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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be

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Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're

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Speaker 1: going to read this one right here, right now, and

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Speaker 1: you never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here. It is Drawberry Letter.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Nephew's subject low vibrational loving. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am

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Speaker 1: divorced and I'm dating again. I've gone to counseling to

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Speaker 1: deal with the baggage that was part of the destruction

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Speaker 1: of my marriage. So I consider myself healed and I'm

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Speaker 1: ready to get into a healthy new relationship. But God

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Speaker 1: really does have a sense of humor. I went on

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Speaker 1: three horrible dates when I first got back on the

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Speaker 1: dating scene. I decided to try online dating, and I'm

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Speaker 1: matched up with a guy that looks great on paper,

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Speaker 1: but he has some issues with his finances. I don't

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Speaker 1: mind meeting a man halfway with the bills, but if

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Speaker 1: I got serious with this guy, I'd have to pay

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Speaker 1: our bills and his child support. I can't fold a

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Speaker 1: man for having baggage, but I also don't have to

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Speaker 1: take on a fixer upper. I just don't think that

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Speaker 1: God would put me through that again. Been there, done

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Speaker 1: that with my ex husband. So what's with all the

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Speaker 1: low vibrational loving with this new generation of men.

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Speaker 3: I'm thirty four.

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Speaker 1: Years old, and it's hard to meet a man in

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Speaker 1: my age range that's successful, that's successful and ready to

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Speaker 1: settle down. I've been on first dates and have had

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Speaker 1: to pay for my meal, and the guys expect me

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Speaker 1: to pursue them. I prefer a strong minded man. He

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Speaker 1: doesn't have to be rich, but he needs to have

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Speaker 1: a plan. I work with a few married men my

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Speaker 1: age and they seem to be on the right path,

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Speaker 1: so I know good black men are out there. Some

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Speaker 1: women are accepting low vibrational loving and the bare minimum

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Speaker 1: from a man, and that makes it hard for women

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Speaker 1: with higher standards. I want to meet a man that

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Speaker 1: is on my level, but if I can't, how do

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Speaker 1: I help guide a man to greatness without belittling him

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Speaker 1: or making him feel inadequate? Okay, that's a lot of

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Speaker 1: work right there, I mean a lot. And it's not

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Speaker 1: your responsibility to like fix a man, that's not your job.

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Speaker 1: But you can encourage him, you can build him up,

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Speaker 1: you can stroke his ego, that sort of thing.

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Speaker 3: And it's perfectly fine.

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Speaker 1: In having said all of that, for you to want

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Speaker 1: what you want out of a man, that's okay too.

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Speaker 1: It's great that you have higher standards. I mean, and

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Speaker 1: I could tell you're a good woman because you care,

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Speaker 1: You've gone to therapy, you've worked on yourself. You're willing

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Speaker 1: to help your man and elevate him to greatness. All

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Speaker 1: that is wonderful to you. And there are a lot

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Speaker 1: of good men out there. But there also are a

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Speaker 1: lot of to use your term, low vibrational loving men

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Speaker 1: and women in the world today.

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Speaker 3: You know that low energy.

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Speaker 1: That's sad energy, low self esteem, energy going nowhere.

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Speaker 3: Just bad energy.

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Speaker 1: Okay, But again, there are a lot of good men

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Speaker 1: out there. If that's all you're running into, these kind

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Speaker 1: of low vibrational kind of guys, then you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to do something different than what you've been doing. You

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Speaker 1: got to change your circle, you know, go different places,

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Speaker 1: try a new type of dating app et cetera. The

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Speaker 1: kind of man you want would not allow you to

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Speaker 1: pay his child support, let alone dinner and his bills

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Speaker 1: and all of that.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I just say, don't give up. You said

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Speaker 3: it in your letter.

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Speaker 1: There are some good black men out there, so just

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Speaker 1: be patient, Steve.

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Speaker 2: Let me just go and get into it.

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Speaker 4: You divorced and you're dating again, so you had some baggage,

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Speaker 4: but you consider yourself healed after counseling. But then you say,

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Speaker 4: but God does have a sense of humor, and God

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Speaker 4: ain't do this though. See, God gives us all the

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Speaker 4: power of choice. It is the choices that we make

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Speaker 4: that put us in a predicaments or situations that we

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Speaker 4: find ourselves in. God didn't tell you to call either

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Speaker 4: one of these men. God didn't tell you to pick

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Speaker 4: one of them. You didn't even ask God. You went

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Speaker 4: on the date app and you did what.

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Speaker 2: You wanted to do. This is you.

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Speaker 4: God don't have a sense of humor, but he does

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Speaker 4: want to have a relationship with you where you confide

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Speaker 4: in him about things. Now, you got over this divorce,

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Speaker 4: which congratulations, and you went to therapy, so you didn't

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Speaker 4: bring the baggage. Congratulations. Then after you got yourself here.

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Speaker 4: You quit talking to God because you fixed now, so

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Speaker 4: you ain't asking him to help you find the man.

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Speaker 4: You went out there to find one yourself. The Bible

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Speaker 4: says when a man find it the wife, he finded

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Speaker 4: the good thing. So now while you out there husband hunting,

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Speaker 4: good luck. That ain't what you do. That ain't your

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Speaker 4: job finding a husband? Lord him good luck lady. Anyway,

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Speaker 4: So you decided to dating app, and you've matched up

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Speaker 4: with a guy that listened to this, that looks great

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Speaker 4: on paper, but has some issue with his finances. Okay,

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Speaker 4: so what paper were talking about? He looked good on

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Speaker 4: the dating app paper, but on the credit app. We

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Speaker 4: ain't gonna be able to rent this apartment. He ain't

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Speaker 4: gonna ever get to a car, so we ain't gonna

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Speaker 4: have nowhere to live and we can't drive off. No.

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Speaker 2: Well, well let's see.

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Speaker 4: Why am I sitting here talking to him?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 4: You say I don't mind meeting the man halfway with

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Speaker 4: the bills. See right there, stop all that. If you're

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Speaker 4: gonna have high expectations have him. Now, I'm not saying

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Speaker 4: you ain't supposed to chip in, because that's what the

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Speaker 4: marriage is. It's chipping in, So I applaud you with

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Speaker 4: your willingness to do that. But you want to meet

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Speaker 4: him halfway with the bills, But I'd have to pay

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Speaker 4: our bills and his child support.

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Speaker 2: Really that don't sound like fun to me anyway.

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Speaker 4: But if I got seised with this guy, you'd have

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Speaker 4: to pay the bills that. I can't fought a man

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Speaker 4: for having baggage. But I also don't have to take

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Speaker 4: a fixer upper. No, you don't. But when I come back,

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Speaker 4: I will get into this letter with you. And you said,

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Speaker 4: I just don't think God will put me through that again.

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Speaker 4: But see you didn't ask God about this man, though,

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Speaker 4: digit you picked him on your own.

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Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response

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Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three.

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Speaker 3: Minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: The Today's Strawberry Letter subject is low vibrational loving.

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Speaker 3: We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, Come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject low vibration.

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Speaker 4: This woman's divorce, got on the dating scene, went to counseling,

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Speaker 4: got herself fixed up. She says, she's here. No baggage

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Speaker 4: from an ex husband, and so she started dating. Met

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Speaker 4: a great guy that looked good on paper, but his

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Speaker 4: finances was raggedy. So the paper she was looking at

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Speaker 4: was the online dating app. Who gonna put some incriminating

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Speaker 4: information on a dating app? Nobody? Everybody looked good on

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Speaker 4: dating app. Good looking guy, sharp, young, in shape, just

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Speaker 4: like you like it. Yeah, but y'all got some issues

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Speaker 4: with the finances. Now, you don't mind meeting the man halfway?

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Speaker 4: I could applaud you for that, But if I got

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Speaker 4: serious about this guy to have to pay our bills

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Speaker 4: and his child support. Oh, so you got to take

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Speaker 4: care of men. So you got to pay our bills,

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Speaker 4: which means your bills, his bill and his child support.

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Speaker 4: How this a good ass deal? Who signs up for this?

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Speaker 4: But see, you went out husband hunting, and this is

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Speaker 4: what happened when you go husband hunting once again. Like

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Speaker 4: I said before, I know y'all think scriptures is old

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Speaker 4: fashioned and stuff, but just stuff been around for a

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Speaker 4: long time and it's still hold true. The Bible says

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Speaker 4: when a man find that the wife, he find that

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Speaker 4: the good thing. It don't say when a woman go

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Speaker 4: out to find a husband, she can find a good thing.

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Speaker 2: You are. Not hunters is not what you do.

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Speaker 4: Now, it's okay to put yourself on these apps, it's

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Speaker 4: okay to date, and it's okay to show them that

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Speaker 4: you're available. But if you're out there hunting for one,

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Speaker 4: that ain't what you do. You're uncomfortable hunting. You don't

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Speaker 4: know how to hunt. Most hunters if you go to

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Speaker 4: bass pro shopping. My favorite story in the world, when

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Speaker 4: you go to bass pro shops they have a women's section.

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Speaker 4: It ain't a big against the men's section. Though most

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Speaker 4: hunters are men. Some went to women hunt, but most

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Speaker 4: hunters are men. That are some women who are really

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Speaker 4: really great hunters, but the vast majority of men sitting

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Speaker 4: up in them trees, shooting deers and ducks, going bad

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Speaker 4: hunting and wild bull hunting.

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Speaker 2: Mostly men. Okay, so here we go.

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Speaker 4: Now, I don't think God would put me through that

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Speaker 4: again because you don't want to have a fixer upper.

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Speaker 2: But you picked this guy, not God.

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Speaker 4: Remember you didn't go to God for this. You was

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Speaker 4: going to God to get over your husband. Then after

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Speaker 4: that you got healed, you went out there and start

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Speaker 4: making decisions on your own. So now you want to

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Speaker 4: know why God would send you through this, and what's

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Speaker 4: up with all this low vibrational love in this new general.

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Speaker 2: I'm thirty four.

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Speaker 4: Years old, and it's hard to meet a man in

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Speaker 4: my age range that's successful and ready to settle down.

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Speaker 2: Right here, it is hard to find a thirty four

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Speaker 2: year old man that's successful. That's a true statement.

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Speaker 4: They are out there, but all the way successful at

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Speaker 4: thirty four. I was nowhere near very successful at thirty four,

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Speaker 4: but I was on my way.

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Speaker 2: I had a plan.

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Speaker 4: You may not want to fix her upper but most

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Speaker 4: men at this level, from just a few decisions away

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Speaker 4: from becoming successful, they need a woman.

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Speaker 2: Most men.

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Speaker 4: Now I'm not saying you can't be successful without a woman,

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Speaker 4: because there's a lot of men in the music business

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Speaker 4: and the pro athletes and sign the contract and you

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Speaker 4: can be successful. Hard to be great without a woman,

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Speaker 4: though most great men in history have had women by

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Speaker 4: their side. It's just hard to be great without a man.

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Speaker 4: I ain't got time to explain it to you.

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Speaker 2: Just take my word for it.

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Speaker 4: But now, anyway, thirty four years old, it is hard

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Speaker 4: to find a man that's successful and ready to settle down,

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Speaker 4: because just like you all have a biological clock that's ticking,

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Speaker 4: and around thirty you want to start having kids and

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Speaker 4: make it all that. We got a financial clock and

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Speaker 4: we don't really get it to ticket until our late

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Speaker 4: twenties and thirties, after we'd have messed up all of

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Speaker 4: our twenties party and hanging out, running around trying to

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Speaker 4: figure it out. So, yes, it's hard, but they are

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Speaker 4: out there. What you need to find is a thirty

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Speaker 4: four year old man that's headed somewhere. He might not

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Speaker 4: be there, but he's headed somewhere. Then you want to

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Speaker 4: attach yourself to that. He may not be a fixer upper,

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Speaker 4: but he needs.

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Speaker 2: Some fix it, just like you do.

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Speaker 3: I like that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, everybody needs fixing. Like Marjorie is everything that I'm not.

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Speaker 2: She's that.

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Speaker 4: So she helps me be a better version of me

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Speaker 4: because she's what I'm not and I needed that. We're

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Speaker 4: seventeen years in now, see, and that's comes from getting somebody.

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Speaker 4: And when she met me, I was I was successful.

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Speaker 4: I was broken up pretty bad. They had done a

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Speaker 4: number on me, but she came along and came in

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Speaker 4: there and got in the trenches with me and made

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Speaker 4: it work. I've been on first dates and had to

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Speaker 4: pay for my meal, and the guys expect me to

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Speaker 4: pursue him. I prefer a strong minded man that he

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Speaker 4: don't have to be rich. That's good, but he needs

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Speaker 4: to have a plan. That's exactly what I said to you. Well,

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Speaker 4: now you know that. What is you picking these other

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Speaker 4: men for? You see what I'm saying. You can't know this?

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Speaker 4: And then overlook this. Now, the dude that needs you

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Speaker 4: to pay his bills and his child support? What plan

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Speaker 4: he got? He just told it to you. I need

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Speaker 4: you to pay these bills and his child's support. You

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Speaker 4: can't hit yourself to that wagon. I work with a

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Speaker 4: few married men and my age, and they seem to

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Speaker 4: be on the right path. So I knew good blinking

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Speaker 4: black men out that they are. Some women are accepting

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Speaker 4: of low income, vibrational bare minimum from a man, and

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Speaker 4: that makes it hard for women with the higher standards.

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Speaker 2: Know it, don't know it? Don't?

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Speaker 4: You just got to stay away from those types of men.

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Speaker 4: It's easy to find out. I ask some questions anyway,

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Speaker 4: I want to meet a man that's on my level.

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Speaker 4: But if I can't, how do I help guide a

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Speaker 4: man to greatness without belooking him or making him feel inadequate.

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Speaker 2: That's an easy question for me to answer. You know

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Speaker 2: how you do that.

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Speaker 4: You don't belittle him and you don't make him feel inadequate.

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Speaker 1: Tada all right. Post your comment on today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Steve. It's Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook,

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Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free

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Speaker 1: Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour at

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Speaker 1: Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening Steve

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