WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Maller Report Card, Murder by Clipper 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:02.240 Cutbooms. 0:00:02.279 --> 0:00:05.360 If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:09.200 a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:12.480 of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:15.480 treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:19.440 rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:23.200 of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:29.600 Hour with Ben Mahller starts right now in the. 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:34.280 Air everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:36.120 Danny g Radio. 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:37.720 It is now Saturday. 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:40.320 You can listen whenever you want, obviously, but this is 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:43.920 being recorded early in the morning, on the twenty sixth 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:49.960 day of July, a Saturday morning, and on this podcast 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:54.080 that we hope to cover all the basis, including the 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:58.960 big performance last night, the random Mexican wrestler, and a 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:04.319 bunch of other stuff in the Malor Palooza postgame extravaganza. 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:06.560 But I thought we would begin since we're doing this 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:11.600 the morning after there was a historical performance getting a 0:01:11.640 --> 0:01:14.760 fair amount of attention from the baseball hard Oh's because 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:20.840 in Houston last night somebody named Nick Kurtz of the Athletics. 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:23.560 I think that's a baseball team, but not a good one. 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:26.880 Nick Kurtz hit not one, not two, not three, but 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:31.040 four home runs in one game. 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:34.320 At least pause between his first and last name. 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:37.039 I know, I know, right, you gotta be careful with that. 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:40.560 But anyway, they got the break out the Champagne and 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:44.840 Sacramento for these seven A's fans that are left. Rookie 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:48.800 Nick Kurtz the newest face of the Athletics. You think, now, Danny, 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:51.120 you were an A's fan back when they were in Oakland. 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:53.800 You know, you were younger and you go to A's games. 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:56.920 You've told the stories here back in the glory days 0:01:56.960 --> 0:01:59.800 of the A's when they had Ricky Henderson and Jose Canseeko, 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:02.760 people like that. And now they've got this Nick Kurtz guy, 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:06.320 the twentieth player in baseball to do it. The part 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:08.920 of the story which annoys me and I'm gonna be 0:02:09.960 --> 0:02:15.040 that guy, Danny is while four home runs, only twenty 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:17.440 people have done it in baseball history. There has to 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:20.760 be an asterisk on the fourth home run, the fourth 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:25.080 home run, that last majestic moonshot by Nick Kurtz of 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:25.760 the Athletics. 0:02:26.120 --> 0:02:27.919 You know who it came against? Who do you think 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:28.839 came against. 0:02:28.639 --> 0:02:30.959 Well, do you think it came against Nolan Ryan or 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:33.520 you think it came against you know, any other great 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:39.600 astro pitch. No, it came off a position player Houston cheating. 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:44.720 Asstros had given up, they waved the white flag. I 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:47.160 guess the trash cans weren't working in that game last night. 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:50.440 The buzzers must have been broken, so they essentially forfeited 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:52.760 at the end of the game, and they sent in 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:56.880 some young left fielder I've never heard of who had 0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:59.440 a faint pulse and you know, one of the you know, 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:03.840 lobbing up some sixty eight mile an hour meatball, and 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:07.000 you know, it was like a beer league softball situation. 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:09.919 And so he hit his fourth home run. 0:03:09.960 --> 0:03:13.120 But you've got you've got to put an assus on 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:14.440 that that's not against a. 0:03:14.360 --> 0:03:16.359 Big league pitcher. And this is now. 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:19.280 Dave Roberts loves doing this, the Dodgers manager. How many 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:22.120 times have the Dodgers either been up by ten runs. 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:26.200 He sends out Kei k Hernandez gl Rojas guys like that. 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:29.240 Yeah, he loves doing that. He loves doing that. And 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:33.160 so listen to me, that's a three and a half 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:33.679 home run. 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:37.040 Game, the last home run came off of a lollipop 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:39.160 pitch like the one you threw in Bakersfield. 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:43.480 Well, no, the pitches that I that's a bad take 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:47.080 by you. The pitches that I throw, Danny, are unhittable. 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:51.440 And that is a legitimate that's called an ephis pitch, 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:56.960 that's a legitimate pitch that has been proven successful over 0:03:57.600 --> 0:03:59.640 seventy years in baseball, last seventy. 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:01.440 Years, very successful. 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:05.920 So yeah, yeah, not exactly, Babe Ruth calling a shot 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:10.720 last night in in Houston a bit tarnished. We also 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:13.680 had a trade. There were a couple of trades. The 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:15.400 one I got a couple of emails. I guess i'll 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:17.040 address this year so I don't have to talk about 0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:18.640 it when I come back to work on. 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:20.120 The radio show on Sunday night. 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:25.200 The New York Yankees made a trade yesterday. They got 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:29.520 Ryan McMahon, who now I'm actually happy about this, Danny. 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:31.680 I was worried that Dodgers were to get Ryan McMahon 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:34.000 from the Rockies, so I'm glad. 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:36.120 That he's going to the to the Yankees. 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:40.679 And another player that Brian Cashman has picked up who 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:44.359 looks like an All star because the Rockies have to 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:47.320 have an All Star and another guy that is just 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:50.880 a mirage when he leaves Coors Field, so good luck 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:54.680 on that. When he's playing in Denver, Ryan McMahon, he 0:04:54.760 --> 0:04:57.800 looks like Juan Soto and when he's lead. When he's 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:01.000 outside Denver, he plays like Nick Punto, so good luck 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:04.760 with that. And if he was a Mexican wrestler, Ryan 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:08.320 McMahon outside of Colorado would be l Stinko. 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:10.320 And now he is a New York Yankee. 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:13.200 And there were rumors the Yankees were gonna go out 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:16.479 and get O'Neil Cruz, who's got the razzle dazzle. 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:18.360 Even though he's batting like two point fifteen. 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:23.880 Or Gino Suarez of the Diamondbacks, and instead they got 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:29.640 Ryan McMahon. Ryan McMahon is who they got, so good 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:34.000 defensive player who can't hit Other than that, you know, 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:37.440 whoo pee Dando, congratulations. 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:39.600 Way to go, way to go on that. 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:44.800 And what else do I am into the nfl PA story, Danny, 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:46.480 I think that's a pretty good story. 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:49.560 That the NFL Players Association. 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.920 How many stories have we seen over the last couple 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:59.040 of years, these self righteous chest pounding protectors of the 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:03.680 players you know, come off as total douchebags. And apparently, 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:08.960 if this report is accurate, they have had their hand 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.560 not just in the cookie jar, they have been elbowed 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:13.640 deep in. 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:14.200 The cookie jar. 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:18.200 This is not some little accounting error, if you know 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:23.000 where I'm going with this. It's not some just slight misuse. 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:28.200 Of union funds. It's major personal enrichment. 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:31.520 Like this is a massive story, and the FEDS are 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:37.840 now investigating this. And there are some people who scream 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:44.279 about player rights and it's not fair, you know, safety protocols, 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:49.360 all this stuff, and the union that the same people 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:52.479 that preach all that stuff, if this story is right, 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:59.240 are siphoning money from the players while they are preaching 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:04.360 and they're giving sermons about it's not fair and all 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.360 this stuff, trying to protect the players, they're out there 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:12.640 taking money, which is just outstanding when you think about 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:16.600 all the times we've seen quotes about player empowerment and 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:19.440 they want transparency and all this stuff. 0:07:19.960 --> 0:07:21.160 And it turns out. 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:27.280 The only thing the union's empowered has been their bank accounts. 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:31.120 That they've been powered up on that, and so every 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:34.240 time they send out some story ripping the owners. There's 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:38.360 a three part docu series with the dramatic violins and 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:44.000 the slow motion shots of NFL executives walking around, and 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:48.760 yet I don't get the same vitriol for this particular story. 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:51.120 Are you seeing that? I'm not seeing that, Danny. It 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:51.840 doesn't seem to. 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:55.760 Be the yin to the yang here that I know. 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:58.200 Why that is is we don't really know who the 0:07:58.280 --> 0:07:59.160 union people are. 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:01.560 I have no idea what these people are. 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:06.440 And we're not getting the sermons about bad optics in 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:07.760 the NFL and all that stuff. 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:09.239 But that's a terrible story. 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:13.600 If the players are sending money in and the people 0:08:13.680 --> 0:08:17.400 running the union are taking that money and shaving a 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:19.560 little off the top so they can buy Porsches and 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:22.480 BMW's and god only knows what Ben. 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:26.040 We've been hearing about how dirty this union has been 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:29.280 for years, and stories about how they're in bed with 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:31.760 the league and they're not really there for the players. 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:33.640 Yeah, no, it's it's wild. 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:36.680 I mean, this is over the top, and the fact 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:40.480 that the people could go to jail now, so it's 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:43.760 just listen. I don't want to hear about the slogans 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:48.080 and the hashtags and the rally around the players, the 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:54.280 player empowerment speeches when the books are being cooked like 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:59.640 a barbecue on the beach in late July, sell me 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:03.160 a little. I did want to get to the Mallard 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:08.120 Palooza twenty twenty five post game show as advertised. As advertised, Danny, 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:12.240 this past week we had the biggest event in overnight 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:13.000 sports radio. 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:16.480 We save this for the Saturday special. It's time. 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:20.760 I saw so much traffic on Twitter about this event, 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:23.960 and I had fomo because you know, I sleep during 0:09:24.000 --> 0:09:27.520 those hours, and I was pissed off that I missed everything. 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:29.160 I just saw all the reactions. 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:31.520 Well, it was polarizing, Danny. Now we're going in the 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:32.280 hot top time machine. 0:09:32.280 --> 0:09:34.640 We're gonna go down memory lane looking back at the 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:39.080 Malar Paluza twenty twenty five. A spectacle. Now, we have 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:43.080 heard from those working the dreaded day shift, like you, Danny, 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:47.280 that a lot of people will stay up late, they'll 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:51.520 miss work, or go into work late, or you know, 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:55.320 sudden they wake up groggy because they stayed up too 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:58.200 late to hear the Malor Palooza. And the question that 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:02.800 is often asked was it worth it? And like most 0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:06.920 events on the Overnight Show, it depends on who you ask, 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:10.439 Like I thought this year's mall be I'll be completely 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:13.960 transparent here. I thought the twenty twenty five Mallard Palooza 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:17.640 was flat. It was like a bottle of PEPSI left 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.959 open on the counter. There was not enough fizz. There 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:24.960 was no real pop there. And it wasn't all terrible 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:29.040 like there were things that I loved. Inca terror outstanding 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:35.240 judge back from New York there, classically trained musician. I 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.839 think it is really good at that. Ohio Al, who's 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:43.480 a big part of this podcast, great wonderful. Bennett the 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:48.680 comedian Kid stayed up, had his younger sister Valerie take 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:51.880 part in his comedy bit Tony from the Bay Area. 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:53.680 Tony's always good. 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:57.800 Just Josh and Jay Scoop absolutely killed it all right. 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:01.120 We had the pig Squeeler, who I believe was on. 0:11:01.000 --> 0:11:02.680 When you were doing it, Danny, remember the guy that 0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:04.840 called he's been around for years. 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:06.040 That's a favorite. 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:07.480 Yeah, it's a fan favorite. 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:12.839 Andre from the Commonwealth brought his dog WILLISFF so. 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:13.640 That was kind of cool. 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:18.439 So we did have an actual canine contestant and that 0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:21.480 was pretty cool. And to me, that's the kind of 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:26.120 act if there's one act that defines what the Ben 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:31.480 Mahler Show and the Mallard Palooza should be. It's weird, 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:39.240 unexpected authentic, right, weird unexpected authentic, like a man and 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:40.199 his dog. 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:43.760 Just barking at. 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:45.160 Three in the morning. You know, That's that's what we're 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:49.720 looking for. That's Malard Palooza magic. That's overnight radio with 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:54.079 the callers, and it's like the perfect theater of the absurd. However, 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:58.400 the end of the d Danny and I do not 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:00.959 say this with much joy in my heart. The twenty 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:05.800 twenty five Malapluza had way too many peaks and valleys right, 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:08.080 way too many valleys, like. 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:12.480 We hit a wall a wall, and. 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:15.920 Doing the retrospective, the post mortem, the autopsy, every want 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:19.800 to say it like there's you never know what you're 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:21.920 gonna get with these things. I thought there was like 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:27.600 a quality control issue. Now I have realized, and this 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:33.120 is not meant to offend, but merely an observation that 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:37.600 we have a lot of people that listen overnight in 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:41.520 the Malad Militia that genuinely believe. 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:45.720 In their heart that they're funny. 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:50.959 They believe they've got amazing material that they should be 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:55.000 appearing at the improv. They believe they know how to 0:12:55.040 --> 0:13:03.120 deliver a punchline. Spoiler alert, they can't. There were comedy 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:07.640 routines that felt like they were written on the back 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:11.840 of a receipt at a waffle house within the last 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:16.000 twenty minutes before the bed like we kept waiting, we 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:18.640 kept waiting to laugh, Danny like nothing was. 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:20.400 It at least good bad? 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:22.599 No, no, it wasn't even good bad. It was just 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.360 bad bad, not even good bad. Like you cannot create 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:30.160 comedy in a vacuum. It's almost impossible to be funny 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:34.280 without people laughing and reacting. Like even to me, the 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:36.920 greatest comedian that I ever saw was a guy named 0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:37.640 George Carlin. 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:39.400 Old radio guy became a comedian. 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:43.520 George Carlin, if he came back across the Pearly Gates 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:48.600 would have struggled with some of these setups. Right and listen, 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:52.079 I'm sorry, I'm not sorry. Telling a knock knock joke 0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:57.440 in a deadpan monotone delivery at four in the morning 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:02.960 on Cape cod is not performance Art's. It made me feel, 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:07.599 Danny like I had been taken to Was it Alligator 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:12.200 Island or Guantanamo Bay or it was like torture. 0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:14.880 So enough. 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:18.160 I know everyone thinks they're funny, and you're probably really 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:19.520 funny and all that stuff. 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:22.600 But it just doesn't It does not work. 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:28.440 Okay, I downloaded that episode to my Apple page and 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:31.920 it's in my cue. I've already been looking forward to 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:35.440 hearing it, and now what you just said, instead of 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:38.080 driving me away, it makes me want to listen that 0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:38.720 much more. 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:45.400 Well, good luck. Now that's one problem. Okay, so that's 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:49.600 the first problem. The bigger issue now we are going 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:53.080 to get to the three headed fire breathing dragon in 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:53.440 the room. 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:54.000 Okay. 0:14:54.040 --> 0:14:58.400 The big issue here that the overnight show has gotten 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:02.040 so popular and we've done so well that the Mallard 0:15:02.040 --> 0:15:04.320 Palooza has gotten pretty big. 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:06.120 The show's gotten as much as. 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.840 An overnight show can get big, and so the Mallard 0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:13.480 Palooza has become contaminated with what your friend and our 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:14.680 former colleague, lay. 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:16.520 Travis, who says the mind virus. 0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:19.000 Now, when I say the mind virus, we have the 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:22.480 same problem that the NBA Slam Dunk contest has. We 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:24.520 have the same problem that the Major League Baseball home 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:26.400 run derby hash. 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:28.400 And what is that problem? 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:32.880 It is the it's a slow decline brought on by 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:37.080 one very painful truth. Some of our biggest stars in 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:41.080 the Malard militia don't want to play ball. They don't 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:43.800 want to be part of the Mallard palooza. They've got 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:45.920 much lofty status. 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:49.840 Danny, I'm not here to apologize about nothing, big bend. 0:15:50.480 --> 0:15:53.160 We listen, Ohio's not a bench guy, and just Josh 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:55.120 and Jay scoops of these other guys. But there were 0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:58.320 a lot of like, where's that guy? I want to 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.880 see that guy? Like for right now, I'm not gonna 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:04.280 name names. You know, I'm not gonna I'm not I'm 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:07.080 not gonna name names. But if I was gonna name names, 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:10.200 I'd be like, where's weed Man, Hippie, where's Hollering James, 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:11.080 Where's Jed? 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:13.320 Who fled? I need Blair in Maine? 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:16.880 How I would even take Marcel in Brooklyn doing food picks, 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:20.720 like random food picks like these are for us the 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:24.440 show heyl Tani, the Tani not in the home run 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:27.160 derby this year. That was a buzzkill. Anthony Edwards and 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.320 this he's never done the slam dunk contest. I don't 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:32.560 believe from the Timberwolves like for us, like we don't 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:36.600 have Anthony Edwards or Otani. We've got weed Man, Hippie 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:39.600 and angry Bill. And we were supposed to have Mark, 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:41.680 the full name guy, and then he had They couldn't 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:45.200 perform because he was gonna blow into a harmonica and 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:48.080 then he's like his roommate or whatever's gonna wake up, 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:50.280 and so he had to tap out. But at least 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.520 he called up and said I can't do it. But 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:57.120 those are the callers. Again, I didn't name anybody weed Man, hollering, 0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:59.000 James Jed who fled Blair Marshall. 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:00.000 I didn't name him Danny. 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.560 But those are the people that often the other listeners 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:04.200 tune in for. 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:07.000 These are the guys that you build the card around. 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:09.480 And it's kind of like you go to a boxing 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:11.560 match and you don't have a headliner or you know, 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:12.240 or you don't. 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:15.120 Have yeah, you know what. It's like a festival concert, 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:17.600 like a Saturday and a Sunday. You had the Saturday 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:20.240 performers but not the Sunday headliners. 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:23.159 Yeah, we just were lacking some of that stuff. 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:25.359 And and those are the people that you tune in 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:27.320 for and all that stuff, and they a lot we 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:30.240 need them to show up and we don't want to 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:34.560 hear I do not want to hear about caller burnout or. 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:36.760 I just need to take the year off. It's radio. 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:40.159 It's all you're doing is talking. This is the show 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:43.560 that never sleeps. We're always on in the middle of 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:48.159 the night. You don't load, manage your phone call, you 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:51.520 show up, You deliver, or at least you try. And 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:56.280 you can't be ghosting the mal or to lose like 0:17:56.359 --> 0:18:00.919 it loses some of its soul. Right, that's the recipe. 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:05.240 We need characters, we don't need now. There's always there's 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:08.639 always room for the open mic amateur, a few of 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:13.919 those guys. But you can't have every other performance be 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:17.760 that and Jed crashing his own segment mid call. I 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:20.920 would be like, Okay, that's good. You know Jed talking 0:18:20.960 --> 0:18:23.959 to another crackhead out in the swamp plant of Florida. Uh, 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:27.840 you know, weed man hippie asking for rent money, pay 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:30.560 we pay gmail me money or whatever. 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:31.720 I would have. 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:34.919 Taken there, and because you know, that's what makes the 0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:41.400 Malard Polsea sing and it's it's not cringeworthy comedy. 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:43.399 It's not that you know. 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:48.520 Now that said credit where it's due. I thought the 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:53.400 music was pretty good. I thought it was pretty good. 0:18:53.520 --> 0:18:57.520 Ohio Jayscoop, some of these other guys were solid. 0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:01.320 So what's next. So I'm looking ahead. 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:05.160 I'm projecting ahead Danny to the Malard Palooz at twenty 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:10.639 twenty six, and we clearly need some kind of better filter. 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:14.199 And when I was doing the post mortem, when I 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:18.520 was doing the autopsy, because of some scheduling issues on 0:19:18.600 --> 0:19:22.000 my end, we didn't really get a firm date early enough. 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:24.359 I think we just have to pick a firm date 0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:28.120 and stick with it. I think that's part of the problem. 0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:30.960 There really is no vetting process. I don't think we 0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:34.000 can have a vetting process. It's not like you say, well, 0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:36.280 send in a sample of what you're going to do 0:19:37.200 --> 0:19:39.960 and then we'll see if you're worthy. It's like we 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:44.040 don't have a blue ribbon panel. There's no Malard Tribunal, 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:46.520 there's no Tzar of performance that. 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:47.199 There's none of that. 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:51.359 And so we just need some people to bring the heat. 0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:55.880 We've got to em embress, we've got to embrace the weird. 0:19:57.000 --> 0:19:59.600 Well, I feel like a cash prize would also be 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:00.959 for the winner. 0:20:01.119 --> 0:20:01.840 Well, that's the thing. 0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:05.120 I mean, we actually have a prize here, our buddy 0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:09.960 from Houston, mister Irrigation, has provided another Mallor ring. 0:20:10.800 --> 0:20:12.000 I don't know if you were on the show when 0:20:12.000 --> 0:20:13.520 we last got rings. I don't know. 0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:16.240 This is several years back, but big fan of the 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:17.320 show and he's got. 0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:20.000 You know he was working on a Ben Mallar ring. 0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:22.720 Yeah, yeah, he had sent that. Maybe he had left 0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:25.320 the show by then, and then he's made another one. 0:20:25.720 --> 0:20:28.159 So this is a second Malord show ring. This is 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:31.160 how big a fan and how big a supporter mister 0:20:31.240 --> 0:20:35.400 Irrigation is. Which I just love Danny because he lives 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:38.520 in Houston and I'm not real popular as we've talked 0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:40.000 about on this show in Houston. 0:20:40.240 --> 0:20:42.359 Oh oh, you remember back in the day, I brought 0:20:42.400 --> 0:20:45.560 him to your show. I introduced him to you and 0:20:45.680 --> 0:20:48.840 the rest is history. So I'm glad there is a prize. 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:52.119 Did it go to Jay Scoop? Well, he made a 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:52.919 bunch of rings. 0:20:52.920 --> 0:20:54.960 Like the original plan was we were going to send 0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:57.359 the top four or five people rings. 0:20:57.359 --> 0:20:59.000 I guess we'll still probably end up doing that. 0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:00.880 Okay, I see that was a. 0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:04.320 Really nice thing to do, very generous. We have no budget. 0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:06.119 They don't give us anything to give away on the 0:21:06.119 --> 0:21:10.399 Overnight show. So we need listener It's like public radio. 0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:14.359 We need listener donations. It's a listener supported broadcast in 0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:19.040 many ways on the Overnight. So again, looking ahead for 0:21:19.119 --> 0:21:23.000 the love of Fats from Philadelphia, who famously during the 0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:25.720 COVID draft one of the great moments in show history. 0:21:25.800 --> 0:21:29.840 During the COVID NFL Draft on Zoom, Fats was so 0:21:30.000 --> 0:21:34.600 excited in his kitchen he lit himself on fire. 0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:39.359 Hell yeah, lit his chest on fire and screamed, Ben Mahler. 0:21:40.640 --> 0:21:44.480 That would have won going Away, all right, Danny, that 0:21:44.480 --> 0:21:50.200 would have won going Away Mallard Palouoza this year, because listen, 0:21:50.280 --> 0:21:54.840 the truth is the malar Palooza brand, if there is 0:21:54.880 --> 0:21:58.639 such a thing, is not about being polished. It's not 0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:05.320 about being America's idol or what. It's about the community 0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:09.720 that's at the malther militia, the long distance misfits that 0:22:10.040 --> 0:22:14.000 keep us all company from the Witching Hour and beyond and. 0:22:13.960 --> 0:22:14.639 All that stuff. 0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:18.199 And so again, I don't I know this is a 0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:20.000 dated reference, but there used to be this thing called 0:22:20.040 --> 0:22:24.399 public access back in the day, and that was like 0:22:24.560 --> 0:22:27.840 YouTube before YouTube, and it wasn't good. 0:22:28.359 --> 0:22:31.200