoint my family again.
Speaker 1: You think, oh my god, what are they gonna say
Speaker 1: about us here or there or you for it to
Speaker 1: have to run through your mind for a split second
Speaker 1: that your relationship you need to consider a headline that's
Speaker 1: going to be written. That is. That's not a way
Speaker 1: to be. But it's a reality, and it is. It
Speaker 1: feels awful. It does. It feels awful. As difficult as
Speaker 1: a relationship can be, we all know they're hard roabes.
Speaker 3: You show me one relationship and there's no way ones
Speaker 3: that have made it that it's been an easy road.
Speaker 3: It's never easy, and I mean, I think that is
Speaker 3: what makes them so special and valuable if you do
Speaker 3: find the right person who you're willing to work hard
Speaker 3: for and with, because it's rare. I do actually think
Speaker 3: it's rare, and you know it's I think anyone who's listening.
Speaker 3: You don't have to be a celebrity or someone in
Speaker 3: the public eye to know how hard it is to
Speaker 3: make these decisions, because in your world, if it's your
Speaker 3: pastor if it's your neighbors, if it's your children's school
Speaker 3: friends and community, no one wants to admit that they
Speaker 3: can't work it out, that they can't figure it out,
Speaker 3: that they fell out of love, that they want different things.
Speaker 3: Those things all feel embarrassing, humiliating, shameful even sometimes so,
Speaker 3: But why do.
Speaker 1: We feel that if everybody's gone through it, everybody listening
Speaker 1: is gone through what you're talking about, So why is
Speaker 1: it we end up being made to feel like crap
Speaker 1: in a public way like this or no, even privately.
Speaker 1: Sometimes people look at yes, okay, is if your relationship
Speaker 1: is great, is if everything's great over there, and you go,
Speaker 1: why is it we look we do that to people,
Speaker 1: even if we've gone through it, every single one of us,
Speaker 1: but everybody is going to be online and typing something
Speaker 1: is saying something negative. Aha, I told you that kind
Speaker 1: why do we do that?
Speaker 3: And then there's finger pointing because people always want to
Speaker 3: blame one person for being the cause or reason for
Speaker 3: a breakup because you know what, it's easier you want
Speaker 3: to you want to have an explanation so you can think, Ah,
Speaker 3: that's not happening in my marriage or in my relationship,
Speaker 3: so I'll be okay. I do think that is what
Speaker 3: it all boils down to. But I just I just
Speaker 3: want to say that my heart is breaking for both
Speaker 3: of them and their families and their friends and everyone
Speaker 3: who is rooting for them.
Speaker 2: Because it is a loss.
Speaker 3: It's a loss of a dream, it's a loss of
Speaker 3: a hope, and somehow we all maybe even personalize it
Speaker 3: and think, oh, no, if it could happen to them,
Speaker 3: it could happen to me. And I think that is
Speaker 3: what goes through a lot of people's minds when they
Speaker 3: see a breakup like this, even if it's someone you've
Speaker 3: never met, someone you've never known, but someone who you've
Speaker 3: looked up to or looked to for comfort or joy,
Speaker 3: and maybe even if your relationship isn't going great, seeing
Speaker 3: someone else sometimes gives you hope that yours might come around.
Speaker 3: So I do think we all end up relating this
Speaker 3: sometimes back to ourselves and our own lives, and you
Speaker 3: want to have those beacons of hope that relationships can
Speaker 3: last through the tough times.
Speaker 1: All right, we'll stay with us here, folks, when we
Speaker 1: come back. What in the world is going on in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five we got yet another breakup. We are
Speaker 1: here talking about also what we planned to do immediately
Speaker 1: for Matt and Rachel. Stay with us. We're back now
Speaker 1: reacting to the news that a dear friend, Matt James,
Speaker 1: has ended his relationship, or I should say they have
Speaker 1: ended their relationship, Matt James and Rachel Kirconnell, who were
Speaker 1: stars of the season twenty five of The Bachelor. But
Speaker 1: we were talking about this just in recent days, even
Speaker 1: recorded an episode about this. I don't think it's out yet,
Speaker 1: but before we recorded this one this morning, you said, man,
Speaker 1: were that other episode seems irrelevant now because part of
Speaker 1: it was about all the celebrity breakups, so many relationships
Speaker 1: ending that we were hearing about at the end of
Speaker 1: last year at the beginning of this year. I'm going
Speaker 1: to forget several but Jessica Alba and Cash Swarren, Jessica Simpson, well, yes,
Speaker 1: Jessica Simpson announced her breakup. What were the other was
Speaker 1: a Brandon Routh from The Superman Guy. Yes, I'm forgetting it.
Speaker 3: And there was another reality show couple breakup. They were dating,
Speaker 3: they were long distance for three years and they broke
Speaker 3: up as well. But this is what sometimes experts say
Speaker 3: happens at the first of the year. Right, the divorce
Speaker 3: is January one. January second supposedly like a major divorce
Speaker 3: day in divorce court where people file their paperwork. You know,
Speaker 3: I think, look, having gone through this, I know in
Speaker 3: my mind I have said to myself or even to
Speaker 3: my partner at the time, let's just get through Christmas.
Speaker 3: Let's just get through the holidays, and then we'll tell everyone.
Speaker 3: Then we'll make the announcement.
Speaker 1: You know what other people say, let's just get through
Speaker 1: the high school graduation, let's just get the kid off
Speaker 1: to college. I mean, there are all kinds of reasons
Speaker 1: to you very exact point, And yes, I've been guilty
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 2: As well.
Speaker 3: A lot of times you do it for other people,
Speaker 3: not even for yourselves. But you're thinking, I don't want to.
Speaker 3: I don't want to upset everyone's Christmas.
Speaker 2: I don't want to. I want to give my kids
Speaker 2: one last good holiday. You know you do it.
Speaker 3: But so the first of the year obviously a renewal
Speaker 3: for so many people. And I say, sadly, we see
Speaker 3: breakups being announced, but they've been in the works, probably for.
Speaker 2: A long time.
Speaker 3: That's the truth of the matter. We don't know if
Speaker 3: that is specifically relatable or applicable to Matt and Rachel,
Speaker 3: but certainly I can just speak from personal experience that
Speaker 3: that does make a lot of sense. And I say
Speaker 3: sadly because it's not always sad. Sometimes it's long overdue.
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's what's needed. You have to have a breakdown
Speaker 3: to have a breakthrough, and it's the only way forward
Speaker 3: if you're not going to be in a relationship that's
Speaker 3: loving and hopeful and joyful and at least you know,
Speaker 3: the best thing you can do a lot of times
Speaker 3: is to part ways.
Speaker 1: And so I know what you're saying, Yes, that there
Speaker 1: are relationships that all of us have had have ended
Speaker 1: that we know we're in a better place for it.
Speaker 1: It's still in the moment. Sucks and it's hard and
Speaker 1: it hurts, and and Rachel are going through and I
Speaker 1: to have to. I'm sure some planning went into that statement.
Speaker 1: When to put it out, how to draft it. I'm
Speaker 1: sure they come to some came to some agreement about
Speaker 1: the statement and what it was going to say, and
Speaker 1: who was going to put it out. And I think
Speaker 1: you said, she has not right. She put something out,
Speaker 1: but she didn't know that was months ago. A month.
Speaker 3: The last anything that Rachel has put on social media
Speaker 3: as far as I can tell, was Instagram on December fifth,
Speaker 3: which was Matt's birthday, and it was a loving, glowing
Speaker 3: I read it earlier account of their relationship and her
Speaker 3: excitement for what was yet to come. And so we
Speaker 3: have not heard from her at all, and maybe we will.
Speaker 2: Maybe we won't.
Speaker 3: I can only speak from the experience that I've had,
Speaker 3: and they're going to need some time, and.
Speaker 2: They're going to be getting a.
Speaker 3: Lot of calls, a lot of texts, and probably unfortunately
Speaker 3: a lot of paparazzi surrounding them once you make an
Speaker 3: announcement like this. They obviously had to prepare to probably
Speaker 3: lay very low for a while.
Speaker 1: And I hope so, because that's the last thing you
Speaker 1: need right now. I just hope he's And I mentioned
Speaker 1: what can be done. This is a situation, and I'm
Speaker 1: we've talked about it if you listened on the podcast here.
Speaker 1: But Matt showed up. He was a guy that showed
Speaker 1: up for me when you and I robes first were
Speaker 1: going through our hell of having our relationship exposed before
Speaker 1: we were ready to let everybody know what was going
Speaker 1: on in our personal lives, and it was awful that
Speaker 1: it was some really, really dark days, and Matt was
Speaker 1: one who showed up for me and wouldn't just let
Speaker 1: me ignore his texts. He wouldn't, he wasn't pushy. But
Speaker 1: Matt was one who stayed consistent as a friend through that.
Speaker 1: And he was absolutely the first friend I saw after
Speaker 1: it all went down. They went and met and had
Speaker 1: Mexican had margarite, and I can still remember that lunch
Speaker 1: and where we sat and how it went. But he
Speaker 1: was the first person that I reconnected with and saw
Speaker 1: after it all went down. And so he has, as
Speaker 1: you know, been a guide and a help and somebody
Speaker 1: I leaned on through it all over the past couple
Speaker 1: of years and through that, and now we're all bonded
Speaker 1: in this odd way of public relationship, public scrutiny, and
Speaker 1: we can talk to him, and we've been able to
Speaker 1: over the years in a way I think probably nobody
Speaker 1: else could understand and talk to him in a way
Speaker 1: that we probably don't with anybody else.
Speaker 3: You know what's interesting The first time on a personal
Speaker 3: level that I hung out with Matt James, because we
Speaker 3: have interviewed him, we had interviewed him multiple times for
Speaker 3: his bachelor run on Good Morning America. But I was
Speaker 3: actually just thinking the first time I met him on
Speaker 3: a personal level was with you, TJ. And it was
Speaker 3: one of the very first pictures. He was cropped out.
Speaker 3: And I hate to even mention that publication that took
Speaker 3: our pictures. Yeah, but I won't.
Speaker 2: I won't mention.
Speaker 3: But he was with us when they made it seem
Speaker 3: like we were having some romantic meeting a nearby watering
Speaker 3: hole Good Morning America. I actually I forgot you know
Speaker 3: what I it was you and Matt were planning to
Speaker 3: meet there. It's a little little Irish pub next to
Speaker 3: the studios. You and Matt actually had plans to hang out,
Speaker 3: and I believe I crashed your party. I was like, hey,
Speaker 3: I have some time to kill can I can I
Speaker 3: show up too? So I think y'all had some time
Speaker 3: by yourselves first, and then I was like.
Speaker 2: Hey, it's me.
Speaker 3: And so the three of us had the best time
Speaker 3: sitting at that corner, right at the bar there, and
Speaker 3: the whole time there had been a photographer there that
Speaker 3: we were completely unaware of that was taking our pictures
Speaker 3: and failed to mention the fact that it was actually
Speaker 3: a date with you and Matt.
Speaker 2: You know what that is.
Speaker 1: So remember that I know exactly what you're talking about now.
Speaker 1: But that picture was used against us to show, hey,
Speaker 1: look at these two having their little Rondevus and whatnot.
Speaker 1: That picture was taken after Matt left five minutes earlier
Speaker 1: because he had somewhere to be, and we were about that.
Speaker 1: We were there for about two hours yep. An hour
Speaker 1: and fifty five of it was with Matt James, and
Speaker 1: they only put the pictures up were us leaving, just
Speaker 1: the two of us.
Speaker 3: And I forgot about that, and we had a laugh
Speaker 3: with Matt about it afterwards when it all came out
Speaker 3: when we were able to laugh, which took quite a while.
Speaker 1: It look they cut you out.
Speaker 3: I mentioned you were there the entire time, but they'll
Speaker 3: make it look like something else, of course.
Speaker 2: So yeah, but we bonded over all of that.
Speaker 3: You know, being in that sort of that lens of
Speaker 3: scrutiny constantly and the truth being completely manipulated, which happened
Speaker 3: to us obviously quite often and to anyone who's in
Speaker 3: the public eye. But he definitely was a part of
Speaker 3: all of that, and we talked about it immensely, and
Speaker 3: I just feel for him because we both know, and
Speaker 3: he knows, and Rachel knows that the next couple of
Speaker 3: days and weeks are probably going to be pretty rough,
Speaker 3: not just personally but publicly.
Speaker 1: That you have to consider that is knowing what they're
Speaker 1: going through with the breakup, just thinking the other part
Speaker 1: that we know they're having to go through is just
Speaker 1: it's unfortunate. And Rachel is a I told you that
Speaker 1: I've only been around her twice. I think once was
Speaker 1: a wild fun night. It was his book release party.
Speaker 3: Left You left, actually a gathering that I was at
Speaker 3: to go hang out with them. I remember it very
Speaker 3: very long. Yes, I was trying to get you to stay.
Speaker 3: You're like, I got a place to be.
Speaker 1: So it was a book launch party, and I mean
Speaker 1: so that was I had been covering her and that
Speaker 1: story about the bachelor and the breakup and the controversy
Speaker 1: for so long that that was the first time. And
Speaker 1: she is delightful, She's sweet, she's bubbly, she's sincere. I
Speaker 1: found her to be. I owe her at Martini. I've
Speaker 1: been telling her I was gonna make her a Vesper
Speaker 1: for the long time. He's a Martini girl. But it
Speaker 1: was to see them and to see her and to
Speaker 1: see them at peace was really really great.
Speaker 2: And look, this.
Speaker 1: Could be the best thing for everybody else. Yeah, they're
Speaker 1: great things ahead. Who knows where their lives might end
Speaker 1: up down the road. Who knows this the very very
Speaker 1: end or just the end for now? We don't know that.
Speaker 1: But it's hard in this moment to think that somebody's
Speaker 1: better off after a relationship. We both know how that
Speaker 1: turns out, and oftentimes, and more often than not, I
Speaker 1: would even argue it ends up being for the best.
Speaker 1: But when you're sitting in our position, all of our position,
Speaker 1: looking at two people who are young, have their lives ahead,
Speaker 1: who are in love to think that it is ending,
Speaker 1: it's hard to see. Okay, this is probably for the
Speaker 1: best right now. It's just sad and it hurts.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've always taken solace.
Speaker 3: I've had several people say this to me in recent years,
Speaker 3: but it did give me some comfort that there's no
Speaker 3: there shouldn't be any regrets about any relationship, because relationships
Speaker 3: come either for a reason, a season, or a lifetime,
Speaker 3: and they're all of value because they all teach us something.
Speaker 3: We all learn something from every single relationship we've been in,
Speaker 3: whether they were good, bad, or sad, or all of
Speaker 3: the above, a mix of all of the above. We
Speaker 3: learned something from them and we needed them for whatever
Speaker 3: reason at the phase of life we were in. And
Speaker 3: so to not think of something as a waste of
Speaker 3: time or regret, but instead a period of time where
Speaker 3: you needed to learn something and grow from something.
Speaker 2: And perhaps that's what this is.
Speaker 1: It's wild if you were saying, wow, he's just the update,
Speaker 1: or you realize he's thirty three, right, so wow, I
Speaker 1: didn't realize he was that old because he was twenty
Speaker 1: eight when we met. Yeah, right, all of us. He
Speaker 1: was a twenty eight year old on The Bachelor. She
Speaker 1: was a twenty four.
Speaker 3: Years Yeah, they'rey young, young, young, young young young. Look,
Speaker 3: we know we got married at twenty three, but both
Speaker 3: of us, you know, and you know your your wide
Speaker 3: eyed and your your bride eyed and bushy tailed, and look, Matt,
Speaker 3: I never had the opportunity to meet Rachel. It just
Speaker 3: she was always in a different every time we all
Speaker 3: tried to get together, she was always in another state
Speaker 3: or another country. So it was it wasn't for lack
Speaker 3: of trying. She's just a very busy girl, shit with
Speaker 3: the weddings and.
Speaker 2: Her lifestyle brand and just still in Georgia. Yeah she
Speaker 2: was the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she wasn't here any and Matt was living here
Speaker 3: in New York, so it was very easy to hook
Speaker 3: up and with him and see him and oh my gosh,
Speaker 3: I've run into him on the running path on the
Speaker 3: West Side Highway multiple times, multiple times, Like it's so funny.
Speaker 2: You know, it's a it's a big city.
Speaker 3: You could run at any point during the day, and
Speaker 3: it just seemed like we kept syncing up with him.
Speaker 3: It was it was I love I love those run ins,
Speaker 3: and I hope for more. But he is just look
Speaker 3: every one has depth and different sides of their personality.
Speaker 3: But if I could sum up Matt James, it is
Speaker 3: just joy personified. He is such a positive energy and
Speaker 3: spirit about him. And I'm sure that people would say
Speaker 3: the same about Rachel. But I just I know he's
Speaker 3: going to be okay, and I know that he wouldn't
Speaker 3: have Neither one of them would have made this decision lightly,
Speaker 3: and he certainly wouldn't have gone to Instagram to announce
Speaker 3: a breakup if it wasn't something that had been long
Speaker 3: considered and thought out. I mean, they both know this
Speaker 3: isn't something that they could just like, oh we're on,
Speaker 3: we're off, or on or off. That's not I don't
Speaker 3: believe that's who they are or who he is necessarily.
Speaker 3: But I hope that this is a beginning. I mean,
Speaker 3: I guess you have to have an end to have
Speaker 3: a beginning, and I hope this soon becomes a beginning
Speaker 3: a new beginning for them.
Speaker 1: But folks, if you if you do have the urge
Speaker 1: to speak, to say something, to type something on social
Speaker 1: media today about Matt and Rachel, about anybody you know,
Speaker 1: take a chance to maybe give them a virtual hug
Speaker 1: if you can that will peel. Be plenty of people
Speaker 1: out there already talking about I knew anyway, I told
Speaker 1: you so it wasn't real, and then want to bring
Speaker 1: up the controversy in a negative way and take some
Speaker 1: type of shot. Just resist the urge to do so. Today,
Speaker 1: some folks who are very near and dear to us
Speaker 1: and we consider very very good people that are worth
Speaker 1: rooting for, are hurting right now, and we will check
Speaker 1: on them. But if you're able to in your own way,
Speaker 1: support them, support somebody today instead of tearing them down
Speaker 1: when they're having a bad moment, take an opportunity to
Speaker 1: do so.
Speaker 2: I love that. What's the first thing we're going to do?
Speaker 2: You tease that before we went into the break.
Speaker 1: Well done it already picking up the phone today And
Speaker 1: it's what he did and so many other people did
Speaker 1: for me, which is just checking on you. We're here.
Speaker 1: Don't expect a response back, don't need a response back.
Speaker 1: Just need you to know that we are thinking about
Speaker 1: you and we are here. And sometimes that's all it takes.
Speaker 1: Because I can test that that message coming my way
Speaker 1: from several people when we were going through a bit
Speaker 1: of our hell was valuable. So that's the extent of
Speaker 1: it today. And I don't need to harass or chase
Speaker 1: them down or anything else, but just he needs to
Speaker 1: know that we're here, and I hope a lot of
Speaker 1: you out there that's all sometimes somebody needs. So we
Speaker 1: appreciate you taking some time and listening and engaging with
Speaker 1: us on a relationship that has been in the headline
Speaker 1: for a long long time. And it's going to be
Speaker 1: a lot of headlines out there in the coming days
Speaker 1: as well. So my love, Amy Roboc, let me declare
Speaker 1: here publicly that I love you and we are still
Speaker 1: going strong, and I still want to marry you. And
Speaker 1: so the headlines next week about us will come to
Speaker 1: the shop to people.
Speaker 2: No no, no, no no.
Speaker 3: I love you too, and I want to marry you,
Speaker 3: and I love what you just said. I think that
Speaker 3: we can take these moments and we can be sad,
Speaker 3: but we can also have that serve as a reminder
Speaker 3: to be kind, because, as you always say, Tej, everybody
Speaker 3: is going through something. We're just more aware of it
Speaker 3: about others sometimes because of the public nature of this world.
Speaker 3: But just keep that in mind as you go about
Speaker 3: your day to day. I love that, and this is
Speaker 3: said in a special moment, to remember that