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Speaker 1: The nick Yes, NICKI Yes, my best friends voices back

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Speaker 1: to back on your Marina with our theme song Noah

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Speaker 1: with Here's Nikki, which sounds the same every time you

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Speaker 1: say it, Like I would get so nervous if I

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Speaker 1: had to go, like sometimes when I have to do

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Speaker 1: voiceover for certain things, if I did the first time

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Speaker 1: I did, it is always the worst, Like I have

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Speaker 1: to go, like I'm doing Dave Matthews Band Radio voice

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Speaker 1: over later, let me look at it real quick. So

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Speaker 1: if you don't know, listener, Hello, by the way, welcome

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Speaker 1: to this week of shows on the Nicki Glazer Podcast.

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Speaker 1: So glad to have you listening. I'm the voice of

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Speaker 1: Dave Matthews Band Radio on Serious x SUM Channel thirty.

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Speaker 1: If you are interested, um and so oh, this is

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Speaker 1: one where so I have to give this to them later.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting paid like one dollar for this. I don't

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Speaker 1: even know. I do it a it's a it's a

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Speaker 1: labor of love and hopefully someday I can say to

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Speaker 1: Dave like, hey, I didn't you know. This is just

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Speaker 1: because I love Dave so much, so I have to

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Speaker 1: do my voice on Dave Matthews Man Radio is like

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Speaker 1: it's it's supposed to be like a little like salt,

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Speaker 1: like more radio. So it's like I have to say,

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Speaker 1: like when Dave Matthew, when the Dave Matthews Band returns

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Speaker 1: to the stage for the first time this summer, you'll

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Speaker 1: hear it live and see the first time I did

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Speaker 1: that not good. It's like it's fine. But if I

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Speaker 1: had to say, here's Nikki, I would have to like

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Speaker 1: practice it so much? Do you practice it? Do you

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Speaker 1: warm up to do vocal exercises before you hear Nicky?

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Speaker 1: Because sometimes I would be like here, like imun yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, do you get nervous every time you do it? I?

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Speaker 1: I do get a little bit of butterflies. And because

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Speaker 1: that's okay, I don't want to sound like, uh, you

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Speaker 1: know from from the Shy Name Jack, what does he say, Johnny,

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Speaker 1: here's Janny. Oh my god, that's so well. Oh. I

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Speaker 1: almost said, that's what That's what Ed McMahon said about

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Speaker 1: Johnny Carson. And then I now realized that's what they

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Speaker 1: were referencing in the movie. So it's not that I

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Speaker 1: was like, Wow, what a coincidence. Um No, that's like

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Speaker 1: the point of it. I've never seen that movie, but

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Speaker 1: I do know all the references. I think, Um, well,

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Speaker 1: you do it great every single time. It always sounds

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Speaker 1: the same. Wait, let me try to do the best

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Speaker 1: impression of you. He wait, there's too much husk. He

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Speaker 1: I have to be up at He's Nikki. Wait that

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Speaker 1: wasn't good. Um So this weekend, speaking of voice stuff,

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Speaker 1: I was um. I was in uh Waterloo, New York,

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Speaker 1: flew into Syracuse, drove um east another hour, and then

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Speaker 1: landed at the Dell logo, which Andrew Becks to age

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Speaker 1: joked that it was Del Taco and I go, you

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Speaker 1: should say that, and he goes, I go, I'm so

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Speaker 1: jealous that you thought of that, because that's a funny opener.

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Speaker 1: And he goes, no, you can have it. And that's

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Speaker 1: a that's a good opener. That is the best. A

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Speaker 1: great opener is talking about how Del Lago sounds like

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Speaker 1: Del Taco. And the best opener is a guy that

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Speaker 1: opens for you, who will give you that stupid joke,

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Speaker 1: not I mean dumb, but funny because I said, I

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Speaker 1: love this Del Taco themed casino. Uh, I already have

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Speaker 1: gotten diarrhea twice, so it's really fitting. Um, I go,

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Speaker 1: the slots aren't the only things that are loose here.

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Speaker 1: So I made a loose stool joke right out of

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Speaker 1: the gate. I don't even know if it was out

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Speaker 1: of the gate, right out of the gate. I let

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Speaker 1: me just say, you guys know how nervous I was

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Speaker 1: about the show at Del Lago last week. UM. I

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Speaker 1: even told them on stage that's my new thing, just

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Speaker 1: be honest. And I apologized probably thirty times during my

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Speaker 1: set for um not being as sharp as I usually am,

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Speaker 1: explaining to them, you know how you guys are when

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Speaker 1: you got back to the office after COVID, that's gonna

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Speaker 1: be kind of what I am like. I don't even

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Speaker 1: remember how to clock in here or how to wear pants.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't wearing pants either. That was another thing. I

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Speaker 1: was wearing a blazer as a dress because I just

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Speaker 1: for this tour. I realized I don't have to dress.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing theater tours I need. I can wear whatever

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Speaker 1: I want. I want to dress like a pop star. Um.

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Speaker 1: And so I had an outfit change because prior to

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Speaker 1: the show, thirty minutes before forty minutes let's say before,

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Speaker 1: we had to be downstairs to go over our dance

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Speaker 1: because we decided to do the dance again that we

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Speaker 1: closed the last special with or last tour with the

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Speaker 1: Banging Out Tour, which is my tour that got canceled

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Speaker 1: about eleven shows in. We would always close with a

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Speaker 1: dance uh for literally no reason, like there's no like,

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Speaker 1: there wasn't any like and you know what, and that

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Speaker 1: like my closer wasn't like so that's why everyone should

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Speaker 1: dance hit it. It would literally be me being like,

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Speaker 1: so that's why I ate ass okay now Anya, and

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Speaker 1: we're gonna come back to dance with to Taylor Swift.

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Speaker 1: There's no rhyme or reason. It's totally nonsequitur, but it's

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Speaker 1: still fun and the audience is confused. Some of them

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Speaker 1: are like getting up to leave because I've been talking

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Speaker 1: for a hundred and twenty minutes, um or No. I

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Speaker 1: actually was an hour and twenty minutes that I did

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Speaker 1: on Saturday, which exceeds the hour that I thought I

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Speaker 1: wasn't able to do, but twenty minutes. The last twenty

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Speaker 1: minutes of that was me scrambling to come up with

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Speaker 1: a good enough closer to get off with. Because if

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Speaker 1: you're not a comedian out there, part of being a

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Speaker 1: comic is closing strong because the audience psychology uh suggests

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Speaker 1: not suggests like has proven that when people remember things, no,

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Speaker 1: you probably remember this, uh just from reading so many

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Speaker 1: books that you read that people remember the first thing,

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Speaker 1: the last thing, but they don't really remember anything in between.

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Speaker 1: And people definitely don't remember the things that are funniest

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Speaker 1: remember the things that make the most uncomfortable. So when

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Speaker 1: you leave a comedy show and this isn't just you, bestie,

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Speaker 1: this is me too, or a TV show or any

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Speaker 1: kind of show, you might remember the first thing, Oh,

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Speaker 1: how they came out, you remember how they close. You

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Speaker 1: will not. Oftentimes people come up to me and this

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Speaker 1: isn't often, this is every time. This is my parents.

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Speaker 1: This goes from my parents and my best friends to

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Speaker 1: my biggest fans. They go, oh my god, I laughed

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Speaker 1: so much. I can't remember any of the things I

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Speaker 1: laughed at, like the my favorite parts. And my ex

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Speaker 1: boyfriend who used to come to my shows and take

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Speaker 1: notes for me to, you know, tell me when we

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Speaker 1: were gearing up from my special he would come and

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Speaker 1: um watch me to be like, Okay, we need to

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Speaker 1: work on you need to work on this. Anyone who's

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Speaker 1: ever done that for me, I go, you have to

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Speaker 1: write it down because you will not remember what you liked,

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Speaker 1: You will not remember the but you will remember the

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Speaker 1: parts that need help. Because as a species, I think

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Speaker 1: it's based the evolutionary psychology of it is that we

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Speaker 1: when we were you know, living in the willderness, we

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Speaker 1: needed to remember berries that made us barf and have diarrhea,

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Speaker 1: like we were staying at the Dell logo del Taco

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Speaker 1: um Casino. We needed to remember that stuff. So oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't eat those berries again, so I survive. Whereas

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Speaker 1: things that make you laugh and feel good, there's not

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Speaker 1: a need to really remember them and store them in

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Speaker 1: your brain because you'll be naturally drawn to those things anyway.

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Speaker 1: So it's not so much a memory. It's just like

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Speaker 1: your brain is just like, okay, we don't need to

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Speaker 1: It's just not as important. So that's why when you

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Speaker 1: go to a comedy show, you can't, for the life

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Speaker 1: of you remember the parts where you were falling off

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Speaker 1: your chair laughing, because your brain goes just relax. You

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Speaker 1: don't need to store this away. We're not gonna take

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Speaker 1: energy away from this, you know, we have so much

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Speaker 1: energy to survive. We need to spend brain power on

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Speaker 1: things that will keep us alive from harm. So that's

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Speaker 1: why you remember, Oh my god, that sucked. I should

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Speaker 1: explain this during my show because it is interesting and

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Speaker 1: it might force people to try to remember the good times.

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Speaker 1: Because I think when you are when something's brought to

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Speaker 1: your tension that you makes you uncomfortable, or like, when

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Speaker 1: something's uh like this has brought to your attension, you

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Speaker 1: can almost hack it. You go, Okay, well, I don't

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Speaker 1: want that to happen, so I am gonna I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: write it down. You could even write the word in

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Speaker 1: your phone just so you remember it to tell your

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Speaker 1: friends the next day. But truly, if you go to

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Speaker 1: my show, I won't have a problem with you writing

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Speaker 1: things down because you won't remember it otherwise. Um. But

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Speaker 1: I so at the end of the show, Noah, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I've already burned the closer I was going to close with,

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Speaker 1: like my new favorite joke that just always works. I

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Speaker 1: like accidentally got into it too soon as I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, God, damn it, Nikki, you're ruining the

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Speaker 1: thing that you saved for the ends so that they

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Speaker 1: you know you got out a high note, and then

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Speaker 1: they were they were so nice though this there's twenty

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Speaker 1: four people I'm not used to. I got a little

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Speaker 1: bit more famous over covid a lot more, I would say,

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Speaker 1: and which means, you know, more people are coming to

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Speaker 1: see me so the shows and plus people are just

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Speaker 1: so excited about entertainment again that I am. I am

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Speaker 1: living the best time of my career. Like, if it

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Speaker 1: doesn't get better than this, I will be totally okay

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Speaker 1: with it, because I was so just blessed on Saturday

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Speaker 1: night to see a room, a sold out room, and granted,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure some of the a lot of these people

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Speaker 1: were just like I'll go see anything because this is

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Speaker 1: the first show that this place had put on in

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Speaker 1: a while. The casino was thrilled there, like this is

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Speaker 1: the first live event we've had um in, you know,

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Speaker 1: since covid um. Also, Anya noted that it was sixteen

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Speaker 1: months to the date almost since we had performed together

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Speaker 1: with this tour, and that's a long time to not

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Speaker 1: do a theater because theaters are different beasts. Anyway, what

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to say is I was very very touched

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Speaker 1: by how many besties were there. I said, right out

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Speaker 1: of the gate. I brought up Andrew. I'll get to

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Speaker 1: it a second, but I was out on stage before

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Speaker 1: I did my set because I UM, I came out

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Speaker 1: for a special guest appearance with Anya's set. Anya opens

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Speaker 1: the show. She does three songs. The third song is

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Speaker 1: the Man by Taylor Swift, and she was in my

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Speaker 1: uh but wait, I just want to say finished. I

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Speaker 1: thought I did say at one point, I go, your

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Speaker 1: next performer is my co host on my daily podcast

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Speaker 1: called The Niculator Podcast. Do we have besties in the house?

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Speaker 1: And there were probably like a couple hundred out of

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Speaker 1: two people or um, which was usually when you do

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Speaker 1: that and you go, who's here to see me? From this,

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Speaker 1: it's usually like the smattering is a chance for me

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Speaker 1: to go, okay, well thanks, but no, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: a it's a chance for you to make a joke

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Speaker 1: and get a huge laugh of like, wow, twenty people.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't even make that joke because it was so many.

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Speaker 1: I'm so grateful how many besties were there, how many

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Speaker 1: of you I got to meet in the meet and

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Speaker 1: greet afterwards. Shout out to Tori, Shout out to Angela,

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Speaker 1: Shout out to a couple other girls. That one girl

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Speaker 1: who looked like me. I think that was Tori. There

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Speaker 1: was another Tory too in a yellow dress. Hello Tory.

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Speaker 1: Angela was lovely. So many besties I got to meet,

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Speaker 1: um and just like girls that I have to say,

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Speaker 1: most of the time, it was girls UM who just

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Speaker 1: walked up and I instantly knew that they have a

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Speaker 1: love for me that I have for them, or that

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Speaker 1: I have for my best friends, you know, like it

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Speaker 1: was mutual. Let me just tell you it was all mutual.

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Speaker 1: And if you listen to this podcast regularly, I love

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Speaker 1: you so much and I thank you for being my

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Speaker 1: friend and listening to me and um and taking everything

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Speaker 1: I say with a grain of salt and not uh

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Speaker 1: and also just trusting me. I love it. So it's

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Speaker 1: so cool to meet you guys. So long story short

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Speaker 1: on you comes to my room forty minutes before we

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Speaker 1: go down to work on our dance that we haven't

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Speaker 1: done in sixteen months. Anya's in my room. I'm putting

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Speaker 1: together an outfit to wear and she's practicing, and she's like,

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Speaker 1: what song should I do? Because she can just do

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Speaker 1: She's like me, she can just pull out of a

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Speaker 1: hat and do whatever. She doesn't need to really warm

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Speaker 1: up that much. And then it was like she starts

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Speaker 1: playing the Man and I go, we should do it

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Speaker 1: at some point, and I picked up my guitar and

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Speaker 1: I was like, this is how I would do it,

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Speaker 1: because I was doing kind of like I do the

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Speaker 1: version that Taylor Swift does on um her Tiny Desk concert,

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Speaker 1: and it's more like to like it's like that, and

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Speaker 1: Anya's is more if you you got to download the

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Speaker 1: cover of the Man on your Marina on Spotify, It's

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Speaker 1: like I would be complex, I would be cool. It's

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Speaker 1: like very smooth, whereas Taylor's version is like I would

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Speaker 1: be complex, I would be cool. So Anya's is like

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Speaker 1: a sultry sexy version and I was playing it and

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Speaker 1: she was like, it'd be cool if maybe you sang

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Speaker 1: with me. Because Matt, her boyfriend, who was my tour

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Speaker 1: manager co tour manager, he had suggested I come out

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Speaker 1: and sing with her, but we didn't know how that

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Speaker 1: would work with me coming out before my set, and

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Speaker 1: I go, no, that'd be so fun. So at there's

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Speaker 1: there's this part that Anya in her version usually skips

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Speaker 1: of the song the Man. It's like, um uh, it's

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Speaker 1: the bridge, it's like Somethingdada flashing my dollars. I'd be

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Speaker 1: a bitch, not up bother. And I was singing along

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Speaker 1: with her as she was warming up on the song

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Speaker 1: and I was doing my makeup, and then I I

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Speaker 1: did the bridge forgetting that she skips it and she

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Speaker 1: was like, actually that sounds good. What if you came

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Speaker 1: out during that part? So it's so fun. So Aandya

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Speaker 1: does the whole song. There's no like the audience doesn't

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Speaker 1: even know I'm gonna come out. And she's like doing

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Speaker 1: her third song and they're like so vibing on it.

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Speaker 1: It's just such a mellow, like great song. And she

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Speaker 1: sets it up like Nicki's obsessed with Taylor Swift. She

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Speaker 1: got me in this song against my will. I loved

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Speaker 1: it so much I covered it. Here it is and

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Speaker 1: then she goes, uh, I forget what the start? She

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Speaker 1: said something like what if I was something like that?

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Speaker 1: And then I just walk on stage with the bike

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Speaker 1: and I'm like fleshing the dollars and then the audience

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Speaker 1: like like just lit up. It was so fun. And

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Speaker 1: I had a big old electric guitar a les Paul

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Speaker 1: Gibson around my neck because I I don't know. I'm

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Speaker 1: did no. I can't believe Noah, what you're about to

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Speaker 1: tell people. I don't know. I mean I put on

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Speaker 1: my Instagram. But so I show up. So Nanya and

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Speaker 1: I work out the whole thing we got. We all

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Speaker 1: walk as a group. Me my assistant Jen, who is

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Speaker 1: like amazing and I love her so much. Shoutout to Jen.

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Speaker 1: You guys will get to know where Yes, yes, isn't

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Speaker 1: she best? I have the best team. Matt On his

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Speaker 1: boyfriend Matt Pond p A, who is also a musician

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Speaker 1: who's one of my favorite songs of all time is

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Speaker 1: called Still Summer by Matt Pond p A. He's honestly,

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Speaker 1: he's has a huge following in his a fucking genius

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Speaker 1: musician just as good as like On in him. Are

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Speaker 1: there like a power couple of music. But Matt Pond

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Speaker 1: is my tour manager because he's been touring forever as

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Speaker 1: a musician and is killing it. So he um and

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Speaker 1: and knows just exactly how to do these kinds of rooms.

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Speaker 1: So he and Jen are my co tour managers. Anya Andrew,

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Speaker 1: we're all on the way there. We get in the

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Speaker 1: green room. I'm just kind of like eating things and

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Speaker 1: walking around and kind of looking at my set, and

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, Andrew walks in with the casino

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Speaker 1: owner got like, not owners, but the guys that are

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Speaker 1: like the talent management, like the upper management. Three guys

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Speaker 1: in suits, one of which is named Jason. Shout out

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Speaker 1: to Jason. I love you so much, Jason. I have

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Speaker 1: other things to say about Jason too. It will be

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Speaker 1: so funny. So Jason walks in and he is carrying

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Speaker 1: a guitar, which I already brought my guitar just to

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Speaker 1: play backstage. I wasn't gonna play. He's carrying a guitar case,

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Speaker 1: and Andrew is in front of him with a golf

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Speaker 1: club with a bow on it, and I go, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, like Andrew got a golf club from and

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Speaker 1: he goes, You're not gonna believe, and I go, no, no,

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Speaker 1: they give They set down this this guitar case, and

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Speaker 1: they're like, we are just so excited to have you

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Speaker 1: your first act back after COVID. So this if you

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Speaker 1: go to Delago to perform any people, you might not

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Speaker 1: get a guitar. I almost didn't want to talk about

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Speaker 1: it because I don't want this place to always have

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Speaker 1: to give people things like this, because I realized this

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Speaker 1: is order to give me gifts like that, Like I

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Speaker 1: don't I mean, if you want to give me a guitar.

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Speaker 1: Every time casinos have a lot of money, let me

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Speaker 1: just say this is a thing that they probably have

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Speaker 1: money set aside for talent to uh to spend on talent.

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Speaker 1: But this was usually they would just give you fucking

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Speaker 1: something you don't even want. They Jason researched us each, Anya, me,

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Speaker 1: and Andrew to see what we're obsessed with. Anya. He

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Speaker 1: noticed that she hikes a lot. They definitely had different

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Speaker 1: price points for us. She got her really nice backpack

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Speaker 1: with uh, you know, portable dog bowls and like a

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Speaker 1: canteen and like, you know, a couple of hundred dollar

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Speaker 1: gift for my opener. And then Andrew, they got him like,

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Speaker 1: uh four club putter that he like loves, you know,

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Speaker 1: andrews obsessed with golf, and they brought in a guitar.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what to fucking expect. I don't.

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Speaker 1: I am uncomfortable with gifts like this, especially when I

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Speaker 1: am about to do an act that I'm nervous about.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know if I can give them what

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Speaker 1: they deserve, uh, in terms of like this whole show,

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Speaker 1: and they gave me. I opened it up. It's a

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Speaker 1: brand new Gibson Les Paul, which is you know, he's

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Speaker 1: like the creator of the modern electric guitar as we

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Speaker 1: know it UM beautiful. Like I can't even like, I

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Speaker 1: haven't even googled the price of it. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to know. It's just too much. I love this guitar

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Speaker 1: so much. It is a piece of art. I haven't

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Speaker 1: been able to play it um because I don't have

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Speaker 1: an AMP, but I've played it like in my room

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Speaker 1: later that night, just without the which is actually electric

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Speaker 1: guitars are great to practice on when you're in hotels

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Speaker 1: or small apartments with neighbors without the amp because you

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Speaker 1: can hear it enough, but it's not gonna I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is actually a perfect guitar to practice on. So

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Speaker 1: they gave me this guitar and I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna wear it on stage when I walk out. I'm

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Speaker 1: not even gonna play it. I'm just playing. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: hold the mic and just wear it as a necklace

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Speaker 1: because it's the best piece of jewelry I've ever had

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Speaker 1: no What do you know about Les Paul? What do

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Speaker 1: you know about the guitar that I got? What? How

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Speaker 1: are you? What do you feel? I felt undeserving because

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Speaker 1: Matt and Anya are the best guitar like great guitarists,

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Speaker 1: and I'm opening this guitar as like someone who can

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Speaker 1: play like you know, uh, I just feel like I

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Speaker 1: was gonna make a joke of like I can barely

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Speaker 1: play Happy Birthday, but I don't even know that I

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Speaker 1: could play Happy Birthday on the guitar, like it's my

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Speaker 1: f chords are still buzzy. I don't know bar chords.

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Speaker 1: I don't know any music theory. I am such a novel.

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Speaker 1: It's a great encouragement for you to get to the

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Speaker 1: point where you can, like shred on that thing on stage.

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Speaker 1: I'm I don't know that I ever want to shred?

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Speaker 1: Can I just say that? Like I as a comedian,

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Speaker 1: I have reached a point where I don't really want

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Speaker 1: to Well, actually there, I'm unstoppable as a comedian. I

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Speaker 1: could do anything, but there's certain types of comedy that

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Speaker 1: I don't Oh, here's here's an example. I don't care

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Speaker 1: if I ever am in movies and TV shows. If

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Speaker 1: that doesn't happen for me, It's not like a goal,

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Speaker 1: like it'd be nice, it'd be fun to be asked

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Speaker 1: to do a movie. I don't want to write a movie.

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Speaker 1: It's just too much work that might not see the

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Speaker 1: light of day, and I have other stuff going on

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Speaker 1: that it can instantly see the live day. I'd rather

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Speaker 1: do podcasts every day than spend writing a movie that

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Speaker 1: might not get made. Um, but if it happened, I'd

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Speaker 1: be great. Same with shredding, like I just want to

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Speaker 1: I like singer songwriter, acoustic voice like that is what

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Speaker 1: I want, and it's just too too many digging like

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Speaker 1: I can't. I'm not seeing for you to get there.

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00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 1: I'm just seeing for you to have a goal that

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Speaker 1: you pursue so you constantly work hard at it. You're right,

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00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,880
Speaker 1: You're right. I always need a goal. You're right, I am.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say thank you so much to

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Speaker 1: the dell Ago casino for using the money that you, um,

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Speaker 1: don't scam people out of. But let's be honest, casinos

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Speaker 1: always win and uh they are cash cows, and UM,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad people enjoy gambling, but you guys are it's

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Speaker 1: kind of criminal, how much money you get from people,

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Speaker 1: and how you can facilitate addictions. However, I am grateful

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Speaker 1: to be working at you and people enjoy being at you.

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Speaker 1: Delago Casino is awesome, like such a if you live

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Speaker 1: in that area. I stayed at an amazing hotel in

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Speaker 1: the casino. I really recommend doing like a staycation there. Um.

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Speaker 1: They have great entertainment. The theater was gorgeous. I want

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Speaker 1: to shoot a special there someday. I was blown away

403
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 1: and the staff, everyone from the every crew member was

404
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 1: laughing and joining the show. Told me like secrets about

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00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,919
Speaker 1: you know one one stage manager guy, I'm not going

406
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 1: to blow up your spot too, but you were cool

407
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 1: as fuck. And you told me afterwards like what celebrities

408
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Speaker 1: are not cool and which ones are that you've were with.

409
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,439
Speaker 1: There's a couple of people that won't let you make

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00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 1: eye contact with them, and they are who you think

411
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 1: and one who you don't think. Um, The Rolling Stones

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00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 1: required evy on that the hot tubs at an arena

413
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Speaker 1: be filled with Evan at the Buffalo Bill stav Stadium,

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Speaker 1: ev On and and there had to be like, you know,

415
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 1: assistance pouring Evan bottles into a hot tub I don't

416
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 1: know when that happened, but that's a true story that

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Speaker 1: I enjoyed. Um, everyone was so nice. Jason helps me not.

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Speaker 1: He was the one that researched me and gave me

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Speaker 1: the guitar. I gotta go, I gotta bring Andrew on.

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Speaker 1: He uh. I'll finished the story when we get Andrew in. Andrew. Hey, Andrew, Hey, Hey,

421
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:45,080
Speaker 1: who's going. I'm good? How are you holding down the fort? Good?

422
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,199
Speaker 1: You're back in St. Louis at our place. Sorry, I

423
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 1: forgot the cleaning lady was coming this morning. I meant

424
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Speaker 1: to cancel her yesterday and then I slept all day yesterday,

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Speaker 1: literally all day, and forgot about everything. Yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: wildly until about four frey minutes ago. You did too. Yeah,

427
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,679
Speaker 1: and I was like yeah, I was like having like

428
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was so out of it yesterday

429
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 1: and then I texted you and you didn't text me back,

430
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,199
Speaker 1: and then you wrote sometime my Instagram and I'm like,

431
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 1: she's mad at me. I had like all these like dude,

432
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I wasn't mad at you. It was also

433
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,360
Speaker 1: you did right. You were so sweet. You wrote how

434
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 1: you doing and I never wrote back to it. I

435
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,199
Speaker 1: because I when I woke up, I saw it, and

436
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 1: then I go, oh, I'm gonna get back to that.

437
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 1: You know, when you think you're gonna get back to it,

438
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 1: and then you get all these texts about urgent things

439
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 1: you have to do for work, and then you don't

440
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 1: get back to your friend Andrew, who's checking in on you. Um,

441
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 1: how were you doing yesterday? I was just a complete zombie.

442
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,360
Speaker 1: I mean, we had one hour's sleep. It was literally

443
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 1: one of the best times in my life though Saturday night.

444
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 1: Saturday night, I was just going through the show. We

445
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 1: we but we had a flight at six am, and

446
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,720
Speaker 1: which was an hour away, so we had a four

447
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 1: am leave time call. And then I didn't get to

448
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: sleep until three fift so I had four five minute

449
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 1: nap and then at two flights, I slept on both

450
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:06,640
Speaker 1: of them, landed, got to the hotel, slept from eleven

451
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: until three, got a COVID test at three because I'm doing,

452
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 1: um taking a show this week. I went back to

453
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 1: bed at three fifteen, slept until seven, and then went

454
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 1: to bed at eleven. Woke up at eight like I'm

455
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 1: just us and I have had no melotonin, Like I

456
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 1: didn't need any assistance. I am like sleeping, like, I'm

457
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 1: so grateful I'm being able to sleep. Let's just say

458
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: the night before Friday, night before our show, we didn't

459
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 1: get any sleep either because our our car was supposed

460
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 1: to come at five for a seven am flight. Our

461
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,199
Speaker 1: flight was canceled moved to a nine am flight, so

462
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: we woke up at five and didn't and got picked

463
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,679
Speaker 1: up at seven. Did so we did that night, I

464
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 1: only slept four hours, like I went to bed at one,

465
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,399
Speaker 1: so four and then so a four hours sleep, and

466
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,400
Speaker 1: that morning I had to get up for radio at

467
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,119
Speaker 1: seven am, and I went to so I I realized

468
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:01,920
Speaker 1: in three days I was and I realized our listeners

469
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 1: have children and jobs and sleep uh disorders that you

470
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 1: guys are rolling your eyes right now. But a five

471
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: hour night proceeded by a four hour night proceeded by

472
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,120
Speaker 1: a one hour night equals I'm sleeping all Sunday long.

473
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 1: And thank god I don't have kids and and and

474
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 1: you know, responsibilities that I'm grateful I'm able to even

475
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 1: do that. But yeah, you were Zombo. Yeah you know,

476
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 1: I look at you know our No, I just laughed

477
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: at Zombo. Wait, wait did we come up with Zombo?

478
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 1: I've been using Zombo forever. I forget whom. Yeah, it's

479
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 1: just like, oh zombiin like if you're a Zombo, like

480
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:48,159
Speaker 1: you're it's so much funnier than zombie. So let's add Yeah,

481
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 1: you know, we look at we'll have shows on Friday

482
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,400
Speaker 1: night and then we're gonna have a show the next

483
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,479
Speaker 1: Saturday where we're going to have to do exactly this

484
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: and then perform and you have to do an hour

485
00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 1: and twenty I just like I have. We're not gonna

486
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: fly harnessing the energy for the show that. So I

487
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 1: just want to be clear anyone coming to see the shows,

488
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 1: I could do those. They might be wacky the things

489
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,680
Speaker 1: I say, it might be more extreme, but I'll still

490
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,439
Speaker 1: have the energy to do it when I get on

491
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: stage and you just find it. It was also interesting

492
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,719
Speaker 1: because because we did the show on Saturday night and

493
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:28,159
Speaker 1: then flew back Sunday, slept all day, and then I

494
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 1: swear to god, I woke up at like seven pm

495
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 1: yesterday ago did that show? Did that even really because

496
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 1: I woke up on my own bed, like my bed

497
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 1: where I live every day, So it was literally we

498
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,439
Speaker 1: were we were there for like ten hours and I

499
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 1: was moment my life. It was unbelievable, but I don't know,

500
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 1: it was insane. The people there were all so nice

501
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,119
Speaker 1: and so excited to have us. They gave us presents.

502
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 1: I already recovered that I want to talk about Jason

503
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 1: for a second, because I was just about to say

504
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: about Jason. Jason was the guy that like researched us

505
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 1: to find these amazing gifts, because I bet if Jason

506
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,479
Speaker 1: didn't exist, I bet the casino would have given us

507
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 1: something probably we wouldn't have wanted, Like they would have

508
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 1: given me some kind of like Tiffany necklace that I

509
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 1: would have been like, this is so nice, and then

510
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 1: they gave it to my mom to sell an eBay.

511
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,479
Speaker 1: Like the fact that they researched us was so freaking

512
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 1: nice and thoughtful, and it was all Jason and Jason.

513
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 1: If you're listening, which I think you are. Jason also

514
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 1: called his wife. I was trying to figure out a

515
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,919
Speaker 1: line for this joke that I'm working on where I

516
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 1: talked about on first dates. I me at an age

517
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 1: now where on first stage you just want to cut

518
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 1: to the chase, because there's certain deal breakers that we're

519
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 1: not we shouldn't have a second date. We shouldn't even

520
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 1: keep this first date going if that's the case. And

521
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 1: you know, so I'll ask like do you want kids?

522
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: Like how much debt do you have? Um? And then

523
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 1: I wanted a third one that was like a jokey

524
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 1: thing like um the placeholder, which I saw on a

525
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: meme on Reddit, which I would not use because it's

526
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 1: been it's a Reddit thing, but I was. I was

527
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,120
Speaker 1: telling Andrew and any and Matt and all the people backstage.

528
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: This is literally ten minutes before the show started. I go,

529
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 1: I want something that is the same as, um, do

530
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 1: you clap when a plane lands? Like do you know? Deal?

531
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,920
Speaker 1: Like an annoying thing that you'd go, oh, I can't

532
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 1: be with a person that does that. I wanted the

533
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 1: same thing. I couldn't come up with one. Jason's a

534
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 1: cute guy in a suit, and I go, uh, you know,

535
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 1: I just want to chat I always want to chat

536
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: up the handsome guy in a suit. And so I

537
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 1: was just kind of like, what about you, are you

538
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,199
Speaker 1: married or have a girlfriend. That's a good way to

539
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,880
Speaker 1: find out, you know, And he goes, yeah, and uh,

540
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 1: he has like a fucking stunning wife and kids. He's

541
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,679
Speaker 1: of course, and he's got a great job. He does

542
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: a great job at his job. And I go, what

543
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: is what's the one thing your wife would say about

544
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 1: you that's like specific and annoying that maybe I could

545
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,439
Speaker 1: plug in here because I was asking everyone, and he

546
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: called his fucking wife to ask her, and she was

547
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,159
Speaker 1: roasting him. She was so funny. She said, he what

548
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 1: was the last one? She said? That was so good?

549
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: There was something specific about him that really it was

550
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: really good anyway, Yeah, yeah, he's always Yeah, it was

551
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: so funny, Mrs Jason, Oh my god. Yeah, that like

552
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: he just he always has to look so nice anyway, Jason,

553
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 1: and was so cool. And then I just want to

554
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:05,120
Speaker 1: say later on, um, I had some creeps. I had

555
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 1: one creep come up to me at the after party,

556
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 1: which hopefully we'll talk about either on the show or later.

557
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 1: There was an after party at the casino and there

558
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 1: was just a guy that came up that was making

559
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: me uncomfortable. And Jen, my assistant, later on, we were

560
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: talking about we need a code word for when there's

561
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,439
Speaker 1: someone that's making me uncomfortable that we can just like

562
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 1: get out of it. And I said I don't really

563
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 1: need one because I'm so honest because when this guy

564
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 1: sat down and as soon as it got uncomfortable, I go,

565
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 1: I want to leave, and everyone was like, oh what,

566
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm leaving. And then he got he

567
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,400
Speaker 1: understood he wasn't creepy enough that he did. He wasn't

568
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: gonna get up when I announced I was uncomfortable. So

569
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,159
Speaker 1: he goes, Okay, I get it. I'm I'm leaving, and

570
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 1: I was like okay, but I still was like I

571
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 1: still want to go. You're in the building and I

572
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 1: don't like your presence. He was too drunk. He was

573
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: like nervous to talk to me, trying to like hit

574
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: on me. It was weird, um, but we were talking

575
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: and I was like it should be. Uh. I was

576
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: just trying to like roast Jason, who was around. So

577
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:58,959
Speaker 1: we're talking about like what's to the code word being,

578
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 1: I go, what about Jason? Because it's Jason gives me that,

579
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 1: like I go, that would be a good one to have,

580
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,879
Speaker 1: because Jason like embodies everything that is someone that you

581
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:14,159
Speaker 1: don't want a round Friday thirteen, like Jason, like you No.

582
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 1: I was just like basically off this guy that was

583
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,479
Speaker 1: like so no, And I was trying to roast him

584
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,399
Speaker 1: because I thought he heard our conversation about like what

585
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,439
Speaker 1: we're talking about, and he watching and he goes, he

586
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 1: didn't know, and I go, we just came up with

587
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,920
Speaker 1: a new word, and it's Jason, it's based on you

588
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: because you like embody what it's about so much, which

589
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: is obviously I was just like trying to be like

590
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 1: flirty and fun and he was just like okay, and so, um,

591
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:36,359
Speaker 1: we'll probably have to change it now that I just

592
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 1: announced it. But if you're ever talking to me and

593
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 1: my assistant and I go to my assistant, did Jason

594
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: Cole yet? That means get the funk away from me? Okay? Um,

595
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 1: but thank you so much to Delgo. No venue will

596
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 1: maybe ever be as will ever be. It's the best

597
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: gift I've ever gotten. And what were the other guys?

598
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: The other guys, the big guy forget, Yeah, he was

599
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 1: very nice. He yeah at a moment, and he gave

600
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 1: us what chips? That guy let me off pull up

601
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: his name because I can find it. That guy gave

602
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 1: us chips. Uh, get a funny moment with that guy

603
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: because he goes to me, he goes, hey, Andrew, you

604
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 1: you like to play. You you like to bet, you

605
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 1: like to play, and I go, You know, man, I

606
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 1: played in college and I won like two grand the

607
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 1: first time I ever played. And then I got completely

608
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 1: addicted because I made this money. And then I was

609
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: calling my step mom for money. I was calling my

610
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 1: friends for money and and it was really like a

611
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: negative impact on my life. But like, I really enjoyed it,

612
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 1: but I didn't, you know, I stopped playing and he's like, okay,

613
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 1: and then he shows me to chip and I go,

614
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,959
Speaker 1: but hey, I'll play tonight. Though. Yeah, I felt the

615
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 1: same way. That guy gave me five dollar chip and

616
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: then another hundred dollar chip and was like, just go

617
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: have fun. This fucking guy, I love you so much.

618
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 1: I forget his name and I just tried to look

619
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 1: it up on on Jason's Instagram but it wasn't taxed.

620
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 1: So um, shout out to you again, sir, thank you

621
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: so much. And then there was another guy too, there

622
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: was three of them. Um, But what I wanted to

623
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: say about that, I had to say. So I I

624
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: lost my chips and I and I felt so embarrassed

625
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 1: because Jays they had given us to it to us

626
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: and then I'm they're walking us back to our room

627
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: at the end of the night, and I go, I

628
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 1: don't have my chips. I think I left them in

629
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: the green room, and which is just so responsible, at

630
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 1: least six d dollars of chips. And then I was

631
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: thinking about it, and I go, because I am very

632
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 1: uncomfortable with gambling. I don't like it. I don't like

633
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 1: losing money. Part of me was going to put the

634
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 1: six dollars on red or Black Roulette and uh, donate

635
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 1: whatever I want, like the thousand dollars if I doubled it, right,

636
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, I wanted to ask a

637
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: charity that I would give that too. Would you rather

638
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: just get me give you the five dollars, let's not

639
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:51,239
Speaker 1: talk about one's or would you rather me bet and

640
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 1: maybe double it? So that's what I'm gonna do next

641
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 1: time I gamble. I didn't have time this time, and

642
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 1: so I did find the chips, but I realized that

643
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 1: I don't look at chips as money, and that's why

644
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 1: people spend ships more because you don't think of them

645
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 1: as currency. So that's why I just left it. If

646
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: that was five actual money or a check, even checks,

647
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 1: I leave everywhere like I'm I felt so bad, like

648
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 1: I was just being flipping about this amazing gift. They

649
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: gave me enough money that that's what I used to

650
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: get paid for a whole weekend not so long ago,

651
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 1: you know, like eight years ago. That's was what I

652
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 1: got for a seven shows in fucking Kyahoga Falls, Ohio

653
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: at a shitty club. I was telling. I was telling

654
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: because she was worried about money, same thing, and I go,

655
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: this is what you do if you ever get if

656
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: you ever make a decent amount of money, or if

657
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 1: you have a lot of money and chips, go to

658
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: the cashier, get cash out, and then give cash to

659
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 1: the dealer, because then you feel the cash just be

660
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 1: like you're gone, like oh money, It's like monopoly money.

661
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 1: It's like not pond. He also was saying that he

662
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 1: was he was afraid too, because he goes, I once

663
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: lost two thousand dollars and it felt so bad, and

664
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 1: he goes, I've also won a ton, right, which keeps

665
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 1: you going. I thank god I'm someone who because I

666
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: understand gambling addiction is so fucking real. I saw someone

667
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 1: doing scratchers at the Chicago airport yesterday. This guy at

668
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 1: like eight nine in the morning doing scratchers like bent

669
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 1: over like a businessman. I go, oh, that's that's me.

670
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: That's me on my balcony smoking weed out of a pipe,

671
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: like crouched down like an adult woman, acting ridiculous because

672
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: of an addiction. So which I want to get to

673
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 1: it in just a second. So anyway, I um, but

674
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:36,800
Speaker 1: Matt even said it made me so sad to lose

675
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 1: ten two thous and the money I've lost gambling because

676
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: a ball lands on the wrong color. It's just not

677
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: worth it. Like it's it's too sad. I would rather

678
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 1: not risk it. Um. That being said, let me just

679
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 1: really quickly before we get to the news, I have

680
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 1: to ask you something and besties, listen up and please

681
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: give me feedback on this. I want to live my life, honestly,

682
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to be an evil person. I'm staying

683
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 1: at a hotel that vlast hotel I stayed out when

684
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 1: I was here. What I was put up by Bill

685
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: Maher and all the other productions I was here up for.

686
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: It's like nine dollars a night. It's the nicest hotel ever.

687
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: It was so fucking sweet, and I couldn't justify that

688
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 1: cost this time. I'm here for five days. I didn't

689
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: want to spend that much money on a hotel, so

690
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 1: I went on kayak. I found one that was well reviewed,

691
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 1: same neighbor, same vicinity, and I get here. I upgrade

692
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: to a King's Sweet so I can have a balcony

693
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 1: so I can smoke weed on the balcony. Right I

694
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 1: get here, the hotel is a lot of riff raff

695
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 1: in the lobby as soon as I pull up, them

696
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 1: like this ain't the place. It just it's like I

697
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 1: flew first class. Now I'm back in on spirit air. Right.

698
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 1: The hotel room is nice and clean, quiet. I love

699
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: the hotel room. It's great. I have like my own suite.

700
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 1: I have like a depressed um living room with a

701
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 1: depressed woman sitting in it right now. But you know,

702
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: like it steps down to my living room above is.

703
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 1: Let me just show you a scope. I have a

704
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: little kitchen, like that's my living room up there is

705
00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 1: my bedroom, kitchen area, balcony. So I get in. I'm

706
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: checking in and I go it has a balcony, right,

707
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: And he goes, yeah, he goes, here's the places to

708
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: sign and I go great, and he goes just to

709
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: let you know if we catch you if there's this

710
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 1: is for the smoking charts, five fee if we catch

711
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 1: you smoking in the hotel room or the on the balcony.

712
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 1: And I was like, but but well, but you wait.

713
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 1: I go, I got it a balcony because I smoke

714
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 1: weed and that's where I'm going to be smoking. He was,

715
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,800
Speaker 1: we have neighbors and you can't smoke on the balcony.

716
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 1: And I go, that's why I got this place. And

717
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: he was like, I'm sorry, and I already prepaid, so

718
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 1: it was like, already a couple of grand I paid

719
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: for this place ahead of time, and I just go

720
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: charge me the five now because I'm going to be

721
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 1: smoking weed on the balcony. Just do it. And he goes,

722
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: I really appreciate your honesty right now, because so many

723
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: times I've looked people in the eyes and they've said

724
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna smoke, and then I have to knock

725
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 1: on their door and they answer it all high and

726
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,319
Speaker 1: I have to go in and say listen. And he goes,

727
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 1: thank you. And I thought he was just gonna wave

728
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 1: the fee for my honest No, he's still charged me yet,

729
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: which is fine. Well, it does say per occurrence on

730
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: the sign here. If smoking occurs starting to say five,

731
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: fee will be built to your account per occurrence. So

732
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 1: first of all, let me just say this. Yesterday, at

733
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 1: a four am wake up call, went to the airport,

734
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 1: didn't smoke weed all day. I got landed, was not

735
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 1: in the mood to smoke weed. I also didn't take

736
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 1: me a d D meds um. I was depressed all day.

737
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 1: Weed does not. It was not something I wanted to do.

738
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 1: I slept all day. I didn't smoke any weed yesterday,

739
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 1: first day. And I would say many many, many months

740
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,760
Speaker 1: that I did not smoke weed. So I was like, okay,

741
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: that's interesting. Then smoke weed today. Have not smoked weed

742
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,919
Speaker 1: yet almost And then last night I went to dinner

743
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 1: with David Spade. I got back to my place, I

744
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,359
Speaker 1: told him the whole incident of the five and he goes,

745
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: are you smoking weed now on your balcony? And I go, actually,

746
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 1: I think I might try to like quit because of this,

747
00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 1: Like this might get me to quit, because I'm just

748
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 1: not I almost want to be like you. You Actually

749
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 1: I'm not going to I'm not, you know, like just

750
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 1: rub it in. So I didn't smoke with yesterday. I

751
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: haven't spoke weed yet today, which is kind of unprecedented

752
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 1: from actually it's ten am, that's not unprecedented. But I

753
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 1: don't really have plans on it yet today. Who knows.

754
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 1: I'm if I do, I'm not a failure. Um. But

755
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 1: here's here's here's the thing that I want to ask

756
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 1: besties and you guys. I'm in the elevator on the

757
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 1: way down today and I see the elevator. I'm just

758
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: you know, doing some light reading of the elevator certificate,

759
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: you know, and every elevator it says like inspected that DA.

760
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 1: So this elevator has not is past inspection date. It

761
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:44,959
Speaker 1: is Uh. These elevators are operating illegally from the state

762
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 1: of California. The date of inspection was eighteen. The date

763
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 1: the permit expires nineteen. This is almost a year. This

764
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 1: is a year and a half expired. When they do

765
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: when you're not high, here's what I see a chance

766
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 1: to get my entire stay paid for because I can

767
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,359
Speaker 1: blackmail them and say I will report this is state

768
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: of California. Unless you wave not my whole stay, you

769
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: wave my fie or I'm all and every occurrence of

770
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,799
Speaker 1: my weed smoking or I get them to reimburse me

771
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,320
Speaker 1: for the entire stay, and I change hotels to somewhere

772
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: I feel better. Do you think it is indecent of

773
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 1: me to use this information I have for both operating

774
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:35,400
Speaker 1: elevators that are operating illegally their expired permit. Do you

775
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 1: think that is a thing I should use against them

776
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 1: to get my to get not charged for smoking weed

777
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: on my balcony per currents? Or is that? Um? Is

778
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 1: that like not a nice blackmail? I think has a

779
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 1: connotation of negativity the whole time. So like I think

780
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 1: as someone who is a god fearing person wants to

781
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 1: go to it, wants to only always do the right thing.

782
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 1: It's probably not a good idea, But is there a

783
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 1: way to do it where it's not really a bribe?

784
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 1: But they at my gist like, hey, I noticed in

785
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 1: the elevator that your date of inspection is two years

786
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 1: almost two years old? Um? And I also noticed that

787
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: I'm getting charged five per currents of weed. I wonder

788
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: if those two things can both be forgotten about and

789
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 1: not reported, Like, do you can I use it? Here's

790
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: a couple of things I think one they saved you

791
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 1: about thirty dollars I'm going to rehab because you only

792
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 1: paid five to quit. But then that's true, and if

793
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 1: I don't smoke with the whole time, I'm gonna ask

794
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 1: for that five back, by the way. But a number two,

795
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 1: if you smoke on our balcony now in St. Louis,

796
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to baby five. That's just yeah, it's

797
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 1: that's true. It's true. But you also you have an

798
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 1: expired permit of brushing your teeth and it says has

799
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 1: not date date brushing teeth permit expires twenty four hours

800
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 1: if you don't brush your teeth every twenty four hours. Okay,

801
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 1: but this is the thing. I think the problem with

802
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 1: this is just because it doesn't say it on the elevator,

803
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:06,319
Speaker 1: they might go, well, we've had an inspection, we just

804
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: haven't put it up there. First wait for them to

805
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 1: have that response, then bring up the bribe. But the

806
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: fact that they don't have that posted is also a violation,

807
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:23,840
Speaker 1: I would assume from the state of California. Yes what noah, no,

808
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 1: uh yeah, I don't think. I think your energy is

809
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: uh better spent in some other way because one these

810
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 1: two things have nothing to do with each other. And

811
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 1: what Andrew says is correct. It could just be that

812
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,879
Speaker 1: they just didn't update the actual elevator signs, but they

813
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 1: do have the documents to prove it. You just imagine

814
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 1: going through that whole thing and then they're like, ma'am, right,

815
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 1: here is our elevator inspection, and they it's just just right.

816
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 1: It's a movie going out. And if you happen to

817
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 1: like writing a joke, that might make me five, like

818
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 1: what what am I doing? Yeah? But you know what

819
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 1: their moves if any besties though, know that this is

820
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: a huge violation and that there would be consequences that

821
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: that maybe they would want to avoid by giving me

822
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,439
Speaker 1: freedom to smoke weed on my boke, you're just gonna

823
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 1: inconvenience the guy workings who really doesn't have that much

824
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 1: invested in the Like what happens? Why doesn't he wave

825
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 1: my fucking fee? If he doesn't have much invested you

826
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,919
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like I think he thought to charge,

827
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 1: Like I thought what he said was very nice to you,

828
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: And if I was working at the front TUSK, I

829
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 1: would just be like, thank you for your honesty. I'm

830
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 1: not going to charge you right now. Let's just see

831
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: what happens. We'll just take it from there. Yes, no,

832
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 1: he was cool. I you're right. I don't want to

833
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 1: get him in trouble. I don't want to get this

834
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: place in trouble. It is a nice place. Everyone's just

835
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:44,359
Speaker 1: trying to make a book. And yeah this I'm glad

836
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 1: I talked about it because my my evil sone, the

837
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 1: devil on my shoulder, wanted me to use this against them,

838
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 1: and instead I just might let them know that it's

839
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: expired and not do anything about it, but just give

840
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: them a heads up. And that's the kind thing to do,

841
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 1: and then maybe my kindness will be rewarded with a

842
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 1: little of leniency if they choose to without me having

843
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:07,360
Speaker 1: it holding it over their head. This hot box, the elevator,

844
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 1: get high in there. Then I go, look, I think

845
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 1: it is freaking inspect you're inspecting me. I'm inspecting you.

846
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:21,839
Speaker 1: You didn't inspect this? What did love that plan? I'm

847
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 1: gonna fucking hot box that tiny little elevator. Uh I

848
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,959
Speaker 1: realized this place is a dump because I'm not a dump.

849
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 1: But uh da, David dropped me off last night and

850
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 1: I go, it's just dump over here. And he was

851
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 1: really he laughed hard at that, because I'm just so.

852
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 1: Sometimes I get really depressed if I have undercut myself

853
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 1: and stayed somewhere cheaper or done something to save money,

854
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:50,400
Speaker 1: and then it makes me feel like bad, like you

855
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,799
Speaker 1: don't deserve nice things. But then if I do nice

856
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:55,720
Speaker 1: things and it's not nice enough, I also get upset

857
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,839
Speaker 1: like I'm just having money um stress this week for

858
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 1: no reason, for fucking no reason, and uh that's how

859
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: it's um. But I got that six dollar chips that

860
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,400
Speaker 1: Andrew cashed out for me when we were living. Um,

861
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:13,560
Speaker 1: thank you for that, Andrew. Let's get to the news. Apparently. First,

862
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 1: you know you had how cool were We saw so

863
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 1: many busties that had all the swells. It was so great.

864
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 1: Everything that's great. We all had a great time out

865
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:31,880
Speaker 1: there this weekend. And I hope you had all the

866
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 1: swells and you're gonna have all the swells this week.

867
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,800
Speaker 1: I have a good feeling about it. I really do. Yeah. Alright.

868
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 1: First story here a nineteen year old who did a

869
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 1: backflip into a zoo rhino enclosure for his TikTok and

870
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:46,279
Speaker 1: could be charged with criminal trespass in Singapore. So his

871
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: kid decided to jump over a railing out a zoo

872
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 1: and do a backflip for TikTok. We're watching it. That

873
00:42:55,520 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: is yeah, wow, it's kind of cool. In the rhino

874
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 1: charge him per Currens. Yeah he was smoking weed. Um

875
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 1: the charge him though, did the rhino attack him? And anyway? No, No,

876
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:16,240
Speaker 1: it's a very quick back flip. Um. Here's the thing TikTok.

877
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,760
Speaker 1: People die tell us doing TikTok's. Yeah, they go on ledges,

878
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,399
Speaker 1: they go look at me on ledge ledge ledge head? Yeah,

879
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,400
Speaker 1: you talked about your girlfriend is a ledge head because

880
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 1: she's not scared of getting out on a ledge on

881
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 1: a hike. Uh. I love the word ledge head. The

882
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:30,839
Speaker 1: ledge head is a is a word for people who

883
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 1: aren't scared to take risks to either see beautiful things

884
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 1: or very cool things or take a picture with them.

885
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: I don't think your girlfriend was trying to get a TikTok.

886
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 1: She just like, isn't scared of heights. Yeah, the last

887
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 1: thing she would want is for to be recorded. But

888
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,239
Speaker 1: she is definitely a ledge head and she's admitted ledge head.

889
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 1: But these ledge heads they fall off because they're being like,

890
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 1: oh am I getting the ten second time or right boom? Yes,

891
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: So this kid jumped in an enclosure. People are jumping

892
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,839
Speaker 1: in enclosures, and then let's say to rhino, did charge him?

893
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 1: Next thing? You don't need to shoot the rhino because

894
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 1: the kid did a back flip for day. Yeah, well

895
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: this is just a dumb kid for sure. TikTok is

896
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 1: inspiring people to do more because there's more eyes on it. Like,

897
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 1: you know, everyone does things like this and tries to

898
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 1: get cool pictures and stuff, sort of like you know,

899
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 1: a wedding, wedding photos on cliffs, and then the bride

900
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 1: falls to her death right before she's getting you know,

901
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 1: it's like that she just got married. Now they're doing

902
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 1: pictures and the bride gets caught up in the surf,

903
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 1: and then the guy in the room is just like, wow,

904
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:34,280
Speaker 1: I that prayer was answered very quickly. That's that's weird.

905
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 1: I've heard so many stories of people at their wedding

906
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 1: when the bride is walking towards them, they like start

907
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 1: getting sweats because they know that they don't want to

908
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 1: be doing this. And I just picture that guy in

909
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 1: that story I just made up being like, God, please

910
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 1: do something to make it so I don't have to

911
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:53,439
Speaker 1: be with this one in the rest of my life

912
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: and then they go over to take wedding photos and

913
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,799
Speaker 1: a wave comes up and sweeps her to the sea

914
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 1: and he just goes, Okay, Well, I didn't say I

915
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:03,919
Speaker 1: wanted to go to reception and have fund I wanted

916
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 1: to take the cake at but we took Denise into

917
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: the Yeah, into the Mariana trench. Um, so okay, yes,

918
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 1: I here's what I noticed I did. Billy Busy Phillips

919
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 1: is a podcast last week. It was a great conversation,

920
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 1: very very I talked about things I didn't know that

921
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:26,879
Speaker 1: I was going to discuss. But um, one of them

922
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:30,320
Speaker 1: I think was the fact that people that aren't scared

923
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 1: of heights and rhino enclosures and things like that are

924
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think they're still they're kind of

925
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: stupid because the risk is so high. But some people

926
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 1: don't understand how I can stand on stage with my

927
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 1: parents and the audience and talk about having anal sex.

928
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 1: They just cannot imagine a world where that would ever

929
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,319
Speaker 1: be a thing that they could do. And I feel

930
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:54,319
Speaker 1: the same way about you know that guy who does

931
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 1: solo free solo, you know the climber. You look at

932
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:00,840
Speaker 1: him and you go, how could you go without any

933
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,839
Speaker 1: assistance on these let rocks. And it's the same it's

934
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: the same thing to to a lot of people. Talking

935
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:08,799
Speaker 1: about anal sex in front of your parents in a

936
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:14,839
Speaker 1: room of people would be a death worse than falling, um,

937
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 1: you know, Cliffhanger style. So I just I'm glad that

938
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 1: my death defying thing is you know, causing a you know,

939
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: a really wedge of awkwardness between me and my parents,

940
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 1: rather than me getting my arm stuck in a under

941
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 1: a rock. I think I'm confusing two movies here, but

942
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 1: you see my point. Yes, seven hours, Yes, it is

943
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: interesting that like that guy will fucking climb without cameras

944
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 1: by himself, just for him, like I've never been able

945
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 1: to do. Like if I'm if I'm surfing right, Surfing

946
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:52,359
Speaker 1: should be like a solo thing on someone did you

947
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 1: did you see me? On the we are? And my

948
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 1: stepbrother is like cool, Jake the snake is like, yeah,

949
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 1: it's all you did, good job. He doesn't need yet.

950
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:02,960
Speaker 1: Surfers go out in the morning where there's no one

951
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 1: to witness them, and they go out because they they're

952
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 1: one with the sea and it's meditative and all these things.

953
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 1: And we every time we do anything. We need it

954
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,320
Speaker 1: to be documented. That's not true for me actually anymore.

955
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 1: I really do enjoy having moments with like the Earth

956
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: and God and and like myself. Like the thing is

957
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 1: when you believe in God like I do, which I've

958
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 1: found last summer, you're never alone and you always have

959
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 1: an audience. And that's the weird thing is like I

960
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 1: when I'm alone and have those moments of like God,

961
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 1: I wish there was someone to take a picture of

962
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 1: me with this on this hike I'm pretending I hike

963
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 1: or anything I do alone. Um, I just think about

964
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 1: like the dead people in my life and I kind

965
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 1: of like talk to them like they're sitting there with me.

966
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 1: It's really weird. But maybe maybe that will help you. Um,

967
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 1: but they can't film you, that's the problem. And if

968
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,840
Speaker 1: they do, it's just like so it would be my

969
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 1: dead grandpa. You want to know how to work at TikTok?

970
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,240
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, that's yeah, your your grandpa is definitely

971
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,400
Speaker 1: gonna have smudges on the screen. He's not going to

972
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 1: wipe it off correctly, and he's gonna do He's gonna

973
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 1: double tap on the parents always double tap, double click

974
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,160
Speaker 1: on everything whenever I'm over my mom's shoulder on a computer.

975
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 1: She's double clicking every I go one click. We've moved

976
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 1: on from the double click pretty much. There's no double

977
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: clicking anymore. But remember used to double click. The double

978
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 1: click was great. Yeah, why don't we do that now?

979
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: You just do it to like kind of I guess

980
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 1: highlight text. My dad had a mouse for his computer. Yeah, people,

981
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 1: old people love mouses. And he was using my inflatable

982
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 1: mattress at my brother's house as his mouse pad. That's

983
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:43,319
Speaker 1: that is a huge mouse pad. It he was using

984
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 1: an inflatable No, that doesn't make any sense, like the

985
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,320
Speaker 1: edge of it. Yeah, just the edge, not the whole mouse.

986
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 1: I mean he's on the floor with his laptop. He

987
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 1: was sitting on the couch with the bed was on

988
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:56,800
Speaker 1: the floor in the living room, and he was using

989
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:58,919
Speaker 1: my bed without he took the sheet, well the sheet

990
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:01,359
Speaker 1: was off. Because you're so confused by this, but it's

991
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: it's not really worth explaining. Okay, next story, so let

992
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: me explain them. Yeah, and the mouse is on the floor.

993
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 1: He's sitting at his computer, which is I'm thinking elevated,

994
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,319
Speaker 1: so he's bending down to use the mouse on the

995
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 1: on the bed on the floor, on the floor. Okay,

996
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 1: if I'm sitting at a table right now, Andrew, I

997
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 1: think all of our listeners are with me on this

998
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,359
Speaker 1: out confusing. This is I'm sitting at a table right

999
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: now with my laptop. If I'm using if I had

1000
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 1: a mouse right here. Let's pretend this is a mouse,

1001
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:31,160
Speaker 1: I would want it next to the computer right here

1002
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 1: on the table. Now if I'm using the bed, I

1003
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 1: have to go around here to use the mouse. This

1004
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:40,880
Speaker 1: this air mattress is it's a high air mattress and

1005
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 1: it's auto sofa seat. Got it, got it on board.

1006
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:53,279
Speaker 1: Next story, legend you're ledge head if you lay on

1007
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: that bed. It's so high. Okay, here we go. Fire first, Andrew,

1008
00:49:56,840 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 1: hold on, we have to tell we to tell the

1009
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 1: story of there's a new Old Renegade story that happened

1010
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 1: this weekend. We're saving it for final story. But I

1011
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,799
Speaker 1: was thinking about all of the words we've come up

1012
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 1: with for our bestees. One of them was, we witnessed

1013
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 1: the child's birthday party. We asked what his name was.

1014
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:20,799
Speaker 1: The parents said, old Renegade. We our friend Michael heard

1015
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:22,960
Speaker 1: old Renegade. We go, that's kids name. That seven year

1016
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,120
Speaker 1: old name is not Old Renegade. We were laughing so hard.

1017
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 1: It turns out his name was Aurelian, which is very

1018
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 1: close to Old Renegade, because we were like, what could

1019
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:32,920
Speaker 1: that be? It's an old episode very early on the show. Um,

1020
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:37,319
Speaker 1: there was another mistaken communication this weekend that is so

1021
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 1: bad final thought, we'll use it for final thought. Next story.

1022
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 1: I just had to tell you I forgot about that story.

1023
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:45,879
Speaker 1: That's how much of a fever dream. I forgot about

1024
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,800
Speaker 1: that until you just brought Okay, Fire festival ticket holders

1025
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 1: see their class action payout of seventy seven thousand, two

1026
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 1: twenty dollars each slash to two dollars. They each get

1027
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,399
Speaker 1: to eighty Here's the thing, it's better than nothing, but

1028
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,240
Speaker 1: I'm sure they spent more what was at one point

1029
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 1: four million dollar lawsuit that they won, and the attorney's

1030
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: got a million dollars of it, attorneys and accountants. So

1031
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 1: these people are divving up like seventy tho dollars for

1032
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 1: like two people or whatever, just because yeah, he spent

1033
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 1: nine between nine hundreds and ten thousand dollars on the lawsuit.

1034
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:27,400
Speaker 1: Individual I know no on the fire for um, and

1035
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 1: they get two hundred eighty dollars. Uh. Yeah, this, Uh,

1036
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: this doesn't surprise me. I was actually thinking about this yesterday,

1037
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 1: about how um, you know, I think I was worried

1038
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 1: about money yesterday because I thought about I don't even

1039
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 1: remember how much when I got the offer for the

1040
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 1: casino that I did, I don't remember how much they

1041
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 1: offered me. I can think it's I don't like to

1042
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 1: look at numbers. I'm scared of numbers, and I know

1043
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:54,399
Speaker 1: that's weird. But I was thinking about, you know, it's

1044
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 1: such a nice gift to get that Gibson guitar because

1045
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:59,080
Speaker 1: it was probably I'm guessing between a four thousand and

1046
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 1: seven thousand dollar could tar. And that is money that

1047
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:07,360
Speaker 1: my agents and my uh my agent, my manager and

1048
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 1: my lawyer can't touch. They're going to take the top

1049
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 1: two strings. I know, I know I have to give,

1050
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,439
Speaker 1: I have to cut off a piece of the top

1051
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 1: of it. But um, I was thinking, and I was

1052
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 1: thinking about it, and I go, God, it's such bullshit

1053
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 1: that they take, you know, thirty of my money every

1054
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 1: time I book something. And but these are thoughts I'm

1055
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 1: having because other comedians have put them there, Like everyone

1056
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 1: hates agents and managers for taking more than they possibly

1057
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 1: deserve all these things. And what I realized was that

1058
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 1: Nikki just never have that thought again. Honestly, until you

1059
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 1: know that you could do the work they do, don't

1060
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 1: have the thought because to me, it's I could do

1061
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 1: this all day. I can't believe I pay Angie d

1062
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 1: and fifteen bucks to clean my apartment. I could fucking

1063
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 1: do that. She's she's making a hundred fifty bucks for

1064
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 1: stuff I could do. Um No, I can't do it.

1065
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,759
Speaker 1: That's why she's hired to do it. My agent and

1066
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 1: managers might get a ton of money that they get

1067
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:10,880
Speaker 1: for making a couple of calls, sending ten emails, and

1068
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 1: that's maybe more work than I'm putting into it, and

1069
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,879
Speaker 1: they're whatever. Still, it's they're doing something I have no

1070
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 1: ability to do. And so I am acknowledging that. And

1071
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 1: even if it's like but Nikki, he he just set there,

1072
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:27,320
Speaker 1: he literally didn't have to do anything. It doesn't that's

1073
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:31,360
Speaker 1: that I agreed to that amount. That's the way it works.

1074
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:34,800
Speaker 1: And I'm not gonna bitch about paying for something that

1075
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 1: I agreed to pay for ever again. Because if you

1076
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 1: get if you get charged on the back end, there's

1077
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,799
Speaker 1: time to complain. But when you agree to something and

1078
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 1: then you bitch about it later, I don't understand. I

1079
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 1: don't understand that anymore. So I really like I had

1080
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:52,719
Speaker 1: this moment yesterday where I go, maybe I got let's say,

1081
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 1: let's just give a number which isn't a number, A

1082
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 1: million dollars for that appearance, which isn't even close. That's

1083
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:01,040
Speaker 1: why I picked that number. My agents are going to get.

1084
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,520
Speaker 1: There goes three hundred thousand dollars of it, and then

1085
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 1: after taxes there goes probably two to three hundred. So

1086
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:10,279
Speaker 1: out of that million, I'm gonna make four hundred thousand.

1087
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna walk away with four and a uh great,

1088
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:18,320
Speaker 1: great that that other money was never mind to happen.

1089
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:21,000
Speaker 1: I don't get to look at that number million dollars

1090
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 1: and think that's mine. I know. I never look at

1091
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 1: the number they offer me and go, yes, I can't

1092
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 1: wait to get a tesla with that or whatever. I think, No,

1093
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:31,319
Speaker 1: cut it in half at least, and then cut that

1094
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 1: in half because you're gonna save half of it because

1095
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 1: you're worried about your career going away. I just the

1096
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,360
Speaker 1: money that you spend or that is taken from taxes.

1097
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 1: I don't understand people getting mad about taxes. I never

1098
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:45,080
Speaker 1: look at my salary or what I'm making as my money.

1099
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 1: I just go, don't. That's not the real number. Even

1100
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:51,319
Speaker 1: I get mad at Walgreen's when they don't or you know,

1101
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,920
Speaker 1: like prices at stores like just add the tax I

1102
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,040
Speaker 1: know it changes, so they can't. But like, nothing's ever

1103
00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:01,400
Speaker 1: ten dollars. It's gonna be twelve eighty, and so I

1104
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:04,439
Speaker 1: don't know what my point is. My point is, don't

1105
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:08,239
Speaker 1: bring up the elevator to that guy. You agreed to

1106
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:11,719
Speaker 1: pay for the five it's on you. I did. I did.

1107
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 1: That's that's we're working back around. I don't know. I

1108
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 1: just I'm tired of people complaining about agents and managers

1109
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:20,399
Speaker 1: and being like, do you do anything? Well, then why

1110
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 1: do you have them? I guess, yeah, well that's the

1111
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,760
Speaker 1: that's the rub I guess. But they didn't do anything.

1112
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 1: I thought they do stuff. Well, then don't have them.

1113
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know what to tell you. I'm

1114
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:35,600
Speaker 1: grateful for mine because they make calls and they make

1115
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:38,640
Speaker 1: emails that I don't want to make. And honestly, maybe

1116
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:40,920
Speaker 1: I could make those emails and those calls, but I

1117
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 1: don't want to and I get to masturbate today instead

1118
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 1: of doing that, you know, like I get to my life. Yeah.

1119
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:51,880
Speaker 1: So um, that's how I feel about that next story. Sorry, Andrew, No,

1120
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 1: I just think that, like, uh, the difference is if

1121
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 1: if you make enough money to thirty percent just doesn't

1122
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 1: seem like sae. But why do people vote for Trump

1123
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:04,279
Speaker 1: that are rich because they're like, I want I don't

1124
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 1: want to give away money. I want to give away

1125
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:10,640
Speaker 1: And it's like I get that, but that we need

1126
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,640
Speaker 1: money for roads in schools. So being spent on roads

1127
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,880
Speaker 1: in schools, it's being spent on you know, Christmas lights

1128
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 1: in a town square and I'm Jewish and I don't

1129
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:21,799
Speaker 1: want Christmas lights. Well, you don't get to say where

1130
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:24,279
Speaker 1: it goes to. Just pay your goddamn taxes and shut up.

1131
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:26,959
Speaker 1: I don't if you're if you're wealthy, shut the funk

1132
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 1: up about taxes. I hate you so much. If you're

1133
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:33,240
Speaker 1: a wealthy person, you're like, but I want more. Shot

1134
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 1: up talking about wealthy. I worked for my money. You

1135
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 1: didn't work for your money. You got born with a

1136
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 1: brain that was good at math or whatever the funk.

1137
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:44,280
Speaker 1: You're good at that made you make so much money?

1138
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 1: I know, but I was I wasn't talking about the

1139
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: very rich people back to the wealth. Well yeah, no,

1140
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:53,400
Speaker 1: but I'm talking about that makes sixty grand and then

1141
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:58,960
Speaker 1: they give so the difference. Yes, they literally can't survive

1142
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:02,920
Speaker 1: because of the like, but you know what I mean whatever,

1143
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:06,439
Speaker 1: They need to talk to their major agents managers and

1144
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 1: tell them listen, this isn't a living wage I'm making

1145
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 1: with you. Can we work out some deal until I

1146
00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:14,560
Speaker 1: do make enough money where I will be able to

1147
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 1: pay you back. Um. This money my abuse of therapist Donna.

1148
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:20,320
Speaker 1: She used to always say, you don't have to pay

1149
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 1: me three seventy five dollars every time you see me

1150
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 1: twice a week, which I make you go twice a week. Um,

1151
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:27,680
Speaker 1: because I know that when you can't afford it, you'll

1152
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 1: pay it. You'll pay me back for the times. And

1153
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:32,440
Speaker 1: I go, no, I don't really want to do that.

1154
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,320
Speaker 1: She goes, you will though, and I go, I don't

1155
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:36,840
Speaker 1: think I'll want to do that, and um, but she

1156
00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 1: was always like, I'll do a sliding scale because the

1157
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 1: money that I she she takes on poor people that

1158
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,080
Speaker 1: can't afford it and gives them free sessions because her

1159
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 1: clients that can afford it support them, and so about

1160
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 1: that rich people need to pay that much where they

1161
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:57,320
Speaker 1: feel like they're getting quality, uh service, you know what

1162
00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:59,240
Speaker 1: I mean. So it's like if you went to a

1163
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 1: rich person, you're like, oh, you make two million dollars,

1164
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 1: but you only have to pay twenty each session. They'll

1165
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 1: be like, are you even good? You know what I mean?

1166
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 1: Right right right? Yeah? Charging more makes you feel like

1167
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:14,840
Speaker 1: you're um finge by the way, I I had a

1168
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:18,160
Speaker 1: string of abuse of therapists, uh until I Noah gave

1169
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:20,480
Speaker 1: me her therapist and she was very nice and I

1170
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 1: was able to break up. Every time I've broken up

1171
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 1: with therapists, they've either hassled me and like kept calling

1172
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 1: me and not let me quit and told me they're

1173
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 1: the only ones that loved me, the only ones that

1174
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 1: will understand me. I'm going to die without them, or

1175
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:36,320
Speaker 1: they've cried and made me feel really bad about it

1176
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 1: and fought it. And then I started seeing better therapists.

1177
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:42,840
Speaker 1: No As I saw we we didn't have the right chemistry,

1178
00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:44,840
Speaker 1: and so I let her go and she was very understanding.

1179
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:46,880
Speaker 1: Then I saw this other one that I really loved

1180
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 1: for a while, and it just got to the point

1181
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:51,280
Speaker 1: where I was like, I want to try E M

1182
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:52,920
Speaker 1: d R. I want to try a more direct approach

1183
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 1: instead of talk therapy. And I told her that and

1184
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,560
Speaker 1: I go, I'm switching to I was seeing Whitney comings

1185
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,360
Speaker 1: therapist for a while, and I go. And when I

1186
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:01,919
Speaker 1: first saw this woman, I told her about my abuse

1187
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 1: of therapist and she goes, I promise you, when you

1188
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 1: break up with me, or if you ever need to

1189
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 1: leave me, I will never hold it against you. I'll

1190
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 1: never fight it. I will never that is such a

1191
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:12,160
Speaker 1: triggering thing, and you know you were safe with me,

1192
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 1: and I trusted her. I eventually let this girl go.

1193
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:18,040
Speaker 1: She was totally fine about it, so understanding, so loving.

1194
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:20,600
Speaker 1: I I didn't end up following through with the E

1195
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 1: M d R. I'm not seeing any therapist now. This

1196
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:25,520
Speaker 1: old therapist wrote to me this weekend saying, Hey, I

1197
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 1: was just thinking of you. I just wanted to say

1198
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 1: hi and say that I think of you often and

1199
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 1: I'm wishing you all the best. You don't even need

1200
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:33,600
Speaker 1: to write back to this, just wanted to say hello.

1201
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:35,720
Speaker 1: And then I was like, I loved her so much,

1202
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:37,880
Speaker 1: that's sweet. I started writing her back and trying to

1203
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:39,840
Speaker 1: end telling her like, my life is actually I've never

1204
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 1: felt better. I'm on med's, I you know, still recovered

1205
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:48,280
Speaker 1: from eating disorder, loving my job, embarking ontour, a little

1206
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 1: stressed out. Actually there's this thing, and I go in

1207
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:53,440
Speaker 1: writing this. I was thought I was gonna write you

1208
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:56,040
Speaker 1: and say thank you, no thank you, or like thanks

1209
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 1: and I'll talk to you when I need you. And

1210
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 1: I ended up going, let's actually pick back up because

1211
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 1: is you promised me something and you stuck to it

1212
01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:06,320
Speaker 1: and you I trust you now and um, and so

1213
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:07,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to start seeing a therapist again. But it

1214
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:13,720
Speaker 1: was just so nice that actually that because I was

1215
01:00:13,760 --> 01:00:17,200
Speaker 1: smoking weight during it, she was just like just throwing

1216
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 1: this out there. But you know, such a lovely woman

1217
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 1: that was actually not trying to repind me of like

1218
01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 1: hey I'm here, I need work. It was really like

1219
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:31,080
Speaker 1: I love you and care about you as as your

1220
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 1: doctor at one point, and it was just it was

1221
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:35,959
Speaker 1: the therapist would be interesting if you left and they're

1222
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 1: like you're not healed yet, You're like how much will

1223
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:42,200
Speaker 1: it cost for this not to make you upset? Like

1224
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 1: can I give you twenty dollars and you'll stop crying

1225
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:49,240
Speaker 1: for me. It was not about that. It was not

1226
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 1: about that. She literally, I think loved me and um

1227
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 1: and she and she was the one I saw when

1228
01:00:57,120 --> 01:01:00,920
Speaker 1: I was seeking out an emotional therapist, uh E f T.

1229
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:03,959
Speaker 1: So they focus on feeling your feelings. So she would

1230
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:05,840
Speaker 1: feel my I would tell her horrible things that have

1231
01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 1: happened to me, and then she would cry because she

1232
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:11,320
Speaker 1: was feeling that. She wasn't like an embath And then

1233
01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 1: I would see her crying and be able to know

1234
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 1: that it was worth crying about. Because the strangers crying,

1235
01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:18,040
Speaker 1: I should be able to cry and um. And so

1236
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 1: when I told her goodbye, she got very she started crying,

1237
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:25,560
Speaker 1: and because she feels everything, and I think she was

1238
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:28,400
Speaker 1: just really hurt and confused, and it felt like a

1239
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 1: real breakup. And I still think about her too and

1240
01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:34,400
Speaker 1: and love her a lot. But he was not an

1241
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:36,920
Speaker 1: easy I'm going through something kind of similar right now

1242
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,520
Speaker 1: where uh the gym that I've been going to a lot.

1243
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:43,560
Speaker 1: I'm starting to like this gym downstairs, and I in

1244
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:46,080
Speaker 1: order to go and get classes, I gotta pose stories.

1245
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:50,560
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking about hiding the stories of this gym

1246
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:54,840
Speaker 1: from the old gym. Yeah, here's what I had to do,

1247
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:56,360
Speaker 1: the same thing with my trainer. I was seeing a

1248
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 1: trainer three days a week in two thousand thirteen. I

1249
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:02,080
Speaker 1: was like so fit. I was getting ready to break

1250
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 1: up with him. And then he moved to l A.

1251
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:05,120
Speaker 1: It was in New York, and I was like, oh

1252
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:06,960
Speaker 1: my god, this is the best thing ever because I

1253
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 1: didn't have to do it, because I didn't have the

1254
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 1: heart to do it, and I was just gonna go

1255
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:12,120
Speaker 1: to no one. So what you do, and Andrew as

1256
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:14,640
Speaker 1: you tell him the truth? Because what is the truth, Well,

1257
01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 1: it's far away, you got injured during the class. It's

1258
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 1: more high intensity. You want something that works on your hips.

1259
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:23,960
Speaker 1: Now he's gonna say he's gonna have combatant. He's gonna say, well,

1260
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 1: we can do more hip stretches and do more pilates

1261
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:28,760
Speaker 1: type things. And you just have to say, dude, I

1262
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 1: loved your class, but I'm going to try something new

1263
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,000
Speaker 1: new no offense. I can also do both. I could

1264
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 1: because I'm just not going to go as much to

1265
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 1: this guy. But don't hide him from your story. Is

1266
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:42,400
Speaker 1: just because you're allowed to go to Yeah, no, I

1267
01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:45,800
Speaker 1: love that. And he probably heard this anyway, so next story.

1268
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:48,000
Speaker 1: It's a great guy. Do I care? Why do I care?

1269
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:52,040
Speaker 1: Oh boy? If you haven't seen this video, Cardi b

1270
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:55,480
Speaker 1: surprises her three year old daughter culture with a k

1271
01:02:56,120 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 1: with a dazzling diamond necklace on her third birthday, Oh god,

1272
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:05,840
Speaker 1: I mean it's really cute as mini mouse with like,

1273
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:08,480
Speaker 1: I mean, how much does this cost? Do we have

1274
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:14,720
Speaker 1: an estimate? There was no praise two rand Yeah, um,

1275
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:19,200
Speaker 1: doesn't surprise me. Uh Spade was actually doing a hilarious bit,

1276
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:21,560
Speaker 1: not even a bit. He was just like talking about

1277
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:27,280
Speaker 1: how you know the Kardashians, you know, uh psalms or

1278
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 1: North's birthday is like she's too and it's just like

1279
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:35,120
Speaker 1: bigger than any celebration that anyone's ever thrown for him

1280
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:37,200
Speaker 1: as an adult. And it's like he was he was

1281
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:39,640
Speaker 1: making me laugh so hard. He just talks in stand up.

1282
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:44,040
Speaker 1: It's frustrating. But um, yeah, these these kids are spoiled.

1283
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:46,560
Speaker 1: It's scary to see what they're going to turn into

1284
01:03:46,880 --> 01:03:51,840
Speaker 1: based on this. But also, you know, I I feel

1285
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 1: like Cardi is just a lot of times parents make

1286
01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:56,040
Speaker 1: a party that they want to go to. I think

1287
01:03:56,080 --> 01:04:00,439
Speaker 1: Cardi Cardi wants that necklace and so and kids don't

1288
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:02,760
Speaker 1: have much of a personality yet to like actually get something,

1289
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:07,400
Speaker 1: and it's just to just display wealth and um, to

1290
01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:11,880
Speaker 1: project that you're important and that you have money and um,

1291
01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:15,760
Speaker 1: that's what diamonds are all about. And uh, partner, like

1292
01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:17,800
Speaker 1: you were you were talking about like, oh, you know,

1293
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 1: then I'll spend too much on a hotel and I'll

1294
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:22,160
Speaker 1: feel bad about spending. Yeah. I look at this, and

1295
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 1: Cardi goes, I'm gonna give her a three hundred thousand

1296
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:26,680
Speaker 1: dollar necklace and I'm not even gonna think twice about it.

1297
01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:29,600
Speaker 1: And I'm like jealous of that, of her being able

1298
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:32,600
Speaker 1: to because Cardi spending three thousand dollars on a necklace

1299
01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 1: is like you spending three dollars on a latta. Like

1300
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 1: if you look at how much money she has, probably

1301
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:40,120
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean, no offense to you

1302
01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:43,960
Speaker 1: was broke, but in comparison, it's just the same. It's

1303
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:46,440
Speaker 1: it's nothing. Yeah, but you know that's not a lot

1304
01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:49,640
Speaker 1: of money. Yeah, yeah, I guess, so, I guess. So.

1305
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:52,480
Speaker 1: I mean I also think, like sometimes I bet she

1306
01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:55,120
Speaker 1: got it gifted from Cardier or whatever. A lot of

1307
01:04:55,160 --> 01:04:59,040
Speaker 1: times if you watch Kim Kardashian, Uh if you're into

1308
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:01,560
Speaker 1: a SMR by the way. Uh. Kim Kardashian is one

1309
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 1: of the best a s M artists out there, and

1310
01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 1: it's unintentional, which is my favorite a s m R.

1311
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:08,880
Speaker 1: If you don't know what a SMR is, it gives

1312
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:10,960
Speaker 1: you like brain orgasms because it makes you tingle in

1313
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,760
Speaker 1: your head when you hear people like whispers talk softly.

1314
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:17,640
Speaker 1: My favorite a SMR is uh, women talking softly like this,

1315
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:20,680
Speaker 1: like they're a nurturing mother, which is a sound I

1316
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:22,920
Speaker 1: didn't hear that much because my mom talks like this,

1317
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:26,720
Speaker 1: you know, it's always just like this. And Kim Kardashian

1318
01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:30,400
Speaker 1: talks like this, Oh my god, we got this for

1319
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 1: North It's so beautiful. So what they do these compilations

1320
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:37,360
Speaker 1: on YouTube? Kim Kardashian a sm R, also Chloe Kylie,

1321
01:05:37,520 --> 01:05:40,160
Speaker 1: They all talk with a SMR voice that very soothing

1322
01:05:40,200 --> 01:05:44,360
Speaker 1: voices they are. They have millions of views on these videos.

1323
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:48,440
Speaker 1: It's just compilations of their stories on Instagram thanking different

1324
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:52,120
Speaker 1: companies for sending them things. And I swear to God,

1325
01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:56,240
Speaker 1: Kim Kardashian gets probably a million dollars worth of gifts

1326
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:59,439
Speaker 1: from people every day every day, and she goes you guys,

1327
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:02,640
Speaker 1: thank you much, and she's such a grateful sweetheart. I

1328
01:06:02,680 --> 01:06:05,280
Speaker 1: really like Kim Kardashian from watching these because you know,

1329
01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:08,720
Speaker 1: when she's thanking someone, she's like, oh my god, this

1330
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:11,960
Speaker 1: new lip kit, thank you so much, it's beautiful, and

1331
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:14,520
Speaker 1: she she really don't you can tell why she gets

1332
01:06:14,560 --> 01:06:17,080
Speaker 1: all these things because she plugs it so well on

1333
01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:19,080
Speaker 1: her Instagram. And I got to take a page out

1334
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:20,400
Speaker 1: of her book because I get sent a lot of

1335
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:22,840
Speaker 1: stuff and I feel bad putting it on my story

1336
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:25,600
Speaker 1: because I think my listeners and my fans will be like,

1337
01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:27,800
Speaker 1: we don't want to see you talk about this, like

1338
01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:30,360
Speaker 1: butt wipe you got which, By the way, Tail Feathers,

1339
01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:32,520
Speaker 1: thank you so much for sending us so many disposable

1340
01:06:32,560 --> 01:06:35,240
Speaker 1: butt wipes. We've used them so much. Shout out to

1341
01:06:35,280 --> 01:06:38,080
Speaker 1: Tail Feathers, best disposable butt wipe. Do not throw your

1342
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:40,160
Speaker 1: butt wipes that you're buying at the store in the toilet.

1343
01:06:40,160 --> 01:06:41,320
Speaker 1: You have to put them in the trash, but if

1344
01:06:41,320 --> 01:06:42,960
Speaker 1: you want one you can put the toilet. Tail Feathers

1345
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:44,800
Speaker 1: is the one to do. I love them so much.

1346
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,960
Speaker 1: Um So I'm gonna do that more. I'm gonna be

1347
01:06:47,960 --> 01:06:49,760
Speaker 1: better about shouting out to people that send me free

1348
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:51,840
Speaker 1: stuff because I like free stuff and it's so sweet

1349
01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:54,680
Speaker 1: of you, and thank you so much. Why do I care?

1350
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:57,000
Speaker 1: I literally I don't care. What I do want to

1351
01:06:57,040 --> 01:06:58,880
Speaker 1: talk about for our sports moment and if we can

1352
01:06:58,880 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 1: get to it before this week. Is the that stole

1353
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:10,080
Speaker 1: stole rob Ron mcaley. Who's the golfer m McNerney. Yeah, yeah,

1354
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:12,520
Speaker 1: that's him. Did you see the guy that stole his club?

1355
01:07:13,120 --> 01:07:17,440
Speaker 1: What dude? It is the funniest thing. It was all

1356
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:20,040
Speaker 1: over there. We watched it last night again name drop.

1357
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:21,720
Speaker 1: I met up with Spade and some friends at a

1358
01:07:21,760 --> 01:07:25,560
Speaker 1: bar and on the TV after the basketball game was

1359
01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:27,280
Speaker 1: the news and they go, did you see this guy?

1360
01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:31,920
Speaker 1: So they're at the what's the what's the what's the

1361
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:35,200
Speaker 1: thing they're doing right now? The US the golf tournament open.

1362
01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:38,160
Speaker 1: That feels like tennis to me, Well, yes, the US

1363
01:07:38,200 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 1: opens coming off. Oh no, it's not. You know, it's

1364
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:45,720
Speaker 1: a celebrity thing American Century. Maybe they're doing whatever they're doing.

1365
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:51,960
Speaker 1: There's all these caddies around that guy's Rory McGill roy's clubs,

1366
01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:54,040
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden and there's a camera

1367
01:07:54,040 --> 01:07:55,920
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, this guy walks by and

1368
01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:58,160
Speaker 1: just grabs a club that has like a big stuffed

1369
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:02,200
Speaker 1: animal bear as like the over the club here. Watch

1370
01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:06,120
Speaker 1: this dude, and this guy walks by just nonchalantly look

1371
01:08:06,120 --> 01:08:09,280
Speaker 1: at him and he's gonna grab that little doghead that's

1372
01:08:09,320 --> 01:08:14,120
Speaker 1: covering a club. And then watch he struggles with it,

1373
01:08:14,120 --> 01:08:16,680
Speaker 1: it doesn't come out. He comes back to it, he

1374
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:19,680
Speaker 1: grabs another club, picks it up, walks off, and there

1375
01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:21,800
Speaker 1: are three guys around, and they go, who was that.

1376
01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:24,559
Speaker 1: He goes off to the side and starts practicing his

1377
01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:27,200
Speaker 1: swing to make it look like he deserves this club,

1378
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:30,280
Speaker 1: and they they all, he's just a guy that snuck

1379
01:08:30,320 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 1: in and tried to steal golf club nonchalantly. They all

1380
01:08:32,479 --> 01:08:35,080
Speaker 1: take care of it. And uh, it's just the funniest

1381
01:08:35,120 --> 01:08:36,760
Speaker 1: thing that this guy tried to make it look like

1382
01:08:36,840 --> 01:08:39,840
Speaker 1: he deserved to be there, and and uh, he's just

1383
01:08:39,880 --> 01:08:41,320
Speaker 1: a stranger that's not going to look off course the

1384
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:44,240
Speaker 1: Soul Club. And that is how I felt about a

1385
01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:45,880
Speaker 1: couple of people that came up to me at the

1386
01:08:45,880 --> 01:08:49,400
Speaker 1: after party and acted like they deserve to be sitting

1387
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:52,320
Speaker 1: next to me when they did not, and made me

1388
01:08:52,439 --> 01:08:56,360
Speaker 1: very uncomfortable. So that. Remember that guy that came up

1389
01:08:56,400 --> 01:08:58,800
Speaker 1: to me, Do you remember them? I think I was

1390
01:08:58,840 --> 01:09:00,760
Speaker 1: talking to him for probably why I left for a

1391
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:04,439
Speaker 1: little bit, and that's when he probably No, yeah, you weren't.

1392
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:08,360
Speaker 1: You weren't. I don't think you were there for this one. Um? Yeah,

1393
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:13,800
Speaker 1: I uh. I was sitting at on the couch and

1394
01:09:13,800 --> 01:09:15,760
Speaker 1: there was a space open next to me on a

1395
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:17,639
Speaker 1: couch that would have been made us very cozy if

1396
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:19,479
Speaker 1: someone were to sit there. And he's a big guy too,

1397
01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:21,200
Speaker 1: so he would have been right on me. There's a

1398
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:29,080
Speaker 1: chair in the purple shirt. Yeah, big hands, Yeah, I

1399
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:32,880
Speaker 1: guess um. And he he goes, can I sit there

1400
01:09:33,040 --> 01:09:34,200
Speaker 1: next to me on the couch And I go, no,

1401
01:09:34,720 --> 01:09:37,760
Speaker 1: you're fine here, I can hear you, and he goes okay,

1402
01:09:37,880 --> 01:09:41,600
Speaker 1: um okay, and I go um and he's mumbling I

1403
01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:43,479
Speaker 1: can't even hear him. He wants me to get closer

1404
01:09:43,479 --> 01:09:46,240
Speaker 1: to him, and I go, do you want a picture, sir?

1405
01:09:46,360 --> 01:09:48,800
Speaker 1: And he goes, oh. He looked disappointed that I called

1406
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:51,120
Speaker 1: him sir, because I'm trying to establish like you're not

1407
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:54,200
Speaker 1: someone I want close to me, like you're a sir,

1408
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:56,479
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean. He goes, oh, sir,

1409
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:58,200
Speaker 1: and I go, yeah, I just served you. That's what

1410
01:09:58,240 --> 01:10:01,519
Speaker 1: you deserve. Because his his energy was not good. So

1411
01:10:01,560 --> 01:10:03,080
Speaker 1: we take a picture. I just kind of get close

1412
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:06,160
Speaker 1: and go like hi, and then he keeps mumbling. He's

1413
01:10:06,200 --> 01:10:08,280
Speaker 1: like to himself and kind of trying to get my numbers,

1414
01:10:08,400 --> 01:10:10,439
Speaker 1: and I was just like, I don't. I don't need

1415
01:10:10,479 --> 01:10:12,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this. And he's like, I'm

1416
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:14,240
Speaker 1: not trying to go. I don't whatever it is, I

1417
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:15,760
Speaker 1: just don't want it. Can we just like not? And

1418
01:10:15,760 --> 01:10:17,920
Speaker 1: he goes I'm not trying to like, and I go

1419
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:20,800
Speaker 1: and he's still not getting it, like go, like stand

1420
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:22,760
Speaker 1: up and leaf, you're making me uncomfortable and and this

1421
01:10:22,880 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 1: I'm not capturing how uncomfortable this made me, but it

1422
01:10:25,080 --> 01:10:27,439
Speaker 1: was really I don't mind people coming up to me.

1423
01:10:27,640 --> 01:10:30,000
Speaker 1: I actually left right after this because he wouldn't leave,

1424
01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:31,920
Speaker 1: and I just go, I want to go, and everyone

1425
01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:33,679
Speaker 1: we get up to go, and then there's a line

1426
01:10:33,720 --> 01:10:35,280
Speaker 1: of people that see me get up to go, and

1427
01:10:35,320 --> 01:10:36,960
Speaker 1: they're all wanting to meet me. I met all of

1428
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:38,720
Speaker 1: those people because they were all lovely and gave me

1429
01:10:38,760 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 1: such good energy. This guy bad energy, even though he's

1430
01:10:41,080 --> 01:10:42,400
Speaker 1: a fan. I think he was a little too drunk

1431
01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:48,280
Speaker 1: and nervous um and I'm, I'm, I'm just it really

1432
01:10:48,360 --> 01:10:53,559
Speaker 1: made me really upset that occurrence. For whatever reason, I

1433
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:56,920
Speaker 1: felt very unsafe. I felt uh and I don't ever

1434
01:10:56,960 --> 01:10:58,880
Speaker 1: feel that way. I just didn't like him. He seemed

1435
01:10:58,880 --> 01:11:00,960
Speaker 1: to get mad when I heard him in a way

1436
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:03,960
Speaker 1: that was like not good. And then I went. Then

1437
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:06,000
Speaker 1: I left, and all of these people came up to

1438
01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:08,080
Speaker 1: meet me afterwards, and they were all so lovely. I

1439
01:11:08,160 --> 01:11:10,040
Speaker 1: hugged them all like I don't want anyone to think

1440
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:11,760
Speaker 1: I don't like meeting fans. I actually fucking love it

1441
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:15,280
Speaker 1: more than anything. But if you have an ambition to

1442
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:19,840
Speaker 1: try to fuck me, just don't. Don't. Don't talk to me.

1443
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:22,240
Speaker 1: That's not If I feel that bone or energy from

1444
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:23,680
Speaker 1: you at all, it's not going to be good. But

1445
01:11:23,680 --> 01:11:25,599
Speaker 1: if you're just a normal person that yeah, you would

1446
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:27,920
Speaker 1: suck me if you could, that's fine too, but don't

1447
01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:30,280
Speaker 1: try to or have any ambition of that, because it's

1448
01:11:30,400 --> 01:11:33,960
Speaker 1: never ever going to happen. Okay, let's get to top

1449
01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:41,519
Speaker 1: one bottom one. Today's category is injuries. Injuries. Top one injury,

1450
01:11:41,560 --> 01:11:45,240
Speaker 1: top bottom or bottom injury. Andrew, can you get us

1451
01:11:45,280 --> 01:11:49,599
Speaker 1: started with your least favorite injury. I would say my

1452
01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:52,720
Speaker 1: bottom one. I just I had one, and now I'm

1453
01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:57,679
Speaker 1: thinking my bottom one should be my bottom asshole being

1454
01:11:57,720 --> 01:12:02,479
Speaker 1: injured all the time. Yeah, fishers, But I was thinking

1455
01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:05,080
Speaker 1: the other, the one, the one one that I think

1456
01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:07,280
Speaker 1: that's your bust one because the story that came with it.

1457
01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:11,000
Speaker 1: You know, like injuries across the board should be bad, right,

1458
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:13,280
Speaker 1: but sometimes you're grateful for one because of what it

1459
01:12:13,360 --> 01:12:17,800
Speaker 1: led to. I would say, no, I was. I just

1460
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:19,640
Speaker 1: came up thought of that, But I really think my

1461
01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:22,800
Speaker 1: bottom one is high school football. I never scored a

1462
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:29,120
Speaker 1: touchdown and it's my senior year. And uh, I ran aslant,

1463
01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:31,679
Speaker 1: I caught the ball and I got hit so hard.

1464
01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:35,120
Speaker 1: I scored the touchdown, but it knocked the wind out

1465
01:12:35,120 --> 01:12:38,080
Speaker 1: of me so bad that I literally thought I was

1466
01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:40,160
Speaker 1: gonna die. And I was if you ever get the

1467
01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:43,599
Speaker 1: wind knocked out, come here, wind. I need the wind.

1468
01:12:43,920 --> 01:12:46,439
Speaker 1: Put me a wind. Come on, I need you wind,

1469
01:12:46,880 --> 01:12:50,400
Speaker 1: you know. And and I was just rolling around. I

1470
01:12:50,439 --> 01:12:53,160
Speaker 1: wasn't cool about it. I'm rolling around when I need wind.

1471
01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:55,840
Speaker 1: And uh, that was my only touchdown I ever scored.

1472
01:12:55,880 --> 01:12:58,519
Speaker 1: I couldn't celebrate it, didn't even celebrate it because you

1473
01:12:58,560 --> 01:13:02,320
Speaker 1: were looking for the wind. Yeah, did your team win?

1474
01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:05,880
Speaker 1: Did the touchdown? We lost? Okay, but that's still cool

1475
01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:08,760
Speaker 1: though that you got one. But yeah, that that's a

1476
01:13:08,880 --> 01:13:11,040
Speaker 1: that's bitter sweet because you wouldn't like do a little

1477
01:13:11,080 --> 01:13:13,240
Speaker 1: dance or something. Yeah, you won't have your team lift

1478
01:13:13,280 --> 01:13:15,080
Speaker 1: you up. You don't want to be like a wind seeker,

1479
01:13:15,200 --> 01:13:18,679
Speaker 1: like a native American like wind like doing it. Yeah.

1480
01:13:19,640 --> 01:13:22,600
Speaker 1: The woman that actually helped it just sounds like a

1481
01:13:23,200 --> 01:13:28,599
Speaker 1: what the are athletic trainer? Such a nice lady, miss Hitton,

1482
01:13:28,640 --> 01:13:30,439
Speaker 1: who was like the only lesbian that I kind of

1483
01:13:30,479 --> 01:13:32,960
Speaker 1: knew growing up. She died, she got e lectured, she

1484
01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:36,680
Speaker 1: got struck by lightning and died. And I don't know

1485
01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:40,160
Speaker 1: if anything to do with the wind, but yeah, yeah,

1486
01:13:40,240 --> 01:13:42,080
Speaker 1: well I'm sure the wind has a part to play

1487
01:13:42,160 --> 01:13:46,160
Speaker 1: in and you know, weather events like that. So that's ironic.

1488
01:13:46,280 --> 01:13:49,920
Speaker 1: And I was wondering if the crowd reacted when you

1489
01:13:49,960 --> 01:13:54,759
Speaker 1: got hit. Did you hear oh anything? Like the same

1490
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:57,280
Speaker 1: team I played against my sophomore year and I got

1491
01:13:57,360 --> 01:14:01,719
Speaker 1: hit on kickoff and uh, I flew like twenty yards

1492
01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:03,960
Speaker 1: off the screen. That's how far I flew because I

1493
01:14:03,960 --> 01:14:06,040
Speaker 1: was so small. The Jersey one passed my knees. When

1494
01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:08,720
Speaker 1: I was just Altimore, I was like a hundred pounds,

1495
01:14:08,760 --> 01:14:11,599
Speaker 1: like I was literally Lucas from that movie Lucas whatever,

1496
01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:13,960
Speaker 1: and I was running and while I was in the air,

1497
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:16,920
Speaker 1: I could hear the crowd going, oh, like feeling bad

1498
01:14:16,960 --> 01:14:19,320
Speaker 1: for me, and I still haven't I didn't even lay

1499
01:14:19,360 --> 01:14:21,680
Speaker 1: in yet. And so we were watching the film the

1500
01:14:21,720 --> 01:14:24,520
Speaker 1: next day and I swear to got my coach replayed

1501
01:14:24,560 --> 01:14:28,040
Speaker 1: me getting hit in front of the team literally forty

1502
01:14:28,120 --> 01:14:31,080
Speaker 1: five times and everyone laughing at me like it was

1503
01:14:31,200 --> 01:14:33,719
Speaker 1: it was a good name. Anyways. So anyways, no about

1504
01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:37,040
Speaker 1: Apparently the trailer for Boy or f Why Island just

1505
01:14:37,120 --> 01:14:39,000
Speaker 1: dropped and I'm getting a lot of texts from it.

1506
01:14:39,040 --> 01:14:40,920
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see it. Um, so go check

1507
01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:43,840
Speaker 1: that out today. Um and uh. And I can't post

1508
01:14:43,840 --> 01:14:46,120
Speaker 1: about it yet because I'm doing my podcast, which is

1509
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:48,800
Speaker 1: much more important to me. But check out the f

1510
01:14:48,880 --> 01:14:51,400
Speaker 1: By Island trailer that came out today. No, what is

1511
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:58,280
Speaker 1: your worst injury? My worst one uh was um I uh,

1512
01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:04,160
Speaker 1: I injured my small toe. Um in class. Yeah yeah,

1513
01:15:04,240 --> 01:15:07,440
Speaker 1: I think we were for the pinky toe. Sorry my

1514
01:15:07,520 --> 01:15:12,520
Speaker 1: pinky toe. Well, it's you know, what's It's so small.

1515
01:15:12,640 --> 01:15:14,360
Speaker 1: It's not even a pinky toe. It's like almost like

1516
01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:17,000
Speaker 1: non existent. Oh you have a very very small it

1517
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:23,680
Speaker 1: gets a clip, yeah, a little tiny clip. But it

1518
01:15:23,760 --> 01:15:26,880
Speaker 1: was so inconvenient because it was winter time. I couldn't wear,

1519
01:15:27,120 --> 01:15:29,599
Speaker 1: like to wear shoes was full. I had to like,

1520
01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:33,760
Speaker 1: you know, um, what's the word like like it's as

1521
01:15:33,760 --> 01:15:36,280
Speaker 1: if it like disabled my whole leg. And it was

1522
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:40,920
Speaker 1: a little stupid tiny toe that created two weeks of

1523
01:15:40,960 --> 01:15:44,519
Speaker 1: inconvenience and I couldn't train and I and my coach

1524
01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:46,240
Speaker 1: was like, where have you been the last two weeks?

1525
01:15:46,280 --> 01:15:48,880
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, you know, I had a

1526
01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:51,800
Speaker 1: a toe injury and those are the worst because you

1527
01:15:51,800 --> 01:15:53,880
Speaker 1: can't put a cast on it. Yeah, and he's like,

1528
01:15:54,720 --> 01:16:00,320
Speaker 1: your toe, yeah, yeah, that's the problem. Yeah. You're like,

1529
01:16:00,400 --> 01:16:02,240
Speaker 1: you might as well just like cut it off because

1530
01:16:02,240 --> 01:16:05,240
Speaker 1: it's only getting like it's but it does. You need

1531
01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:07,760
Speaker 1: it for balance, and you're right. You learn how much

1532
01:16:07,760 --> 01:16:11,479
Speaker 1: your little toe matters when you do injure it. It's

1533
01:16:11,520 --> 01:16:13,280
Speaker 1: like that it's a big part of your life because

1534
01:16:13,320 --> 01:16:16,320
Speaker 1: you're putting pressure on it all day. Yeah, it does suck.

1535
01:16:17,640 --> 01:16:19,760
Speaker 1: That is so small and so you can't bring it

1536
01:16:19,880 --> 01:16:23,679
Speaker 1: up like that sucks when something does hurt, but you're

1537
01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:27,599
Speaker 1: too shy to bring it up. Are you that tiger

1538
01:16:27,720 --> 01:16:32,240
Speaker 1: from that? Just it just skin cancer? Oh, it's melano Like.

1539
01:16:32,280 --> 01:16:34,479
Speaker 1: It's like, no, I'm sorry, I don't have liberty cancer.

1540
01:16:34,720 --> 01:16:39,200
Speaker 1: Sorry I don't have something big. Well, that's that's what

1541
01:16:39,280 --> 01:16:41,559
Speaker 1: how I feel about mental illnesses. No one ever looks

1542
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:45,679
Speaker 1: at it like uh, oh you got that. Your brain

1543
01:16:45,840 --> 01:16:48,479
Speaker 1: did that to you. It's always like why are you

1544
01:16:48,560 --> 01:16:51,880
Speaker 1: not eating? Why do you think you're God? Why do

1545
01:16:52,040 --> 01:16:55,080
Speaker 1: you why are you addicted to alcohol? It's never like

1546
01:16:55,640 --> 01:16:58,000
Speaker 1: oh my, it's never the same as we really need

1547
01:16:58,040 --> 01:16:59,960
Speaker 1: to look at it like you caught something. And that's

1548
01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:02,680
Speaker 1: what a lot of people write to me about their

1549
01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:05,360
Speaker 1: daughters or sons who are struggling with an eating disorder

1550
01:17:05,360 --> 01:17:07,519
Speaker 1: and what they need to say to them. And my

1551
01:17:07,880 --> 01:17:11,719
Speaker 1: biggest advice is always you and your son or daughter

1552
01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:14,840
Speaker 1: need to look at it like you are possessed like

1553
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:18,240
Speaker 1: the Exorcists. Go watch the Exorcist and think of anorexia

1554
01:17:18,400 --> 01:17:22,120
Speaker 1: as that, as as the devil, and then you all

1555
01:17:22,200 --> 01:17:26,120
Speaker 1: need to fight against that. Not blame the daughter or

1556
01:17:26,520 --> 01:17:29,080
Speaker 1: son for this decision, because it's not up to them

1557
01:17:29,120 --> 01:17:31,120
Speaker 1: that they're not eating. You need to all combat this

1558
01:17:31,240 --> 01:17:35,439
Speaker 1: like it's a separate entity. And that's the first. Yeah,

1559
01:17:35,520 --> 01:17:37,960
Speaker 1: well that's no up play it say it's a very

1560
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:40,680
Speaker 1: severe and it's and it's like it's like cancer, Like

1561
01:17:40,720 --> 01:17:43,640
Speaker 1: you wouldn't go, why do you have cancer? Like my

1562
01:17:43,720 --> 01:17:45,280
Speaker 1: dad probably would to my mom, he'd be like, what

1563
01:17:45,680 --> 01:17:48,040
Speaker 1: you eat splendor, Like he'd probably blame her. But um,

1564
01:17:48,040 --> 01:17:50,959
Speaker 1: that's the thing I should work out in therapy with therapists.

1565
01:17:51,040 --> 01:17:54,360
Speaker 1: What about your bottom one? Thanks, No, my bottom one

1566
01:17:54,720 --> 01:17:57,920
Speaker 1: is uh, it's kind of a two. I was thinking

1567
01:17:57,920 --> 01:17:59,800
Speaker 1: a twofold thing. It happened the same time in my life.

1568
01:18:00,040 --> 01:18:04,840
Speaker 1: I was jumping over a fence, drunken, very wasted um

1569
01:18:04,880 --> 01:18:07,400
Speaker 1: in Columbia, Missouri. I was I was doing a guest

1570
01:18:07,400 --> 01:18:13,080
Speaker 1: set for Jim Florentine show in two thousand four, and

1571
01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:16,120
Speaker 1: my sister was with us, Me and my sister, Greg Warren,

1572
01:18:16,200 --> 01:18:18,800
Speaker 1: Jim Florentine, and another girl at her apartment complex in

1573
01:18:18,840 --> 01:18:23,400
Speaker 1: Columbia after a show, wasted sneaking into a um a pool,

1574
01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:26,240
Speaker 1: jumping over a large fence. My flip flop went to

1575
01:18:26,280 --> 01:18:27,840
Speaker 1: the side and I was like, I've got it. I

1576
01:18:27,880 --> 01:18:29,800
Speaker 1: went first, I went over my flip flap, went to

1577
01:18:29,880 --> 01:18:33,040
Speaker 1: the side, slam my heel on the pavement. Did not

1578
01:18:33,280 --> 01:18:36,360
Speaker 1: feel it until the next morning, and I broke my heel,

1579
01:18:36,400 --> 01:18:38,040
Speaker 1: which is the hardest bone to break in your bodies,

1580
01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:43,559
Speaker 1: like the thickest bone. Until weeks later. I got crutches,

1581
01:18:43,640 --> 01:18:46,200
Speaker 1: got a boot, got everything, but didn't go to the

1582
01:18:46,200 --> 01:18:48,040
Speaker 1: doctor because my parents said it was just bruised and

1583
01:18:48,040 --> 01:18:49,600
Speaker 1: that I was over exaggerating. I was living with my

1584
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:51,599
Speaker 1: parents at the time. I was working at CPK California

1585
01:18:51,600 --> 01:18:54,040
Speaker 1: Pizza Kitchen. I was walking around with gel inserts in

1586
01:18:54,160 --> 01:18:56,600
Speaker 1: my make it better. Finally went to the doctor and

1587
01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:58,720
Speaker 1: they were like, yeah, you broke your heel. This is

1588
01:18:59,040 --> 01:19:01,080
Speaker 1: really impossible to do. How far did you fall? All

1589
01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:03,759
Speaker 1: these things and it was like the whole thing another

1590
01:19:04,160 --> 01:19:06,640
Speaker 1: During the same time, I was also actually this a

1591
01:19:06,640 --> 01:19:08,200
Speaker 1: couple of years later, but let me just add this

1592
01:19:08,240 --> 01:19:11,440
Speaker 1: on to it. I was getting a um a Brazilian

1593
01:19:11,439 --> 01:19:13,599
Speaker 1: wax from a girl that I met, and I was

1594
01:19:13,680 --> 01:19:15,800
Speaker 1: she was doing it was like her she had just

1595
01:19:15,800 --> 01:19:17,800
Speaker 1: started this business of like waxing. She had just gotten

1596
01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:21,719
Speaker 1: her essition's license. Something happened during it. I got uh

1597
01:19:21,760 --> 01:19:24,080
Speaker 1: my wax for the first time, my boyfriend was coming

1598
01:19:24,080 --> 01:19:25,840
Speaker 1: to visit from New York and visit me, so I

1599
01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:27,599
Speaker 1: want my pussy wax. My parents were out of town.

1600
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:32,320
Speaker 1: We're gonna have the house to ourselves. I for whatever reason,

1601
01:19:32,880 --> 01:19:35,439
Speaker 1: this is really gross. I'm so sorry. Every single hair

1602
01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:38,360
Speaker 1: follicle where I would used to have hair follicles turned

1603
01:19:38,400 --> 01:19:41,160
Speaker 1: into a a white head, like a pussing white head.

1604
01:19:41,400 --> 01:19:43,360
Speaker 1: So I had to go around and like pop each

1605
01:19:43,360 --> 01:19:47,519
Speaker 1: of them, hundreds hundreds, thousands, perhaps all over my vagina.

1606
01:19:47,560 --> 01:19:50,200
Speaker 1: I mean, it was the grossest thing I've ever witnessed. Um,

1607
01:19:50,240 --> 01:19:51,760
Speaker 1: I couldn't have sex. I had to put a cover

1608
01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:53,479
Speaker 1: over it to have sex. It was painful to have sex,

1609
01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:54,960
Speaker 1: but I still wanted to have sex because I was

1610
01:19:55,120 --> 01:19:57,400
Speaker 1: just trying to please him and and needed sex to

1611
01:19:57,479 --> 01:20:01,599
Speaker 1: validate myself at the time. Got infected, got a staff infection,

1612
01:20:01,800 --> 01:20:05,120
Speaker 1: which my parents uh told me was a bug bite

1613
01:20:05,120 --> 01:20:06,439
Speaker 1: because it was like there was one on the like

1614
01:20:06,560 --> 01:20:08,160
Speaker 1: near my belly button, like kind of up on my

1615
01:20:08,240 --> 01:20:11,000
Speaker 1: happy trail, one on my lower thigh that I could

1616
01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:12,400
Speaker 1: show my parents, and one on my butt, and I

1617
01:20:12,439 --> 01:20:15,240
Speaker 1: was like these It was after my the other stuff

1618
01:20:15,280 --> 01:20:17,840
Speaker 1: had healed, and I was like, these hurts so bad.

1619
01:20:17,880 --> 01:20:19,679
Speaker 1: They were like looks like a bug bite, just going

1620
01:20:19,800 --> 01:20:23,280
Speaker 1: epps and salt bath. It wasn't going away. The pain

1621
01:20:23,400 --> 01:20:25,920
Speaker 1: of these bites was shooting pain throughout my whole body,

1622
01:20:26,400 --> 01:20:29,639
Speaker 1: like it was just a weird kind of like down

1623
01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:31,600
Speaker 1: my leg, you know. Went to the doctor and she

1624
01:20:31,720 --> 01:20:33,920
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, you have mersa. I got

1625
01:20:33,920 --> 01:20:36,400
Speaker 1: a mersa which can kill you, and you need to

1626
01:20:36,400 --> 01:20:39,200
Speaker 1: be like quarantine when you have it. Um. I went

1627
01:20:39,240 --> 01:20:41,800
Speaker 1: to San Francisco, took the meds. The one of the

1628
01:20:42,000 --> 01:20:44,479
Speaker 1: bumps popped on the plane. It was the best feeling

1629
01:20:44,520 --> 01:20:47,519
Speaker 1: of my life because it like just instant relief. Um.

1630
01:20:47,560 --> 01:20:49,479
Speaker 1: But that was the worst injury because it was all

1631
01:20:49,520 --> 01:20:52,439
Speaker 1: done for vanity and sucked. Okay, best injury, Andrew, I

1632
01:20:52,479 --> 01:20:56,519
Speaker 1: do love that you still had sex with them. I

1633
01:20:56,600 --> 01:21:00,759
Speaker 1: was a sex addict. Yeah, it's like a football player

1634
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:04,880
Speaker 1: playing with a broken leg. Worst best injury, Andrew, Um.

1635
01:21:05,080 --> 01:21:08,760
Speaker 1: Best injury, I would have to say getting stabbed. It was,

1636
01:21:09,160 --> 01:21:12,280
Speaker 1: you know, yeah with a bulletproof vest on. Yeah. I Um,

1637
01:21:12,680 --> 01:21:15,320
Speaker 1: I was visiting my brother at I'll just tell it quick,

1638
01:21:15,360 --> 01:21:17,519
Speaker 1: but I was visiting my brother at tu Lane. His

1639
01:21:17,600 --> 01:21:20,479
Speaker 1: roommate was the next Navy seal he had on. He

1640
01:21:20,560 --> 01:21:23,720
Speaker 1: had a bulletproof vest in his closet. I tried it on.

1641
01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:25,559
Speaker 1: He goes, look, it's knife proof. And he stabbed me.

1642
01:21:25,920 --> 01:21:27,960
Speaker 1: And it went through the vest and into my chest.

1643
01:21:28,760 --> 01:21:32,000
Speaker 1: And he was it was just millimeters away. You would

1644
01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:35,200
Speaker 1: have probably would have collapsed, and I would have I

1645
01:21:35,200 --> 01:21:37,360
Speaker 1: would have died. I thought my heart was pumping blood

1646
01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:40,120
Speaker 1: because the start spangled banner. He we went to the

1647
01:21:40,200 --> 01:21:41,800
Speaker 1: emergency room. He told me, I had to tell the

1648
01:21:41,960 --> 01:21:45,800
Speaker 1: wait Noah and I are very what you thought you

1649
01:21:45,800 --> 01:21:48,080
Speaker 1: were what you thought your heart was pumping blood because

1650
01:21:48,080 --> 01:21:50,320
Speaker 1: of the star spangled banner. They got stabbed on the

1651
01:21:50,400 --> 01:21:52,320
Speaker 1: left side. He got stopped. He got stabbed on the

1652
01:21:52,400 --> 01:21:54,080
Speaker 1: left side of his chest. And so when you it's

1653
01:21:54,080 --> 01:21:55,599
Speaker 1: a pledge of allegiance. By the way, when you sing

1654
01:21:55,600 --> 01:21:57,680
Speaker 1: the Pledge of Allegiance, you put your hand the star

1655
01:21:57,760 --> 01:22:01,000
Speaker 1: spangled banner. Two, okay, whatever, So that so that makes sense.

1656
01:22:01,040 --> 01:22:03,240
Speaker 1: I love that we had to decipher what this meant.

1657
01:22:04,240 --> 01:22:06,240
Speaker 1: But it's true. Your heart is more in the center

1658
01:22:06,280 --> 01:22:07,960
Speaker 1: of your chest. So he thought where he got stabbed

1659
01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:09,600
Speaker 1: was where he put his hand for the Pledge of

1660
01:22:09,680 --> 01:22:13,200
Speaker 1: legiance slash starge angled pinner. It wasn't though, he thought,

1661
01:22:13,320 --> 01:22:15,559
Speaker 1: because on the left side it was his heart that

1662
01:22:15,600 --> 01:22:17,920
Speaker 1: was stabbed, But it wasn't. It was his lung and

1663
01:22:17,960 --> 01:22:19,719
Speaker 1: his Your heart is more in the center of your chests.

1664
01:22:19,880 --> 01:22:22,519
Speaker 1: And turns out the navy seal was not a Navy seal.

1665
01:22:22,760 --> 01:22:24,799
Speaker 1: He was the lead singer of a band that Andrew

1666
01:22:24,840 --> 01:22:28,240
Speaker 1: then saw the next night. Oddly enough, on stage, Um,

1667
01:22:28,600 --> 01:22:30,960
Speaker 1: he had to lie to the cops about being stabbed

1668
01:22:30,960 --> 01:22:33,120
Speaker 1: because the Navy seal came in and threatened him. So

1669
01:22:33,200 --> 01:22:35,840
Speaker 1: he said that a dog attacked him and he was

1670
01:22:35,880 --> 01:22:38,519
Speaker 1: trying to get the dog away and accidentally stabbed himself

1671
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:40,840
Speaker 1: and that's the cops kind of believed it, but didn't

1672
01:22:40,920 --> 01:22:43,800
Speaker 1: at all. And uh that that's the story, right, and

1673
01:22:43,840 --> 01:22:47,519
Speaker 1: he was never a Navy seal he lied, ye, and

1674
01:22:47,720 --> 01:22:49,800
Speaker 1: uh yeah. And then and then you went to too

1675
01:22:49,880 --> 01:22:51,960
Speaker 1: Lane because that visit was so exciting, you decided. I

1676
01:22:53,160 --> 01:22:54,720
Speaker 1: met a girl the next night and showed her I

1677
01:22:54,760 --> 01:22:57,120
Speaker 1: got stabbed, and we went home together, but I wouldn't

1678
01:22:57,160 --> 01:22:59,360
Speaker 1: have sex with her because I thought she did have aids.

1679
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:04,080
Speaker 1: Huh do you do you have a scar from that sap?

1680
01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:08,160
Speaker 1: Let's see, it's right here, it's a puncture. It would

1681
01:23:08,160 --> 01:23:10,880
Speaker 1: be cool. I asked him to slash me because it

1682
01:23:10,880 --> 01:23:12,760
Speaker 1: would look should get a tattoo of like a scar.

1683
01:23:13,400 --> 01:23:17,679
Speaker 1: Uh no, your best injury, okay, my best injury also

1684
01:23:17,760 --> 01:23:21,120
Speaker 1: involves my toe, but involves my big toe. Oh my god,

1685
01:23:21,200 --> 01:23:29,760
Speaker 1: it's a toe off thumb? What is your Yeah, but

1686
01:23:29,840 --> 01:23:31,040
Speaker 1: we don't have a name for that one. That is

1687
01:23:31,080 --> 01:23:33,280
Speaker 1: weird that the pinky transfers but the thumb does not.

1688
01:23:34,160 --> 01:23:37,599
Speaker 1: Although Andrew, your your thumbs look like big toes, so

1689
01:23:37,760 --> 01:23:40,360
Speaker 1: maybe it's your your We should just call thumbs big

1690
01:23:40,400 --> 01:23:47,000
Speaker 1: toes thumb thumping. I was a teenager and I had

1691
01:23:47,040 --> 01:23:50,400
Speaker 1: just get knocked down and then no one gets up again.

1692
01:23:51,479 --> 01:23:54,960
Speaker 1: Actually same era. I had gotten l A gear speakers,

1693
01:23:55,720 --> 01:24:01,160
Speaker 1: remember those, and I was like cute, but they were

1694
01:24:01,200 --> 01:24:04,200
Speaker 1: I guess, like too tight, like a size too small.

1695
01:24:04,680 --> 01:24:07,840
Speaker 1: And my big toe ended up getting infected. And I

1696
01:24:07,840 --> 01:24:09,640
Speaker 1: remember being at my friend's house and I'm just like,

1697
01:24:09,640 --> 01:24:11,800
Speaker 1: oh my god, my toe just feels so swollen. And

1698
01:24:11,840 --> 01:24:15,400
Speaker 1: I pushed on the nail and like all this puss

1699
01:24:15,520 --> 01:24:23,400
Speaker 1: came out, like popped out. I'm so sorry to anyone listening,

1700
01:24:23,439 --> 01:24:25,800
Speaker 1: but if you survived Nicki's story, you could live through this. Yeah.

1701
01:24:25,880 --> 01:24:30,560
Speaker 1: My pussy was puffy. I'm sorry, my pussy was pussy.

1702
01:24:31,240 --> 01:24:34,400
Speaker 1: I had a pussy, so you had a pussy tote.

1703
01:24:34,520 --> 01:24:35,960
Speaker 1: So you push on the toe, And what is the

1704
01:24:35,960 --> 01:24:38,760
Speaker 1: best one is that? Well it's the best one because

1705
01:24:38,760 --> 01:24:41,240
Speaker 1: it created this like click sound that I can still

1706
01:24:41,240 --> 01:24:43,960
Speaker 1: hear in my head. And then after I just like

1707
01:24:44,200 --> 01:24:46,160
Speaker 1: was like it gross and like I wiped it off

1708
01:24:46,200 --> 01:24:47,720
Speaker 1: and then the toe healed. I didn't have to do it.

1709
01:24:47,720 --> 01:24:50,559
Speaker 1: I didn't was the best. Okay, that is a good

1710
01:24:50,600 --> 01:24:54,759
Speaker 1: story when you can heal yourself. Um, Okay, my best

1711
01:24:54,800 --> 01:24:58,160
Speaker 1: injury is the one I've given myself over and over

1712
01:24:58,240 --> 01:25:01,840
Speaker 1: by scalpeling off my wart on my knee, and I

1713
01:25:01,880 --> 01:25:03,760
Speaker 1: love it so much. Right, I forgot my scalpel on

1714
01:25:03,760 --> 01:25:05,559
Speaker 1: this trip, so I might go order some more on

1715
01:25:05,560 --> 01:25:07,479
Speaker 1: Amazon to have them delivered to this hotel that I

1716
01:25:07,520 --> 01:25:09,920
Speaker 1: might not be saying it because I'm blackmailed him. Um,

1717
01:25:10,160 --> 01:25:13,559
Speaker 1: but I love my warts. Yes, session, Nikki, you posted

1718
01:25:13,800 --> 01:25:17,559
Speaker 1: a photo on Instagram, um holding the Gibson and I

1719
01:25:17,600 --> 01:25:19,160
Speaker 1: was like trying to look for it on your knee

1720
01:25:19,520 --> 01:25:21,840
Speaker 1: but I couldn't. Oh yeah, you can see it in

1721
01:25:21,880 --> 01:25:24,120
Speaker 1: that you can see it on that picture. Hold on,

1722
01:25:24,200 --> 01:25:26,200
Speaker 1: let me show you I think you can because I

1723
01:25:26,680 --> 01:25:29,280
Speaker 1: maybe actually I I picked one that you couldn't because

1724
01:25:29,280 --> 01:25:31,120
Speaker 1: I was like, oh yeah, you can't. Okay. If you

1725
01:25:31,200 --> 01:25:33,960
Speaker 1: zoom in on my picture of holding the Goodson in

1726
01:25:33,960 --> 01:25:37,320
Speaker 1: the stairwell, it is on my right knee and it's

1727
01:25:37,320 --> 01:25:41,080
Speaker 1: a little it's really dark because I put on tanning

1728
01:25:41,120 --> 01:25:44,400
Speaker 1: stuff and the tanning stuff made the scar over it

1729
01:25:44,520 --> 01:25:47,000
Speaker 1: get darker, and so right now it's like brown and

1730
01:25:47,040 --> 01:25:49,040
Speaker 1: you can see it. And I just sliced it off

1731
01:25:49,080 --> 01:25:52,000
Speaker 1: every four days and um, and I love it. It's

1732
01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:56,679
Speaker 1: my favorite injury. I love removing warts. I really, I'm serious.

1733
01:25:56,760 --> 01:26:00,200
Speaker 1: If any fans have warts, you can maybe get a

1734
01:26:00,200 --> 01:26:03,080
Speaker 1: backstage pass for me. And I mostly want to do women.

1735
01:26:03,240 --> 01:26:05,160
Speaker 1: Let me just say to women fans, if you have

1736
01:26:05,200 --> 01:26:06,880
Speaker 1: a callous or if you have a wart on the

1737
01:26:06,920 --> 01:26:10,840
Speaker 1: bottom of your foot that you would like me to treat, um,

1738
01:26:11,080 --> 01:26:14,719
Speaker 1: I and you sign over the for me to attack

1739
01:26:14,760 --> 01:26:17,080
Speaker 1: it with the scalpel, a clean one. UM that I

1740
01:26:17,120 --> 01:26:19,240
Speaker 1: will not give you merca with you know, I try

1741
01:26:19,280 --> 01:26:21,400
Speaker 1: not to. Uh. You can write to me on Instagram.

1742
01:26:21,400 --> 01:26:23,120
Speaker 1: We can work out a plan, but that is also

1743
01:26:23,200 --> 01:26:24,680
Speaker 1: not the best way to get to meet me. You

1744
01:26:24,720 --> 01:26:27,120
Speaker 1: can also buy meet and greets. But I definitely need

1745
01:26:27,160 --> 01:26:29,519
Speaker 1: to be doing this more often in my life. Let's

1746
01:26:29,520 --> 01:26:33,280
Speaker 1: get to final thought. Andrew, I'm gonna ask you to

1747
01:26:33,320 --> 01:26:35,280
Speaker 1: tell this story. It's a sensitive one, but I think

1748
01:26:35,280 --> 01:26:37,880
Speaker 1: our listeners need to hear it because we were laughing

1749
01:26:38,400 --> 01:26:41,960
Speaker 1: so hard on Saturday night. Because at the after party,

1750
01:26:42,000 --> 01:26:43,800
Speaker 1: the casino had an after party for me called the

1751
01:26:43,880 --> 01:26:47,200
Speaker 1: Nicky Glazer after Party, and it was at um after

1752
01:26:47,240 --> 01:26:49,320
Speaker 1: my show at this bar in the casino, a really

1753
01:26:49,400 --> 01:26:51,599
Speaker 1: nice bar. They had like this quarantine section for me

1754
01:26:51,640 --> 01:26:54,360
Speaker 1: with ropes velvet ropes, and I go, I don't need

1755
01:26:54,400 --> 01:26:57,200
Speaker 1: to sit there. Looks ridiculous. I'm an exhibit at an

1756
01:26:57,280 --> 01:26:59,080
Speaker 1: art museum because the place was not crowd enough to

1757
01:26:59,160 --> 01:27:01,479
Speaker 1: have a v I P. So let me just sit

1758
01:27:01,560 --> 01:27:04,040
Speaker 1: over here. It looks like you should have a plaque

1759
01:27:04,080 --> 01:27:09,439
Speaker 1: like Nicky Glazer speech human, Like you know, someone has

1760
01:27:09,439 --> 01:27:11,919
Speaker 1: a table at a at a place that isn't crowded.

1761
01:27:11,960 --> 01:27:14,639
Speaker 1: It's like you spend and I go, no, no, no,

1762
01:27:14,680 --> 01:27:16,360
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go over to this other section be

1763
01:27:16,400 --> 01:27:20,519
Speaker 1: amongst the people. And Andrew got this is this is

1764
01:27:20,520 --> 01:27:22,799
Speaker 1: a thing that happens sometimes. It shows that really annoys

1765
01:27:22,800 --> 01:27:25,519
Speaker 1: me and I get it, but sometimes they're fans of

1766
01:27:25,560 --> 01:27:27,360
Speaker 1: Andrews that come to my shows and they want to

1767
01:27:27,400 --> 01:27:29,720
Speaker 1: make it very clear to me that they didn't come

1768
01:27:29,760 --> 01:27:33,040
Speaker 1: for me and they came for Andrew. And it's happened

1769
01:27:33,080 --> 01:27:35,160
Speaker 1: to me as an opener as well. People have done

1770
01:27:35,200 --> 01:27:37,680
Speaker 1: this to me when I opened for different comedians. They

1771
01:27:37,680 --> 01:27:40,320
Speaker 1: would ignore the headliner when we would walk in somewhere

1772
01:27:40,360 --> 01:27:42,640
Speaker 1: and go, you were amazing to me, just to like

1773
01:27:42,720 --> 01:27:44,680
Speaker 1: rub it in the headliner's face that they didn't I

1774
01:27:44,680 --> 01:27:48,160
Speaker 1: didn't come for you. You get enough attention. So this girl,

1775
01:27:48,240 --> 01:27:51,240
Speaker 1: I walked in this club and this girl comes. Andrew's

1776
01:27:51,280 --> 01:27:53,560
Speaker 1: next to me, and she comes up to Andrew and

1777
01:27:53,640 --> 01:27:56,040
Speaker 1: it's like, I have a table of girls that need

1778
01:27:56,080 --> 01:27:58,040
Speaker 1: to meet you. They love you so much and totally

1779
01:27:58,080 --> 01:28:00,600
Speaker 1: ignores me. Can't even be like great show, Hey, we

1780
01:28:00,800 --> 01:28:05,680
Speaker 1: like Andrew just like so so definitely not best. These

1781
01:28:05,680 --> 01:28:09,519
Speaker 1: these are puddleheads for sure, and they came over. I

1782
01:28:09,520 --> 01:28:11,320
Speaker 1: don't care if you don't like me. I literally literally

1783
01:28:11,360 --> 01:28:13,000
Speaker 1: please come to the shows of you're a fan of

1784
01:28:13,040 --> 01:28:15,240
Speaker 1: Andrew and like come like just say for him and

1785
01:28:15,280 --> 01:28:16,880
Speaker 1: then leave after me. I don't I don't care, but

1786
01:28:16,960 --> 01:28:19,880
Speaker 1: just if you witness me, don't be rude unless I've

1787
01:28:19,880 --> 01:28:21,920
Speaker 1: done something to actually hurt your feelings. Confront me about it.

1788
01:28:21,960 --> 01:28:24,519
Speaker 1: Don't just be rude and ignore me. So I have

1789
01:28:24,600 --> 01:28:27,240
Speaker 1: feelings too. And so this girl comes up to Andrew.

1790
01:28:27,360 --> 01:28:30,639
Speaker 1: And this girl has definitely like a maybe spinal disorder.

1791
01:28:31,120 --> 01:28:33,720
Speaker 1: She's kind of like hunched over and like has a

1792
01:28:34,160 --> 01:28:38,000
Speaker 1: has some kind of affliction like a bone thing, maybe

1793
01:28:38,040 --> 01:28:42,160
Speaker 1: spina bifida or some version of that. Cute, adorable girl.

1794
01:28:42,479 --> 01:28:43,920
Speaker 1: And she comes with the Andrew. She goes there's a

1795
01:28:43,960 --> 01:28:46,000
Speaker 1: bachelor party. They want to meet you, and they're in

1796
01:28:46,000 --> 01:28:49,000
Speaker 1: this like section, and so I he who goes off

1797
01:28:49,040 --> 01:28:52,240
Speaker 1: with his I had a thought too that they sent

1798
01:28:52,360 --> 01:28:55,760
Speaker 1: her over because there's no way I would tell her no,

1799
01:28:56,640 --> 01:28:59,200
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like a girl with like

1800
01:28:59,240 --> 01:29:02,640
Speaker 1: I thought, now I that that's just a girl. If

1801
01:29:02,680 --> 01:29:05,679
Speaker 1: you if you live with a condition like that, you

1802
01:29:06,000 --> 01:29:09,800
Speaker 1: either stay inside because you're so scared of people talking

1803
01:29:09,800 --> 01:29:12,240
Speaker 1: about you, or you just turn it off and you

1804
01:29:12,280 --> 01:29:15,519
Speaker 1: don't care anymore. But you Yeah, she was awesome, and

1805
01:29:15,520 --> 01:29:16,720
Speaker 1: you could tell this girl just had a lot of

1806
01:29:16,720 --> 01:29:20,559
Speaker 1: confidence and like didn't didn't wasn't worried about what we

1807
01:29:20,640 --> 01:29:23,320
Speaker 1: might think based on her physical appearance, and I really

1808
01:29:23,320 --> 01:29:24,960
Speaker 1: actually like that about her, But she was rude to

1809
01:29:24,960 --> 01:29:26,240
Speaker 1: not say anything to me, and it had nothing to

1810
01:29:26,240 --> 01:29:29,520
Speaker 1: do with her condition. She was just rude. So she

1811
01:29:29,200 --> 01:29:31,719
Speaker 1: she shakes it Andrew over to this group of girls.

1812
01:29:31,720 --> 01:29:34,000
Speaker 1: One of them is wearing a bachelorette like sash across.

1813
01:29:34,040 --> 01:29:35,800
Speaker 1: You know, it's a group of rowdy girls, and he

1814
01:29:35,840 --> 01:29:38,080
Speaker 1: goes over to meet them. Were they puddleheads? How did

1815
01:29:38,080 --> 01:29:41,280
Speaker 1: they know you from girls got to eat or something?

1816
01:29:41,920 --> 01:29:45,200
Speaker 1: I didn't get into that. Okay, I'm sure they made

1817
01:29:45,200 --> 01:29:46,800
Speaker 1: some comment to you of like you were the best

1818
01:29:46,880 --> 01:29:49,960
Speaker 1: or something like that, even though you know it's I'm

1819
01:29:49,960 --> 01:29:53,680
Speaker 1: sure they did that. No, I'm not sure about it.

1820
01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:55,120
Speaker 1: I think it's really rude and I've seen it. It

1821
01:29:55,160 --> 01:29:57,000
Speaker 1: has happened to me as an opener before, so I

1822
01:29:57,040 --> 01:30:00,840
Speaker 1: know what happens to you all the time. They had No. No,

1823
01:30:01,600 --> 01:30:03,360
Speaker 1: we don't get off on it. No one likes that.

1824
01:30:03,439 --> 01:30:05,840
Speaker 1: But it's it's just a way for them to be like,

1825
01:30:05,920 --> 01:30:08,840
Speaker 1: I like you, not her. So I go over there

1826
01:30:08,880 --> 01:30:13,200
Speaker 1: and it's a bachelor at party. Um, they're they're not

1827
01:30:13,439 --> 01:30:16,080
Speaker 1: that rude, they're not that fucked up, you know, they're

1828
01:30:16,120 --> 01:30:18,840
Speaker 1: they're pretty with it. And the girl goes, you know,

1829
01:30:18,960 --> 01:30:21,840
Speaker 1: this was a great show, you know, in despite of

1830
01:30:21,880 --> 01:30:24,280
Speaker 1: what you think of what because I didn't say anything

1831
01:30:24,280 --> 01:30:26,439
Speaker 1: to you. They said this was unbelievable. I'm so happy

1832
01:30:26,479 --> 01:30:29,000
Speaker 1: that I got entertainment. This is the first live show

1833
01:30:29,040 --> 01:30:32,680
Speaker 1: we saw. You guys were incredible, including you, Nikki not

1834
01:30:32,840 --> 01:30:36,200
Speaker 1: on you though, and and uh no, and they were

1835
01:30:36,320 --> 01:30:39,760
Speaker 1: very nice. And the one goes, well, I'm going to

1836
01:30:39,800 --> 01:30:42,880
Speaker 1: see Dave Matthews and I'm going to see him three

1837
01:30:42,880 --> 01:30:46,599
Speaker 1: times in common than we think. Yeah, yeah, they're probably besties.

1838
01:30:46,760 --> 01:30:49,280
Speaker 1: So anyway, so then I go. I go to her.

1839
01:30:49,600 --> 01:30:51,599
Speaker 1: I go, oh, that's cool. She's like, well, I actually

1840
01:30:51,680 --> 01:30:54,720
Speaker 1: did see some live stuff. I go, oh, what did

1841
01:30:54,760 --> 01:30:58,280
Speaker 1: you see? And she was probably like the music was blasting,

1842
01:30:58,400 --> 01:31:00,720
Speaker 1: and she was like three feet away from me, and

1843
01:31:00,800 --> 01:31:03,559
Speaker 1: she looks at me and she goes, you know, and

1844
01:31:03,600 --> 01:31:05,840
Speaker 1: she's just I could just see her mouth moving. She's like,

1845
01:31:07,280 --> 01:31:09,960
Speaker 1: I could just see her make out the R word

1846
01:31:10,439 --> 01:31:14,240
Speaker 1: and our word. And then and then I saw them dancing,

1847
01:31:14,360 --> 01:31:18,040
Speaker 1: I thought, she said, and I go, I go, okay, cool.

1848
01:31:18,200 --> 01:31:20,439
Speaker 1: I was like, I go what And she goes and

1849
01:31:20,479 --> 01:31:23,040
Speaker 1: she says it again, and I go, yeah, all right,

1850
01:31:23,280 --> 01:31:25,960
Speaker 1: that's She's like what, And I go on, like, what

1851
01:31:26,040 --> 01:31:28,280
Speaker 1: are those circumstances where you literally had to ask her.

1852
01:31:28,360 --> 01:31:30,880
Speaker 1: It was getting a point where it's like because I

1853
01:31:30,920 --> 01:31:33,240
Speaker 1: can't understand four times I think and what she was,

1854
01:31:33,360 --> 01:31:36,439
Speaker 1: what I thought she was saying was clearly says to you.

1855
01:31:36,560 --> 01:31:39,080
Speaker 1: She clearly says to you. What you clearly here twice,

1856
01:31:39,240 --> 01:31:43,760
Speaker 1: at least twice is retards dancing. Yeah, we saw. I

1857
01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:46,400
Speaker 1: saw one live show. I saw retards dancing. And I

1858
01:31:46,439 --> 01:31:48,720
Speaker 1: go and you said back to her, because you you've

1859
01:31:48,760 --> 01:31:51,000
Speaker 1: not confirmed it twice that you heard retards dancing, and

1860
01:31:51,040 --> 01:31:56,360
Speaker 1: you say back, retards dancing, and they say what she goes, no,

1861
01:31:56,560 --> 01:31:59,120
Speaker 1: I saw. I forgot this second word, but she said, no,

1862
01:31:59,439 --> 01:32:02,880
Speaker 1: I saw cars, race car. I don't know where when

1863
01:32:02,920 --> 01:32:07,559
Speaker 1: I got wrong with dancing, probably race cars, um, race

1864
01:32:07,640 --> 01:32:13,479
Speaker 1: cars racing, something like that, yes, specifically, but it did

1865
01:32:13,560 --> 01:32:16,439
Speaker 1: sound like retards dancing, which, by the way, no one used.

1866
01:32:16,439 --> 01:32:17,960
Speaker 1: I don't even use that word I have. This is

1867
01:32:18,000 --> 01:32:20,280
Speaker 1: the only time I've used it because it's contextual to

1868
01:32:20,320 --> 01:32:23,280
Speaker 1: the story. Um, and you came back to tell me

1869
01:32:23,320 --> 01:32:27,400
Speaker 1: about it reminded me of old renegade, because how could

1870
01:32:27,400 --> 01:32:30,200
Speaker 1: it possibly be that? But you also and then we

1871
01:32:30,320 --> 01:32:33,280
Speaker 1: told the story to Anya because then was she Because

1872
01:32:33,320 --> 01:32:35,679
Speaker 1: the thing the irony is is this girl had a

1873
01:32:35,720 --> 01:32:38,639
Speaker 1: spinal affliction that I'm guessing at some point in her

1874
01:32:38,640 --> 01:32:40,679
Speaker 1: life if she's had it for a long time. Mean,

1875
01:32:40,760 --> 01:32:43,800
Speaker 1: people in school have used that word too, and she's

1876
01:32:43,800 --> 01:32:46,720
Speaker 1: been bullied with that race car. She's been bullied with

1877
01:32:46,760 --> 01:32:49,479
Speaker 1: that word before, which is just so sad to think.

1878
01:32:49,760 --> 01:32:53,920
Speaker 1: But the irony is that you this woman was there

1879
01:32:53,920 --> 01:32:55,519
Speaker 1: that's probably been bullied with that word, even though it

1880
01:32:55,520 --> 01:32:59,519
Speaker 1: had nothing to do. She's not mentally handicapped whatsoever. But

1881
01:32:59,680 --> 01:33:02,559
Speaker 1: people are stupid and when they see someone who's physically handicapped,

1882
01:33:02,600 --> 01:33:06,080
Speaker 1: sometimes they just say that word. So you use the

1883
01:33:06,120 --> 01:33:08,360
Speaker 1: word that this woman has probably been tortured with her

1884
01:33:08,400 --> 01:33:12,160
Speaker 1: whole life accidentally while you're trying to hear what she's

1885
01:33:12,200 --> 01:33:16,200
Speaker 1: saying to you. Her friend was saying it, but she

1886
01:33:16,320 --> 01:33:18,120
Speaker 1: was right next to her. She was there. But they

1887
01:33:18,160 --> 01:33:21,000
Speaker 1: were cool and they laughed about it. They laughed. I think, yes,

1888
01:33:21,080 --> 01:33:23,800
Speaker 1: they laughed about it. And I wanted to, like whisper,

1889
01:33:23,840 --> 01:33:26,040
Speaker 1: I wanted to walk over her and go, dare you saying?

1890
01:33:26,760 --> 01:33:28,680
Speaker 1: You know? Because I didn't want to start yelling at

1891
01:33:28,760 --> 01:33:30,559
Speaker 1: what if the music stopped, and now I'm just saying,

1892
01:33:30,680 --> 01:33:32,639
Speaker 1: next time, I think you should just say I just

1893
01:33:32,760 --> 01:33:36,439
Speaker 1: can't hear you like you should instead of saying retards dancing,

1894
01:33:36,479 --> 01:33:39,240
Speaker 1: because that seems crazy that anyone would say that. However,

1895
01:33:39,320 --> 01:33:41,040
Speaker 1: I do want to say I was telling you the

1896
01:33:41,080 --> 01:33:43,679
Speaker 1: story and we were laughing so hard that you thought

1897
01:33:43,720 --> 01:33:45,519
Speaker 1: they were saying they saw retards dancing, but it was

1898
01:33:45,560 --> 01:33:50,919
Speaker 1: really race cars racing. And I said to her, actually,

1899
01:33:51,200 --> 01:33:54,479
Speaker 1: the girl wasn't wrong because she did see that, because

1900
01:33:54,560 --> 01:33:56,760
Speaker 1: we all danced at the end of the show and

1901
01:33:56,840 --> 01:34:00,920
Speaker 1: that is exactly what it looked. Because Mark was so bad,

1902
01:34:01,320 --> 01:34:03,400
Speaker 1: I was like the iron The ironic part is that

1903
01:34:03,479 --> 01:34:06,360
Speaker 1: she did see retards dancing. I mean, it was us

1904
01:34:06,640 --> 01:34:08,240
Speaker 1: trying to remember this dance at the end of the

1905
01:34:08,240 --> 01:34:10,599
Speaker 1: show that no one was. Anya and I were both

1906
01:34:10,640 --> 01:34:13,719
Speaker 1: wearing way too short of skirts to be doing um,

1907
01:34:13,800 --> 01:34:16,400
Speaker 1: and it was so I'm sorry. I used that word

1908
01:34:16,400 --> 01:34:18,240
Speaker 1: a lot. If anyone's offended by that word, I don't

1909
01:34:18,320 --> 01:34:20,080
Speaker 1: use it in my normal life. It was only for

1910
01:34:20,120 --> 01:34:23,160
Speaker 1: the sake of the story. UM. Shout out to those girls.

1911
01:34:23,240 --> 01:34:25,120
Speaker 1: If you're besties, I love you and I'm sorry. Maybe

1912
01:34:25,160 --> 01:34:26,600
Speaker 1: you were just nervous that's why you didn't say hi

1913
01:34:26,600 --> 01:34:28,200
Speaker 1: to me. Thank you for listening to show today. We

1914
01:34:28,240 --> 01:34:30,160
Speaker 1: have so many more stories from this weekend to tell you.

1915
01:34:30,360 --> 01:34:32,720
Speaker 1: This week is gonna be amazing. I'm check out the

1916
01:34:32,720 --> 01:34:35,000
Speaker 1: f Boy Island trailer that just dropped. I'm sure you're

1917
01:34:35,000 --> 01:34:37,479
Speaker 1: gonna see it on my Instagram. Keep sending us voice

1918
01:34:37,520 --> 01:34:41,200
Speaker 1: memos and messages. Thank you. Meeting you guys for the

1919
01:34:41,200 --> 01:34:43,840
Speaker 1: first time this week. Some of you was that was

1920
01:34:43,960 --> 01:34:46,479
Speaker 1: everything that I wanted it to be. You are so amazing.

1921
01:34:46,479 --> 01:34:48,439
Speaker 1: You're my favorite fans I've ever had in my life.

1922
01:34:48,640 --> 01:34:50,959
Speaker 1: I want to do the show forever. I really appreciate

1923
01:34:51,000 --> 01:34:53,360
Speaker 1: you get others involved that you think deserved to be

1924
01:34:53,439 --> 01:34:56,640
Speaker 1: in our in our group, in a bestie and and

1925
01:34:56,720 --> 01:34:59,400
Speaker 1: with that, don't be kid, and uh, let's see it tomorrow.

1926
01:35:02,240 --> 01:35:03,320
Speaker 1: Fruit